Joe Rogan Experience #306 — Christopher Ryan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. I'm sorry if we allegedly got you too high before the show to talk. Well, that long commercial gave me a chance to calm down a little bit. so uh thanks for doing this man your book if people don't know it's called sex at dawn Right. If you say, well, we went camping in the Yucatan. It's like, whoa, that's still the name. That's the guy who America's named after.

2:51 explaining what this place was like in the trees and all the fish they could possibly want. He said, with 500 men, I could subjugate the siguramente es gente que viven in dios which means these are certain certainly people who It's very difficult when someone's a cunt to turn them around. I think, like, it's on a... He was dancing in some way. That's got to drive you fucking squirrely.

5:38 and you're going to push it out into this never-ending ocean. What is that about? I know of that one and one other one. I love that shit. it would have been different it would have been great unsuccessful selling stuff that he was ready to go back to Kansas or wherever the fuck he was from He can't be anything other than Jack. A big rant! What was that?

8:11 The devil's quiet. Evil's got to be reptilian So that, you know, he thought that that's what they were doing when they were appearing in such weird sort of classic forms. How's that? what am i going to do with 100 hits of acid you know i was like 35 or something and uh so one And so I thought this is the last time Yeah. like to be cocky and think that we can handle it because we've handled it before right but then all

11:49 And then you're a baby once again. If you go to a vodka store, a liquor store rather, and you buy vodka, you pretty well Whereas with drugs, there's a lot of, are you sure? I used to do a lot of research. In Spain you can send ecstasy to a lab or there are guys in the clubs with labs that'll test it But acid LSD isn't really like that too much because it's very cheap and easy to make LSD relatively for a chemist.

14:44 solid grip on it, it's possible for it to There was a documentary detailing it. Killing all those fucking people. That's 100 percent insanity. If you thought that the world was doing something bad, that there was something wrong with how We're always going to try to create better and new things. which is, you know, there's ways we can have fuel and energy

17:08 the bankers in jail they're like you fucking assholes and and elected a lesbian to president Did you do that on purpose? I'm just going to stay under this tree. of like this is all like with my conscious energies it's sort of dancing around What do you think was going on then when you were trying to tune into the energy of the tree and you had all this electricity?

19:51 Everybody would want to live underneath that and take the chances if one dude became The Flash from a DC comic book. Have they ever shown that, health-wise, to be... right yeah yeah it's not good to live into those things i don't think so yeah i think it's uh have Why didn't they have them underground? was probably the pilot light in the uh the stove or something you know some sort of a gas leak

21:21 Why, does Woody Allen talk like that? Yeah. Well, we're just so willy-nilly with the fact that we've got gigantic sources of power Yeah. He told me – he's like, you should check out this book, man. Because she read it, and she was just like, oh, my God god this is so anti-marriage and blah blah blah I didn't know who he was. He was in first class or something.

24:24 And he told me about a movie he was working on at the time about arab terrorists or something like that you know, I'm going to see Ricky Schroeder in two months in Washington at this event for veterans. Well, I would never repeat that story because it's a story that you heard. Yeah. He's a friend of guy he's he's a So it's sort of looking at how human beings behaved sexually before there were civilizations telling them what to do and what not to do.

27:41 sure sure sure you know and there's a good reason for that response. I mean, the fact is that women are in a situation now and have been for millennia Our ancestors didn't need to because the women had direct access to their food and their status And that essentially is what a lot of men become. In other words, the gold, you know, we're talking about gold diggers or whatever we're talking about,

30:21 Women don't have direct access to what they need. So women weren't, that affected women in two ways. That's the only way. nor his house, nor his servants, nor his ox, nor his sheep, et cetera. So it's thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's property. How did they morph from these tribal societies of equality to these city societies? And then from then, it's really been all about accelerating that process, accelerating that

34:08 the first steps. You know, because we argue pretty strongly in Sex at Dawn. And in all those different parts of the world, in the years before, by looking at pollen residue and fossils and stuff, they can tell that the years before the advent of agriculture generally tended to be unusually rich. because hunter-gatherer societies tended to be pretty much in balance with like every other species with the food supply. So suddenly there's way

36:40 happening back further and further and further. They've just found evidence of cheese making from, like, thousands of years. figure out the whole closet set up yet you go over someone's house and you're probably want to overthrow the government and you know you don't support taxes and you think we It's so stupid at this point in time that you can't have a room in your house where you just have all these plants hanging out,

38:38 Eat the worms. things are they're aware or if not aware there's something coming off of them it's not as simple Have you ever been to Finhorn? You know? You just put it in a bottle of water and I still kill those things somehow. Cats are weird animals, aren't they? All those trees. They're probably thinking that they're jungle to those little creepy fucks. All those trees.

40:55 My cat is this big, fluffy cat. I just got one. And then my cat just wipes its face in it and then wipes its paws in it. That's a strange little thing that makes mice attracted to the smell of cat piss. Yeah. What a great evolutionary quirk that is. It removes their fear of them, too. It's a strange little thing that makes mice attracted to the smell of cat piss.

42:02 Yeah. They don't know. He apparently is the an emergency room, and they found that a disproportionate how much of an effect it has on some people And then they go find them, these rats and mice. It's crazy. a primate's memoir beautiful book about his years in kenya that's him and he's a great writer yeah So he's looking at like how different males good food there. And the best food

45:04 of this baboon male dominance hierarchy got wiped out. and they go looking for another group. still significantly less uptight than any other troop that has ever been He was a nut. but in that situation, it really does mirror this baboon society It's a very good story. I mean, that's just what it is. And if we weren't spending it on that and we were instead spending it on some sort of

48:51 whether it's the infrastructure of a country So I think there's a built-in impetus to blow shit up because then you get paid to rebuild it. really is. It's just we're governed in a shitty way, of the military-industrial complex? To manage this many people, I think the systems that work are dehumanizing, inherently dehumanizing. But then how – if that's the case, then how come some people are just fucking living high on the hog?

51:51 I've known I mean that wears out. Exactly. Siberia is, the life in the taiga people are these trappers that live in this very small town where they essentially don't use money. They drive like a fucking hundred miles in a snowmobile. anything right now yeah like you are in a position right now where you can actually relax but see There's meaning when you're smoking bud that you grew and you cut and you trimmed and you cured.

54:23 reward systems set up from hunter-gatherer cultures, don't we? Their lives get destroyed in short order. You go to Toronto where nobody knows you and you party, start partying you got how much money oh man you just need an You just got to get hooked up with the right people. And then with that gone, also there's like the character lessons You would all of a sudden have fucking $300 million

57:16 You can kind of tell when people like you. i'm so happy for you oh my god we have to celebrate oh my god next thing though someone's trying to and owns a hundred different, you know, some you're lenny the fucking douchebag who was working at lottery king yeah he's working at cvs and want to start a business? You go and you sign out some papers. He's like 24 years old or something.

59:30 Oh, my God. I don't agree with it whatsoever. in personal responsibility no but realistically if Stop it. Because especially men who are like big businessmen and back in the day, conquerors even would have a sit down with scholars and they would discuss certain issues. No, seriously. Well, this guy, he was a nanny to this really successful woman, a male nanny.

1:03:11 And now he's a life coach. got this for poor, I don't trust my- I've had a conversation with a guy once before and it was just like, whoa. necklace, and his hair No, the lady's just Yeah. He would tell that story. It was like, wow, this guy's cool. Together it works. So people either respond to it positively or negatively, but it's very personal. had to stop every 10 pages and masturbate oh what a good girl yeah what a good girl yeah i did not

1:07:07 when we watch them in a movie or on a television show or even hear about them in a song, but for like two weeks before he actually said it i mean it was like really meticulously done down He was banging everything like a savage. I bet he really loved her. because he was like some unknown guy who was screwing everybody's baby. are you fake because you know you like someone so much that you aspire to be kinder around them or nicer around them?

1:09:32 No, she has WP on her legs. I'll show you. Thai guy, wanted to open a bar that would Opening night did not go as planned. But if you have any Nazi memorabilia in your house. It's too – even though it was 1947 or whatever it was when it ended, it's still too close. Thank you. Yeah. Well, she's got one on her forehead, man. And when something comes along like your book where it pretty much just factually breaks down the history of sexuality.

1:12:50 Did you get to that? I actually felt it happen. Do you like forget people's names as you're hearing them? Like at a party or something? Bob, is that what you're saying? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I thought maybe this is like really good if people don't know about this. martial arts on stage. Would it fuck up the humor? What are we going to talk about?

1:15:23 I can't about it. My interests have always been in martial arts. I can't help it. I mean I'm still completely fascinated and dedicated to the art of stand-up comedy. I got lucky. Right. You're that guy. And John Rollo is a great guy. I'm not bullshitting. But everybody who knows him, So when you're around him But, yeah, as a comedian, you sort of always thought, like, you don't want to go Joe Piscopo style.

1:17:57 Fear Factor or UFC That's it? Yeah. That's a gig? That's on my resume,ive? Exactly. That's a gig? It's independent films. and i and i had had a black girlfriend for a while i thought she meant on some conceptual And then they do the Spanish part, so I didn't even have to go into Spanish. No. Oh, you really? I'm going to get some beads and put my hair in a ponytail.

1:21:02 Is it like one of those History Channel shows? He's the director of that. That's all the guys who Ali fought, they talk about him. It's really moving actually give these guys an infusion of cash yeah and kenny norton was like living in his car when he fought You know? It's an So, yeah. But anyway, so I developed the show with Pete. No, I haven't seen that.

1:24:56 the idea of uh influence of uh aliens on ancient cultures oh right right i know most of it by the apparently pretty rare but a really nice guy really unfortunate and He's been on a few times, and he has this fucking big crazy hair. Well, they're pretty sure that if there ever was a Bigfoot that it's an animal called Gigantopithecus that did exist. A lot of what you're getting when you're getting American Indians

1:28:12 It's not outside the realm of possibility. and maybe they died off, but it's the only place where you can find blank you know it's really hard to find an alligator It's true. Right. Oh, yeah? I mean, hours by plane from everywhere, you know? found these things. Did you find any footprints You know, unless we're there, it's all There's one online it's essentially exactly what a bigfoot is it's an now where does the aquatic ape fit into all this the aquatic ape theory is the theory of like that's a gigantopithecus

1:32:19 man, what is a 2,000 pound primate? And stuff you up its ass It has weird extensions to its fins. uh bone and that's uh that's the i guess they used them in traditional chinese medicine so It's amazing. They have the most dogshit martial arts in the world. like now because of the ultimate Fighting Championship, there's very clear parameters of what is and isn't effective against the best fighters in the world.

1:35:07 You can try. Then people would be doing that all the time. If someone's trying to kill you. they would fucking freak the fuck out. Yeah, gigantopithecus blackie is the actual full scientific name. Yeah. As authentic as it gets. Almost every one of his movies. Yeah, it was a medical condition. You tweeted something today that I wanted to discuss with you.

1:37:43 Really? and it's not about They could lock onto playing cards. He's fucking four aces. How else can we get excitement? Edward Abbey, I think we – there's a quote from Edward Abbey in our book where he talks about how sexuality is the only part of modern life that remains somewhat undomesticated. That's not a small amount of people. I'm going to tell you.

1:40:41 It's so prevalent. That's leading us. And that's exactly the model we were talking about earlier. It leads us I certainly think that if you give people enough – I think people inherently need, especially men, difficult tasks in their life. whether it's just your education, delving into education what's the best way to interact with people, what's the most harmonious way to live your

1:43:38 silly notions and momentum the momentum of the people that set this whole system up way back They're alive. They've got their own logic and their own needs. I mean, if you looked at technology as a life form itself, you would, I mean, we don't think You can also make an argument that it's separating people from human interaction. That's why I think we're civilized to death because we're, we're moving further and further away from the

1:46:32 Their lives are meaningless. as a percentage of the population than ever before in our history, when i felt that i felt that momentum building and i took a summer off college i hitchhiked to Hope we like each other. and then go across horizontally to Fairbanks. year was this this was I think it was the second year so was 84 Wow how crazy Just drove you to some terrible place?

1:49:23 So we were stuck there. We can't get a ride. Let's trip balls. I went to prison with one of them later that summer. So as soon as I got in the van, I was like, oh, yeah, how are you doing? She sat in the back of the van with her kids, played with the kids. Wow. it worked out and you guys weren't crazy you didn't wind up dismembering her and the family

1:51:30 It's just like flat, empty. shellfish or something. at first we were like, you know, someone with a fire. the canadians wouldn't let them bring their guns through canada there's all this stuff they picked That's fascinating. You know, you could take a wild guess and you could be okay. Well, I got gotta say the homosexuals at that time my best friend

1:54:14 Well, he shouldn't have to prostitute himself either just for a ride. Very desolate, kind of empty country. knives? And he sort of says it in that, like he's not asking, he's noting. And I said, Right. way to new york he was a prison guard and the thing was like he's a trained you know he's trained to It's hard because they've done it a thousand times.

1:57:07 And then the cops wanted to ask me about what I knew because they were listening to his phone calls. Like, what is – is it legal to know that a guy might have killed tenure and all set up and, you know, and I went up to Alaska and I met all these people who blew my mind, who were really kind and generous and smart and deep people who weren't intellectuals, right, who had no idea who Nietzsche was or whatever.

1:58:40 I'm not going to get married. about alaska there's a right the subsistence shows well there's subsistence shows their Yeah, I don't know what the fuck they do And he was on the phone with a friend of his, and he took a bucket of hot water. See, if I have to be subsistence, I don't want to do it there. Her family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing stuff.

2:01:48 whoa, that is a nutty The weirdness that we have to deal with in modern society. Yeah, well, the fact is the stress level on the subway every day or whatever You know, there were these people on Darwin's boat. And then on the voyage Darwin was on, they were taking them back to Tierra del Fuego The cabin was abandoned. Something that looks miserable to the British, right?

2:05:18 It looks like death, whereas like hunting and gathering is kind of fun. It's very delicious. amsterdam's beautiful spring day by a canal and these ducks are paddling by it's just like you Like me. and that we have to fulfill these weird needs in other ways. I mean, it's what you were talking about earlier, He really didn't have anybody to hang out with and he was going through a really hard time with a family member and stuff.

2:08:51 A lot of masseurs will tell you it's not even about the massage. And the only way to slow it down is far fewer people. People get very defensive when you talk about reducing the number of people on the planet. That's an interesting – what if it becomes infinite? He was an exception. We know he was exceptional. can just keep you know increasing it isn't going to work what are you sending me man

2:11:42 I enjoy the internet. and that we all must sort of morph and move on with the times, As this internet gets stronger and stronger and more and more pervasive, which it's that but the problem is that just like the body if you don't give the body the exercise patterns I was like, dude, you feel it. Right. You're moving around. that environment was like and try to adapt your life in important ways to bring it into

2:15:28 be something completely different we're going to be moved if we exist in the same physical form tended to yeah in the proper way in order for you to get the right feelings from it and part of your Yeah. You're floating through space and nothing's coming at you. And it's such a recharge. It's I think he died. You should meet Stanley sometime. Would you like to go with me?

2:18:29 altered states of consciousness, and shamanism, and dream interpretation, Where does he live? He knew Alan Watts. where the prominent people would just have a smart guy hang around. We need one of those, Brian. Is it today? Have you – I mean, it's obviously a very successful book. it's been just sort of freaking out And then in bold, because we're not like bonobos.

2:21:10 Yeah. Not really much more, but I thought it was possible You can choose to be a vegetarian, So to me, there's no advice implicit in that. of like direct your vision. Right. Someone approached us recently and wanted to make an illustrated kids version. Oh, that's funny. You know Who is he? And I said to him Right? Let's say relationship skills, right?

2:25:02 And he was saying like the first time you start talking about helping men deal with women, If you were living a movie and you're the guy that everyone admires and he woke up and this is his situation, how would he handle it? Is it genetics? Yes. You know, hey, one of your parents is dead. one-way ticket to New Delhi. I wanted to go see the world, right? So I had about $15,000 in cash

2:28:01 all I had to do was wake up, brush my teeth, and go. Right. So I did. I'm sitting in the train station waiting, having a chai. owner is awake by this point and he's like what are you doing I just ran past him up to the door, banging on the door. I need some papers I left there. And he's looking at me like there's this look like he's not unfriendly, this guy.

2:29:47 I said, I left all my money there. me my money back. The kid needs a new job. He said, you know, give me, I don't know what it was, five, ten bucks or something, So I guess what I'm saying to you is not everyone's lucky. I don't even know my father. a desire to see things and experience things, it's sort of – it's a part of being a human I think that what's most important in your story was that fucking cool guy

2:32:58 you know, Don't start feeling bad for yourself because, oh, now something bad happened. I always said that the apocalypse is here. generation prior so I think if there's ever a time where the momentum is going to be at least But I think there is what you're saying. There's no argument for it. Do you have a book? Yeah, yeah. So Dan Savage, who has a nationally syndicated

2:36:45 So he asked his readers to send in crazy definitions for Santorum. Done. That was. Yeah. Yeah. in this country that will cling to these But why the hell did I raise him? read by millions of people, he basically said, five times or something you know he's he had a profile in the new york times dan hasn't changed the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, whatever.

2:39:39 You've got mail. is all out there now. You can't keep You're making billions and you're still fucking miserable as shit. and as fellow citizens in this experiment called life, So there's the language issue. Yeah. especially women who are openly non-monogamous, which attracts some attention. So we talk about bonobos being freaks. on kindle i have it on a nook you can uh you can buy the actual physical book if you're one of

2:43:58 Don't you? Like it picks up right where you left off. Yeah, it's brilliant. You know you've got to put your foot down. and tuning in and thanks for all the positive tweets super sweet Death Squad t-shirts And you can get it on the iPad for $2.99