Joe Rogan Experience #309 — Adam Hunter Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. This is like one of the highlights of my whole career, dude. the air and got in a bit of And then there was a moment of just awkwardness where goldberg looked at you and he's like and it was the yeah and if you know who martinman is, and you know, like, No, it was... I don't think they care. If you could have said what the.

2:42 I was like, dude, that is the funniest fucking thing. holocaust started well that's just someone trolling that's just like what are people I know. I obviously respect that person and it's trying to make you laugh. because I'll write something, And all of a sudden all these fighters, John Dodson is like, roast me, man. Mike Pyle has a great sense of humor.

5:22 They don't like it. I'm just like. I'd probably show it to him. And then followers started making – and then I felt bad because followers were making fun of him. And I was like – so then I started making fun of Sap the other day, and Sap started following me. And then followers started making – and then I felt bad because followers were making fun of him.

6:46 Yeah, who at the time was like... Dude, that one... how big Bob Sapp was. with leg kicks and knock dudes out with head kicks like set you up with leg kicks and take you out And look at how he's punching. He can't even lift his legs up. I don't care how much muscle you have on you. think, how the fuck does Bob Sapp And Bob Sapp starts moving forward again.

10:08 You can say Bob Sapp right here. And Bob Sapp is still there. round And then the referee comes and stops it. There is no shame in Bob Sapp's career and how he came along and when he came along. But the fact that he was going to take on this superhuman was a completely different entity. head like wrestling style that those those fights his fights with um ernesto hoost the kickboxing fights that he had those are some of the greatest fights to watch ever agreed just ridiculously

13:14 Yeah. he fucking beat Ernesto Hoost. Those kickboxing matches though, that's – they're doing this glory. It's pretty badass And it was Strikeforce, but now Strikeforce is going away. That was a great knee. when you see him and he's like really on he's fucking sensational you know he's had some really And then when I stopped doing it, I was like, now what am I going to do?

16:15 You know, for some it was the karate tournaments or kickboxing or whatever it is. That was my whole thing. prank the local television every thursday night they'd be like i was like hey yeah because i was I'd be like, oh, blow me. Because of my... To have my own talk show? It's almost impossible to not be. Yeah, so that was like... I'm just fucking with you.

19:11 No, I didn't. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, really? to me that was the inner rage, in me at least. That's why I love MMA so much. But I wouldn't have gotten into wrestling if it wasn't for the rage of my mom leaving. And then I wouldn't have gotten into wrestling if it wasn't for the rage of my mom leaving. Yeah. Well, that's ridiculous. I would never do that.

21:36 I love her. But there's always got to be a victim in comedy. sweet girls but i you know when you you say something like that i have to laugh it's funny Also, it's very womanly and gossipy because you haven't had conversations with her about this. For legal reasons. So you got to say it. My comedy, I'm on a storyteller comedy. Yeah, you're really like a Twitter writer.

24:09 130 because you've got to get it retweeted. What's that? That's silly. So I'll start doing that then. It's just work having to remember that. It's stressful, man. I tweeted about it at a red light. We should figure out a way to control the I love that dude. the iron rods, Pierce, didn't do it. The tyrants did it. Hitler took the guns. Stalin took the

27:18 Pierce Morgan fucked up. this guy's out of his mind? Remember? yeah i mean come on let's be real it's true we're probably gonna get tweets from people Yeah, because I was hanging out with the wrong – I was getting bullied a lot and I was hanging out with the wrong kids. Now we do. But anyway, I got sent to boarding school pot back then. Whatever. My mom – except mom, we didn't get along. Now we do.

29:39 I wasn't a bad kid, but I definitely had wrong energies. dumb asses do you know at our age you know oh yeah yeah this is the age doesn't mean anything No one can be smart in this day and age. and then i'm like when this guy's got two kids when does this fucker sleep like how do i get There's a lot of shit that I could be doing that I'm not doing. Right.

32:35 on the way back i did three fucking 360s into the fucking thing got home and hit to the wall I'm like, what is this? begging people to come to the comedy shows. thank you man, I appreciate it fuck it, we'll try. It'd be me and the seven other comedians As soon as you get on stage, you're like, say you've seen this guy on mtv's half hour comedy no you hadn't yeah you've been on that

34:55 And it was like a prom show where after the prom, like, they bring the kids to the comedy club. Because Hunter is not a douchey last name unless you call yourself Hunter. You bumming me out again? And I didn't really say, is Times Square around here? It was a good way to – no, but I would. Oh, she would think, oh, my God, he's so sweet. And that I'm never going to make it if my last name is Greenberg because people don't

37:14 I changed it to Hunter. Were you crazy? They're like, I thought you were Italian. You're not claiming them. You're not that old. Yeah. And then my high school, my nickname was Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. Greenie. When I was on Last Comic Standing, they kept trying to get me to tell that story, and I What is it like doing those boats?

39:47 and it's all full of like that's the good part at like noon That's the good part. Oh my God. And I hooked up with like the chick that did that did that and i'm like give it up for whole like ecosystem on a boat, huh? Where did that happen? to show off to his girlfriend and left everyone else. Don't be angry. that's what i wish my vocabulary was better but that's what those are the words going through my

42:52 Yeah, yeah. What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to sit back with a cocktail and no one's going to bother me. And the women are crying, and everyone's emotional, Whoa. and she's jumping for it. I mean, they get wasted. They're just so excited to just fucking wash it away When, like, Yeah, to, like, He tried to swim 50 fucking miles. Could you imagine how bad of a feeling of, oh, my, I fucked up, you would be if you were one

45:59 He said something to a girl. Yeah, it was his fault, but the guys just left him. If you can knock a guy out and you get to party on the boat that he used to be on but he's not on anymore because they pulled him off, there had to be more of that story. gigs like one week i got hired to do a uh a baby shower where i'm doing comedy during a baby To go on, just go out there,

47:43 Oh, my God. Oh, my god. And the father. So now I got to do. My friends are videotaping it. Are you really about to say that? Next thing I know, I'm roasting Went to go to a wedding wearing white shirts and white socks. Dude. All right. So that's edited. Yes. No one wants to hear about your sex life right so then i'm like oh it just gets then i gotta do 10 minutes after that and finally the guy about your sex life oh dude it was so awkward so i'm like want me to do clean jokes

51:39 So I was like, yeah. We want to hire a comedian where it was like Jesse Jane and some other girl, I mean, they were scissoring. so people are like what i'm like sir where are you from you know and they're playing music over me Absolutely. I remember that. No career. is the New York comedians but it's like Rich Voss Yeah, 3 o'clock in the morning, we would find some – I used to go to the comedy cellar.

54:46 And then Jim Norton goes, that I admire, man. I love that guy. That whole Opie and Anthony show is the best show on radio. He's so off the deep end crazy. Instead of just trying to be a comic, they're trying to be famous. I'm like, this is what you guys find funny? He was ahead of me a little bit by a few years. some comedy a bunch of times and i saw him and he made me laugh i thought he was funny like a couple

57:51 Especially the first guy I ever opened for on the road after that prom show, this guy Gemini. I'm like, oh, this is great. black puppet i'm like we're gonna fucking die like they're gonna kill him you know wow but it was oh, people that are watching this, he goes, Going, it's okay, I'm all right. It's all right, dude. completely Brian of how it really went down

1:00:08 It's also available online. Look at where we are. There's no fucking... You know what we were talking about too. I don't know. and it was, knows about something, it's never as good as if no It wasn't as crazy. You know, anytime that everyone knows about something, Everyone's all these, knows about, everybody's in bed by eight. are just on meth, at the vinyl at the hard rock cafe what night what thursday night what night is it what's the

1:02:31 We're going to have a bunch of girls. Ready to die of an MMA or MDMA. in Vegas? Is that what's going on? on joe rogan.net i have a message board on the message board shit talking 101 is one of the Like, how could you be complaining about something that you read on Shit Talking 101? He's funny, man. I mean, we didn't work there and he if the punchline now we did a college one time though at Penn State and

1:05:19 Did you ever do Big Fish? hey man meet me in england they have totally different meanings i know it was in england but right and it's all like laugh sort of you know like yeah way they'll laugh, sort of. A white crowd will try to be kind and work with you. You don't pull out of that fucking crash. So then Too Short goes on then there's no way i'm telling you like that is the craziest shit i have ever heard then he goes

1:07:39 What? The cops like, concert's over. If he actually got getting blown? That would have been sensational. I was like, I'm too dirty. other problems as well but there's a bit of a problem with you adam oh yeah i mean he's just If you want to get someone to blow you on stage, but those fat bitches pushed her out of the way. Yeah, that's pretty gangster.

1:10:16 Getting blown on stage? Blow jobs happen all the time at the comedy store on stage. That's how hard it is to pass there now? but, you know, it's part of the job. Have you ever seen slam poetry? That's cool at pool halls. I was like, he's a black guy. you know it's like it's a mindset man it's a mindset and it's you got to keep that mindset That's not sex.

1:13:01 So I was like – I was trying to be a good friend. I'm like, you know what? All right. Then I came out the next week But they're having more fun. Because they were having so much fun. No. became gay but it's it's one of the few names for someone that somehow or another they just about yourself don't use that term. Don't use that thinking. I'll say the gay pride parade and it doesn't offend people.

1:16:28 at a kid's show. It's not offensive. started doing it to when I first started doing it, it was like 2002 to what they tried to get us to do in 2011. i chose that i could actually watch and not feel like they're it's always like i feel like in Not that everyone laughed. They're like, fine. And that is a form of programming too. fake argument with a stupid fake wife and you're watching these two

1:19:49 trained to laugh at, which is bullshit. I work with some One day, I'm like, Callen, man, I didn't get Montreal. succeeding and that's the hardest part for me is to like actually do that yeah that's why we were i was just trying to be productive you know and concentrating on that instead of concentrating Congratulations. It's fucking incredible. I kind of get the MMA roasted bigger because I think it's like.

1:22:56 i know those make me laugh or even like like someone overrated posted the thread There was a picture of me at the weigh-ins. I've always been obsessed with it, with the sport of mixed martial arts. know that in less in 24 hours just a little bit more than 24 hours, actually, they're going to throw down. Everybody was thinking, Kane's just going to put that wrestling pace on you.

1:25:10 and they just both stood their ground like that, ready to fucking I was coming out like, Right, right, right. what's pass your guard? What are you talking about? with people that i never thought i'd be able to communicate with because they're actually It creates communities. Chris Hansen. Chris Hansen, how much fucked up shit did that guy say? Anytime you do a show where you go around busting people well um duncan interviewed the guy from

1:28:42 though he gets it right a lot a lot of fake shit on the internet. I'm going to keep putting them out there. I know. And I'm producing a pilot now. And there's no comedy shows. he's a comedian like Jim Rome type disrespectful ever well that's a sports guy thing a lot of those sports guys like to shit all over I get to like a Uriah Faber or Cain Vasquez or Johnny Hendricks.

1:31:19 be careful with this well because some of them are talented too they're tough They're tough as hell. Yeah, if you want to be on an Olympic team or some shit. placed All-American, went D3. That's all it is, you think? And I was like, well, if I'm not going to be the star. are doing sports that are very obscure and they have like inferiority complexes about

1:33:47 And then you don't wrestle anymore. it was the only time I ever felt like I was worth anything. Yeah. Like, holy fuck. situations. I know a lot of wrestlers sold all his brothers like 6'2", And then it was like, Um, But that, to me, when I used to go in the match at college, the 10 matches I had, the fucking guy and pussy of this guy again like because this fucker

1:36:37 They didn't make me do shit. I made myself. if I lost, Like while you were wrestling? We'd all cry when we lost and throw chairs and just curse out the other coach. And when they talked to you, it was yes, sir, no, sir. like they enforce this sort of code of conduct in your behavior, yes that other comic that's unfortunate you know the most unfortunate thing is what he said to you

1:38:52 you don't you think i find in life that i i think i have something under control i think i got it complete and total wreck with it just a gigantic laundry list of mistakes that Scenes in movies where the girls are really crazy drunk and Adam's sitting there shaking his head while fucking beer is flying in the air and plates are dropping. That's what that was.

1:40:44 She's definitely listening to this. Shit happens. They're like they're in another world. until I started taking, this Adderall problem is I mean Yeah, it wasn't – Well, that's the thing. I circled the blocks. And you could either go take psychotherapy or every day you could take a pill, and then I was like, I'll take a pill. And the Celexa – and it's helped because I mean I literally – I would like – like whatever you're not supposed to think about is like what you think of.

1:44:32 The human mind is so fucking fascinating, you know, that levels of this and that can change things for pro and con. like there's a lot of especially recently with the school shootings there's been a lot of the stories that you hear. There's a lot of, especially recently with the school shootings, I was always worried, like, You know those, like, commercials they have

1:46:07 The insurance – I forgot the name of the brand. Is it nature or nurture? think that everything's going to be fine but when you're a child and you realize well there's Well, you just needed acceptance. internally into positive like you had to play a sport you had to uh you know talk about your I'm like a punk kid. I'm like, I'm not going back to those fucking seminars

1:49:00 So I'm walking, 12 years old, 84 I forgot about that. Oh, really? That's the beauty of being a kid, but the hard part about being a parent is like no matter how successful you are, like if you don't give a shit about them, like they don't give a shit about you. and they fuck up, and they're a mess themselves, You see it from coaching, though. That's the hard part about these comedy shows on the cruises.

1:51:13 And then the kid's just dead in his tracks. Yeah, the parent heckles like, and we could have this discussion. They should be entertained. And it's just people fucking. You see like the hip hop club at night. you know they i mean is that cheating if you come while dancing no i don't think it is it's Thank you for having me on, man. You have this thing and then it's like, I never wanted to ask you for anything.

1:53:41 was you i would feel the exact same way about me i was like who is this annoying kid that's asking me these questions no this is all in your own head man there was none No, it doesn't stop. And then I'm up. When I'm up, you know, comedy is adrenaline. What happened to just melatonin? So I started taking the Ambien. And I was, like, literally, I had sex with my girlfriend one night.

1:55:37 I was like, the best I've ever been was on fucking Ambien. All of a sudden, I was like, hey, Tim Duffy, big fan. I was answering all my people that tweet me, One that lives on the East Coast. And then that starts taking over my entire day. before i go on vacation i have this wild crazy build-up where like i burn myself out physically You watch that?

1:58:06 Homeland's got my love. It's one of the best shows I've ever watched. Every time that show ends, I go, damn, that's a good show. Dexter's – I don't like Dexter anymore. gave up on dexter when uh the fuck is his name john john lithgow john lithgow choked that chick What, I'm just choking you and cutting your leg? And it made me angry. She went to Yale or something.

2:00:43 Because this... That's a good fucking show, man. Oh, you love it. He's an interesting cat. because I went to an essay. We weren't officially together, but we were together. Right. Yeah, when she called. So I went to a meeting and – Those are the molesters. That was trying to figure it out. And then the cops come up and they see a dude with a wig. than guys, right?

2:04:12 Yeah. I know. girls you know but then I couldn't figure out. What part of Korea is that? And all of a sudden, heads come up like guacamole. So that's where they go to cheat on their wives and get hookers and drugs and drink. That's a good religion. They had moved into the whorehouse, right? Oh, no, you're not. It seems like that would be pretty cheap.

2:07:54 They're like, listen, this is a hooker place. I threw him on his head. He would close with peanut butter on his cock with the dog licking off. Why was he doing that? It was just giving me When the white man kicks a black man's ass in Africa. They steal your money? They were like, it costs $50 to come into this country, even though we already paid for the passports.

2:09:31 Didn't happen. and just hip toss him on his head. Then the soldiers had to break us up for fighting. We got broken up real quick. But that seems ridiculous. So the next thing I know, I'm thinking to myself, I'm in a bathroom in Djibouti, Africa, and I just got punched in the stomach. It didn't hurt. I would have to be like, how are you going to do this, man?

2:11:20 Don't say because then you could get sued. Those little shooting stars you see, what if one burnt out just as it hit you, Okay, listen. Before I Google it, yes? Yes. Does it happen? So this dude, he was killed... That is unbelievable. Didn't somebody get hit by lightning twice? They wouldn't tell you if a guy got killed by a meteor Make it funny. another planet, flew

2:13:41 instantly. Damn. and then went through the ground. Right armpit to left hip Oh, here's another one. I wonder, has God killed any of your children with meteorites? Yeah, there's a website. One of them was reported in China in 1490. It apparently exploded on impact. Tunguska. when we started really writing these things down And you just go, whoa. What the fuck?

2:18:22 because they're all black and white because it's the 1920s. like matchsticks. The entire Boom! That motherfucker got lazy. I'm just wondering just get that fucking thought that we have could end like that I that with one chunk of rock from space. Probably not because I wouldn't want to be a dick. If it's just you fixating on them, just use it as a focus exercise.

2:20:54 out of it. Unless there's something really funny about it. So it's positive. because occasionally you're mean and you have these mean thoughts and they're funny where it's just... No, he would never say that. But I know what you're saying. You have to. Like there's some – just too many holes in this idea of using this. Well, the hard part this idea. Well, the hard part for me sometimes is when – let's take MMA for an example.

2:23:55 It's on MMA Weekly, MMA Junkie. But there's only so many times you can do that. I wrote Joe Rogan's head just exploded during the break. But a drink would also get me riled up in a bad way. She took a line of coke off my tits. Let her snort coke off your dick. And another chick was like blowing me, and the girl was blowing me. Yeah. Shooting loads.

2:26:48 for during the AVNs. I'll see how we do it, but I'm trying to work out some new shit, yo. Young comedians, if there's any fucking advice that anybody should ever give you, it's the advice that you got. retweet your shit because then you'd be fucking adam comedian mma roasting yeah terrible two of Again, that's i will eventually get once i get some time on my hands i'm gonna pick up one of those i can't live

2:29:26 Trying to figure out when to fit him in, Bye. Thank you.