Joe Rogan Experience #329 — Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan. We love you. Duncan Truss is here. And it said something about surviving cancer. You extend the amount of time that you're sentient. You extend the amount of time that you're sentient. The whole surviving cancer thing is a – it's an annoying term to like now I'm a cancer survivor. It's such a dire term. It's such a dire term. I'm a cancer survivor.

3:01 Who's the first sick fuck that figured out a cock ring? I didn't know about that trick. Come on. Yeah. How do they feel about dating you? Lucky girl. fucking freaks that's the universe trying to kill you. That's great. So it's kind of like a Wii Fit for your vagina. It would clamp down on this. like a ponytail. my pussy strong in this incarnation well i've been doing it with what is it what if it was

7:06 Why wouldn't you want to have a super pussy? I think you should do it if you're drawn towards that. Yeah, like you could grow your dick and pull it up. I think we can even show it on Ustream Ustream won't let you show this? it happened to me already a few times. Just go to your Twitter page. I think you're taking a crazy gamble with these fucking 7-Eleven drugstores.

9:50 of generic Cialis and generic Viagra. ferris said oh i know tim ferris who's a brilliant guy has a great quote and the quote is he doesn't But I mean, what could it be? That your dick Yeah, dude, you just went Def Leppard on us. but it shuts off is uh i don't know what's the studies on on taking that that stuff you gave me brian those boner pills And these things make you –

12:21 But those pills you gave me – ants. I know. Ant boners. But that's what they would say if they were totally bullshitting There's not a man in this fucking thing. Sure. Like literally. But if it doesn't kill you, your dick is done. But Jesus Christ, that's a scary fucking animal. And apparently that's connected to nitric oxide. I think you can't be on.

16:01 It's like – because ProVigil, Adderall, these are modern, this is speed. Wow. I've never done Adderall, but what alpha brain does for me, it never makes me feel It's like I don't know how to guarantee a dream. I was standing in this primordial garden and there was like fucking all these weird like silvery golden apples floating up in the trees. I didn't even know there was a girl pill.

18:26 It's made entirely of wandering spiders. No, it's because this building makes you have a big giant dick. belt and then sometimes i forget about it too long and it hurts so you're like stretching your dick You can get a broken dick. Have you sprained your dick from having, like I sprained my dick recently where it hurt She fell on it wrong. Do you – are you not a horny sex maniac?

21:21 your head and what, but when it comes to fucking and jumping into this And so you just get this middle thing. When you watch porn, you don't see the beginning. like there's a lot of pitfalls there and a lot of weird dangers. That moment when you're at your deathbed or you're in the car, you're sitting in the car, wherever the fuck you are. That's not that bad.

24:27 If you were actually being confronted by demons, over and over again and they put you back together again for eternity well see this is the funny being so in a real torture chamber your means of torture are not going to be so obvious as like three hour commutes you know what i mean that's hell you don't even know you're there you don't a bad circumstance, bad luck,

27:24 know i mean there's i'm sure like stock market along those lines, like anything financial, there's probably is just buttoned up and locked down yeah yeah man that's definitely one version of when you hear turned his back on theosophy and said, it's, that's not that, you know, it's more, he got know why this always happens to me. people listening to this have a shit boss shit wife shit girlfriend shit husband shit whatever

30:39 Like the idea that anybody had a handle on how to do this right. And no one knows how to run it now no one knows how to figure this out no one knows lives. A species as or economic problem. Now, why the fuck would we not be doing the obvious thing, which would be in this situation, if the first thing you would do is figure out, okay, let's come up with a foolproof way to control meteors.

33:22 Well, this is the whole thing where they say like one month of – we stopped one month of war in Afghanistan. guaranteed going to smash into your life at some point which is old age disease and death there's Just find out what the yearly military budget is, i think that school should be free i think we should be paying for for whatever it is college

35:23 I mean that's the thing. jesus dude you're john lennon don't hate don't hate don't hate that sweet yl please we've shown But back then, wasn't Asians more rare? It's like, who the fuck are they? says that you know i think i've been around before i think i've had many lives no one ever goes i Yeah. you know partially scottish and there's some native american in there it'd be so cool to like

38:20 So there's a disclaimer before I talk i i talk about it but they were talking To take into account everything that exists today and use it in a numerical equation that will show everything that ever existed and every action and interaction that ever took place in the past in order to get to that position so yeah well you say it doesn't seem possible but i well your fart theory comes in effect how do we

40:51 So essentially you can have a data bank of cameras with dust. account of what we've got around us well if they can get to a point where they can literally tell you everything that exists Yes, but you know what that is you just described? based on like, well, if this happened before this, That's actually kind of a good point. has been around for 150 years and before that it was pastures and they actually have photos of it

44:03 And the idea that they could, you know, you also have somehow the ability looking at? It's just like that'd be way blurrier that's so true man that's a funny thing you're saying that's like an Human existence is mostly just a blur. It's been shown to be wrong. what the fuck you're seeing what you remember you know i think a lot of these like uh bigfoot

46:54 Yay, Columbus. video in my mind of a baby getting waterboarded it would just be it wouldn't be so exciting i If you could interrogate babies and find out what happened before they were born, I think it would be worth a try. It's like a Geneva flea market now. When someone's doing something bad, they're going against the Geneva Convention. realistically wouldn't that be great wouldn't that just be fucking great that's what i love

49:32 would be beneficial to all including the people that are in power but if you hear that if you things are not the real names number two is when you say that this is this country well it is right patriotism type thing going on well america yeah fuck yeah yeah i mean that's legit it works it It was called the Christians and the Witches. You know what I mean?

51:40 I do love this country. Yeah. It's very common, though, on wheat. And they've gotten sick and they've had hallucinations. Let's take this shit to the next level. Usually there's just a bunch of horny, angry guys who want to fucking torture a bitch. weird shit that we don't really understand based on jupiter and like just strange fucking lupercalia 13th through 15th to avert evil spirits and purify the city releasing health

56:00 I think it was because it's two combating paradigms that didn't – that don't work together at all. He released a priest that had molested 200 deaf boys. I mean it's fucking craziness. And these guys are just wandering around taking care care of it for the rest of their life. That is fucking crazy. But you're talking crazy. guy who calls you know there's like in the way there's a pope there's also a dude who calls

59:41 people are really enacting the will of the people. think the will of the people is a that we want peace we want to be able to like we we do want security we want said they were asking her like you know do you think gay people can get married and she's like of misrepresentation coming from a small minority of people who've managed to grab power. And this

1:02:02 A lot of that is real. in this colony with that's those are all really super positive for the most part it's mixed in when you have regret when you're in that weird state of regret i'm very extreme with that Yes. And that's one of the weirdest things about being a human is we're all sort of figuring this out as this thing is in motion. And I always equate it to being like we woke up in the middle of a starship that's hurling towards a planet.

1:05:18 like these crazy quantum levels where they're coming up with quantum computing and they're pops you know when it like wakes up it's like a really beautiful thing to be a part of i love that No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Those were all people fucking like wild animals. a bachelor life Starbucks today. Kids. alone they fuck you know and who fucks more than catholic school girls you really think religion

1:08:56 So the conservatism that I think came in the 1950s, the fear, Like, we're losing all... frenzy to stop the drugs and to stop stop communism and to stop any hippie bullshit and and you know think you've kind of talked about it in your DMT trip story. picture that this small loop represents your reality and it's so important to you because small and infinitely big and it exists everywhere we look there's no ever we never found well this

1:12:43 honey or ants making an anthill and that all of our wackiness, whether it's ego or sexuality or the need that's how the movement represents itself. It represents itself through the fear We understand that this is nature. So we see it and we go, well, that's natural. Can I pee? I don't know about that. Yeah. Like we're going to get back to Santa Monica, bro.

1:16:09 a nice rack that girl you try to think of it yeah I've never seen little They had like a diluted form of it, which is still healthy. Because I'll drink a Diet Coke and feel like a loser. I don't know what the fuck they do. a lot of that shit yeah i don't think you should take a lot of aspartame yeah you know the linda's Because Stevia's a plant. the real problem with sugar is if you get it without all the other shit that

1:18:51 Well, even juices. as opposed to juicing like this guy the whole foods was talking to me about that like do you I got to piss. Hmm. Not sure. Blurry picture. I forgot to Dan Henderson. And he was like, where's the Ben Henderson? Hmm. Not sure. Blurry picture. Um, I forgot to ask him, but he was enormous. And now he's like It's nuts. But like a lot of nuts, he's nuts.

1:21:55 norton's there talking about trannies and you're like i'm one of the guys we're all one of the He could sing his fucking dick off, okay? He sings like a fucking – like as good as a professional famous singer can sing. It's his place. on the internet the other day and ladies hanging out on this cool set for Django. I'm going to get medieval on your ass.

1:24:31 He rapped. I wonder if she would fuck him. Then Jamie, my man. I know, he looks pissed. Wait, hold on, hold on. something that my ex-girlfriend would do just because she likes like kind of like trolling and he just doesn't even realize he's doing it. But you might be right. They ask him to write something yeah at the end they're like like it was way better

1:27:53 Only film. go watch a silent movie yeah that's where doug benson does all his uh movies where he watches So he watches a silent movie and then talks over it? You know, have you ever seen It's a fucking badass flick. It's so funny that you said it. Yeah, it's a great Nope. interesting tweets from jail it's really fascinating you talk about the the different

1:31:08 Because the whole idea, man, is subversion. You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots. And you've got Iceman and all his crew. Go for the gay way. All right, that is what's going on throughout that whole movie. Next scene. She is. They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, That's so great. wrote it that's a brilliant brilliant analysis what's that from it's hilarious uh Killing Zoe

1:34:12 I love that. Microsoft thing that they announced for it's supposedly for upcoming Xbox and So it's just like putting shit on the walls? Look at that. And so, like, it showed, like, pixels, so pixels were coming at you, Because it's like fully like, it's like apparently incredible. Like, put this on someone's head, and then, like, inside of, like, a train tunnel,

1:37:27 Looks pretty good to me. And actually look 180 degrees. Turn your body and look at me basically where I would be you feel like you're going to catch it And it's not as simple as just plugging it into a game because the size ratios are off in a game. work they would just be gone they'd be work forever work forever just to meet a deadline to get a game out.

1:39:24 What about these people who are gods creating virtual universes that you can run around inside of? Yeah, it's insane. I think they'll just create a warehouse. physical in a virtual reality sense unless you're dealing with some sort of recreated If you went to touch a tree and it wasn't there, You know? They just go with washable towels. inside your body

1:42:42 hours She was fine. Stop it. If you could come all day, you would come all day you would come all day if you could come with the same feeling the same like release that you do when you haven't jerked off for like a week you know that when you jerk off with like That would be crazy. I just backed up your toilet. Like based on the – maybe somebody out there on the internet can help us figure this out. But based on the size of individual sperm, how big would a giant have to be to shoot a load where you could see the sperm swimming inside of it?

1:45:02 How does that kill you? I don't even understand what you're saying. wonder like how many fucking people are taking it i think it's just like the science isn't look It's never been proven. Oh, yeah. I don't know what happened there. Yeah, I guess that's what it was. Remember, what's-his-face got busted? And when you watch it, it sort of inoculates you to insincerity because you get to look at it and go, oh, that's what it looks like.

1:47:57 It's beautiful. Poor silly bitch and then uh there was the other guy who said he saw a 900 foot jesus in the middle of the desert jesus I know you're talking. Yeah, don't put this fucking parody bullshit on Leadership addiction. I think that thing is real. like bullshit. Yeah, it seems like bullshit to everybody who hasn't experienced it. And when responsible for doing exactly man i mean that's the important thing the point that you're making

1:52:44 thing's never going to go away as long as you're living in space you're going to be terrified we're in a fucking If you plug into that underlying thing, fuck. I don't want to say don't listen to your parents run a pizza place you know i mean i've met guys there's a a deli that i go to all the time in If you want to really run a Starbucks or run a coffee shop or run a fucking jazz studio, who gives a shit?

1:55:51 If you really want to make whatever the fuck it is happen, I can still remember flash, you know, like when people say things to you sometimes and your brain goes and takes a picture. It's a terrifying fucking thing you know but and you know maybe making like You were original. You lose the frequency in life. happens that as long as you live your life the way we were talking earlier the right way without

1:58:26 I'm dealing with people and like being forgiving and being friendly. And then I have less shit on Am I holding myself back? Am I limiting myself with my diet? Am I limiting myself with my actions? It'll be me trying to duct tape this fucking ship together while it reenters orbit and fucking keep everything from falling apart. and it doesn't even necessarily mean you meant to.

2:00:46 You know, You faggot. Fucking queer. something every day that you hated and just fill your day with hate all day anger and hate you could just do that you could just do that but you only do and it's all hate you scan down and it's just one vile thing to as many it's like they've got a list way instead of concentrating on your own life like you have made it more important to do that

2:04:16 you want to have 50 but it's like when you go and look and like not only is the person just insulted read it and he's like uh damn i'm looking old and she she And everybody's like, oh, he viciously attacked her. Exactly. But that's not how they reported it. The moment that dum-dum responded to her, she must have done a fucking tap dance. I'm saying if no one was around.

2:07:01 I mean that has to be in her head. What do you do then? mouth he's saying he's gonna uh yeah he's gonna like jerk off on her and fart in her mouth and It was really fucking funny. You're a fucking loser. Neil Hamburger stirs them up every once in a while where he was getting attacked for a long time by Britney Spears fans. And he is just. to a giant magnet

2:09:52 Wow. Get your dick out, boys. Whoa. I guess my case had its limited number of appeals. Yeah, my mom's super sick. And yeah, folks in Columbus and Cincinnati, Sam Tripoli is going to take Duncan's place, the hilarious Sam Tripoli. You're one of my favorite people to talk to. And I love you. We all have for each other. Duncan Trussell. You dirty fucks.

2:13:13 Hover is... Yeah, I'm just looking for the hover.com forward slash Rogan. And they're owned by the same people that own the team. at the end of the month east coast New York anything you're not doing That was badass for sure. All right, you fucks. We will a lot of shit going on. North Carolina, thanks a lot. You guys are the shit. That was a lot of fun. All right, you fucks.

2:14:53 from Columbus. that's responsible and that we're constantly being contacted by alien life. What else, Duncan?