Joe Rogan Experience #34 — Doug Benson Transcript

Transcript

0:00 It came up twice. Doug Benson, everybody. It seems, you know, it's a very embarrassing thing to purchase. I mean, no one's fucked it. of research into it. It seems like it'd be awesome, but light arm workout, but here, take it back. It's childish. and you want to pretend... hey, I fucked this rubber pussy. or not. I had a lot of it's not going to come up in another.

3:06 Come on. you kind of have to talk about some stuff the office recreating awkward situations that happen every day than it is your one guy just like you don't have to just observe things. I get bored with it. But you're right. He was such a brilliant joke writer and deliverer in his style. Oh, He does such a good job of weaving that web. And subject matter.

6:35 shows like that are so important show you that there's like another level out there Yeah, it's always good to... because it just ups your game when you know what everybody else is doing. That's just too big of a task to full form. They just come to you out of the air. I want to try to address and then just see where it goes So, you know, I can be as high as I want to be, which is just, you know, it just all comes down to timing.

9:30 I know. I find myself almost feeling bad for what I'm subjecting the interviewer to sometimes so they can play some more Kesha. to, like I'm not ready So you think. This dude, I think. Well, no. I wouldn't want... to, you know, That's the ticket. Because I know that you, instead of writing it down, just talk, make a movie, do audio. It's a smart way to go.

11:58 There were like these little, what are those little long banana-shaped How do you describe that shape? He goes, they're really strong. should have been talking in public. That's a surreal it's different than what we're used to. Yeah. San Francisco Punchline doesn't have a curtain. anytime you have a bar because they're drunk me and Joey did this show

13:56 I said, okay, fine, fuck it. neck starts to kink up and so i said i'm not going to subject anybody this anymore yeah no it is i forever and he has bands come out and that crowd is is okay with it but i don't think my crowd i for two hours for once a year, but it's not the best And it's like a couch in the back where they or an airline tray and you just put they just put their nachos and their drinks on it and they

16:55 and i think the alcohol and the weed both hit you harder because of the altitude fuck yeah it does Like I was breathing heavy and sweating. When I lived in Colorado, my dog got eaten by a mountain lion. We started hiding weed at a comedy club Yeah. I like it dry. I just sort of did it because people suggested it or somebody said it somewhere, Yeah, but you buy it at a store.

19:09 That's what I like about smoking is that the people behind the counter They need Amazon reviews. I'm like, fuck yeah. I think they gave that job to somebody. a club and the guy wrote me a check and I went home gotten a check that says joe piscopo on it no tony danza jr um i signed credit well that's just a you can't say that to represent how you write it

21:07 because then you could get Yeah, that's what I do. Is this your signature? It's just printing it on everything. because I had copied over their signatures. an extra minute and i'm just like that's it you're not doing this anymore this drives me crazy it's so it's at least personalized, Yeah. I mean, you'd have to, I don't think, I mean, who has the kind of technology?

23:39 My signature, you can't read what it is. If someone was just watching the site and recording it, they could figure out the numbers easy and then jack you up around the corner and then use your card and take out whatever the maximum is. My fear is, you know, your iPhone's dead, then you don't have a ticket. But it's such a great thing to have a good camera.

25:13 you're at UFC fights every other week It's just like you can't believe it. It was like a scene in a movie I mean, it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life. is like them having to get out and get cuffed or something. They were already in a plastic car. and the you know keep your eyes up here, mister. But, you know, it's there for everybody.

27:23 It's awesome, though. It's just so liberal there, so open-minded. If you get pulled over for something else, I think. she goes, if you ever want to drive around without a seatbelt on, can pull you over for that and then get you out for other shit pull you over for glint dude yeah Really?