Joe Rogan Experience #389 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience fucker. What are you doing? We're doing it old school. Just me and Brian today. We were just sitting around and we decided to do a in this world. A lot of people are mad. because I don't believe what you believe? He's not creating enemies. Well, he's a bad motherfucker. of their point of view are a little wacky, youy. And when a guy like that comes along,

2:17 I don't know a goddamn thing. I'd be like, if I didn't know that it existed, if you said, listen, I'm thinking about taking down this building, Don't you use those? Use that thing. face that head on, One thing I always wonder, Joe, is you always seem to always have a slight conspiracy with a lot of things. And I still don't believe it to this day. It's not like they're mutually exclusive.

5:25 medicine. It's constantly getting better. It's like pretty measurable all the time. So the idea But I don't know. And it was awesome. Yeah, Brian O'Leary. They're very compelling. But don't you think that would be something where there's so many people the major, which is a fantastic quote, And in this book, he writes about the experience I fucking hate books. I don't read.

9:00 Why are you giving me books, son? It's great. Yeah. Yeah, just the constant eating of certain things that I know are not healthy. I don't think it's a fad. No. I just think we take in a lot of dairy, if you drink it raw, you don't really have and walked on the moon, beating by five months President Kennedy's goal and that them television fellers could make things look real that weren't.

12:28 Mr. President, please tell me about it. He said because if they really did pull it off and, you know, and go 250,000 miles and land on the moon you would be such a douchebag if you were saying that they didn't do it and Jesus Christ, what is his fucking name? And the report went bye-bye. because they did a little fuckery back then Yeah, but it's a publicity photo. Exactly.

15:05 If it wasn't actually released as an actual factual photo of space. Well, I'm going to be suspicious of you now because you're not totally on the up and up. and got Stanley Kubrick behind it and spent billions of dollars of black budget money and filmed it and then told the astronauts, listen, bitch, no one's going to believe you. I mean, we have to like borrow the Russians

17:04 like people don't go above 400 miles. loon that's still alive in the corner bullshit too that i'm not committed to one side or the other i'm being totally honest most likely Oh my God, the werewolves going into space. Is that it? It's kind of relaxing. It's like being in a atheists kind of throw aside. where everybody's going to be nice and it's unfortunate that it has to be done

20:47 in a higher power, but you're That might be fun. That's not not good you're not supposed to do that But the way to help them is not by belittling them. It's more by explaining to them, if possible, if they're open to it, to that is just like listening to people that are telling you that they're from another planet they're killing people in Syria and we're gonna go kill people for killing people and

23:26 How could you know what the fuck is next? You don't know. You fucking ADD'd out on me. and then while I'm going, That's right. It's fucking with your mind. No, apparently not. There has to be a link to cigarettes and breastfeeding. suckers or candy or gum if what probably happens is that somebody maybe deleted the tweet and then re your immune system,

26:41 Those are healthy bacteria. I could eat that shit all day. it it sort of deters the infection by other things that you might touch but that could be horseshit Because he smokes those things hilarious because I remember the day at I know, but he loves it now. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like, he has no problem, like, hanging out with people and talking to people after the shows.

29:41 Women's success also negatively impacts What I think it's implying is that a man wants girls that don't have jobs, you know, and 18, 19, but yeah. I kind of can see how for a lot of men that are insecure, Yeah, unless you're both. and then she darts off. alright, we're both chill with our, No, they actually fucked. Him and Matt Damon probably. Well, he's like, I gotta damn it. I can't take it. No, they actually fucked.

32:18 the results, because they kind of make sense. Or pool or a video game? Well, that's just, again, the people you're fucking hanging around with, son. It's really that simple. Yeah, you don't even work. hate work and life. And that's possible because somebody else has done it. it's pretty obvious to me that there's a lot of different ways that people can act.

35:30 just find something to do with your time. And then it becomes about doing that more than it instead of that, you've sold your life to sit in a box and work for a machine, That's the problem with our society. And every week we're trying to fill this hole anymore. All that other stuff is work. And most of us have committed to that. I know you've been

38:04 and the sun rising really slow. I think I did, This is what I'm doing. what the fuck to do he's like uh you know I gotta I gotta figure out another job so he started making loved as an illustrator. But, you know, I'm sure he'd much rather do what he wants to Yeah, he's very good. Sculptures? I was like, this is just some paint. it being worth thirty thousand dollars i don't get that this doesn't make any sense to me i see what

42:16 They have a nice farmhouse, really old school, religious family, and then they would have Yeah. That's the deal. If they don't have kids, of the design, there'd be tits everywhere. He's going to stick it in me and then another girl This is just too much. Like, seriously. and your walls are covered with tits. But everybody doesn't want, Pull your pants up.

45:02 But she had a lot of artist friends. And so she's like, do you want this? It's humongous. if I had to. the flashlight as a sponsor, Oh, yeah. to my house and stealing them. feeling about the show because I don't know. Yeah, imagine having Ashley Madison as a sponsor. That would be Ashley Madison is an interesting really weird communication through technology where you're going to have to you know have

48:27 You know what I mean? That's an option. you get access to my body to fix me. What's incredible is how close, at least in concept, it is to The Matrix. that haven't been there before. This is the sex scene. oh this is hilarious what year was this uh i would say something like 95 or something like that Oh. Yeah, that's what... of one weird sex scene.

52:04 Bill Burr rules. Do you watch that show? No, I do not.'t, too. That's badass. That's badass. Bill Burr rules. I'm just going to watch the whole thing. That's old Chaz Bono when he was fatter. I mean, that's pretty good. How crazy is that shit? That's crazy. bitch just pissing on chicks pregnancy tests all day that's her business 25 bucks a pop she's got

54:39 Actually, they might, right? where they're advertising these things I bet you could sell that for $25. test. I mean, what if it all works out? You're happy you got married. Then one day you're sitting I love you. out, especially if you have a thunderous Blows that sucker sideways. Oh, my God, you almost got me pregnant. a certain amount that are trying to talk you into it too,

57:59 You should marry her. Hey, It's rare that you do. People start getting mercenary about the house and it starts becoming a competition. Where you become 100% enemies. If you choose to not work and stay home That is the grossest shit ever. Taking a friend to court? wind up falling apart. It makes sense that a woman would want it Jesus Christ, avoid that.

1:02:07 You want to know someone truly and intimately, T-shirts stolen. Or do you want to have these fly-by-night 20-year-old crazy bitches I have always been one of those people that just likes it. If it goes bad. It's a real problem when you get really close to somebody like when I moved from New York, Right. was just a terrible mess like terrified about the future bummed out that this

1:05:20 I mean, I did it for, like, seven years. A year of my life probably. Yeah. And the day of graduation, she sat with his family. It's weird talking to that. That was 20hmm. But it's weird talking to that. Strange feeling. Of course it is a different person. you decide you are right now. It's whether or not you can maintain that, you know, whether or not

1:08:03 10, 15 years ago. I look at things totally differently. is that he's a pornographer, and no one wants to admit that. that's nasty? Please listen to you, you, put your, my pussy, fuck it. These people are like. You're getting a combination of good photographers and just guys that have cameras. I don't know. You look Just they have to be clear. It's a clear picture. We're good. I don't know.

1:09:53 to watching something sometimes she's one of my favorite female photographers for erotic she does a lot of Some of them. pretty good. But that's just like, four girls on there. I mean, there was bombing Syria. They have like that. Somebody was broadcasting it live I do not know exactly who did it. credit for but you know what he's so old that maybe he was just like how do I get

1:12:50 He knows what he wants to do. Look at that. Who did this? So I'm still yeah I mean then you know i shouldn't say you know anymore you know that yeah because it's another way of saying um that it was actually so long ago that he wrote this. And it's war is a racket. It's always been. It's possibly the oldest, easily the most profitable, surely the and you think, well, what has been done about stopping that type of behavior?

1:16:31 That's, god damn, that's so long ago. He comes out with this book before World War II. Ron Paul thinks that some, he thinks that it would be ridiculous You know, he said, I believe that it's a false flag. Life is fucking terrifying. Oh, my God. I know. Look at that. You're out there on the mountain overlooking the ocean. I would love to do it. Well, you should homeschool your kids, Joe.

1:20:12 And you're not even going to believe it's possible anything except meth at parties. I probably ran into people on meth. I just didn't know they were put it off guys like, Oh, I'll quit before that. I'll quit before that. But you're taking like It's pretty amazing I don't even want a regular cigarette. It is true. Yeah, it's probably an old guy that owns like a company versus a new, you know, somebody

1:22:42 It's like two packs of cigarettes, usually. Yeah. And he just sucks on that thing all the time. He's got stickers Yeah, well, it's also just a for, like, your synapses and shit. You're only supposed to have like one. It's not that bad for you. The burning it and chemicals, and those chemicals I believe you, but it doesn't make You get high as fuck.

1:25:04 It's not just to be stinky and to keep women away. Is that an odd thing? She takes your hat and puts it on. Very bad girl. Men are pretty much resigned to clothes. But if a man goes around with no sleeves but if a man goes around with no sleeves and a douche bag I fucking hate enough to handle it. You're not manly enough You know? this very, very, very large crocodile

1:27:39 And he'd head back to shore. You got to see the pictures of them. oh shit man 27 minutes ago there was a 6.5 it's so scary of where you anticipated it? These are fail-proof safes, That's what they have in All of them. they've shown an increase, a measurable increase in the radioactive qualities of fish. She couldn't even look at these news stories the old people built this country and we have to respect them and help them,

1:31:44 She's getting what we're going to get next year. One of the things they're talking about is building this gigantic $400 million ice wall. Oh, yeah, they've already got it. It says on the BBC, it says $470 million. It is a $320 million emergency plan about the height of the Lincoln Memorial. enough to kill a person after just four hours of exposure.

1:34:39 Wow. Texas. Yeah. Oh, you silly bitch. You don't think so? No. I think I could do the winter in Boulder. Denver food. We need to get as close to Alex Jones as possible, too. Yeah, people think that I don't like him because I goof on him. He's a great guy. They repainted the whole thing. Does he have the documents Alex Jones. Well, we could do that if we relocated to Texas.

1:37:56 And you're in a goddamn Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. with the Republican sayings When Mitt Romney was running for president, A lot of people are nice. Tennessee's nice. Louis Kentucky's nice, man. A lot of people are nice. But look, the reality is the world's changing. than they've ever been before. What the hell is her name? It was her. Was it after you first did right here?

1:40:09 That's October 18th. Do the comedy club. it's more fun tells you they miss you. It's not the same, dude. it's all about... It's a lot of days. Like, everything just gets so tight. With the stage, you're comfortable with the stage and stuff. When a crowd is literally 10 times larger than the average crowd, like a 3,000 seater, It's like a better experience.

1:43:28 I just think it feels better. When you're on a big stage, it's amazing how many people The entire club. Everybody who's there, you can see There's three rows, three levels, Yeah, I saw that, man. That's probably the problem. They bring me in for were saying that I am starting to look like you. they will change certain things, like their periods get in sync,

1:46:27 Allophrania. you know what, dude? And I'm worried about moving somewhere. You know how fucking crazy that would be if they have to evacuate the West Coast? This is the BBC. It just seems weird that the planet isn't for the planet, it ain't shit. It doesn't matter. and pulling out oil We could poison every person on this planet, and the Earth would eventually right itself,

1:49:17 You know, that's possible. It's not probable, but it's possible. It's also possible an asteroid can If there's a big rock coming, just open your window, stick your ass out, and take a shit. That'd be awesome if they I think if Japan needs to be evacuated, we have to evacuate California too, dude. No. Try living right outside of Juarez. the river, the Rio Grande.

1:51:31 They're going to shoot you. What is a jigger? like an old thing? is what it's saying. Fuck no. I will be up in Canada. So that's just as bad it's everything by the ocean. We pretty much have a slow-moving asteroid coming to us, Right now, there's people going, what you're doing is fear-mongering. There's going to be all these respect, respect like this is our country I'm going to

1:54:48 Nationalgeographic is saying that it's, ramifications of the ongoing crisis of Fukushima, frustratingly unclear. In some respects, it's not a 2011 earthquake and tsunami that caused one of the worst nuclear accidents in history. said in four hours you could die. Fuck, man. It's humid. Small club If you live in town To Japan But it seems to me that that is a risk

1:58:27 Hide inside of it. it creates some new reactor of its own deep in the bowels of the earth, if when they went bad, We need to definitely consider it. people that are not equipped to just pack up and move their stuff there's a lot of people you know Population of California. Says who? about Arizona Bay. 38 million folks. I don't even know if it should

2:01:43 when they're out there butt-fucking on a submergible boat. Whoa. Like a blueprint, thumbprint scan? Yeah, but it's no bigger. Huh September 10th? No. What, is it going to be another phone? Whoa. Samsung got them by the dick. The battery life for that Galaxy S4 is supposed to be very good. That's why the iPhone is perfect. I think it comes out real soon.

2:03:10 It's great. Oh, ready for this? Yeah, we have the new 4K TV here There's always a pre-order. What does it mean? It's a purple phone. I said you were sexy. Okay, let's see where the video HD. We can make videos for this TV. It's gonna be. It's gonna be on everybody apparently. Did you get rid of that thing yet? I don't want to bring her here. Saw Lenny at the pet store yesterday.

2:06:09 It was so adorable. and then other ones that we don't. what are those cats, the big giant real cats? That's where you want to go if you want to be close to the meth. I don't have it yet on Verizon. They're so happy about it. The battery life? The thing I like about the HTC One, first of all, is the way it looks. That speaker here. AT&T just cuts out everywhere.

2:08:56 bullshit on it. That's an unlocked phone. So that phone can go to any GSM provider. or the nice CDMA phones from Verizon or World phones. Like the iPhone's a No, but... Mini, I wonder This is, we found that this size is perfect. but without the sexy screen. And look, Kampawi. I can take pictures. Why don't you have two things something preposterous about scrolling side to side on an iPhone trying to look

2:11:51 It fits in your pocket a little bit. This is stupid compared to this. This is better. This one I like better. user interface of the iPhone is without a doubt the best experience. But this little tiny screen could suck it. All right? I'm talking. You don't know this one. I know. I'm going to try that. Well, listen, man. Speaking of art gallery. It is like something Yoko Ono would do.

2:13:53 Look at all the possible frames I have. Let you know, son. I hear me too much. You go, boy. appreciates criticism when they do podcasts or anything like that. A large percentage of it is by people that just have an opinion and their opinion is probably, you know, it's probably You have a better understanding of what you are or aren't doing. That's what I was going to say.

2:16:00 I don't know. in front of people What are you talking about? jump around well how about it when he did the john lennon sort of working class hero I really enjoy having him in here. He just blends in. That he doesn't require any special attention he just blends in I mean, there's something about ruining your life You guys know you're doing a podcast right now, right?

2:18:45 Well, he's being sponsored by Galaxy S4, Hey. It looks like an iPhone. you their phone to look at and then the paparazzi snap a shot real quick and I'm not sponsored by nobody. No, not wearing those glasses. gets me is low light conditions. they lose their ability to focus. The muscle doesn't It makes sense that your muscle would get tired of doing the same thing over and over

2:21:19 Jesus Christ. You know they're all going to jump on that gold, though. Like, one of the foreign MMA Drop your stupid gold iPhone in the toilet. Yeah, so now I might not even be using cases anymore because it's so sexy without the case. Except the plug. No. But if you want to charge it, it charges both the phone and the case with the mini USB or micro USB, whatever it is.

2:23:32 You don't have to use Windows. Yep, get out of my face. The NSA's going to have Where are my dick pictures going? anything along those lines. That's funny. Isn't that ridiculous? Wow. Yeah. that it's almost at 400. I can already do that. Yeah. Well, that and the fact that 90% of the people out here are trying to be somebody or something. to me is the desire for really unnecessary attention or undeserved attention, I should say,

2:26:59 They're interested in feeding the monster. They all had to form their own opinions of the world. want to see in yourself, correct that from yourself. It's like a long fucking process to making a good person. on, like a cool community, a community that has a good, like a good farmer's market, a community It's so hard. It's usually always like getting a new girlfriend.

2:30:03 There's something really selfish about that. get groceries or help. A fucking storm just planted itself over Denver or Boulder, Somebody posted something about the Galaxy Mega. That's for guys like Shaq. I don't text and drive, you fuckhead. Oh, it's great. Keyboard's great. As far as how much better with crazy new shit. which I think they're You just immediately go, they.

2:32:41 What's that? buy it, please. Thank you. Give us and he gets to fucking dive into this sea of beautiful prostitutes naked I go, what are you doing with that monstrosity? I got to, okay, here. Why can't they just copy Apple and then take the hit in court? Make it real simple like that. C for unrecognizable image of a camera, Yeah, look at this thing.

2:34:59 Yeah, and it just snaps onto your iPhone. It's never going to end. DSLRs for your iPhone. I think more interactions with your TV and phone and computer. Your brain's a hologram. and you're going to play it on the bed and shoot loads onto it. And that's one of the reasons why I didn't want to do those subjects in the first place. but I also learned about other people's

2:37:45 mean there's not some possibilities, especially for psychic powers, the ability to see. I've, I always leave the door open for a possibility someday. Yeah, especially since that person's in his basement doing it, Because it's just an idea. It's just about the idea. And when you start talking about that idea that we need to recognize. It's just about the idea.

2:39:39 fucking mad at you. And that was saying there's no aliens, but you best Don't get mad at me, bitch. guy. All right, you fucks. What else could I say? Love doesn't exist. Tell John McCain should be cool and interesting and fun Use the code word ROGAN you can take him home.