Joe Rogan Experience #391 — Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. No, but I need to. always it it happens where i'll have a case but there's always some necessity to take the case Never had a broken at least one. In that sense, the iPhone's the shit. There's a new Siri? Wow. I don't use the Twitter app. Yeah. I've been using it more. Who wants to do that? I ordered an Oculus Rift. in 3D space. Because I think if we could pull that off, it would be one of the most psychedelic,

4:37 podcast so that you could then look out at the crowd of like 30,000 50,000 avatars robots vampires unicorns whatever people decided to be with virtual reality it's the thing that people thought the future was going to be way back in Brian, people I know have put this thing on. It's basically like the new TV. a phone or a cell phone or something. Follow this. This is what happens.

6:39 and now you are in And then this combines with something called haptic technology, which is this. People aren't going to have treadmills in their house It's not just going to stop at, like, Borderlands or stop at World of Warcraft. I have people who come over and play Grand Theft Auto with me those... Grand Theft Auto uses a it's just a may it's a mayhem engine so like you end up like inevitably doing something that makes

9:47 Yeah! Why? like uh you know what are those those? What's the big one? Yeah. Besides actually going to war. universes that we're using technology to port ourselves into and what the is that that's because that's also what we did back in the day when we explored. It was, if you were Christopher of what Christopher Columbus and all in the world right now i mean they were, weren't they giving blankets with smallpox on it to Indians?

13:01 Yeah, that was most certainly done. Yeah. yeah listen this is crazy man documenting an eyewitness account of the spanish soldiers by bartholome de las casas in 1519, hoping for the Spanish I mean, this is insane. I mean, Columbus is an asshole. Chopping arms off. Because you don't have to actually see it take place. Who knows what kind of stuff. of the most insane things ever you know like the notion of uh even i think back then they didn't

17:42 That's one thing that it's going to do. Well, you know what the guy from the float lab has been doing? And the light emission is so low that you actually can't even see the television. but then the rift is not giving you floating. to this machine that interacts with you. but let's say it's over, A couple thousand probably. happen whether we want to or not well i see that's the thing i was thinking is like well

21:07 Because otherwise you just have this static thing we could be there in a couple of weeks. And it was incredible. What a weird muscle. We are moving in the direction of this happening and also moving in the direction of being able to do comedy shows from your house with this kind of technology. The Rift would not be necessary for people I believe, Wait till you see this.

24:07 So, see, but even as like, there's a weirdness to it. One day you're going to get a computer that's so smart And like, that's how you want to be greeted. See, that feeling of being on your knees and sucking a dick, Yeah, you don't need a robot today. So better off finding them than getting a robot is my point. It will if you're jizzing in it all the time.

26:15 Or not. Have you ever smelled Ketosis. get some really funky breath. I was still watching that Like, watch as it goes further, like three-quarters of the way in. Like, look at the difference, the variations in the light. oh i love it it's just normal i love it you can go to oculusriff.com and for 300 bucks Which is why I'm saying if we created, a way to merge those things together then we could do the first podcast as

29:20 How do you build it? The Rift can get into Second Life already. I saw that hand. This is nuts. Wow. This is going to be really incredible. And it won't just be games. You know, it could be like experience that POV of being in a wingsuit. Yeah. one of the um it's the emergence of the great uh techno jesus here that's what you're seeing the with this technology.

33:42 And it'll almost be like a call to abandon the material world yep of an apocalyptic sci-fi movie. But maybe not. is really going on while you're watching TV? You've given up all your movement You're just a and it will be your ability to manifest environments It's a little more difficult, and you have to sort of learn to be a reader. When you're watching TV, it's the same thing.

38:34 we're all crumbling and dissolving and if you think you are the thing that's dissolving and That's identification with the self and it causes a lot of problems. Not only that, but you really are that person in that world. You're not that guy. Right. It seems like he's been snorting meth. It was hot as fuck, though. Fucked up. It's called Soaring Over California.

42:27 It's called Soaring Over California. It's a massive, massive screen. thing and you're looking down it's amazing that is so cool it's it feels great it feels like you're hanging over this thing and you're looking down, it's amazing. So cool. That is so cool. this is going to free a lot of people from shitty existences, man. And that's something that's quite

44:17 to the point where people are going to abandon regular life. It's going to be more fat children. Why do we need them parading around in the national parks and the streets? It seems like the apocalypse to me. no buying things There's a great video or some kind of 3D printer that uses a metallic They just want their shit. There probably won't be TVs anymore.

46:48 and now you're existing in a virtual reality inside a video game, and then somebody opens the door. the shit's Oh, God. That's why I ate the Sure. Which world are we in? watched a nightmare at 20 000 feet and i watched um the second one that i don't remember the name It's like a time capsule. don't light that now wait till we get in the air and you're like what like that's normal

49:48 I mean, it's so bad, but it was awesome. It might be a gremlin. That is fucking scary. He's lifting up the ship. honey, I'm fine now. I'm not a It's so fun. It's's so fun it's such a fucking fun movie or uh hell Yeah. it's so strange when you think that that was what That's crazy. It's like so in the periphery somehow that people aren't aware of the rise of 3D printers.

53:18 whatever it was you wanted. pirates from pirating phones and pirates from pirating computers or whatever the thing is you that printing skin that's gonna be amazing well they're going to combine skin with spider silk. They've already begun work on trying to combine human skin with spider silk, You'll be just perfect. Well, then they'll figure out how to make it so it does sweat.

55:53 And all they have to do is just jump on top of you Aren't spiders like a million and oh? land in your shit all the time it's a problem yeah but the birds probably can get free or people and bit off more than he can chew. just what they announced. Ah! But whatever. Flossy. It's pretty badass the new one It's not going through the soundboard It've been playing videos on youtube it's not

58:33 everybody just takes naps. I wouldn't even necessarily say that anybody from Apple actually talks like that. You're just hearing rumors. With a 64-bit processor and a phone, I just want a bigger screen. because how big do you want the images? Yeah, but they're big sizes. A lot of these guys have 32. Come on, Tim, get it. Less than that? Yes. but you could bump it up

1:01:36 there was a big void They don't. point in time, they were in hard times, and they were What? Right. I can't remember the name of it. This will play game. I put you on. That would be such a great service, man. like what this Eric Holder cat is saying about marijuana now, lot of veterans are finding great relief with MDMA. But yeah, Ld for alcoholism

1:05:22 did strategically. If his real goal was to stop chemical weapons attacks Wow. with his evil fucking face. dogs. Give them fucking rabies. Don't forget the disease. More pixels? I need to see... It confuses me. He sounded like he was talking about real life. No. Playing against another person is what's fun. It's just so high-tech and wild. The end of the world, all these things have changed everything.

1:09:05 and Nagasaki. End of the world. inevitably. Now, we might be able to There's Kevin Rose throwing a fucking raccoon. That's a guy who loves his fucking animal. Okay. Ugh. Yeah. He'd been asked to move out of the house he was living in into an apartment. You're 107. And then three hours later, SWAT team stormed his room. That sucks. It does suck. lot of people who are old that are delirious.

1:12:22 leaving my nest. And it's... Yeah. What we need is sluts, not nukes. I'm trying to find it really quick so I can give you the lowdown. Itself and are what gonorrhea uses to move itself or pull other organisms. Jesus Christ. Yeah, it's over here now. This is a serious one. No let's not say her name It's just someone he admires her very deeply Doesn't matter.

1:15:22 their AIDS tests. Hey, I'm clean. Were they porn guys? You don't know, man. But it's not like MRSA. It's M-E-R-S, like SARS. i don't know what it means i don't know what mers means it's it's but it's not like mersa it's a m-e-r-s like sars like i don't know what it stands for I thought it was always like green shit jerking off your pussy. This Saudi Arabia thing, this MERS thing, is apparently incredibly deadly.

1:17:41 This is a September article. But the way they were describing it to me, like, we can never win this. The plague, the black plague. And that's why, you know, like the whole anti-vaccine thing is a very tricky thing. Absolutely. Yeah. someone's going to die in this place. many kids have died from bikes think of trampolines you could probably fill a hundred graveyards with the corpses of kids killed on

1:20:45 That's why cigarettes are still legal. But when we were off camera, I asked him about what he thinks about people who And when you go into the numbers, that's when you go, oh, wow, $2 billion was paid out in vaccine court. many many cases that's where it's kind of crazy it's like this is the vaccine court awarded money People who had a very specific gene or a tendency were the ones who wound up testing positive for it.

1:23:35 Most vaccines are very safe. it's kind of weird, man. with encephalop... encephalopi? can cause or contribute really scared. And that's what your point Let's ask. 5,000 families of children diagnosed with autism have claims for compensation. I drank a jug. Me and Tony Hinchcliffe are going to be in Phoenix, Arizona, Yeah, it's going to be weird seeing...

1:26:44 They're two, and they know how to record programs? They're just sitting. And it's like, they're two and they know how to record programs sitting there flip. you know, I got this. Because it seems like nowadays that everything's on your iPads. And people don't think about that when they, like, homeschool their kids. man. You need to learn what the fuck's out there. You need to be around crazy dudes. You need to be

1:28:50 they're somewhere in a, or the acceptance and the addiction of a relationship, Some places public schools are bad. I still remember the stink of the cafeteria. cheeseburgers that seemed like they were all punched out in one cube. Oh, I don't remember. have to get the E cards, you know, And I agree with you, man. school there was still corporal punishment kids would get paddled in the hallway i remember that

1:31:52 We like pushed each other around or something like that. weird fucking vehicles it's it's not the you know i think it's necessary for people to be around I had a friend, Eric Norman, and he was always getting into trouble. was really disgusting kids were always puking remember that man that was a big part of public When I was in high school, if someone threw up in the hallway,

1:33:56 I don't remember what they told us it 50s it became under god during the commie scare. It used to be one nation indivisible with liberty and justice for all. comes here he's above us well he did it once and we didn't listen. That was because of two people. We'd be happy No, I was doing deep-throating the snake. That's what it's talking about. as a self you know that's when you start like paying it you're paying attention to yourself

1:37:05 It could be. to wake up or to evolve. I think it's a primitive story, but I think symbolically. I think it's, you know, mythology has got a lot... You know, and people have always been smart. we were talking about watching The Twilight Zone from 1963 puts you in that time. And as is any biblical work, any religious text. If you look at cuneiform and those ancient Sumerian tablets.

1:39:29 the nails they don't look like the nails that we have today because they were all like handmade Yeah, that's nuts. What was that life like? deficiencies what were their brains like well they're saying that our brains are actually shrinking gone pc i'm born again pc doesn't like apple brothers no it's not i don't like apple it's No. Flash has crashed.

1:42:21 It's just Flash itself. virus. Wait until you get your first I got some kind of thing. but guess what? What if you're writing something brilliant and it gets eaten up? It's me dumbly staring into the computer. So many levels. I'll never play again. He acted like he hadn't played StarCraft, I destroyed him and humiliated him. That's when you're really a loser.

1:45:10 That'd be fun. Those guys are going to get hurt. Oh, God. Have you ever heard PJ cough? You guys are going to start cruising. I didn't even want to talk about that Don't even talk about that I'll have to talk to Russell fighting somebody. Doesn't he already have a problem unfortunate um disability so if he wants to fight he he should be allowed to fight. It's kind of empowering in a weird way, though I wouldn't want to watch it.

1:47:29 But I wouldn't want to tell. He's fine. That's like the whole idea of combat sports, whether it's boxing or something, is being able to move your body correctly. That means nothing. It happens. and fall and bang your head off the ground and die. And they found a bunch of things doing that. commissions have found during their examinations they found like like blood

1:49:50 I had a roommate once whose brother went to jail because he punched a guy in front of a bar, Did you see that fight video where the guy actually knocks a guy down, There's so many times where guys got knocked out in these videos and then people just take shots at them while they're out cold. Stomp kick punch. I mean, it's horrific shit, man that someone would be doing

1:52:07 You got knocked the fuck out. experienced it they don't even know humanity they know a hard scrabble world of fucked up people People have a vengeance ethic where, you know that thing where you get in an argument with somebody? Oh, I've had huge problems with that in my life. violence at a moment's notice knowing if it's coming if something happens i gotta be ready

1:54:54 So if I felt like it was a competition, any kind of competition, any sort of social competition, I was like, fuck you. Nothing wrong with winning. If someone, look, I have been, I'm the last person to talk about talking shit to people. But what I try to do always like in a comedy show. If someone heckles, I'll say something fucked up. But I'm It doesn't mean you're a mean guy.

1:56:48 you lost. you know, and you know, like sometimes you're sitting next to somebody and you can tell they have some, But you're looking at someone who's like, that's just one little piece of the puzzle for them. Yeah, and I could see, oh, this used to be a very sweet, nice person. instead of getting a reward for it, she got hurt. Whatever it was that happened during the course

1:59:34 And what she was complaining about, she goes, See, that is the great fallacy of being a good person, is the moment you start being Why didn't God reward me? Job, for those of you who don't know, summary of the book of Job, Job is like this great servant of God. This is like the God that made tigers and cyclones and tornadoes. What the fuck do you think? You

2:01:59 I decided to spray you with Windex. you start doing things for people you're not doing them with some expectation of a return well isn't Gypsies don't like that. And then one time my friend Brian, who was pretty much a hothead, but he was right. And then I realized, I was like, wow. He's always like penny pinching. That's not cheap. Except bisexuals.

2:04:51 Have you rewatched Jew Clam lately? He'll just show you his butthole. Well, you know what? Lies. Yeah, they're funny. No. I never say that word. I only read it. I mean Old Testament old. there in black and white sure oh do they really they say that that's what they say hey biblical Let's hear Mr. Rosenberg says this could be the one. Sure. It says that people will flee, but there will still be people in Damascus when the prophecy happens.

2:09:05 and for whatever reason, Russia and China decide to retaliate. let's just let the conflagration happen I mean, it is kind of fucked up. every that's where the knot is tightening every single day. And ironically, that's where it all started. Yeah, man. Neil deGrasse Tyson. fuck i have no idea man i don't take a guess i don't want to know this is like satanic prices

2:12:37 Yeah, yeah. four times the amount 800. Man. and recognizing that no one on the planet wants the war to happen, You know, we're going to just take their chemical weapons away. be if you don't say that brian no you don't know shit you're gonna get us in trouble stop it can I just said it. Stop arresting gays, Mr. Putin. I just don't understand how it was all just so black and white.

2:16:22 History is going to look back It's 0% of the public thinks we should do it. second term of this supposed liberal and ordering drone strikes like crazy threatening military But if you do pay attention to history, it's happened. united states to attack and unleash hell on assad well yeah that's a logical decision to make and So I don't know why suddenly he's like, yeah, release the gas,

2:19:14 There was this, I can't remember, it wasn't on CNN. I heard about that. talking about bugs these are fucking thugs man they're they're talking about evaporating human Oh, hell yeah. Tonight I want to talk to you about Syria. The situation profoundly changed, though, on August 21st, when Assad's government gassed to death over a thousand people, including hundreds of children.

2:22:33 Are you an actor? In World War II, the Nazis used gas to inflict the horror of the Holocaust. What about the 98% civilian rate your drones have killed? cell phone pictures and social media accounts from the attack and humanitarian organizations told stories of hospitals packed with people who had symptoms of poison gas. but just imagine all the conflict

2:24:32 I want to hear what he says. They depend upon the world to look the other way until those horrifying pictures fade from memory They don't kill any kids. about acquiring poison gas and using them. You fucking liberal pussy! I'm sure that shit's going to take a long-ass time, and then it's going to freak everybody out, Iraq. But yeah, and again, yeah, it is the hypocrisy that it's okay to kill people with fire. It's not

2:27:16 How about Syrian rebels hit People are all street and this bomb. People back to work, educating our kids. Oh, our kids. But I have to kill. have... Okay, yeah, this is the one. man. That was worth 90% of your butthole jokes. Oh, no point. We learned from Iraq that doing so makes us responsible for all that comes next. is in line with threats that we face

2:30:21 unconscious guy in the face. in a more chaotic Syria freedom. hellfire missiles. Syrian soldiers hit Syrian rebels by street crossing. This is the video. They pull up in a pickup truck These are, whose side are we on here? They're trying to move. Oh, sorry. Look they sort of realize it's happening Those guys are lucky. That was like being killed Let's hear it. He's about to wrap it up.

2:34:30 Okay, let's stop. And it was so corny. The good guys, bad guys. What I really love is they try to give the illusion that there's such a thing as a safe war. And it's the same kind of retaliation. That's scary to think about, man. You are doing something wrong. Oh, my God. He walks back. where Dick Cheney was hiding Yeah, it's Batman's lair. think is a sign of the right kind of thinking. I think the right kind of thinking is there's a

2:38:27 and it's so so incredible to be alive in this time but yet the same old stupid shit is going on It's like a serial killer judging another serial killer. Go see Duncan. me, Tony, Tom Segura and wrong with Podfest, but I can't. I got too much shit to do. And I'm going to see Honey Honey that night. I have anything wrong with Podfest but I can't if you're Podfesting

2:40:00 to add a second show So I'll see about doing another one if at all possible. Ontario is fucking awesome. And we'll be back on Thursday with the lovely and talented David Cho all up in this bitch. Go get your head right, son. Do some brain exercises so you don't talk like we do. All right.com. Dot com. Lumosity. Lumosity.com. Go get your head right, son.