Joe Rogan Experience #397 — Josh Barnett Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. But otherwise, like bumblebees, most bees, besides like African killer bees, as far as I know, most bees are not aggressive. They're not comfortable paralyze it, That's gangster. Like tarantulas never beat wasps, apparently. these giant wasps. It'll tell you the exact numbers I mean, I don't know what they're doing. sons of guns. They look like a cartoon.

2:28 There is no retreat in these things, obviously. doesn't favor the weak. Essentially, nature is usually a fairly balanced system, but it can become unbalanced easily upon its own self. that they could just swarm a person 30. Do you believe in the whole honeybee thing? where you can sit I mean, it's almost within a hundred years We covered people with honeybees.

5:07 places, occasionally they interact with the locals. So this huge cloud of honeybees that we're using, By the time it was done, they were SAG eligible, though. einstein quote supposedly where he says that if you eliminated bees from the planet, The other two times I have actually been on the show, Exactly. named so aptly. Could you imagine together. Yeah, something like that.

7:37 Oh, yeah, cool, buddy. none of them are just like people got sick And I opened up the Word file without running a scan on it. cure yeah it's in trial right now. Yeah, herpes virus cleared from the blood for the first time. is carried by about 70% of people. And you could get shingles later on in life, potentially. Yeah, that's not good. at any point in your life it could just pop up and uh it it clusters i guess around uh where nerve

11:06 Was he a grappler? I've got staff before, and I've gotten ringworm before. And so he had these giant patches of it. Second of all, you're doing something to your ringworm. and having ringworm treatment as being one of the uses. called Defense Soap that's really good. those hooks just will scrape the shit Really fast. They live in this shitty water.

13:35 of the water buffalo. They open their mouth up and they have these just webs of saliva It looked like an alien dropping mucus everywhere. This is good news about herpes. because if you catch chicken pox when you're older, it can be lethal or cause a lot of difficulty for older people. You know, there's Middle East Respiratory Virus. That's terrible.

15:36 What's the root of it? Some sort of chemical interaction between the ink on all these $100 bills. also like beat out all the other arabic countries and negotiation over getting this virus Every day, every minute, every second, Mother Nature is having viruses interact and splice and evolve. Who do you think is going to die first, the vegans? They're hiding pepperonis, folks.

18:47 But I think it is because these chicks, they go and they're like, I think it's more of an ideology thing, like you're trying to be a kind person. Often. it's based on the fact that I've done it in the past. would want to change his position. and I know the white knight. They have no real foundation at which to base their arguments, to really put their faith in, so to speak.

21:40 It's incredibly hard. Chasing after food all the time is a brutal life. So they figured out how to keep animals close by. Because civilization had been paved. idea that one nick from any One of Brian Callen's friends, during the process And it's not as simple as not eating meat. a long time ago as a kid like she just couldn't wrap her head around the idea of of killing an

24:50 raises them but at the same time my whole argument is always animals don't give a shit whether you Animals, if it's just everyone's just sitting around you know a cow could just for no reason no Yellowstone or something like that It's their instinct to do so. I think the idea of supporting animals over people is absurd. You need to change the way you get people food.

26:55 It's not a bad idea to love nature, but it's a bad idea to not respect the actual balance bullshit into their face. would be less toxic like what you think your broccoli shits are any particularly helpful, if at all, quality of food you eat. person and you love animals. I get it. I've met hold court over jaguars running through your streets. They drag them off.

30:08 in a comic strip. mountain lion. I guess it's been in Griffith Park and it's been coming down. And they keep tabs on them so they know what's dying from natural predation, how many are actually just being born and surviving, Yeah, it's really well regulated and they're really good at managing the resource of the kind of shit. And the people that are in the fish and game department

32:13 Huge. regardless of the fact that I want to, you know, bag a deer and bring that, you know, the whole process of being able to actually land and hunt and find the deer and score it and everything that comes after that. Well, the argument would be, aren't we evolving past that eventually? and then drag her by her hair. So, I want you to creep around the outside

34:45 somebody else thinks that is the highlight of their entire life. Or throwing cream pies full of feces at each other. As long as you don't throw it at me, we're cool. Yes, that's the cause and effect thing. yeah that's not cool yeah But I get what these people I don't know if you can give them birth control. Well, have you ever seen what happens when towns don't allow anybody to kill animals?

36:56 These people are driving around, and there's just deer everywhere. packed full of these freaking monkeys oh, deer. That's what happens when you... No, that's not it, Everywhere you go, there's deer. Yeah. And has horns. Actually, maybe I would want to fight it. A 60-pounder, I'm 100%. Oh, I've heard some of it. And she scored at a draw, and then she vanished.

39:32 Yes. And then this lady comes along and judges it a draw. I don't know. But, either you're Okay, let's do it. This is, you know, boxing is already under plight by a lot of, like, neuroscientists and as is MMA and as is football. the next thing is going to happen from here on and from here on and all the time I put into the gym You go out there, take this guy out, smear him all over the mat, and then nobody can take that from you.

42:46 People are bound to make errors, and this much I understand. And they gave it to the Korean. to 1. It was a joke. Towards Koreans They have a lot of The guy's holding up with that punch? They robbed him. of all time. I mean, Roy Jones really just boxed the shit out of this dude. not just for the athletes, and yet you do nothing, or New York or whatever,

46:03 able to judge or to be inside who's going to be the lucky judge for the Chris Weidman? Do you think they could be as Him and Big John, that's the gold standard. Oh, yes. Yeah. That's electricity. Good idea. We got a real spill while I was spinning around John Jones and Gustafson. The different kind of slot, buddy. 100%. I think I could do a pretty good job of judging while I'm commentating, but not 100%.

49:19 but I could see it argued. stood there, would Condit have been forced to come to him? You could argue that it actually Condit. Argue that Diaz is the aggressor and that Diaz is taking the fight to him. Yes, if it's that much. punch and and and run and try to get off four four strikes and i get off zero instead of you know You can look at a fight like Diaz-Conda, and although although I thought the decision was good I thought it was a very close fight and I

52:13 But at the same time, I could have seen it a draw. So that could even be arguably a draw round and then give Jones the last two. And I also took that into play when I watched. Yeah. just, you know, they're just fatigued to all get out. And I can agree with the idea of you've got to beat the champ, you've got to take it away quit, essentially. You really think so?

53:44 And that's why I have so many finishes on my record, recover, Jones recovers, you know, he gets to him and he remembers, oh, okay, I was in a really bad he's just on on autopilot so you think he just hit that wall adversity that where a lot of people Like, if you happen to really pour it on and crank him, and really cranked him hard with something good,

56:03 And if he had scored with that left one he and if he was had he'd That was very surprising. threw a lot of side kicks, and that spinning elbow as well. where Jones is still engaging and looking for openings. on gusafson's aspect he getting hit for him did not make him, he just stayed in the pocket and kept throwing back until he didn't like his range.

58:32 So you think it was a conditioning thing with Gustafsson or maybe an experience thing? wrestling in terms of his his his muscle endurance but uh Well, both of them do, really. Oh, well, I did this this one time. I would have just told Nike, to hell with you, man. And I'm amazed. Where most people would have given in, he did not. like it was a really close fight. I'm glad I didn't

1:01:07 The rematch might be the biggest fight in MMA history. That was a crazy five-round war. Oh, yeah. He's tough as shit. when you're fighting a guy and you're striking with I'm not saying he's afraid of getting hit, where they ate 16 of them and hit you with one. I've taken the biggest straight-up shots from the hardest hitters in the world I think if you juggle eight or nine different women

1:04:13 like picking up a musical instrument and trying to learn it or anything that is is different it's a And I think that it's something that people should apply, whether they're professional athletes and getting hit in the head all the time or just a regular Joe Schmo going to work every day and has his family and his house and his bills That's a good move.

1:05:55 out that part of your brain. Really? So I hear. You have to let it happen. But at the same time, you still can't attack acting. not introspective. And so they suck at acting because they really don't even know how it's You know, like one out of six. Yeah, a woman in Utah pled guilty to Elpaca that's what happens and so they're going to put her in jail for two months.

1:08:53 And he gets no money back. She finally admitted it one day. She was really sorry, but the guy would have been in jail the entire time How could you just lock him up in jail based on what evidence? Maybe the dude, like, is really shifty when he comes in there. Yeah, that's the rapist car I've ever seen. I don't know. You must feel so devastated by life.

1:11:00 I changed my age of a lady that I would maul. She's looking that good still, huh? Raquel Welch stuns at pre-Emmy party in leopard print dress. Wow, no way. What's her old body? Back up. You don't have that photo? No, look, she's still 73 years old. Hunter S. Thompson shot himself in the head at 67. fucking keeping it together. You would hit that, huh?

1:13:29 from a male perspective, that's a good start, And then like if you stare at them too close I think it's arguably so, yeah. What are you going to do, bitch? He's just like real Bigfoot. Are we talking about a game now? For Quake, are they going to come along? I think I saw the head of their union driving down Ventura getting here. Yes, that's what got me started back into it. I started playing magic when it first came out back in the day going to role-playing

1:16:25 will you teach me how? and then I start getting sucked just like even, you know, I'm not like a big poker guy, come flying across and maul you. It's got all this crazy stuff. That sounds cool. It's a proclamation. I'm done justifying Is that your Magic the Gathering crew? I just like to be around pretty girls. I just want to be really friendly and funny.

1:18:42 It's no big deal. if it had a bunch in Normandy Yeah, well, when you see it from the air, there's several photographs. They're rocks. Back where you were. Oh, those? God, that's all probably remnants of war, right? if you scroll down brian there's some better images look at that i mean it's it's immense I mean, what do they even do with the bodies?

1:21:20 That's a real good question because I know that's the standard operational procedure. If we're spending more time and manpower and energy moving The Allied dead of Normandy invasion were The simultaneously freed Allied soldiers from war vital to... Enough is enough. You know, it's just absolute brutality. But they do, yeah. That's actually his real face, but I just put Red Band in there.

1:24:05 Looks a little like you, fella. But my family all thought he died. and like i set him down was like here i want you to watch this oh dude why are you such a dick Extreme with three X's. It was the worst time of your life. And they're faking it. Like, woohoo! They got fucking Mountain Dew and Cheetos and shit. Extreme with three X's. Why are you fighting real people?

1:25:24 It doesn't have to be... There youards. It doesn't have to be people. What does that mean? because it started off with the Holy Roman Empire, right? you know Germany was in such a terrible state financially and spiritually that And look at how we're, you know, it's us against them. the Germanic tribe. at the point of civilization increase their Well, as far as we're concerned, too, because we don't even know all the history of the

1:28:20 Donut shops. Chinese as well, right? to grow and in a modern sense versus, uh, you know, it, it, uh, way before any of them and gold and red are considered uh you know fortuitous and special colors in chinese culture wow that's interesting is you know you look at iran well the persian empire the turkish empires and all this you know No, unforgiving.

1:31:18 for the most part. But, you know, there was a massive culture shift in terms of, you know, Baghdad at one point in time was the cultural center of civilization. The Mongols were so fucking gangster, They didn't fuck around. up these lethargic to Nazi Germany with positive traits Like, just give us your money conveniently all the rape So just steal it from the rich.

1:33:51 somewhere around 50 to 70 million people, Even a really incredibly horrible thing is often the catalyst that can create the next step for potentially something good to even come of it. And what he was saying was, how long is it going to be before someone makes that same analogy about the Nazis? whether we could say this is 90% bad, 90% bad, whatever this thing is.

1:35:33 I think what they're saying is like a few hundred years from now. Simply stating something as a truth doesn't make it any less of whatever it was. The most science fiction moment of the 20th century was during World War II when this man who wanted to engineer a master a lot of it was the, you know, just from a military standpoint, It had a curved magazine.

1:37:52 getting into conflict with Germany like oh well hey my buddies is is on the fritz and you got an extra one how about we no things And while it was used for weapons, it's something that I have no doubt that it has followed throughout the rest of industry as an idea anyways. was a he was an architect or an amateur architect yeah But it's just, you know, the idea that your environment can control your populace.

1:40:27 And it's been around since the Nazis. Hitler's car. I mean, how dope is that fucking thing? And if you compare that to, you know, like other cars, You don't even care. Right, you're like, It was a 1939 Auto Union D-Type. Audi returned it. Private collector Does it have boots in it? That's weird. It's amazing. doesn't mean you're praising They're only subject to the will of the people that created them.

1:43:45 artists and you're like well how did you come up with this amazing painting or idea or sculpture And it's just it's nuts. And, you know, it was a time where things just lined right up and they could create that sense of unity and patriotism and a common goal. and then the war happens and the atomic bombs and everything Right. Think about Korea. a bunch of farmers and their land.

1:47:51 anything you can think about. These companies and that the way they have conquered the marketplace with their products I didn't know about it until the 90s. where there's a movie called how much carnage took place. versus brown hair or white versus black or what it doesn't matter. If we can find a difference, will say the exact same thing about the rest of them.

1:50:25 And then Japan and China always, came from us to begin with And we never ask you to. korea rounded up all the women and made them whores for their army wow and then went all the they having a battleship i thought they were only allowed to have a self-defense force that was part Like the Bismarck came out of Germany, sunk. this is the baddest, coolest fucking,

1:53:09 what it said. The press, captivated by the ironical implications, has faithfully repeated the story. The Olympic all promotion almost invariably used the simple slogan, largest and finest steamers in the world. uh our nimitz class um aircraft carriers no i haven't well i went on one aircraft carrier um One, I can't believe that we ever created this.

1:55:03 How are they really run on nuclear power? It's gotta be something. United States Pacific Fleet Commander, Fleet Admiral Chester W. Nimitz, I don't even know what that means. Letting you know it's ready to sling some dick. Get in. That's insane. As you're driving to Arizona down from San Diego, you drive down to San Diego and they Before I was done.

1:57:43 No G suits for these guys. You know what hooking is? You're feeling your consciousness And these guys can go up to 13. I'm sure he'd figure out a way to do it. But only with leg locks. I'm like, sometimes I think he takes it too far with the leg lock stuff and that his, he doesn't really resemble most jujitsu guys. and explosive and try to tear everything off all the

2:00:30 It's like, I don't know. No. And so giving him I would never even You crazy bitch, make the flip. And I know people give me a hard time about this. because you have the skill set available and the understanding, fucking when someone's trying to preserve a win versus somebody executing a game plan to finish then you're a fucking piece of shit. I think if it's NHB, no time limits, no nothing, then just let it go no matter what.

2:03:52 the last book of poetry you wrote and seeing what he thinks about it it is much easier to get away with that through a short It's not the same. So if I only have to, I get to hold you for five minutes and then go back to my corner But I think that he has, Isn't it interesting how some guys, their musculature and their athleticism just does 20s and then they pick it up pretty quickly.

2:07:29 But I remember Matt, his elbows would be way up tall I don't care what anybody said. just out and but they had a rematch. And he had some really good wins in Strikeforce. Fedor grabbed the ropes. They just, what? It would have been incredible. But I think Fyodor also, you know, he had some trouble with some of the bigger, heavier guys. But as soon as he gets that space, it's lightning, you know?

2:10:42 That much I'm sure of. If he's not number one Who the fuck else is number one Exactly. And him versus Brock You think so? You need to get on him right away before he establishes his range and his reach and everything. He was the UFC champion for quite a while. He looked physically way different than he looked at any other time in his career. i mean you've been fighting i saw you fight in 96 when did you fight in um in hawaii 97 that was uh

2:13:41 Oh, 36. But I don't think I worked at any of your fights back then. There's no one, if you go back to that day, except you and Vitor, there's no one else. paulson and harushi manishi and billy robinson and carl gotch and all these guys just giving me Boom, I got adjustments. incorporating a lot of wrestling and Greco upper body stuff, And most people, they've only got one way at which they know how to do anything.

2:16:32 the natural instincts to deal with certain— then I just drill a knee right through your guts. And how are you going to be prepared to defend saved him from because you know i didn't want the fight stopped either but not for the same reason about that stuff all i care about is the opponent in front of me and uh and and that fight i don't That shit can get in the way, right?

2:19:26 So when you head into a big fight and you've got a lot of media coming up, you just make two Josh Barnetts? judged bad or good by somebody else because they're not the one that has to, to live with this, I would think that that would be one of the more difficult things is all the publicity that you have to do. Experience is always a plus, man. You could see it in your eyes.

2:21:43 I just looked at you, and you looked at me like, what the fuck? over is it like a bit like how about a cormier fight like when you go five hard rounds like that But it didn't feel over after Mir. No, I heard that's good for you. God damn it. It's something that happens to people that overtrain. Your body is not invincible. If you wanted to lift the highest amount of Olympic weight in the world,

2:25:21 who was a strong man, he was like 6'1", maybe 310 pounds. what do you mean i go okay a top fuel dragster they take a motor and they they stroke it and they take nitromethane, smaller motor and jam it on the end of it to turn this fucking thing over. And after every time, and it's so often that they break, things explode. because you push this thing to such a limit

2:28:12 And even if you fill it full of drugs, can, but it pisses me off that I spend all this time training or fucking ice this, or blah, blah, blah. You have to... paper in now. Leave me alone. I get that. Is that what happens to some guys when they get older? You remember that? which is something that i i i know about it but i don't have that i've always been on my own doing

2:31:20 Don't tell me I'm the champ. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I know how I'm feeling what i need about when crossfit came out i'm like oh look circuit training is a big thing now huh you know You know, wear normal-sized socks. kidney apparently will never be the same. If you do get that. So take yourself seriously, make sure that can be avoided, you're going to feel really stupid about those. Yeah. Well, you're not living

2:34:55 How much of your day, or how much of your week, And then I call certain things that I do in the gym as far as the martial arts side. They're not skill-related. crossfit competitions i'm like what do you do with it though? No, it's like you can do all the kipping pull-ups in the world, but if you can't throw a fucking Yes, I can. it's just fucking working out.

2:37:03 ladies and gentlemen. That's what I'm talking about. And then he sends me a video of the girl walking around with toe shoes on. They're good. If you want to work out in them, you know, Some, you know, we were talking about those Just splatter shit out of this dog's butt. You shouldn't be bringing these dogs. I fucking love animals. unreal and I am fully for

2:39:28 getting that service dog whatever, Yeah, exactly. because, oh, it's an emotional support dog. and I mean men as well, I saw a famous actress the other day with one of these fucking things eating at a restaurant. You lease this to someone and they go, I have an emotional support dog. God damn it. and you're just driving around with your father. This is the part where it starts getting really Joe Rogan-y, in my opinion.

2:43:03 This is 100% me. If they don't know me, we would get along great. Yeah. Just let the breeze blow through. And every time you get high, you can hear your inner thoughts. Isn't that amazing? Both. I've heard of it. Not going to happen. It does not sound like a good idea. You're going to wake up glazed with a guy that's just, uh-uh, not going to happen.

2:45:19 us fucking doing DMT. That's the way That's a terrible thought. Life is flying by. and hopefully not PDC, 8 p.m. That's where the glory is going to be taking place this weekend. Oh. It's a smart move. Muay Thai the way they invested in the UFC, I think it's going to be gigantic. When are you fighting next? That fight with Alistair Overeem was nuts, man.

2:47:39 Talk to you soon. No, that was Snuggles. Squarespace.com, fuckers. Thank you also to Onnit.com and the word Joe and the number nine all in one word. Thank you also to on it.com. Toronto's really legendary improv club. All right, we'll be back most likely Thursday. And then Friday night, thanks for everybody who came out to Second City, performed at Second City in Toronto.