Joe Rogan Experience #398 — Sam Tripoli Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! They're going to sell them at NASA. And I was there once, and I saw a girl beat a man with a belt. Yes, it is. madness i've done it several times and uh it's always a great crowd. I mean, even though it's madness, they're really fun people. You know, the Comedy Store is great, but it's time to move it somewhere else and try a little different.

2:00 25th. Comedy Rap Battles? and we put it together. Lit up. It does happen in the to this one at the Improv on the 24th, and it's going to be a great show, man. I'm really impressed by it. We're getting some big-name DJs coming down to this one at the Improv on the 24th, me. I'm like, well, what are we doing? Wait a minute. Some comics are just like that, man.

3:51 you're trying out totally new shit and you want a completely There is that. And there's also that Some bits. Some bits are just weird man some bits Yeah, man. Sometimes it's hard to see when you're the guy doing it too. It's not fun. It's not enjoyable. I think you're totally right. That's not the first time you've said that. the computer and writing there's a lot of friends that i know that are really good comedians that

7:04 kind of feel it and i just kind of go with it but i i it out and then I let kind of the crowd kind of feel it down on a piece of paper. The one thing about writing though, is they say that especially No, I know that about you. And the Hispanic maid service wouldn't sit next to me during lunch driving with no radio on, driving with no radio on is a good thing to do. Not enough people do it,

9:51 more honest with what's gone in my life because I've had a crazy life what you know with my drug about it not that they're taking from me just you know it's in the you know the the air so i'm like on other stuff. everybody wants to hear what they already know they want to really laugh like it's gotten so or that's what gets the biggest reaction. Yeah.

12:31 I know what you're saying, though. If you can make those motherfuckers laugh. But I'll do a couple weekends at the comedy store. it's like burnt wood at this point there's no real reaction you're getting me so everything because it was going to hit somebody in the front row but i just get this weird reaction out of First of all, there's zero crowd control.

15:11 It was so bad, and it would fuck with everybody. You can't be an asshole. Crying. Well, because I called him deep space. Don Lewis was the last of the badass door guys. Oh, right? after him, try to physically assault him. It's like, what is that? Well, it's also You ever hear of the movie Overnight? overnight success okay well you watch this guy like become like the most bloated asshole because of all this success

18:45 and he was the baddest motherfucker. God, we're lucky that we got a chance. and then it all implodes on him and you get to see like the the of it. And it's a really interesting psychological profile. coke in the face of the executive producer oh my god if you fuck your wife the way you write, it's no wonder why you're Just the pressure of being on this gigantic fucking hit sitcom,

20:51 No. Yeah. We're cool with it is when someone pretends to be something they're not. having a good time here own Own your shit. Yeah. There's fucking a lot of counseling to stop prostitution on the female side. Those guys are sucking dicks all day long for cash. It was his birthday and like I want to go there. Nobody cares about male prostitution. And someone called me a male rights dodo.

24:28 No, we want feminism, but no help for men. Yeah. Oh, I don't know about that i've never That lady was really evil. and she said that the story just got bigger and bigger and bigger The woman never did a day of time. And the human rights as a whole, absolutely women need to be protected. How about 20? you have to go to jail for the exact amount of time that you could have imprisoned them for.

28:32 And they'll even say that so many women are victimized that men should have to take the Yeah, I was talking, I had Tom Likas on my podcast. Well, having a final verdict like this guy's case where he was in jail for four years, he could have— and you never hear their name. jail for rape, did you know that the girl who accused him of rape also had a false accusation

30:55 things he did and he maintains this day that he's not right i saw his one man show at the And I'm not saying that it wasn't, you know, like Mike Tyson was out of control. So it's okay to make up a lie about him? I mean, you're ruining people's lives. It's like mestrechny or something. It's like, I forget the name of the word, Isn't there a term for women who are sexist against men?

32:37 Yeah, 100%. If you treat people like a human being, I'm totally open to you. We've all said the wrong thing. other's company on both sides. it's women to men or men Sometimes you see these sentences where a man and woman commit a crime, the guy gets Snitches get stitches. She basically says rape is okay. Right there, you're in trouble. fucking. Yeah, caveman fucks her.

35:41 and all they were talking about was dick. Just like knuckle drag, primate, fuck you. Some girls don't want that, Sam Tripoli. And everybody's like, this guy's an asshole. If your wife says no, turn her around, rip her clothes off. I love that cosplay. That's what works for her. Yeah. Unless you're role playing. Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open,

38:30 It's really interesting, man. I feel like progressives are a little more skewed way to the left, that stuff. And I'm open-minded to everybody. I don't care if you're straight, gay, or whatever And to narrow it down to one or the other and to want other people to be like you is insane you know just like in the i mean it's a it's ridiculous. If this girl likes this and this keeps them happy.

41:04 There's also people have to acknowledge It's a completely different thing. The savagery that lies in the Italian DNA What is that? No, the fuck he does not. You know, they want a world that they're king, and then get rid of the people that make me play to my weaknesses and it's just it's The ones that I like, there's some who go in there and just crush that room.

43:32 in a brand almost how come a man's able to do it and we don't go looking to save And I've been reading about all these girls pulling guns out on dudes trying to have sex with them. Did you need to pull a gun out? things We're weird pieces, and we don't fit together like puzzles. talking about she she posted all of her hate tweets all the people that tweeted her and they

45:31 Well, that's trying to control the thought and stop the conversation. And especially when they're being very specific about what you said that's stupid. I posted it last night about climate change. and the topic was nine things that, No, they're not. emotionally now instead of we're accelerating it and we need to do something and carbon tax and all this shit. And people on the left think that climate change is done by man and that we're accelerating it and we need to

48:15 And some dickhead with a regular job who reads the Wall Street Journal and pretends he's a player in the stock market because he day trades during lunch. lottery and then i don't want to pay taxes on that we're like well that probably not gonna happen To vote against your own interests is just so interesting. Three, that vitamins make you healthy. I sort of get it, but I also, I know that there was, I mean,

50:53 causing some of it, you're crazy. Is it that you think that you would now get your news tailored as truth or horseshit. Or F maybe it's just that it's fiction. That should be a graphic. This post has been shown to be horseshit. just gives you a pile of horse shit that sits underneath your post. It's going to happen. For the most part, it's super accurate.

53:21 a month by the company and you know i mean i obviously this is one side of it There's some way that they manipulate the upload process. This is allegedly. By the way, this is not my thoughts. and then last night he actually Whatever. You don't have to. And then when the show comes up, he'll call you up and go, yeah, the show got canceled. Yeah that's why I've heard the story

56:27 He reviews for Newsweek Daily Beast. asked him if that was his name, and just punches him right in the face. You were funny and then you did a shitty joke. That's incredible. But we could read them. We don't know how it went down. done right, whatever it is. I think people are just inherently frustrated at their position in life. That's funny, but ESPN makes you do that?

59:21 If you're going to say something, you're going to put your name on it. Especially in the East Coast where I grew up in Boston. It's just unfortunate when everybody has to act. Violence and sex are just looked at people will explode. Yep. Why is that? and sucks everybody's dick. you can't just blow people just he goes he's still unconscious these men were their families he just sucking their cocks

1:02:54 Fucking, who has that much telephone wire available to tie somebody up and then just Viagra doesn't make you just get hard for no reason. That was the worst Russian accent ever, by the way. Isn't that crazy? and they have to replace that tissue. You know, having little girls, man, and the idea of that, about giving your little girl away to someone, is so horrific to me.

1:04:56 That kind of changed the momentum of the war. whatever you know but you go into some we went to a base called the alamo because it was surrounded You still go over there? and they turned it into like a tourist piece. Little Caesars. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, alleged. No, it's real meat. Get out of here. I mean, people like that fake meat, bro. Is it fake? Oh, yeah. I mean, well, alleged.

1:07:18 I eat that thing all day, buffalo chicken, until I die. There probably was no more spots where they could be and was viable. man love thursday. Is that real? Afghanistan. Ask them about Man Love Thursday. is that really true? Dude. There's an article about it online. That's their custom. Afghanistan's, the article is in Queerity, And it's talking about, it says,

1:10:46 many of these male soldiers refuse to identify as gay, It's from... Repealed, rather. Although they seem to be in complete denial about it. and you read that people are dying over there, absolute madness. What an interesting little gray area they've found. Yeah, there's a little fine print right all these like really nice bungalows really cool small houses and she was like that's where the

1:14:21 What do you mean? in the eyes. Not bad. Getting to know each other. I don't have time for a woman in my life. That's ridiculous. Did they just run out of names? that there's a snopes thing on that i should probably look that up america snopes america They just hang them. the only time they did it on a regular basis was, Or just were different. It's like they dunk you in water, and if you lived, you were a witch.

1:17:01 Look at this. The fuck? For all your shitty ass information you need, it's slopes.com. Too long, didn't read. Well, I think if people stay alive for the next thousand years, we will. Are you ready? Go. I mean, there's no way you're going to be able to stop it. That's because those three people didn't know how to keep their fucking mouth shut. robots. You know, the way they're doing it

1:19:30 the first thing they would probably do is try that out on the moon. Yeah, they've devised this 3D printer that they think they can transport. And then he winds up taking her, just like that guy in the book. But look at these photos. Yeah. Yeah, Epson sent you some new shit. printers and build these houses before we even get there. Wow. I'm born too early or too late?

1:22:54 They can also, or on Mars, they can also get one to land on the moon. Not good. But one day they're going to make one that's really fucking smart. Because it says test pilot. God. It's all coming. I don't think those are natural ideas. Yeah. Women can buy vibrators and put it on and drive home. a transformer. You're fucked. I mean, if you could allow really angry feminists to program robots to be, a male robot to be anything they want it to be, how would those guys be?

1:26:13 Alt comics. not even dumb a lot of alt people aren't dumb. Like, oh, I watch something like, wow, that's clever, Like, I'm writing for a bunch of people that are like cynical But when you pay money to go on the road Like open mics, you're playing the comedians. because they could just fly out comics from L.A. you start out dead how would you start out if you're if when I started there was one open mic

1:29:32 that's just how i uh perform forever that's very smart man that's very genius of you it's kind of That's why I'm very passionate about it. blessed that growing up uh we didn't physically fight with each other we just racked each other So we were vicious with each other. And to this day, that's really helped me with hecklers. I have to learn to tell them how much I like them, too.

1:32:10 time professional comedian and work from one to two and a half, three hours drive at the most standing on top of milk crates, and I got picked up, and they brought me to Montreal. I never really played. They were always really, really nice to me. Schrippa is just fair. Gave me spots. I mean, a full-on brawl. One of the funniest dudes, man, had some of the funniest jokes I've ever heard.

1:35:01 Seems like Artie loves talking sports, too. When you say I have a really great show. sports it wouldn't be as exciting as a sports podcast that mostly talked about sports right I love podcasting almost as much as I love doing stand-up, and I love doing stand-up. They get so angry that I don't share their opinion. People are rigid in their ideas, Sam Trimpley.

1:36:38 But I would never. It certainly makes people that other people talk about a lot. I didn't say he sucked. And it was just some random – I didn't even hashtag Eminem. I said it was going to be a great album. So people could say, like, Yeah. I've been there. They probably played a cut for it. Brett Musburger, who's great. I ain't judging. Who am I to judge?

1:39:39 You see Adam Levine and Lady Gaga got into a little Twitter beef. And so she comes back on. That's really funny. Shut the... Well, not only that, How is he not an artist? You just basically say what you're doing is not artistic. Yeah, the other way around. I shouldn't say he's a dick. white band guys. Just that sentence shows me you're not that bright.

1:42:46 We both have friends that suck. try to get me to rewrite your jokes. Get alone. How do you make something funny that's not funny at all? talking about i gotta be honest with you you're saying that and i experience just the opposite i You know when those guys are there, you get out of the room. And I'm not saying I'm anything better than anybody. You're going to get bad.

1:44:56 Sense of your own intelligence people like you so much beautiful cheekbones Must be nice Primate style When it comes down to it, he's got weak genes. I mean, he might not be dumb. She loves showing it, too. and Lady Gaga dominated her. Look at this. Dude, her body's insane. I guess it was like some music video she did that showed various art styles or something.

1:47:19 Well, you know, my side. You're 20 years old, you're trying to find yourself, You remember when there was things that you liked when you were young you know there were certain There's a thing about comedy. It was an awesome movie. nobody said anything. So I'm like, okay, that's cool. This is the end. The world's end is the robots and the pub. Yeah, dumb and dumber, they're doing a reunion.

1:49:36 Yeah, his character on Newsroom. Yeah. We have to look up. Don't that Magician movie didn't do that well Where they give you like 90 movies to watch some of his movies do but he's a great actor yeah that movie for whatever reason just didn't seem It was a great movie. Kick-Ass 1 was one of the best movies I've ever watched. Because they're brilliant.

1:51:52 Yeah, she's really good. Very, very smart kid. If you look at all of them, everyone who ever was a young superstar, Too much too early. Oh, you've been famous since you were five. taught you know a proper way to act you're not about michael jackson i mean that fame is beyond anything anyone will ever get to. Oh, yeah. of television, film, everything that we watched

1:55:39 face changed so radically he might be the first guy that we've ever seen that has has done that the first guy that we've ever seen that has done that, But the comparisons of his face Like, what did you do? See if you can pull any photos of the before and after. His nose was so bad that they had to, like, graft skin over it. That's not real. I don't know.

1:57:45 fixing that. Let's see. Let me see. I think Who said that sexy duck lips? Like, did you see that lady that... There's a before and after of the cat lady where she was beautiful. You can't unsee what you've seen. No, I don't want to see it. We're susceptible to all sorts of weird variations Really common. Well, look how you're sitting though. Right there.

2:00:31 I do. Yeah, the metal, the blacks. You're going to get some sludge in your veins, son. Keep it going. I'll drive you crazy. Like, Fear Factor style. Isn't that what motivational speakers do? tell me what to do. People live, breathe, on a Joe Rogan show. Hot chick out of Comedy Madhouse down in Well, you know, I like doing it. most comedians, and it's not an excuse, but

2:03:03 8. What time do you usually go to bed at 8. You usually go to bed what time? By 7.30, they're conked out. That's when we have fun together. I started writing it a few weeks ago. Everybody should have a shitty childhood. creating things. I'm at my happiest, not at my happiest, but I think a good source of happiness, What gets me off is coming up with an idea in my head, fine tuning it, tagging it, and

2:05:34 good. They appreciate your art. And that's what these people are doing. They're appreciating your which will lead to this. couple episodes was like a hundred people listening to it. You know, nobody gives a shit. We were doing these live streaming things from the green room. he's in Manhattan with the city behind him. He can make it like Africa. It would be four years ago, I think.

2:07:49 And now who gives a fuck? Gorgeous like a girl? It's what you can do if you can just design it from the ground up by yourself. You want to fuck my house? Yeah, I want to fuck your studio. Yeah. Well, we know what it is. I had that built. The wooden table feels like, They might have lied to me. the sci-fi show created. We just get swimming pool at night back there? Look at that. It'll do that to the wall. Oh, look at that. Look at that. Lights up from behind. Swimming pool at night?

2:09:16 I'm glad you enjoy the ambiance. I love the Comedy Magic Club. I'm just trying to figure it out, like what I should do. and you kind of do whatever you want, But it's like I don't want to go in there and be like just shit on the rules. I get that. First of all, the store is haunted. and I was all alone I'm like, dude, that's some crazy shit. pitch black, but there's this weird

2:12:10 All of a sudden I see just this figure go right in front of the light. it was light in the lobby. it's always when some violent crime had happened, proposed by a guy named rupert sheldrake i think he's an evolutionary biologist but he had this It's just like there's a feeling there. It is possible, right? don't go hmm man maybe but think about how many fucking people have told ghost stories is it

2:15:26 There might be another dimension where your soul goes after you die. who can tap into an energy that other people maybe can't I want to know how he did the dice. He's got psychic smell. Sexual psychic. Sexual in Vino, which is Dude, Dice is a master. just giggling like a couple of retards. Well, he was really unique in that people could repeat his stuff.

2:18:59 Like, you can't wrap your head around how big he was. he did say a lot of, like, really rude shit about gay people. When your grandma asks you how your colored boyfriend is, But listen, man, I'm sorry, but if I know the story right, if you're robbing me at gunpoint, That's not right. You don't feel that. I do. I feel that. You don't feel. I love everybody, man got that. We got that from you, Sam. That's what I've been feeling. No, you don't. You don't feel that.

2:20:34 No, that's what happened. Why would you? She linked to you. Wait a minute. Well, I'm sorry, dude, because I was saying that you didn't know what you were talking about. She asked her employee to dress up like Aunt Jemima? This guy who worked there said Do you know what that is? No. that you could write a story about this what Candyman. If you're heckling me...

2:23:49 Discrimination case officially closed. Paula Deen's robber comes to her defense? He had 13 prior convictions for robbery before he pointed his gun. That's some clarity that a lot of people are not capable of. moment, you know, and even afterwards at least 20, you know it's so long, are we That's 30 years ago. 30 years ago, man! And, you know, maybe what she says is rough, but, I mean, people change, man.

2:26:44 Holding you accountable to something you did 20 years ago or even a fucking year ago, man. Let's be honest honest about that you're not the person you were a year ago if you're constantly evolving and growing like i don't care i got nothing to hide it like, who doesn't have anything to hide, man? Saying something like that is just, without a doubt,

2:27:55 And he didn't even have a high school education. It's like you don't have to do something wrong to be monitored. that are looking to capitalize on the holes that we have in our system, propose a solution, people who think that's some tinfoil hat conspiracy bullshit you're really not paying attention just because someone's in a suit, they're not standing on a corner, they're going to act different.

2:30:23 You just hire a bunch of... I have friends that went over there and did some work for them. shot they just wanted to shoot yeah so they don't care if they take out 13 people they just want to They forget about different bombs that went off. Yeah, we're getting desensitized, man. Yeah, I don't want to see it either. I know in England the law enforcement doesn't carry guns, but I know Canada has very strict gun laws, right?

2:32:56 The problem with guns is like that expression, you can't take pee out of the pool. This guy, the Aurora shooter, the kids that were in the Columbine kids, they're all medicated. Mentally ill. the fucking 1200s back during the mongol days and shit like that but it's still yeah it's a little for a whole day, important point well my point i just use it as an example meaning that i feel that a lot of people

2:35:26 No. Really? Well, maybe that guy's on a suicide run, but these people go around, they just walk up and they shoot their drug dealer. I've never been to the studio. We got Greg Proops is coming back. 97? We'll see you this weekend. Don't use the comma, bitch. It's America. the love on Twitter, and all the cool articles that you guys sent me. Republicans

2:37:59 alright