Joe Rogan Experience #400 — Joey "CoCo" Diaz, Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Experience. Real quick, not to throw you off. Yeah. Right. You take five. I take five of those before I found all these football players were getting gangster with it. they take like five alpha brains and six room techs and i You know what's going to happen because of this? He'd try to hug him, and they'd shoot him. She had a baby in her car.

2:44 Why not? and then it somehow becomes a reality, Like, it's happening every three weeks, There's a lot of fucking issues. I think it's natural. need them or not, the reality is I forget. and they just kept ramping it up for the human body to tolerate. It's very difficult for the human body to deal with and then just the stress of life, period. The one in Finland where the guy murdered those kids.

5:54 That was the big one. there that they don't they don't feel like they can make a dent in this world unless they do You know like you might be around friends There's also this weird transitionary period the human race is going into as we get more What is it about numbers? You can live in your home and Duncan can live in your home. I want to hear you.

8:31 We're disenfranchising ourselves from ourselves. I like the contact. And, you know, he's fairly famous. So he starts talking to them. Like, sitting by themselves on a date. He's fairly famous. I'm watching this play out. fucking emotional support dogs. That's hilarious. See, this is a thing this It's going to let you know he's dead. getting increasingly suspicious

11:47 See, that shit is so ridiculous. It's a fucking dog. I've always had dogs. I'm old school. You want to listen to music, put your fucking earphones on I don't know. You can leave the fucking dog in the car with If people ate pot brownies like you eat pot brownies and went into restaurants, they would need emotional support. And they drive to Warner Brothers and they communicate with people.

14:02 Whatever they give you, Joe. That's how I meant it. dose and give him different stuff. Like, okay. What was getting you depressed? You know when I was in college. Why were you on it? I got depressed. Wow. What was getting you depressed? really bad for your brain though dude especially if you're not supposed to be well it was you know First time coming after how long?

16:46 you can like squeeze some jizz after it's over does it feel like you accomplished something And two separate occasions in my life. I did that that's how stupid I am should be in the Constitution, It would definitely be less tense. And the weed store is still open. This is bad. Yeah, don't get mad at Joey Diaz for stating the obvious. and rolling. Denver is rocking

19:21 all of a sudden the government shut down because they Did you see that 60-minute show? collapse right so they can't regulate them anymore and then the drugs will take over and the drugs going to be okay if i grow pot in my yard because if that's the case it's pretty easy to do man this shit really fucking easy. He had the fenders made out of hemp. like they they got it in because of the actual applications for clothing and nylon and fuel.

22:26 It just stuck so good. Then nothing else can fuck with it. Yeah, it's illegal in Portland. And those are the only two right now that it's actually legal in the state. and you really explore, like, shit, do I want to be, And it's identifying aspects of yourself that need to be worked on. and a society based on ignoring the fact that the whole thing functions

26:02 known what it is to sit on a couch. You know, I don't play games. No way. Right. And then it got shorter to the cassette. I used to buy Sony used to make an amp that you plugged into the Walkman and you plugged your speakers into the fucking amp. Yeah. A hip hop, That has got to be one of the weirdest creations. The people who had that were people who fucking look kind of scary.

27:59 Yeah. You're turning on Huey Lewis and the News full blast. I'm sure someone must have, Joey. That's insane. It was no lucky seven. 14. 14. God damn, Joey. You how old are you in this picture? 14. This guy right here? His name was Louie Hernandez. They called him that to his face, too. But the best thing he did was, we used to do acid. So I knew all these motherfuckers.

30:29 He gets out of the car in West New York. His sister. I got to do what I got to do, you know. on the left. That kid's like a I believe you. It's fucking crazy, man. No, I was smoking dope then. and my mom at the house. we were and we wound up waking up in various parts of the house like blink like and then in between during the walking i forget everything so then boom all of a sudden i wake

33:39 You really start to understand. My mom's leaving. We'll smoke in your yard, and we'll go and listen to Pink Floyd. And you put the joint in there, and you put your finger at the end open but it had a hole and you put the joint What do you got, three dollars? You think Nick will say I'm high? So now you had to look and talk to her or whatever. and chairs and couches

35:35 The only problem is it's against health code to be smoking in a public place. and you'd listen to George Carlin Even George Carlin, he was so fucking hip. Drooling, crying. No. My parents had an album, and it was Noah having a conversation with God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's extremely conservative. Yeah, it's unfortunate. It's a brand new thing. turn on them and he's like hi mom, Mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:19 I mean, as far as stand-up comedians, in my opinion, there's five, six sacred comedians. You know, we've said a lot of things about that guy over the years, Mencia. Right. When Letterman first came on. Something. And I found out he was at the comedy store. and then went to see the dude radio in Boulder at the big thing on South Boulder we went he was brilliant his material was brilliant

41:57 Everything has to be a little flip on things. couldn't park anywhere near the place yes That's a classic Stephen Wright. That's that style. I said, no, but I want a regular banana later. tonight. it's so much easier the way we do comedy, because you have a subject, and your subject, like the Liberace bit that you're doing now, he'll start on that Liberace

44:39 And they're all non-connected. listening my ears Darth Vader in the background. Yeah. like anyone who's like a real legitimate comic could go and do it for free. art of stand-up. You know, if somebody wants to take a course and they're not a comedian and they I'm sorry to cut you off. but the comedy class isn't something where you tell someone, you know,

48:11 I'm going to tell you this sincerely from my heart, as you were saying it, You got to figure it out on your own. and you're also two of my favorite comedians. You know why? Because you're really you, and you're really you. Right. I mean, it yet both awesome. You know why? You guys aren't in that spot so because of that I would like to go on stage and make people laugh.

50:06 No one is ever going to be able to figure out how to make a Duncan Trussell except Duncan Trussell. And if that tendency is in you, you're going to have a hard fucking time anyway getting a regular job because it's such an affront. Just the very same thing that like when you see a mother dog. The only way to get by in life, if you want to move your way up the corporate ladder,

52:03 I think that's not all places, though, man. It's an old school model, which is that it's based on feudalism. They own everything. If you go there, their employees get fucking foosball tables and shit But at work, he puts on women's clothes and they change the title, his title at work, to what his girl name is. If I met you before, I have met you before, but I met you as Bob.

54:00 no no no no my friend is my friend my friend works in the same environment as Well, the shoes alone would be reason to not be a woman. nice, you know, put myself in uncomfortable I meant to say isn't a chick. Jimmy Choo is actually a woman. Yeah, they're fucking dangerous, man. like Fedor used to do. Yeah. apocryphal, and so you would try to use the high heels to push the feet out of the shit. It doesn't make sense because the toes down, the toes still getting kicked in shit puddles and so you would try to use the high heels to like push the feet out of the

58:10 I could see if you had some Gene Simmons-style kiss boots. Yeah. sucks that people are getting shot right now, Or are we? Or are we? People don't get the love that they need from the jump. The Todd is responsible for me getting into the store. He was a comic, and he was on MTV back in the day, and he had been in. And I was happy to have that. and saying that I was funny.

1:00:48 But I was better then, I'm sure. I think it's a combination of like— next to Mitzi and then watching the comics This can I'm out of here. Okay. Okay, honey. I'm watching a show What's the Tyler? For years they had raised her thinking it was Todd Rundgren. I don't know. We should play some. Yeah. You've heard his jam. What is his songs? I don't know.

1:03:00 I think that if you... I smell hay, farts. It's all worked out. and we were just getting into the song about how crazy they call me the breeze, I'm out the I'll be back next year. reconcile those yeah how do you reconcile that shit yeah you have well that's also i think there's a certain amount of conflict that sort of Women who feel suppressed will try to suppress others.

1:06:17 From the 1950s to the present, insane amounts. there's a lot of weird shit And you don't even have a fucking video that you can watch of what this place where you're going to try to live in looks like and you're going over there with your kids This is like the body was something to be reviled. Think about music, man. There's some classic songs. It's like this loving voice that she has.

1:08:48 skid his knee and never had a family member die you don't know what the fuck Disappointment is one of the great states to be Or you just put your dog to sleep. that comes from recognizing that This is how things are always going to be. This is going to last forever. That conception will Why are you freaking me out, Duncan Trussell? A fool learns from his own.

1:11:50 bunch well it gets you out there man it's like you know you always hear about people who it's easy to just look at life and not appreciate the fuck out of this crazy ride we're on yeah The drug of killing. I'm going to ride back home to my bed. Joe Rogan you been smoking weed for three years. 50 years. Yeah, God praise Eddie Bravo. I love Dr. Drew.

1:14:33 It's not a physically addictive thing. I'm like, where's this coming from, Joe? And it's weird how I've always believed, especially for me, Whatever I I believe Joey Diaz is sober. Monday I'm not going to smoke nothing or eat nothing. I enjoy it as a ritual before I write. But I also like the effects. I'm like, you really should be paranoid. They're running over motorcycles. You see that shit in New York?

1:17:35 I don't know. the biker was an asian driver i'm not saying that Asian drivers are terrible, It's like 99.9%. And he drives over this bike and drives over a guy and broke his body. besides my horrible racist Asian while he has a baby in the car. Horrible tragedy that... He's breaking the window with his helmet. Popped his tires. Okay, I will pull it up.

1:20:17 I read it. One of the... Like, the textures of the road. Have you not played it at all? I feel like out of all the things because it's all about like meditating This is a time lapse they made on it. You ever been to hard times? Yeah, yeah. I think it had already changed names. in the history of the world that place was a 24-hour pool hall where half the people in there

1:22:53 you can put someone in a position where they don't think they can make the They would rob people. like this crazy 24 hour pool hall life where people are players and they're gambling, I'm staying at this fucking boarding house down the street. I know several dudes who got arrested while I was playing there. My friend, where you from? You got a beautiful suit. That's a

1:24:59 And now they're giving it to you, Duncan. They're giving it to you. And Duncan, he's showing it to you. And that's it. So right there, they have two guys sucked in and one of their own. You know what? he just throws it up in the air, and that's it. That's their residence. It got a carton, like the bottom of a carton for cans, and he just throws it up in the end. That's it.

1:26:36 and they do that same scam again. you know, boom! The police. They blow a it was something that Ari says that when you walk around today, Weed, marijuana, THC, joints, loose joints, acid, ácido. I would bring it back. If you go to a pool hall and not playing classic rock, turn around. You can get It's basically a disco now go to fucking White Plains, New York.

1:29:05 It's better than your dick in a pile back in the day and they'd get a call you know in the in like the middle of the day you know he's polishing balls who was always there who had a gun except there was no Depression. But for these guys, I would play and I would always lose. Is that better and they would try everybody's trying to constantly figure out an edge because they're playing a game where their life would they eat or

1:31:33 It's madness. Trust me. When you the game. I've never tried to. I'm terrified it's not going to get nutrition for the next six hours. You really stay in for Listen, man, your ego reveals you, my brother. It means I'm playing against fourth graders who are crushing me. You basically hate women. I don't say I love women. They didn't just kill one If this was any other company,

1:33:52 Oh, he's sad. You've got to find it. It's on Dailymotion. It's on my Twitter. They're doing it right. It's not out. He knew the world would not be the same. Tower 7. Listen, if that doesn't get your dick hard, move to France. That looks so fucking good. That is an incredible verse, man. There's a new video of Bigfoot. Is this Grand Theft Auto? And it's a female.

1:37:24 It must be a female Dumb cunts This is ridiculous Well, these people are crazy as fuck Todd Disotel the way i'm very confident when i don't mistake that for being accurate yeah this is uh ridiculous If you sneeze, if you breathe, if you touch something with your sweaty skin, you get human DNA on things. I believe they really believe that it's a Bigfoot turd.

1:39:22 You say that. That's so cool. more interesting anyway i don't know there's a bigfoot there could be a bigfoot anywhere there They might have actually like... Can you imagine? How crazy gangster wasps are. And they could just they kill everything they kill tarantulas There's videos of wasps fucking up tarantulas because wasps can keep stinging if you ever been stung by a wasp they can kill you

1:41:12 Fuck that. I think it's a dude. Fuck. Don't get sweaty. Don't be so selfish. Let's put all these hornets in our baby's hand. You putting it in. and it was right next to the baby, passed out, but a window These are the questions you ask an android It's a turtle. Have you ever played Fallout 3? there's like a compound of slavers. And they give you some weird special executioner's

1:45:20 Oh, fuck yeah I would. Some, don't even mention a name. this topic is over he went to Oprah in San Diego I don't give a fuck What did you think when this whole thing went down? I thought it was some kind of attack of negativity just swirled down There he is. Look at him. I'll fucking kill you. Oh, South Park School shootings, everything. They're right so many times.

1:48:20 I want to see it. It's a really interesting Ugh. for something that's for the first something So if you set it up tonight, you shut your phone up, lock the door, hide the window. you first worlders are all stuck on your fucking sun No one. You know, man, I think there might be a great many people out there who aren't being fucked Yeah, but what are we looking at right here?

1:50:51 So, like, you know when you give a squeaky toy to a dog? well that's what these games are for humans there's squeak toys they like let Joey, you don't fuck with games, period. the ones that those games. he sent us one, like a big arcade and it has like 500 games on it. Is that called MAME? Is that what that is? I think it's a bar. Oh, they have it at Death Squad. The guy that sent those 4K TVs. He sent us one, like a big arcade

1:52:40 conspiratorial connection Yeah, let me find it real quick. And somehow or another they became zombies and got frozen up in the fucking South Pole or some shit. That's why he's got a zombie at his studio that has a swastika on No one's going to be at any of the Y's. And they meet. The whole day was going great. Which night? This one has pre-rolled joints of dynamite.

1:54:49 it's a fucking and I could tell so inconsistent with their product like you'll get a 5x cookie that's not that big a deal yeah You could taste it. Suck his cock? What did it taste like? when it comes to, like, breast Who knows? It's a problem. It's illegal. their hair. No, this brownie kicked my ass a little I think that it is important, and people that hear this

1:57:10 Or the chocolate bar or whatever the fucking thing is. I feel every needle go into my skin. The needle correspond with your skin. Yeah. Have you heard this, of this book? But they talk about how the mind, how there's a term called vrittis. ignoring. Like for me, I'll start thinking about like, you know, like when I had cancer, that's, the apple to the snake yet eden's the stripper that live in the garden whatever whatever her

2:00:25 Joey Diaz The thing is I do No brother That was a good fucking thing the other night Wasn day. Your life has changed. No, brother. I had to do Kevin and Bean in the morning. It's pretty interesting to watch. Milwaukee and Boston were both insanity. Gary Valentine Pass. I don't know what happened. Brian, what the fuck did I get you? Do you know why?

2:02:09 That never addressed me. Jamie Foxx. Because they've seen you dick online. You got to be over here. There's something about that place, right? Lobo. Why does everything have to be on video? because the other people should enjoy it too what you developed was I don't want to say any more because I don't want it to be a spoiler. You can't keep doing something.

2:04:19 You need to figure that out. with laughter at that bit. People need to see that. you got six minutes? Let's find out what that's all about. Took one of my balls. You can't be fucking around with the devil, Duncan Trussell. you know obviously i don't believe that you think in these things like as far as being reality but You're trapped in the desert and you come down the hill and what is this?

2:06:47 I know it was a joke. That's not. But I... Fuck off! Let me get a little blast of this. It's the exact opposite of what's going to help you lose weight. I can help you burn off. It'll hurt your mother. People you meet in a week will fucking pass out at work. It's interesting. letting you know that it's fucking you up. ate at that slammin' barbecue We ate the pit.

2:09:58 It has four stars if you go to the reviews online, but that's just because 10% of the people in the world And you also like it 150 proof which is about Can you read it, Joey? Where does it say it? Is that 100 proof? 90 With an ice cube A little Monte Cristo? Yeah, you get fucked up. Shut up. Wow. Like, they're throwing a temper tantrum. so that we can just...

2:13:06 There's actually a way for the states to band together so that we can do complete re-elections. or all the things they were willing to compromise on but the president wasn't. And it doesn't have to be violent, but we do need to revolutionize the way government Yes. It's too obvious where the money comes from. like we know that 39.99 for a dvd you know, insert the blank, Tara Patrick.

2:15:42 and politics is holding on by a fucking claw. Well, let's just hope. you know that how many of them are there in the government? Yeah, how many? How many senators? How many congressmen? compared to that And the moment it did and we organized in a nonviolent way, And no, in that really what would be optimal is if the people that were in positions of power realized they were fucking over the world.

2:18:37 No way, man. And the shit cuts out every five minutes. Those people are naturally followed. can you imagine if joey diaz was sitting across from Obama? Joey, what we're dealing with right now, You're freaking me the fuck out. Joey's gone. You're so That shit must have come out of a time machine in the future. I'm talking about people who smoke dope and people who don't smoke dope

2:21:46 you when I get out of there. Yeah. He's already listen. They don't want to listen, you know? Right. Me neither. Duncan. Boom! No. Oh, she is. Oh, yeah. I think you're supposed to do that. By the way, when I was 24, I was dumb as fuck. So the early internet, like I was on the internet in 94, but I didn't learn a goddamn thing until 2003. that all got boring,

2:24:35 are you fucking shitting me man it's the exact same price as a taxi tell people what it is there's It's the exact same price, maybe $5 more than a taxi. And you would think Lyft or this company would insure everybody. nice car bottled water in the back yeah and it's the same part the main crazy thing about is it's Yeah. Airport pickups. Go back home, sleep for a few hours.

2:27:39 You got that. bust his ass you know he's in here 16 17 18, 18 hours a day sometimes. And he was like, that's how you do it. And he gets that he had a nice apartment with a nice view. He looked out his You could work and you could make good living. No, go ahead. At least they're busy. I was a big Stevie Ray Vaughan fan. Well, he probably could do heroin much more comfortably in the back of a cab.

2:30:40 A cab driver is not the gutter, but a cab driver is down. Every day they just pour Jakar into their asshole to try to cover up this rotting stink of their intestines. Next week, I'm with Ari Shafir at Cobb's. Joey Diaz. It's been fun to watch. It's hard. It is hard. It's so hard to write and tuck something away and go, I'm fucking writing new shit. I'm trying, man. It's hard.

2:32:41 town was working. Now I just This is a different game. is to do it. I was like this seven minute set is just not cutting it seven ten ten minutes. That's not cutting it either You know, the trailer, but yeah, It feels so fucking weird. Yikesies. Is there anything I'm working on that I haven't done? crutch I remember the first time I went on stage I was shit in my pants I was

2:35:25 Joey Diaz And just leave the beard like But I'm in no way I like the fact that I talk about the fact that I panicked about losing my hair, You do every single thing cult leaders do. I don't give a fuck. Or you want to cut your balls off, put on the Nikes, get on this fucking spaceship. Some kettlebells. It's fucking special. First of all,ubrey is amazing yeah

2:38:26 to uh make a business and do it correctly and do it in this day and age with all the scrutiny of True psychedelic explorers really are trying to do the right thing at all times. or whatever you want to call it. Yeah, no, I completely agree. Why are you fucking quiet, Red Band? All right. It was probably one of the funniest, one of the most fun times I've ever had in my life. You only do it once a month and I was on his last one and it was probably one of the funniest one of the most fun times I've ever had a good time you only do it once a month now

2:41:55 I don't think it's the best way to do all of them, You got to fucking kill some motherfucker, fucking front of you, which is very rare. So you're up there and you're fucking, it's like that little cheat of the other night. Like, you know, that story that I told, that was the best I ever told it ever. Look at you. If Duncan went to prison tomorrow, you'd come out in 10 years.

2:43:36 Hey! Son of a bitch. Talking about Manson. That's a nice smooth head. You look different with hair. This is something That's why. You can follow Duncan Trussell on Twitter. How dare you lie to those Is that how you say it? Mad Flavor. Attell's up there this week. on fucking Wednesday. Oh. Fuck it. Bunz. Trying to get down there. And then November 20th, San Francisco Punchline.

2:47:01 It's right up there with me. We love you. None of it makes sense. It was madness. Wow. I know it's changed all of our lives. All right. We got Graham Hancock is coming up we got so Dave Asprey is coming back almost 4 years ago This is not just a one-way street. one that sponsored this show, LegalZoom. Use the code name Rogan. Save 10% off any else supplements. Alright. We use the code name rogue and save 10 off any