Joe Rogan Experience #404 — Greg Proops Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! No, everything's going on, it's a nice day today. I'm excited to be out here. And so, yeah, no, it's nice to be on Earth with you, man. one, because there was, I think, a documentary about Enron Yeah. i'm not you know i'm not necessarily uh socialisty in any way but if you allow people to get to that It's why the government's closed.

2:11 and afghanistan was like one guy and you're like what are you talking about man yeah and russia was Some sources say that 98% of the people that are killed are civilians. And the other 98%, what exactly are they guilty of? And again, it's just like everything else in life. There's many definitions of terror and one is state-operated terror and that's what that is

4:38 Yeah. But it could. Yeah. Isn't it possible you guys can just settle the fuck down and everybody just talk things through? Not in the world. I mean, even if you just count America. They got to get paid. They increased the amount of heroin they grow once the U.S. invaded. No one wants to believe that, and that's a problem. government selling the coke and them being the big dealers rather than some crazy guy at least the

8:23 and that always is a little frightening to me. Get high through yoga if you don't want to smoke weed. It doesn't make any sense to anybody. Let's talk this fucking shit out. people who lost friends and loved It's so abstract. It's so hard to wrap your head around the Great Wall of China. We're not getting the impact. If we were in the community, we'd see the fear and talk

10:57 But I think that that emotional disconnect is a huge malaise that's gotten worse, I think, in the last few years. someone can have, and that just doesn't seem right either. a preposterous cap. It was like a year or something like that. Yeah, I didn't pay taxes for a year. I was just broke. I was a kid where I didn't pay taxes for like shit. It was like a year or something like that.

12:22 I felt like if you, in the principle of taxes, I'm not saying that if they weren't influenced by that then i would feel even better about it. I would really be happy about my contribution to our community. I think it's super important to pay taxes. because government's this big boondoggle And poor people aren't taking $600 billion a year or something?

14:18 Try to start a little health care but my ADD kicked in hard. The Supreme Court voted it in. people on the rolls and shit. and restaurants segregated and the country segregated and they just fucking did it I think it's the same thing congress people and so they that weren't having that after there was a party of abolition. And then that turned. Like the Trayvon Martin case

16:57 and fucking rounded them up and shit like that. old-fashioned as white let's make sure the undesirable people aren't in our neighborhood after dark. there's so much involved in it Like if there's certain people. everything cool just got some skittles i'm going have a good night brother yeah that's it like nice It was this buildup that just didn't have an outlet, and then boom,

19:25 in the neighborhood and shit and you know i mean and then it could also could be he's just a Yeah. this that's undeniable that carries in his defense, and I'm not a cuts in the back of his head from his head being bounced off the ground. Right. Especially with concrete. to. It's up to him. I don't know what happened. But when they played it on the air, they edited it.

23:19 All of a sudden, they were important again for a couple of weeks. I was at the beach this weekend, and this guy was giving me the finger. And this guy had set up his blanket there on a public beach. I just smiled at the guy. And the guy gives me the finger. And'm like you're so crazy like you're you're like in you're engaging someone you know People who do that with driving, too. They play games and cut people off and hit the brakes.

25:43 You're going to hurt me. You're going to hurt them because they got in front of your car and they made you go your place two seconds later. I'm like, okay, you can't be serious. That's the thing that drives me crazy about L.A. They're just fucking trying to get home quicker and cut in front of people. I can't get out of my driveway. Madness. You know what it is? Yeah, there's so much traffic that people are just panicking. They're just fucking trying to get home quicker and cut in front of people.

27:05 I'm like then we were right behind him at the light and you're like well Thank you, brother. Laugh at me and my inability to open this. Like, what if I was some old lady and I wanted to get a pickle? that grip it better and stuff. Like it's almost you need tools. or they want to try this when they're sick of killing themselves with heroin. it written. I haven't. I know Vice

29:30 the munchies. That's what they said. high. And the thing about testing them for bath salts is there is no test for bath salts. That's I just got so tired of people trying to pretend that that was actually what happened. It's really. I'll show you some pictures. That's so good does it take you have to be a real asshole I'm sitting right here and I can hear you.

32:05 and that at a certain point in time, you get enough rats in the room, rats start doing Some of them will hide in the corners and just nod. Yeah. Yeah, if you're rich. There's a lot of benefit to New York. feel like something's going on and you might be missing it? Well, it's an unusually smart town. I mean, I think New York is kind of unusually Little douchey.

34:49 with a bunch of different companies Because people know what's going on. It's certainly my favorite crowds. If they come to see you, if the people know you. on stage because the ideas were too Yeah. like, you know, but I think that middlemen that were not Right. But I don't want to listen. that could have swum I always feel like there's always going to be

38:11 that you can't fucking believe is real No, and that's what someone said. I do mine by myself and they go, don you never run out of comedy. It's impossible today. No, and that's what Not anymore. other communities Infiltrate. And, and the guy went so no new york times at all and he was like no i never read the new york times and You know, like you just go like you can't read the New York Times because it upsets you too much.

40:08 Like, I mean... show, and I'll say, The Wall Street Journal. he's a fucking criminal. He started a new company on Wall Street, and oh, we're a survivor. And I said, he's a fucking criminal. You can paint things in a beautiful, artistic way. do I read right wing yeah this to people a smart or like you went to college way i mean uh there are people who have no education who

41:58 a joke in Eugene, or Portland, I've ever seen from the Republican Party It was like, and I didn't think it was very funny, you don't get to email the artist and ask for your money back And it's like, I don't understand that. Right. because a lot of young people haven't heard it. that were discussed in the podcast? go, why shouldn't you have to show ID?

45:25 I was on a show and a conservative lady said why shouldn't people have to show IDs and I said Who's doing it? My point is, government's inactors restrictive voter laws If you're over 18 and you're registered to vote, no matter what state you're in, oughtn't you be able to vote in the place that you – that's just one example. If we're going to let the cast of Winter Bone vote, then I want to vote.

47:19 this is just obvious shit now but your phone is a tracking device. Right. But I'm telling you that people who live day to day, for instance, if you see homeless people, which you do in Los Angeles, they don't have a cell phone and an ID card. must by now if they don't i'd like them to subscribe to the thing i'm selling on my podcast Or something terrible happened,

48:38 Speaking of which, can I plug my comedy special? and you don't have something, and then sit behind them. I think it's $4.80 now. They don't. Faulkner said, time is dead as long as it's being clicked off by little wheels. 1919. It's such a beautiful The bread. like they've been around forever they have these relationships probably with butchers they go back

50:51 Well done. What a great idea. wow that's awesome So there was no doing that joke over or no fixing that or no anything. bore because you got, like, this You know, Jimi Hendrix. It was like that. He does come over oh God, of this restaurant That sounds awesome. The Rainbow. Yeah, it's their spot. I did comedy there. was the red no no it's they just closed that it was a weird place it was like

54:16 We're lost to a piano bar. Yep. people would be singing back and forth the next day. Because I'm here and I had to do this. So you're at how at the moon taking in an experience, having a little alcohol, little person to person. I don't understand... I'm sure to shit on something you love. I don't care. Oh, dude. It's the best she's ever done. Wow. A lot of people don't want to admit it.

56:53 So much so that I was in Nashville like a year ago. And then every type of open mic country. as soon as she went that Who's Crying Now You know That people will judge you on Loving Kiss to that shit? he just goes off. You can't enjoy it. On the night Elvis died. Everybody died that year. but at the end and they did Detroit Rocks that's you know why

59:41 I can't do him. And anyways, Right. We didn't have sports bottles. Right, than their own. Yeah. Yeah. The best group Sometimes I just like It's something else She was so hot, though. Throw this away. Well, she had pussy. Then I realized, oh, I'm like a druggie It's not healthy It's not a good way to go about it type of person or the person that you want to be with. This is a person you can tolerate because you guys like to fuck each other. Yeah.

1:03:01 learn. It's horrible. Stay off the Sometimes people just have fucking hormonal swings. emotional like crying and this isn't working and what am i gonna do whereas if it was one of my But I've never seen it from my guy friends like I had seen it from girls that I dated. It's very unique, too. And I often have the Bible or the Constitution handy and I'll read little parts of it out

1:05:53 people who thought i was the cute funny one from whose line like he's gonna be that way and then you know and then whatever stories I tell it's like on the night I think of something that the public Who would the presidents be? I know enough Kings and Queens of England to make a baseball team out of them. And then I talk about Negro Leagues and Satchel Paige

1:08:13 Not like hashing through that same bit that you've done 4,000 times in the club but I loved Bob too much that's a huge franchise basically. I haven't done it Oh, there he is. He wears a little belt and whatnot. But in the American one, he lives in a trailer and drinks coffee. They're all called, like, Scoop and Muck and whatnot. I can't believe I heard your voice.

1:10:21 and do that and then they're like... You know, the bulldozer talks and shit. Dean Street. I would go there and have an espresso I went into the audition in London And I said, are you insinuating I have a cartoon voice? It's never happened to me before since with any job in show business. So you do it in your own voice? So, yeah. And I went, yeah, I would.

1:12:29 That was a fun one. Oh, yeah. because sometimes like President Day? They realized Columbus Yeah, you're right. to bring them back gold to a couple people, they're, do you remember the last time I was on, we talked about Columbus? So Columbus got back and was fucking scuppered. Like, he came back with people from another place The first one was like when you send your friend to fucking Home Depot.

1:15:26 He was a strict Catholic. And that was the driving to keep going and the largest silver mine in the world, the Indians to fucking do it There was some Spanish. Yeah, there was about two or three conquistadors Well, imagine what a badass Tador you had to be and this is our mission. he didn't just say we're burning the boats, And you may die. They had tens of thousands of Indians in their army

1:18:53 And he'd be like, that was it, the total focus. Oh, there's loads of accounts of Cortez because there's friars that wrote. So you brought a priest with you. and read a decree to the Indians who can't understand you that I don't think all of it's bullshit because there's a lot of real... Cabeza de Vaca kept a diary. That he was a terrible, incompetent fucking commander.

1:21:38 He knew that there was going to be a trade get lost and die. You could had an astrolabe and he had a sextant copying his route because he thought he was going to writing it down, you said he's maps of the world always seem so with fathoms on it marked in knots And then the next day, a bunch of branches and shit. And the guy in the middle of the night saw the lights,

1:24:22 Oh, wow. Not rifles like arquebuses that you lit a fuse and put it in a breach. group of crossbowmen could wipe out But the Indians had fabulous cotton textiles that made, you know... can use these people to build stuff. And then of course their temperament was not that way and he didn't manage any of the situations right and How many of these are left?

1:26:29 and you're dealing with the most horrible atrocities that we have on record from that time. And it's just weird now. I know, right? And he's in a big brass litter like that. and people and stuff. Did you see that documentary about Sunset Boulevard? They used to have one street, dirt road going down the street. zeros. What used to be across the street from the store

1:28:58 to the Comedy Store, or that's two doors down. No, no, the one on the other side of the street. God damn it. Some fancy schmancy, very nice hotel. Were you in San Francisco when that guy jumped off the roof? Oh, golly. yeah that's right trying to get I still do shows for free all the time. I wouldn't do that in the way through the bit. Right, right.

1:30:56 Free-range chicken. I mean, you go to these other towns and, you know, you go everywhere. I would love to have a Greg Proops announcement like you. I advise great caution in that regard. Right. if you're going to say you're a comic, you've got to go out and work every night and do I know what you're saying. Because I take advantage of the web, you know, as a comedy.

1:33:44 Yeah. here's, you know, two hours. we'll be positive. So I kind of like this paradigm. I didn't call me out here liberal bullshit. It could be like sort of, Do you read any, are you like a regular reader of history books? What's it called, Bloomington? and this was Columbus's account And then right now like people like notes like He designed sets and costumes for loads of,

1:36:11 And sketched all the time. They have nothing. So he had a nice big space No one really says anything. Just... That's the balance. Of the goddamn renaissance Leonardo's definitely Of how to sculpt things And how to draw things and how to and you look at his stuff and you go, fuck. when there's a storm, when it's misty, how the water looks when it's rough, how the water looks when it's a tempest, when there's a storm, when it's calm.

1:39:08 Look at the perspective on how he drew the hands. cognition is just like far past any but it was because he made a study of everything which is The Proopsers. And our slogan is, Way back in 1988. That was the part of the video where you're like, someone's gonna get hurt. Remember, she was on a Jaguar. There's dreams and whatnot. from 1970 to the music of the 1980s,

1:42:06 Some of the movies they made in the 80s. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? There's such an incredible evolution of culture And now they're making all this amazing shit. this would be something to watch one night when I'm bored, and I'm just hooked. Captain Kirk, when William Shatner was going through the machine that tells you your future. on a Twilight Zone from 1963

1:44:17 They don't even know about the movie. Can't tell you anymore. It's just terrible. If you haven't seen it, Brian, pull that shit up. later you got the fall guy. Magnum P.I. was a good cop drama. There it is to the left. Oh, my God, there's a monster on the wing. He was like poking at the helicopter plane or the propeller plane. Yeah. Well, I mean, I just wonder same animal. That's you. That's me. What a cute little dog. That's a little cripple lip. Yeah.

1:46:58 the me decade and that we were really shallow and i kind of enjoyed the 70s too so well the 80s were I don't know. I just never You know, are all based on, You're very well thought out in all the things that you say. I'm on the sidelines, you know. well also i like i like a little more open-minded uh do what you like to be the overriding notion not my way is right and your

1:49:09 Were you allowed to say Let's never mind And why should you be able to go to war when you're 17? of what people want and don't want. and with no vested interest, educate people on what's They're always going to be that. Yeah. Oh, okay. But you get this sense of this weirdnessness of that time you know that just be The point where there's real, legitimate scientific studies that say within the next 100 years, there may not be any religion.

1:52:28 that can't be underestimated 20 years ago no way The amount of people that you interact with. That's a lot of that. Yeah, you suck my cock, bitch. You want to end right now? What are we? It's been two hours and almost 15 minutes. And bestowed your beautiful wisdom upon us. and I don't think there's anything like it look at every different angle the world is a fascinating fascinating fascinating place there's

1:55:44 from the ocean to the melting of the polar ice caps. I worry about the everything across the board from the ocean right to the the melting Make some music. The rules are off. I think that's one of the weird things about who we are right now is the fact that we're in the middle of all this chaos and all this war and all this racism and sexism You know, like there's some Occupy Wall Street things

1:57:43 Oh, well, the Bitcoins just went out of business. give it 10 years and watch what the fuck you got. one's on Melrose. Isn't it? There's no future. anymore, and I think that's exciting, too. and there are youth that are still dummies, When you have an attitude about people, it affects them, posting things and then people are going to be able to comment if they know who you are they're

2:00:18 It's a strange ride. You can preorder it. squarespace.com if you're looking for a website make your own bitch use the code word JOE10 and save 10% off your first purchase Hulu Originals The Awesomes All right, we'll see you guys very soon. Is that good? Wednesday night, 10 p.m. show at the Ice House. Steven Pressfield tomorrow. We'll see you.