Joe Rogan Experience #420 — Tom Rhodes, Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 During my day, Joe Rogan podcast my night, all day. They just get nationalistic over any cause. Potheads unite in that, you know, and that we know. She's got bad laws. The doctor said, don't worry about it. It won't transfer to the fetus. It's fine. If you I mean, really high. She didn't realize, I mean, really high. And you know what the doctor said? The doctor said, don't worry about it.

1:20 Your son might be writing poetry a lot earlier. You can feed them food that's kind of a little bad because their body just processed it. They actually feed them shells. Killing your own babies? you got to eat this. People feed chickens chickens, too. More respect for such a delicious little creature. cows. That's right. Really? And typically feeding cows the central

3:38 but they're not eating animals. And they get this horrible central nervous system. How do you say it? Yeah, they're like proteins. And mercury. You'd eat them like the fish on the cartoon? And I went to the doctor very little. But no, it's just eating sardines. Yeah. How about now? From Fukushima. We've never had this happen before. A big stinky nuclear hole in the ground.

7:04 We're so weird. Right. they were literally in the gym or in an area right there, and it started to click. They really just didn't know for sure that they were going to be able to shut the thing off. Yeah. Did you see that Oliver Stone And it covers Oppenheimer Well, the guy that invented the AK-47 said, Few people laughed. the prince that I suppose we all thought that

10:44 and then all of a sudden the nuclear bomb is here, and it's coming from your imagination? So like they were totally about to attack and it was this one guy's decision not to do it. Who used to sing that Eagle song? I mean, that's a big position of power. Did I ever tell you Larry Small? I don't remember. And he's a part of the Nagasaki blast. Boxcar.

12:53 You're an intellectual name dropper. I should be speaking this way, of course. you know, I find your plane very offensive And when the bomb was dropped, the Japanese surrendered, that the plane felt like someone was beating it That must have fucked them up too, right? know how much time i have but we were talking about it. Stay positive and keep trying to accomplish stuff because there's not a whole lot of time

15:30 and that a lot of that money could be educating and feeding really poor Russian people. It was really interesting. And Reagan just was the cowboy actor. MiGs. So the Soviets very quickly realized that they were not going to be able to compete Usually the people that I was around looked a little bit differently than I did. All of them at the same time.

18:30 about 10 years ago. I think things were way bleaker The Mongols came through Moscow in the winter. What are you, a fucking educator? Problem was, you can get about six days in, and that's when your water starts to run out. And then when you'd turn around all parched, they'd wait until you were about a day from home. to teach them how to do these things.

20:25 stealing and looting and killing. They started doing that to their own women. They started doing The demise of the Mongol people apparently you start... there was a bunch of issues so they were never the same man if anybody is interested in it, Sweet. million people. Wow. They killed everyone. everywhere. God damn. And the smell was on my podcast if they were really that bad.

23:06 And if you go there now, I just got back from China on Monday. She wouldn't give me the change. How did that go down? I never got it back. My friend, my good friend. So it's in my little Beijing video. your legs and you push it forward to go fast and pull it back to slow down. And it's thrilling. There's some Chinese soldier soldier communist guys with like military

25:54 And that's how avoid the Mongols at the top. I want to see the Mongol footage. I want to see that broad You look long and go out. $1. Change. Where's my change? And then we're even. That's what it sounded like to me. Watch this, look. No, like 10 Chinese is like $1. She's kind of like... She slapped you with her knuckle. She'd probably eat you. Yeah, you won.

28:04 They'll give you the highest price. But some people like that. Why can't you just give me the price? I don't have any energy to haggle. But some people love it. They can walk away knowing that they saved $5 or whatever. There's a financial instrument that reflects that. And for some reason, this guy, the guy that coordinated the shows, What are they asking you?

30:29 You look like Steven Seagal. He's a good-looking guy. Sorry, Todd. Steven Seagal. It was ridiculous. He goes, what's the... And this is, I'm on live television. All I could get over in this video is And then from there, there's nothing but a breeze. No wonder why alimony laws are in the their ass do something that it never does in real life. Well, first of all, that's the most genius thing because you can get, guys will spend,

34:06 It doesn't do anything to me. Yeah, it's like a man who's really good at the trapeze. Oh, I see what you're saying. No, no. Yes, I am. I don't give a shit. You forget that in moments banging ass. I think there's an evolutionary thing for that, though. going to be able to make it. I think an arched foot is very sexy. Yeah. Can you do it for me? For me?

36:49 115, 120. and especially in Hollywood, like on Melrose, They're angels. That's silly. The lower part of their ass. It completely ruins our ability to form rational thoughts and figure out what we really want to do. We don't need to be staring at ass all day. No doubt. They smell each other. that but i could have been another one of those i've read articles that's one of the problems

39:35 that's where you should get the bulk of your information. Wow. And one of the things he said is during Rome, Rome was – had conquered so much of the world. the Roman Empire was crumbling from the inside out. that there's a guy was a creation, There's that. When you try to scroll backwards, it just resets the page. So it's like you could find whatever you want to find.

42:58 And for some reason, wasn't that why he permitted Christianity in Italy? Yeah, he decided to accept the idea. He permitted Christianity in apparently I mean, their statues were muscular. They'd bang your wife, right? it's interesting how powerful and Help the needy Those ideas are all like ideas that everyone has Let's write that shit down. where the fuck it came from.

45:34 to Latin to Greek, because they had numbers I've traveled all over the world. Did he really? I see the writing on the wall I guess he got really Christian For years. To all sorts of things, man. I don't know where they came from, but the fact is they lasted. was the idea that, yes, tribes will say that about each other, the Mongols and everybody else.

48:47 Eat a pot brownie. Like the Bible gave it form. They would celebrate during the summer solstice and the winter solstice. Come on. He wasn't born in July or in December. It wasn't the first therapy. have to fry in hell congratulations go see a few of these and we got all the information we need And he had to leave wherever he was. It's a total 100% position of power and control.

51:37 He just... of it. You get absolved. Italian city dropper. That's what I do. that it was just over there. Yeah, we know about that. That was the penalty box. shit that they just invented. Mythology. worth, for example. The idea Their whole mindset and all these things that we just accept in our reality. the Americans described the fish and the Chinese didn't. The fish were just a part of, they

55:34 They tried to figure out when from the idea of when he was conceived and to go from there. He's looking on the internet again. There's a lot of debate on this. era, or a new creation, Duh. Duh. Please. And so the first day, I just walked and walked and wanted to soak uh as much I had, you know, somehow got some ecstasy or whatever. Life of a comic.

59:18 I was going to say. Nobody deserves to be alone except for you, Beautiful. I mean, that was in fact... attached to it, right? So if you're going to go by the word of God, the oldest shit you can get None of this shit is relevant. Allegedly Joe Rogan's going to hell because he was magic. The Gallup poll most recent that they did in like the late 2000s

1:02:36 You always hit no thanks. That's a good name for it. You believe in this one guy's and just very misunderstood. Constantly telling everybody how to live their life. A large percentage. But the idea is that atheism is on the rise. You know, Iowa and shit like that, like wrestlers, In a way, that's maybe where a lot of boxers find solace Is GSP religious?

1:05:53 I think the guy is just an amazing representative of martial arts. Than any fighter ever. in the lead up to this fight was how difficult And then a couple really hard uppercuts judge a fight on. You know, look, Johnny blasted his leg over and over again with knees So he's hit him he hit him with horrible fucking elbows when he was trying to take him down

1:08:14 Look at his face, too. Yes, but I think that there's going to come a time when George is going to have to retire. just the pressure of being at the top. with his eyes. You know, and also it turns out that George is getting sued by his ex-manager. went out in a fight that most people believe he won. There were so many great fights. I always think I always think that, like, Pacquiao and Mayweather not.

1:10:41 Roberto Duran. They looked the same. like those old pictures of him, Boom Boom Mancini, his favorite fighter, Roberto Duran. he got kicked up and coming kid who Oh, my God. but there's a lot of padding, like when a knuckle hits you, And Aaron Pryor, like I said, you know, And he went out there, coked up. so I'm reading about this you know these fights in like the 19 teens and you know

1:13:55 Well, the idea was that he took a dive. Firpo knocked. And then also in that fight, he's knocking Furpo down and he's standing over him. down why why you let him get up again? and he lived in But he was just pure badass. He worked on the railroad tracks when they would lay the railroad. Well, that's what it used to be like in America. Fight fans might know.

1:16:34 like if he was, Because he jabs and hangs on. very hard to beat them. They just jab the shit It's really like one left, one shot. Yeah. He'll uppercut and then maybe come over to the right, but that's it. Oh, no, no, no. He's a frontrunner. He's a frontrunner and all that. He. Zab Judah. He was talking about Zab Judah. He's a different fighter. He's a frontrunner.

1:18:13 he was saying that to you? run his mouth. how to just pot shot you, hit there's no upside to eating out of a straw was a bad motherfucker but he's got problems from fighting they all do look at freddie roach he's and show what he can really do, And then you also look at the one that he's taken 50% of the shots in the last three fights. that we watch. But the best

1:20:24 a certain amount of time as long as you're careful, as long as you have good defense, That does not count the number of times Look at his face right now. It's not cool. you know, I'm like, I don't think anything's worth that. obviously not a neurologist. and it should be approached very carefully. Chuck Liddell is the perfect example. Chuck liddell used to have a fucking iron jaw it was one of the things that was so scary about him is that he could knock you out and it was really

1:23:02 Like what he did to Tito. This is a ferocious attack. He beat guys that Of course. And his brain just wouldn't let him do it anymore. Not as bad. And if he connects, see you later. What a body, by the way. Built like a superhero. there's some Mark Hunt type dude that could come from a whole long It's a bad motherfucker. And I took my car there one day and he wasn't there.

1:26:39 A lot of guys aren't until you get them pissed off, Yeah, he was a murderer, dude. Ouch. that he had when he was 20, he would be dominating again today. knocked him out. So there was a lot going on with Chuck. He didn't care. And the swarm is coming, bitch. God, look at him knocking out Randleman. Is that Randleman? He's one of the main reasons why the UFC became so successful.

1:29:31 This was already after Chuck had probably, you know, That's on the wall, this fight, a big picture of it. But to me, it was like such a classic because this was the fight that we always wanted to see. He knocked out Randy like Randy was charging at him, This is the one. that takes your fucking face off. I like that you described him one time the greatest way you went.

1:31:36 But ultimately, his wild, reckless nature led to him taking quite a few shots. You know, he's got, like, a great gig in the UFC now. I didn't know that. Dana still gets crazy. and fights with people on Twitter such an edge, that guy. Stop your stupid nonsense. That goes against the reason of having a podcast. Yeah. Listen, bail on that stupid gig. Do you have a network?

1:34:08 You can use my office. This doesn't make any sense. Boom. It's that easy. You don't need I mean, look, yeah, you definitely can. You can You don't have to work. I do it real small. I have. Nobody gets to tell me what to do. You can have commercials too. Right. You just don't let them tell you what to do. It's like, I don't have anybody telling me what to do, so I don't have commercials. You can have commercials, too. Right. You just

1:35:59 If you don't swear, I don't want to talk to you. Including the corporate... They're not allowed to talk about this shit. No, I hear great things, though. And I hear Yeah. I mean, they believe some wacky shit, but they're nice. November 29th or 30th. Oh, I'm sorry. You and I have been friends for fucking God knows how long. and all the people, like stars from the show, from each show would come across the stage.

1:38:08 They were nice people for the most part, but they're all actors. And you looked at me and you were such an established comic and you Cause I went, You didn't have to say that. You just went out of your way. You don't remember The warrior spirit, man. I don't look at it in terms of like an old warrior or a young warrior. I've met a lot of people that really loved stand-up

1:39:47 I'll tell you why. howling crickets. Everybody else is like, imagination, kid. You're going to go a long way. I wanted to tell you about this guy, Des Bishop, man. So, like, I did shows in Beijing with him at this really cool place called The Bookworm. How many Chinese comedians are there? You could steal the shit out of people's ass. Yeah, and he was becoming really popular, but then it got out, what he had done.

1:42:23 It's amazing. That's incredible. Like back when I started, I think there's way more originality and edginess and dark humor. That kind of thing. on Twitter. Every fucking day, your Facebook at you. But it's just harder to find clubs in a lot of places. There's a Funny Bone. you're impulsive, you do stupid shit, you drink, you do drugs. I call that period killing and obscurity when When you're just like killing and you're not selling tickets.

1:45:48 Like, you know, you could be... Joey Diaz was absolutely murdering it and no one knew. You're fucking hilarious, dude. things that you've done, and there's still a lot of people that didn't hear about you yet. And you go, well, you know, it's different. You can get people to your shows a lot easier. They enjoy your work. spot. These people know serious

1:48:14 are, they don't have guidance and they don't have a responsible older male to teach them I've got to make sure I know it. And one more truth. Talking shit. 8 million people that's the thing are totally by the way. Two seconds later, we got the list. Sure could I. meow, meow, meow, meow, I could listen to that Does he? What happened to Axl Rose? That's what happened to Madonna.

1:51:01 Can you imagine being Lady Gaga? It just got crazier and crazier. He was really conservative, like people thought. Well, you remember that Bob Crane guy from Hogan's Heroes? Who he was banging girls with. Autofocus? No, no. So I think that Lady Gaga should also be implicated for treason. A little bit. How dare you. how long he's wanted The guy was,

1:53:51 they keep him in solitary they kept him in solitary. it might just be like check check out what we're going to put about you in the news you know look because it's changed our whole idea of what the government is. It's amazing how things have changed. It's a good Obama impersonation, sir. All of that. that were powered by the motion of the building.

1:56:23 It was Operation Paperclip. for crimes against humanity. And they were talking about how they would see him He was a Nazi. TV, polish them up, give them a haircut, arising in the early 30s Or a German invention. They did all kinds of shit over here. It was also a race for world domination. If it wasn't for that Bhagavad Gita-quoting motherfucker that was crying earlier, if it wasn't for him, somebody else. We got it. That's right. We all die of fire. If it wasn't for that Bhagavad Gita quoting motherfucker that was crying earlier, if it

1:59:36 The Manhattan Project was basically a race to get the bomb before they did. We got 1,800 technicians and scientists along with 3,700 family members. They flee. There's so many. I'm Italian and Irish on my mother's side But that's where a lot of people went and hid out Not a bad place to go down to, too. The women are beautiful. they're having problems. Get this. So Columbia has a lot of those video chat things and guys

2:02:30 Oh, video chat. Scamming old men. You know, like they had an email exchange He's a dummy. Oh, he's dumb as fuck. But he's also just sad and old and lonely. There should be guidelines. Oh, boy. Before he died, And in that one-year period, he went off the rails. So they would come to visit him on the weekends or when they could, people do that they say people go to funerals like that just so they can be

2:05:13 I remember my grandmother, and that was it, man. it's just gonna not be here i'm gonna just be gone you're gonna be'm going to just be gone. You're going to be gone. She's going to be gone. And so, I mean, you never, life just seems like some endless thread. Oh. Both of them are senseless. The incidence of breast cancer in Japan was very, very low.

2:07:12 Tim Ferriss went to where they live the longest in Okinawa Right. I'm totally agreeing with what you're saying. They were marble. They were dying of old age. Well, the conclusion was probably that they had such strong community, And it was such a strong community. It's everything. like, I'm never quitting. I'm never gonna stop. I worked with him. My dad was such a comedian. My dad loved comedy and he had Richard Pryor albums. And so I used to listen to them. My dad was such a fan. He had

2:10:42 at the comedy store. But it was still and because i knew i could recite them and he would laugh and that was uh i knew it would kind I always felt that way. What a joy. He's got to call in. I can't wait. No, I'm just constantly booked. My wife loves it. That's a very rare thing. When you're living on a fucking couch and couch to couch and living in people's, you know, sleeping with friends' couches and cars.

2:13:36 It's just like, it's awesome. It's about, no. 50? 50-50. I don't know. You talk to him about it. He might be being theatrical. with time off. And then like in June, we went to Key West for a couple weeks. I love Rome. Yeah. For five years. In English, and it was subtitled in Dutch. a little memorabilia and stuff. high school with who's an old friend of mine you and her got into like this insane argument i

2:18:14 Yeah. So I let him set up his band stuff in my living room. In an apartment? I don't remember it very much, man. It was from a small little town, Oviedo, Florida. No, no, no. You were one of the first people to enlighten her. This is not true. I'm like, what the fuck are you? Right. is an arena where they're constantly going to auditions, where there's this weird social thing

2:21:50 It's all about getting someone to like you. You're not on the team. I forget what he calls him. it's starting to get up there in age for an actor or whatever, and him telling me one night the I'm getting out of show business story. uh all the phone is he so the guy he you know because nothing had gone on for him he hadn't Whoa. What a mutt thing to say.

2:24:28 And I'm just being a smartass. Oh, God, that anger. I knew a guy in my acting class. but there was a guy, really good guy, No. And it was big. That's like the male equivalent of that. He is a good guy. I like Jay too. I'm not kidding. You made me take down my dream wall. It's like, who says you can't swear, and why are you doing it with somebody? Don't have it.

2:27:46 Didn't work. The law of attraction. right around the time that What the Bleep and her life was going to be from here on out just because you can touch things Right? How's everything? I keep having these bad people in my life. You can study kung fu on a mountain. There's a reality. and you can't score a ball, I lost 30 to nothing, three fucking games in a row.

2:31:32 There is some aspect that requires a positive approach and confidence and thinking and and keep going. When you go on stage, like every time you go on stage like every time you go on stage you've done it before you've conversations i've had in a long time was with an author named Dan Coyle who wrote a book called The Talent Code. Dan Coyle. And he kept meeting the same coach over and over again.

2:33:35 Well, Dan Coyle takes it to another... No, it's just the way she disseminates information. and I watch how little children, we're talking about five-year-olds, because that's based on the first thing so they're standing there like staring And we don't do it. And my very good friend of mine, Hunter Motz, who wrote this book, The Straight-Aid Conspiracy, is all about that. This motherfucker is friends with all these authors.

2:35:48 I mean, he's such a badass. Discipline. Maturity. Spending a lot of time at 185 pounds, now dropping down to 170. Unbelievable. ferocious i was so impressed with rory especially in the first round about how he avoided robbie's He's super technical. He's 24 years old. That would be madness. Tyron Woodley is a fucking monster, man. I don't know. Good luck.

2:38:41 Hits like a freaking mule kick. They were ridiculous. was or how good he was nate nate is when when i talked to brendan and train with him for eight Wilson Govea. what are you going to do? You've been competing since you were nine No doubt. I think that substituting all that you get from that is very, very difficult, man. Yeah. You'd try to figure out

2:41:01 They start to have these breakdowns, start to have you know, until – It's always been the deal with athletes, great football players Like what's going to happen in the future if the consequences of fighting are not as extreme? You've got to be obsessed. Exactly. I had this van that didn't have a radio in it, And driving around by myself, I would get all my material.

2:43:32 Like the other day, I came up with something. Yeah. You've got to show up. Amazing. Aubrey's read his nonfiction stuff. to just work, or creating a film. to end this, Yes, apparently I'll be in Wise. especially Tom Rose. Follow them on Twitter as well. Go to Stamps.com. I never know where I put them on my folder. We use it here at the Joe Hogan Experience.

2:46:39 Brian Callen and I, Last time we were in Montana. And we love the fuck out of you people