Joe Rogan Experience #424 — Brody Stevens Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. You scared the private. Want me to turn off this monitor? Shut them both off. I'm just seeing that one. It's kind of just a joke. I'll wear it on a podcast. just kind of say I wanted to What is the show? big mac combo and she guys keep them off well i was going to show you the trailer if you wanted

3:05 This is a true story. I went in there and ordered a chocolate Frosty, which at the time wasn't But anyway, going through the drive-thru, I get my drink and my food, the Double Double, and she reaches out and she goes, enjoy, same restaurant fast food well i guess she just Yeah, Wendy's you feel like you're getting a little bit. It's more country. And as a kid, I have all these photos of me on his lap,

4:50 Because I was like three or four. And I just... you just come up with funny stuff. It's like, Brody, no, you're going to have to take the game off. Is that what it is? Yeah, supporting your Or is this just something that you just sort of picked up along the way? Jesus, Brody, you spilled all over yourself. But you know what? You're a very smart guy in that respect.

7:17 Yeah, against the Lakers the other night. Oh, it does? Yeah, because, like, say if you're fighting a grappler and you come out completely soaking wet, like literally stripping wet, Like, it's a big deal. One of the things that guys have done is they, it's been rumored, that they lie in mineral baths at night. They're not technically illegal because they are clean.

9:13 but it was for a long time, because he was rubbing Vaseline on guys. They were saying that they were doing this... it was intentional is you know only he knows that okay Okay. But what he was doing was this voodoo move with Vaseline on his hand. Yeah. Yeah, but they don't let him do it anymore. But you know what? MMA will never be that. And it does. Two dudes

11:39 through things and trying to overcome. Yeah, no shit. You watch too much. Don't lie to America, Brody Stevens. I like. Then stay for a few innings and then You would say it simple. I would think not, only because, yeah, I got to play baseball. I enjoyed that, yes, having that. because I wasn't a top guy, so I didn't get the instruction from the coaches

14:37 I just said I want to become the best pitcher I could be and work on my mechanics. You know, is their motion going to be where they're not going to hurt their shoulder or hurt their arms? and some philosophies that have variations on that. You don't have to show baseball games. It's just the alumni game. My ERA was three-point-something. Yeah, that's kind of what it was.

17:29 Right, but it's an elective surgery on some guys. Yes. And I had surgery too. student athletes looking for a way to get extra boost It says that? Okay. like one of these kids in high school, and maybe Because. with it, but a lot of people also think it's the training. Because you hurt your elbow, you're I think it's yet to be known if a guy who elects to do it in high school

21:10 I think it makes your arm stronger. They're talking about getting this done. No, it's not good. and it'll take up to a year to recover, It's my opinion. I had chronic injuries in my elbow. My elbow wasn't getting better. I had bad mechanics. I A lot of people agree with you apparently also about the rehabilitation, Yeah, I think it's actually pretty controversial.

24:18 So if you have bad mechanics and you get this elective surgery ahead of time, Guys who have ACL reconstructions, they blow it out all the time. Great fight. I think Burrell beat somebody else for the title. And he blew out his knee, I guess his left, one of his knees, I was incorrect. It's crazy. He's like a will-o'-the-wisp. I had it done on my neck.

27:15 They take a lot of it, like almost a liter. So they're waiting until they're injured to do it. It's really amazing stuff. to get your body to heal itself. What will they have? No. Where you could see it will show up several percent. Exactly. It is good for you? But it also improves performance, without a doubt. and it helps them recover. You're trying to get your body to respond.

31:26 You will be better than ever. can he take creatine? But why not? No. super freak? The real question people if they go online. If they go online and they're curious, they're going to find what No, they have guys who claim to be natural, but there's a lot of those guys used to do steroids. He said this guy was ripped and striated, Well, I think when you're dealing with a sport that essentially requires it at the professional level,

34:30 who are just naturally giant. I don't want to be that way. Brian laughs. Some people think I am, but no, I'm not a loose cannon. No. No, it was just like I something happen recently? Only recently? No. I don't think they are. say thank you to everybody, have emotions, some tears. have to be i'm brody i do this why are you not laughing i get to like stay in the pocket on stage

38:16 I'm not. you wouldn't. I'm not really into space I don't I felt at times I had to explain myself to others. You don't have to. I felt at times I had to explain myself to others. I feel more relaxed. You don't need to gloat, man. Everybody's path is unique. Why do you say that? What does he do? I've been lucky. are suing her she's being sued for gender discrimination and she says that the suit is

41:36 from a position of power, being the How many people are probably picking up an Archie comic now? So how does she respond to that? you owe. So she can shit on you, ruin your life, ruin your day, call you a penis at work, But when you have someone who's yelling out Okay, I hate her already. That's what I do. Frequently inquires about the location of a handgun and 750 rounds of ammunition she believes her late husband kept in the office.

45:09 The case was settled, with the parties agreeing to hire a go-between, Samuel Levitin, to facilitate Just give her an office full of fucking slumpy, Well, I don't know. I don't know what She's awesome. Maybe I would think that to intimidate the employees If that shit happened, You know, about that but I think Someone running around yelling penis, penis, penis.

47:15 Huh. Have you watched Birdie's new show yet? I had Red Band sign your waiver. I mean that. I just didn't. But for you, you're one of the early comedians there in 2000 to say, I'm funny. When you're coming up, you get that boost from somebody that you like. It's very inspirational when someone comes up to you and gives you some props you know and give and

49:40 Because even if you have confidence, boy, how much confidence do you really have if it hasn't happened yet? But it was this thing where you're trying to figure it out and make it work. I had a couple TV, small little TV. All right. But then when I had some extra credits, I took an acting class. I would make the other, like the volleyball team laugh or the track and field.

51:59 But I liked the feeling. It was like, okay, I think it's in me. Sandy Seashore. So she actually helped me, and it gave me that structure, and then I did one open mic. The three things I got out of it were one um people thought it was funny you know made me feel like it didn't matter about my jokes I'm a comedian now. And so I went to that open mic and it was just, I could feel the desperation.

54:17 Danny Robinson. Yeah. Go to a smaller Yeah, but I would have agreed with that advice, and I've given that advice before, but I don't think it's necessary anymore. decide whether or not to put you on television. put your shit up online and because of that because of phones recording sets so many people's Where'd you work at? I don't know. I'm not sure which one, but it was just an outrage through the comedy community.

57:13 before he brought the guy up. No, by people who were there. Low ceiling, all that. I mean, Joe, what would you Ari Shaffir turned into a stand-up. the comedy store Okay. You don't think so? That's an exception to the rule, I would think. Okay. Comedy Magic Club, That's why you've got to go maybe to, I'm not going to say a Boise, They have a serious scene.

1:00:30 What I'm saying is I don't know if you have to anymore. What would be a blue-collar room? At the Universal. I've done it there a bunch. They do podcasts now also. glove box yeah i got a dent from you think they. Do you think they do that? Of course they do that. They do all the time. Do you feel because it's you, they go out of their way to do it? I did it.

1:02:14 He put them on the front seat underneath their seat that got stolen. It's a sin. That's a good move. Because, like, isn't, like, learning, like, one of the most important parts of life? Your wife's going to be like, what? How far? I'm not going to be happy that you fucked your cousin. Jerry Lee Lewis did that, didn't he? It was brought up in a... It goes back to you again, Brody.

1:04:46 If you're telling someone who writes for Salon, you're in. What if you don't see them that often? I think a cousin is too close. has your name? I don't bother. But no, it doesn't bother me. There's no real health risk posed There's already some divergence in genetics, a mixture of those. No, with royalty. Royal people I'd love royal blood. You shouldn't say that. They're going to come get you. You been shitting on the Amish, I bet, are inbred. And a lot of people in, like, West Virginia. You shouldn't say that.

1:07:41 It's called, like, rumple still skin or some shit. use electricity? generalizing, sir. I didn't say the F word, and I said just that show. I don't think you said messed up. after the Rumpelstiltskins. is a period of adolescence where some members of the Amish community, which i think was originally started by martin luther in the 1500s there's a But, I mean, it wasn't, like, available to the public.

1:10:09 calling the hotel. My room doesn't seem to have a Bible in it. You think you could send someone up? culture, because people started reading it to the Bible but you really have to rely on each other and go out there and hunt for food. Yeah. That was a fascinating What was the fucking movie? There's a lot of different versions of it. Look at this. Devil's Playground. 1928.

1:12:31 That's the one. and they smoke cigarettes and get crazy and use electricity. should I say it? Think about it too much. I think it steals your soul. They blur all that out. Oh, my God. I'd never ever want to do that. And based on these factors and experiences and thought processes, we came to the number of 10% gay. What does that mean? Does that mean you're ten percent

1:15:14 Go get me a beer. A cigar? We go back. of scrubs before you. A couple chairs. Brody would bring chairs on stage And you'd go, come on! You read a room sometimes and you gotta you should tell us about what happened in Thailand. It's Without giving too much away People are going to want to examine this from every angle. You go to an area where they have all these different

1:18:55 They smell good. It's fun. So I didn't really pursue it there, but I thought about it. it's not what you said it's the reason why i stopped you so i want this to be i mean at that You walk like a gay kid. Wait a minute. Three percent, yes. Which one's down, which one's up? A chiropractor. That's what it feels like. But I'm not sure if it works. From a dude?

1:23:40 But not, like, for a baseball team. is Jesus of Hollywood No, I haven't seen him, and down Sunset? This guy's actually cool. Go away. They were like blonde kids from a church. They were so lost. In the public? Why doesn't he start a business? Isn't it funny that you have to ask? he just wants to make people happy. That's a good angle. He's a good guy.

1:26:50 Can you see my soul? Mostly to comments. No, you're not. By the end of this story, we're going to be at 86%. And I had the chance. back. Wouldn't you say you would have to say you went I mean, what do you define as a gay experience? That doesn't make any sense. Have guys been fooled? You don't even listen make any sense You don't even listen to people

1:29:00 Here's the reality of transsexuals Brian come on man the internet you can't do that you're gonna ruin everything for Yes. Even if you're not in Thailand. I won't be, I'll let her give me a massage comes with having a negative aspects of prostitution. And then also as a father, you start thinking, well, But when you think about a woman, most likely you're thinking about someone being sexually manipulated and someone being taken advantage of and objectified.

1:32:01 And then wanted to be. that they're telling the truth. And when I've was when he was allowed to be a man. You have to define this. many people that say that they chromosome women. And I think that's the that's not, I think that's the beginning of like the ability to manipulate the human genome, the ability Or a really beautiful ladyboy. How about she comes with special goggles?

1:35:01 There's three people on the planet. And those two people are going to die Is that okay? So if and when, obviously I'm talking about on the podcast, I don't know from America Yeah, but this is personal public. I've heard of stuff. I'm... Right. I didn't see an Adam's apple. And we did a segment where the guy got strapped to a table. And the transgender does a dance for this guy.

1:37:48 Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. penis was just a regular looking penis on a beautiful woman with breasts, good Okay. There you go Do you know? I would wonder if there's some stats for that as far as women to men transgenders, like Buck Angel. So you can tell us as much as you want about this experience, or you can end right here. You've actually already said it on a podcast before, and we got you up to 12% gay.

1:40:32 You can ask me a couple more questions and we'll move on. At home What are you working at Chernobyl? and I did love in the movie or whatever. Let me take it from here. First of all, Jake Gyllenberger. You'd have to laugh a little. I'm not saying the scene aroused you. I never saw the movie. who get talked into blowing crafty gay guys. Heath Ledger.

1:44:10 Fuck it. Got talked into it. Oh, I thought you said I want to. What do you think when you're walking up those stairs? This is my big chance. I don't need to go into detail, but I pushed it to the limit. Well, that didn't happen. meteorite impact. Many other Touch this I did not I'll be honest Some stuff. I tried, you know, touch this. Probably, what is that?

1:46:52 the ass? No, I wasn't. I never did, nor do I want to, take my face and put it in a man's ass. And I'm in Bangkok, and I go, well, people say I'm gay. Is it hard, at least? Whatever. Their clit extends. It's like when Okay, but when you saw it... and every time you get to a doorknob or doorway, meditative device. I don't even want to touch it Arizona State.

1:49:47 It was a girl Is it when you I guess it's just What's a girl's name? Becky Stevens. But did you know that there's queer? And the queer one is they want to be whatever they want to be. I like it. All we need is more stories. getting him up to 25%. 25? What I'm offering you is a fluctuating scale of gayness. Yes, you do. You're going with prison simply because that's the only place we have no options as sexual partners.

1:53:20 you're like pretending. That's not what happened, Brody. I would say definitely 25. Can I say something? You can say whatever you want, but let's be real. And I'm going to get hammered on TV for this. The only people that will despise you because of this are assholes. Fuck them. decide, release the comedians that have gone down to Brazil We've got at least 20 minutes left of this podcast.

1:55:54 Was it on Ecstasy? All right? I said, let's see how far I can go. I don't think about a guy I didn't have any. If that even, from my recollection, no. I'll talk about whatever you want regarding this. and it freaks me out. But let me say this. But the fact that we just talked about this here does make me feel better. I don't agree with them. But I do, and I love you, and I don't care.

1:59:10 and he was sucking your dick, that would be a completely different Do you believe in God? But I think science is discovering new things every day. I don't. It's amazing that this happened. fucking madness and then the fact that inside every black hole might be another universe, supernovas A river's impossible. the fact that we have laptops that are a fucking inch thin and contain gigabytes of data,

2:02:10 I'm an atheist or whatever. I like to think I'm more spiritual. I am. It's not a good idea for me personally to believe in anything We had him on the podcast. fuck is going on i trust them for sure that they're telling the truth. It's not like It's been proven that there were certain pieces of work, of religious work that There's so many different things going on.

2:05:15 to really decide that you know how There seems to be some fucking pretty clear laws to this place. He's just such an interesting, creative guy. Have you met him or had him on the podcast? is like the secret to life itself, in the theories, these quantum theories that these guys are creating, People have tried to figure out what is reality itself. I'm not into that.

2:08:59 How long did you last, though? I was drunk off Diet Coke. How many beers? When I'm drunk, I can't cum. And I was pleased with what I did. If I have a big fucking load that comes out of me, I to look at it. If I have like a big fucking load when I see my boogers. even though you're not supposed to. Oh, great. Science. There's a condom. Thank you. If he doesn't have that fucking shirt on, no one's going to know who he is.

2:11:20 It just happened. I wouldn't say it was good You know, I went gluten-free, but that's one thing I miss, man. You went to have fun. Who cares? do you use the, you should say that if they say I'm sure I'm going to have to deal with some negative stuff You're my people. Nobody lost a lot of weight for this role. The first guy He goes, Pull up that. No.

2:14:11 Okay. I think I read it in the 90s. When he got hit by a car, all of a sudden, different guy. him playing music. and he got in a motorcycle accident. And he'd never had that before. think? Well, it depends entirely is louder than hell it wasn't even actually on cd was on cassette uh-huh and it's really hard to get There's no way you can keep up. He was going hard, man.

2:17:11 And they fucking spread out. special better, and then depending on how much other stuff they're doing on the side. So who would be somebody, not the opposite of Sam, somebody who kind of turned it around a little bit or... David Tell constantly maintains, constantly adds on. I'll tell you what. notice any like bad energy or these guys are punks or white trash or tough or whatever. I had fun.

2:20:16 He had a meltdown and, you know, was just sitting there and smoking a cigarette My experience, my little stage that I would do for every city, It's Thursday night. about 55 minutes. They're great. Occasionally you would hear someone, Yeah, it's weird, though, to go on after a musical act. 15 minutes? And then maybe after eight or nine minutes, the curtain drops,

2:23:30 got better. He's in one of the commercials for that De Niro Stallone thing. Anything can get to you. but what I really mind is when stand-up doesn't work that well. there stay there. Stay there. I believe podcasting is cross-training and oddly enough i think that um podcasting and stand I just like it. I just like it. I like watching technique. So when I see, you know, if I watch,

2:26:32 man. The highest level kickboxers what I get out of that is I get out when you're watching the best guys in the world do something, And then you're obviously in the octagon after you're feeling that. And that helps you have a better empathy for these guys. in martial arts and in martial arts competition. No, it's definitely, definitely stuff that's fixable.

2:28:53 and over again and hoping for a different result. mittens you're dead right that was issue. Mittens are dead right. He likes to squeeze down on all the fingers. because of the size of the gloves itself. anything goes. he was the first guy in the UFC besides Tank Abbott. You don't have to worry about protecting your knuckles. poked. Every Sunday, 9 o'clock at night.

2:31:59 You said 9 o'clock. I'm going to come back, though, and then we'll talk. From the network that doesn't do drama... You'll be doing all right if you get some jokes. Brody offstage and onstage, not much of a difference. New episodes. Yeah, it's because there's a lot of drama in it, I guess. Stink? Yeah, the word reality show because. It avoids the stink of reality show. Stink?

2:34:20 Well, that's why we can call it a drama. I mean, there is drama, but there's also comedy. I don't know who's going to be with me. Phil Demers. and training a walrus No, I'm going to Crest Theater, December 13th with Tony Hinchcliffe. 98% confirmed. I'll be at the Aquafresh Theater. Thank you, Red Band. Thank you, everybody. Thanks also. months with your subscription. That's

2:37:22 Lots to come. Lots of cool people I don't know.