Joe Rogan Experience #429 — Lee Camp Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! Why are the girls that work there so fucking hot? Praise the Lord. What's her name? Play this because this is how I found out about Lee. It's just a festival of ignorance. Love your family. We're also talking about Captain Kirk this morning. I'm the star of the show. the Starship Enterprise. and the way he was able Yeah.

2:14 It was almost like it was scripted. fucked you yeah he wanted to you could see in his face as he read the The fucking entire banking system had to be bailed out by taxpayers' money. This is what we want you to talk about this week. I think it's ratings. I mean, you don't get to that point. was kind of a rebel at one point Was he? Well, you see, the ones that actually stick to their guns, they don't last long.

5:15 just a bullshit propaganda wing, that they're capable of that kind of behavior. of shit that's going on they're not reporting a lot of shit and i feel like all these networks for like 10 years? science, about the real reality We were talking about that the other day at the comedy club. This guy, the EPA's highest paid employee and a leading expert in climate change,

7:30 Protecting America. than it is anything. What can I tell you? to impress chicks. That's the thing. You weren't really working on climate change. If we don't allow it, then we're going to lose a lot of the people that would be with us against this child. Website eFucked? Because we all know that the natural tendency of human beings is to escalate. you're going to try to take that thing to the highest level.

10:09 And where do you use that? I mean, it's really like an old muscle car. What was it? A hundred nuclear bombs would destroy if we're gambling you want to go to 500 five thousand dollars to betting a dollar and getting thrilled you won't care you get addicted to that rush, you can't take that back. You can't go from $5,000 to betting a dollar and getting thrilled.

11:20 We're fucking crazy. Yeah, it's just like almost hollow. Come on. Speaking of anal, Fox News girls. I don't know. Just because I'm a glutton for punishment. why it was important for me to do that i like reread an article about how a million people and I know you're not, but that would be an awesome move. And instead it went up online and viral and all that shit.

14:13 Okay, look at this woman. We'd be a very informed country. Those are like I want to go out and get sexy shoes. And they also have like an ejection button that slings them into the stratosphere once they hit 35. Maybe it'll move in that direction. She's a GILF. Yeah, explosions and hot girls. and you're not married or anything. it is an upskirt you gotta give him credit

16:48 my gut i'm not trying to cover myself up i'm staying an extra straight i'm spreading my legs Yeah, it's crazy. But it's just such a dirty trick. you'd be like, man, if I just ran into her at the right place and time, now I got a shot. And, you know, I get to impress her by my knowledge of windshield wipers. Pulling it up Going back to when Fox News are idiots I mean Not that a lot of networks aren't way more intense. And you wonder why people that watch Fox News are idiots.

18:55 You're going to find out about Captain Kirk's love life. No. That's funny. That's crazy shit. They certainly should. All right, she fought her way to the top. The ultimate fantasy is that she's impressed by you and accepts you You want to start Just to be able to talk to her By a black guy It's a pretty creepy video. one side or the other. It's a part of the cycle of Earth.

22:14 How much are you really aware? sort of a guy and it's just this need to be taken seriously and so you know he and i had this you're not a climate control scientist. I've done zero work in it. tornadoes they've ever had in November It's cold as fuck. oh, there's a place where I can go where I don't have to do this? Yeah, in L.A. Just... Yeah, he goes, I love the energy of the city.

24:47 You get all these people. You want to balance that No, I just meant angry people. In more violence in New York than there is in L.A. No, I just meant angry people. you're interacting with every type of person all day long. of the office to the house garage. you gotta see everything. You gotta see the whole Yeah, there's no seasons. where we got a god code.

26:36 The worst you have to wear It would do everybody a lot Right. You're just playing Of water It's nice to see the earth You can't be scaring the fuck out of me. Really? was college touring. Wow, that's hilarious. Like you could do, yeah. Some guys get in a rut, unfortunately, and they become just college comics. Right, right. and I remember A lot. You're at the University of Miami.

31:04 your college show. And then you have to deal with that. Act like half of life doesn't exist. Two Jews walk into a bar and they buy it. They just hear their buzzword. why are you upset but it's they're not really upset they're just looking to be upset and there's My people. That's not the correct use of power. I feel like he's well protected against it.

33:13 They got together and they did some odd couple sex after this. and arresting them for sexual assault, because he went into Chase Bank with some people Seriously, that's like trying to win a game of pool when you're at home in bed. All she did was kiss him. that makes me angry that you have any power Stop. Dude, maybe you can look it up, but he sued and got something like $30,000 for getting fired or whatever after doing that.

35:09 I mean, can you imagine he says he's not prepared I was down at Occupy LA. for writing in chalk those rubber bullets That's so crazy in Ohio State campus, The cops. Yeah. Yeah. you know, Like, Yeah. Yeah. and start breaking shit. they turn a non-peaceful protest that no one knows. I wonder if that guy, the CIA guy, was there too. and brought to its knees.

38:52 but what I'm saying is that at one point in time, there was this sense when all these people were lining up around these businesses and they're camping out in these It developed sort of like a social thing of its own. It became, decided to drop out and become a part of the Occupy movement. I mean, you also have to, you know, yes, there are a million failings and we could go through them all.

40:47 it was a big thing for quite a while we hear about it on a regular basis but i think i i hate the idea I was down there. He said, why don't you go occupy a job? say that silly bitch it just seems that it's it's the the sign of the times that um enough people each each different area elected somebody to kind of run things or whatever did you see the salon

43:27 the future Edward Snowden I mean, yeah. People should be furious. Let us know that it's coming. Well, he's like, he's a digital Paul Revere. I mean, people should be furious. Yeah, and it's the idea that we're supposed to just tolerate that because it's the government. It was all really astutely engineered. is nazi shit it's like you can't do that this is america on on my web series i interviewed

45:31 an enemy of your your your cabinet whatever the fuck you decide and you want that guy demonized And then there was talk in the news They're going to shoot missiles at you from the air. fucking make some decisions They're not like monks. They're not like monks. They're regular guys that are abusing their power He's a writer. I go, oh, my God. Everyone admitted it.

48:26 You can be locked away without a trial or charges. Fox News chicks. is he even trying to prove with that you know there's a reason a reason why. Well, we need to fix our healthcare system, pull it off at all was to make it Education, health, safety, cleanliness. situations is that the doctors always get fucked they have massive Do I have cancer? And they've got to change the idea of the role of a policeman and the idea of the role of a teacher.

51:12 and it's a girl and she looks like one of those Fox News chicks. She's milfy. She scares me. What? The tiger's biting his arm. Like, it has this It's so big. Yeah. Did you see the guy that sleeps with the tiger? Maybe you have this incredible rapport with tigers. They're doing these things. he had enough. Did you ever see that video and the bear ran over the monkey and smashed it.

54:23 the monkey caused this. So they just bite I've heard of bear baiting in other ways. Watch, the monkey falls, and the bear falls on the monkey, five steps ahead, I gotta figure Yeah, really? like how it's just It turns out... That's a Jay Leno look. But Phil was talking to us about Marineland, and eye-opening. And if you go to prisons for aliens they're aliens that live under the water and they're smart as shit and if we

57:16 doing, so fuck you. I've never gone to but they grab the kids out of the water, You can't do that just because you can't understand what they're saying when they complain. We know they're smart You know, not like dog smart or pig smart. They're hypersexual. They're not trying to be criminals. I have a thing I do in my act about how the top billionaires,

59:25 Not the initial inventing stuff. As does Apple. It's a game. Foxconn factory in the U.S. young kids that were doing it. Like, what's the main main appeal and it's coltan if our system was set up differently Saw that, yeah. we've we've been carefully trained to not want the older shit is that what it is yeah we've been But if you have all those other things, then objects are pretty cool.

1:02:34 collecting paintings i mean you're you're collecting someone's expression and someone's I just didn't have any use for it for like two years, Well, there's a reason for that, though. But it transfers data quicker. What do I know and if you have like if you have like a place? And is that what connects your iPhone 5? and it's a different USB also the old one is a lot slower the connections remember like where you would always have problems with like plugs like or if

1:04:55 So that just answers your question. Yeah, but we're talking about like updating applications and how your iPad wouldn't work. Yeah, but like, What's going on with you? I used to do a joke about that. We did it. Bohemian with your two-year-old iPad. culture, outside of your life, outside of your reality, and looked at this swarm of beings, That's their lives.

1:07:12 without your cell phone, you feel weird. that creates a symbiotic relationship between people and technology. Certainly could. They're using other drones. I get nervous about a Roomba. I don't know who he's reporting back to. Like, there's places in Colorado. You're talking about the Amazon drones, not the full-size drones. It's been done. If you're a really good sniper, like one of those Marines...

1:09:29 It's so crazy. You know what I mean? a hold of them. Oh, we're so crazy. will. Somewhere in the country, somewhere in the world. Peanuts are a motherfucker. But I mean, even the people that get these withdrawal syndromes, peanuts are worse. well they say that addicted to weed like alcohol And so you get nutty with weed and then you blame the weed I was like, this is really exciting.

1:12:08 It's like, there's teams people selling Oxycontins? Like, you're going to get addicted to something that you need to sleep. or whatever, running for president ever killed half a million Wow, that's so sad. caught in some chemical web where in various ways. And I'm not saying that they absolutely had to do heroin to do that music. It kills you. Private prisons and then prison guard unions that lobby to make sure that drugs are illegal.

1:14:58 They want to make sure that we're out there arresting people so we have work. You know, freedom. JFK is the code? 1% of what he has. Imagine if we found out Did you see that new stuff the latest evidence that the universe is a hologram, It's like string theory stuff, isn't it? Its structure, including the number and distribution of galaxies, that the universe

1:17:18 I'm not high enough You just start talking nonsense. butcher it but definitely hardcore go google that from people who know what they're doing, If you don't observe them, they're not there. like like really obvious shit things get weirder and weirder you know and when these things these And if you could just all fuck everybody a yin and a yang to the world, just like

1:19:53 both highs and lows, which is why lottery winners are almost always fucked, which is I mean, we like to think that we are what we are right now. And that's all they knew. vaginas on the news to show your vagina I wouldn't be on there Those fucking sirens. They pull you into I know, but the company of Fox, it doesn't match the rest of the network. every time you turn on the radio you'd have angry white guys screaming about immigration and all this crazy

1:23:00 biggest. It's the middle of the country that's all red Limbaugh or Michael Savage, you're not going to influence culture with a family guy. repetition, like the fact that, you know, You're like, no, that's not what's going on. if it's the bill hicks joke where you know into office and they put you into a room, a smoky room filled with industrialists.

1:25:15 The same guy? But he, you know, so the okay was already given for Obama as like he's with Wall Street, that kind of thing. about like four foot five she's like a 60 year old woman and she said to the armed guard how was in third place It's like, what the fuck, man? Yeah. is happening in Bahrain. It's going to be so hard to control. They're not going to be able to.

1:27:44 Remember, Google did a thing on it and everything. They just bought this crazy robot company. doing is it's I mean, anytime anybody's got some sort Where you, what is it when you're in a GM car, Like you get in a car accident, corporate assholes. and make it a topic of discussion Check this out. Recently, Google Isn't it ironic that their motto when they started was don't be evil?

1:30:49 It's a good question. But wait till you see the and you can see the idea of the cheetah, the actual robotic cheetah. See that? That looks like an artist rendering or something. in the world can get into the 40s. street, ready to cross, and you Magnetic pulse. 28 miles an hour. Hi. Don't you guys make phones? like that Minority Report movie. And the cheetah robots will have meetings

1:33:50 But then some dummy is going to decide, Of course it's going to happen. how are you going to stop 100 years from now They're going to have that figured out. They just built them. They do. is, by nature. We do. and then going in and invading them. the real control of resources all around the world like how how we get away with it and you notice People aren't that smart.

1:37:07 That's another thing. We would be better off. Like, you're trapped. You have them? schools that trick people into thinking they're going to get some great degree it's got to be a And they were talking about human neural interfaces and that the ultimate goal is what they're working on right now is we have already the ability to take a phone Yeah, and you're going to get it.

1:39:23 So if they can plant false memories, at least in theory. That's the Matrix, right? Well, they've also tried a lot of shit Right. And then they said, okay, okay, okay, this doesn't work for that. so many people the tim Timothy Leary fans, and they were like, well, these people have really good arguments, when you start throwing acid into the mix. Cocaine, all that shit was legal until 1970.

1:41:50 but I don't think they're going to say it with cigarettes. so your brain thinks you're drunk. It's totally not cool. Cocaine was illegal until 1970. Right. You were a robo-tripper. We'd get bottles of NoDoze and just It was so good, how it made you feel. no no no the one on the left is the real one. The one on the right is a parody. The lyrics are so bad.

1:45:05 or did Kanye West It's not good enough I get it. And like all geniuses, he's volatile. But the problem is thought the earth So whatever record company he's with, role. That is a role that baby's playing. Siberia's Lord of the Jungle. Hopefully they'll wake up. But Beyonce's new album's hot. I don't want to hear it. It's not hot. Like what kind of shitty music do I like?

1:48:01 I can't remember what it was, but it was some kind of... I mean, I just did a show Miley Cyrus. So you think Miley's better than Beyonce? I never thought that Beyonce would, Yeah, that was terrible. Diana Ross. Yeah. Just fucking their children. Okay. You can't debunk it. dress their boys up like girls, and nobody thought anything of it. And then I found out that there's like a lot of old pictures and paintings of boys in dresses, and I started collecting them.

1:51:50 No, I was looking at tweets about the show. And then they'll ask you questions, and then you respond to them. And that antibacterial soap is actually bad for you. Some people do that. they're killing their natural skin flora They think that has something to do. There was actually an article from my Twitter feed the other day from SeattleOrganicRestaurants.com.

1:54:24 And there's tons, you know, 24 hours. You find all kinds of insects and all kinds of shit, flowers and everything. Jacket full of all kinds of wacky stuff. God damn it. So bees looking at cockpits calls too? NSA bees, bro. God damn it. Yeah, there's a, and they're definitely fucking with their ability to communicate. Yeah, because apparently they'll rent beehives and someone will bring got to, like, someone will bring it out to, like, pollinate your shit.

1:56:19 This is our hologram world. It's weird little things that can sting you that a lot of us can't survive in a field anymore. Well, it also looks like it's fractal. And then there's also shit that developed eyes like us, They're delicious. and one aquarium had these really expensive fish aquarium, climb down the glass. animal shit, And he took it to a university

1:58:57 Yeah, look at these. Look at that. It figures out a way which is one of the more and that's why we get away besides that And, yeah, it infuriated me to the point where I was like, But now it's been a bunch of years. Daryl Hammond and Jimmy Fallon and stuff. Wow. happy enough that they're not that you don't lose the crowd is it you know it was a slow

2:02:07 They don't really want her to be funny because it's kind of lowering yourself. You know, I mean, to be like a really attractive woman and be a stand-up comedian, boy, a lot of, well, I shouldn't generalize because there's people that break every mold. It's just they're tools you're just trying to get laughs Yeah but for a lot of people, they get to the position that you were in,

2:04:01 to be like fuck them i'm doing this anyway yeah for sure especially if they don't know who you are right yeah yeah once you got a ton of celebrity behind The most incredible thing about the internet is something like this podcast. that you need this little equipment, and Moment of Clarity? I always say I'm going to do a solo podcast, but I haven't done one since the beginning.

2:05:37 Oh, yeah, Bill Burr's great. I see what you're doing. It's such a good bit. ranty style and so uh it fits well on podcasts and it fits well in those videos but uh you know It was fucking awesome. No, that one I felt like The trailer looked pretty damn good. was kind of flat, but I think it was just there was so It's so cool. Rest his soul. And they called the ambulance.

2:09:00 He's 41 years old. It's those bees. saying I like this and it makes me feel better said dr. Edgar Miller professor is very tricky. But we know for a fact down to individual components vitamins didn't prevent mortality in any way. In addition, well, how can you tell? How do you know beneficial to the body they don't inject vitamin b12 into athletes because it doesn't help right

2:11:33 by the body, but what can't be You need them in your nutrients in your food. articles getting readers so instead you put the article like oh this guy says they do nothing And the reason for that is nutrients. You can see if you're getting unhealthy or whatever. Cut out all the stuff that's not just natural things you feel better. Super Twink? said, hey, yeah, give your kids a glass of milk

2:14:22 That's what they do. It's amazing. Yeah. joke. They had a load joke. dangling from his neck, They used to do that too. I saw another poster that showed the, like, it's good for your T-zone, your throat or something. that's how quickly J. Edgar Hoover movie to make you more T for taste. It's the same dude that's in charge of climate denial stuff. climate change expert,

2:17:23 ever on television. And he was three feet away from the fucking president. Wow, he was in an angry group that burned two men to death. That was another thing Why do you guys Talk on their speakerphone So they'd be standing there. I think what people are getting mad is that It's the same thing. him and you want the whole world to hear the full on speakerphone.

2:19:34 Like, you go to see Smaug, But if you're outside the movie theater Is it Bilbo? Right. change the world. Yeah. I can't watch that That's real depressing because that's real life that's even to me worse than a depressing movie about you know a fictional character but i don't i don't want i don't go to depressing And when AIDS came along, they're like, look, we'll just fucking throw AZT at them.

2:21:33 It's quite fascinating. Spoiler alert. He's 12. the decisions were made. We're going down a really ugly path right now where things like the corporations are taking over the decisions that are being made globally and things like the Trans-Pacific Partnership, which is the largest trade deal mankind's ever seen. What can they do, though, if they really are waking up?

2:24:11 but eventually it's got to end Yeah. That one's fantastic. and how brutal World War I was when the Germans invaded the Belgians. You get history Yeah, I know. Greg Proops drops knowledge, ladies and gentlemen. where these people had never seen people like that before. And these crazy assholes came by in boats, starving to death. same there's no difference maybe we have better nutrition so people like they get bigger but

2:27:42 He was, like, 189 at his heaviest. I think Napoleon was really... 5'4". 5'5 What do you say? 5'4 Okay I say It says 5'5". What is that? Okay, this website sucks. In reality, his height was above average Wow, that's really interesting. You learned it here first, folks. Duh. Everybody knows everything. We're going to know everything about everything,

2:31:04 Everyone knows everything about everybody, but everyone's on ecstasy. I've showed there a lot. So, yeah, a lot of cool things happened out here. It just really doesn't get any better. I think you should always have a shitty fucking show You know, somewhere cool. KC is the shit. Yeah, there used to be. Makes sense. God damn. It's that I don't always know how to make it funny.

2:33:31 Right. A lot of people, like actual science people, thought that they were trolling. I think they only go, like, It's going to happen. Meanwhile, they'll have They're going to realize from this that people I'm going to say Amazon's going to realize that the NSA and all these, I like that line. That's a good one. and how brutal the uh You know, like America would go, well, why, why would you go into Belgium? They didn't

2:36:17 and no one could prove otherwise, whereas now there's cell phone cameras in freaking Syria showing you what's going on. Yeah, that's also one of the reasons why the idea of false flags, you know, which a lot of people don't want to accept as a historical fact. But, you know, Okay? Freedom ain't free. Anytime you're in California Had a great fucking time

2:37:27 He loves it. And it actually goes a lot. Go get yourself a beautiful Christmas centerpiece. Use the code name Rogan and save yourself 10% off any and all supplements. eddie huang and um and uh shane smith and brian's got some shows coming up too yeah i just i just All right, we will be back Wednesday with Eddie Huang and Shane Smith. He was really funny.