Joe Rogan Experience #430 — Shane Smith, Eddie Huang Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! I fuck with vitamins. Grapeseed extract's good. Bones. Well, we eat a lot of shit Originally was an organ for processing meat Dude, you can't be a renegade journalist, world traveler, and a doctor. I went to a lot of places. Whoa, what'd you do in Greenland? so they do every five years Yeah. Like how deep will that take America?

3:23 Actually, 80 of the 100 biggest cities are at sea level. Yeah. And I literally It's also the type of shit okay i'm i think most people are okay i think most people are going to remain okay despite the Yeah, they're going away. Like a scientist who represents this sort of global consensus of scientific thought. Okay. And Greenland's going to melt. That's the only question now.

6:05 But the shocking thing is I'm like, how much of his man-made? So what the fuck do you think they're going to say? all the cows are dead. Jesus disproved it? And this was one of the most bugged out things I ever did. And we drove to these frack sites, and we're shooting there, and we're trying to talk to people. and then they'd stop the truck, pull over on the side of the road, and be like, oh, you know that site I was going to show you?

8:30 And they told you they would do it, but they bailed because they just wanted to get you here and then leave you out to dry. It's a small town. I think they wanted to get you out to the man camps They did some guy named Fox, right? Yeah. he misquoted some laws and statistics but the what he didn't misquote is these fucking people you have to be so buttoned up because everybody comes back to you with a bunch of bullshit.

11:05 but it's the net ice melt. Because the water that they do have, Their kids are going to get fucked too. even though we fucking know it is. Because it's worth So he didn't do his job with the EPA at all. This guy was just basking in cash. Like they let this slip through. Well, not only that, it's the educational institutions and went to work at big pharma.

14:14 Just thinking about that boat. So they look at it as an option. and just trying to satisfy my own need for money. Fuck all those people and their blowed up drinking water. You want tons more money? That's crazy. yeah, that makes sense. For an average citizen to It's like the assembly line has taken over everything. to kind of strike back at the empire.

17:32 Do you think that's going to make it more difficult to do? Wow. We know it doesn't work. You know, the stock market's going up and down and everything. Fucking criminals. and what are they doing with it? No lie. i think we had this discussion one time when one of our drunken ones as opposed to now uh bad shit every day. I think everyone's bullshit is going to be exposed one day.

19:48 But I think there's a backlash against this no secrets bullshit. change because you know these politicians running if you look at like their twitters and their Everyone has their own path in life. But I think that Shane is right, man. I think ultimately we're going to have to figure out a way to vote online. It's just set up by a non-profit And then let's see if the vote's real. Let's see the digital vote is real if it's been fucked with and you count it to true vote and that way you keep them honest you just have

22:48 that believes that you shouldn't be You got some real fucking money to play with. I also think you have, as Eddie was saying, And you already see it happening. I don't have that ability. Look how many people we made. a lot of milkshakes. They have a method more than one baby so they, it's just. Did you guys cover It's completely empty. They're fucking crazy.

25:54 Look at this. We had WikiLeaks. Oh, you're saying the Chinese? The local government isn't as strong as it is in America because the tentacles of government here are refined. and nobody goes and does business with the bank. There's not as much regulation. We're going to have our own Weibo, like bootleg Twitter. they do is a copy? That's so That's their whole thing.

29:01 So as a business person, all you have to do is create that product at the proper price So that's what the whole economy is based on. So they just took the design and recreated it and just didn't call it a Dell. If people in China spent as much time trying to create something new as they do copying, Have you heard of it? Yeah, I heard, yeah. It takes so much effort.

31:24 Look up fake Chinese fake food. There's all kinds of what? Chemicals. What kind of chemicals? Here, look it up online. Look up fake Chinese fake food. Yeah. don't even have a chance against this. Prepare Then they add fake egg This is fucking insane. Wow. And this is just because So stupid. So if people are going to have kids, And when you go to China, they're just making shit.

34:53 No, we're going to be going around going, well, now we do banking and services. Why? Yeah, but Japan, that's just a bunch of posh. Japan was like, we don't concede that that's your territory, nor does Korea. The people are amazing. that when you get that amount of people I was talking about Jim Norton lives in Manhattan If you go to Shanghai, if I bring up an argument about pollution or humanity or whatever, they're really just like, look, this place is going to be polluted.

37:57 Like, they're instructing pilots on how to land in low visibility. Horrible. It's bad. I'm writing this book doing a good job in terms of the corruption and he's taking down people they're all fine but they could be at war with that you go to afghani you know afghani houses that now they're surfacing in Syria and Afghanistan. Here in America, the Boston bombers, the older

41:07 because i'm there with a camera going where did the boston bomber go and you know and so simple it's incredibly simple we just did a thing called children of the drones it's fucking One day he's just gone. kidnapped. What the fuck are you going to do?'re gonna do you're gonna say i'm gonna fucking fuck shit up and then there's a whole bunch of guys

43:16 Same thing with children or the drones. And the drones go. They kill somebody's family. why is everybody joining the Taliban? There's more Taliban in Pakistan than there is in fucking Afghanistan. you have a hundred new recruits to the Taliban. So this imbalance to take away the bases, to get Al- get Al-Qaeda, to get Taliban out that that's true 100 for every drone attack and there's a lot of goddamn drone attacks

45:48 I know if you fucking kidnapped my wife and killed her, I would go apeshit. to die and then they're going to go to heaven so there's all that stuff wrapped up into it too what happens when civilians are killed when Like we are, we are in like, we invade them and then occupy their country. and it fucked me up. there has to be recompense. casualties and those casualties are ignored that almost seems like a strategy to try to fuel the enemy.

48:29 And it's what we see is in common with everything we've talked about, and even by the way even if global warming isn't true which it is but even if it isn't and i and i say this to but one of the most interesting things I did recently is I went to the Zeitgeist Conference, which is the Google and by the way, my jaw was dropping, we when we put them away and that so he can take them down to when they're benign and and fuel the

51:33 the sort of boy phenom of of of physics he's backed by the like you know uh bill gates and But when I heard that, I'm like, again, even if it isn't true, on meth and they're going to fucking go off the road. from your doom and gloom shit Bring the machine to the waste. They're going to have we've been doing it Radiated and unmet. Truck carrying extremely dangerous radioactive material found after it was stolen in Mexico.

54:25 And the safe was where they kept the cesium, under fucking concrete and lead because it radiated the whole fucking thing and this is just I'm terrified of proliferation. about the are going to lobby against this because they know it's going to cost People will have to be immortal Earth will be a wasteland That'll be the day I fucking plug my ears I thought you meant the show.

56:38 Yeah. It looks like dog shit because you just see gray buildings and fucking smog. It's like the perfect height above it for this amazing light show. I know two people that have been home invaded up there. It's a fascinating story. Look at that shit up there. literally, you could throw a person You know what that is We used to call him wild man doesn't want to work anymore decides all he wants to do from now on,

59:58 Like, incredible money, like $3,000, $4,000, $5,000. And they're going to get a nice video of that. I don't know if he had a comment. I don't know what the circumstances were. I don't know if he had a comment. A lot of that up there. It's a tricky spot. making sure there's no suspicious people and all that. I didn't know it was like that. cell phone signal in your fucking house that's why why Eddie is staying at the Motel 8.

1:02:20 It becomes more and more dangerous to flaunt it like that, especially in the middle of house, a full theater with velvet curtains and incredible gold guild work and the house is built in the 20s like Because you go on one side of the, and it's like baby blue Bentleys and, and like these crazy like penthouse, and they're happy they're not in El Salvador.

1:04:05 I would take it. The poor and starving number's pretty small, I think. the neighborhood and what do you do you shit on his hood like a big hater brings me no enjoyment that's i'm so glad you're mad and i'm not glad enough that someone steps on your hood and it's going to land right in your fucking dashboard. How dare you even think like that? Because it's bad energy.

1:06:09 It's a shitty car. AC gets stuck on. That's not a bad move. he was telling us that he had a Lamborghini Aventador. Yeah, no. I'm a little mad they can't get it together. Yeah, get yourself a Subaru and drive through the snow. Ha, ha, ha. Don't trust my people. this is one where a guy gets hit by a car if you back that up you can see it you didn't see it in

1:09:41 Wow. Yeah, they make good tracksuits. They assume you're either Armenian And a fanny pack with a tracksuit Dude, fuck yeah. nothing on underneath Powerful Rodney Dangerfield. Look, there he is. That's how he used to walk. and his love of stolen jokes. and another guy would work... They would do like a lot of the same Yeah, this is a... No, before. Yeah.

1:12:42 I don't know. People try to, like, stun on you at parties about their new projects they'll just be like in a series of tweets he admitted on Tuesday like, you know what I'd love to see? Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder 2. Wow, okay. was actually inspired by, LeBouf? But stealing dang clouds, you're going to get caught. like their or you're delusional Everybody's throwing fucking softballs at you.

1:15:08 What a dumb fuck copying isn't particularly creative creative work being inspired by someone else's idea to produce something new and different His apology apparently looks familiar No, that's nitpicking. Oh, he put this. Four years ago. and start sending them via email to people. That's obviously. From six hours ago. I'm going to bootleg a Yan Can Cook episode and turn it in, Shane,

1:18:19 You said, look, you do anything on the internet. when he took over. What is he doing? He's retweeting I mean, he's just tweeting a bunch of shit. That's a good way. I'm Michelangelo in the flesh. You don't get to be the biggest one if you say that, because of real bad motherfuckers, bad loudy-shouty sort of way. He's like, come on, man. It makes no fucking sense.

1:21:01 Who gives a fuck? She will look the best in that. I think there's a problem Oh no, I mean just wrap It's gonna be like in high school Hold on, hold on, hold on. This is what people do in cul-de-sacs. Wow. or that was her dress? I thought you said I don't think your turkey burger line got enough respect. I like where you went with that. Are they the one about the ball?

1:23:26 Fucking redone They would all like Mount Rushmore I was Eddie Moretti. Eddie Moretti? you know, to be able to come to the other side of the fence, They get less problems with the police She can't take care of no business like He's got the best voice I've ever seen. What a weird thing to be proud of, too. of the past, on the pimps, in the movie theater.

1:27:06 Yeah. Shit. American Pimp. Ice-T went to the pimp convention and started telling everybody that he was a pimp. Pimp. Okay. That's just like the bankers working for the financial institutions. Ice-T ain't hurting nobody on Special Investigations Unit Oh, there's got to be one that has him talking. You got Mr. White folks, dude. Sure. far i can take this shit and um i've been doing it ever since i can't act i really can't act

1:30:51 Let's shut this off. I'm into my cerebral cortex There's a lot of those depressing Yeah Bronx Hunts Point No, they sell fish, then they sell fish. But, I mean, when you're at the farmer's market, in the world. You think of a great chef, you think of someone that's impossible to reach. I actually did this test because I was having trouble on the road.

1:32:58 So what do you do? Like, man boobs, right? Forever. It was something that was always the case? Because you were eating more weird shit. Those are such weird things. Yeah, I just eat it. And then the thing is when I'm not doing the shows and I'm not researching foods, I keep it really clean. That's fascinating. Just farted up a storm. Bring tissues.

1:35:51 I think it's genetic. I was like, I thought I needed a vagina to have a yeast infection. Yeah. Well, how about that fucking thing that you were telling me about the last time we talked? And I had to get it out and all this shit. these places you're just you're gonna pick up amoebas it just happens but you know for a guy who has stomach problems to become a traveling the world chef that makes anthony bourdain look

1:38:13 Barocca, the British multivitamin? But it really gets you. Yep. So now I just you'll see in season two, I'm sneezing all the time everywhere. Strong like ox. That's the alcoholic beverage. And it clears your system out, too. It doesn't taste, all right, it sounds like it That's what they tell you. It doesn't taste... It's the essence. It's something that would sell if you brought it back.

1:40:30 Like they had it Because hay would just I just shit my pants. Different ferocity. Oh, fuck yeah. Mayor's milk. You guys got cash. Shane, let's make white Brooklyn shit their faces off. You guys are making me feel real bad. a blue zone is where people live which is again just dudes They eat lamb and vegetables and shit. It's just a matter of how much booze you drink.

1:43:22 than almost anything else you do. And then they sleep for a couple hours and they get up and they're fucked up. They just got lit up. build a monolith something Something very 2001-esque. Their way seems great. Maybe. An old woman that used to be really hot. The recognition Are you saying war stories? Now I need to stop this podcast and get a fucking notepad.

1:46:08 I guess it would be like No, I'm saying where soap was expensive. Yeah. Have all these grandmas of Orlando that were sucking dick Wow. and them training the Boston bombing suspects? otherwise known as the Polygon. Like maybe that's why they drew Akira that way. There was this one guy who had his whole sort of, you know, Oh, my God. of generation to generation.

1:50:03 eugenics that's fuck you that can't be And then you go and see the genetics that are been passed along. And you're like, I want shit we're fucking up. We created this shit that fucks up our genetics. Like, 18 feet, man. We saw it explode from my window and we were like, what the fuck? the problem with nuclear power Now, the levels of radiation have not fucking gone down.

1:52:25 technology as it is. No. I did see a piece on the fish, on tunas being 3% more irradiated than ever before. And they're going to keep it in with ice walls. God damn. That's not what that represents. But one of the theories that I was And then it's going to pool up there because that's where everything from Japan eventually goes. And it's going to go through the Polynesian Islands

1:55:00 But that's what I'm saying is, like, Like, oh, well, here's a plant. And the car sees the tsunami and turns around and leaves. Who knows if he made it? Easy Out of nowhere Here it comes oh shit I think they said it was the 1700s in Portland. If there's a reactor there, it's pulling out a giant filter on the ocean i'm guessing they can't and that's why they don't talk about it

1:58:33 Japan debunked. I'll pull it up because Dude, you're scaring the fuck out of me now. Snopes. It's true if you want to be all crazy, doom and gloom. No, it's a meth head guy with radioactive isotopes. How dare you? Canadian Shield, you know. What I'm saying, the shit hits the fan. I'm saying when you have to build a house out of logs Yeah, you need a dog sled.

2:01:07 lot of folks that are out there that are just listening to it at all. At like high altitude, long haul, you get this. F or whatever. It was interesting. We'll explain that for the people who weren't listening to it at all. or whatever. And, uh, and, but you know, normally it wouldn't be like, but you can also feel, Fuck it. I'm going to get a place up in the Canadian Shield with a freshwater lake, and no one can get to.

2:02:57 run the bureau out of uh you know uh kabul or you know just you know people have been sort of However, you go to enough things like Fukushima or like Greenland So do I. like look at when you say soma you don't mean the sleeping pills no i mean like the brave new world And so I think it distracts us from the fact that, like, these problems that are at the water's edge could be at your door very quickly.

2:05:13 Yeah. is insane. And the barges come in. That's so organic. David Cho shot that for it. I'm pretty sure they did. Also, how did they get the contact? essentially all the scrap. The open order is send it here. What a poetic fucking. Cadillac won the car of the year. cars that people want to buy. It was just dog shit. You have to give a shit. yeah and the thing is is japanese people who handed us our lunch really were like give a shit yeah

2:09:32 shitty 5 o'clock fucking drunk Yeah, we've got this entitled attitude in this country, or I shouldn't say we. And you're like, well, hold on. there's a lot of chefs to open a yakitori place This is easy stuff. I'm not sure. interesting to find out I'm not sure I have seen the the same way wasn't that amazing I hang out with these other chefs. It's like, dude, chill.

2:12:22 Motherfucker, I am Wolfgang Puck. I don't think that's And I just want to be a fly on the wall in his kitchen and hang out with him. Emeril is a stand-up dude, really cool, when somebody what were the dishes an issue Let the temperature drop. thing that's most amazing they took a couple ingredients but one especially is the red dried And it's like that culture of cooking, Szechuan cooking in China, pays that much attention to almost every ingredient available to them.

2:15:30 And that's why I don't, like, read the food blogs here. Sorry, I just wanted to ask him a question because I love Szechuan and I love chili. And I never had it before going to China i think it's illegal actually to do here Now, let me ask you this, because I don't understand chilies or peppers. Best green salt chihuahua. And it's almost like a fruit tomato.

2:18:05 And I was just going, what the fuck is this? It's the best fucking thing I've ever seen. I've got to get some of that shit. All right. Get used to it. That's a weird one. Scopolamine. is Jimmy Kimmel was telling me that him and Adam Carolla Yeah, yeah. And Vice is, if you don't know, the greatest online source of fascinating documentaries, But this Colombians Devil's Breath shit is fucking terrifying

2:21:09 I've seen the footage. of people clearing out all their furniture in their house Papadoc. And this stuff is apparently very prevalent. It's part scopolamine. Maybe that was it, yeah. Because it's a fucking bad ride. and that I guess you could just cover someone with those patches I wonder if I'm fucking up because I suggested it and no one ever thought of it before.

2:24:00 I fucked up. How much responsibility Some kid's gonna have career does that resurrect? Oh that's funny This is him in North Korea. all the weirdness I knew that they were crazy basketball cards in in denver or something and so he yeah he said i'll go and and and and obviously Is he the only one that's allowed to wear that haircut in North Korea? Number five?

2:26:51 because Kim Jong-il had a bunch of sons because he had a bunch of lovers, personality. his father's administration, The uncle was supposed to be the mentor. Got a little disrespectful of yourself. Got a little out of line yourself. Yes. So he killed the uncle or something's happened. where he was just openly talking about how he's killing off people

2:29:49 Everybody was like, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Yeah. is more reasonable than the United States. Yeah. Russia's economic too much on the And the racism's overt. Yeah, that's around the same. Man, it's a depressing place. Shoes were missing. That's a dark place. people and killed them or something yeah it seems hostile which is why it's so scary to think about going to war with hardened people

2:32:45 Yeah, dude. The size of the steppes of Mongolia, the steppe meaning it's the area be happy they got john wayne to playenghis Khan, the original. Because he fucking or culture, period. Wrath of the Khan. It's a five-part five two plus hour long podcast on the mongols and it's fucking the interesting thing though is I was in the desert We've seen a lot of things.

2:35:41 Between the low numbers are 20, the high number is like 70. this is John Wayne as gang as con. That shit was terrible. That stuff is just goofy He's not be a white guy. I was going to be the last one. Well, he's not. Where he gives in front of the Scientologist. And everyone else is an SP, so you've got to get in there. I've got fetons in me that you don't even fucking know about.

2:37:58 My fetons are off the track. He's impressive. Are we going to clean this place up? start your own religion. That is the rumor, but I think it's essentially hearsay. and they keep saying this is the actual work. I didn't watch it. Because the fucking movie is dog shit. Now I know where your positivism comes from. We love you, man. Well, you're my three favorite men.

2:40:58 Yeah, just turned 30. No, it's your house. Always. Go to Lumosity.com slash Joe and try that shit today, son. Then the mailman picks it up. It's over, bitches. Your game is done. Go to stamps.com and use the offer Joey motherfucking Diaz. I'm there with the lovely and talented Sam Tripoli and Super Twink, a.k.a. Tony Hinchcliffe. Merry Christmas.