Joe Rogan Experience #460001 — Chris Aubrey Marcus Transcript

Transcript

0:01 Brian, this doesn't have a connection. people are asking believe anybody's even listening at this point this is the most ghetto podcast on the internet But every now and then they just fucking make something super cool. How does it just get in you, man? And what is a.us, man? but he goes, Yeah, but I got it back from Twitter. Just tell me what you want. Can't we talk through this? The more famous you get, the more this is worth. Oh, come on, man. What are you, 12? Just tell me what you want. Can't we talk through this?

3:02 type.net instead of.com, if you give up, You porn shows up and I have to masturbate I just need to clear my cash. as the storm came into town, the storm left. Don't do it. And get one of those dogs that will drop it. man. And one of the reasons why he's awesome is because his dad was awesome. Meanwhile, he's this giant mastiff. He's got this perfect personality. Well, this guy won't let his douchebags breed he just anytime

5:35 I'm trusting all my soft tissue to these monsters that you have under your control. dogs were nothing like that man these. These dogs were so cool. Like you shot a side of beef And can mimic the primal attack mode Like dogs that really know their shit. Yeah. some people just say it's a dog thousand dollars i think for both of his arms he had to have one operation and then he had to have

8:13 Yeah, he's fucked up, but you don't have to give him metal hips. It's wonderful to love a dog and take care of him, You told me about that. And then it'll just pounce. I mean, because I've definitely alpha-mailed it, too, though. Does it tear up your furniture? Yeah. Does it with you? Does it ever get dicky with you? Totally, no. I've definitely alpha mailed it, too, though.

9:15 And does he use those? And he's a rag doll. And he's a sweet cat. This little motherfucker. I got this little cat named Oliver. And he's a rag doll. Right. But dingleberries are worse than them licking their ass. I'm being nice about it. I pick No, this is where I want to be. He tests me. it's mostly savanna to savanna mating. There's pictures from the breeder, the servals with the children and stuff like that.

11:22 I bet. It's cold as fuck, and there's these puppies by a coyote, I wonder if a dog One of those big I wonder if the dogs can go back to regular dogs after that. You start thinking they're dogs, has one he has one and the fucking thing got out and killed a gang of goats. A little too much. and he was big. three of them those wide ranges. Right. or if your father was getting attacked, rather.

14:32 stupid that's how the wolf looks at you the wolf is not wolf's not threatened by you he's like oh A woman got attacked by wolves recently. If there's only one monster, If you go through Wyoming, you're going to see them. Those are real animals, man. aggression shit i think they got they got trappers just you know decimated the population yeah is stories and one of them was about this

16:46 be if a werewolf was out there sneaking into They're going to just hop over that fence a wolfman you know That is. Yeah. But if Gary Oldman came out today with a new Dracula, he could rock that shit, I have Wolfman fetishes. In high school. There's some part of me that wants to be out with animals. but crazy yoga lady and I was talking to her about

19:39 to deal with different monsters jacking you. So I said, how do you deal with this? I love you when you could have zagged with its cobs They get their vegetation by eating the guts of the things they kill. I'll try it again. Yeah, dude. called the Sundarbans. they wash a lot of bodies that drown. Because there's a bunch of cool documentaries online.

22:31 and they have a mask with a fucking face on the back of the head. They can run 50 miles an hour, In some regards, they're right. The people in India should be like, we are worried about the extinction of the tigers. Gun them down. Did you try to trick the tigers? And just be moving that shit around and running up a tree and shit. How crazy would that be?

24:47 inside of her, you have no fear. I would like to be an eagle. Really? That we eat once a year. What, bitch? and they're a little thing on your arm So my parents were like, alright, So I'm going very slowly, looking at this hawk in the eye, That's crazy. Yeah, bro. Brian's on a date. You go, shut up, dick. I got a hot fuchsia car. He wears pink little fucking tighties when he fights.

27:59 He doesn't give a fuck. He wears these big fucking girly looking pink gloves. Because people gave it to girls on the baby shower day, you know? I think pink's the prettiest color. How the fuck has nobody else been Pink? She's a badass. Nobody thought to call themselves pink. I was pink in the 80s. That happens all the time But there was a guy back in like michigan who was scared to leave town but he was the guy he learned from that guy

30:53 which has got to be so twisted. would put it off himself. I've seen him randomly in placements and appearances really recently you're talking about kramer yeah the real one yeah what That was one of the worst predicaments Right? What he was trying to do is say something completely shocking, Oh, look, here's a nigger. the other one, Those are the three words or the three magic words that have,

33:28 Do you love me? Cunt, sort of, Probably. This fucking cunt over here. Yeah, but niggers still It's like you're saying an incantation I think it's one of the few words where I can't even hear my own voice saying it because I don't think I've had the courage to voice it. Whoa. I'm not swearing in front of you. I'm sure it is. There's 100,000 people listening to this thing.

35:41 where you're not allowed to say certain words, Chris, what is your exact job over there? Oh, it's just happens to be blue. It just happens that there's a super hot alien that's blue. The mold inside is like a bunch of space. The razor blade in the vagina from Vietnam. Is that an urban myth? The razor blade in the vagina from Vietnam? Hookers would take these back in Vietnam.

37:25 No, never. lining for her vagina It's like one out of three women in Africa even if he's raping you it's gonna give you such an asshole that he would rape you I deserve it. arts into them so that they could get some kind of... And then they get turned into little killers. So what we were trying to do is show them some kind they dug it you know it's kind of interesting interesting that Africa is not known for martial arts.

40:04 We're fucking around here with karate chops. Hey, how do you try and eat me, kids? They're like, ah, this is good enough. fuck you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude. You got no base. Wake up with shit in his loincloth. Do they have throws that are like judo throws or like wrestling throws? Bugs ain't good for you wrestling. No. and exposing the brain. whatsoever. Carving into dudes' skulls.

43:12 sex is just never pleasurable for women. it's all those faggots and won't let chicks dance all those dudes who want to put chicks in burkas It's the dumbest place in the world because it's the first place. I mean, so much development. Fuck everybody else. Let's get the fuck out of here. in the desert areas of the world And of course, you know, the major desert religions, Judaism, Christianity, Islam,

46:08 ideology thousands and clitorectomies and with the burkas. I think when you have a situation where there's a lot of fear it's actually forcing some women underground there's certain levels of fear When that shit gets a hold But at least a culture and go, hey, we're fucked up. We can do better. internet kiosks They need something to get them to evolve.

48:48 this? Why does anyone tolerate come on. That's silly. and you're going to smite them, I mean, It can't be. Yeah, it is. to tell it to people? It's a lot. there were cannons for the New Testament they just threw out they're like no I that dude, he ain't all that. So he says it came to him in a dream or whatever, but I think he was trying to survive.

52:13 Like, bam, I had a dream. That's fascinating. is going down there's some people out there with pitchforks and fucking torches and shit yeah we bring them in and off to the races like before he died You gotta do their thing. And his second book is Why Christianity Must Change or Die. His first book goes through different passages And then his second book philosophically talks about how the evolution of Christianity needs to be

54:52 Oh, man. Wait a minute. It has fucking bananas, man. Well, I mean, at that point, I mean, they were pushing the, well, it was for sodomy Yeah. Interior of the dome. and I sat this one, and it was a lady sitting on the pillows. I mean, just the way that he makes it like fleshy and lifelike. what the fuck, man? and carve out of stone. No. Fuck all that, man.

57:42 and it's like a few hours This one will be easy to bring up. So it's this documentary of this guy, and he started swimming because he had this alcoholic father. What? He's like, he's kind of like chubby, you know? and like batteries attached to him. yeah it's it's nutty the big river man is the name of it martin strell i believe is his name from a nurse on the boat.

1:00:25 Okay, what is it about people doing dangerous shit that they don't have to do? But when you thrust yourself into that situation, that's not a game. Dangerous shit has always gotten chicks. Is she a lesbian? And it's like the whole deal. And I was like, it was so like low rent, Yeah. You know, I could always just give it to you right here in my car.

1:03:10 Like, oh, poor girl getting mouth fucked. Not so fun. Just in my bedroom and stuff like that. Not speaking of which. But if you want to see it, what is the YouTube address? She really looks like she's 12. They go by Little Esther. So her name is a mystery? Yeah. Let's hear this. Little Esther, she's got questions, she needs answers. It was loaded up earlier, but now we did that song instead.

1:06:00 We'll play it in a bit. She asks dirty questions. Because it's a girl He was like 15 or something I know the name. Is he a comic? There's just too many people to know now. my time i would just go on my twitter and watch all the videos that people send me all these you're going to have to see it too. It is. is the sensory deprivation tank. it was a long week, and I didn't have it, you know, available to me, except for, you know,

1:09:49 didn't find any kind of great lucid information out of it but the experience was wild i mean i've And there's that dead silence that you don't get any other way. And the thing that I always say is that I'm always shocked from your shit than it is to face your shit. Agreed. Anything. You're like pulling yourself in. And then I go. in some big holoscope that's like a hologram that's shaped like the planet Earth.

1:12:49 That's how crazy the tank is. Mushrooms in the tank are a totally different animal, man. There's so many He's like, that's what you're doing when you're in that kind of shamanistic experience. This is what it sounds like. Wait a minute, what are you doing? They just immediately discredit everything you're saying. Yeah, it might be that. I've talked to them about psychedelics

1:15:40 Who the fuck knows what that is? Ayahuasca is two different plants. Because when you eat it, it exists in so many different things. That's how they say about all the medicines that they get. a lot of serpents when you're underneath these visions. These serpents are often intertwined. comes. And the synthesis he's able to get, I mean, there's actually DNA emits. And one of the ways

1:18:49 The DNA is the substance of life. There's always the cynic that steps in. Yeah, that's good. This is what you're doing man you're just trying to fucking there's always the and these guys have been doing it for thousands of years. And people go, what if they're so fucking smart, man? with the afterlife, you fuck. I'm going to do some more DMT, all right?

1:20:26 they were going to call it telepathy So they couldn't call it telepathy. It sounds so fucking dumb. about it every day there's always about it every there's always a moment where i'm like and taken on a magical a human being This was the most amazing thing in the world. It's not like that at all. that you're connected to everything is seized right through you

1:22:57 You wouldn't want to, but you couldn't anyway. You can get slippery. He can't ever quite step back into the real world. It's still fresh in my mind. oh yeah, okay, that happened. Oh yeah. Right. It's useful. I love life. You went a little Barry Manilow. I've heard a little bit about it. like you know has this fucking book dedicated to it I don't know I can't

1:26:51 that i mean that's how they figured out how to do things they ate everything bro they eat it all and they just twisted it all up. thousands of years ago. And it's Adam But so you take away mushrooms and then you insert people. I wonder, I mean, how much of that is true, because there's a lot of speculation about, you know, where they lost the way and what it was really all about.

1:28:37 with global climate change, which is and becomes more of an alcohol-based culture. like an alcohol. And so then they go into It's fascinating shit, man. That would be the strangest fucking thing, They can't touch it, you know. And like just feel that, you know. i mean mma gets an approximation of that and that's i think why people love it so much because it's the closest we got but it pales in comparison to that you know

1:30:54 No. war, you're doing the same thing. Like, what kind of missiles Have you seen Call of Duty? Drones. Destroy that person by just hitting. Starfighter? Was that it? Starfighter. High score. I bet those top guys get knocks on the door once in a while. You're some poor little 13-year-old. You know what I mean? just jacking people and killing people. And I remember when he was standing in front of those people and that dude took off his shoes and threw him at him

1:34:34 that motherfucker. He's not running shit. I don't know. I'm like, this motherfucker's just making up words and all this bullshit. You know, Obama said something about there being 48 states. No. I mean, he's probably alright. the gears of the universe run. You get to see the gears of the universe run. Yeah, fuck all that. Fuck all that fuck all that exactly we're

1:36:31 Right. It makes a difference. I don't want some You think Dick Cheney had 150 heart attacks. dude. Kanye West, he I don't know. You fucking fake cunt. I thought Obama was the first guy that wasn't full of shit. Lobbyists and fucking Congress and this and that and layers and red tape and chaos and war. What's a hero doing? And meanwhile, where is he?

1:39:11 It's tough. I think they figured Who the fuck is buying heroin? It was an evil money grab. than they thought there was. Oh, shit. All the prices And like obviously but i believe it's the distributors that set the price and then these oil companies and it's all coming out of this hole right here. When oil price was dropping, there was big deflationary

1:41:28 just shoving money into the system. going to lose its value and that caused the oil to go up in price at yeah when it went when it It's all about generally inflation They were going to redline as much money out of the system as they could they've already we got this we got you know well opec supposedly sets how much available reserves It's true. Where does mineral oil come from?

1:43:58 Dirty fucking yeasty flashlight. and what they've done, they sell it for Oh, God. And funk and dip cheese. of fart porn is just for show. I think with all these fetishes... And this repression gets all twisted up. really yeah totally like what definitely boobs but well that's not a fetish that's called being a dude The ass is critical. Could you imagine, though, if an ass had nipples?

1:47:07 do a mashup