Joe Rogan Experience #47 — Michael Schiavello Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Ladies and gentlemen, we are live, live on the podcast with The Voice. it's blue which for us where you can buy Sorry to all of our Japanese fans, but you do. That's brilliant. Promise me you're not stuck the Rogan fucking schlonger in there. It's nice, man. Mayhem touched one. I'm on the road, then... watering to your ass. But if you shift back a little bit more, it goes from your ass and shoots onto your balls.

2:52 that's what he's over here tonight so we're gonna watch strike force yeah we're buddies we met in So you just get fired up, huh? Like seriously, Joe Esposito theme the musical Grease. Really? That would drive me crazy. I fucking love it. Yeah. Oh, damn it. I used to like R&B, man, but now it shits me. You're a singer for a living. Rapping's not singing, right?

5:23 So it is kind of like musical, but. Yeah. I r&b like i love marvin gay like that motherfucker just had And every second word is, oh, no, it's like a bad word, Really? Yeah He goes But I don't understand. It's an abbreviation. Yeah. Yeah, that you just said that? Their cars are so reliable. and I'm sure I've called them Jap to their face are you offended?

7:55 That's how the Japanese say Japan. It's all in – how do you feel like when you say these Japs are fucking badass. People are always looking for a reason to be pissed off. are you sitting behind your website fucking getting paid to put your opinion on there Very few, man. They might be scared. But a lot of them don't even know anything about martial arts, bro.

10:09 that attitude and pushing it like that is the reason why this fucking sport Oh, shit. I did the K-1 show last year. But for everything up before that, what could a writer say? even if I lose, I'm not going to get cut from UFC. you've got that in the back of your head I'm not sure if he really said that I think his words were That has been the big difference, bro, between commentating outside of America and then recently coming onto the American scene.

12:42 Is there any validity in this total piece of shit who's saying when you read shit about yourself do you get mad nah you get used to it man you know it's like and I saw you did that recently on the Underground. no matter what. It's totally unavoidable. because of the reason that people just attack Stars, I think, just 20 years it had to be big news, like Roman Polanski

15:09 Your house is like fucking NASA in here, man. Look at the nosebleed drying up here, man. I like to live up and above so that when like waves of water or waves of retards. So I like to be as, when I sleep the houses look all the same though. At once, on duty. It's like there's a rule, man, in the world, like those Coca-Cola inventors that had to be at least 50 feet apart from each other at all times.

16:47 So if one of them dies, the other one survives. That's what I told you about, about being a black belt. I'm like, wow, you just can't get too deadly, I guess. Guinea pigs are much bigger, though. What's a gerbil? Gerbils are small. It's almost like, yeah, it's what we call a guinea pig in Australia. No, we have guinea pigs too. Guinea pigs are much bigger though.

17:57 I didn't want to know about this, but I knew about it. Dr. Nick Nicoletti back in Melbourne. he said a lot of them have glass up their ass they'll stick bottles and jars and the jars break He thought, well, this might be the reason. And he's gone into the doctor saying, That fucking big fat chick. Like a cabono size. So she asked Dr. Nick to get it out.

20:48 So eventually Dr. Nick realized that when he was, because he'd never looked her in the So that felt good to her. See, for a girl like that, there should be a place where you can go where guys will just finger you. What I'm saying for girls is that would be a sweet spot for them, like a store, where they could just go You can just fucking, Yeah. I mean, come on.

22:26 You know what I'm saying? There would be so much less frustration. But they go inside the professional, they kneel on a pew. And she just sticks her hand through a hole in the wall. We can't handle that shit here in America. Yeah. All right? It's crazy man When Bush beat Gore, and Gore was actually the guy that won it, I love when a politician it's a bam, D, Vermont.

25:35 some chain in washington dc and uh she you know had all these high-powered senators and congressmen She, And no one said a fucking thing. Because I could just picture like every politician in her book, like 40 of them just cock slapping suicide by shooting himself in the head twice. Fight club style. So you're just faking it now? It was dumb as fuck, but if you're in the mood for a dumb as fuck movie, it was perfect.

27:34 I liked Jerry O'Connell's Girls Gone Wild. I'm saying a Girls Gone Wild guy. And they had this Girls Gone Wild thing. This guy? I've been there. I'm just saying when you get there, you're like, oh, this is just kind of a a cool house in the hills it's just one of those things where everybody likes to put parties there and so that's what they kind of sell it as they have those fight

29:20 to rise in front of you you'll play star wars music while you're doing it for real really ask ask if you could drive in on the west side highway if that's possible and ask you going on and when i drove up i drove up the west side highway and saw it for the first time i 30 million motherfuckers in Tokyo, man. when I'm jet lagged, 4, 4.30 in the morning.

31:23 Everything is regimented on the streets You hear a pin drop. Jesus Christ. and you'll fucking love it. and that's one of the reasons Mayhem and I were talking about it when we did Inside MMA. Dude, that's scary watching some of that. And who the fuck is more violent than Alistair Overy, man? Dude is fucking freaky. I want to see that. was trying to make 205.

34:18 Tough fucker, though, right? at the Golden Glory Gym in Thailand, doing proper Muay Thai training. only guy doing it at that high a level. No one else. And they are for MMA. He threw him, man. before dude to me it was just like you know what i'll just bend over you can fuck me in the ass That's a big problem to me that there's all these organizations.

36:40 Just all come together as friends for one night. and it would lend respectability to Strikeforce, which would build up the enemy. For Brock? The one he fucked Fujita with on New Year's Eve because I said to him, stopped a few times and he was old as a legend and his body didn't look the hell out of him and He's nasty. He might be the motherfucker. the biggest, strongest fucking guy in the division,

39:27 He believes in himself. And he said, well, the thing with fighting Cain is you always think that you're just going to ride out the storm. He doesn't fade. Almost goes down. You know, I'm looking forward to that as well. that would be a huge rematch, I don't think there's anyone Didn't he tap Alistar? Yeah. Watching that ringside, that was surreal. I think it's happy.

41:49 Yeah, nah, it's not sad, though. Very fascinating personality. They're decent. you know, Nobody probably taps him with triangles, Everybody needs to work that you train with, why Golden Glory in Holland year and he went for broke on Sammy. So Saki will beat on Zimmerman. The ties will go light in sparring. It's just amazing. One of the head trainers.

45:05 a bunch of times. the nicest, friendliest guy, man. He's over there promoting Such a great guy too. was 2007. Took Ray and myself. He looked fucking good, man. Super nice. Like, greets me with a hug of the nicest human beings I've ever fucking met. Super nice. Peter Ertz had a fucking case of joints in his pocket that he would rip out and his best Like you're moving through the mist

47:06 a lot of bad motherfuckers we're gonna see it in the way of my pot smoking Yeah, right? Unbelievable, man. You can order anything over there. It's crazy. Can I get a cap like Johnny Drama did in Entourage? Dude, in Holland. Amazing, man. Sativas is like space weed. and it fucked me because peter goes hey mikey try this try this it's a bong and i hate smoking but

49:59 I was like, what the fuck was that? I didn't know I was breathing, exhaling any smoke, nothing. It's a purer sensation, too. Because there's, like, hundreds of different cannabinoids. smoke it. There's got to be shit out there that no So the farmers are like, hmm, the goats eat this strange looking weed and they stumble in paddock. I don't fucking know, man.

52:00 All I know is when I did that vaporized bong 20 minutes later i was in a place called banana bar So she had a postcard, and she sticks the marker in her pussy, Fascinating. Maybe. I would guess that there would, He had you bound and tagged I can't even write with my pussy. It's between China and Hong Kong. where this one chick had the darts, and she reaches into her vag and pulls out this line of razor blades

55:08 Yeah, you know, that's funny that you just brought that up like stuck a razor blade in there and then the guy fucks them and it cuts their dick in half oh man one of my mates in Yeah, exactly, right? Really? I've seen ones that fucking hang down like that, man. Like a small dick. usually they got skin diseases when they're young the girls will go on on uh on uh steroids on you know testosterone it's a shame

57:44 kid what the fuck is wrong with you you know was a cute kid. What the fuck is wrong with you? And then you graduate high school. Lisa my friend's like that's what your it girl looks like now do you think that she does the same thing every time she watches k1 that's michael chivalro i'm so glad i didn't fuck him She's laughing your ass off. She probably just never saw the sitcom.

1:00:12 and then i heard the song on the radio i'm like doing this one in the clothing store wherever i the kid's like 14 how much of a biography can you write what have you done has he even fucking But the girls right now are just, like, confused. or whatever that she likes, Justin Bieber. She goes, oh yeah. And Justin and I talk every other I thought you were going to say, it could just be Justin Bieber.

1:02:30 Anybody could be doing it. Maybe he's hooked up for it and he goes for a down-under tour. In Australia, you've got to wait another couple of years. You're not going to stop 16-year-olds from fucking. and lawyers and they were very uh into their kids academic careers and like you know it's like it But we don't have frats. We don't live on campus, right? Then after high school, we go to university. But we don't have frats.

1:04:20 You live in California. I finished high school. Yours is shit and ours is really good. Yeah. Maybe a fortnight. You don't have that word in America? Might I fuck you in a fortnight? Might I fuck you in a fortnight? And that's for doing nothing. even if you're a fucking loser? You always have something you don't have to rob and steal. Yeah. And there's a lot of those. A lot of dog bloods. Does that keep everybody calm? So there's always something, even if you're a fucking loser, you always have something

1:06:17 This way, at least they have something. Let's let people be fucking losers and just take care of them and then there will be less crime. People are forced to pay their own way and give their own way to this world. But I would rather give my tax money to losers and drunks and idiots work in this factory you're gonna fucking send these males out you're gonna do shit you're gonna

1:07:58 Fuck yeah. You guys have got a lot... Like, well, you're all right. and how they used to run away from home when you were Irene's holding my hand really tight. have you been to Italy? you have no idea the money that is fucking dripping There is the Vatican. They don't feed them. The main strip walk is only one street you go to to go to the Vatican,

1:10:48 Now, apparently Berlusconi, when he came in term, I'm not sure. A farm. Yeah, fucking 272 fights in 10 days I commentated by myself. But you know, in Beijing, they relocated one million people. Virtually overnight. I came back and I told everyone, ass and go okay we are your slaves because seriously the olympic games was phenomenal Yeah, that is kind of crazy.

1:13:25 let's say a group of 15 people like a show in australia but you'll get 300 guys and as soon as the show ends they're coming in helmets and little cars and that ring is taken down in 10 And live in dorms A fucking mansion Or the bathroom Just one big room bathroom one big room it's like right you see sakuraba's gym where he trains or aoki's gym they're training. There's no room to do shit. Tiny ass gyms too. Tiny, right?

1:15:19 Is that good? in a house with a backyard in suburbs. Just to pet one? feed it, don't you get attached to the dog? Yeah. They all share. It's so different. I think it's cool People are retards. They always want to find. they tried to invent Yeah. everyone's like english i mean there's of, there's immigrants in here that speak all kinds of languages,

1:17:56 because we were driving along the border there I'm thinking to myself, why the fuck then do you call, if you're complaining, I appreciate ambition, man. I think it's kind of. They know there's cash over here. There's money over here. I got held up in Toronto for five days recently because I had visa problems because something wasn't done properly on my work visa.

1:18:58 Like, just... There was a French lady sitting there with three kids, douchebags. They don't, you know, what do you get? Assault in America, you run numbers is awesome. It is awesome. You've got to appreciate that. where you're at, And I'm here with Australia,