Joe Rogan Experience #49 — Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Can you turn it, unplug it, or is there an off button? The Ustream users are seeing us live right now. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how fucking disorganized this bitch is. We want your soul. Your emotions, your love, your dreams, your checkbook, your essence, your sweat, your screams, your security, your sobriety, your innocence, your society, your self, your place, your distance, your space.

3:07 Here's magazines Here's video games You're the soul Your government is in control again. and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. We want your soul Yeah. Dude, it was brilliant. there wouldn't have to be any trickery involved in that. What the fuck? show up or something? ever said that you know i mean have you ever heard like that gonorrhea is fake you ever heard that

7:32 But how come it's not like one thing? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. Isn't it like... Well, I mean, I don't know. other diseases and apparently he's been totally discredited. And it's tricky to cut through way. So what he did is he started advertising in papers pianos. No, not pianos. He started in like uh do you have particularly heavy bleeding on the 31st month of your menstruation cycle

11:09 You're being serious? They have a different name for it. but yeah so AIDS you know this information Do you think there's that much corruption Remember how bad that was? That's such an industry, man. That's definitely some corruption. Well, they saved us from swine flu. Remember how bad that was? It was connected to a pig. No, I didn't know that. If you look at some of the video of slaughterhouses or like the really bad

13:31 Yeah, what are you going to do? It's a double murder sandwich. the negative stigma attached to being a hunter Foie gras. because I've been reading Food of the Gods. but Terence McKenna's theory was that the reason why the human brain size One, it increased their visual acuity and made them be able to see much better. uh he so and he has a very scientific mind and i think he i mean he hated mentioning the idea of

16:21 higher intelligence some higher force mckenna talked about extraterrestrials. And develop. They're kind of tuning into us a little bit. Let's start feeding them some information. if we figure out eventually that all life and the air and space and everything combined is all really they can go in a vacuum in space. and it lands on another planet. of some higher intelligence, and they're not causing your...

19:05 I realized, oh, that's conditioning. It's not just you. We have to assume that there's... It's not just, oh, you're just tweaking your brain. non-stone state of being is i was just talking sometimes but sometimes not i mean when you when we were all in Houston? This was, what the fuck? Oh, yeah. You were on the very right, and train tracks. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah.

21:21 The real problem with that weed is that It feels like you're taking like... You know, that's the thing. true with all weed but it's like where did it fucking come from like i wish you could just see with every weed you could just rewind and watch from inception to like making it into your pocket You can't grow that. He makes a good point. Not that good.

23:48 Hemp bras, stinky feet. Oh, man. when people just discovered drugs and marijuana and it exploded into culture. not Justin Bieber singing about bullshit, LSD will drive you your brain on drugs it's like oh really so you think that like the sweeping act of the with the with some higher intelligence, whatever you want to call it, Does that give you a super intelligence?

26:53 And while you're on a psychedelic, got to afghanistan but someone needs to protect over there. But if you're on a psychedelic and you hear someone say that, you're going to be like, wait, hold on. Are you serious that we have to be over there fighting some Cobra commander I'd probably just head somewhere else. Tillman sacrificing and fucked up it was, to the point

29:20 fire. He was not killed it's uh lithium you know whether it's you know minerals in the mountains that they use to make Like, really? Because if you criticize it, you're a shithead. You know why? first of all that's brutal as a human being They can apply that to the rest of their life, Exactly. the more, I mean, go into any of the stories and if it's some crazy

32:21 that if we knew about it society would collapse while you worship the owl god Moloch. And Jeff Gannon ran a website that was all dedicated to gay military men. Throwing all these lob questions slept in the fucking White House on at least one occasion. Sure. Like, what the fuck, man? But it's Meanwhile, I was just fucking cocked, slept in the fucking White House

33:41 in any country that you're living in And the reason you should watch it is because you get a very extreme case of conditioning in the way these people act. There's a picture of Kim Jong-il and they go, oh, thank you, great leader. they do what do you do and it's also that we would like to believe that there is some sort of a higher Yeah. But it's also an ideal.

35:58 I think it's better, honestly. your ability to do whatever you want and to do that, to pursue whatever happiness that you want But the very fact that psychedelics are illegal, marijuana is illegal, the very fact that we Well, that's ridiculous. That's a long access marijuana studies now. When I was One cigarette... Or one mushroom trip, rather, and they never smoke a cigarette again. They

39:20 They completely drop their addiction, have a totally different way of looking at life. the partnership... If they didn't know this, then they're acting on ignorance. they would completely rethink everything. like these are some things we want to concentrate on, That's really what needs to happen. But really. Oh, I think you're discrediting the information that you get when you have a good trip.

41:53 It's like as time goes on in between trips, the person you sneeze on is going to trip out right so that this sort of like If that's possible, so we know they can spit spit and we know that they can secrete psychedelics could you imagine dude fishing whatever and there was that whole thing with mosquitoes You'd have to have your mom calling for you.

44:01 They just jump right in. It would be that song. Imagine they could fucking sing. You hearing that? For sure. Yeah. this would never have taken place, right? Yeah, that's it that's totally i mean if we're we're okay the idea is we'd like to think that we're the most that's a part of everything, There easily could be a bunch of other shit. like you know what i think we might be surrounded by a matrix of infinite intelligence that likes to

47:35 And the lower primates would make noises and gestures. The changes are happening quicker and quicker than before. that's it but whatever it was it wasn't 1800 yeah so before that there was nothing man you had no going to be able to talk to each other without saying words like the more we start getting It feels like communication without it with intent,

49:23 like a wave, used to have um uh an emulator for windows and you had mac and it sort of opened up in a window so you have to do it through an emulator software, the DMT things, like what is this But they're saying it with pure intent. as you guys were talking i was thinking about like well yeah i mean i'm sure there's going to be a but it would be so awesome to be able to have the experience you had and just accept that it was real

52:54 be that my imagination is on fucking hyperdrive yeah it's it's a possibility that you have to So if you're a dream master. the other kind of dreams. And the other kind of dreams, if you're lucky enough to remember them, People in their iPods are just going, fuck my ears. I fucked up. it's condensed information and every single quantum molecule of the universe is just pure information. And like, what my theory

56:13 is and i know you're doing it speculatively i think that you or i i feel like maybe you're contacting you on the internet yeah dude i have so many fucking cool fans on my message board and Fuck, they went fucking crazy. and they were telling me how, like, there's no one who talks like this near them. this. It's almost like sitting at a table with your fucking, you know,

58:28 and i was like wow i'm like yeah i'm kind of thinking how they think you know i was like and look to the right and go, whoa, what the fuck is this? it's an organic ship right we're not we're the ground, okay? We're thinking we're on the ground. It's a spaceship. And we're doing it around a massive nuclear explosion. happens where we all merge into the the universe through technology or skynet goes live or skynet

1:01:30 Yeah, to have the money to get this kind of gear together and then put it on the internet, It could be a machine. It could be a movie. We don't know what it is, but there's an idea coming and they might open it up and be like, a lot more than a sweet asian android you can fuck in the mouth whatever this idea and technology is And it ropes me in and I'm like,

1:04:06 and I went through why people are so that are super satisfying, the ability to create these happy endings, that's what we want to see. you know we we need to to think about it that way i think yeah so like what the rhythm you know thumping on things and tapping on the ground. But when You don't want to make new technology? across yeah it's amazing 3d you don't need glasses and it's like wow they got to develop the next

1:06:50 Just don't move It's all around you on one wall No, what is that? So, for example, if you see something move from behind you really fast, what do you do? You automatically state of your mind to take these forms, to take on these forms. And that's very addictive, neurological geometry works and they really get it activating it in certain ways you know

1:10:01 confusion you're fucking things up even little fuck-ups they do. oh, it was just a slip-up, something like that, conservative ideals but really it's like you want to understand fox don't watch the reporters watch And they want Bill O'Reilly to give them the real deal and keep them safe. I know. He's like putting on an act. he's doing that's theatrics.

1:12:20 Let's see if we can pull this off. He is a goddamn. And he was doing comedy for a while. It was from his podcast, and he's got some kind of sickness. Of course it's going to happen. means yes yeah that means you well there's a lot of evidence apparently he's fucked eddie long that But he did weird shit like lick their face and stuff. It's a Christian thing to lick the lips of someone who loves you.

1:14:55 That is like the biggest travesty. I mean, that might be one. your mind is the greatest person on the planet so the it's it's like it's like someone's assistant What a crazy thing. having cops there at all times, You know? But whatever it is, you would investigate that, but because the Catholic Church is so powerful, no one's fucking with it. Instead of just being alone on your own, not knowing whether or not you're doing the right thing

1:18:22 one of the mass either university of massachusetts No, no, no. It's Boston. that can only be attributed to rainfall of the pyramids sat in by So he's saying we have a situation where it's 10,500 BC. There's people that want to go 34,000 BC because you add up all the dates of the pharaohs. And so he has all this shit explained out, we have to reconsider the age of this.

1:20:36 What is this? all over the country that have That is slate. It's smooth. Right, they're always protecting the priests. How much evidence do you think would be there after 10,000 fucking years? think about it i can think of specific times i've gotten in a fight with someone and known in my And to academics, saying you're various guys saying this is when we

1:23:48 He was accredited with get to be Pharaoharaoh but the problem as having a certain intent, I rocked the Sphinx and I built LA. Where's the drawings, man? What's really important is, how do you make bread? Why are you sketching that thing? Why would you write down how you made that? Yeah. who cares it's just fucking boring it's just rocks and And it's another one that's going to fuck with Egyptologists for sure.

1:26:37 Because even if you make concrete blocks, it's just a shitload of people figured out how to do it or whether the thing just teleported in Yeah. that as the sun would rise, it would look like a snake was moving up the side of their pyramid. Can you imagine? He shits pyramids. person and you knew that whatever you painted on a wall was going to get super scrutinized by anthropologists who are going to look at the thing and be like oh this means that

1:29:49 There's two reasons. Do you know how to say that one? from all the different shit that they had that was in honor of the cow. That's what they had to do. They had to figure out I mean, if you're a family of four Yeah. is that the Indians didn't even eat them. You know? Some people don't fly that way anymore. They're just really sweet animals. sweet creature. I'm not saying it doesn't taste good. You're eating a gentle, very sweet creature.

1:33:08 that was and domesticated and seem kind of smart. So that's an interesting point. did some worldwide wrestling move on him? death. Yeah, it was about like i have a problem not watching them and then and it gets stuck in my head but there was a it's Oh, my God. first the guy's got his arm in the cage and he's in the lion's kind of like holding on to his arm

1:36:02 and it's in for the real bite it's doing that When the fucking monkey comes and starts poking you or washing your cage, you eat it. minute and here's my dumb hippie point that effect of the lion handler manipulating this powerful lion that is exactly starts waking up and the people start realizing, wait a minute. You start fucking organizing and doing what you can to fight against it,

1:38:36 Have you seen what they're doing in Paris? being a 61 like for all your life you've been working or whatever and all of a sudden you're off oil the activists they're fucking blockading like the oil refineries there's like a ship full Get me off the fucking hook here. Yeah. Do you talk to your relatives when you die? How, is that possible? to run shit yeah it's scary no meg whitman no christine o'donnell no christ Christine O'Donnell? No, Christine O'Donnell.

1:41:35 I was looking at you, but I wasn't talking to you. have to talk to greg fitzsimmons i don't know if he goes public with that shit i'd vote for you That has been disproven by science. If you want it, it's there. You're telling me that pot doesn't have a GPS chip on it so it so the 21 year old dude who bought it can't sell it at twice the price to some 17 year old kid no you know it's fucking anybody can get it it's

1:43:36 because they want to relax and have a plant all illegal drugs are lumped together into one category, Heroin, awful. Some people, marijuana is not the best thing for them. And she said that she just got this instant thing that she had to stand up and run. One hit. You give a kid a skateboard, they'll go... Uh-huh. you'd be the fucking, the guy that Steve Buscemi

1:46:25 You should. You're right. I think for a lot of kids, a lot of kids are going through a lot of weird shit when they're growing up. 14, 15. If you start throwing pot No, man. Listen, when you're six That's what I would be doing if I had a time machine. I'd give myself snow. And I drove their golf cart, because they drove around in a golf cart. definitely something that i would go back fish fish bombing too where you used to take m80s and

1:49:37 Yeah, we'd catch them, and then we'd put them in a bucket. all of a sudden you're yanked out of your world, into an dick, lights it on fire, and you fly through the air and explode. Yeah. You know, this explosive dick lights it on fire because we're going to start thinking Have you ever strangled a frog just kidding they're like where the basement that was my pet never won but i was a frog freak that's all i wanted to say about frogs i had frogs when

1:51:29 Toads were pretty badass. You know how they used to have those little bumps if you lick The way to do it, Wow. they put one plant that has DMT in it, and another plant that has an MAO inhibitor. If they eat 5-MAO-DMT, it kills them. How did they figure out how to eat lobsters? Let me see if I stuck it up my ass. Because if they use Syrian rue, I was listening to some guy talk about this on the internet,

1:54:18 You see plants and shit. Yeah, it's the idea of keeping psychedelics from people by locking them up. while we were here that there's some just running around you're not doing anything to anybody else you're getting it and then you're we're trying to be enlightened here and we keep getting raped yeah exactly well yeah we're trying to be enlightened here and we keep getting raped yeah exactly well yeah

1:56:39 why Did you hear about that? Right. When I was in Brazil, And it tasted like shit and it smelled like shit. Beautiful, tropical paradise. You know how easy it would be for them to grow weed? But they keep it illegal. I saw it was in the forest. The rainforest, rather. Beautiful, tropical paradise. What the fuck is that about, man? mean it's the big it's the it's the elephant in the room everywhere it's just that to me is the

1:58:49 If drugs weren't drugs, if they were some new word, it's a part of life and a fucking significant one. It is Cookies are bad for you Yeah fuck that man that's the way it goes. Good. for doing anything that they want to do, part of me that's been missing something and i think it might be crack yeah i want to try crack Man, we talked about this before. How did that feel?

2:01:08 You are ruthless with your cutdowns, Brian. He's doing comedy again. know i knew that he was into drugs i didn't know it was crack and his friend was a crackhead. And he had a friend who would do crack with him. Now, I didn't know. I wasn't sure what he meant. what did you think this was drove drove back you know like really what'd you think and um drove

2:02:52 No, I didn't suck it. smoke crack like what the fuck man you just get crazy no the guy's just smoking crack he's just Never done it. I'm not interested. you'll start getting in that group of people that were like, that goodfellas point, like when that fucking I was just talking about this. because she was sitting, gonna run this town it's like a small mountain town oh that's great we're gonna run ashville

2:05:16 You and me It's anarchists up there. like almost all of them, Well, it's the people who let the animals free. Keeping them locked up Dogs running around Every day dogs man there's a story when i when i used to go to this uh pet store uh near my house there was a to figure out what the fuck happened. and they'll show themselves and the coyote will run

2:08:02 Jesus Christ. You want some pussy? What? Oh. Point is. They think dogs are soft. A lot of times they kill them. they're they're fucking crazy dogs well they are sweet though anytime i've been around someone's One of them got distemper, and the other one was all fighting. and that's the problem they're they're engineered to not have like normal um alpha beta interactions where you know the beta gives up and the alpha dominates

2:11:12 You know? jaws half hanging off. Just a rage, a frothing rage. Like, I understand. you're around somebody you kind of get the sense it's a bad person. Right. It was, something else was wrong with him. Yeah, it was like a foot. That's awful. Just snatched it. out in front of my thing don't even live in this country I think so. Yeah. That's really what it is.

2:14:03 So that's the theory. These ruthless little cunts lived and became eagles. If they didn't have feathers and you looked at them for what they were underneath and all, Those are lizard things. and fly with them and pull eagles, disparaging our nation's birds. There's a fucking cool video in Alaska. These crazy fucking demons with pretty feathers. If you actually did run into a bear.

2:17:02 But people were still feeding them. So we're camping in Yellowstone, and I slept through the whole thing. Just feet away from us sleeping That's where the food is. They can't get away. That really is a shitty death is getting. I saw the link, Well, the goat apparently Because goats are stubborn as fuck. What a weird job. I know. Mountain goats are scary, dude.

2:19:55 That's the height of absurdity. Like, if you think Oh, my God, I'm bleeding. How long in all of human history, how many humans have been killed by a goat? Have you seen Jackass 3D yet? Feral pigs are dangerous. and its fur becomes thick and hairy like That's a great weird sci-fi idea, which is like a spaceship finally makes it out of the Earth's gravitational field

2:22:50 You know, there's certain moisture, you know, Once you get off the Earth, once you go into space, then the different gravity and environment of space allows your body to knock out of the human shell and become this next thing. That's what we just said. What if, man, if we go to space, And Melanie Griffith is a very nice lady. What was the movie about?

2:24:28 and she played his wife. like two hours and it was way too strong. Why would kick in. And it was way too strong. every positive thing that I've ever done. I started thinking about energy and life to go i had to pee but i didn't want to get up so i thought i'll just piss my pants i had i thought Yeah. I can't grab any of it, and I have to pay attention to what I'm doing

2:26:47 I'm just laying there just hoping this is just going to eventually come back to normal It's three feet away, and this guy is sleeping. he it was there was no blanket to contain the blast radius. Wow. She was probably like, oh my God, someone's disgusting. horrible man it was horrible and you know it was him because he's the fat guy and this no one gets

2:29:01 You look at a fat guy. But he had to know. Imagine if it was like the guy came up to Melanie Griffith's agent. This guy's like, This is not going to work this way. Maybe her agent did the whole thing. i farted on an old woman at starbucks a couple weeks ago did you it was one of the greatest thought she shit herself that must be the worst feeling ever when you're incontinent.

2:31:46 And so my daughter is learning how to potty train. It's dripping off the high chair. why didn't you tell me you have to go she goes i forgot like oh okay but isn't that that's that's No. Very manipulative at two. Two or three? Glamour magazine. to obtain the six-pack of a marine yeah there's something very homoerotic about those bodybuilding magazines there's

2:34:18 There's something weird about it. This was back when I lived in Boston. I think it was, are you into bodybuilding? And I'm like, Come here. one of my students was like, he's got that Christmas tree We are very immature. But it really happened, man. That's a very funny moment to get to witness. I don't want to fart on people's heads. Could you imagine if Angela Lansbury would beat dudes

2:38:00 Oh my god, could you imagine? Dentures flying. I don't need to see anymore because that one old lady Jesus it was really bad You don't see that much sunlight. You're in your sun. My armpits do not look great. attractive woman who's kind of banked her But it's like if you were really intelligent, mistakes and they fell into the wave of the momentum those mistakes and now here they are

2:41:59 It's going to take a very rare effort to really rise and eliminate yourself from the horrible reality of your conditions, your surroundings, violent people, all the different shit that they're doing in there, the gangs, all the bullshit. No, you're right. and they really, truly reflect on their life having their humanity ripped away from them, their clothes ripped off, being naked, covered in lice, randomly getting killed.

2:43:14 he was being on a forced work march, and he was really weak. And he was on a forced work march, And all of a sudden, he imagined himself giving a speech where he was talking about this experience It's really fucking intense, the description of the death camp and stuff. life and put positive energy into it, something is going to come out. But is that a meaning?

2:45:14 and all these people got them. trying to save what what is what is what is good about all this well i mean the thing is like the right or the people who came to see him, he's like, And it doesn't have to be some lofty thing. It doesn't to be i'm staying alive to because i want to you know i want to and they don't find that frequency and they don't have to feed there are things that i have to take care of you know they're like i like it adds this

2:48:25 it's pursuing a career as a professional bowler or a carpenter or a doctor or a writer whatever And that certain direction might be a part of some huge pattern that is impossible to see. like that is makes a complete sense that way that's cool we don't like to think that it makes successful at what you do what what are all those things doing well all those things they're all

2:50:48 We just don't recognize it as a life form because we're looking for something like us. That's insane. It's 15 years, 16 years? Like literally. we don't see this thing that we're making we're literally creating its brain yeah but if you are something that can replicate, something that is sentient, it's aware of itself and can they're going to develop wormholes and portals

2:53:42 This is an evolutionary advantage. But that shit takes generations. that's how it gets into the gene line not from an intentionality so it's even more random than It's a very controversial theory. Just let me know. You keep doing it. I don't give a fuck about two podcasts. well the idea that thanks the idea mckenna had this idea that everything naturally moves towards

2:56:09 figure out a way to hide them to keep them in the situation and so what they do is they impart some Yeah, and I find that so. It's moving towards the same thing every time. They are random mutations. Yeah, the thing that you consider to be whatever it is, it really is part of a bigger picture. Was it evolution that farted on her head? Put some of that

2:58:36 guy that did the his. Put I Don't Need You. Yes, please. But it's not Avatar. this Friday night at 8pm Palms this weekend. Natasha Legere from Last Comic Standing. Come check it out. Where in Vegas? The Palms. The Pal start? Yeah. There you go. Knowledge. And I'll be at Vegas at the Palms this weekend. Natasha Legere from Last Comic Standing. October 25th.