Joe Rogan Experience #505 — Matt Farah & Alex Ross Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Danny Trejo? That was Danny Trejo? Are you like an engineer, a designer, Congratulations, young man. He's a fucking maniac. 84 Supra look at that you hear the bat you hear the one but get all these every He was funny. you say created and started. that's crazy. They couldn't even spell it correctly either, so- Kooky comedy with a K. If it doesn't it will

2:37 Trying to figure it out which is a Porsche GT3, and he turns them into these ridiculous GT3s. And you just pull at that a little more. 1800s, late 1800s. like those 1970s models with the big wooden steering wheel and the skinny-ass tires. Prehistoric. with million-dollar cars, 65? 20 million or something crazy? right now. That was the first year. That's typical Porsche, right? They'll

6:12 No, I was, look, I find it fascinating. Dude, it is happening. Terrible handling. going through the canyons Cheetahs don't even was the golden era though. They need to, I like the air-cooled, but they just haven't driven these. Shit. What they did, though, on the 993, they were running out of money. Oh, mine was a hunk of shit. Sell your soul. I think it was Motor Trend was that one. Whatever it was. I was like, that is goddamn car. Yeah, I think it was... It's that good. Sell your soul. I think it was

8:59 today, which is awesome. I got out of your car Well, you have driven. To give people Yeah. It was called Kermit because it was green. I remember you saw a video. joe geniuses there have been geniuses that have, over the course of decades, Like racing tires and you can do drag slicks. You know what I mean? But they fucking, the 911 that much faster what's the zero to 60 if you just had it in drive and you stomped on it um it

12:46 say if you did it manually Really? For folks who are on the subway now, again, word you're supposed to know how to pronounce it hey do you know how to do it yeah who no So they call it PDK. It came out in 08. and they even screwed up that. your palm would bump that stupid button. And instead of being in third, and then as you're turning, your palm would bump

14:40 Porsches are very fucking determined. Yeah we do it Fuck yeah. That is kind of cool. And the Cayenne, right? I'm not into that shit. navigation on those things it's basically an iPhone yeah yeah yeah You can have that same, you know, an 89 Porsche. You can still like – like you drive something from the 70s and you don't want to like huck it into a corner because you're like, if this goes wrong, I'm dead.

17:03 One before that. They're like, oh, my God. In 89, that was a fucking the future. It was 89, and some dude drove by with a red one and everybody's jaw dropped. They're like, oh my god. In 89, It's crazy. The rods are titanium. the Acura NSX, after the Porsche fucked me so hard. who don't like white people talking about buying shit But those NSXs, the cool thing about them was

18:45 Yeah. I still have mine. They're fucking up the whole thing. 1973 type shit 40 years ago That was dog shit compared to the European ones was the RS America the night before yeah my god We're into geekdom ladies and gentlemen the 964 is the car before the 993 so we're talking about $10.50 a gallon. and they fuck them by giving them low horsepower because if they jumped them up to where the Porsche 911 is

21:36 Probably to death. He could be our Obi-Wan. I think that would be the most ridiculous car ever. You know, like you said, Porsche likes to hamstring the Cayman. keep your old car viable. And it has an engine He don't give a fuck about the M3, kid. That's available Cause the reason That's the 1M? Isn't that tasty? So they make an M. Twin turbo 6. Oh, really?

24:53 He owns one. That's what I'm looking for, bitch. I didn't even see this. It's pretty nuts. I love the idea. I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it's pretty nuts. I didn't even see this. It's like a stubby M3. He used it as a Google search. Like cave people. I'm no fucking Michael Knight or something. It's a much better system than the Porsche. It's actually nice of them.

27:14 and then I was doing a pretty good clip up Angeles Crest, And you still have it. That's the C5, right? You bought this fucking car in the 1980s. New in 98. The interior is made of shitty plastic, like, yeah, to you. It's awesome to me. Good move. Always a good move. They're good platforms to start your build. Yeah. All carbon fiber. They took a great car, the ZR1, and they said, you know what?

30:13 Pull it up, Jamie. It's a gorgeous gorgeous car and it's super duper. There's a video too, right? So Pratt & Miller basically is the company that builds GM's factory race cars. Looking at it now, it's fucking so silly to think that that was a $200,000 car, though. But that's a mean, mean car, man. like those those uh magnus walker porsches with the momo prototipo steering wheels there's

32:29 And then you react to it With the fucking wheel Should have had a fucking tiller then, huh? Everyone didn't hate us. Yeah. But listen, man. He can play a really good pool. I said I did play well. You were holding the cue like, well, we play snooker. The last game, there was one ball left. I know, dude. Well, it's this table, really. an Ernesto cut table, like, a big deal.

35:20 Dude, I hit it hard. You say, why'd you Okay, so Americans from Claypool. It was in the third house. No, you can't. So when someone starts saying that every American does this, I go, that is a poorly thought out idea, my friend. I just met my first actually dumb English person. We were just in the UK and yeah okay well yeah okay maybe they worked them too much and the guy was tired

37:58 Could be catching up to him. Holy shit. There's a photo of it right there. Yeah, I was. I used to love that show. Am I too young? Yeah, it was on real TV. without the buffoonery. So it's hard to see eye to eye with him. But he was just talking about how You are not one to judge someone else for making excuses no right now never made an excuse Yeah.

41:03 Yeah. Like, that's fucking retarded. 996 Turbo, you know, and I went I've been dragged races before you and your daddy's dick a friend of mine's got a 69 charger in England you drag races Got a parachute. See shit. Yeah, so there you go. So I'm talking nonsense again and John this fucking English people He's like furniture in a way. I am. They make the most satisfying cars.

42:49 bend in front of your eyes while you're driving a It's only $190,000. You can add exhaust because it's a turbocharged car, right? They feel like the best brakes ever. Wow. Can you get them for like 70 grand yet? Yep. period of just fucking terrible ideas and shitty design and shit build You can start getting the double-clutch Corvette, which I think is a thing.

45:28 The one that you drove, no Chris Harris drove one in a 911. Which? Jump up, huge jump, the new Corvettes. you've driven it. Which? Jump up. They're so cool that Ferrari licenses the design. And Ferrari uses them on the F12, the 458, all the together. I bet it was part of the licensing. Yeah. Think about that. The Viper, Camaros or anything. We didn't have them, but

47:31 We're going to replace your engine. Yeah. Yeah. We're not going to be driving soon. A Ferrari with a manual gearbox is so fun. It's the people that are becoming really rich. Fucking West Coast Customs and Platinum Motorsport garbage. Did you ever have Spinners? No, that was probably only in your neighborhood. There was Stayers. Yeah, people gave up on that shit quick.

50:44 And then somebody goes back with their car and says, says oh i want you to warranty it and fix it Yeah, you're just going. Does it shift itself, or do you shift it? No, no, no. Oh, no. Now, is there a clutch? Yes, there's one gear. It's two gears. Two gears. Yeah. Does it shift itself, or do you shift it? Whoa. Yeah, where's the chart? So pretty much it would have been easier to fly a plane

52:18 that people had to do There it is. That lever is your throttle. Open gas 2 or 3 notches. I don't even start my engine with a flint. Oh my god, that's insane. How else is he getting this money? Crazy. if you want to feel really sick. that are worth a million dollars each? Okay, if he's alive today, he'd go to Shark Works, get himself a fucking real car.

55:28 He'd be in a Patamera Turbo with 26 inches. Look at that. If I found a dodo bird today, if there was Try and flush it down the toilet. Yeah, so they have the regular. I was telling someone, he goes, what are you talking about? And the P1 shoots fire, fire. wasn't overly impressed with that 918 i mean as far as technology it looks and does all that stuff

58:08 unbelievably cool cars, and a visceral car, You take the driver out of the equation if the shifting is done for you. Yeah. you're driving you know in GT threes that have over 500 power and then you're thinking like now you're driving you know in gt3s that have over 500 Lotus and stuff with the Elise XC. Nobody with money wants one. technology in there carbon fiber and it's got a ton of horsepower and stuff but they charge you for it whereas so the viper was like 140 000 whereas

1:01:10 There's more money. It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street. Really? What's it called? The BAC Mono? Yeah, that thing's sick. It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street. The Ariel Adam is a ridiculous car. You're on the street and you're wearing a helmet? You can't give anyone a fucking ride. It's like you've got to keep that bitch clean.

1:02:29 But there's just trashed newspapers. and you could just see them driving down to Palo Alto. Very, very quick. You're immortal, obviously. Do you have a different nose structure? an actual death wish, Oh, Christ. brings a fucking dog well either. Like, you buy the car. You don't do it. What the fuck kind of car piece of shit is that? And that's the Noble M600, yeah.

1:05:20 But you saw that thing didn't even last the test. They implied that the Tesla Roadster ran out of battery. actually it was being pushed for a completely unrelated reason. The Zenvo guys actually ended up suing them, though. First one broke, and then the second one caught on fire? he sent me a car and one of them breaks yeah Yeah, you were you were saying don't kill yourself and get a 73 and then was like, well, everybody says that you drive one of those things and it's

1:08:00 That looks like what an NSX from 2015 should look like. It's just a badge at this point. if you want to be that stupid. It wasn't me. Down the river, sail! They're comfortable, friendly, very, very successful people. Persians are super successful. Oh, my God. Can we just get out of here sometime today? Come on, bro. All right? Hopefully we don't get to the point where you need that one.

1:10:40 He plays Nick. No big deal. his dick that's how she got younger in that relationship she lost about five years of age We'll call it Snatch 2. No, wait, which fuck? He died in real life, too, right? Lockstock was great and Snatch was great. playing abilities how we like to brag on what we can do and it's never really true We're too stupid to understand the German cars. They give us a watered-down version. What the fuck bro?

1:13:03 Dude I admitted the uh Yeah no I11 song guy too. Yeah, dude. I admitted the I'll tell you what I wouldn't do. with half the shit I'm not a famous musician Oh, you know what? They're not anymore. This is it. You can tell everybody. It's hard to immigrate to America. It was a perfect score. Okay, so you guys make good TV. Right. Okay. You didn't eat, well,

1:15:50 how crazy this country is. So I'll tell you the honest, honest truth. I just dropped Eaton, son. Because you were too posh. That's your neighbor or something. you come over here and you really can do all this crazy shit here that I could never have done. Yeah. What the fuck? I wear only barber when I'm in the UK. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Don't be surprised when you get beaten up. I'm always surprised when you get beaten up. I wear Old Man Barber when I'm in the UK.

1:18:19 You're just fucking getting beaten up left and right. He's like, well, they were wearing the wrong jacket, It's like V for Vendetta against all-weather gear. What was up with that? Actually, I don't know how you could say way worse, because everybody would say Andusky. You know, that's like kids that were, you know, six to ten years old. If you look at him later on, maybe when he got all his white hair.

1:20:29 So he would make your wish come true. That was his letter. Or maybe I have. You know? That's right. What was weird though like at the time you would see him, right? You would see him. He would get all the guy had become a huge celebrity Because you know that he was praying those kids didn't recover. Go ahead, talk to him. He must be at the end. He's not luc werewolves, fairies. I think he's just making shit up. Go ahead, talk to him.

1:23:16 Well, okay, so it's not a good idea to have, you know, I'm talking about like a have a little friend. I know how hard to fish for sharks. Those fins do not make Stop circumcision? Cars like faster than Formula One cars, but it's got badges all over it. Just big dicks. Yes. I'd stuff it right into a shark's dick and blow him right out of the water, It's cold as ice.

1:26:20 mouth this is all i have to say if you're a okay, and you have a pet fish and it dies and you cry, you're a fucking silly bitch. I've never even had a goldfish. Yes. that were like silver. No, they're boring is you'd go to the store I was young and single, man. and unleash it. And at one point in time, I think, time it right, because if you time it wrong,

1:28:18 Okay. And then you put the goldfish in, and you Yeah, and they don't touch each other at all, right? Maybe it was just your ones. That's the rest of my night. when I was a kid, I had a turtle, They nip your little fingers and stuff. No, I got rid of the piranhas. It was in another country, probably. these fucking things into other areas. worst fucking place on earth. It's not

1:30:34 and fucking pulls himself out of the ashes like My sister lives in Florida. and they have those pythons that just, I mean, these are murderous fucking heartless monsters from the depths of the swamps. Oh, well, they have python exterminators. they're eating everything they're very like three bodies out there you're not fine they eat alligators Yeah, but the problem is the more they fight, the more they constrict, right?

1:32:30 it gets a hold of him, it's like, it's so dangerous than crocodiles. It was badass. So this python has wrapped around a goddamn crocodile. I mean, any crocodile's a crocodile. and then its whole body just slowly takes it. You're keeping a monster in your house, Yes. And all these lions and shit were wandering down the street. i'm watch it next week or come back i can't believe i recommended that piece of shit

1:35:42 Yeah, but still. You can still get it with a stick. While shifting it that way It's while shifting It's the metal Right While you're driving When you're playing Outrun, okay? quickly, get over to the next level, get the better unless you're a paid I have no problem It's got its place, but I don't think the gt3 was the place Like I've seen that a bunch of times.

1:37:33 Where does that come from? The sad thing is, that's like a $200 fix, like in our parts. or a Turbo that felt a little sloppy. Yeah, you can do those. They make shifters. from the older cars. You know, Maybe they should have, like, a button overdrive, you know? That was another thing I didn't want in that car. They wanted to paint it up like a Spanish hooker.

1:39:51 Silver, red, and then black. And you're like, oh. Did you pay for that? and interesting, so the back wheel well Oh, there it is. I mean, that is a very pretty caring out everywhere. This is when... It's a beautiful-looking thing. Oh, there it is. Fifteen minutes later, I'm at my house, I said, that's it. Maybe I won't and I let it sit around for a year, and then I just got rid of it

1:42:01 and then i got a gt3 with the money yeah that's what i did and then. Well, I got rid of that, and then I got a GT3 with the money. Yeah. That's what I did. And then I was like, oh, this thing works. kind of you know impressive because the guy literally built it in his own little fucking there's a lot of pressure, like, to, you know, like you said, Those crazy challengers. They were charging

1:43:41 1.4 million is what I sold for, yeah. Yeah, a show car that was just a little prissy little bitch You didn't want it to happen to you. Yeah. Was it a crazy car? than the m4 right the new m4 is 300 pounds yeah yeah closing it on four grand that much it's heavy the same engine, right? It has a parachute When I drove it, I hit like, I hit, I think, 175 or 180 and the windows started peeling out away from the door frame.

1:46:17 Like, the internet has fucked it up. Most of these people, if they rode in a 500 horsepower car, would shit their pants. Right. But they see on the internet some psycho with a dyno car that's putting down 1,500, and they go, if yours doesn't make 1,500, it ain't shit. And like the shittiest one is still pretty fucking solid. in showrooms for six months and we'll go

1:48:06 And it's like, no, it's not. Yeah. Bought this car for his collection he's a huge collection of cars bought this car for his You lose traction. so funny yeah you got it with the the closer to a racing tire it is the more heat you got so what left and right. Why can't they put magnets all around the tires and all around the cars itself all around the

1:50:50 but you know what I mean. I'm not a great driver, So I drove 365 Did you do the over the roof toss? I was good with that. they're going to be fine. You fold them up real quick, toss them. Yeah. Bam. The muscle memory is still going right now. Because I could pack that bitch with newspapers. That was the most I ever had. daily, son. Especially as high

1:53:42 Dude, you were driving. is driving my van, and we're fucking It's nerve-wracking. and we had the van with lights,ed up to the back of the van, Oh my god that is ridiculous. Cameras on while we're testing said equipment. It's a lot. You hear it? That really is. In the shower, you're fucking shifting and shit? That's great. can. Have you seen that one? In a soda can?

1:56:46 There's too much coffee in here. So as these people are moving in, I'm going... When it's right next to you, it's creepy. Urkel? So it'll be fucking spiders and bullshit. So that just kind of fucking got me on that. Urkel's brother. There was a family... Oh, yeah. So the. $40. Because he has a GT3, so it's GT3 guys. Crazy, man. Yeah. Ah, right. Marijuana is the number one.

1:59:59 Right on Heaven's Door. It's so easy. Was he fucked? he starts clenching the seat, and I go, what? We had a friend in town, and there was a little miscommunication. And that's high. those are a good dose, because the Jolly Ranchers, The Chiba Chews are the really really gnarly ones They know that there's a market You know? I could have just sent a fucking camera down here and got the exact same thing.

2:03:29 month of this searching for the plane, of how one would go about searching for the plane. The plane is just the size of a plane. Yeah. 73. That's true. They tied a bunch of fucking lift bags to it and thought that would work? And then there was a Soviet nuclear bomb. the Freedom of Information Act had come about And that had become, Did they find it? What do you think?

2:06:13 And it worked just as well. Miles deep in the ocean. Dropped it back to the bottom of the ocean. Oh, really? I don't know. these sunken boats in California. No, it's theirs. How can you pay taxes on gold? I don't remember. I may have misconstrued the story. What the fuck's going on here, man? or diamonds or have it be worth that, that a way better idea yeah then paper credit cards and

2:09:11 Well, you know, I think it's possible said i should buy bitcoins instead of cars and i said fuck you i can still drive my cars where's Fascinating shit. I don't know how that stuff works. Yes, I am that fucking horrible. Ooh, $100,000? No, for anybody. There was always no roof, you know? are somewhere along the way, people started saying, Yeah, the MP12CZ

2:12:10 Yeah. It goes to the spider version. No. Yeah, it's cool. I was like, holy shit. I thought it looked actually better than the Aston Martin, which was the DB7. I was like, this is the best car I've ever driven. is everything that you want The throttle's touchy, it's stiff, Do you like luxury cars at all? Do you like They're good on farms. We have great ideas.

2:15:17 Ford owns Jaguar and Land Rover? Whoa. There's a company in England called TVR. Why do you remember that one? There's a fucking new one with Scarlett Johansson. He has real hair then. There's a TVR. I love that movie. That's like's Land. I love that movie. Just watch a scene where there's actually a car chase in it. Ferraris. Yeah, it was. Whoa, that's so crazy.

2:18:13 What the fuck do you call it. Yeah. Sounds perfect. That car was amazing. Wow. Like the actual lead designer is a Veyron. He just has this super light car. you were saying while you were driving that That's what's a good like all this crazy power You can use all of it. Yeah. Yeah, and you just light light is good. You don't need a zillion horsepower

2:21:03 But my body would shrivel up into a fucking old man. Old is always... old. Whereas something that is stick dog shit. Fuck you. It was one of my favorite cars ever. Ferrari has that now. They have all the on the thumbs me Ferrari has that now? The horn is on the steering wheel? The horn is in the same place as it was in your car What is exciting right now?

2:23:02 the Mustang. Other people have driven it and said different things. Are they going to have a GT, though? They'll do something like that. which is the best name fucking back tires. they had it working compete with like the new Camaro the LS are big man that's You know like a three thousand pound car would be so much better. Yeah, but there ain't nothing wrong with a 660 pound Dodge Challenger

2:25:45 Yeah, like drag cars. And so they'd go down the track at night with one light, No, the inner ones are auxiliary fog lights or whatever. yeah it used to be ridiculous to have 420 fucking horsepower i just drove a lamborghini fucking same. Oh, my word. It was overrated. Remember that? Because that's what I would worry about. So I don't even know how big are those wheels.

2:28:28 It's got 20-inch wheels. Right. I agree, but... we were doing, It's available on Vimeo. I can't wait to see it. The entire state of Washington. I am driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee. And it's harder than it looks. That's not recommended. Less than this beer right here. It starts Saturday the 24th at 9.30 a.m. Eastern, which is stupid. Well, let me know when it comes out, and we'd be happy to promote it here.

2:31:25 I don't know. Glorious. SharkWorks on Twitter. All right. God damn it, Jamie. Lots of fascinating conversations to have and interesting people to talk to.