Joe Rogan Experience #52 — Steve Rannazzisi Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience All right. Oh baby, I'm a traveler Have love, we'll travel. and then you listen to it, you really appreciate it. But I've been doing that lately. Now. Renazzisi is a bad motherfucker. It's about five guys that grew up together, you said was funny there and then we just tighten it up wow it's fun it's like that It's nice to have both.

4:30 of something funnier, that way is, we're on an FX, You'll never be on the – like what they do is they put it on your back. How silly is that? That's literally the rules. Isn't that incredible? And then Coke will be like, no, I think I heard something, but because I didn't see it, I don't even know if it happened. How silly is that? It's a new half-hour It's a new half hour sitcom.

5:58 No, I've never seen him do stand-up. You don't realize until you leave and you go somewhere else. hooker before he was wearing masks and shit he's so addicted to hookers he's gotta wear like night, you're like, look, my kids are down the hallway. I'm sober. God damn, that's a lot of money. Big hit shows, sometimes they do more. We knew that we were in trouble when we were getting like 1918.

8:00 You're like fucking start updating the wheel. Oh, really? Put your finger in it. on the podcast something something scientific inside this could prevent you from doing other That's amazing. where you know like you your computer is like gonna die so you go plug it into the desk right There's no one there you hide it from. I'm not cleaning this. I'm going to sleep.

10:05 expose TV shows and they went It was shit and cum on the comforter. That's their goddamn sure. when he goes to the hotel. Dude. Oh, hey. She might get horny from it. If I just thought of it, someone's done it before. And most people would go, no, I'm good. You're talking about not knowing somebody before you fuck them. You don't pick favor with me to be your first person. Oh, yeah. That girl's a whore. Not at all. Holy shit. You don't pick Faberman to be your first person.

12:19 Yeah. Faberman does not seem like a guy who's been bullied. He films himself whacking off. Like one's completely scared. Holy shit. at the end. They don't ever show his face. It's great. It's always just dick in the front of the camera that's illegal. Isn't it funny that someone could open the door and you could be rubbing your neck and no one has a problem with it?

14:20 I was in Vancouver and I was naked in my hotel room eating breakfast. And she just shut the door, slammed it. You don't even give someone a chance there's always going to be more to clean. And then I'm like, now I feel awful. you're like i'm here from wednesday to monday right this is gonna get dirty that's cool though And he walks away. I was doing the show Inside the UFC.

16:25 I'm like didn't he say I swear I remember that Because then you start adding shit into it from the other things. pool player too and We're all crazy. that she did this? And so my friend Johnny knew that she was doing this. i hope you're okay here i hope you're okay he's smacking her in the face with his fucking heavy She's huddled up in a corner by the pool table.

18:29 They're like, she's fine. Nothing happened. What's going on what's and she's like um what and they go what what happened they're checking your eyes they're like she's fine nothing happened what's going on here um nothing i just i don't know what happened i think i had a seizure you didn't have a seizure oh i don't know and I can't believe this shit

19:08 You have to get laid. Shit! This fucking crazy bitch is faking seizures It was post 9-11 What if it's like... Because she can't get in Dude, werewolves on a plane it would happen. Who are not in Southern California Like his comedy style He can say the same joke 100 times in a row. Are you judging me? It's so funny because he recently co-hosted the Adam Carolla podcast, and every single message on the thing was like, this is the worst.

22:25 i felt like i had to clap so much he's really good and like me and my friends that were with And the guy throws me – I make him throw the ball, and he goes like two feet to his right. think he had like elbow surgery and then it just never really recovered after that. I have a friend who was So now it's stainless steel over stainless steel. And so the operations they did on your knees then were ungodly.

24:48 Like everything works great. They take cadavers. I thought they were doing that to valve. And this cadaver, when it's put in place, all the other tissue grows around it, tendon, because it's a bigger, thicker tendon. It really rips your shit apart. They didn't have like – He just had like a rubber arm. They just like post him up in the subway where it's like he doesn't have to run that much.

26:40 Yeah. He came in second. Are we on? Oh. cable might suck cable internet how do you do you like that at&t u-verse you're using i really do Since they opened up or whatever, they've had the same problem. Yeah. I don't give a shit. I'm like, how do I know that this is even what he's really saying? I don't need to hear what you're saying. like 75 I'd be like i'm

30:28 I'm like, how do you do this? I don't know. Marilyn, God bless her soul, You would hope that the woman on the other end did not look like this. All sorts of dirty shit. Yeah, she was one of those old school like I've been, No. everybody calm there's nothing going on there yeah the inmates are on the asylum oh my god but I mean, I feel like I still love the place and I go there.

33:12 When I first came there, I'd heard about the Comedy Store. i'd see like james stevens the third singing and fucking you know i'd see like a bunch of shit that This is in Hollywood on Sunset Boulevard. you would see all these great guys. And that's when Mencia started coming That sucks. Good night. nobody says and then he tagged it with my dick And you saw what the potential was.

36:38 I haven't watched it in a long time. It might have been an HBO half hour. This is another level. It's just weird when you realize what you think it is when you're living in Boston. Yeah. Who was more bitter than Harris? that guy would give you a compliment. We all realize it's weird. We should be having a good time here. leave. Get up and leave. Yeah. I mean, there's no

39:21 either we're going to enjoy it or not enjoy it, but we'll do or they want to disrupt the show. But I would buy the whole crowd a shot. Okay, fine. oh, there's all these videos of you dealing with hecklers. Not all of them, but a good percentage of them are the failed actor heckle. You're here right now. What are you doing, Brian? Here. No. It's fun.

42:12 I mean come on If those were on tape All that stuff. for freaks it was a magnet like a homing bean that they would just shoot out like remember that And all of a sudden, she started freaking out at me because I looked at my phone. Most important person in my life as opposed to you, who I just met fucking minutes ago you're very nice but look this shit might be important can you imagine

43:51 of thousands of people in minutes. It's totally changed. See some Jimi Hendrix live. Jimi Hendrix was playing on stage four feet in front of him. Fuck. I mean, it's so distinctively his. you how badass he is with the guitar. It does nothing. night sets where there was like fucking six people in the audience magic man how much crazy shit did the groove where he didn't give a fuck i know he just purely didn't give a fuck those sets

47:56 All right, good night. just said in the way he said it and when he fucking lit it up you were like this is fucking tough to fucking go on after You talk about someone who really, like what you were talking about Hendrix, that he doesn't know how old he is. He's like, guys, I'm 40 years old. I'm 40 years old, guys. And then like 20 minutes later, I'm 45 years it, though. But one of the things that was hilarious is his age. He's like, guys, I'm 40 years old.

49:39 What's with the questions? you never knew where the fuck that guy was no he had a pager he didn't even have a cell phone he with him. Be inside of him. Just fucking wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and you're like, oh, shit. You just got like being John Malkovich eyes. was Joey Diaz. that if you could be me I got your body now, bitch. And he's got this fat body and no personality.

51:43 That's what he does. It's all over festivals? so it's supposed to be some new age, and it's all open to interpretation. it's some sort of a doomsday calendar. And they sit down. So then your thing would be like, look, I kind of don't know what it is, So what good are all those stupid calendars We don't want to see you get hurt. Nice. A mountain lion ate my dog.

54:44 You see animals. One bear ate this guy's car. I saw a lot of deer. I saw turkeys. I saw... You see animals. They don't know what a dashboard is made out of. and just started Anybody living Yeah. They just started eating people's garbage, like Yellowstone or someplace like that. They eat people all the time. People are so stupid about that whole animals eating people thing.

56:36 believe it was in alaska 19 year old woman was killed by a fucking pack of wolves a 19 year old I think mine is too. I bring my son now to the zoo I don't know how to explain that fucking thing. It's an alien. Do you have any kind of boxes All animals, man, all of them are a trip. Yeah. Crocodiles are way more dangerous. Than alligators. Crocodiles are way more dangerous.

58:55 They're right there, dude, right there. not to feed them, alligators are all over the place, man. if the bull comes at you he's like he's never been in a room like this before which immediately i'm And they're all trying to do the right thing for $35 for 14 hours. How do they even get them to just be still enough to walk around? Yeah. Lost a cheetah around.

1:00:58 And we made these people ride them. Is there any chance it can't land in the boxes? boxes totally safe yeah okay so someone's flying a car off a building it's a third store third whatever the fuck they are. in this little metal box, it thinks that that animal is trying to kill it. You haven't seen it yet? I saw that bull thing where he got a blindfold in front of a bull.

1:03:32 Yeah. I think they wanted it to be, but I think because the movie made $50 million and went all said and done, it'll probably make, between DVDs, $200 million. and the rocks got a baseball bat he prefers to use a bat it's got a little moonshine bucket with Kick butt and take names. it was like it was a midnight showing at the Palms. Everyone was laughing together.

1:05:20 or doing something stupid, That makes sense. Oh, that makes sense. It's like very similar every time her yeah it was filthy how hot is she 10 yeah she's a 10 why didn't you record her 25 how what A super hot chick like that could just run a guy. Oh, totally. but then everything else around the boob is awful, yell like mean hurtful shit at you and you go, I don't have friends that talk to me like that.

1:08:18 You want to be a grown-up too? Not like. Yeah, she would get a little crazy. I had no life outside of fighting. not to i went to brody's house one time when he lived with brody with his sister we walked in and before she moved to Palm Springs. Here are the people that are going to come in. yeah i think so i mean okay what his he wants to do with this podcast, his idea is to take a bunch of the really

1:10:40 She's funny. It's Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I mean, it's not perfect. why I moved to Colorado is you know, one of the things I loved about Colorado, It's sincere. you you have a little bit here and there you appreciate that little money that you get when at all those people and you go this is not what are we doing let's spread out yeah this is craziness

1:13:23 the guy in front of his ass you're like I want to let this guy so I took this big bucket of hot water And then it froze even worse. Dude, that should be a great scene in a movie. That's about all you have to worry about. And you knew not to go by trees because you were trained. If that's you, you're fucked. crazy hissy fit. I'll fucking kill You bitches don't appreciate anything.

1:15:43 The thing that always used to get me, man, is when the really big ones like this isn't the end of the power Absolutely. or doing something with your hands. If tornadoes were monsters from outer space, Like, damn, tornado moved. Really? You couldn't see a goddamn... They know how long, in general, they're going to last. Oh, it started off as just golf balls flying from the, you know, what's upstairs?

1:19:06 And I started recording because everything in my back patio was just getting fucked up, And it was just the most horrible thing to watch your car just get beat up by guys. on youtube are like fake fake but it's not it was bricks there were bricks coming from the sky hundreds of thousands of them and just smashing Isn't that nuts that hailstorms can come in July like that?

1:20:52 slight turn this way or that way. No, it's San Diego. Have you ever been to Hawaii? I went to Guam with Tripoli. is isn't it it's funny how there's like spots where things always happen and the big island 11,000 feet above sea level. completely different environments. you gotta be prepared to live the way they Beat your ass with a coconut, you know?

1:23:08 American Indians were there first. Yeah. many, many thousands of years before the established time of ancient Egypt. It's not the Earth that resets itself. some considerable damage but it's not enough to wipe out the race, right? Well, just this one that's a mile-wide crater And this is just one that lasted... all the saber-toothed tigers, and ended the Ice Age.

1:25:40 guessing we don't we're just guessing we're guessing about all these civilizations it's Shouldn't you be out getting mangoes and shit? people. They don't know African lips. Very African-looking. like, okay, we're in a real perplexing situation, we don't even know and that shit you know we don't we don't even know man it's all the whole idea of history the whole idea that there was all these people before us and they

1:28:50 Why? sphinx chamber and he's said that this is all water and this is all like thousands of years A bunch of different ages. They attribute things to certain people where they really should say, we think this could have been what happened. that actually reached that high Shit will blow your mind, man. He's very well-spoken. these theories of ancient civilizations,

1:31:31 What's ayahuasca? So now his latest work is that he's convinced that mankind has been helped throughout human That's it. It's hilarious, dude. I have. Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, and John Lajoie and myself usually go out together. sold out which is nice really really cool um and yeah people like the show and it's just nice for Very different, right? Because what Charlie Murphy did was he wasn't a stand-up comedian.

1:34:38 wasn't he didn't stumble he actually just pretty much told stories, and his personality on stage came across good. You could see it in the movie, that's good you know who's figuring it figuring it out tom green i saw him in the beginning and And there's a bunch of hookers here, too. So I was in this comedy competition. So you're not going to win this comedy competition

1:37:03 I like pickles or something like that. with the comics at some point, going Well, that's ridiculous. Get that fucking baby out of the room. My kid took a shit on someone's... They don't know. And then I'm like, you know how this is going to lead to disaster. It's not fair to them. At the beginning of the thing, I'm like, sorry, child. kid and i was, did you get laughs

1:39:30 while there's this kid right here. what the hell am I supposed to do? And just try to change everything. Right. about um the the iranian guy who's mad at someone for parking in a spot you remember that bit yeah you know i was you i got used to being in that place i got used to thinking that that was where and start doing the Melrose Improv, The darkness of it, the fact that it had been the same for like three, four, five decades.

1:42:06 No better hang. It feels weird that now I'm one of the older guys. Yeah. Have you ever seen Fritz Coleman do comedy? I see you coming here all the time. Hi. It's a win for everyone. It weeds itself out. he took a long ass time off in like 10 years You lose that timing. I'm not familiar with my material enough. Yeah, timing's off. I record myself all the time for two reasons.

1:45:31 When you're doing an hour and 20 minutes of material, it's like, again you just start editing stuff out and then you forget to put the shit back in you lose your train of thought. about how that place like if you go to the melrose improv someone's yelling out there's gonna be a me quiet then one of them threw i told him shut the fuck up then one of them threw something at

1:47:35 We were talking about Miserable. I think he's in Montana. I go up here with this guy, and we drive down together, and we ride. we pop in and he's like, she straightened herself If you're taking your report, you stand next to the fucking bed. Maybe he just wants... I won't make eye contact with him. an arm or a leg, but then it was just scrapes. A girl ran a light,

1:49:36 He's another one, man. to get it to heal but it won't heal what's best i mean months yeah what's best case scenario like He was fucked for a whole year. the handlebars that's the worst i i couldn't do it too scary but damn attractive i see them like oh look at that i love fucking jet skis balls when i'm on a jet ski never Don't you feel like when I did it in Hawaii.

1:51:48 And you're just an appetizer. I've got to swim over to this fucking bike and get back on it because otherwise i'm dead you're gonna get I think you meant step on jellyfish and shit like that. Dude, I've never been surfing, but I did go boogie boarding in Hawaii. because it's like they they don't know if it's a really big one if it's a great white it's really

1:53:10 like there was video footage I like wave pools. Dude, shark week is the closest The sea fucking Jack them and smash them. It just wants to eat. Rip them in half. He was showing it off? They'll take people that fell off Basically they're Didn't exist Imagine if someone to each other they'd be like shut the fuck up and pass the reefer. They're like, whoa, he's smart.

1:56:28 They should make a Bigfoot movie where Bigfoot's actually a chick, but she's really nice and hot. I think you've got some brilliant ideas, Brian. that little hair tent Bastards. Trigger Treat is this weekend, man. You know what I'm saying? Oh, it sucks when you don't get eight hours sleep. God damn it. you got something good yeah by the way what was the name name? Or what was? Oh, Dee Antwoord?

1:58:41 Play it on the way out. I've been finding that lately. Thanks to my pal Steve Renazzisi. A rare, rare event. They're going to sleep together in one room with two beds. Next week, I'm at Governor's. Governor's in Long Island. That's right. I best cities in the country. I can't wait. Steve Renazzisi, where are you at this week? Next week I'm at Governor's.

2:00:11 That's a real place. Friday and Saturday. Tonight. Halloween special. We'll see you guys next week, and see you in Austin. Stop But you don't want it.