Joe Rogan Experience #523 — Jim Norton Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience has had, what a week Anthony Cumia has had, what a week all the people online that love today's date is July Those things where you walk through. probably thought that he was perving, got mad at him. The Opie and Anthony show both have kind of fuck-you money. taking legitimate New York photos. talked to him and he said that she just said something like, you know, this white boy's

3:18 So he's putting his hand up, And I knew it was bad the next morning when I saw it because my ex-girlfriend called me, There was one that I texted him about. And there's one thing about hearing it it's like you have people there's inflection is still like an hour flow of things, like, I know Anthony. people who don't know him are reading this going what does he mean he's saying that there's violence

6:08 and didn't give a fuck she still wanted to sink him so something like this is bound to tend to not understand the context anymore. We admit that we understand the context and we go after people anyway. The big key to what you said, that it could sink you. Everybody has that now. and you would have no middleman. I'll tell you what the difference is.

8:10 their decision but it's not the decision of a company right and when things get you know companies and Jim who runs it. because the woman wrote things that was just She acted like these guys had read his Twitter feed and not like it. But the company, these guys just get all all of a sudden, they're home, That's my opinion, because they knew a holiday weekend was coming,

10:27 corner you into giving frustrating thing when I saw what the press did with it. To pretend that there's not issues with the amount of black people that are in jail, the percentage of the population. Institutionalized. Did he do it the right way? He probably shouldn't have done it on Twitter. Because Anthony is so good at clarifying. A genius at it.

13:27 because Anthony would listen to him and they would go back and behind him. almost like sealing off And I know that that's just all his friends defending him. Those are two things and you know a big part of it that drove me fucking crazy is And he's like, what the fuck? I don't know if he was saying something that was infuriating. but I'm a panicky Pete.

16:24 He handled himself absolutely right and lost his cool once he got home. So they were just using that as a reason to kind of ignore the fact that he got hit. And as they're writing a piece, they are also trying to placate all the people that are going to be up in arms about their opinions. And this is one of them. Knee-jerk reaction to them. And this is one of them.

18:41 to jail for something. I didn't know what. Legally, I have no ground to stand on, but I kind of thought he was a cunt. And I'm sure they've done it plenty of times to vilify blacks. The news has such a different level on top of this. Like, here's a perfect example. If Big John McCarthy saw that kid walking in the neighborhood, off the ground because he's physically incompetent.

20:35 You can't do that. What did you say? There's even a worse one. something like that said look stop it but yeah these videos are getting more popular my point is And I think that's what we don't know about the Anthony situation. the intent doesn't matter. It's the words, the words. And it was like, again, I know you're on the spot in that moment and I'm not

23:16 with the Tracy Morgan situation, I'm going to stab my son because he's gay as a statement of fact or at the end of a political rally. People find soft targets and those targets, look, they're all ganging up on Anthony, too. That's just soft targets. People find soft targets and those targets, look, if You have the option to respond Well, Louis C.K. actually raised a really good point about that.

25:09 But when the company's getting calls if it was on the air, reacted very quickly. It was the virus channel, remember? Now it's because I'm not. If they call it But it is a horrible, and it's like people get mad at me in Opie, to clear this up on the air, like if we just walk out you know who doesn't think we're fucking Anthony? anthony he knows we're not fucking only an idiot thinks

27:41 it because I want him to succeed because he's one of my closest friends. People don't know if you've never seen. on Sirius. It's just more advertising, more people paying attention, more entertainment. going to see you in concert and guess what that's all your money when you can set that up and have the music industry was not prepared But had it not, because I think iTunes was born of the idea of Napster falling through.

30:19 You can't sing also with the windows down to I found out recently. It's a lot of N-words. Yes, it really is. and they're not just going to – people are still going to steal them. One click on iTunes. People that are downloading illegal pirating of the UFCs, they're getting sued. Oh, okay, that's how it happens. Oh, okay. But I do that because you want to protect yourself even from a – what's the word?

32:57 Tourette's? Yes. So then everybody put up a flashing logo. Like, it course but then he messaged me he's like seriously if my wife sees For whatever reason, now have that to warn you so you've been pre-warned fucking weird and by the way everything when they sue the company the company's like what what the fuck? We got to pay to defend this because you couldn't keep your hands off her?

35:12 and going, hey, I'm kidding. Could you imagine being a chick in an office I'm so glad I'm not a chick. He's resting. Yeah. You start dancing and shit and a little nuttiness. I cleaned the dash. I don't fucking look at their asses in the hallway. I don't fucking look at their asses in the hallway aspect of uh this crazy litigious society that we live in is patent trolls that's the thing that

38:21 but they're still going forward with it. why I think that a lot of these people set up offices in that part of Texas. He's the guy who runs Adam's show over there. deficit of $20,000. Personal audio has shown no signs of backing down from their litigation Unbelievable. It's incredible. way they've got it set up to help. They have a podcast legal defense fund, Amazon account.

41:32 it's essentially releasing things in a serialized form like a form one two three and four on the Although they may not get a... You may not be able to Do you know what I mean? And everyone who podcasts a shitload of money suing Apple. Don't worry about it, man. So if they want to like help out by using a package. No. which I've been trying to keep as separate as possible from, you know.

44:02 We got flasks. and fart on it all day and pour it into your coffee. And you're like, yeah, Dice, you had something to do with that. And I ordered one from Roots and then I contacted Roots and I had them design mine with the Hire Primate logo on it. because you're wearing a fanny pack ugh, what am I doing? It was like, hey, why am one of your carry-ons either when you have it around your waist.

45:51 Not true. and I put it in my bag. You have to have your bag She was cunty. The one time only for this one chick that just decided. Because a lot of times the ones on the – you had Continental, you had Continental Express, United, United Express. are fucking worse It was always those little some of the equipment. to be a flight attendant. Sure. That's a bag.

48:07 and just rode it into the ground, didn't let it go, He opened up the thing, and there was no space in there. He puts it in there, and he goes, there's no room for other people. He goes,. One guy's got two bags. He puts it in there and he goes, you have a drink. She brought out the You know how there's some people that if they get in an argument about something,

49:50 Either that or she was on a flight once where two drunks began arguing and the flight got diverted. It was the way she talked to them. But you can never say that anymore, ever again. knives and pool cues but then they changed it because uh what happened someone did something because of this guy and then say to somebody, especially if you rub the bottom of it

51:42 It should. And we've seen so much more in the last 20-something years because there's no more smoking on planes. We were going to Dallas and say there was an hour delay oh I guarantee some of the fake cigarettes they smelled like vanilla bark Well, you know, the thing I'm reading about those is they don't know if that shit's safe. It's also you're making someone breathe your smell.

53:20 Women don't know how to wear perfume right. I was in a restaurant recently and some guy had one of those big ass vapor pipes. and I was like, we're sitting here in this guy's smoke. When you blow those out, it's like it's up and it's gone in seconds. It's smoke. Those, you know, It tasted like pepper and then he'll tuck one up under his gut. Or fucking you know,

55:14 You know, more so than he is on stage. I think Pete Rose said to Voss, he goes, Yeah. how no one's going to sit in Anthony's seat. He'll make fun of anything. He's got a few. Wow. It's painful. Nobody has a better sense of humor about each other as a couple. My wife, they're so Our show business stinks. I don't know why they haven't.'re funny in the meetings. I don't know

58:00 had a show for a while. Remember that? I do not. That would have did it. comedians are not You know, like, in the moment. This is how dumb we are as comedians. But of course, like a douche, I referenced the camera guy. Every reality show has these fixed scenarios, Open the door. one of his clients, Sharon said there was no take Jim Norton. I wake up,

1:00:34 Here's the real show. Well, what's entertaining about finding me getting blowjobs? I'm drinking this. Any type of milk product, I really wanted to do this with Massage Girls because I fucking, like, I'm drinking this, like, So you'll see me on there But how long would that be interesting? Colin Quinn a long time ago reminded me, outside of Dangerfield,

1:02:16 Wow. Her name is Ruth. Hello. And it was Yeah Like it's Manchester United. This was before I was like every day. And I'm like, I never forgot that. I probably should have eaten her pussy on the air could be a very funny clip on radio shows. you want to do this he's like i gotta do whatever they tell me to do i go really it was like so you know you're lucky you can have fucking a bottle of water in the studio now because they all panic yeah you're letting some guy collapse your fucking

1:06:02 yeah and the uh what what but that to me like says, hey, Matt Hughes choked me. No, it was obvious. brutal Russian, yeah. before Silva kicked me. in my thigh Wow. Look at how fat I am. I almost fainted because it was like do that shit He just Yeah I couldn't believe I reacted that way Like my system was like You know that light headed Tingly feeling you get to do any type of real damage. It was just where it was.

1:09:59 Yes, it certainly is. Those fucking Jose Aldos or Barbosa. Those guys that, like, you know, those leg kickers, man. Those fucking Jose Aldos don't feel it as much because of the adrenaline as it was healing. It was just because he was going so gently. Yeah. So you don't even have to get hit in the head to get a concussion. am only alive and not fucked

1:12:33 And, like, you try not to start confrontations with people for no reason. Yeah. Very illegal. and some guy in the front row was heckling him and showing him his gun. going with my jokes is Pips even around anymore I did it when the Schultz's I did a few spots there all those guys from Pips Still going strong? it reminds me of the comedy store. And you knew where to park.

1:14:56 And you did a lot of sets. I did a set and Willie Tyler and he's doing some song, Oh, it was horrible. And he was standing on stage, and all his friends Well, it's very much like the Comedy Store in that way. He was a Scottish guy who was about 5'8 wide and 5'8 tall. I forget what it was. He just completely went limp. Don't know, actually. I heard that. I never got to know him and I kind of wish I did.

1:17:59 You go up there, you tricked him again, Rogan. I would go there looking forward to seeing him. Catch? When I got on stage, I realized they were just people. are smarter. on a Saturday. Thank God I was killing. is there anything better than calling someone a cunt because I'm more creative when I do that But it is good to see yourself too. there's too many inexplicable

1:21:07 naked photographs that they got through Look what Bobby found, you know? I don't know. that's what we deserve. and it made me so happy when that shit happened Yeah, I mean, it's literally everything that Alex Jones has been saying for years. This is an online publication led by Glenn Greenwald, the journalist, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1:23:06 website, Gateway, which will artificially increase traffic to a website, Slipstream, Did you ever have Mike Baker on your podcast? He goes, I know it's not popular to say that there's a bad guy, but there is. A lot of it is stuff that we'll never find out about. And there's very little oversight. But Mike's a really logical, you'd love him. to do it they're going to continue and if they catch him they're going to lock him in jail

1:26:10 I don't want the government having that ability. things in my private life, too. And what he He's like, I mean, that is what he said when he He's not saying you don't associate with those people And even if he was being a creepy racist, illegally obtained information. him. NBA just reacted. But this is like how dirty it gets the NS, We only care about it when it's ourselves.

1:29:27 Have you ever heard what sociologists say about that when it comes to gossip and things along those lines? what was accepted in our community. He doesn't live building. He's in my apartment building speak, Obama's in my building in New York doing a fundraiser. He doesn't live there. But I don't know. I don't think so. Him and Michio Kaku together. Oh, Michio Kaku. Fucking. Who I saw the other day, though. It'd be kind of fun. Just to be in the elevator with him? I don't think so.

1:30:58 He's a genius, but he's a fucking weird dude. people say hello to you? Like, you know, Dr. Kaku breaks it down like, you know, and if you look at it like everyone is a lemon drop. Dr. Steve is my favorite. yeah, but he doesn't like the way Dr. Steve will, On TV Than when people You were so funny oh, Christ, I'm sad. It's online. Wallpaper shirt. Like, I wonder if other performers

1:33:40 where I had like 20 minutes of material Like those – whatever they were with the Velcro front. and Voss were the guys Did you ever see Voss? His old headshot? We were all terrible then, though. When I was 21, who the fuck am I to be talking? I want to smash my face when I watch that. when she was in her early 30s. I remember where we worked. He's gapping them.

1:36:50 Voss was the fucking team player of all time. He gets shit on a lot, buddy. In Lake Opecon, New Jersey. but I remember that line for some reason from your act. This is why I have to fly aisle. He goes And let that fucking behemoth Did you drink a lot of water? How do you not just jump up and piss every two minutes? Yeah. in those taurine or whatever the fuck the caffeinated aspect of them i've always had good

1:39:33 espresso mixed together. And they have different We have Kill Tony. But it's all sold out, bitches. You worked at Salt Lake City, right? And Mormons are nice. Not while she was getting it. You say it like it was sadness. That's my only question I want to know. That's cool. re... you know... I guess, have relaxed and she shit on him while they were sleeping and she shit the bed

1:42:16 And, you know, What happened? Yeah, a solid one. Don't ask me how I know this. Winner, winner, shit dinner. She was just eating logs that were coming out of this guy's ass. She never gets sick, and she fills herself up with shit. She has a website eating shit. Well, the funny thing is too, that like when you think like the fact that she smokes on top of it, like if there's anything that can make your breath worse than fucking eating some fucking, some Nazis logs, fucking having a cigarette afterwards.

1:44:56 Thinking about this Yeah, shit is probably not good coming out. Yeah, the animal fucking stuff? Then we were standing in front of this VCR, this TV with a VCR attached to it, Yeah, it's got to jade. a gun was, you didn't know what a school shooting was, if it didn't exist, it wasn't on the table, Because you can give a lot of people guns and they would never do anything wrong.

1:48:01 I know some people get mad at me. That's how I know somebody's on Adderall is when you look at Well, being wide-eyed, being accelerated, being on amphetamines. and all these things that don't have a long history of, or are coming off of antidepressants suffering withdrawal of antidepressants at what point in Nothing bothered her. But my parents, I think, said no.

1:50:21 Yeah, but that's how you make a comedian. She's always saying really funny shit. You're always trying to make people laugh. Send her to Kill Tony. I'll put her up. You like doing drugs. Well, they probably consider that part of the arts, the drama. but they didn't want me to do comedy. You're gonna be a loser Yeah That's gotta be You can feel it. You're not trying to do the best show as much as you're trying to get

1:53:25 because of the butter. where they talk for three hours. can I, yeah, and go plug whore the 23rd and then interviewing And did you do it in front of an audience? so uh the camera angles where they had that it was hard for us to edit anything because very frustrating for a comedian well shane sm Smith is one of my favorite people ever. where they've taken all these monkeys and apes that they experimented with and shot up with diseases and AIDS and all this

1:55:55 You want to go out and get blown? Dude, he's the one that interviewed fucking General Butt Naked. Let's go to the Ukraine. Fuck you. Let's go to North Korea. Not happening. He's not going to stop doing it. And we've done podcasts together. Thank you You know, it's hard Did another promo with fucking with Tyson and then and of course Dana's in it and I'm like that when I felt more secure with

1:58:14 The reviews have been mixed. I was really genuinely I mean, he's like, And it's like, And it's like, you know how you're married to your stuffed man It's hard, too, when you're going over your material, and I loved all of it because it was honest and funny and free-flowing. And some of it was just literally we were throwing to, we had to do a couple of throws.

2:00:07 but I got so fucking territorial that are on the internet how they did videos because it was my I've watched a million of them is the right way do it organically have a conversation and then have all the throws and That may have been. And they were, like, things don't normally go or maybe done it in post. do what i want without fucking with me that i might have you know made a couple of like oh yeah

2:02:46 And that kind of felt like a much different one But do you love the gig the same I want to have my own thing too I love doing it with Opie. know Anthony's a comic gene. That's easy to say. But it's like the little moments, like Anything he can be. I lose people immediately. people locked in. Did you guys have a meeting They didn't say, don't badmouth the company, don't.

2:05:50 But I'm just being truthful. You know, every time I did it, I loved it. And I listen to part one and two two because the point is not me laughing. He became the guy who had shot himself in the fucking head and survived. but I mean that's how Because that's what it is. this is the only real option where you're your own producer your own director your own

2:08:39 they would review it afterwards, talking about shit and piss and shitting in each other's mouths You're absolutely right. ooh, you could get in trouble And this is what And it wasn't going to hurt the merger. The guy, Nate, I think, why? reactor to things what exactly are they selling what they're selling is content who delivers that content The last thing you have is original talk content.

2:12:29 radio stations nowadays you just put Spotify put anything you want in as a you know yeah I mean I just saying them in a text message that they're so ignorant that they can't recognize that this is you're taking Oh, that would have been fun. because they haven't said to me, we'll bring him back. And maybe that's just this naive dummy in me, he definitely can come back.

2:14:35 entertainment aspect of that guy the entertainment possibilities of keeping the show together it's We've already got it lined up. A big advertising push. We're available online as an MP3. we're up in October 4th and just performing Do the show as a video online. And that's a guy that you know shit could get really crazy, They fucking got in my ear and fuck.

2:17:13 The monologues are just fucking exactly what I wanted to do monologue-wise. I'll tweet it when it's coming out with how it came out. There's a lot of really funny lines. Oh, okay. I would fix this and fix Like that promo, I was out in the parking lot with my was such a big piece of his been wrong. Look, I laughed hard. I'd never seen Rogan makes me feel lazy.

2:19:40 plates spinning, but being and I get a massage exactly Twitter, whether it's the articles I read, documentaries I watch, martial arts I do, When I was doing Fear Factor, no woe is me. So in that way, I figured out a way to harmoniously manage my life. This is just because you care. It was just a very slow interview and they left it in and they didn't fuck with it.

2:22:36 Great moments, slow moments, thing that you're like fuck man that was a bad episode will be the other person didn't talk one of my favorite ones was that skeptic guy, Brian Dunning, But sometimes you'll have a podcast, and the guy's just not interesting and i just want to ask like even if you ask good questions you're like fuck i had there was that one and

2:24:50 and a very interesting dude and really earnestly working So we had to just fix a couple of camera angles and there's a couple of moments where Rick's talking But I saw in that moment that face. You can't be Mr. Nice Guy. I should have asked him that. Because the loss of material stuff is already out the window anyway. And that's what got him released.

2:27:34 Yeah, and what do I do from here? MC Hammer whereas Rick Ross let's google him I don't know I mean what would you do if you were a guy like mc hammer and all He was managing like that. Well, wasn't it even crazier than that? so now the shelves are not there they're being re-repaired um you know and it's like you just realize that they give you an estimate it always goes more it

2:30:02 ball figure, and then we were past that lowball figure quick, And they started talking about, look, you know, we'll sell it. I'll buy this car. I was like, you guys are cunts. Like, the fuck you will. because it was the car was getting a tremendous amount of attention it was No. Do you not see that you think that you're the famous person? They say, you know, we'll build a car for you, Jimmy.

2:32:42 but some of it is like a hee-hee, ha-ha, we gotcha. Excellent example, by the way. Tranny, rear end, transmission. On vice.com, Wednesday the 23rd it comes out, and of course I'll be tweeting about it in Wonderful place to visit if you want to get jerked off. Thank you. I would love to be one of your guests. We can't allow it. Thanks for our sponsors.

2:34:53 I'm going to eat it tonight. A lot of more show.