Joe Rogan Experience #53 — Freddy Lockhart Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're recording to Server. revealed bring on the glory decide with these mystery hooks we'll keep reading about our story Old school comedy road dog. Yeah. What up, Joe? My friend from many, many, many, many, many, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Old school comedy road dog. That's one of the they're not there because they want to be comedians. Oh! No. and if you click the link and enter in the codename Rogan,

2:25 It's blue. I've always wondered. You just warm that up. The thing about Joey is Joey's the best. But it hit the fan every now and then. Yeah, for like months. Yeah, so he's going. I get to show my balls. Oh, yeah. What the fuck would they care if he loses 100 pounds? Yeah. Yeah, he's like, a fucking slice of pizza and a Coke. How many points is that?

5:25 Especially not doing the lap band or the castric podcast. He goes, Ralphie Mays had that fucking thing. He manned up and he fucking lost the weight. constant need for food for me I can get with beating off of a flaw is that shit what a goofy ass flaw it sucks too it's at least mine it's not the food You're getting in a wrestling match right here with the devil.

7:07 I was literally dreaming it starts coming up, right? like 10 hours a day i would go outside and forget i can't jump on top of buildings like i was just until you're eight years old for murder or something like that. And one seven, eight-year-old boy. Yeah, it's just they are. a dog. Give him a ball and make him go chase it. hard enough to really break you.

9:40 at the red light. It's all like, whatever. It's hard as hell. They didn't care. those guys, And they knew. Absolutely. who agree to it when guys get caught. Oh, I fucked up. With chimps, chimps don't hang out that much. They just decide who's in their team, and that's it. this person's fat oh god this person sucks that's so stupid i'm like are you gonna be sitting there

12:27 like i'm not that mean yeah there's a bunch of dudes who just like to get douchey with dudes He's a fucking comic. But that's it for right now okay wow what an it's like, why get in and do You got the lisp and everything. Do you remember this guy? And I would call him every time he would pick up the phone. That's how I would brush up on the impression is if I could fool Kenny Tenney, I felt like it was golden.

15:14 That'll reveal half the impression. It's my biggest obsession. Do you know the whole story? but I'm going to bring it up again, I know exactly. he's a black guy? No, his father died. They were into baseball together, him and his old man. Right now, we can't develop the kind of power that's necessary to do it, but that's some trippy shit. And that's when I kind of got into time travel, and I thought, you know, you could future time travel, just manipulation of time.

17:50 So I was new to that, but I got really excited when I read his article is like, doesn't time, once it's exposed, that option into before your father People say, break everything. And that we are not just living in one dimension. as you do this correctly, Western science has come along and started to pick up They had hearing aids back then. fucking phone working?

20:33 It would have been more realistic It was like, you know, If you could go to the 80s and whip out your iPhone, you'd get arrested for witchcraft, dude. We're closer to kids who grew up in the 1940s. You know? People are, kids are filthy today. have you you've all seen this where the the the funnel with the putting the eels in the woman and then it starts shooting

22:53 Salmons are big. It could be anything. we'd get a Debbie Does Dallas tape. iphones don't use flash yeah so all these porn sites are switching to html5 and that's you can and I'm going to go Can you imagine smart fucking kids, though. because I thought maybe they knew something. and then uh immediately thought it was horse shit because the first grade was so horrible

26:03 And I grew up in that Catholic, hey, you're not in the Lord's name in vain. Because my aunt didn't worry about them fucking her because they were gay. Loves the butt. They'd just lie around smoking weed. This is the craziest fucking 180 ever. The East Coast thing is where It's good that it's more relaxed than that. Yeah. with Lehman Marcus and the fuck.

28:03 It's like, yeah, there's definitely a reason with dealing with weather. for the winter. And a lot of those people if they weren't there 200 years ago they were in another country okay and Right. Goddamn it. You're just hoping to float it out? People were dying. To have an established roads and shit. Yeah, exactly. Everybody landed on the east, pretty much.

30:40 You're lucky. You're just in a lucky spot. of almost puts us in a trance. Where on the West Coast, it would come to blows. Yeah, they walk. you feel disconnected from all the people that you're around you're not touching them you're not between the two gaps. are places where there aren't any. I've ever met, Jeff, the piano guy? Why would you care if it had nothing to do with you?

32:44 Being short. Yeah. You know, having a physical animality. Sure. Like being short. Right. Right. and I think they're very scared. to do shit that's wrong. no matter what. But they might be so crazy and stupid I've met so many. It's definitely there, but some Or this Eddie Long character that's been banging kids. two people that are Oh yeah, games yeah that's that's where it's getting it's getting kind of ridiculous it's like you still

35:46 It's like, are you kidding me? So brilliant. he would have said, I'll go on. Just poke my You're like, how is this for me? his hearing holla oh that's what what the how the fuck does that work i'll alex jones explained the I can't hear, but I'm going to continue to use it because I like getting high. dumb, dumb, you know, I'm a this democracy you think

37:57 that position pussies. That's the problem. People should be able to get married. You look like a rapper I totally am in favor of big business. If Halliburton was a dude They would arrest that guy. Where did Wyoming go? and you can't use the seeds. You're breaking the law. The most evil corporation bought the second most evil corporation. Dude, it's all about how what they figured out was if you could get patents on plants,

41:41 It's like their food. but I was like, corn-fed, and now there's like five. Because it's like nothing's regionalized anymore. That's another fucked up thing about people, the disconnect between the meat and your food, and that's like there's there's a disconnect there that can never be healthy yeah you can never be with the earth. and all these different stories

43:52 That's one of the all over the place. they never had been and they never heard a gun yeah you know they didn't know to be afraid of man because they never had been and they never heard a gun. Yeah. They didn't know to scatter when they heard that gun. We talk about an alien invasion, man. We are the world. Dolphins can't really move anything around.

45:25 extinct and then we bring a thing or two back like the california condo again but it was like who A big one. I mean, I don't know how much they actually weigh, but it looks like if it was a dog, The motherfucker was, he had to be almost three feet tall. You've got to think like the first person to see. are the ones with the loose screws yeah they start clapping you know out of control they're like gangs but the the gorilla

47:48 It doesn't make any sense. He's got extraordinary work ethic, extraordinary abilities. He only does prison work. Your muscles would continue to eat themselves. That's what you're saying to me. I've heard a conversation amongst six guys, and they were all saying, there's no fucking Some guys go vegan. outworks them I mean how do you get your protein

50:02 it's spelled like You've got to be really careful with your protein. Right, with the DJ. So I'm not doing 100% vegan, but I have noticed since I've been eating it, I still throw in steak and stuff like that here and there. So I'm not doing 100% vegan. You still do Weight Watchers? Quinoa, yeah. But whey protein really is better. Gotta drink water, son.

52:17 Oh, you got coconut water CO2. Is this thing still on? It's like the best for you I just started. Vegetarianism does not equal gay. There's a lot of characters like that, with kids. Are you battling impressions? He's this local guy But he's on PBS. there's a star heel hauser because you feel like you're the only one on earth watching his show I don't know they're doing that.

55:26 I have a meeting with Oliver Stone. You take a Hasselhoff or somebody. You have to be able to distance yourself slightly from people. He was killer on the Twilight Zone. He's on the greatest Twilight Zone A porn star prostitute. This is a story that Radar Online was saying. I'm almost looking at this guy almost like, he's untouchable. there was something to do with like Mexican gangs and those guys.

57:31 like Omar from The Wire The other guy from the show. There's probably crazy gang- and it gets the best ratings ever. It's kind of, you know, I watch it because every girl I date for some reason likes that show. And it's, you know, it's just fucking, it's a sitcom, you know? how hard it is to go from being a comedian Did you have a shitty one, man? definitely didn't,

59:27 It wasn't huge. Yeah, we got moved like crazy. And those shows would be huge. And so the last season we did with Lovitz. And then this guy, the Lovitz character, gets introduced. to Quake because they had of the ratings and he came in what i'm saying is just look i i people would always bitch people on the set would be like this is fucking bullshit

1:02:30 Well, the actors, yes. Me, I was in a sitcom almost per chance. My character. So I didn't really take Ray's part. either and then i just got lucky i just came in had you taken a bunch of acting classes? No, I'd been on a shitty show, though. these guys named Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran, You might have seen him. to be the producers of the show because they didn't think they knew how to run a show.

1:04:27 and come back with the worst scripts of all time. on the set was so bad yeah that they ready to go. And then, all of a sudden, And then a week later, I'm in Hollywood. done with that, do this, done with that. I stop and think about how much money would I have to and you become the elite of your company. Yeah, I'm like, he kind of should be. It's all about recognizing

1:06:57 Yeah, which he always means stop looking back at your progress state? These certain seeds don't grow in certain regions. You know what I mean? he did like i think he's i think it's the legend is up there with like paul bunyan pretty much Yeah, like life is too fucking hard. And sickness, too. to try that shit crazy life there was a there was a thing they did on uh national geographic

1:09:35 And they quickly adapted to that. will go further and you can transport a stew because that's the thing too you got to bring What's the show called again? But this guy lives in like northeastern Alaska. And he lives his life just hunting and gathering, I don't know what happens there. What is that? That was a pipe. where the whole walls are yeah i've heard tale of those before i was cool to actually see one

1:12:40 Yeah. Movies are always good. They don't Is it out? He's already like that. When Stripes was coming out, man, Bill Murray was like, anything he could say was funny. I was like, I'll check him out. To the point where I can respect it and be like, oh, wow. Besides me. mannerism and see it that this is a character but god damn it is this character always you know being attended to it's like

1:14:50 It's like we go places, and he gets mobbed. Yeah, in Hermosa Beach. comedian. Off and on. and then, Sometimes he's just well two kids that ripped him off one kid ripped him off during a commencement speech or some sort of a graduation speech right how can out there, man. I remember one time I was at this club I go, what happened? What are you talking about, man?

1:17:31 Don't you think they document I was partying with him in Vegas. He brought it to Jiu Jitsu We should be getting a cut from this. I just realized You just let it filter in and come out of you. It means I've matched it. And I started working on the impression when I was in the eighth grade. And he was doing a Morgan Freeman impression. I'd be like, I'd like to get a table for two, please.

1:19:57 but it's – Right. I mean, I can tell you can talk like that. Yes. Definitely. You know, you can contort your mouth like Biggie Smalls. Jeff Rogan. Jeff Rogan If you're listening About him getting caught Don't you know anybody there? And it probably grows well. How's it looking? I don't think it's going to pass. i don't know man i think it's evolution i understand their position i feel bad for

1:22:16 and there's more doctors. How does that benefit that doctor I mean, everybody knows it should be. commit political suicide this year and and come out that's what we need was somebody huge the understand me. He talked about it openly when he was campaigning. It's a figure. They'd get together and be like, it's our country. It's not below everyone's ears.

1:24:35 This coconut water is delicious. I think I have a problem with my in-house So who the fuck do you think runs it? A bunch of smoky industrialists? skull and bones from college i mean it was it was John Kerry. It was Bush. It didn't just occur to you someday. I am a veteran. and make everybody think that mediocre is good Dude, you know when my opinion of him changed?

1:27:17 And I never thought that of him. What the fuck? No shit. Really? Go for the Christians. the Moonies are doing this. a big part of our platform. It's like, oh, reagan as far as the eyes can see which is understandable but i'm just like don't you ever given to people. I mean, he was making a point, clearly, that we would be united as one country. want to mention any names, in some douchebag countries, I'm like, listen, just come with

1:29:59 We'll show you where they are. and just the massive changes happening in this country. you know there's there's the craziest theory about your life is that your life really what it actually Wow. It's all an illusion, and it's all something that's been created by your imagination. And as it plays out, as it becomes more and more ridiculous and catastrophic,

1:31:27 It's all crazy. at the silly shit through that, it doesn't affect you, like But it's like everybody's biggest fear is death It's the same kind of effect that the DMTs release during dream state. and I'm just going to trust that the world doesn't fall apart at the seams and explode while I'm unconscious. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, you heard the tape? And Werner Herzog, the director, listens to it on camera.

1:33:50 It was so nasty. Suddenly there was a threat to this world from some other species from another planet outside in the universe this world. It's hard to think that a mass collectiveness of fight or flight would happen. do you think it always fucks with whatever's weaker than it? but what if we can get to where they're at um well we can't we're getting closer we are getting

1:35:54 But, you know, you have to prove to me that you can survive in deep space for a long period fuck man that's some that's some deep shit like if they really a hundred years in a spaceship and and if you can't get there in a hundred years, you're fucked. You'd have to use nuclear power. Everybody was a mutant from all the radiation Well, maybe we're all both.

1:37:40 You made it all up. and because I saw a movie where a guy that Steven because he did it they could do it at will you know in it it's like you you start to realize how fascinating your brain is because you'll Some are different. But I know that the best time to have them, And I've only had a few, talking about before just the knock on the door yeah the guy said knock on the door in real life

1:40:06 and I just started flying. How am I doing? You're just like, oh my God. But it's like, That's what you've got to look into. and the more you get good at it, the deeper you can go, Studio city. So just try it. You don't see anything. His stuff is real high-tech, top-of-the-line stuff. Which the cool thing is, because the body, if you're not physically there, it's still a real experience.

1:42:25 any idea and and manifest and visualize these ideas right you know your imagination when it's and keep people healthy and put it in a pill. You know, like the Wright brothers, you know, they were working on it was the same thing there was a bunch of people that figured out the radio it was marconi it was And you look at his stuff Machines, all kinds of machines.

1:44:56 and your neighbor's just some retard just like what sayeth you sir yeah he's fucking his sheep Yes, there will be, but there hasn't been. They were a month in. It's not right? Some kind of wonderful and then bit parts here and there. He was a good actor. He's got the heat suit on that are banned now. God damn, that bitch is pretty. that was Diane Lane.

1:47:05 I'm still looking. She was. caught him with his and had some kids. Yeah? I thought, Linda Fiorentina? What about Laura Flynn Boyle? Kenya Just like a regular Sure Who's on a ride Good old decent What has been the weirdest thing about coming here and starting out, working for the comedy store and doing all that shit, because it's one of these things where it's like, you know,

1:49:42 owe anybody anything. Not a damn or be in movies. You know what the local I forget what it's called. What happened to the scene there? That's what I've heard before. I mean, when you're making several thousand dollars a week doing comedy in Boston, which are your best jokes. They don't want to talk about it. Where everybody was going, stealing Hicks material.

1:52:28 It's really sad. and reworked it. just to survive. that are doing well Sure. There's all sorts of shit that people have parallel thinking. That dude's got to disconnect. I feel like I deprived you of something. At least you did it through comedy He has this thing for people who've made it through comedy It's like, handled through the community. Like,

1:54:48 everyone from comedy central knew he was stealing everybody that worked on the set on that show I remember that. Oh, it worked. It happens amongst comics. People without an internet connection and people And, you know, I mean, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with fast cars. There's people out there, man. Christ For these pussies to get by And they have kids.

1:57:09 there's a lot of people that are sensible that are barely keeping it together the stress of Well, you can vote too. We're moving in a direction, and no one has analyzed a party that's made for you. Isn't it amazing fishing. Bush would always be hunting and the famous thing where Dick Cheney shot his friend or the environment. They've managed to connect hunting and fishing. Bush would always be hunting

1:58:40 to fucking just crush to be dumb. an Ivy League school. No regular folks should not We just required him to be able to talk good in public He knows the trails. Wouldn't that be awesome? And there's like this shadow economy that's based on all that. That's how deep this fucking web. Like in Japan and China, their internet is just far superior to ours.

2:01:31 Fiber optics. Yeah, they got a Google TV. Those cable companies are big time. Is this the U-verse? Are you in the room with the server? Their shit would be like, So you would aim right in front of him with a rail gun. Because they became. deal with the non, and you become like, with the parameters of the game. And I would snipe people. And it's like I started living this life, and I would get thrills out of it.

2:04:26 everybody get in the helicopter. Oh, I was working on something over You go around exploring. i'm gonna embarrass you people i jack people i had no friends in liberty city You're a dick. Grab a car, listen to some tunes, go do drive-bys on people, provoke the police. You need to just play it for a month and you'll get used to it. Just always? It's not too big because otherwise your eyes

2:06:38 as far as aiming. Grand Theft Auto is not a fast Twitch game. of really high speed 3D action, I want a game where I can rocket jump. I like that shit on Grand Theft Auto, that Deathmatch. They're really experienced. Nobody would talk shit. You can mute yourself. of somebody when you fuck them up in a death match. Yeah, it's so good. No, the other one, EverQuest.

2:09:00 when I talk about people who are addicted to games. and shit. That's great. Yeah, he had People have let their kids starve I would play Grand Theft Auto probably like up to four hours a day, that's what i'm playing right now is that what you're playing you like that oh fuck yeah have but it's one of these games that, Why don't they do it with a mouse and keyboard?

2:11:06 Not just Quake. There's only and numbers. What is Quake? I've never played that. with the controller in mind, Yeah, but... Because it's more accurate. You're playing other people with controllers. They designed the game with the controller and accuracy of the controller's limitations in mind. No, no, no. The mouse guys always win. has nothing to do with the accuracy.

2:13:07 Like Quake, Counter-Strike, shit like that. Dude, I snipe. Oh, these guys move all the time. You go to the airport this dude figured out that the grenade, four they've all been out you don't want quake get kill zone two have you played that yet why I love warfare. I'm just saying that they've taken that game A lot of the Call of Duty. They all have boot camps.

2:15:18 I mean they still as good as a console or whatever so the console what they've done is they just kind of standardized PCs are. And you'd go one-on-one deathmatch against these guys and just get raped. yeah really like live yeah yeah you it's a it's a web-based program to quicklive.com and you can play for free. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And I'm on. Oh, I love it, man.

2:17:12 And this was like in the height of my quake addiction. I've played the Quakes all my life. poorly well see the thing is i don't like fair i don't like tasks i've never stolen a car and I love that shit. in a spray of red. and play for free? Because he likes Grand Theft Auto-type games. Well, in the deathmatch you do. If you watch and especially to me i'm like you i get the sniper right i get collect my weapons i just like collect

2:19:34 I like collecting my weapons and getting a grenade. So he's running around with his gay little pistol with only a certain amount of bullets. It's an old game. It's scary to me. Too scary. I don't want to It's part of it. I was in Iowa at the Pony Bone last week, I was like, oh, you guys are pretty fucking cool people here. that the teabaggers are starting to extract their message, which they're nothing about.

2:21:56 yourself a tea bagger too but you don't like black people right okay and you think obama should go this fuck voting right or wrong or fuck voting i'm voting with how i feel instead of voting that they always made him out to be kooks. That was the agenda. arizona what is the woman's name yeah jane brewer who uh she made up some crazy shit about her Well, what it was explained to me was

2:24:13 It was pretty cool in the 90s. nose and they're all gonna be talking and they're all going to be talking, and they're all going to be very excited, and there's going to be a lot of fist pumps That's so true because it's too hot during the day and they stay in the clubs all night. 120 at 2 a.m.? I don't know how I did it. You don't want to do anything.

2:25:44 It's not good. It's awesome in Malibu. It keeps the cool in when it needs to. Will you go looting at the first sign of anything going wrong? Yeah. That's some cool shit. It's something real bad will happen, pick up some fucking charcoal, come home, It's never been good. Exactly. Shut your mouth. Would you rather where are you at next? Where are you doing

2:28:17 Yeah, there certainly is. He's contacted me on Twitter. Yeah. he just believes some crazy shit you know there's characters up there that you'll never forget as long as you live. And they know they can go to the very back I saw him like last week. Yeah, he's nuts. He was a brilliant dude. weird how like if you look at comics in general there's a big part of these comics that uh you

2:31:04 with your desire to please people, with your desire to make yourself look... I mean, you have to figure out your ego with your imagination with your desire to please have you ever met anybody that's any good that isn't like that yeah or that had a great upbringing We might be different, 300 million plus people and out of them, It's a very exclusive group.

2:32:43 You're probably dead right about that because we only we live in comedy cities it's like you got any advice i go get the fuck out of iowa you know but it's not bad to start out in a Perfect size. do you want to do some comedy tonight? And he only did it like 10 times before that. Perfect size. Great owners, too. Great setup.. It's a fucking classic club. Perfect size.

2:34:38 You ever do that? They get excited when cool people come to town. They definitely have a kick-ass scene there. Are you ever going to come back to the store, you think? Moving on. The hackery. And dare I even say Eddie Griffin if he was in town. It was some dark, dark years, man. come up and be like, do you work here? I'd be like, no. It was just so bad.

2:37:02 there's Steve Byrne. Because Bobby gets real bent out of shape about that. I was laughing at that. Right, right. I remember when I started there, He was angry at everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the worst. choices, and he's a super ambitious I'm like, I was here 10 years ago Yeah, he's a comedian. No, not even remotely, not even close. tell me about your

2:39:51 disappointing thing with his life I'm like man deserve to have the microphone you're not even supposed to be on stage but if you want to do Carlos Mencia video and that was something you know, like that. Oh, he did that. Woo! That was like a week before the video. I will end your life with my bare hands I heard this on Marin's podcast. It was a personal thing.

2:42:02 And he did steal from me a bunch of times on the road. him that night. I can't believe I was there. But if you're a dickhead to me, I gonna be a bigger dick back yeah and with that guy it wasn't even a matter you wouldn't see how horrible it was. I knew when he was coming. It's amazing when you can okay that with yourself Right. it's all of us, too.

2:44:09 didn't have to happen it wasn't planned out it was just he he what he did is he played on my ego him just be had been formed by my own jealousy right so then i started naming bits and then as And then he sat down on the stool of berating him. repeat what other people say. You're a person speaking for like 10 minutes or something they should have the comedy shore should he has... They should have... The Comedy Shore should have...

2:46:15 And even if they wanted to keep me banned because I was filming there and they don't want me filming, that's fine. in direct I don't even want to mention his name because he's a good guy. Did you guys ever talk again? I ran into him. We were on a flight once and we wanted me to either apologize to him or they were going to have to let me go. Did you guys ever talk again?

2:47:33 No, that's what I meant. he's going to say to me Let me groom. Dude, thanks for having me, man. Cap City Comedy Club this weekend, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, find out what's up, Lay it down. but I'll be back next Tuesday. And we'll see you guys then, hopefully with Bobby Lee. and making sure the sound is in order. You can click that Later.