Joe Rogan Experience #54 — Eddie Bravo Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Smile on your face. Eddie Bravo, how dare you? Go to fleshlight.com. destruction you know is that what it's called yes yeah the one with uh christopher uh no christopher Eddie Bravo And Eventually, man. That's pretty important to music. That must be something new. I'm on that motherfucker like Joe on Twitter and shit. Just fine-tweaking the audio. The Unfortunate Brody Stevens Project. Call it that the unfortunate brody stevens project

3:41 like in the middle of an interview he just took off and Brody was just left there on the couch going, like he just got raped. you know like that anger fuck that shit They're both on the lease. here for two more months because i paid the rent and boy's like fuck it stay i it's like it's going We had broken up. Oh, yeah. Probably not. It's almost like an ego thing, really.

6:14 It was a disaster. We were just young and stupid. Like the guy might not be able to get laid for a couple weeks. It's just not the same place, man. jeans. You go out to a club, it's like, can you get it? we're going to give you drinks That's one place I never pick up chicks at though. the way I would make moves on a chick yeah is i would find the Do you still dance once in a while?

9:29 That's wake the fuck up. No, you that is that's an alarm call your business manager check on your funds like every day it goes off keep keep that shit um no i never read comic books man man. I wasn't into it. I wasn't just stepping. i'm just like kind of space out and think oh look a building i could jump on there i could see you it, go to bed. That's ridiculous.

11:53 we only let him have that video game on weekends. forget what they were but they weren't you know i think mike tyson's punch out i think we had that massive multiplayer out last night modern ops or whatever i don't know what the name of it is i just saw that it's in 3d and you watch it Isn't it weird It came out almost a year ago. But you stick around.

14:12 You can't download 3D. You can't download that shit. No, they're going to come right at the screen, and they're going to shoot to the girl's face, It's really going to be gay porn that takes off from 3D Remember Jaws 3D? But now it's not tricks. Yeah, and that's what it's going to be. I mean, it's got to. Bro, we lost one of the channels for the head.

16:03 You got a bad connection on the headsets. it's not nearly as good as a giant It was awesome for 3D. disease. After watching that show Like you you're the king of der der der. You're the guy. I mean, if you talk about anybody where They had this thing on 48 Hours with Jerry Corey. He had no idea what was going on. Lou Gehrig's disease is the same thing

18:56 it's scary because we see it all the time, man. on the line but you got to know when to stop. But then all of a sudden, he makes this fucking I mean, that's pretty goddamn impressive. they find because jiu-jitsu is fairly new what if they find out that you know if you get choked out I mean, where you're saying, A guy who's like, They just you know make it a romantic comedy

22:08 but there was a missile that was fired last night off of the coast of California, Yeah, on KROQ, I think. you know so it was kind of like half dark half light and they launched a rocket and you could They probably aim them to the water. Could you imagine if you got hit in the head by a fucking missile when you're fishing? I don't know. Joey Diaz lit the Alex Jones show on fire.

24:27 up with me and then uh joey's outside and we're just talking kind of like straight real conspiracy He let Joey know that Joey can just go off. Alex Jones is going, no, you didn't. No, he goes, it did happen, cocksucker. It rages. He gets red. So Joey finally, you know, Joey stands up. And the whole time he's screaming into the microphone to make it worse.

26:42 it's just Alex and then this big head blocking his view. I'm trying to describe it right. It's also one of the best cities in the country. where people are friendlier. That's one of the best ones. Austin, Texas is one when it tries to find the exit. is so strange. in another direction. Jessica Hall was here. Yeah, and it was like famous comics. Yeah, it felt like Ikea or something like that.

29:19 enlarge everything up high resolution The Atlanta Punchline, the green room is just covered with... I pee through it because I grew up with my mom and my sister Yeah, was that enough? There's a big difference between if I said, you know, Yeah, see. Unless I'm like at a public restroom, but my shit's consistent in the morning. the same temperature of your skin, and then it comes out with another laser that shoots

31:50 It's the same. Wow, you got cushion. your asshole the ones that are $500 are gonna miss your asshole That's the other thing. So you can get calls from there? It'll have like a jawbone. It'll have a second Is that okay? Unless it's your buddy. and I'm like, I have to poop too. Whoa. our house it's probably gonna be just nothing like fishing poles it's probably gonna be like

34:41 The whole thing about Nextel, they don't, the whole thing about Nextel, Nextel, What? You know, there's a funny story. Like, what is the deal with that? melanin content as this person i'm observing and even though you're not even doing the same things they're doing that's fucking ridiculous we're we're real close with racism in this country I'm talking about people looking to point the finger at racism

36:47 an answer no no one has an answer no but most people were saying they're attention whores you somebody that does that though i know somebody that only talks using the speakerphone function for some reason. Oh. Her parents are so ridiculous Do you really? Who was talking her ass off, There's a big difference between someone sitting there going, I'm thinking we're going to come down there.

38:44 a lot. Maybe it's a security thing Yeah, maybe that's, Because if it was, And they were saying hello, you know, they're meeting some dignitaries, and she shook his hand. They're losing their fucking marbles. Whoa, try saying this dude's name. sex of Islam. What the fuck, man? you get the whole package what would you what if she became president one day

41:01 That's the problem with this fucking Sarah Palin thing. There's all these faggots out there that think that she's good enough to be president because they want to fuck her. She's never going to become president. do. You're not retarded. made governor of Arizona paused. She went on a debate. She's debating Where's the autopsy reports? No, he didn't even. He's still alive.

43:10 She wants to keep all the Mexicans out of Arizona. And, you know, the shows are always fun there. Ladies and gentlemen, Eddie Bravo is Mexican. No. When dudes just tweet motivational shit that they've heard, Well, first of all, He's trying to get them to like him. Don't be too proud to pray. Probably something like that. That's something to me. once you get to a certain

45:43 I treat it like But what he thought, can you find that? But I'll tweet shit like that or science tweets. It's fascinating, fascinating fucking shit, man. It's like the other day I was watching Ancient Aliens. the shit they were saying but if you look at it this way if you're if you don't believe in ufos then fucking anything is possible. drew about it,

48:06 Well, the Mahabharata, that's a fascinating text, of psilocybin, mushrooms, you're going to see some shit.ic world you know and i know you're You know, there might be the whole world might be a fucking radio of a million different doesn't mean that... It seems too mechanical. You watch the testimonies. are our own government making shit. He said he saw the bodies.

51:42 It could have been some sort of a Soviet craft that crashed. closed down twice within a few months because there was some shit right over the airport. Exactly. He was hired for that Totally. is that the government If they really wanted people to believe in the UFOs, look up the disclosure project. like international groups. All of them could have been explained away But the 15%

54:35 That we haven't discovered yet That could be man-made. I've seen some weird shit of things moving They took notes. None of those motherfuckers. security, we're not getting involved. you don't know how many of them are full of shit, then yeah, we don't know what he said. Ministry of Defense saying, It means that 80 people were not So what are they going to say?

57:54 observers three went up to it and touched it they said they're saying it's out of this fucking world And then you add, you can make a decision. something that they saw. don't believe that's not true i believe not true that is not true you do not have to believe So you believe that Philip Corso was a crazy man and he was full of shit? How about that? Is that better?

1:00:17 It was he an idiot. I don't think so he seemed like an interesting guy. Did he see some shit? I don't know how much he saw it. It's a little different Well, we're talking about on their side. That they were going to release him things that you haven't seen yourself. many people who are full of shit. Too many people exaggerate. Whenever you involve commerce in a very strange discussion,

1:02:26 He makes fiction, There's no evidence. You're making it seem like I heard one testimony. unless it has been proven, which it clearly hasn't, it's clearly up for debate. Even though It's certainly possible that there's life on other planets. There's a lot of different possibilities, man. I'm fascinated with the testimony and I know that people are full of shit.

1:06:16 identified flying object you know you're not saying ufo you're saying aliens right yes well i'm not Okay. The idea seems so cool. and they came from Asia, It's an animal. bigfoot's just another big monkey if bigfoot was gigantopithecus it's just another big monkey. If Bigfoot was Gigantopithecus, it's just another They found Chinese bodies here from 10,000 years ago. But when people started moving here. Some of the people had already moved here. They found Chinese bodies here from 10,000 years ago.

1:09:00 who the fuck knows? Is there any compelling could be a bunch of other things It's probably mostly floating wood Bigfoot was born in the imagination of an American Indian that just wanted attention. that same story like bear costumes that they've recorded What's the worst conspiracy theory? Yeah, they believe the young Earth. You can't watch them for more than five minutes

1:11:34 than 10 000 years old they probably don't even know what that is they're just going to the bible Well, the Chupacabra, they've narrowed that down, too. a monster so that's most likely the origin of the chupacabra because you're talking about something Look at all these people staring out. That's pretty good. Do you think so, man? and you were more amazed that they had a gun while they were jogging.

1:13:41 Didn't they do that in Colorado when you lived there? I carried a gun every time I went hiking. It's so easy to shoot things. they just called me randomly like, It's a lot like no matter where you go, But at least you can shoot them and you're cool. You've got to get them with it, though. you know but the mountains were they actually Have you had these coconut waters?

1:15:59 You know what it tastes like? It tastes like you just ate a bowl of Froot Loops and it's the milk from the Froot Loops. he loves the kombucha but the uh coconut water he doesn't like but he uses it for uh pina coladas Fuck no. And these dudes would base jump off that bitch and skydive and fucking pull a parachute. too close to the screen, it stretched the image out,

1:18:08 this fucking dummy. This is the problem, man. it's most likely. You can't just speak. discovered by Jose Escamilla ten minutes. This guy's been trying to penniless and insane somewhere i wonder how many emails he gets by mistake like i heard you Yeah, he thinks there's fucking anomalies on the moon now. Even with the most recent Hubble photographs And he's like...

1:20:49 What he's showing is craters, and he believes that these craters are different alien artifacts. No, how was the first episode? moon in the middle of it that was kind of cool. And I guess it moves. He had Seth Rogen on last night. I was a real fan of the show. that desk it's not funny that you like having people on it isn't it better to do it like this

1:22:59 I think there's some security to the desk because it's been there forever. Why don't they just chill? Have some good quality behind it. Invite the 200 people via Skype. on a desk and the desk there's like there's there's cameras that come at him can you hear Like you have a stereo system. So it's almost like an audience. It's like a podcast. like it's like the news but, you know, mixed with humor. Right. So it's kind of more just like, like I. It's like the news but mixed with humor.

1:25:40 He has a lot of shit that he fucks around with. Do you know what happened? Okay. It's like the kids. that the world's going to fall apart. keep it complicated because the more complicated the less people vote and the more it's political When the polls are right. Yeah, all the time I do polls. Do you really? Yeah, or if somebody called you up and you talked to them. Yeah, yeah, all the time I do polls.

1:27:58 What I mean about a poll is like you go somewhere and it's a multiple page thing where it asks You make little videos and shit when you like a product. Is he done, though? Bobby Fischer? Yeah. He's the one from the way you would organize like chess practice so it's pretty fucking interesting you know that Well, I would really love to see just professional jiu-jitsu

1:30:24 or even you watch somebody get knocked out, at least part of It's because like, when you knock somebody out or you hurt somebody or even you watch the same again. cro-cop, but we always interview the winner and the loser. And he was up and they said, okay, it would be exciting because he'd be just catching people all the time. It should be in the Olympics right away.

1:32:08 and yanking on sleeves He's going to fuck him up. It just baffled me. At the Mundiales, they're sweeping, they're finishing off their back. man, it's a whole different game. This is making jiu-jitsu look bad. There's a lot of exciting matches with the Gi, my master, is bored with watching black belts play tug-of-war in the gi. The most important thing for me is how jiu-jitsu looks in MMA. And I feel that the gi is I did this for jujitsu. The most important thing for me is how jujitsu looks in MMA

1:35:12 Gi submissions, setting up everything We need to dominate MMA again. That's beautiful if you can do it, a guy that puts it on your back and you can't sweep him. I'm amazed that somebody hasn't stepped up He had Marcelo in there against Jake Shields. He had Marcelo in there against Jake Shields. but his plan was just to stay in the they really need is they need to get some sort of a network behind it. Someone willing to

1:37:59 on that. If you get it on ESPN, up some nogi jiu-jitsu up there for sure. Yeah, but it's on TV. You win that. and no one's really making that much money except for the top guys. I love poker. you had an ace and a king, like right before? Like right away, boom. Does the catcher give those signs or the pitcher give those signs? No, no, no, no. is getting two people to agree on what should be done.

1:41:10 If there's no, uh, you've, you've had that with music though, right? Remember he wanted to do all this and do all that. to like it because when you're on stage man what's most important you would rather play someone else's So what ends up happening is real quick, you end up everyone gravitating to the guy who's He co-wrote a song. I was a huge Kiss fan, but that was the first one that made it on the radio. Yeah, that was massive.. Beth was huge. It was like a ballad. It was the first one that ever, I was a huge Kiss fan,

1:42:50 I want to leave Kiss. We'll all make solo albums album, the guy who wanted to leave to make It's really, really, really bad. But then they finally took the makeup off. but when they Kid named Bobby. But he got this fucking tattoo of Ace Frehley tattooed. massive they did a couple and then the peter started fucking up and a started fucking up They never did that.

1:45:23 Maybe they tried when Peter left, out Kiss. They're fucking cool, man. They're just going to come up. Why couldn't they get it together? It's like jujitsu, man. and they could play Eric Singer, the non-makeup a reality show. Most of them. They're like storing So with the Kiss reality show, they're about to do a show where's eric singer we started an hour no one's been able to find him

1:48:47 Something like that. Ugh. But to some people, I'd rather watch an hour that I know is 100% real than an hour that's, We want it fake. and it's like a fake jiu-jitsu reality show. with that is that oh the latest episode that just went up yes he chokes me out he we get in a fight They're putting it on the form, and I just keep deleting it. You haven't seen it?

1:51:12 Columbus, Philadelphia? I go, this guy's nuts. I thought he was like a, I thought, man, this guy can snap. And I'm like, dude, I would love to show you some rubber guard shit, I remember he got mad about something. No, no, no. with a bouncer or something. I love Junie Browning. So I'm like watching the show, studying their fighting techniques, seeing

1:53:29 What happened was. The place is packed. He's coming right for me. from Kentucky said what's going on dude bro man we're always studying your books and smoking weed and on the mats with your book out. I do Yeah, he's funny as hell, dude. kinks you know a couple kinks that's all i mean we've run into so many guys over the years that out as kind of a brawler

1:55:38 for real. fucking well he would benefit from hanging around you man if he if you know you understand troubled there. And it all trickles down from you. All I'm doing really is acknowledging that everyone has an ego. They can correct themselves. No one gives us this. you know cool things that people post on the message board and it's all like a big thing

1:58:11 And I appreciate so much just going to class and everyone's just sitting there and they're in arm bars and chokes and shit like that. misconception about jiu-jitsu that Jiu-jitsu classes are a bunch of meatheads their douchebags or dickheads and she think it's like we train in a cage like a golf club. I'm just guessing. arm like a couple of weeks ago you know but like you know for the most part when you get you go to you know you get involved in like like serious rolling with somebody everybody's fine at when

2:00:29 Exactly. And it's just fun. You have to keep working. Everybody has to work out. If you're in perfect shape, you have to maintain. You have to keep working out. because if you don't have if you don't have your ego in check then you those people don't survive as time passes, you start tapping dudes out occasionally. But still, you're usually tapping.

2:02:33 energy and if you don't exert a certain amount of energy with your body your body starts to betray Are you going to start that? Man, there's some insane shit. interesting a bunch said nothing can latest version of you're, and just added on to it All right, so for the last five, six months. games are better now they're not geared towards the accuracy of a keyboard and mouse as much as

2:05:06 and the controller When you were talking about I would have lost my life. that has nothing to do with it, Six hours? For you, I would probably go with more of like a borderlands or something like that but formula and i'm sure it's bigger and better than grand theft auto but for me i just played it and I'll give you one. That's not what happened. Here?

2:07:28 And Jiu Jitsu. that I liked my high today. Your shit fucking fucked me up I was completely And we just said, well, let's just fucking, just for an experiment, Yeah, she looks like she's 12. Whoa. It was interesting watching you loosen up from the first set you did on Thursday night You remember before we all smoked? Right. And he realized that. we get high right before

2:09:56 it's all smooth. you gotta make sure Yeah, my best teaching always comes from I felt pretty good. in you know i walked in joe they're about to de uh dev the dollar. They're going to take the dollar away. It's been proven. We're breaking down country music. and then you go right in there. Oh, dude, He pulls up the story and shows it to me Because the other day I was talking to my dentist, and he said this radiation is about equal to standing next to a microwave.

2:12:36 But he said it's not that big a deal. Is that okay? Makes your sperm ineffective. it's just on your lap. I got this thing for that very reason. views or something like that what yeah where that shit is i don't know where it is it's like an hour from detroit but we're doing two That's it. Listen to her on We had her here first, That's it.