Joe Rogan Experience #563 — David Choe Transcript

Transcript

0:00 yeah that's how i like to open up my show dude you're fucking these instagram things that you're my nephews and stuff and they're like teenagers like they won't even watch a one minute youtube have like mercury poisoning high blood pressure high cholesterol all that shit i just got diabetes just did this one arm bar or something right he um and he works at or he used to work at this place

2:51 20 years ago he's like but yeah those little wrestling guys you know um you can't fuck with Lee for? years old. I think he put he's trying to break that record well he has he has he has his arch enemy and everything it's it's so i send them to macau we record the whole thing that's that's going to be called the When you slam a guy? And so, yeah, him working for me is not like sweeping the floor or whatever.

6:05 Bobby size yeah but like way skinnier and I go I'll just let him fuck around and then I'll just that glamorous idea that they're gonna go and have an MMA fight and I would It's not, I mean, I fought in Taekwondo and I kickboxed. that's something like there's dudes that are doing it that i know that are like trying to make it in I'm going to eat donuts.

8:07 but whatever. will have diabetes. And you'll cure that shit within a few months. Naturally, before or after? know how to work a camera i don't care you're my cousin you have to you know right i just wanted Right. friends and white and I said no more Asians I'm only hiring white people oh And then they were hired for specifically what their job was.

10:45 which is I'm friends with lots of chefs just having no money No no no for one piece And then it's like oh Well, I thought, I thought it was healthy. you know they're eating at the bottom of the ocean it's just fucking garbage down and once dave you just told that story and i'm like i'm like really and i'm like fuck and it's like i dinner number three so i said here's the key to my house i'm every single day i'm gonna come up

14:49 hugged me and he was shaking me and while he was shaking me someone my friend david chang tripped What you need is someone who's a dietician. deliver the meal every day okay there's a bunch of those yeah susan's healthy gourmet is one that Right. And then going back to it, it's like you have to have, but I'm like, but I love food. first of all so you get like so stomach acids yeah i'll order like three entrees i'll get

17:48 the stomach starts making acid to prepare for the food to come down. i'm looking for shortcuts you can't do that why don't you just hire a real trainer not not critter having an eating disorder is the number one thing to like bond with hot chicks because they all have If you get like a strength and conditioning type gal. The more you suffer, the more you'll enjoy pleasure.

19:54 rich guy shit he gets all like a lot of his blood taken out and then they do shit to it like they and then they inject it directly in the areas where you have inflammation. And he gets this tinnitus like ringing in his ear and it fucks with his balance and And he used to have to go to Germany for it. Right, but it's not good right now. shit is not fun and what i like to do is have cheat days what i like to do is i eat real like

22:52 kicks in. Primarily healthy. You will feel better. Kale tastes like shit. 10 inches like a big fucking salad bowl that you would give to like a family like oh here's our wealth and you're enjoying pleasure and that's a're enjoying your wealth, and you're enjoying pleasure. You are a natural stand-up comedian. First time. My problem with the internet is I always think it's like the Wild West when it's on twitter if you can find it yeah my my um my problem with the internet is

25:58 their technology and we just was like if some it's like it's it's your website now. Why would you do that? So everything on that website right now, the fans did it. You're like, everyone's afraid of the yellow man like black men get the fuck but how come jackie chan never got to finger wait first of all that one quote though What's the number? Yeah, 7, 8%.

28:04 fucking mugged me man if you say you got mugged by a dude that. Right, exactly. It's never I got mugged by a dude. This dude fucking mugged me, man. And it was on the set of the first Asian American porno in America. no but that's in Japan right I'm saying in America and I'm like wow 2005 whatever and that still you know jackie chan is the star of rush hour a billion dollar franchise why doesn't he

30:15 black guys you know if i see you with white women we're gonna kill you yeah but now it's like you were making is true i mean you don't see asian guys get laid in movies and if they do it's with Fuck yeah. And I'm like, I don't want to spend time doing that. Right. A lot of stuff. whenever i see a young guy with like lots of detail i'm like that motherfucker has a lot of energy that's usually from like rate especially the subject matter like the rage drawing every

33:12 I had an asshole fucking art teacher, man. I would draw shit that I would like to buy. Teenage boy shit. eventually humpty dumpty with an axe you're an artist everybody up you're an artist yeah well I didn't do that. Oh, you mean fighting? Yeah, I only had like one fight in high school and it wasn't really much of a fight passing him he looked at me and uh i don't remember what was said, but I remember the dude grabbed me and hip-tossed me down to the ground,

35:20 I didn't say anything. It was terrible. But looking at, like, that changed your course down that path. I mean, do you want to? Yeah, I want to check it out. My kids love art, man. acrylic and oil paint but what i discovered now after painting and drawing for years is that don't want to put up my own uh what do you call like um um i don't want to start my own youtube or whatever

38:50 know it's always like this preemptive like this imaginary fear and i i go we need people like you So you had to do it yourself. I just want to make shit and just put it out there. someone could say like oh fuck him and he's this and he's that and he's arrogant and he's this since i first did your show i i think the first time i ever did your show i'd never been on tv

41:11 shows with me and but they're do you ever have this experience you know you know a lot of rich it's like man it would be so easy for me to just sign this deal and do this Right. And it's a weird thing because it's like, I didn't give a shit when I was poor. You don't have to do that. Okay. this pilot um where just yeah it's not for the money they don't even have to pay me anything

43:58 you can do that though man listen you can you can have meetings and there's one of the things you Nobody fired you. with shit i just want to go do my stuff you handle all that and you could do all that and it could to go to like a Denzel movie You know? I would love to see that. it's not that forum that forum has already been established it's already locked down it's already

46:48 not just right going off on a rail with you close to what i'm saying i love it yeah i've never met One second. If I decided that... You're probably having more fun doing that shit gets hundreds of thousands of downloads Wow. See it's crazy like finger blasting and getting, I'm like, You really have it. automatically you you get rid of the whole point of having fuck you money yeah you can't say fuck

49:18 I don't worry about guys like you getting corrupted by the fucking grist for the mill. The best. about they were like we can get more money from advertisement if you stop saying this or you And he quit the show because they were turning him into something else right they were trying to take this uncensored brilliant That's the way that shit works. You know, I know I could sit here and talk to you about like, should you turn into subscription

52:08 when is it enough right like when is it like so you got to show uh that like the chapelle show that's happening and look maybe some people are going to criticize you and maybe you'll take that There's nothing negative about that. And it's not their fault. 100%. They'd fuck everything up. Right. They'd say, you got to stop, Brian and I. It would go bad the day that happened. Of course, 100%.

53:52 I have a medical marijuana license. fucking stoner dollar we're people i pay taxes okay i'm in the fucking nra god damn it right You don't have to do that. uh you know music and then you know books comic books and at the very bottom is art right It's a solitary sport. There's very little They can all suck your dick. was bad and he just was a guy who just had no hope and what he said to me was like i would draw all

57:25 I was one of the best artists in his class. You didn't keep in touch with them? I went to art school for a year or two and then I dropped out and hey you can't wait in line like everyone else i'm like dude i'm please and and he like looked over he's like hey I forgot Drew Struzan. like six old guys with like cigarettes dealing dangling out of their mouth and like all right

1:00:30 Well, that's what you do. Scott Glenn. this movie get made right like it's horrible like like who like like why don't chris o'donnell's a beautiful man i always want to see him right it's a good date you got like that fucking punk rock attitude if you stay here and you do what i tell you you could I love it. So I tell the guy, I go, hey, look, I can't believe this great opportunity

1:03:16 you know so i said look man i'm gonna go for it and if i end up fucking broke or poor or whatever And if you want to bring up the Chappelle show or anything, it's like this whole, like, I don't want to start my own network. poor you're like hey i got nothing to lose if i get the middle class because they both, like, if you're poor, you're like, hey, I got nothing to lose.

1:04:37 It's like, you just need a manager. Broke my rib. My six-year-old did that. Yeah, I got with her when she was really little the thing joe just showed me looked like a grown adult it freaks me out the the mountains and And so, like, she's great. I still love comic book movies. about hitler taking meth like hitler apparently was like really in the meth sounds about right

1:07:16 Oh, wow. have any nerves at all that's why he was so intense and fucking hair flopping around furious I don't think that did anything for him. It's like he was really into like. You see eyeballs behind him and stuff. Look at this. decapitated. There's a bowl of what? There's an apple in his mouth. reasons or fans or whatever just when i draw something and i express and i don't have to like

1:10:35 nothing here and you create it and then like just not to harp on it or sound you know it's need to be you there's a lot of fucking people man right and somebody will fall prey to that trap hard is like when i'm at It's like so when your dreams get crushed, you know, it's like be fucking awesome at your job, even if it's not what you like wanted to do and

1:12:52 But they took that job and they made it glamorous. And so I'm just like, be fucking dope at your job, whatever it is. And it's like that really didn't exist before. so fucking often man right so often kids go to school and then they accrue fucking $300,000 in school debt. You're going to be like a quarter mil in the hole when you get out. Yeah, there's a lot of that, for sure.

1:15:12 That's nothing. You should do that. for you to stick a gun in a girl's butthole. Hong dynasty. My mom has it too. life i'd love to travel i'm like i've been hitchhiking since I was 15. No, I'm kidding. thousand dollars this is a hundred thousand real dollars? Yeah, this is $100,000 real dollars. Get that pimpa, kid. And I don't know, since I was 15.

1:18:16 And I couldn't believe it. And it's like, I heard about a guy doing that in San Francisco. that's true I don't know games are fun you know what people like I don't like to play games I'm So. like hey here's 100 take it away i'm like i'm not doing that right so i'm a hoarder i don't know if Because in Vegas like the most you can bet on certain things is like

1:20:49 10 grand what's the most you ever paid a prostitute uh the most money i ever paid a whore I'm not denying any of that You said that to her? chart here it tells you what you are stripper single mom bush like whatever um can i read one murals I did. I don't know what else you want. pay dudes to fuck their wives and like just it gets weird you know hey i was getting there so

1:23:33 Two months later. she calls me and she goes you offer me 10 grand and i go no it's five grand now and she goes A person who has a regular job, bartender, fucking, I don't know, something where you make, like, you're middle class. Like all the guys always say something like 20 and up. Now this girl, when you said now it's five grand, what'd she say then? She said, go, no. When I ask guys, what do you think? Oh, what do they think the number would be? Yeah. Now, this girl, when you said, now it's five grand, what did she say then?

1:25:39 She said, go fuck yourself. with my soul and time like i mean money when money's no object for me it's when people waste you you've faced this massive amount of backlash online. type of shit where it's like we heard this and then they just it's all like this guy's a piece three shows back to back. And then it's like I'm throwing myself under the bus constantly with my own show.

1:28:43 It was ruining my life. player so then it's like still a famous person you know he's like No. like i've never like right and then people started bumping me in with terry richardson i'm like You know I've been to prison five times You know it out of proportion and i'm like wow the show that i created in the first place like what happened the the feminists are like wait till this comes forward and we're gonna all get behind her and

1:32:33 So, like, when you were doing it, is it just you just get caught up in the moment? just losing control of the show it was tired it was late and i was like i'm gonna say something obviously you could be wrong but i listened to your explanation of it and i know what it's like But the way you did it Without getting that guy in trouble why i'm like everyone who like got down on me i i'm sorry like i deserve like knowing who i am

1:35:00 So, um, and I understand it from a point of someone who does podcasts too, that you can It's like, I know I'm not a murderer. Well, you're also dealing with Asa Akiraira who's like one of the most hardcore of hardcore porn from the beastie boys steve never gets late he fucks a pocket pussy every night right and so Dave. So thumbs up. I'll show you, I'll show you a cool video after. So we go to Vegas and he's

1:37:59 He's just, and I, and like, I'm on the bed just filming it for him. and one of them stops, and he starts fucking one chick. So she goes, she spits a loogie in his ass. and i twerk back and forth until i come and i go what the fuckness of the band around my boner and i twerk back and forth until know not the most attractive guy like a short like um very fat nerdy looking asian guy

1:40:36 Maybe, like, my worldview's a little bit skewed and it's a little, you know, it's like, you know, that never swear and someone walks in the room and says fuck it's like oh right oh my goodness do whatever like I find not rape that's where I know you're victimized well I How's it molesting you if you like it? I'm a sick demented person And it's like, no, I'm not a rapist.

1:43:22 And if it was on any other message board, people might like read it it and go what the fuck did this guy just say but it became normal But how would they know that you're not a rapist? Right. You know me. I love the Hong Dynasty shit. then you do it it's like oh dave's creepy but it's it's the the people that like come at me the most it's just filthy i find a shoebox and i'm like oh hundred grand from the vegas era and i go

1:46:34 money it's good get a kid out of debt whatever and so all these people complaining well if i was rich That's why you would do it. 10 people are playing. 10? 10 people are playing Contest Critters Anybody can go there That was closer to like 9-11 and it was so ridiculous and it makes people like and they're like, Oh, the next episode can't go up tomorrow.

1:49:13 they're like who do you want joe and they're so nice our fans are fucking great too but then I honestly try to figure that out. So, was this post the internet controversy or pre? Well it's up there I mean So the entire time are gonna be very happy people were very bummed out on my website my message board people were buttholes and all this chaos you're automatically going to attract a certain amount of unsavory

1:52:33 Well, how do you deal with it? You're always going to get a certain amount of them. Just be nice. can kick your ass no matter who you are really right unless you're at the top of But I think you put out a certain energy and you get back a certain energy. So, it's like, that's... but you've grown from all this stuff right i think so have you grown from this personal

1:55:12 I'm trying to figure out who I am. voice and in the meantime like yeah i'm falling i'm failing here so i hopefully i'm learning from this experience well it's also for my show it's like we say some fucking horrible shit and it's like if you're if you're part of the Right DVDSA.com We broadcast from An insane asylum now From a it's a real insane inside an insane asylum and so it's

1:57:56 It's the new DVD essay, so it's like Saga 2, But what are we looking for here? I mean, we put it up on YouTube, but it's censored. always makes me feel good like you know i'm 40 i'm 38 years old i just started a punk band with And you just did like, let's just broadcast live from a fucking insane asylum i don't think that's a real disclaimer, though. Especially since you've come on this show and you've said.

2:00:24 Stack the podcast like stack the Or did I just bust my ass and just fucking go for it? I already sold out a million dollar art show in London. So you were rich before the Facebook shit even went down. It was like, it was a very good life. dumbest like easiest clues ever i was like i want to make it all cryptic like the game and make it And right now, like I said, there's only like 10 people playing, and it's like the points

2:03:24 to be a thief. I'm a gambler. your favorite place to eat i don't know let me ask anthony bourdain and he'd be like what the It got taken down. So then that's why I love like vid me, And then at midnight, I'm going to fucking or close to midnight, like at nine, I'll do another three hour live podcast. I'm going to be, we'll talk. It'll be fun. It sounds like chaos. Yeah. I'm like able to do that. Yeah, come by for like an hour or something. That sounds crazy. Yeah, it'll be fun.

2:06:03 Like the pain, like the torture. You live like a crazy person. forget all this fucking bullshit you've talked up until now your podcast tv bullshit you're an artist okay so let's talk real talk about you being an artist So isolation, cold and miserable. It's going to take me like a week to draw that the way i want to draw it and then there's a playboy model

2:08:30 You're a comedian. And speaking just for me, because I know my best stuff always came from rejection, hatred, getting dumped, living in miserable conditions. Sex workers. But I don't... When I was a kid and I was doing stand-up, when I first started doing stand-up, because then you'll never be able to do the great comedy. in Beverly Hills. So that, to know that that comfort comfort like i say it all the time

2:11:17 the same thing so i i go do lots of uh rich white people kind of enlightening you know wellness to do that stuff, that I actually hate myself We're very malleable telling you right now could change tomorrow but as of right now i am working on animation tv shows Yeah, but they don't love you. You're not paying them for that. so much right now still fulfilling my my sexual needs sexual needs and then at the end of the

2:13:51 Everybody's voluntary. fucking denny's i don't i don't want them working as uh garbage people well like i said the women That's a great gig, though. We had a good time. you know yeah and you've got money so you're a target i look joe i feel like a catch i feel And it's like, we're like sort of the first everything, you know? I'm going to do my job, and I'm going to do it as best I can, you know?

2:16:45 on your own and you're proving that you're successful. You're only fucking hookers. You're David fucking Cho. bothers you very evolved. Like, and I go, okay. And she goes to flip over your left hand. She I mean, there's nothing I could do about that. It's like you're just like I have a friend who has adopted a korean son and he has his own to me right now and he's like come on dude it's like all the kimchi in our blood or whatever but

2:20:14 more people like as a group that are more dedicated to hard work and like if you don't work hard if He was national Taekwondo champion. Like this. constantly miserable but he felt like if he didn't live like that right and i haven't be happy that's It's like all the big funny comedians that are successful in America are Bobby Lee, Dr. Ken Jeong. This persecution, this torment, part of the culture.

2:22:02 You have... As they become more entrenched in the art form. like you wanted to talk about i i i would my whole thing is always you know for me that's just ends up being like dicks. Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the, uh the close-up of me doing the comedy it's like okay so what like a i already like pain like that you was like like some tom vu shit be like man you make the money and I was like um you know because I know how to make money right if you

2:25:40 and stuff i was like yeah sure and not and they're like um yeah all there doing some weird artsy fucking fake rape shit or whatever like i need a real comedian and i go fuck you dude fuck you a real comedian if i just sabotage your whole act should be able to go up there and talk about weird hawaiian And I hear those like Chappelle and those guys do like the 14 hour.

2:27:45 we're just killing And I was like, Wow. but Bobby killed after us. Like, he had these eyes. I don't know. insulted him Yeah. Right. will fucking shoot you right i'm pretty sure but he in a similar way he has that this weird korean Thank you. Thank you. Always a good time. My brother. I'm glad we got to talk about this And that meant a lot to me. That's pretty much almost sold out.

2:31:21 Don't change. Thank you.