Joe Rogan Experience #58 — Jason "Mayhem" Miller Transcript

Transcript

0:00 you you you you you you you This fight and people whoops and people can say all they want about like Sakuraba's old and he's definitely he's definitely old he's definitely but dude you dismantled him yeah that was like the the most the cleanest most like precise He's been beat up, man. And I feel like a lot of my career is due to him. Yeah. value system i'm like yeah you have to do that which kept me you know working hard and mixed

4:50 in the fight while you're realizing you're doing this are you so yeah yeah for sure you were you know like right you know i'm just doing like i'm behind my eyes playing video games right you when you were fighting gsp and that's what yeah i know it's famous yeah i know what's his face Oh, it did? That's awesome. Such a smart dude. A lot of people don't understand.

7:25 exclusive and expensive thing you know what i mean like the like not many people did it but You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about not anymore. I'm reading shit online. Bro, you go down there. You're learning something. You go down there. You could talk him down. Yo, you could man you go down there bro you go down there learning Just give me some.

9:17 What's why? I'm touching you. I know, but this is what everyone else sees. Most people are listening. about he's looking at the computer screen what the live viewers are saying jason mayhem miller What's the most? Like Baroni. I don't know. Well, I mean, I don't really know Nick Diaz, but you know what I'm saying? Nick Diaz was one of the guys that was involved.

11:47 That's the best picture ever taken. And I don't even think it's their fault because it's so many fucking people in the cage that shouldn't have been in there. You shouldn't have been allowed to. i want to i want to fuck yeah when you going to leave the door open and dudes get hyped up? And like, I want to, I want to fuck. It makes perfect sense. I just fought earlier that night. Right, that's right. I fought earlier that night, so I was already still. Yeah, I was like, but, hmm, is this a good idea? I just fought earlier that night.

13:13 Right. And look, the guy... So you own don'tbescaredhomie.com? What a nightmare. He's no. What a nightmare. for years the guys talk about me and without saying my name all these guys these f-bombs He just has to make 190. yeah oh sorry bro so he wants They want to do it in January. It was the dumbest thing I ever did. fight better when they don't have to cut weight they just feel better like look how much better

16:16 That takes something out of you, man. Yeah. Yeah, whatever. life for sure yeah yeah oh thanks he reached in and adjusted the microphone like he was changing do you start to dehydrate yourself do you take like just a couple of days three days two well but I've already reduced my calories water calories, you know? Well, what the hell? Don't get crazy.

19:18 The cutting weight thing, I think it's a very unfortunate situation where guys are stuck. hey, dude, let's keep it real right now. like this right now. So what do you do then? But, damn. Has anyone tried to trick you by eating like saltines? i just worked that just mean i had a bike harder and stuff like that i had to like sweat myself out worse you know so you think that after the ivs and everything like that your

21:48 Because everybody is different, right? And some dudes can do it. and the dude is huge. He looks like he's 30 pounds heavier. Yeah, right. They all have different methods, and every camp has their own dude who's the master at that shit. I don't know. Yeah, Ryan Parsons. coached some of the you know great you know we uh tight tight-knit group and we all train hard and whatever you know it's like uh we

25:09 whole career where you haven't taken someone as seriously as you should have it's true but you're It's easier to live that way. That's saying no. This is a fucking very important fight for you, huh? You shouldn't have jumped me. That's right. What? I did. Oh, so you just gave me a retweet. I'll show it to you right here. He philatined somebody? sorry everybody that wasn't very uh you guys don't get that joke it's a technique yeah we

28:21 It's like doing a backwards row. He was Chris. That was like one of the most happiest episodes ever. Nobody tells him, listen, let's ham it up for the camera. They're knuckleheads, yeah. you know he doesn't know he doesn't know that it's me and i like busted out man it's a great But what people don't know I'm going to just get him. if you just kick his leg.

30:38 The first thing I did, get into a situation where he's on television and he's fighting well welcome to america what a I say three. and you're allowed to just get in there and beat the fuck out of some kid I think you'd be the hottest. You think you're the shit. That wasn't bullshit? Wait, are you trying to say that one of my contestants is going to go jump off a bridge

32:43 You're making me depressed about my job, Joe Rogan. You just hit the rocks like this. You're making me depressed about my job, Joe Rogan. They don't even bother slowing down. cover it around yeah actually maybe we could do like pipes like pipes like that look cool you And they're just going to come, and everybody they don't know, Kill then fuck. That doesn't happen all the time.

34:43 Yeah. How are you planning on going out? i'm saying but i would fight the guy for sure they would have to fucking kill me okay i'm fighting You would look at him. Patch this place up, man. Anyway. Yo, bro, you know what? Right. Yeah. A little racist, bro. You know what's the craziest thing? I don't know, man. but he played this Chinese detective. Oh, that?

38:20 Charlie Chan, thank you. He never played Call of Duty Black Ops. That's awesome. with his mouse pad though? to write it. What? I know. I like computers. We're going to eventually share one giant consciousness. All this WikiLeaks shit, what this WikiLeaks shit represents is a new ethic. we're going to know everything about each other. not a conspiracy theorist he's a real level-headed dude and uh he lives in uh i don't want to say

41:37 not could you fucking imagine could you imagine it's part of the charm of the city yeah You live on a – I have to drive all the way up a mountain because you're worried – downhill mountain biking got attacked by a fucking mountain lion who ate her head nice tell me bro out to get him Percentage-wise, you'd probably be okay. They have killed women. i get all my girlfriends bro yeah man getting killed by wolves is pretty rare, too.

44:50 we we dumbed down the wolf we media but fuck them up so hardcore that we feel bad that we walked all over our car, tore our cooler to shreds. You just need to turn off Right? Your guts will fall out of you. I'll turn you on to some shit. You should switch to cartoons for a year or two. and then I just go straight to all the space shows. Every now and then, like Breaking Bad, I'll watch a cool drama.

46:53 That's a funny show. FX. It's on FX. You're really not competing with anything. They have so many great characters and stuff. My dad, like, Oh, yeah. I wonder if he could fuck yeah marquez couldn't do shit to floyd though. And Marquez and Mayweather went to war. And, like, that kind of showed that, oh, okay, you can get touched, too. He got angry. Yeah, it's business.

49:21 Undoubtedly, man. All that other shit, you can have too. but is technical That's like the big battle, a professional mixed martial artist, Do you try to squash those thoughts, or you just go, well, it is what it is? talking about i'm not crying we're just talking i know that's what i mean i mean look my life is Yeah. Of what, December? All right. It's December 16th.

52:06 I'll say some funny shit. Yeah. All right. I guess girls would think about that shit if they got in the water, too. Someone must have died like that somewhere along the line. Yeah. What's wrong with you, bro? Bullshit, bro. You've never surfed before. Fuck that. I don't need to, son. You don't think that getting eaten by a shark is worth the thrill of surfing bullshit bro

53:51 You know what I'm saying? You might take his back. I'll darse the fuck out of him and his stupid, fucking, dirty, stinky shit-covered paws. start eating you. I try to avoid being a part while doing an outdoor activity He doesn't want to go hang gliding because he might get eaten by a pterodactyl. Parachuting. And then one day she died one out of I'm not scared

56:13 Look, think about what would Tyler Durden do dot com. He's a funny dude, man. Oh, he's the anti... His tweets on Paris Yeah, it did. Like, to me, it's like, why? I forgot what I was talking about. No one is going to watch your dumb show. So this is what I was going to say. and there's lions versus Christians. It's always the craziest craziest shit goes down and that's what everybody

59:16 And the cars, the distance between the curb and the fucking walls Girls became famous because they were showing their pussies Maybe 14 girls have shown their pussy. The point is, that's going to be something they would talk about in the future when they Girls became famous should have been, I got to kick this up a notch. And then she becomes a mainstream celebrity on the cover of almost every magazine.

1:01:28 You don't have to write. No, I don't know. and then all of a sudden they're going to be awesome. Everybody has a computer chip in their brain, and then you walk up to this guy and go, oh, he's awesome. together we're gonna get all linked up like the matrix right now that's what's gonna happen Or future? it's all hyper fascinating dr phanging out with Dr. Phil.

1:03:36 I'm like, man, I'm about to fight a man. I wanted to touch his head, but, you know, that's disrespectful. I was like, man, this is the. I swear. Hell, yeah. Remember when I was supposed to be on that Dr. Phil show or the doctors and you talked me out of it? First of all, that's going to contribute to the end of that salvia. I'm pretty sure. a guilt by association thing because if you

1:05:37 What are you talking about? It's sage. Right. I mean, that's what salvia is. Oh, what? That's Yeah, that's pretty trippy. You're right. It's sage. So it's like this little condensed form, and it gets it up to a certain temperature and it releases a – But the problem is kids were doing this. Is that a good impression of? I've never watched it. Yeah, exactly. Or, all right. Or it's...

1:06:52 Was that a good seizure? Why? about knowing a lot of fucked up where you have to slap the shit out of her in front of everybody You don't know that she's banana sandwich. if it's good and they're hot... The problem with us is that when you have sex with a girl and she's hot, you get addicted to it. All right. Well well i don't Right? Thanks, dude. Hey, Skippy.

1:09:49 Damn it, bro. What? You think so? Some girls get broken. You're like, oh, yeah. get sleepy. Probably your liver But you can get Listen has a fuckload of caffeine in it. Oh, my God. Each espresso is one. Like it's three weak cups of coffee, but they're like condensed into small. No, no. Someone who doesn't take any stimulants But meanwhile... It's a drug.

1:13:00 Oh, really? How are you doing today? When you got operated on? I'm like, no, no. And the guy looks at me like, oh. Wow. crazy dudes yeah really and they're like yeah we've we've seen people like jump up out of their out of me i cut it out what is it what do you mean the middle of your knee meniscus their meniscus I'm pretty accurate. Brian, He's got extra balls.

1:16:28 I know guys that have had discs replaced, A lot of guys have had that done. There's no way, man. you know they use an achilles tendon that's what they use it's a big fat fucking cable it's bigger a chunk out of your bone and a strip of meat where your tendon is and it's attached to So it's, It was all fixed. Black president. Have you ever had your elbows done?

1:18:39 That's what I do every day. It is the funnest thing for you, right? I think I could do it. And what are you, 29 now? That's like when you're We've got to get you over in the UFC, man. Joe, what are we doing We'll go from there. Yeah, we fought. Wow. in the world, UFC long-running middleweightweight champion what did you think when you saw that fight

1:21:11 Yeah, of course. Yeah. I believe, I don't know, I have a fight left. So what are they talking about now? Well, I mean, that's the fight that everyone wants to see. When you're filming that show, But I took five. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When things are moving along. it's like you know you're awesome but nobody else knows like i wasn't gonna say that what i was

1:24:22 So I'm like, oh, I really want to do a good job because these people right hard time over that? What do you mean? What are they going to because you represent the show. There was a lot of people that were blaming you. What do you think? No. on national television. i know yo man they have it man come on they have the jersey shore on i know they don't

1:26:33 This is what we need. because i get to see the normal like everyday funny stuff that i would never see because i what they're calling a star they're calling this young girl whose mom was running for vice president Exactly. it's anybody that And then you become Like that Carrie prejean chick You liked it? No, just with your personality, bro. She's just easily led.

1:29:49 She really allows a nice to you who cares a cute somebody just like having a dog somebody like this you may end up with a situation, and you may not like that situation. I actually practice a whole lot. I mean a whole lot. situation's under control well The situation ain't situated So they can slowly drown Oh, in the middle of the ocean. You son of a bitch.

1:32:53 The situation's parents out town. He's acting like he doesn't have sex without a condom or whatever. Probably. with it. Maybe an Eskimo. The worst is if you Jizz omelets. throwing a shirt on and said, fuck it, who cares? I felt my belly I forget who it was, and he made smell it. Because I was there. I would say no to that. okay fuck it come on we're on the radio you know i'll smell your load if you really want me to

1:35:37 And again. Man, good job. The stars don't align. that's talking about abstinence would best represent paint it in a nice way Yeah, that's true. Anyway. Yes. It feels like it's right. That's right. We're almost on our year anniversary. Why don't I get any snowflakes? that goes right to the internet? It would be broke forever if it was just What are you talking about? It's like that now.

1:39:26 It's everywhere. and technology. A computer disaster. Put it in your eyeball. It is. This is the flashlight that our guests have to touch. I've seen a butthole or two at my time. A stone cold solid I'm like, what? Oh, I gotta put my name on it? I'm putting it out there is a little over bright. You're pricing yourself out. It has to be one million dollars.

1:42:33 Either way, I'm happy. All right, let's take it the other way then. But could you? You don't have to swallow it because you can't. Remember that old man show guy that would chug the beers? You're committed to attempt it for one hour. I paused for a second and pictured you blowing a pony. Yeah. Like, all little girls love horsies. That's ridiculous to her.

1:45:14 Absolutely. I've talked to a few people before and every time I go to Starbucks, I will make you stop riding horses. Yeah. Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip. Did you know that? So it was legit to bust your hymen? I've jerked off once in a car that I can remember. all over myself while I'm driving once. I guess maybe I just rationalized. No. And then, like, I would download, like, the British chick. It was a TomTom it to guys and then I would download the British chick

1:48:21 man so She didn't like that it was a girl talking They have that option? They have myself talk to me no but i i want to hear the chick say i'm like thanks lady or i want to be Bro, I would have broke up with her. What the hell are you talking about? That was my next thing Get out of my car Right. She wanted to say shitty things. Do we like each other?

1:51:06 Fuck, I'm an asshole. I date the same kind of girls. They usually have drama at home. I mean, how many guys have you ever met? What the fuck? Yeah, well, he's got to get the right stuff. They drink Mountain Dew every day, and that's it. way different yeah i saw that show louis uh uh louis yeah and i and i saw the guy and i was like No, that's not the correct, what they call etymology.

1:53:55 they would call them faggots too because they were women. have been a joy to be around and a wonderful How long ago did you retire? I don't know. A while ago. That's the only reason that I don't want to say it. Oh, my bad. How long ago did you retire? And I understand why people say it. Hey, That's what I'm going to do. there's always another time.

1:55:42 if I didn't retire that word faggot right now, The word nigger. So you're more scared of gay people than white people. Here we go again. He's reckless. She's a real live lesbian and he's running around calling her a faggot. Brian, man You're going to have to go back Not cool, dude. you I made she said you guys talked on Twitter huh my mom say you guys talked

1:58:14 That's got to be rough, though. So they just fuck people's moms? I'm not kidding. That's where I met her. For my friend Brian, most of what he says is just for comedic value. That's the problem I have. Yeah. don't have anybody like these people. yeah this is like super hyper accelerating shit for some people you know from people that are i do i always wanted to win a radio call-in contest i always wanted to hear my name on the

2:01:12 It's called blowing your speakers. I'm telling you, Brian can set up a podcast for you. Yeah. It's going to be interesting. That fucking... right? How is it? Miller used to really drive home you know you called her miss miss miss miss I don't want to get audited or any. Was that what it is? Well, obviously it is. They just went back. How does something like that make money?

2:04:45 when's the last time you clicked an ad? So it's crappy like websites. fighting it just because they want freedom? if you don't have the Milli Vanilli CD on something you're serving. And all of this website, like Pirate Bay, is pointing like, Because someone somewhere had to attain a copy of it somehow. then what makes it stop then, you know, Google has maps and it tells you where to go

2:06:45 I see what you're saying. i i see what you're saying i totally see what you're saying but i i also see like that you know for sale you know if i can buy it i buy it ever download something is when it's not available for sale. You know what I mean? like CDs are going to make everybody, Yeah, of course. I'm lucky. I've been to Amoeba. I'll buy a CD, though.

2:09:15 You have all your media in your hand. It's Mayhem in the AM It's a big drive on the highway today is the mayhem show right this is the natanya show oh man and so then wendy williams will be i'll be And then we got the traffic. it'd be some fucking Wait is this a Brazilian jungle rat or something? that have been mutated by ooze and you realize when you see that how high rats can jump they

2:11:33 And it was like attack size. How do you know it was a rat? Because I killed it. So I set up a trap. Got a rat trap, bro. It was big, dude. It was a rat. But it was big, man. It was like half the size of a cat. How do you know it was a rat? This is before I even had JoeRogan.net. He wanted a shitload of money for it. I can't give you that much for fucking.com.

2:12:38 Because there's another dude named Tom Green. I guess Kevin Smith has some sort of a whole podcast, like a studio set up. If you want to do it, man, we could set it up. My Chris. Yeah. I always can't remember your name yep because so you're red band i can't call you i i get a nickname on I'm like, oh, right now I'm going to live my life, dog well yeah my giant dog was inside oh yeah my little dog that was outside that got jacked

2:15:14 over his shoulders yeah and he doesn't have the bulldog because the bulldog is is you know would Well, I'm not talking about- There's this guy and this girl crow that just sit out and make these clicking noises, like So I left a steak outside for 10 minutes. and she's a whore. 3 pounds? She's a 3 pound Yeah, ten dogs. Oh, yeah. like a collar on i would be you know whatever the the line is blurred at that point the line

2:17:54 This is crazy. I feel real sad. He starts checking out my dog's balls. I'm like, whoa. Is your dog fixed? I'm sure that'll help. I'm going to answer the phone. It's right there. They don't follow you on Twitter. What the fuck? It is late. writes a really great article you've got like real talent I mean it's the latest one you'll appreciate because I'm in could write some crazy Hunter S. Thompson shit. His writing is really good. Thanks, man. I mean, it's excellent.

2:20:19 Because what is Rio like, man? I see the article. what they tell me about it. love to do stuff like people are good at things and like they really love it and it's the stuff violence anything nutty i mean i saw the favelas no we went to the favelas we went to a couple times to like It feels like a military presence instead of like an army, It sucks that that's happening right now.

2:23:53 police officers families they would go to their family and just kill everyone really yeah they you know, Yeah. It's crazy. I had a great experience out there. It's moving in a better direction. And he posted, I think it was him, He had a pocket full of money in his lap, and he was looking through it and trying to fish through it. Yeah. You think so, too?

2:27:04 Isn't that OCD, though, or something like that? Masturbation or online arguments or video games. He wants to talk about your butthole. I would like it. I'm so hungry right now. What it feels like to masturbate The tickets for the New Year's Eve show when you put in the code name. What is it? Rogan. Rogan. Very simple. All right, bitches, I love you.

2:29:01 No. He's light-skinned. That's not racist, bro. I don't have any details.