Joe Rogan Experience #586 — Kill Tony Cast - Tony Hinchcliffe, Sara Weinshenk & Kimberly Congdon Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the Joe Rogan experience Hi there. I did sets before. And you've been doing that for how long now? I can't see. I love those pants. It's true, though. And especially now, And I'll just use those tags as my new joke. We were like, hey, that was fucking good fucking good shit dude you could really be a comic like you're a comic work in front of them sometimes they're like this person's going to be a star. And sometimes it's like, wow, I can't believe this guy didn't iron

4:26 because they listened to that show I did it with Dom Herrera, don't do much with your stand-up like a lot of comics they record their sets then oh I just do that better like I had this you know and you start thinking by the way, But that crazy enough is the joke that he remembered me from this open mic that the fresh me wrote the premise for. Or sometimes, you know, I listen to probably half of my recordings.

7:26 Yeah. laugh yeah I mean every show once it's part of the thing and especially it only just because i've been doing it like you just gotta abandon them that's what makes it so crazy Go ahead. It's so scary. huge thing because you have the live audience too right you know so it's not like you're just When you watch someone, you know they're nervous up there.

10:18 So it's also so cool because these two always go on at the end of each show. this big producer's letting him live in this mansion we found out all this stuff and you think if they couldn't feel it then they would just go wow these two you know i mean the g's they do this getting to watch Kim and Sarah bigger eventually so they Then you'll have one that's like fucking 15 seconds or one that's 20 seconds.

13:11 Now they're the only two. Like I know a minute. Bitch, that was seven and a half minutes. Exactly. And you're like, I gave you 30 minutes of fury. 33. And you're like, bitch, that was seven and a half minutes. Like, what is it like doing, like, what's the longest you guys have done? Close to three years. Like every two months, release a 15-minute special.

14:43 It's not a bad idea. out that there's this fucking gold mine on sunset and a professional management sit completely dark it was just this giant 400 and whatever seat room that you'd have to walk I went to see that the night before packed with people and they're just dissing each other and when they're dissing each other people like you said when Jeremiah and Jamar neighbors like on separated those two

17:46 Dude, people forget about those prior Gene Wilder movies, okay? monkey in a sensory deprivation tank it's william hurt you never saw that it was awesome in 1981 something that they did two Richard Pryor Yeah. Have you seen him in person? Yes. The size of his head. I have a theory. Have you seen him in person? Hey, let's not diss his head. So you think there's just more matter in there?

19:56 and then he was on this all black show Pull it out. You want to see it? You guys don't get it. That's always been a thing. And he's like, not cool. Like, is it one of those reel-to-reel things? And these are all the movies that inspired him, insane you would never believe these so different than any okay I don't know what you mean though He's known for his unconventional style.

23:37 I think probably the most famous line is, I'm gonna get medieval on your ass For all I know, he might have been doing a character. So he put it on a cassette tape. Rick Ross in the hole. I need a hundred black preachers And Anthony Hamilton. I love his fucking movies. where you're like, I remember when I went to see it, this motherfucker just broke movies.

26:46 shit that's a great video though made a few errors in this time you've seen this Oh, I'm starting it? Yeah. Where is he? Just stick a fucking camera in his face. And he's still normal to that guy not answering. Watching conflict is fucking weird. You're somehow another invested in these people that you're following. You know, that's why when they get into conflict

29:37 After an argument. Yeah, but what happened was... an hour and a half long unknown about compared to his other movies. I never got around to seeing them It should be Jell-O or milkshakes or something. evidence those motherfuckers were eating turkeys no like why is it this one food they may have been big-ass Iowa ears of you know all those like our tomatoes all of our apples like

32:30 exactly they're doing but they have these open hole where you could literally reach into the like what are we doing like what how do you how is this okay like how is it okay to have a hole Yeah. Oh, my goodness. It's not a healthy animal. You said they were doing it to help the cow? It's fucking disgusting. things where you you know they take you, you can stick his hand in the hole of this poor cow.

35:59 guys got in the can now 82 82 kill tony so you girls have 82 minutes of comedy. Yep. Has anybody And that was when we first started. Did you guys do Kill Tony in San Diego? L.A. has a kind of specific crowd in a lot of ways. Yeah, I think I feel like it's harder here. And like they're just like, it was just like this weird disconnect. They see this guy kill.

38:36 I think the thing about those places is they're not as open to experimentation though Like, who's doing hack jokes? Well, not to their face. Right. that premise it was like a super common hack premise yeah cops and doughnuts Like travel, most know differences between cities like all that stuff is like like baby blocks you be smart. Your legs will be up in the air.

42:12 I'm like, You know, then yeah, they could do that. Really? He's got a totally different style. He's got this new bit about ISIS. He's just trying to kill he's trying to say the funniest shit that he could say That's one of the fun things about sitting in the back of a comedy room is you get to see the shadows, One guy falling out of his seat, Yeah.

45:10 Everything is funny. He started back a couple weeks before I did. It's like you're on this, like, comedy caffeine thing. It's like that it's this weird, freaky hangout spot, you know? And Adele. Whitney Cum Jeff Ross is back there. And Adele. i just couldn't wait to get up there it's like there was so much it was all in the air in that And I think that a lot of comics, when they started doing podcasts and the Corolla Show and other people's podcast people started

47:50 She was hilarious. Just go to an open mic night. There are some hacks at open mics. You see that a lot, especially on Kill Tony. Yeah, that would be like your headshot stand-up comedian. that are really struggling, you just get better You do the audition. He could have done it. But the reality is you got to get picked. They're always hoping that you like them because they audition all the time.

50:24 The woman started eating her sandwich and checking her texts while he was doing his lines. and you're like oh my god i'll never eat you mean that's fucked yeah and sometimes like commercial today at you know 33 Sunset Boulevard at 8 a.m. so you get their schedule around When you do that, would you play a 50-year-old Asian woman? I started going on auditions.

52:28 Like, what is this? And, like, they're the scariest. It's the bejesus. Yeah, black people. especially actors. Right. I would be like, this is just, just I had a one time I went to this I go oh all right so I start reading it and And she's giving me these fucking dead eyes because I insulted her need to be from New York. So in this, I have to sing to this chick.

56:11 like trying to soulfully sing this Bruce Springsteen song to this woman henscliff yeah i know i imagine that could happen with you as well under the right circumstances You should have seen the lobby for that, my friend. I think it was like Huffington Post or one of these recently, And there's Mormon missionary gay sex porn. Ooh la la. What is that?

58:51 had such an exciting experience. Now he's What would you say mentally you are? That's what makes you 18? Yeah or 12 Good for you powerful in the moment chick. Do you take in too many variables? Really? think a panic it's just all inside the head oh anyway I ended up farting and that's new. I've never felt that before that's a problem. That's what happened to Brock Lesnar.

1:01:40 Like with Brock Lesnar, supposedly all he ate was meat. It's not just a luxury. that's deep i was cleaning my bedroom the other day and i have a pretty big bed but underneath And so that... It's disgusting because if you ever do move your bed, of the bed like an iMac it would only take an iMac to get you to do that hell yeah wow what about Yeah. Welcome to the wonderful

1:04:08 and I told him What a good move and you can't see anything like elliptical seizures epileptic you fuck he corrected himself wrong that aren't what you think they are. It's cool, man. Yeah, it's really neat. Yeah, that should be fun. than for the Pasadena. Wide open with suggestions. And like, everybody there is so nice too. Yeah. Ian Edwards too. It's really good.

1:07:37 It's awesome. He just decided to go old school, do it black and white. I want to not be working a day job I mean just doing enough It's hard. just with that. So I was struggling. That was the name. phones doing all the shit the comics do like that's one of the few places in the I was just like, what? actually it was november of 2011 because he was in he was in one of the towers when the planes

1:11:09 Yes. Followed by a long run-on sentence where I throw in a bunch of likes. They're saying it's always been like that. It's always been like that. Glitch in the Matrix. Most people don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Why did I think it said Steen? But you don't go Berenst, you just, oh, Berenstein, you know, Wolfowitz. I feel like it was in cursive though, right?

1:13:13 So I bet it's one of those cursive A's I went like three days just looking like a crazy person. But I think it's one of those things you just sort of chunk those words together, all those letters in your memory. A-I-S. That's so stupid. and they do have a little bit of a country accent, the Bears. It makes no sense. Bernstein. language but it why busy boy they do oji they have this like sort of like like

1:15:37 Some crazy ass noises. Oh, that's hilarious. They have their oriental rug. They're Chinese as fuck. Subtle racism and children's stories. It's fucking panda bear. Exactly. Okay? Ethnically ambiguous. Polar bear hair. Clear. I mean, that's what it looks like almost. I don't think they don't live. So then they take I would love to. That would suck worse.

1:19:43 all you're eating is like seals and shit. You could do that. Yeah, just the thought of sliding around on my polar bear belly, It's pretty fun. put, it's called Slide the City, That's a giant slip and slide. Yeah. They're nasty as fuck. And it's kind of warm, too. Yeah. Yeah. Are you trying to be silly? Wait till a kid swims by. The kid's parents might be upset if you fart on their kid,

1:23:09 Art Kelly doesn't seem to think it is. She called it pee-pee. So clearly we're talking about two different things. I don't know. Jesus Christ. from the hackers that have hacked Sony? he gets paid than james franco seth rogan and it's just dirty shit and they're just it's just to shut down Sony? it was North Korea Right. What if they listen? Yeah. I mean, that's a, you don't want to fuck with that.

1:27:21 oh they're those these are people like it doesn't They don't give a fuck if you are an actor. Like, killed their kids and gave the wife a promotion. Like killed their kids and gave the wife a promotion. It lashes out at Sony Exec for whore snipe. Oh, they said nasty shit. All that shit's getting out. I protect my brand. and they were laying into each other one

1:29:20 Rock's brother every time Because he waited so long for it. Oh, that was great. Like, that's what it's all about. Even though he had just won, he didn't want to hug, He got very ghetto fast. Very ghetto fast. new meth. Yeah Do you ever go to yeah no nope i'd done the traverse city comedy festival which was awesome great festival jeff I've never heard of this.

1:32:23 I did it with Kirk Fox, Matt Edgar, Stephanie Sambari where you don't know what you're going to do Dave Foley just goes, and we're like, That's hilarious. Dave Foley's a killer joke writer, on this TV in the green room. And we're just like, holy shit. That's hilarious. still, he couldn't always get work. there's always multiple spots you could do but i had a chance to sit in the back of the theater and watch sinbad for a few minutes and i was amazed everything that i heard about him

1:34:56 I swear to God. thunderpussing it. He would I don't really remember anything he talked about. Were you surprised by his points? Him and Jeff Garland on the same episode. Those hammer pants? Yeah. He was really, really nice. I think it's like 35 and 32 years Sinbad, I remember him holding towels. For Sinbad. he pat his forehead down with a towel he had sitting there and the other thing was

1:38:13 Eh, I'll just take it out of the fucking sink. got one of those voices man you know he's a guy that is also benefited Yeah. because I usually always watch it, but lately I've been listening to it. I think comedy, I love watching it, and not getting any visual stimuli you're just sort of it and putting it all together in your Yeah. Exactly. You're better than Tony.

1:41:44 The weirdest people. Someone made a subreddit How many dudes do you think, if you had a roundabout number, have spanked it? Why are you complaining? That's probably who made the subreddit, by the way. so much that we, I feel like I've learned in like a small amount of time just from being You know how there's some subjects when you go to an open mic night or any sort of a show where guys are working on new material.

1:44:41 talk about all the time and i know it's going to be what everyone's saying at an open mic but if i feel like i have a better joke about it than everybody else and we've never had She'll be like, Mayonnaise. Let's talk about them. um, they flirt their way to stage time or whatever. I feel like there's not a lot of girls. That's for sure. if an unknown gal

1:46:58 Right. And they're in this constant state. know don't know when you know they should laugh or what what's acceptable that a chick can get obviously it's obvious if you see like whitneyings or Chelsea Handler or even Joan Rivers, like instead of just when you're on stage that camera one perspective you see the looks on their I think there's some women that just aren't fans of other women.

1:49:53 Oh, no. Are they as crazy as the dudes who only have girlfriends? No, he's got a kid. Talking about like girl stuff like he was way too into talking about like shopping and gossip He just showed such feminine behavior patterns. it's like battling it fighting it off and the poor bastard just gave in in his 40s just okay I'm not calling up guys going, hey, let's go to a bar and get some drinks.

1:52:35 And I like gossip. It's so deep. God, it's... What the fuck are you saying? Some of them? White people are so... Jesus Christ. I'm just saying like, white people are the only ones You're only 24, kid. and I think people are just Like we're still stuck in this us versus them mentality that just hasn't gone away. like the fact that one just caught on and took off. It's weird.

1:55:40 control. living while black you know look i could see a lot of different sides to this the bottom line of all and we're just sort of letting them percolate. super organism that's our country one giant instead of thinking it as just a bunch of people I mean, we need each other. Yeah. where you basically create a worse criminal and they make all that money that they get from the government and they'll give the

1:59:21 Yeah. Tomorrow. anyway. Well, we'll just Google his name Ari's last special? He's got Revenge of the Holocaust, Passive Aggressive, and then this new one, Paid Regular. That's what gives you weird ear pains. When somebody offers me to shoot a special. to write new material. The smell and the this and the that. Cowboy hat No no Three piece suit A guy who wants you to choke him unconscious and fuck him.

2:02:52 That would be so dumb. Yeah, you'd be perfect for the Twilight Zone version when Woody comes to life yeah I binge watched And they had to do it with a relatively small budget. wanted to be like them oh my god it was a good spoiler alert it doesn't matter they're so awesome John Lithgow was the remake of it in the movie, which was really good too. and they were going to take people back to their planet,

2:05:32 they're going to eat all these people. The space guys are hokey looking. The's so hokey looking. Yeah. Like everything is hokey. The space guys are hokey looking. Totally holds up. to a lot of people. His honesty, I was in the audience. I've never seen this before. Yeah, and that was at the store in the fucking main room. bring your normal friends and they're like what the hell yeah that's so true yeah you bring non

2:07:56 That dude lived in that place. the abductor and i'm like this guy needs to get his fucking life together 2014 mercedes-benz i'm Yeah. Maybe he only likes kids with taste. Like that, I mean, obviously that guy could get a Mercedes. How old do you think you would have to be before you would give it up to him? I was obsessed with him. Yeah. That's how I learned what huffing was because one of them was huffing paint.

2:10:38 Oh yeah Doesn't go anywhere from here but up. I thought I was learning so much. that's one of the things you don't, as an adult, It's like the costumes in The Twilight Zone. And he's the preacher? in a series of his That's 2009 Every time they're arresting him They went from March to February. Like, how is it going backwards? He's like, you don't get it.

2:13:33 Oh, my God. It's his thing. He's the Captain of Tennille. Faces of death. Especially those fat ones, the fat silver ones. alcohol like rubbing alcohol yeah right but what is it about those smells that Is that skunk is such a particularly strong smell that you could smell it in just a few parts per million in the air. by sniffing their socks. and they would throw them on the ground and shatter them,

2:16:19 threw up fruit roll up next to me and i can still smell it like it's messed up fruit roll up next to me, and I can still smell it. Like a bad wiper? So it would be good to breed with that person. You know what I mean? I love blondes. go to the beach and go surfer Didn't I see you on like a podcast? The sun bleaches their brain too. is there anything like the stereotype of dumb blondes is a very common stereotype what is in

2:19:16 Yeah, like surfer dude, valley girl. perfect yeah except white people right um but yeah like the the blonde thing like like one person like that in an ecosystem can change the entire like like with comedy one She created this whole comedy movement. letting the comics run that place. Yeah. You know, the lunatics run the asylum. You know, The list goes on and on and on, man.

2:21:22 Oh, good Lord, denver absolutely one of the best spots ever and now with the the weed infusion that place is out to legalize recreational marijuana in the 2014 midterm election. That's just not true. Because it's not as sneaky now. You know? Because that's hard to go to school with girls wearing skirts. so you couldn't have the boner in between classes so you'd have to like focus on other things like

2:25:01 You're so confused like the power it has over your system is you are dealing Like who am I? northward like a fucking compass Hey. Yeah. You have to go along the belt and pull your shirt out a little bit, sex is one of the most ridiculous things ever. of food and saying don't eat that's how babies are made yes yes yeah I'm not It's like we take kids and we take them away

2:28:16 40 kids in a class and one teacher good luck controlling those little animals good luck and A tuba. Come get tromboned with a marching band. Not a thimble. I love a tambourine. He plays drums on chairs And go off you know at the comedy store performance Somebody might. Yeah. All kids gravitate towards that, but it's a trap Oh, his hair is sick. Pretty dope. Okay, I have to take it back because that's pretty dope.

2:32:02 That's just the tambourine. Some wild warrior headdress on. putting that music on in the background, showing up with If church was like that, I would want to go. Turn up for what? Or turn down for what turn up. For God. Turn up for what? Have you seen that? Turn down for what? That's disgusting. You know, motherfucker, you need to have an eccentric childhood.

2:34:10 musician and uh i roasted him he flew me jeff ross and sarah tiana to his 50th well actually his wife that would be under things only black people can wear at night. Floyd Mayweather, every interview he does, he wears sunglasses. him white guys wearing like sunglasses indoors or at night shows a lack of dedication to your craft Paul Schaefer. That was Paul...

2:36:14 Elton John. Totally. It's like if you get one I went to a Rod Stewart concert once. Yeah. But then he got like, he got that sexy song. chick fucking up a dude's life too It's off right? Yeah, it's weird situation because then sometimes I'm like, oh, maybe I should just date like a bank teller You're like, I got to do a set. Like you can't just let them

2:39:02 All you care about Apparently there's a Toyota dealership that just started accepting Bitcoin Store, they call it a store Yeah. Isn't that the brown elephant from Sesame Street? Antinopolis, he's been on the podcast three times. and he explains why it's viable and why companies are jumping on board. So you've got to think, like, three, four, five years ago,

2:41:02 Yeah, what the fuck is that? Do you have a plan? And let me make money. I have a friend who's essentially a house mom. yeah you have to trick a guy quick do you feel that how rude you don't agree sarah dude how I'm going to be in his life. of shitty makes you appreciate people who are really cool what are you doing with your hand Oh, good lord. Live at the Comedy Store

2:43:54 So go to ComedyStore.com. Next Wednesday, we're having a benefit show at the Comedy Store. Tom Segura. it's all coming through two little tiny also the soundboard put it towards we'll do a few shows Yes, yes. and like Compton and Watts and shit like that in Inglewood it's really badass something that I'm coming. The Celebrity Theater spins in a circle.

2:46:59 Oh, I thought you were going to say like CIA style. I really come with the truth. not that cucumber. So until then, Ladies H-E-N-K Okay.