Joe Rogan Experience #6 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 H&M H&M Right now, Brian. Live from the compound. Backpack with a laptop and I don't complain like a little bitch and this seems like it's got less shit than a laptop They're so small now. Can everyone hear us okay before we start getting really into it? If this was like real TV, we'd be fine. So here's the thing about the whole tablet. I enjoy your stuff.

3:39 That's a fucking phone. the things like oh my god it's like it's dumb it's a dumb phone it's like it things like, oh, who am I calling? It's like it's dumb. It's a dumb phone. It's pretty easy to type. just getting on the web is just like Clearly. of like what no camera what the fuck well here's the whole thing about this Right. Blackberry's a video.

5:56 Now one of the things that he said in his speech hooked up to the bottom of it. It's lame enough to have a laptop at Starbucks. and cameras and card readers. Put a camera on the fucking than this thing. the light here bang yeah you can read right next to them so this thing would be great Would you pay for the iTablet? But here's what I'm thinking. that tells me how many it's supposed to take.

8:43 of that, I don't think it's going to work. Do you think that's the real Flappo? Just look for Flappo. He's a character. He's like an internet He's kind of a shut-in, but I understand that. But he doesn't want us to take pictures of him put online It could be a girl. The best is meeting people that are cool. What are you doing? I mean, the Internet is the greatest for that

11:20 there's dudes that lived their whole life they used to be thought of as losers. Wouldn't you want to like listen to them talk for a while first? Like J-Date is for Jewish people. That was funny. knows maybe maybe we just don't know that in language you can reverse it and it can show true But everybody wants to talk show and he's making good money right but they kicked him off that show

14:40 on tv and when he got on tv i think just start saying, you shouldn't take that from him. Oh, shit. remember having it's amazing when they like just totally like orchestrate sex You don't like the way they look? There must be pictures. And I have a very hard time beating off to black eyes fucking white girls. You know, that's not me. So there it is.

16:56 As long as you can't talk. wonder what they were really like because we don't really have any idea about their culture like Yeah. I mean, I would like to know how smart they were. What? Come here, Spaz. I like him. because they were really into keeping animals as pets and feeding them. So they were smart enough to build pyramids, but yet they worshipped cats.

19:42 Their eyesight is some insane amount better than ours. Because if I was smaller than her, she would fuck me up. And he used to kill squirrels. And these fucking squirrels He fucking chases him. And he's dragging it in between his legs Wouldn't you be like, He murdered this poor little animal. I think squirrels are cool little animals. But I discriminate when it comes to

22:47 I'm scared of rats, dude. Won't listen to me, but doesn't know it's going to spray him. Yeah. Joe, what's your favorite way to smoke? is certainly your best bet way, a vaporizer is the way to go. And don't think that eating it is just as healthy. People You eat a brownie and you're like, what the fuck? you can't believe how much weed is in it you have to sit

25:18 this 11-hydroxy makes you think about it in depth. and they say, I can't smoke weed. your shit together and you don't realize how many things about your life really I kind of lost you in there halfway there. what you're doing is just dealing with the information going along with the flow of everybody else and sitting in traffic like everybody else hoping

28:03 Expose what it really is. I love songs. You don't like musical movies at all? it's except ginger video where did that come from when you're in high school right they're looking for an excuse to beat the fuck out of right right Yes. You know, you look at the world a certain way because you think, you know, that's how you were taught by your parents.

30:28 They're no different than my idiot teachers. Oh, I don't want to watch that, man. that you know it's like if you roll down the hill you're gonna in a mud you're gonna look different And so they were like showing off. It's just filtered through an entirely different environment, a totally different skin. born with different ailments and diseases and people are born crippled. The reason why you're

33:11 Everybody's biology is different. there's variables like there's variables with oranges you'll see one orange is big and another You think that things are frivolous. You think they're being retarded. You hear about a girl getting raped and you're the same friends and all of a sudden you don't want to hang out with them anymore you think that things are frivolous

34:20 how much of it is your experiences when you think about yourself as you, that it's all the same. on websites, You know, the person, on their MySpace pages. And these are all very important subjects. It's because we're all starting from scratch. playing chess or you know doing jiu-jitsu kids, having something that's difficult to do And this is all shit that they should be teaching in school, man.

37:36 It's celebrated Columbus Day, male might kill the babies to get the kill the babies because he doesn't know if they're his it's crazy humans you know rape and kill babies too so yeah yeah i You know, they have these amazing abilities to communicate, but these motherfuckers live in the jungle. They're cousins. It's people. And one of the reasons why is because American soldiers were apparently targeting killer whales in the ocean for practice.

40:30 That would be pretty fucking crazy. oh, these motherfuckers can fly now and drop ships. Like, that's really nutty. They're just as ruthless, just as smart, The killer whales and the dolphins, imagine if there was something like that with us. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. Yeah, like tigers and stuff. We would never be able to get to this point.

43:08 You would never get to that point. Yeah. And these animals, when they catch something, it's very important that they kill it. bears bears you ever see like a bear bear when it, that's the thing about Because the woman who was his And he was living with bears. I'm not gay so what do I do I kept on bringing it up it was doing in specifics You know, okay, here, chimps killing and eating a monkey.

46:32 Yeah. you know, I mean, the reason why they go after the kill, it must be orgasmic. if we fuck. Well, with a jaguar, every day you have to kill some shit. And you just put that little antelope down. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? listen, we're going to get some video of all these a huge, open, crazy space They show you all the time. that are ostracized.

49:59 These fucking lions are gigantic. And they'll come at you and stomp your ass. try to figure out how they're going to take out these I watch a lot of and everything gets cooked, blast out from the sides. I really can't wait. Are you saying you have to smoke cigarettes? They thought that if they put more patches on their body, they would... Amazon.com.

53:47 I'm not saying this. rather the Congo, has only existed in that form for like a few thousand years. And thousands of And it's got these little short ass legs. Because evolution fucking bird that eats it that looks That's the same planet we live on. It's doing it on purpose. Yeah, where they use tools. fucking it up they watched me they watched me put it out and then they swooped in to look at it.

56:36 And I came out and there was two of them just fucking up the steak. Like a pigeon. And the bird feed I put out attracts these little canaries. There's a topic on your form about it. that gets you fucked up i'm sure there's a lot of those things too i don't want to mess with any You can lose your fucking marbles. smoke it and you know it makes you want to fuck animals you know who the hell knows all the old

59:15 You can legally have a bunch of different plants that can kill you. You know, it's really so weird It's fucking really bizarre that we have, laws to lock you in a cage how crazy is that if you have a giant ass bag of mushrooms and you are You're telling me about this? Right. plants on him. That's bizarre. that's craziness. it's amazing. if Al-Qaeda

1:01:48 I mean, to compare something you use for personal use to Al-Qaeda is ridiculous. you you went back on him right yeah brian's kicked it a couple times that was a year he's done it a online. I think it's on YouTube. The whole thing is This Friday we're doing two shows there Yeah, I smoked a lot of shit when I was young. real like owls look all fluffy and cool and everything because everybody thinks about them

1:04:31 raft and they hang over the edge so that these seals don't see them they see white everything's How come Bear never tried to bite some dude's ancestors are, it doesn't matter if you raise boyfriend. And she thought she had that thing under control. Whoa. I mean, even dogs don't usually do that. You know attacked her and ate her face. Whoa. They don't respect them.

1:06:17 I'd come home with guts to be all hanging out, She'd be purring, rolling around in the dead bodies. Where they go over the claw. Yeah, pop off quick. If you see a YouTube video, they actually cut off a knuckle. If I had never read anything about crows Right. Raccoons fuck dogs up, man. Books we lost to history that would have changed the world. or you quit the cigarettes and because you quit the cigarettes you went crazy

1:09:07 are like really into feet I think with gay dudes and they just wish What? I love people like this. I hate. You know, it's like people that... the only problem Yeah. CT Dirt says, I did a job, and these people fed wild raccoons, and they scratched at the door like a cat. Like there was this one old Chinese guy that apparently goes to the park every day and

1:11:45 Crazy to see. the technical aspects of anything But if they review favorably, say like an Apple product, And It'd sound like this. I mean, it'll sound like this, you know, and all that and all this input coming in. You don't realize how much this has an effect on your ability to, and you'll hear it in your head. I don't mean like I thought that was totally That really was unnecessary

1:14:53 I can't take him seriously If that's what you write He doesn't have negative energy. It's not about me. agent. That's one of the funniest things that I like when someone will ask a stupid question on many forums and someone will if I'm in Tallahassee how would you say What kind of weed you got? Who the fuck are you talking about? incredible it's amazing it's so at this point it's so free here in California

1:18:25 should be 18 with supervision um meaning like you know it should be okay for like your dad to give and with alcoholics at least they have alcoholics anonymous and you know they can help guide you it's a dude who's been there, done that. sing songs gonna comfort you they're gonna play the drums and you're gonna It shouldn't be something funny like, oh, remember that time you got drunk and ripped

1:20:39 It's good for some people. It's true. Did you ever get one? If you have one beer and you get pulled over 20 minutes later, I bet you could probably You really should, if you kill a kid. You know? Unfortunately, they can't just sit you down and go, okay, you got to play fucking pole position for an hour and show me your skills. Like forget about me.

1:22:29 You're just getting too much info. that arrested him died. Have you watched that show? You have to steady your nerves and it's all controlling the ball. Not ruining it, but it was becoming an obsession. i've quit caffeine that shit's hard it is hard you know when i realized i needed to quit i was And then when it finally did crash, I felt like shit the next day.

1:25:08 I'm calling to do my goddamn podcast. That's what people don't know. That's the weed that makes you want to eat and fuck up your diet. Bitch! I wonder which guy's got the Mark Gaden now. First of all, don't ever say you're and spell it like that. you were yeah sometimes i do it i... Make no mistake, you're writing. So like if I'm like out in my car, let's pull out my iPad.

1:27:35 Yeah? You know? Yeah. Turn it on. have to come back a domain name. All right, just my laptop. somebody wants something you just unzip and you get it to them it's right there see i like my You should have a fanny pack company, and then you could also sell iPad slings. Yeah, you could totally do that. They could just fit it right in your car if you had your dashboard fitted for it.

1:30:10 So what do you mean? So it's like a letterbox thing is better to have something that you can read I can watch movies on that. No. the car it's like it looks like a little book it's a little book you know so you throw it in because there's a couple things that it doesn't do. That's another game. and he got us in, and we got a look at the models of Gears of War

1:32:28 Those guys are super cool. Whoa. That's crazy. Why? How does it make Flash unnecessary? the browser. So this will make videos and stuff like that just be in the coding and at Apple. is to make it shitty on purpose as a team. and then it fucks all their shit up. mostly because of the security reasons. Filbert 007. A challenge has been made. Hold on a second. This guy's asking a question.

1:36:06 Oh, maybe. Like, I always make a big deal out of the fact that, you know, censorship of certain words, you know. and you can't use when you broadcast them, whether it's religious people or you know know, really conservative people. But why? Why are they offended by it? It's nonsense. It's a fucking huge distraction. It's just a word. Whether you say,

1:37:50 If you say, ow, that fucking hurt. Yeah, maybe you're like, fuck you! the censoring thing, right? I don't know, Would I let my kid curse? Fuck yeah, it's just words say it this man says would I let my kid curse no but it might be just a setting Teach that to a kid and have him repeat it in school. I mean, that sounds fucking cool. You know, like if something like, oh, that's a proper sports car.

1:40:15 enjoy it over there doing comedy over there it's fun yeah they're fucking cool you know it's like And somebody recorded it on video. This guy wrote cunt. like, you could really that you can't say. growing up right like when describing come on drink on, listen, I was proper fucked. Because they say it all the time. It's like, takes cunt deeper. I need to smoke a fag.

1:43:25 Whether a president's a yoga master and does it all naturally, and how crazy it is that like, at a certain point in time, science got to this weird point. And I'm like poverty and what's going on in Haiti and Liberia, and they would all eat the heart, and it would strengthen them for battle and make them What's the name of that documentary? He's always talking about that.

1:46:13 but the footage is incredible. It's insane. It's in Mexico, it's in Liberia, it's in Haiti right now, it's all over the fucking world. Wait till you watch it. That's the good meat. Who the fuck is calling me, you motherfuckers? Well, you know what? and I want to answer your questions. But, you know, every now and then I get something, a rant line, ladies and gentlemen, between letting the rant come out, letting the ramble, and I want to answer your questions, but

1:48:39 was probably a couple months ago. The crackle show? The only thing I've seen And they have so much different shit there. Like, it's crazy. The girl says I think it was my cat's hair. Bravo is not Joe, do you mind That's hilarious. your website i got a crazy website designer who knows what he's doing he's working on some crazy Yeah, they're all on RedBand.com or if you just want to check out the video part of it

1:52:19 Seriously, if you ever want in any way that has been invented don't you always use like alpha, P as in penis. So I was like, because, like I said, you can broadcast Verizon network fucking clunky hunk of shit. that comes out i might not get that though if the palm pre is because i like the way the palm thing Remember we all had Trio 700s or whatever?

1:54:56 crazy stories that i thought would be a good first book to write you know it's just it's basically What are you talking about, stupid? Yeah, what are you talking about? There are you talking about there's a video plus it's online just go watch it the old one you couldn't open Yeah, people always want to know that. We all talk about how crazy he is.

1:56:29 He's fun to hang out with. what state of the union who cares you know it's almost like at this point in time i thought that Meanwhile, he hasn't done anything. And I'm not a military expert, from all over the place. There's a lot of How do we put a stop to senseless, violent crime in America? He was living in Juarez. streets in Juarez. I mean this shit is happening literally into a country

1:59:39 That's a war. I mean, they're so rich. It's scary shit, man. Very scary shit. Whenever we fuck with other countries, we're trying to get their resources. You said it. That bitch got cut. at the hands of the NFL star. Oh, shit. crazy that there's like an area where if you're born over here you're fucked you're shit out of thing, you know, the whole idea of

2:02:24 How much more would it be if it was legal? They would just all come over. I've been looking at lofts lately now because I was at this party and this dude owned a loft. Have you ever been to a loft? That's – I mean how do people afford that? You really want that? new world order conspiracy But Lou Dobbs might be crazy. That's the secret. They must. you spend millions of dollars I mean if you're a you know an oil company why why

2:05:37 They said that Didn't Obama just put a spending freeze, though, on a lot of the money last week? They go, listen, we fucked up. Has it been fucking up at all? Obama did right after the budgets got increased by 35%. That's what this guy says. Obama did right after the budgets he put a cap on it, so it made it look like You have to look at your life and go, how much time do i have to deal with this shit how much time do i have to take care of my children to pay my bills to manage my career to go to the gym to

2:08:11 And we're just fucking going crazy. They're going to leave, so that's why they should get millions of dollars Your fucking bank failed, stupid. You know, politics in America are It's fucking horrifying. is what he said and i think we need to address that and the founding fathers of this country What we need to do but once they die, You know, maybe in 30 years,

2:11:32 here's our situation you ever seen that guy ray kurtz will uh explain uh technological uh the If they had to talk, if they had to go up there and go, well, what I want to do is – first of all, I want to end this war. in that speech, you know, that mode, speeches like that and radio stations dude there was it's really hard You know, some stand up comedians, you can tell, they're trying to sound like a comic.

2:14:17 to do No And the problem with the DEA is have jobs you know and this is what they're doing and a lot of them signed up to do the right thing, to try to protect communities. what that's crazy they're all fucked up now they've been in jail and they're all i'm saying like trying to be immaculate with my structure of my linguistics You're doing the fake speech thing

2:16:37 Have you been to the Ronald Reagan museum here in California when all that ir-Contra shit You fucking criminal. That guy's a criminal. If you sell arms to for your 4,000, the perfect 4,001 viewers, listeners. I'm thinking two a week would be better than one. Use Flash, Brian, you scumbag. Oh, yeah. The people who are still here, ladies and gentlemen,

2:19:45 Brian and I are going to fuck my cat. It's not looking so good. but what's most important is that we give you the flow. Jesus in space. like The Bachelor or The Bachelor Party. The Hangover. The end credits are some of the funniest shit. talking. I agree with you. I think there is something about car, I have Sirius with the best of XM. But does that make it any better?

2:23:25 He could be doing that in his house, I can't go. Oh, that is a good lineup. It's nights. Listen, fella. I'll let you see a little video real quick as long as you promise to stop being mean. You talking? No, that's not what's going on at all. I'll let you see a little video real quick We're down to 300 viewers, ladies and gentlemen. I'm just being silly.

2:25:27 First of all, anybody that has a 69 in their name, don't have 69 at the end of your name. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And Brian, I understand you're trying to have a baby. Is this hanging out and he just puts on some video of a chick jerking a guy off with her feet 295. Doing chemtrails all the way. He's a good man. He's such a nice guy. He gets in there. I think it is, man.

2:29:50 my car and it automatically connects to my iPhone and then I have my whole iTunes on my iPhone It's way better to do it whenever you want it You control what you want to pause it. to just broadcasting shit. So this is 2 hours and 40 minutes, Let me answer this, though. Did you get a lot of inspiration It's like we're using Ustream, and Ustream obviously has some servers set up somewhere,

2:32:18 How's Tom Green's show doing? He's doing comedy now. I got a new car yesterday. It's awesome. You kind of know what's going to be on because you memorized it. Next week, we're going to try to do it on Wednesday.