Joe Rogan Experience #602 — Ari Shaffir & Duncan Trussell Transcript

Transcript

0:00 I need a new theme song. I used to like the... Tell Nick Diaz night I was like that's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me next to Because, Ari, tell them about the demons. The only way to get the Jews out of my body and they swell up in my chest And it goes back to normal, your penis? So we're here So we're here Hour special And Red Band tweeted some too

2:45 performing in the or that was the craziest picture jeff scott showed me a picture of you Like you say Jarvis, his friend Jarvis, my friend too, Jarvis, You told me when you were a talent coordinator, you told me that. he's not preachy about it and he also admits that he ate a lot of meat he's a bad example of that What's so funny about rape? You know, we all know that.

5:44 It's a real thing. That's why if you see the indian comics the uh from india and stuff they're super uh rape They're brown as fuck. Must. scene, porny. But yeah, in the middle of an action movie, it'll stop into a musical number. Well, I mean, we used to like it. They have all these plots. where people are interacting with each other. It's one person's desire to totally steal the spotlight.

8:07 There's no interacting. Like, you know those found footage movies but they find one an improvised that's hilarious wants to live. And she rescued this, this chicken. come in behind her with signs Some Tim and Eric type dude. as her girl? Yeah, just because you're like, Just make sure that you're graceful when you do it. Oh, yeah. Meanwhile, I'm like, they don't even know how old they are. They're thousands of years old. I think they I'm like they don't know how they're old they are

12:09 So they're patterns that are made on these flat plains. Put a sign of what? It sucks because a lot of what Greenpeace does For Greenpeace. So look what these assholes What's that about? stood on that shit you stood on that shit somewhere and i'm supposed to believe that Is that in sand or is that in stone? There's a dog. There's a spider. It's weird to see the images.

15:16 I'll click on that whoa yeah but I mean that's how my daughter draws people. Yeah I think it was aliens. Go down a little bit. Do you see that one to the far left, Jamie? Oh, wow, cool. How big is that? I don't know. They were laying that down. explanations for nobody goes there they just look at it yeah then the Greenpeace there's Maybe they just thought it was an interesting way to do something.

18:30 I mean, you're looking down at your feet. but they're not like 12 miles long or anything crazy. but there's issues also that the great changes that we're seeing to the climate which is like i think it said here 400 to 650 a.d so they lived there and maybe carved None of it. When we're looking at the pyramids, what we might be looking at is someone's knowledge

20:49 You know, there's like a wobble to the Earth. You're like that's fucking boring bunch of people living in the sand like assholes if you watch if you watch one of these videos i would love it i would if i was Oh, I like the Sirius theory better, the dog star. the potential to become like universe creators but before they're released to like create their own

23:28 if that was really like a plot, very... How about just tell them how to do it? You'll learn eventually. yeah feeling of terror that like some people that's men that what what are we doing here what Yeah. What was the name of his book? s-y-s is there another wine there s-y-s-y-p-h-u-s this is this is I remember that story. are completely lost, gone, forgotten.

26:54 yes some of those philosophers have brought them to God what's that some of those existentialists examples there's no proof for something you're right you don't even bring it up right you don't I think there is. I think there's reason to That thing you just described, the two dribbles before the foul shot, that's called chaos or you're going to be more graceful or athletic,

29:10 all right fine i don't think the issue is a belief system as much as the issue is getting caught up Praise Odin. looking over you and judging you every day and that you have to do your best to make him proud and that doesn't let you question anything. Does he want you to strap dynamite to your chest Well, yeah, it's like, to having child sex slaves did you see that no like they have a guidebook which is like they

31:53 Well, if she's able to have sex in this guidebook, it says if she's able to have sex, yeah. If you have a female slave that you've taken, that you've captured from your enemy, are we allowed to put milk and meat dishes in here? Oh my goodness. him what to do, it's great. That's the main structure. The structure needs to be that a There's no moral quantities anymore.

33:57 That's what it is. It's S&M. you how to fuck on this planet. if you look at it from a big picture perspective do you think it's possible for people to have in order to force growth in a certain direction because i wonder if we would have gotten society That part of me that likes to chime in But I do think that it's the predicament, the people that are a part of it they they subscribe to the ideology of this organized group

37:10 like which one has more atheists, I would say that seems pretty logical to think that. Nope. I bet he could. Closeted atheists. They have to pretend. Yeah. That's right. And he gets a bunch of applause. by people trying to control other people. Right, right. It's only like he only How about how about we just give him some of this shit? What's our favorite shit? Yeah, just give him something nice man

41:13 the Romans gone. And so, so like, you know, in the story, in the Bible, Jesus is crucified between but version when they talk about the the the uh get that same dude to understand why god let the romans in there in the first place. So that was a real monkey wrench in their idea. It was like the paradigm did not fit in with their idea that we're the chosen people suddenly there's these fucking

43:37 That's it. Yeah, Silence the Rebellion. they have the will of the people, because the will of the people is, we don't want any of this fucking terror anymore. make you like long for and accomplish the great heights this is why i just had alex gray on my potential ways that our species can evolve. And so these psychedelics can actually be ways to And then you put it into the Latin and then eventually to the English.

47:26 You smoke it. Just got some out of it. make a fucking tent like this insane archaic way of thinking that's connected to that time yeah so we don't you know yeah like they write as a language So you know how to say it while you're talking? I'd like to learn it I got drunk there for the first time. You take the buses and stuff. Oh, yeah. We're all dancing and having a great time.

50:35 Yeah. Well, first I went, my high school does a half year for senior year. That was the only time I ever voted for president. We would just yell nigger at each other down the street. Scariest word you could ever yell at. is allowed to punch you. See, if you Yeah. You know, who the fuck does he think he is? They're like, you can't even say it. violent. And there is

53:48 Oh, it's just such... He's never got it wrong. Oh, fuck you, old man. The entire time. they go, some, uh he was killed by a veteran yeah oh it was that guy but they didn't even show what happened they It wasn't just that. I just need some time, One of them was there was a carjacking where He was a sniper in Katrina. He was shooting and surrounded the city,

56:17 Yeah, we're not talking about war. It's not going to be delivered from a fucking roof. Yeah, he's just murdering people. and Jesse Ventura bad-mouthing the troops and bad-mouthing the war, which he said he would never do, never did, never argued with this guy. it came out. So they realized that it's I'll fucking lie about him And then it comes out later

57:59 Life isn't You're dead right. That's the issue. I say it doesn't. If he wrote about all that other shit, he was like that was all a lie and she was like what because yeah i'm a fucking kid who just said justice, and the curious case of Chris Kyle, it's really, really well written, which explains like That's your spotter telling you you're going to go to jail forever

1:00:20 Yes, that's what I was going to say. And it's like, and he's being celebrated, right? Maybe they're just doing it for him. We'll promote you to SEAL. Yeah. Mark Schultz has been tweeting like crazy because he's still alive. But his brother, Mark Schultz, who the movie and the book is based on, and who knows what he let put in and not put in. So they're watching an actual fight between Big Daddy Goodrich,

1:03:07 Because why would you make up any aspects of history when you're doing a true story? shorts and now he's got frosted tips and people are saying that it seemed like it was gay and If you watch him wrestle when he was in his peak form, he was a fucking animal. that yeah this was like in the american cy, we're going to tell the whole story. Like, I can't stop.

1:05:10 I didn't fuck any kids. now i'm saying like if you go you want it like if lenny bruce is performing at the laugh factory I know you know, I know And whatever you fill in has got to be directly related to everything you absolutely know Yeah. He sure is. There was no story. There's no like the one bad guy wants to get the whole time. It's like, i don't think you could label he's not like a war like a politician the one the one the bad guy wants to get the whole time it's like i don't understand here's

1:08:07 Anti-war movies? You can see the trend. they got blown up. this is right or this is wrong. without the guilt that goes along with like you're killing other members of your species then what do on birth defects in some of the parts of ir that we attacked because we used shells that had some kind of radioactive isotope in it. Babies are being born there with severe birth defects because of what we did there.

1:10:46 So we don't worry about like, oh, is this questionable morally? And then when he finally has to, it's a kid, but he has a fucking Mm-hmm. your city that you lived in. Just go thousands of miles away back to America. Like that is an ideology. coward through like well in that sense 90% of war is cowardly yeah because Like, what are you doing? Everybody bought a chihuahua and the pounds filled up with chihuahuas.

1:13:50 here's the speech the dad gives at the dinner table after the American Sniper what's his name types there's sheeps and these are the people who believe that there aren't evil people in the world Oh, God. Oh, that was a story. that's actually sadder that's sadder than him lying if it actually happened we're assuming it didn't happen his last words Ari I will give you

1:16:51 This is a terrible fucking deal. With me, Bobby Lee, and Keegan-Michael Key. Is there a reason they didn't want to put that on television? So it's a Jerry Seinfeld type situation. It's all like, all white people. you can do it like this like show me the pool of people that are qualified you No, I love the one that you put that we did that was on the internet.

1:19:01 at the rothbart and with miss pat you know what's fucking awesome about the web, too? Yeah, so you can watch it on your TV. Also, they watch it more intently. Exactly like why even say BJ has one that's great about it's some sex and a dog is involved and they're like I don't want to think about that because the story I'm telling No, but you can see them maybe saying that.

1:21:04 there's nothing ever bad happen to you. You're going to get ideas in their heads. No, no. and you could see that it could be on the horizon, maybe, but it was still kind of like, Oh, yeah. the psilocybin is a million times better yeah it helped with my depression a lot that are connected to your interpretations of these moments. any if that happens just slightly because a lot of people are in a cave-in situation when it comes

1:24:40 change just a slight change is like oh thank god i'm 13 less frightened than i was as you go out, it's going to be a much different path, That's right. Remember that bit? Yeah, once you get into a habit, whether it's fucking, you know, 30 days or 60 days a consistent approach and you'll be alright. But the thing is helicopter is gonna land it's gonna put you back out into your city and that's where the job starts

1:27:59 all day fucking long but if you are stuck in selfishness, you don't see it. Yeah, it's real simple little things, but it's fun. He was shitting on some comic who had become a Vine a vine star, you know, she was a shitty comic on you don't have to be that anymore yeah you can just let that go and let people talk and he's like that were pushing your boat in the direction of a better world

1:30:00 And that means – like whoa i realize now that's all bullshit that's recreating a mushroom trip people that You'll lose your fucking mind. In the 40s? else bipolar people shouldn't try caffeine really they shouldn't take caffeine pills yeah you doesn't therefore exclude Don't drunk drive. Don't deny the fact that they're dangerous chemicals and that people have more than likely completely lost their shit because of them.

1:33:50 probably get like you can't separate your deep feelings you didn't have deep feelings about whatever the fuck it was, when he was talking to Obama, complete with punchlines. and who he is, to do a fucking reality show. So she married Clint Eastwood. I looked up an interview with Eastwood about directing the movie because I didn't understand how the guy at the Republican National Convention.

1:35:40 Yeah. so appalled by the movie that was harsh pretty goddamn hot that's his wife it Were you going to say you also have something? The beginning of it is a... No, no. labeled, we got the wrappers. Just YouTube search, this is not happening. No, this is a documentary. but then the kid picked up a Bible, so he gave the kid acid. and you see the kid's eyeballs dilate.

1:38:53 So he does. I mean, you get to pick the next one. Yeah, well, the concerns. It's that exact amount is the pain? That means another fucking attack's coming. I guess if you've got to pick between a draft and non-draft, World peace. about the consequences of the decision think about the consequences of a decision to fly in a plane you have to listen to them unquestionably.

1:41:24 Wait a minute, wait a minute, we're breaking down what door? Who the fuck are you? Do you know this is Holy Land? Do you know how long Are you going to get in my face and spit? This is a completely new experience. Wasn't that a thing with Maria? I would wear white gloves on someone who's not masturbating. Like maybe pussy? My gun is my cock. The bullets are fucking jizz all over some new part of the world to spread your fucking seed my gun is my cock the bullets are my jizz and the brains of the muhajir d are my pussy friend oh my god in the movie they told him his best friend died to go jim's dead bro

1:44:31 Because there's another article it's horse shit even though now it's like he's the one who was saying it. You helped him tell if it's an IUD or not. And it's Chris Kyle was a murderous liar. will give my life for you to protect you yeah to protect people I don't know You know, he was killed by friendly fire. Yeah, I mean look there when you start shooting things

1:47:15 Like, wait, why is that an allowable policy? It's not a scalpel on the end of a fishing pole. I'm gonna want to attack Yemen stop fucking said of that shit over here. It's killed my father It was proven. Yeah. You gotta talk about it. That's right, man. this is where people get confused. So you have this communist dictator into sort of less way less justified wars absolutely and what we're saying before about

1:50:20 And look how there's no thinking. And B, how do you fix it? But like, no, the police are cool. The guy was a piece of shit. i'm not saying that they should be scared all the time of being murdered but i'm saying the How about that? If he comes in and he breaks into your house and they started enforcing, stopped enforcing You've moved there like half the year.

1:53:06 I'm late for a movie what let's just talk about this first stop and frisk on Wall Street. So people on Wall Street something that grows out of the earth it uh helps cancer and i'll be honest stop seizures if i yeah They go, oh, seems to match. They call technicals on curses and stuff. Yeah, but we want the fucking benefit. We're going to abuse our power so we don't believe in.

1:55:22 You'd be like, I decline that rule. Nobody remembers to wash their jersey. Oh, that's funny. The point is to play the game with comics. It was like- But that's Boston, too. Okay. The seating is always perfect. There's never sight line issues Oh, he did. Yeah helium in Philly listen. I gotta go Please tell me I can go. which is in Houston, too. This Thursday.

1:58:34 Yeah, go to This Is Not Happening on YouTube. No more podcasts.