Joe Rogan Experience #604 — Eddie Huang & Randall Park Transcript

Transcript

0:00 the Joe Rogan experience A lot of hemp. Just wanted to fucking Yeah. Which is fucking crazy, Because they say that it's not North Korea. no, it is North Korea. Well, yeah, ever. What if you went over there under the guidance of Dennis Rodman? forth to each other yeah like in the a huge part of uh the underground economy there is is basically it's insane yeah and when we hear about, like, dictatorships like that,

4:22 that his uncle apparently was planning some sort of a coup, happen over there this is what Sony you were saying no no this was like an A Seth Rogen, James Franco movie was the catalyst for overthrowing the last great communist And all of this stuff, you know, our movie, but not just that, even just glimpses into the outside world. he went to like an international school in in Switzerland. And there are accounts of him from other students.

6:47 That's so crazy. and becoming friends with this guy, and he's drunk. Dennis Rodman calling a press conference. Look who's here. Eddie Wong in the house. What's up, brother? one oh look who's here eddie wong in the house And then they were like, you know, there's another parking garage. We had to go over all the crazy shit that he's been going through.

8:56 What? They're like, let us just give you some guards just for peace of mind. got me paranoid did anyone contact you did you get any threats or did anybody know no one on twitter But, you know, I got paranoid. Yeah. The things that used to happen in five years happen in one year now they happen in a day How the fuck did you go from being a chef to being on a sitcom?

11:36 you part of this i feel responsible you're part of asian history you are yeah thank you thank you there's a lot of Asian viewers you know we should make some content for this the And they were like, you should be here politicking with these Ted people, And we were supposed to like show more love to the donors. where Ted has gone. that come out being like,

13:42 I mean, it's everywhere. bugged you gave me a box of kind bars and I'm supposed to be cool with this Yeah, we're done. And then they just shot 13. Yeah. Man, Randall, you go first. It was, you know, there was a lot of challenges. But with that being said, I mean, I had a great time. Yeah. They were telling me, you got to lose weight. and shit yeah and yeah that's it that I super cool guy friend of mine even but

17:33 And that's what I learned. R's or L's. Yeah. They try to fuck with your accent? No, I'm just, I'm the voice. Yeah. I play the dad. like the casting on the show i think is my favorite part of it yeah i'm not just saying He's a great kid. And I remember watching. He just doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. And they would get really pissed off. an actor i mean it's like the wire dude basically every asian person is hitting you up like yo can

21:57 playing this part really yeah randall's super earnest about it yeah i like wigged out about it just like everybody was like oh my god our dicks are all gonna get bigger on february 4th my dick is gonna I think the thing was, was Randall is so earnest. Chilling did he really yeah, okay? We're the only Asian show. Yeah, it's important that like I don't just play that one lane

25:22 No, I'm not going to hit you with that. All right. No, but yeah, exactly. moment for like Asian kids yeah remember Jet Li and Aaliyah if you could have But there's a few white dudes that want to fuck that chick on that show. Yeah. That is a weird thing, though, right? And it's just not my job to be judge and jury with shorties and white dudes. Tight in college.

28:11 Yeah, that's a perfect ass white girl if you don't know what P-A-W-G means. then we talked about it for like an hour afterwards like you don't ever see that on any other Then all of a sudden, like six weeks, there's a gap in photos, It's like, a girl can get her butt big by working out. a solution to that yet. Exactly. Yeah, he got chest implants I feel like Fat Jew

30:03 Yeah, he sends me photos like this, dude. It's a turkey. He cut out a hole and just put his balls in the middle. That's basically a turkey with his balls poking out of the hole. It's a turkey. He was in this rap group, Team Facelift. through all that we didn't like that only because we didn't start airing Yeah. Yeah, we finished it. don't happen and then it happened i was like well they occasionally happen yeah yeah yeah yeah i

32:53 It helps if you believe it. But if you don't believe, good luck. and I think it's because everyone, Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that. I mean, he's actually pretty fucking cool in person. pesci fucking sign me up that's what i want to be an asian joe joe pesci goodfellas or joe pesci Hmm, and then they came up with the idea. They told me I was playing ball when Melvin called me and was like.

35:39 I got a cousin Alan or something, but. That's great. And I was like, well, what do you want to do? Because if he goes and does that now, This is the world of the internet. This is day and age. Do I have to apologize? He's a good kid. I cannot recall. I'm not on that. You fucked up. Uncle Joe wants her to watch the show first. There's not a guy alive who's ever complained about a girl brushing her tits up against him.

38:29 Like, always came done up. She was wearing heels. Looked and it was just peach fuzz and bear and I was oh to I like to read super progressive websites where they're just out of their working now we all got to share but then when you just have rules of like don't do this and don't She's raping him, which is fucking hilarious! Which is, first of all, it's rude towards women

41:27 And they're like, God, I don't want someone to fuck me, but I don't want this idiot to throw a few shots back. But, like, adults, man, like like who's having sex without drinking seriously that's a good like without some I would get crazy locked jaw and dry mouth with coffee sex. Green tea? Nothing is safe these days. and you guys really think i thought we should ask the twitters and just don't ask twitter anything

43:34 it's like, you know, people take offense to that stuff now. Yeah. I shouldn't put myself first. girl oh his wife yeah now well she was Well, seeing it laid out like that, it's very dark. Do you need to be ringside or courtside that fucking bad? Yeah, you got voodoo. I don't know if you read about it. Have you ever seen how he does everything too? He's got a video.

46:05 Right, to stay sane. The guy told me it would be around long after my death. If I'm typing something, I have my scissors here, because I have arrows and all kinds of things. any of that shit like like an old, old record of his. he's near a staircase. And I saw on the wall once a nude by Rubens, off the canvas. that deals in offbeat things. much when I want to be. And I waited there.

50:23 but I know what I like. He was doing an interview with someone, and he talked about Spanish fly. No, no, no. But to have Cosby sit down if he ever did come clean Then I start to think like you have self-, so it can't be an impulse thing. Yeah. where he talked about Did you get paid? I always say that Sam Kinison was the greatest for one year. to hide yeah well he was a unique unique talent man very unique guy and you know he also was like

54:36 to put your brain back in 1981 because it was just a different time the world was young it was it was Did you think about doing it? But there's a huge difference in the people we're going to reach with this show and my Vice show. It was the name of the book it on abc because i was like we can't go out with Far East Orlando. Dreams works. Yeah. In Orlando?

57:11 speak english at home so my english is learned so in a way i think it's you choose the way you talk It formed. you get that fucked up when you go to Atlanta I get fucked up in Atlanta Nobody knows. We got to chill. Like half a bottle type of thing? Yeah, it's like drinking Robitussin in middle school or high school like I would just drink Robitussin fun. Really? Yeah

1:00:21 was like 26 i think something i'm not sure he's think. I'm not sure. He's a kid. I'm not sure, man. That's fucking young. That's a thing with the youth today, though. But now you start to see people pass it. good night Wow oh my god yeah we were in Boston two weeks ago and there was this face plant and just catch himself we watched him like five minutes my friend was like rescue him

1:02:38 i would get really depressed when i smoked like it would just make me depressed and i was like this That's like where paranoia comes from. I marinated in it. Oh, yeah. metabolite it's four to five times more psychoactive than thc but it's a totally because if I eat, I bug. I know dudes who go deep. ate i ate an indica beef jerky and i ate the whole jerky myself was supposed to be dosed between like

1:05:54 Yeah, I was like, if I stop, I'm going to die. Whoa! Dude, he was like a fill the rest with vodka and scissor, I forget the name of it, slight alcohol taste to it but good lord yeah make some fucking poor decisions after you drink that He was doing the crazy lights out dance. Thanks so much. Thanks for being on the show. Yeah, I hung out with him before the show.

1:08:59 That's amazing. Yeah. like hollywood movies probably the most controversial it's right up there with passion You pick on the Muslims and they do dark shit. because at the end of the day, anybody that is angry to the point where they want to kill someone for satire is in the wrong. Well, I'm not a in a teddy bear outfit and then they put him inside a truck he was talking from inside a

1:12:54 If I saw it and it was as funny as, like, Team America, I would say, yeah. The interview is not nuanced like that. you've got to have a real solid legitimate point to what you're doing. And that's one of the deepest, right? see if they, I don't know. The Charlie Hebdo thing is strange because what, what was really instead of like, hey, so what? for drawing something, period.

1:16:07 what do you do I mean how do you keep joining Isis right and people keep more unsuccessful than they are successful like think about it this way joe like their lives just this is it cops imagine if cops were using drones we wouldn't fucking accept thing and saying, these people feel oppressed. We've killed, you know, who knows why they're this sort of a radical fundamentalist, it's, you can't turn that around.

1:19:17 Oh, no, man. And then the one thing you have is religion. Kill a million innocent people in Iraq. in selling arms in the military mean the idea that you know the one thing is like hey you know we got rid of a dictator yeah we a shitload of oil yeah like i'm against fracking but if it can create middle east peace like maybe I had this guy, Randall Carlson, on my podcast, and he's going to be on again soon.

1:23:02 Yeah, I mean, we could debate this forever. They believe it was caused by asteroidal impacts around 12,000 years ago. Like it hasn't even begun. But he's saying this is not – look, everyone's like the debate is settled. He's like the debate hasn't even begun. Like it hasn't even begun. The sky is perpetually dark gray. He said that's ancient structures that are totally unexplained like there's some ancient structures from pre

1:25:22 Gobekli Tepe, they found for sure 12,000 years old. So this guy, Randall Carlson, And so they think that somewhere around 12,000 years ago, we were just hit. Life's really too short, fam know life's really too short fam She puts her feet up. I mean, not just beautiful for 50. So whether you get hit by an asteroid or global cooling or global warming or...

1:28:06 Well, you're a fun dude. I'm not interested. Yeah. it's fucking dope that probably would have been playing other professional sports like baseball or basketball Yeah. I'm like, talented you're you will get fucked up well i mean if he dedicated his whole life to it I mean Like, Critter's going to break Joe. because of the story that he told on his podcast.

1:30:50 Instead of actually getting upset, they're waiting to get upset. versus left-wing side yeah it was I was like, this is fucking crazy. Like, okay, really? a three day old embryo and the head of a pin. you know, It's not. well not only that like does a woman even have a right to tell a woman what she can and can't do really test my intellectual and and like reasonableness right that would really yeah put

1:35:19 which is always when you know that they're falling apart in a debate You know, it's a fucking real, like there's no black and white there. Like, I just don't feel like I got the fucking facts for that one, kid. and also yeah people hold it as like a badge of honor I defend this no matter know and like i people were calling me and asking me and they're like you're an asian man too do you

1:37:42 You know? and you'd imagine being this poor woman who's a massage therapist, I mean, what's up with that? I mean, if somebody gives me the Asian Joe Pesci rule and I have to force Ginger to suck my dick, I'm going to be morally compromised. No. She goes, well, why didn't we have sex? That's the shorty that, like, fucks everybody. Well, it's a great bit.

1:40:34 get on her knees and she wanted you to grab the back of her head and like face fuck her i'm so Yeah, it's a social structural thing, though. think oh i have a friend no not jamie but i have a friend who likes getting tied up man he likes men who wish there were women. There's women There's no normal. sometimes like things are just happening and, and women like feel awful about it afterwards, but they didn't know how to stop it when it was going on. So the idea being that a guy has to say

1:42:58 Yes. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa. The easy pass. That's a go. were like can i touch your leg i'd be like just this area here you know only an inch above my a stall and he said we never talked he goes it was one of the greatest nights They fucked. No, I mean, pretty much every girl, I mean, It's not the way. There's people that are fucking complete sociopaths that have done all kinds of psychedelics.

1:46:29 on everybody, man. Humans are just And in order for innovation and culture and society to exist, it almost seems like everybody has to play this very weird, unique role. to be weird myself. Yeah, or if your desires like require somebody else to be victimized like then that's right what someone does? It's a big world. You live in one of those old apartments that have squeaky floors.

1:48:23 Why is that? Is that Brooklyn? How long have you been down here for? Yeah. that's what you do. you know, with Connie Corleone And some people, they freak out when they go to the country. like I had issues with relationships based on not just my parents, but they would fucking scream at each other so hardcore don't do it. and then close the door, and they were younger than me

1:51:08 Yeah. My dad smacked the shit out of my mother in front of the kitchen, It wasn't like I had to explain everything. and the other one's bad. you know, who still fights with his wife and his wife threw a fucking like, this is WWF in the crib. I got a friend who still fights with his wife. They were watching a movie together. That's a new move. That's the cornholio.

1:53:11 I go, that turns you on? Yeah. I don't want anybody yelling at me. Yeah. I'm around. Thank you, man. Death Squad. He's here. We're doing it more often,G. Mr. Eddie H-U-A-N-G. Much love, my friend. Death Squad.