Joe Rogan Experience #61 — Cliffy B Transcript

Transcript

0:00 music and then you know edited but no we don't even fucking feel alive and dirty it is dirty Do you play this? We started getting into good subjects. So, earlier you were talking about hide your kids, hide your wife. Cliff Blazinski. Yeah, thank you has a habit of basically going around to it This is a sponsor of our podcast. Look at this, dripping with water.

2:42 Stop it. You enter in the code word Rogan. He's actually a design director now. We've got Boltstorm coming out. It's kind of like that meets Duke Nukem. Yeah. What is it? First release is It used to be patches Wow I'm getting an update Man, I started out with Windows 95, somehow or another, Zip drive It's big fucking brick It was just chaos. and he's a billionaire now.

5:24 You're like, damn, I've got to upgrade this. I think technology is moving at such a fucking insane rate. in my lifetime, I agree. I'm sorry, Like, okay, so now I use Amazon, but if I can actually have a fabricator in my house to build whatever you want out of it. It's just unbelievable. this kind of dust that they're able to sprinkle out in the battlefield.

7:23 You combine where technology is going with the connectivity we have in the world Think about how much sand you get in your shoes when you go to the beach. Yeah, when they talk about clones, I'm like, by the time they tell you they've cloned a person, Axe Body Spray on chimps, Yeah, whatever gets the job done. Fuck yeah, I do. You're not just plugging them.

9:03 Yeah, but you stink, though. All right. it's good for you guys gets you out of submissions easier jiu-jitsu guys more because what they do is You look it up on YouTube, man. with a gun, most likely they're going to fucking shoot you, right? You don't know what to do. and was just swinging his hands. And as the car got in front of me, because people were trying to get out of this parking lot while this fight was going on.

11:22 It was on sunset. Seeing it in person, getting a huge amount of respect for the fighters There's too many ugly, angry women and dudes are pissed. in town that's good hide behind people man notice notice when the shit's about to hit the fan and It's not attractive. where a lot of people do. and he moves like he actually knows how to fight There's assholes that do everything.

13:42 a lot of that's pre-fight hype like outside of that he's. You see a lot of those guys beat the shit out of each other, they drop it as soon as the fight's over. I don't know what it is, that's a joke. And by the way, I'm not the only one who said this. and this was 1997. It was almost like I was doing Girls Gone Wild or something. Oh, I see what you're saying.

15:38 Yeah, no, it wasn't negative. And that needs to sink into people's head. Not necessarily a lot. You can look all this up. with a lot of lawsuits and everything like that. The large studio Activision, basically, from what I can tell, again, this is secondhand are, but you're increasingly seeing they've got deals now and they're making amazing games Oh, yeah.

17:52 when I'm around them, Yeah, same sort of thing. a day, code. mona lisa and then just painting over it right like yes but he just doesn't have no reverence this john romero guy was like the play to the story, this John Romero guy They did Anachronox and Daikatana. Is it the game designers, the guy with the vision, or is it the coder? Is it the drummers?

19:53 Well, he's gone on and he's doing some cool stuff now, man. fucking dope games. Doom. Just stupid, crazy and they're just barely working, man. that was with idos's money this is basically the lara croft tomb raider paying for this right about having panic attacks working in Dallas and build every last little bit of it, right? Like you get a producer who knows his shit and it's kind of like, OK, we're not just

21:46 a little bit of wiggle room who don't understand Remember? That's smart. Even though it was a long time, it was a fun game to play, man. They had some cool shit. was the rail gun. No, no. It was much more chaotic. Team deathmatch. but the thing about Halo is Halo... Gold and I did it before that. We talk about vampires on the way over. Now they're 16?

24:39 you might be good to go. He's holding one up. It's like aim, especially when the railgun came about. One of the things that Halo did was they kind of introduced The whole generation loves it right now. That's what it was different ones for the rocket launcher. that are perfectly fine with those consoles, Look at Kinect. Dude, the key is always. That's what the Microsoft thing is, right? Isn't me. Is that what's going to happen? Is it going to be like aiming with your fingers and shit? Like pointing where you want to go? That might be where... Dude, the key is always...

27:13 And you stand in front of it and move around, I guess? Dance Central, which is a ton of fun. I was playing it with my niece over the holidays. where you walk in and you're all sitting there in the video game. some new technology It's like he's doing a desk So he's watching their reaction. I mean, talk about Jerry Seinfeld's comedian and how much comedy.

29:14 It's all iteration. It's still relevant, but just sit there and do that. I don't want to be like, you want to lay back like an idiot, right? That's one of the cool things. If I could sit here and go like this though, like Tron style and just move my hands like to lay back and just sit there with the controller and just play yeah right you don't have to jump around like an idiot right that's what i can say

30:27 most people, parents, like your average person... We have this whole theory that there's a certain Because a bunch of other people have it, and they just imitate it. Jesus Christ. What a monster sound and she was just hideous and he's just fucking swinging it I got a buddy money dated a girl from Long The local farm stand I robbed as a kid is this now national thing.

32:00 And I'm sitting there, and there's something about certain sections of the Northeast that just kind of take something out of you. Too much comfort Italian food? I grew up, and I do a paper route as a kid, right? Am I calling for a refill? Yep. And we come up and this thing heated like two square feet of the whole house. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about, Hooker?

34:25 with the blazing hot coal. and get a goddamn heater. I didn't know anybody Well, no. And we had to share a lot of shit. And I realize the towel smells like ass. This dirty motherfucker. of that in a million years have you seen that that's like a great line your kid's a genius it's I have it in my bathroom. Yes, I gave up on it. rear naked choke the controller wrong.

36:58 They don't just lay It was amazing that season. Who's Peter Weller? and drop it. chance watch walking dead no but i've heard that's pretty awesome too it's the end was a want Epic to make the game. There's the occasional exception that's a good one, Oh, yeah. And it sold like five. I guess they couldn't find somebody... Well, people think it's an urban legend,

38:56 over the course of a month. and it had made one a few years ago that wasn't as good. You have to try. No, no, no. How much effort you put into your stroke. You don't understand. No, no, it's Disney, so. It's a movie? That fucking commercial was awesome. when I was going through a really tough time. I would have snapped you out of it. I find it kind of funny,

40:52 when it came out. that I played with but that fucking thing was driving me crazy. Get this away from me. Get this away from me. Oh, I like the zoom feature. in the mouse? I'm missing out on a lot of things, man. His dad. died. She fell out of a plane noise. I'm not that afraid of Yeah, look up Yeah. is talking about it is like the last one Fuck yeah, it did, dude.

44:07 like a lot of the shit you had was like demonstrations of how the flashlight... like imagine what that's going to be like. World of Warcraft every day. It gets weird. It's like, why exist? I have a feeling it's within our lifetime. For those of you that don't know fucking Avatar, man. You know? Well, you know about the whole thing about the singularity, right? Yeah, sure. Ray Kurzweil and all that, right?

45:13 Do you know what a butter dog is? he's a photographer well, there's a certain type of girl in the city their little dog with their little tongue and a little peanut butter Yeah, I'm sure there's a message board out there for girls who like to get their pussy licked by dogs. This WikiLeaks thing is fucking fascinating. They're trying to get this guy and bring him in for questioning,

47:04 I mean, the idea that this is enough Yes. I can see both sides of it. Just go to Joe Rogan. I'm surprised. And this is something that's like, Yeah. Wow. Right? they pulled it off. Hipster generation, even. Did you get a screener from somebody in LA or something? We have to get rid of currency and make it likes. bitches you really dislike cupcakes really you know you like settle down what's with the thumbs

50:32 Are you talking about like you got a button or something? Really? they busted for World of Warcraft I don't know was like one of the things As you get to a certain point, you realize there's – people often talk in the industry about kids versus adults. get that? And then I envy you, you right and then i wind up getting greed or something like that of those people.

52:43 The more powerful you are. And you keep meeting new people. the game because you're thinking there might be something coming up, right? Thankfully, I was lucky and I saw games. Okay, so it's difficult to find what that thing is. a painter, you know, there's so many, you gotta leave, catch the bus with a bunch of other douchebags, It's moments, but it sucked. So to find something

55:27 You're turning me into a robot. You're turning me into I was out in San Francisco with a buddy and he had a date for like an hour like classes that are huge because of the internet. 13-year-old girls, yeah. You had to go in the woods and find porn. and everyone has in the middle of the woods. Yeah. And it was always the girls looking like they had a Sarlacc pit down there.

57:23 Yeah, we've talked about this before, about how crazy it is, how close all this stuff is. Yeah. But now with the click of a button, you can see two girls, one cup. Yeah. Yeah. As long as that base is there, right? little daughters. And logically, pad the house up too much. And it's like, let them fall over even though it seems like shit's worse as far as, like, the economy

59:07 And we're just the old people that are just like our parents, and the world constantly keeps getting more more bizarre. each other right now You take some kid from 1963, you can talk him into anything. was doing an interview where he was saying, I have to go and talk to the professor? Yeah, well, there's, yeah. The Egyptians, or a John Carmack. Yeah. Right?

1:01:16 to be able to discern between bullshit and reality in the real world you need to be able to discern Oh, yeah. And then there was the urban legend Right? Turns out the lobster had planted a bunch of eggs in her, She stuck it in her pussy, right? going towards where we're going to be in a bubble will actually do pretty well. is that we all are just admitting.

1:03:20 and the ability to track you Nobody knows anybody else involved with it, though, right? sucks. You're not getting me again. I'm not going to I'm not paying attention. They're going to know, all these other nations are going to know what kind of shit we talked about. And you'd hope somebody information and stuff available different sites that had illegal shit.

1:05:33 Yeah. For people who don't know, it's like when you're downloading, say if you're getting a movie, you're not getting it from one person. betting on 3d so much right now right it's like okay what are we doing what are we gonna actually that in my house in 3D. Or a dope movie, something towards is like walls of Do you think that they can do that eventually? They'll be able

1:07:37 Was it in Austin? it was incredible. like a mental boner somebody's never seen before when I read about that movie I'm like Not reenaction, recreation of trying to make it in 3D. The key is to get people Right, right. That was the stonest conversation right? And I'm like, what is this? Oh, we got to keep pushing forward, right? You know? We're going to live in pods.

1:10:51 Unabomber style? Stupid. And be immortal You have all the money It's not real. Imagination is some sort of energy process it light. It becomes a computer. It becomes a microphone. And this is eventually got to interface and becomes a part of you. You and this operating system connect We leave meat space. and we still bury people you need to burn them

1:13:46 You gotta burn him. The Hollywood Cemetery. Yeah, it's awesome. and stuff? No, there's probably that has a Twitter hashtag Oh, yeah. and it's weird. It's trippy. Yeah. And so we have a generation right now that wants to interact 24-7. It's not just enough to sit down and watch something. each other out because now we have better technology so we know where to drive better

1:16:52 You're at the point where you can feel the tug of your phone in your pocket sometimes. That's incredibly addictive. Just wanting to know what's going on Mac, you don't. I love it about anything it's like being a person Yeah. Did you put it up for you? Just watch for cables. that's 99 cents right now There's a game that you can get on your iPhone. making it for iPads, they're making it for

1:19:25 just take a name this number died but he sucks with numbers. he destroyed like i said this on the podcast he i watch him destroy rooms like people just howling how he does his comedy what if he had a water bed on stage and just laid back in a water bed and and they're just hanging out laying there. Most girls are not funny. I mean, Esther's funny. They can't talk about as many things

1:22:11 That's who she really is. they're on stage, unless they're as extreme as, say, Men don't want to hear you talking about, what the fuck him that's making a lot of sense, that's Yeah, it's ingrained. especially if you're shitty at relationships, That this is the angle. and one it works and the other one for about five seconds on cable Oh, fair enough.

1:24:42 Yeah, I don't want to bring up old... Wait, what did I miss about... Yeah, I got a couple dogs. Oh, you should have Jesus, I'm a buck 50. they're more little shits. He's so sweet to everybody. I don't need to go over old stuff. Look at the fox. that it was smaller because then i knew it was real you know i'm saying'm saying? Like I expected if I'm going to see a mountain lion,

1:26:58 and just kill things all day? But they would get in and they would shit all over the place. Dude, I had a chance. right and then there was another one that was just pacing the cage the cage and when she saw They're one of the few animals that you can successfully domesticate them. and shit. She wasn't allowed Whoa, that's crazy. back when we were subhuman hominoids.

1:29:27 of the leg, a little bit of the tail, and you're imagining, like, what that this thing is super fucking intelligent, really fast, gigantic, super resourceful, very crafty and sneaky. I'm telling them Everyone's just running around blown-out porno, right? down he's like i want to see a fucking mac versus an alien yeah there's a certain point in creativity

1:31:06 I can't like why didn't they just to find birds bird ever is the african gray the most evil bird you ever see a shoe bill no there's a congo dinosaurs had feathers. What is your threshold Yeah, it's just so easy. of racial porn being sold in the South, right? to turn you into somebody And if you do, then you could wind up with a fan for life, right?

1:33:12 There's that, but why are they angry? There's people like Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian You know, like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I mean, it's just like, oh, you know, you just want to be famous, so you are, right? those things like if you sit there like i would say like porn is like on the internet it's like a you can just go on there and it's like an infinite amount of girls and you're like

1:35:18 Thing hung out and then he finds a video over on some random internet site doing some bad cheerleader porn to. Imagine the mix of feelings I blame Joe Francis. I mean, you really realize that it is very much a business. Test, test. Like, well, I'm looking at the last two years, and according to this, movies with well, great. You know, we have a really good script. You know,

1:37:16 they're going to tear us limb from limb. that are in it. where he's doing a wacky sport, right? So, I mean, we're kind of redoubling it, as possible. I would like CG people, on over a two-hour movie. It's not going to work. You've got to go But your guys are so jacked. When I've seen him, he was short. Maybe it was dude it's more about charisma We want that big fucking crazy CGI.

1:39:46 jacked, and his head's extra super wide everything at all exist in the same world. How much did it cost You should have like sitcoms yeah you know it was a terrible movie It was really recent. They're getting at the point where they can kind of track your body and then kind of CG I'm dying to see the film man He's probably scary from the... His shit's just breaking left and right.

1:41:59 The loneliness, right? Well, it's also the partying, man. where it's five European cities in five days, and that just wrecks me. do whatever. In a different city Most of the time, what I do with comedy is I go out on the weekends, and then I come home. Oh, God. It was weird. It's fun. Because when you don't know where the hell you are and you've But it's a hotel room.

1:44:21 Always check. you know what the problem was, I was on like 14th, I think. They're at that threshold, right? And they were moving slow as shit. Like 3 in the morning? It was a woman talking because while she was talking, attention. But it wasn't. I hate your face. It was a woman. It was a woman talking that the fucking building's on fire. The cake is a lie.

1:46:04 Like, no, no, it's on the 12th floor now we need to get I would have been like, get me off of this. I mean, Brian and Ralphie barely sat in a couch together. the beginning of the 18th century or the 19th century. It's moving, but it's also the average American diet. Get them young. That's the only thing you know. Can I go to a restaurant and get a half portion, please?

1:48:29 a shitty fix to a problem She's a drunk slut. Don't do that. stories where like, no dude, he went to Jack in the kind of, totally different kind of craziness. it's very strange that you can't rewire your brain to recognize that. Why is it? five feet high with her goat paths we'd have to navigate. Clearly not. One thing is just smell. Have you ever watched Borders?

1:51:08 Maybe, No, she had a lot of money you're constantly worried no, you're going to finish that? so she had all these fucking cans hospital and they were like you know maybe she's got 72 hours maybe she lived 12 years wow 12 that this person it was a cop through the fucking plaster that smell does not go away right it's in the wall board yeah it's Rupert Sheldrake, who's an evolutionary biologist,

1:53:10 why you can come into certain buildings For sure, right? and no one even has to tell them As far as, there's this awesome game, System Shock 2. You just saw the last, You know, Ellie and the kids, forgive me. You brought it back to gaming right there. Yep, exactly. Those people didn't charge anything for that game. Yeah. 99-cent eagle this whole new Christmas pack.

1:55:28 but it's such a well-designed game That's the way to go. right? That are just well-maintained. Smaller, well-maintained, personal. You're taking these At the same time, facebook i'm like wait a minute where's my password going how do you know what's going on It already did, dude. fine, whatever, and then you're like, bam, There's a story on so that you can move on.

1:57:51 You're like, what is this dude's deal? She's like traveling all over the country trying to find you. I think it was about a year ago, Of so many diseases and everything like that, from space from the space station like somehow they hooked up you know he's an internet connection people i forgot they compile it on the huffington post once in a while you just look at it just

1:59:56 to get this press conference or this It's not disproven Really? Just out of nowhere? They're pretty sure. That didn't turn out very well. If not you. who have the money are the people who put up the money and those are the people that make all the Hypothetically, I knew at an early age that by doing the PR and being able to have a little bit of a theater background and go on stage, this stuff would get me a certain amount of leverage.

2:02:40 why fuck with it for something that may or may not It seems like there's no reason yet, is there? would it pass the mom test? Right? What do you think Yeah. Is it ever going to come to a time where that's easier to do than it is now? There's ways that you can procedurally create content, right? Like Will Wright did Spore, where like a lot of the, building it, creating it? I mean, will there be tools that will be so effective? There's ways that you can procedurally create content, right?

2:03:59 and just generate 50 types of wood for me That's the billion-dollar question. For free. Actually, never really knew that. Yes. But he's a cool guy, great Dutch dude. Figure out what you're good at and work your ass off right uh so have you been playing that at all i heard that it's the first pc game i paid money it's embedded so it's not even shaft

2:06:30 Right. and you have to eventually figure out about doing something with it. working with valve right the guy did limbo the team into the limbo they were Yeah. Spell that? I've seen some old ones done with old game having wives and stuff You hire two high school kids That's the beauty input that they have today. Like you know I'm so used to it And banged her head on it

2:09:07 No. Yeah. It's only an inch long. or is she gonna let me stick like crazy glue in there and glue it together? My point is that I'm so used to trauma. I've seen so many dudes just get fucking flatlined. to absolutely not normal. he's very intelligent, very aware fights for the fans yeah but it's very dangerous for you it's very dangerous for your your long

2:11:17 direction as far as coaching. They'll take direction and then you try to coach him, it's like, you know, good luck. Yeah, I imagine you want to be surgical about it, right? And that's the intelligent part about it. But I had this exact conversation with a guy named John Donaher, to be doing in order to apply damage but take little in return. And when you take unnecessary risks and you do something in an unsmart manner, you're

2:13:23 You want to face plant to the rocks? Of course not. But we were talking about Well, that's a good question, man. first and foremost, right? That kind of thing, right? Or anything. You can't like program society for the lowest common denominator and that's what you're doing if you're if you're comedically where you're running over a hooker or something like that right it's all people if

2:15:57 That's the thing. in order to get access to. There's multiple It is viewed by the ESRB. sex-type quests in it, but there was... This is the end. The real Cliffy B on Twitter. Anything else? And dude, come to town once more than once every five years. Yeah. fucking hecklers. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, of dried fish and some rainwater Thank you very much.

2:21:55 Thank you very much for tuning in, Good for you.