Joe Rogan Experience #617 — Brian Regan Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. When I'm working with people, I'm going to start asking them to go with that intro. I want a long commute. Yeah, the residencies are very strange because they're intriguing in some way. He just has to stay there and he just kind of like does his show there. Out there like when you're on tour you're out there. You know you're in

2:42 Yeah. on there. If I did a residency, I would put a billboard right next to that. Best 1005 And Las Vegas is kind of like a hodgepodge of people like from all over. So the Las Vegas Review Journal always has to say, well, these are great choices, but Like a Kraft steak or a strip steak, the places in MGM and Mandalay Bay, or Nine at the Palms. They got a happy hour there.

5:28 Hannibal Burress was in town and texted me. So I couldn't find any boxing matches. I didn't know until we were walking in when I saw that cage. It was so much different than what, I mean, I've only seen like little, You know, it's more interesting than I think, somebody who's not a fan wouldn't realize Yes. and looking at each other and figuring out, well, what's this guy?

7:51 You know, because I was nowhere near you. Russell Peters. You know, if you live in Vegas, you pay no state taxes, right? You don't even know? It goes from 8 to 7, depending on where you live eight to set goes down around i mean it goes anywhere we're up to 10 but average it's around Yeah. I mean, it's it's amazing. Whenever I'm flying home, flights are usually packed. People want to go to Las Vegas. So they're bringing, you know, most people are not going to win, you know, So money just keeps coming into that town.

10:12 And that was like a selling point. say that? That's not true. Because it's just like, you know, there's like a house advantage, you know, like the house guaranteed money for the casino. the line these players realized that the dealer had forgot to shuffle and so they I don't understand in my head, why right? I think he got Like, wait a minute, if I lose, you're cool with that.

13:10 fountains that you're passing they're shooting water a hundred feet into the sky a beautiful show So his friend put a cup of black coffee down on the green felt, right? cheating. The counting thing being cheating Well, of course. You hit it as hard as you should for 148 yards and that's bullshit yeah yeah you're not But I think you should be able to count cards.

15:48 You have to count every card. because Craps is just like fucking chaos. there and I was like confused so like a moron I I yelled to the dealer to explain to him that he should be taking my money. What was wrong with what you were doing? Take it away. You can cum? You know, like there's certain games that like used to be like super popular with the he likes about craps is no one knows what the hell's going on you know everyone just concedes that no one knows what the hell's going on richard jenny has an album that just

19:29 That one bummed me out a lot. That one hit me hard because when I was a kid, he was a big influence. He was one of And when he died, it just bummed me out. And it's hard to know whether it was a career related depression or just something so much thing that people have difficulty understanding. I don't, I don't understand it. Yeah. He was about how much he loved it and this and that.

22:31 I'm glad you appreciate it. the show, and he was one of them. That's how I felt when I met him, too. in this way that you would think was funny. So you would see like what what was so funny about this crazy tragedy or ridiculousness of it in his life And I used to feel bad for Robin Williams whenever he was doing little interviews, whether it was on the local level, you know, or promoing a movie.

25:17 I felt like he felt he had to have not having to be funny. Yeah. It's a fucking, man. I've been on, all right, And he just rolls his eyes and walks out of the room in disgust. like I set the guy up on All right, so I'm in the radio station. And he went, ha, ha, we'll be back after this. either wanted to be comedians they didn't have the balls to do it or

28:49 That was never my skill set. I don't want to hurt anybody and I don't want to be into those awkward situations. see how this works go ahead we're gonna do a play yeah exactly like we're doing an improvised play in getting into it. that was crazy was the guy was explaining to me that it has built-in cellular connection for wi-fi I've got an iPhone. the phone becomes your radio through Bluetooth.

31:44 It was my phone. It was my phone. A few months ago you didn't know that your fucking car can ring? But I didn't know how to answer it. I just kept, I was looking at the steering wheel and I saw a little thing that said, Some cars, like really like high-end cars, it almost sounds like you're talking to someone Is it normal to you now? So usually I don't even have that on.

33:54 Yeah, okay. That's why I need red lights. like, I got five more pages left till I get there. And I was like, wow, that's amazing. You can actually change it. I'm going that way. just rented was amazing because the They're virtual. A lot of cars are doing that now. Like, you know, there's a button, like, take me to Helium to the phone. Like, fuck this navigation

37:19 And they take out the screen and they put in, like, an iPad in it. Yeah. You can make hotspots. all that is integrated into the screen use of the phone bluetooth this that the other thing like Right. Did you sleep a minute last night? Like when you're grabbing on the steering wheel, it should have your heart rate already displayed. Like, they'll tell you your sleep cycle.

39:35 that stuff in and and you you know you look at like your life it's like you can look at your being analyzed by a computer. I thought that was amazing, though. That is pretty cool. You know, it seems like technology, Every single thing, you know, it's like, why is there Why don't you just plug You want to blow your fucking brains out? heat it's fucking crazy you do it from your phone when you're not even there i have i have something like that smartthings.com this is uh one ces uh best new whatever the fuck it is best app just some some

42:36 I'm setting up my whole house with this. And they start wake up because it's got and another eight you're And you have no recollection. But yeah, it's weird. sheets and it it chills you down to like it chills your body like it's it's very cold like you're penguins waddling out of here it's ridiculous like he takes his AC and he cranks it to the bottom he will take it

45:47 Yeah. people have worked on but i don't think they totally understand what's going on during sleep So it's either going to take place while you're sleeping You will die if you don't get enough sleep. Well, I have work-related dreams sometimes. And although I know like externally, I know like, A bunch of people hate to see you. Any little weird thing that you might have in the back of your head that could possibly go wrong,

48:53 I don't know why those are the dreams. I mean, you know what I mean? It's not part of my, maybe a little bit, but not to the degree that it happens in my dreams. It was trusting a gentle breeze. like a balloon very gently That's so strange. Those are two big ones. The other one is sex. Yeah, what is that? What happened? What'd you just do? Yeah Was it only on my side?

52:21 like what does it look like it's a uh hotel that's really, really tall, and the elevator is really fast. And you're flying up and down like Tower of Terror. elevator. Which sounds, yeah, California Adventures, whatever the fuck it is. And you get on this elevator, and it tells you this story. It shows you, it's Tower of Terror. It said California Great Adventure. Huh. Or California Adventures, whatever the fuck it is.

53:47 Yeah, your ass comes off the seat. What if dreams are the real world and this is the actual fake world? There's no, no one has any idea what the fuck is going on when you close your eyes. But at the end of the day, it's a lot of fucking speculating. The only way things can be real is if you can measure them and weigh them and put them in a box and carry them around.

55:47 It's just you don't, there's no solid things there. where I'm trying to decide if it's real or not, Saturday it is a weird world, the world of dreams. I'm going, darn it, now it's all crowded up here, man. dreams you can control those dreams and that you could navigate and create things that happen in Like every time you walk through a doorway, go, am I dreaming?

58:23 I did it once. He reads all the books and he practices it all the time hmm. I remember talking to somebody years ago This is the right she could come back into her body. Was this while doesn't mean you're not having that actual experience. and measure it with a tape ruler ruler it's not real i i'm But, like, right past that is this bizarre skull and muscle thing.

1:01:23 I know you, I know your personality, but but deep in your head there's this bunch of weird synapses do you you know it's you're confusing me i I remember we were at the Brea Improv, and Joan Rivers, rest her soul, Like everything was like pushed up and filled and frozen. Shaving your beard? That's true. you're not seeing it it's like it's like you're talking to him through a really thickly tinted

1:05:25 thing recently like uh this was like a day before the the oscars that uh he got he was at a gym at You're right. You never know. It was, I mean, the guy was just saying it was odd to talk to John, but it's a non-story. a story. Every time you said hi to someone at the gym. And I said, I'm going to Chuckles. So, like, if anybody gets into an elevator with a celebrity, they will tell that story for the rest of their life.

1:08:31 know what happened but he wrote this long crazy post on this message board about what a douchebag so that like so you you responded in a way and then he uh and then he apologized it was a message But in his version of a slight, it was as minor as it gets. I like what kind of mailbox you got in Bel Air you fucking cunt It's always the same three people, too.

1:10:57 Absolutely. So I'm in the elevator with him, this guy. no, I shouldn't, I should have corrected that. You know what I mean? And he goes, yeah, there's probably not a day goes by that I don't yell and you. And I'm don't know what he's talking about. You just, for whatever reason, start talking to someone, And you! You're like, hey, we're going to be partying.

1:13:27 And she's like, what the fuck? And you, and you go, all right, I got to tell you, that ain't the joke. And you're actually further than that. neighbors and now I live in one of those condo kind of deals. When I lived in L.A., there was just a disproportionate amount of conversations about auditions that people went to and what they're up for and how they feel about an agent or this or that.

1:16:20 any sort of environment like hollywood where it's just so based on one industry Right. I was doing the late show. I don't know what to say. Like I was stuck in this fucking hallway talking to this guy. There They're going to pay him this amount of money. I don't even think he's a bullshit artist. right away that we're on even ground so that's where this you know if he was

1:19:04 You know, it like comes out of me that, that needs to participate, you know, it, it, it like comes out You know, this person has the wrong idea of what I do, you know, or where I'm at. the first words that I said this guy never met him before his first words he Good luck. Correct him, but I was like it was taken aback by how's your career? Hey, like a guy did it to me at CVS once.

1:21:46 You got to stay until your shift's over. But he didn't think it out. felt pretty good. We're talking about 10 years ago. Yeah. You know, I I like the challenge of it, but it's it's so different from doing an hour set, especially an hour set in front of people who, you know, they're there to see what you do. People think of comedy as knocking down the pins.

1:24:55 something and set up something and then start getting people into that and it's a lot more Like man, he's doing like if I was in my own head And then they think that your first few words are reasonable enough to allow you a certain amount of access to their funny thought. guy? You know, they're usually trying to be friendly. They want to like you. So your first

1:27:10 But I think it's best to go out there assuming that it might get nothing or a little laugh. and they'll go out and try to rush it. And you're trying to recover. want to feel like that i want to feel like i'm learning every time i hit the stage and um that's You got to let them know. I love it, too. crowd had a great time but before every show I'm going over my notes I'm

1:29:38 Once it was done, once it was on TV, I'm done. It's so fun that you've got all this new Yeah. You don't want to fuck with it. We're honored to have him. You know, I worked there as a busboy and they let me go on late at night. And then he leaves. There's no three-by-five cards. I just, if I can change one word and make that joke 1% better, why not?

1:33:25 You know, some stuff you're pulling out and other stuff you're squeezing. or a blank computer screen and come up with stuff. I don't know how to do that. You know, go, oh, that's weird. And then you have your initial weird comedic view of it. So the inspiration I do two weekends a month and those weekends are four one-nighters. I do Thursday, Friday,

1:36:05 You know, it's a temptation to go to a surefire laugh. constantly like adding to this this sort of uh this this database of jokes and material you know Everybody thought that. but I would want it to be around my creative vision. You walk around the casinos and occasionally people will recognize you and everything like because you've earned them by traveling over and over again,

1:39:02 98 of them would not know who I am. that way? I like it. like really going on the road hard and you started moving from clubs to theaters it was all based on And then I'd heard, I mean, I don't know how many years ago you know, you've been hammering that samurai sword for fucking you know decades now bang bang there's guys and i don't want to name any names but it's sad when

1:41:52 in the theaters that you're performing in, These embers are trying to blow on and add... That's a good analogy. Yeah, I mean, that's really what it used to be that they're trying to reestablish these embers. They're trying to blow on and add. Nothing at all. And I'm like, well, I don't think there's anything better. as much fun as doing stand-up it just never will be it's just it's not it's also not nearly as much

1:43:56 I could take my mom to see you and not feel weird. What is vaudeville exactly? I'm guessing. I don't know. That's the big one. They would go to these places. Perfect example. he's like a joke, joke guy. Yeah. It takes a lot of pride in that and that's fun to watch. It's like, okay, that's like that there are different people doing different things and he's like a joke, joke guy.

1:46:12 Yeah. Carrot Top killed the prop acts. I like him. Yeah. No, I'm not criticizing it at all. Right. Did you ever get a chance to work with Otto? It's a legendary story. We see your lips moving. What does that mean? Yeah, there's no... I'm not over here, I'm over here! Did you ever watch a good comedy hypnotist? Wow. I've never sat down with a really good hypnotist and tried to be hypnotized.

1:51:23 And it was amazing. I mean, the staff-rated hypnotist. And it was amazing. It's a good question. being in the limelight and acting goofy it is possible but there were people that he would and they're open to suggestion. I I don't know I used to think it was total bullshit until I watched this guy do it over and over and over again week but I think there's some people that are just really open to suggestion.

1:53:55 your lack of belief maybe Jamie or somebody. I did a show one time out on the road, like a fill-in date. comedy hypnosis night, and people were coming up to me going, Right, and they're just waiting. You were all up here. show where I walked almost the Down in the south. front got up like you know when i had like 30 minutes left and just put their coats on i mean

1:57:29 killed him. Do you fucking know But in my opinion those are like really important because they have all the big growth moments of my early career came after I bombed The audience can play a part in whether or not you have a good set or a Like that was this weekend in Portland. It had been sold out for months. You guys, you were there. But you still get them.

2:00:17 That's a beautiful philosophy. He's like, we have energy in here. And he went on stage, transformed the—I mean, there's a video on my Instagram page of Brody. 25 or 30 people so this is this is this is a Brody on stage playing drums check this out We hear this through our headphones He gave him a fucking tambourine. He put the microphone down and started doing stand-up, just walking around, just walking around.

2:02:54 They can just free ball. I couldn't do that. It's a different kind of act. really good at that that late-night spot. Did you see it? I haven't seen it, but I hear it's good. up as something that he Tough business. Because people, their egos are so blown out of proportion, you want to shoot them down. they are a justifiable target. This fucking movie won the Academy Award you cunt but that's death people there's a lot of

2:06:53 They're going to throw their little negativity out there. You know they go back to their shitbag job on Monday morning, some place that they hate where nobody likes them. have to earn your voice. And I think that the cult of personality that comes along with celebrity, I think, is ridiculous. And, yes, now any Joe Blow can have a comment. want to confront all those different people that can talk to you you'll waste your entire life

2:09:30 Brian Regan where they never could before. People can reach, you know, someone and make fun of their they're their ideas resonating with people they have a vehicle that never This is a new thing man Where the ability to communicate with people is unprecedented. They're not really considering it. Things are going to get real weird over the next few years, real weird. They're not going to be able to express emotions to you without even knowing you, without being around you. Things are going to get real weird over the next few years.

2:12:20 Brian Regan comic on Twitter. I'm not saying it's bad. Fuck the UFC. From your conversation, I might need to adjust my way of doing it. My way is probably ridiculous. Always a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Brian Regan, ladies and gentlemen, Dolby Theater, Los Angeles, California, Saturday night.