Joe Rogan Experience #626 — Trevor Moore Transcript

Transcript

0:00 The Joe Rogan Experience. That's insane. Like a pound, maybe? It looks like like an exhaust for a very small car Yours has a weird tone to it. Yours doesn't have as much smoke either. Well, I've been doing this since 2007. But when I started, you had to get them from England. Yeah, I don't know if it was they were just being like, you know over cautious or whatever

3:32 It's all fruit flavors. Does it say custom or custard? This is the test. I think he calls it a memoir of it had an adverse effect on his writing. He felt like his synapses didn't fire up as well. And I Cancer eats off. And the other diseases are attacking the fucked up parts of your body. It's not AIDS. I don't know. He's fine. don't think it's a death sentence at all anymore. I mean, it's a testament to science, these protease

7:26 And he's actually a biologist at the University of California, Berkeley. No credible scientists support him. And apparently he's done tremendous work with cancer. And gay people like to party. Because he kind of brings that up. I think you know, it kind of gives like there's a whole bunch of people that think that and so it's like those things where they put

10:52 He was kind of like this huge role model and for somebody like him to come out and say I have HIV he's one of the few guys you hear the crackle, Sam Kinison. Sam Kinison had a bit about it. about magic johnson getting hiv i remember thinking oh my god everyone's gonna have aids Where it's like well There's no safety on this piece of shit. You... Yours is better.

13:59 AIDS where were we it's conspiracy theories AIDS And they actually changed the street name. where JonBenet died. Yeah, $10. I wouldn't buy it. When you see little kids with high heels and makeup where they were having one of these pageants. It was really, really weird. her nickname was bruiser because my youngest one is like super aggressive she's crazy but she's

16:38 The game starts. And then the other team scored, and she started crying because the other team was cheering. I go, if you're not enjoying it, don't do it. When you're four, you should be having fun. Honey, it's all right. Relax. I have an idea for a thing to do. in their kid being successful like i've seen kids not do well at certain sports And what's definitely not healthy is you putting everything on the line for this kid.

19:21 I mean, I don't know. We've got to get you one that doesn't make that noise. and they're eating like right into the microphone and if you're listening if you have headphones on Fucking Christ. Andy Kaufman. Right away. their own death apparently got that guy that what is his name robert uh robert durst yeah he didn't know but he disappeared and Bulger?

22:18 Go to Alberta, Canada. They'll eat everything. The ocean's probably the best. Who's going to find you? The ocean's peaceful in the day. get back to new york that's a crazy way to die man your boat tips over you're trying to scramble And in the daytime, it was beautiful. Like the ocean could just swallow Los Angeles one day with one burp slash fart of the tectonic plates.

25:02 The promenade, done. pull fucking posts have a little wave wall i was terrified in that house man i barely stayed in whenever I look at the tsunami footage and stuff, I feel like I could get away. how did you survive? They're all pussies. ever been caught in an undertow not a big one like I go surfing and stuff in I was like, this is not good. and he went, holy shit.

28:02 on top of you. Because you might get to a point where you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to have to punch this chick in the face and swim by myself because she's going to drag me under. And other people, they're just, and they can't breathe. That's some terrifying shit. No, he was just kind of tubing. And we're like, oh, wait, holy uh chris can't swim oh god so we're like going and we see that he's

30:10 No, we had people that had to swim out My friend Remy, Remy Warren, boat it's freezing cold water and then a woman uh hanging on for dear life screaming and he said And so he just dove in, and he's trying to save this woman. But if she dies, too, you're like, damn, I could have lived and just watched her die. But it never went to air because as they were filming, one of the first episodes someone they overturned

32:37 they hadn't figured out how to use the internet for trash yet. I don't, I don't, I don't, I mean, some people like, I, I've done it once. If you if you do die skydiving it's you know it's interviewed people who had actually fallen out of planes and lived. tree and and you try to hit a tree as close to the middle as possible but not the exact middle

35:26 And he's like, what happened? Skydiving. this insanely beautiful view and like you earn that view and you know you're camping it's freezing Yeah. have to carry all this stuff and it was sort of highlighting how insanely dangerous it is that just looks like he's like slumped over taking a nap and that's what happened like he was he's That's the first guy?

38:37 Like it's got to suck a little bit of the fun out of it. Mallory is the guy's name that died first, right? Poor bastard. Fucking Christ. What? Jesus Christ. The way up and there was over a hundred people on their way up the mountain. I mean it was insane there's like a one week a year or something, right? they've capitalized on two things. You know, whoa, John, I'm so much more impressed with you now.

41:30 And this family, this mother and her son, Yeah, probably like way more than anybody makes up there. They live up there. going upstairs was rough yeah these fucking people are people are like, what, 20,000 feet more even? Fuck, man. And there's this sketch show, a lot of running around, other thing. it was way back in the day. There's no fucking air up there.

44:19 They sell like tubes that you could bring with you. It's probably the same kind of thing. there lives there no you could never afford it yeah do they even have apartments i mean they It seems like it. you know if there's nobody driving on the road for like five minutes the road's gone yeah you know Can I talk to you? It was a goofy place to do comedy too

46:43 Yeah. I don't think they do either. And then I kind of, like, sort of pieced it together. You can hit a tree and then, you know. Like blue is like fairly easy, right? It's like, it was like bunny slopes. Yeah. I was like, well, blue is not bunny. Blue Just, hey, because people that are just speed that were flying by me just because people that And then we were there for, it was like a Christmas thing.

49:27 Like, yeah, go for it. 50 yards at a time without just falling. How about a double black diamond, pussy? jump too high because you're kind of going back and forth but we were um we were going over it there's not a lot of room for error there. Yeah. almost severed his leg like he hit something and tore his almost tore the meat off of his leg in this accent like

52:35 I'll show you a picture. I'll pull it up here. 40 to 100 is average? I'm off my laptop. complain about anything this guy's an animal he doesn't give a shit he's got fake meniscus you No, he just has his knee reserved. yeah it's the amazing thing is the hips they saw the top off they give you a fake hip they they Yeah. Oh, look at it. It'd be beautiful.

55:37 Yeah, right there. How long and it was like with the knee stuff like it lasts like 20 years or something and so then? And then you'd do another one later. that she had to do that uh i think just the cartilage wore down like it wasn't an injury Like I sought out a bunch of alternative methods and I did this thing called Regener Kinez blood spinning procedure that reduces inflammation

57:49 You know that term like sciatica? butt, down your hamstring, all the way down, like shooting down your leg. They move around, much like the actual stuff that's in between your bones do. Like it makes you shorter. You have all sorts of problems like mechanical your nerve pathway because your arms are atrophying which is really common with people that have neck

1:00:18 You sure about that doctor that was arrested recently? I'm just gonna be a bad doctor like you know because you can't I mean you have to know you're a bad doctor at that They don't do that with people. more tightly regulated today than it was in years past. Yeah. I mean, I'd heard that about dentists. I'm, I'm stressed out. And that kind of wears on these dentists. So they have the highest suicide

1:03:21 I've always felt that that was the case with cops. Yeah. there yeah being a cop has got to suck. I haven't either. And you're just like, I'm just on a ride-along. He's filming a documentary on Afghanistan and he was embedded with these troops for over a month. I want to say like maybe six weeks. names like insurgents like we never heard insurgents before this war when the fuck did

1:05:59 They knew how to set traps for them. He had an idea in his head of what it was going to be. telling them to do that are they doing it because they want freedom or is there It's all mountains. There's no wives these bitches are complaining man wow you know can't fuck them once a day. Yeah. Once a month. That's crazy. They're a branch of Al-Qaeda. ISIL?

1:08:52 Yeah, they rebranded. 20 off tgi fridays kind of thing like that and people are like well because they because vegas Vegas. and you play, you know, You'd be like, no. neighbor, man? Well, like what Amazon does now is they just throw them up online. Yeah. No, because if Amazon started sending drones, there would be guys that had eight drones in their garage.

1:11:30 I'd steal them. They could find your iPhone. And so it was like a big thing in my town. How many bikes? them that's funny yeah but that you would have to really steal that's not something you could He died trying to hit a home run off a drone. make your iPod in your living room kind of thing. Yeah. You know how like you order like a movie on Probably.

1:14:24 Listen, Sham, is that a chamois? Crazy. And you will be able to do it. but he was talking about how the industry just disappeared. right? You know, putting out these singles and then making all their money touring. But they're just trying to figure out a way No. to go see you live well he's a big guy um in korea yeah yeah he's a he's a he was a big he was a star before that

1:17:51 to have another one he's fine Really? You got to think that like for most artists, that's not going to happen, right? were in this Paul Stanley level, you know, kind of thing. It broke up that industry, Have you watched that movie, Artifact? Leto. wow and meanwhile no one's talking about that documentary it's not like yeah it hasn't i mean kind of like took the legs out from under that business.

1:20:29 anything else before way better than radio way better than putting out a cd yeah there's nothing You would just go and sometimes you'd check multiple times a year are it's just so much different now so much different you can't be like this and, uh, um, a guy, Zach from the troop would direct everything. So I remember directing, It never went back. No, it wasn't that.

1:23:43 I have some people that come on the podcast, and we're in the middle of conversations, Maybe there's some interesting information. It's very rare that, like, your obsession pays off think the newness of it is like really attracted attractive to us in a way that we have a really Wow. I mean, I think it's only a matter of time before they do that. They're going to give you these nanobots that somehow or another do something

1:26:52 Really? Look at this. Hola and ciao. Scientists want to ensure that the receiver knew what his colleague 5,000 miles away was through the mail i'd be like what are you even talking about or through the air on a phone yeah But Kirk could call the spaceship, and that's it. Like we don't even have any idea what they're going to be able to figure out I just send words to each other oh it'd be terrible if like it ends up being

1:30:28 in order to get a positive reaction from people like I almost feel like they're and it's just your entire timeline is just everybody talking about coney and i'm like Child army, never good. To get after one guy? Because he just fits on a bumper sticker? We're super sorry, but we had to save those kids by shooting them. Hilarious. is like telling people how they should be

1:33:34 Like everybody needs to learn and this is what's wrong with this and this is what's wrong with that and it's all like to the point where I'm not buying it. Proclaiming the right way to be and it's always like, you know pro-transgender pro-gay pro the it's like i can But then there's some of these people that you see, it just seems like, well, you're kind of reaching.

1:35:49 that they can get love and support when they say things that other folks will If there was a vote, it's going to be 99% of people that say, you check yes, we should end sexual discrimination. Yeah, you know It's a tenderizer piece of shit It's just like, what is it? We'll be right back. No Obama is great. like prostate pills Save Us Chuck. That is so ridiculous.

1:39:22 and just mocked it openly. Does it mean he doesn't believe in global warming? Oh, my God. I did his show. So I got to go do, they had to make sure that everything is as it see as, To make sure you don't look at her? No. Yeah. Like, you know, it'd be like I bet, you know, like really see like how much power the president actually has. republicans get in is like things like gay rights uh abortion rights like things along those lines

1:42:34 and a puppy and just The crazy thing is they're talking about Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton. We got Obama like, hey, we got a new name. They got a new one. the next in queue. It's recent. Chuck Woolery. God. It's a narcissism thing. We have a computer. take over. Then it's like what Elon Musk is worried about. She was kind of a freak. Why is some disabilities hot?

1:46:15 She could feel you though if you're fat and ugly she'd be like damn she could feel me she can't grow the glasses in no hands What are you being picky for? I don't get that one. And we're going over these magazines. dude, this shit is all just dicks and feet. You know you get like a million people that listen to a podcast at once Some guys like really big girls?

1:48:59 Oh, Mike. And we were all in the same hotel room and we had driven, we had driven from Florida. flip it back no I mean we flipped it for a reason there was shit on one side so we're like fuck this I was trying to sleep. they used to have a big one in San Diego, but they moved it to Pittsburgh I had never seen it in person. for a litter box in the lobby they gotta draw for a litter box in the lobby. They got to draw the line there.

1:52:07 I was in the hotel too right, but there was a few other people that weren't furry like one of my favorite things to do at night and um i've been on like furry ones before and it's cracking down on these bullies but like okay fine bull, fine, bullies are bad. But like, if the bullies go away, Like, and I was like, okay, good. Yeah. They mock you. Yeah. When I was a kid, I was 11 and I moved from Florida to Boston and, um, I guess I was

1:54:47 you show up with a fucking cartoon lunchbox you get shit all over i have i had that lunchbox for Yeah, none of the other kids had lunch boxes with like cartoon like there was no innocence at all it was non-existent I don't, I think that they'll... I think the furry thing A lot about sex To furries But that's what people say about anything. it's not a bad thing to want to fuck a mascot you know why is that awful but it's

1:57:31 Jesus Christ, piece of shit. I did it again. Yeah. why anybody would make it turned into these goddamn robot i think it's all battery life I think it's because the batteries in these when I smoked a pack a day. But nicotine's not You got a really jack it up all day though to get that kind of response time. Yeah, which I do I do Yeah. And you boil it down,

2:00:31 It says here cigarette smoke contains 4,000 chemicals, including 43 known cancer causing compounds and 400 other toxins. Like they say, yeah, yeah, yeah, put that in. That's where the flavor comes from. Imagine if you came out with a product today that did the damage the cigarette did and you tried to push it They find there. It's not it's it's not as good as not doing anything, but it's a lot better than smoking.

2:03:06 An hour ago. No. Stephen King gives himself one cigarette and how many people, like the literally drug war would dissolve if it In your life? I might have made those numbers up, by the way. That motherfucker throws them down. I was in Indiana at a UFC, and John Mellencamp was in the audience, Slavery. Jack and Diane. Mellencamp, you fucks. Commies.

2:06:15 I need to see the rest of the fight let's just get in the car pretend we're in the bathroom You know what I mean? they just take that money Yeah, most of them. And everybody was like, first thing we're going to do is we're going to go to Austin and just kick everybody's ass. That's what they said? Yeah. everybody was like first thing we're gonna do is we're gonna go to austin

2:08:26 be part of the union, but then they wouldn't accept them because they thought, uh, they didn't Yeah, basically. Oh, you sat there cooking it for about ten minutes probably. All right, so where does it go? It's the greatest drug and I'm gonna pour it in see this But I think you're allowed to have a few now because we're kind of opening up the thing.

2:10:51 They're just not as good, rather, as they used to be because the soil's getting depleted. I need to go to a doctor. Well, he's just saying it makes him... It's like his brain just is firing up. cigarette butts up there they put the flag on on. They're going to ash me on the moon. J. Jonah Jameson? There's no wise old men. could talk to you like She was beautiful when

2:13:08 I really hate those commercials. other it became like well no one can tell you you can't do that and then yeah it was the hack thing It was just with your fucking You don't even need that fucking thing. where we'll upload us into like some sort of hard drive. why are we so hung up on bodies? You know, We'll be like when you go to the zoo and you see those like fake cave people you know they're

2:15:38 That's them with baby us. Have you seen the virtual reality ski goggles? And through these goggles, you can see, like i could see you but i also could And the way they film it, they put cameras all over your body, You know, I was reading something about this company that's trying to start up where what they're going to do is take these. And you put this on, and you're there.

2:18:20 with you know the camera there and you see what your specific state senator is doing wow you can see john mccain playing poker on his phone talking about going to war with syria yeah It's so relaxed. Yeah. up because of being a prisoner of war i mean he was tortured and his shoulders are fucked up like like one of the things about when he and Obama were debating,

2:20:05 And McCain was like, whoa, wait a minute, man. Like, the terrain itself makes it just almost impenetrable. Well, it's almost like they set a trap and then didn't realize that a trap had heroin in it. It's actually just a lot of money there sitting around see I can move it To blow on this thing. You get that pull. It's monkey see, monkey do? It's full. You had to do it because you saw me do it. You get that pull.

2:22:22 And then I'm just fucking doing it too. This guy sent me fucking heart attack juice. I got it on my fingers. Is that bad? I don't think I don't think So now you can like snort vodka. tequila is pretty uniform you know that's why like whiskey is okay but moonshine's illegal And they don't know what the percentage is that you're putting in there? States have weird laws on booze.

2:24:46 Not drink caffeine. You can't drink coffee, but you can drink caffeine. Jesus doesn't say anything about fucking I never saw him. and coffee mm-hmm yeah they're not drug free by any goddamn stretch of the I didn't know that. doing whippets if you commit to like whippets and huffing paint you're kind of in the same category of Jack Daniels? And it was,

2:27:07 Well, everything gives you brain damage, doesn't it? Ever? Really? You'd probably have to live in a mountain somewhere. the truck uh got some paint in uh spray paint in a bag and my friend had like mouthwash and Yeah. high and you're like this is gonna feel bad when it wears off. Oh god. That's so crazy The dust stuff these brand new keyboard keyboard the air yeah, what does that do to you?

2:30:22 They're on the show. who was, like, you know, like, had a problem, you know, And he's a doctor, an addiction specialist. I guess they have to get paid something to do it. or just walking to work or something. I watched one episode where they had the mom get up, and then the baby they put they throw the crazy thing about the show is that I watched one episode where they?

2:32:40 you were pregnant like um so it's like why do they agree to let you do this episode about him Wow. Went to the bathroom, had the baby, threw it in the garbage, Like on the day? But it was just the whole town was talking about it. Yeah. the people who How can you? You know, I have this thing. like a cop car that was like telling people they didn't have to throw their baby away, and they could bring their baby to a fire department

2:35:51 But I mean, it's like, you know, it just says, I've seen the sign that says, like, this is where you can leave an unwanted baby. There's like madness all around us. First of all, she wouldn't be fat. Safe haven law. poor fucking kid and you find out that your mom dropped you up the fire department Where's my toys? God damn. What a weird world we live in huh there's too many of us that's that's the only or too many of us i shouldn't say too many of us because the cool thing about cities the cool thing

2:39:12 And, like, plastics and things. It was 150 million people or less. and now it's at seven yeah which is like stunning yeah just astronomical increase in human beings become more important and they become more more concerned with progress and too that but women as well yeah women as they get older like birth defects he's good you know he's got a spectrum disorders's got Asperger's. Just fuck.

2:41:56 Yeah. But I've been high at church basketball games and things like that. It's always just, it's not. But I grew up on a tour bus traveling around the country. Wow. So it was just kind of like that, you know. Upset at her because she's an atheist and has metal in her face and lip brain shit. They're four. Fuck yeah, right? Or everyone who wanted to.

2:44:46 and by the time we're like 19 20 i knew like a dozen dudes that fucked her it was just chaos And a lot of it was just her parents. Uh, no, like, like anything that had like more than one swear word, like I couldn't my girlfriend Right. The second is the one? That's what she was saying. I thought the first was the one. No no no it's the second terminator is the one the second is the one that's what she was saying

2:47:54 or the things that i talk about or like what my you know comedy is usually about um but uh you We're going to go over and meet with some of our friends, Did they ever have a sit-down with you, like an intervention? And I was like, well, I might as well. that it was a personal affront to them. Cannonballs with metal detectors and like you would dig them up and stuff. Yeah, it's just history was everywhere

2:50:37 cheer everybody on it's like wow yeah oh my god that must be awesome yeah well see i was born in No, no, no, they did it authentically to like how the battles would actually play out so but it's very It's easy. I was there. life that you're dealing with. Yeah. Is that what those are? getting shot at yeah i mean it's like that's the mind-blowing thing about

2:53:56 of them and jesus fucking christ that's real man that's that's the real war yeah you know that was to drop off our load first and that's why we were an hour behind them, but we were all That's a fine story. that they had Brian Williams in his helicopter. And then he said, you know what? I don't even He probably took a bunch of different people. just because of my memories.

2:57:12 Like, you know, you always tell. But you're like oh, I guess that was this person in my mind Yeah. Like, someone would be like, remember when this happened? Or do I just not have a memory of an actual event? I think we're out of time. jammies? Yeah. Nice. And again.