Joe Rogan Experience #632 — Les Stroud Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We're live? Jesus Christ man, I'm tweeting. I was like, ah, ah. No, Brian was at the store, too. I do what I like to do. They're going to bed at the Sheridan. And if you have an opportunity to do some shit that you probably couldn't do except if you You can't do that as you get older. You got to wake up. You barely feel them. It's a very eloquent way of expressing it.

2:50 but it was all dark inside night sometimes. Why not? Stuff that sucks, throw it away. You don't want to. and all that and with joe you were nailing into this stuff and i and i was listening i thought How dare you? I couldn't tell the joke to save myself. take a long fucking time but we all know guys who sucked at it in the beginning and but they were

5:36 I figure my 90 minutes is barely Yeah, but I'm not going to try. Like there's the nonsense that gets put out with, you know, you've got a show where you're trying to find Bigfoot. Nothing. First one premiered last night. you know, they have that viewer that you could look at you, or you could turn the camera towards you and flip the viewer around, That's the whole thing.

7:52 Just you. Oh, man, I could go so far in that story. And they said, okay, we'll get Johnny Appleseed to fake some shit. You've got character. All of them. Wars or fucking storage wars or oh we got to get this car finished by Friday man And I thought, that's not John. Did I say that? I love road rules. He's mocking you. He's mocking me because he knows me better than you. Have you two sure? I didn't say that. You did.

10:21 I was liking that Alaska Last Frontier show until I saw this fucking bear eating a filleted salmon. I know that for a fact. the Arctic Circle. shot that bear and ate it. those people live in such bizarre lives you don't have to set up some oh we need to get water we You looked like shit. And you did it by yourself. And now, the plethora of shows. No, that guy's long gone.

12:43 How dare you treat me like such fucking ignorance? There was a story like, what will they do next? The beard's trimmed and everything's good. We have an in. That show is so great. This is a new phenomenon people getting bulging discs and shit in their back. They're sitting for 20 hours You know what? The bottom It's not me. So I said, fuck, let's do it.

15:16 So I'm calling the bullshit. Show the people. Look how bad that looks. Just for a second, look at it. animal costume it's occam's razor or it's's a Bigfoot. Nope. It's 2015. I was about to say the exact same thing, Joe. Okay. Zero. 100% Bigfoot I give him a raise if you had to bet his life, Why is Bigfoot standing still, No, of course. This fucking guy you're hanging out with.

18:52 Let's go to those who think that it does. Right. It's like, oh, it's really stealthy. It's always the far right that fucks everything up. I know. The far right. It does.. Okay. On the far right of the scale. It's always the far right that fucks everything up. So then you go to, and on the far right, it's like paranormal, cloakability, fifth dimensional,

19:55 That argument is insane. WWF is like the 90s. Yeah, what I said is, don't make me your poster boy. animal that absolutely did The people that run the primates. All the rest are still alive. I mean, they all ran pendek. lives in vietnam like what the fuck is this they have some fang deer like like they talked about You know that there's a deer with fans a vampire deer yeah, and you said not a chance man

24:01 They have photographs of dead ones. Which takes it out of cryptozoology and into current scientific study. He started going down there to the Congo. It's the same difference. I go, damn, I think Les knows some shit. We know they're out there. You take whatever that is and lessen its Well, 60,000 black bears. Never see a black bear. You don't see's the bones you know well 60,000 black bears never

26:08 there's 8,000. let's get past that. If there is a Bigfoot, It's more like finding another one of these big apes eight Yeah, you know and finding a gigantopithecus the faker... See, there's a problem. When the fakers just trying to find out and the hoaxers He says, I did those tracks in that time in the 50s. It's a hoax. I mean, there's a few things that they believe in.

29:04 You're talking about when the saber-toothed tigers existed. Oh, Christ, you've got to see this fucking thing. BBC documentary they did in the Look at that goddamn creepy-ass animal. What a creepy fuck that is. It's a horrible looking monster. based on the raven and the wolf and the And in that span of seven normal animals, right in the middle is Bigfoot, what they consider to be a normal species that's there.

31:31 What are you saying? They would come across through Alaska to the Pacific Northwest. I'm just telling you what I saw. Yeah. We gotta go over half the time I have a couple They've been there. Here's the problem, man. These guys that go looking for it, they're almost all full of shit. at things objectively that's Freud Alright. Okay. What is the one thing you've seen that you think you could bring up?

35:16 mountain and radio. And that night. Right. What? I don't understand. Can't tell a guy to eat his poop. Then unwrap the plastic, then eat it. ever exhibited on a podcast. from that little heroin bag. But Anthony Bourdain informed me that you could eat a seed. You can't eat a petite filet mignon and shit it out in the woods, son. You look like you're pregnant

38:21 and then go out there anymore I know that's We can't use you anymore. I know. We can't use you here at the super pseudo-science channel. So on the top of the mountain in Radium... I was like, what the? And they just hovered there. No, this is like the arm on top who the fuck has James got wolves eating their arms Yeah, the problem is that actually can happen

40:27 There's one. It's scary. I was up in the Jim Corbett Park area, I was told that I was dropped I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. and I had to like pull my camera up with a rope I mean, if there was a Bigfoot and there was also a tiger, okay? folks who are just listening to this. flies. It's lucky he didn't get gored of a super powerful predator.

43:20 When you go to India, So this person's not here, but we're going to, my buddy, my cousin's going to lead you in an hour later. doing the whole thing and i hear some noise and i and i i go back about four or and at least they're quiet and you know what's really bizarre is that there's a big push to save They're great. with polar bears or tigers and you have a

46:04 so it's one of the rare places where they're actively hunting people on a regular basis And you know that's a wrap, son. We're singing you can do someone correct their grammar you slept in a fucking tree you stayed up there in a tree no Nothing's going on over there. I heard it growl, which was even scarier. There's a video of them attacking some meat.

48:09 He holds this meat up. Its head is like 14 feet in the air. Like, what kind of bizarro world is that? of course force is always there they wouldn't let me go into an area with an armed guard armed guard A quarter of a mile is a long time. That's what it is. And you're sleeping above, or hanging out in a tree above it. You and this Bigfoot thing. You wouldn't fake anything.

51:47 We'd sit up. Yeah, I get it, man. that they're a real animal that you can go observe they speak in this crazy crazy language that they don't understand, that we don't understand, rather. They kill sharks, man. They don't know how to speak Spanish. He's knocking on wood and shit. Right? a seal? They show them how to smart as shit and they know we killed them.

55:02 they got this thing and see no the ones that are in SeaWorld fight back no no no one's out there while people has been It's not shit. With a guy who's wearing a rubber mask okay could be Apparently, in this PC world that we live in, that are into this idea of It just takes you. Why should we be able to figure out to the swim women that really want to get fucked by Bigfoot?

58:02 There's some people that are going to be into getting fucked by Bigfoot. to satisfy him? for him. you already alluded Mm-hmm. most offensive Native American accent. It would have sounded like that. I had her in my teepee. She went flying through the air, and Bigfoot grabbed her. bounty i can't watch them anymore. But talking to that dude, and they put it in a bag

1:00:30 You're not supposed to touch that with your body. They never found one thing that you could say this makes Bigfoot a real animal. Weird little freaky fucking half monkey people. Come for the orang pendek. The outtakes? a motion-triggered camera, had this all set up, It's on the show. Go over there, grab the candy bar, walk out of frame, and then turn it back on?

1:03:22 And on top of that... And a lot of those you can set up to send the data to Wi-Fi, right? I don't know. Maybe. Most likely not possible. Only if you're Bigfoot? How. Only if you're Bigfoot? Right. If it fell off on its own, I think Oh. That's an interesting question. More likely? We know something's hanging on a tree. It works on candy bars falling off of trees.

1:06:45 gravity and It's just like, Did you try to recreate? Because if the camera didn't pick it up, I'd go, well, there fell right but was it there but then again it fell from what i mean it'd be No. branch but it was still like hanging in the air like the branch it was the apple was hanging in stuck on the branch. It could No, this is the same the chocolate bars were sitting here in the middle of table. There was okay

1:09:29 Small pen. Two candy bars. Candy bars. And apples dry out really fast. Have you ever let an apple out? Like, if it has a little cut, it turns brown candy bar. He's just trying to confuse us, man. We got him on the run here. And apples dry out really fast. So the candy bar is represented by the baby dick, right? You got rodents up there? You remember those scenes in Twilight where the sunlight is cutting through the trees

1:11:21 It would keep moving. Unless Bigfoot can fuck with cameras and make them stop. Okay. This better be good. We're drinking. Like, how come there's no pictures of Bigfoot? No Bigfoot TV. Did you do the howling? That's the worst you get there. He thinks you're a dick tease just beats a shit more than tigers, Genesis chapter 6. giant he's so fucking tall he's taller than shaquille o'neal like 7 10 7 11 or something

1:15:06 thousand years ago and i think the dead sea scrolls i think they got that to like was that like five Oh, my God. I'm 5 8 and I stumbled through them by the way back in like the Civil War days God damn, you'd have some stories I the odd, you know, What was the sound that you heard when you were in your tent? Let me take my pants off. I'll be dependent on lotion like some pussy it took so I don't take pain pills like a bus split second They just go downhill

1:17:50 Alaska coast I shaking just going crazy and then i hear he left, five times in a row, and then These people think it's Bigfoot. I'm gonna go find it. No, that was that one. You just heard it. I had it in my head and then you went And it was midday. That's why I want to know. Heightened states of alienation. So anything that happens is going to be suspect yeah

1:21:29 Who's this guy? I was like, is like he's nuts thing light it on fire that's scary take your chances take your chances escaping from the flames I'm just talking. Actually, when you see people been out there for a long, even if they didn't start out crazy, you go bush. I haven't got a freaking clue. I think that was a squirrel. What was more freaky? 300,000 people in the last 200 years

1:24:36 That's insane. people, oh my god, Or close to it. You know? They are really nice people. That's actually smart. That's actually smart. And let cows like walk around the street so that they are like bait. I couldn't figure out Smart cows are ways you to get them people with guns at a store. They weigh it for you, they measure it. It's everywhere. That's ridiculous.

1:27:35 I was with a sadhu in India last week. That's why you know about him the reason why you know about him. He's telling me I don't do it And he has no shirt on. He's still fat and he doesn't eat and he doesn't... Let's watch him for a few years. In India? the sort of states of enlightenment. Wow. and if you do this They eat the dead. Ash. Yeah. Maybe That made you a little hungry

1:31:22 Like he was eating Cannibals would call them long pig. they Must be insanely bad. Now, these people that they get from the river, they're human hair exactly now these people that like they get from That was weird man just seeing them walk down with that body knowing they they have like little rituals they do with busted doing that oh it happens a lot oh my, my God, it must. It must.

1:34:28 God damn, man. It's not like there's three people. Yeah. Oh, just a fucking Jesus Christ, son. Shiva. But we need to do is get Bigfoot and the tiger together in the octagon and see who's the king of the goddamn forest I think that the possibility of something exists. You know why? Feelings aren't fact, and that's all you... Not real. not a dude with a monkey suit on, with football pads on.

1:38:17 Most happy if it was real. Because you know what? Okay. You're right. Because Bigfoot is closer to us than and you said, look at this evil thing in this new Hobbit movie. It looks exactly like that And they didn't even find out about that thing until I want to say like 20 or 30 years ago What the fuck is that? Is that Bobby Lee? how god- Look how big it is!

1:41:17 I mean that must be a fucking In the neighborhood, right? Taller and thinner. That it burns calories while it's eating And you weigh whatever You know that as much as I do, right? They think there might be some like Fuck nature you scary bitch scary as fuck you scary bitch nature and there you are All they did was they broke its hind legs, and then they backed off and they let it sit there.

1:44:52 Why are you still doing this? I'm going to cool places. Mongolia. them around. It's crazy. Yep. Like, what is this? It doesn't mean that there's something up there. I think I might have saw it too. Let's mix near a lake they think they figured out and sturgeons get enormous huge enormous caught sturgeons. And sturgeons get enormous. Fuck, dude. of this thing from overhead and it looked exactly

1:48:27 That's a pretty big one. That's what all these are supposed to be. look at that one that that guy's got in his arm. That's a big fish. That's like a big fish that's like a person it's a person fish but the uh the the really big ones if you take a photo of They have, like, armor. Does your dick ever fall asleep on these chairs? Oh my god Less if you had to guess

1:50:24 In British Columbia That's where he was god Yeah, he created Starbucks. Isn't that the deal with them? Go back to those other images. Oh my god, that's a Florida Gar. In the lower right hand side Look at the size of that thing Don't be so quick to say that Sasquatch isn't real when that fucking thing's swimming around. They have to cup their hand over their dick because there's fish that'll fly right up your urethra.

1:53:00 Yeah, it's a cut dick. Look at those wrinkles. Once in a while, I do have a sick dick. How many days do you allow yourself a year? How many sick dick days? One every, I mean, like, sick dick. I'm going to have a sick dick. Do you have a lot of sick dick days? No. Once in a while, I do have a sick dick. Just make it black and white. It's a dick on dick on the moon look we got a picture from the rover

1:54:18 Objectively as a unique individual as you could it's no you know no one is completely objective people that i go out there with now no i don't i don't have any issues with todd everybody else L-O-L. Why everybody else that even claims to have seen one says they fucking bolt. My God. I need to be a secret producer on your show. That's what we should do.

1:56:21 I'm going to be both be the skeptic. And one of the things that when we went Bigfoot hunting for that sci-fi show, this guy told us, he was a really cool guy. So that area, like, there's nothing lost in exploring that area. feel like really connected to In a way you're never going to get in a city. It doesn't give a fuck if you have your insurance card in your glove compartment

1:58:09 Good luck. when you're out there it puts the whole ball of wax like you might be completely wrapped up in Survivor Man, Bigfoot. he sends me this And, oh, look. I paid Verizon Romy Data for that. They're not so uptight. It's bean or tortilla. Like, we had some fish in Mexico. With a little bit of lime, some cilantro unbelievably delicious. A little bit of lime,

2:01:36 Whatever it is, bro. But I do know that when I eat too much of it, it fucks me up. You don't get that if you just eat You know, like a good lasagna. You know, and I would love to know what pasta was like before they started monkeying around with wheat. And then the other idea is that these processed flours, it's just your body's just not, that's not how it's supposed to be eaten.

2:03:25 Like, you eat oranges. You pour a bowl of sugar on your fucking Frosted Flakes. It's better. at the end of a bowl of frosted flakes that you double sugared If you had to guess. It was up in BC. What else do you think I got to go on? But if you found a carcass, right, you'd probably be able to get some DNA off that. nothing to whoever doesn't have a stake in it.

2:06:29 So it'll cost you money in that regard you have to have gear which cost are you talking about you have to have camping gear? If you're out for profit. Like the finding bigfoot Something called us back. Is there two schools of thought when it comes to wood knocking? Yeah, one of the guys when we were in Pacific Northwest, You ever heard that? Analyze these for that sci-fi show to me It sounds like total horseshit and he's like a human voice can't make that noise. I'm like yes, I can okay here

2:09:43 Yeah. anybody says a human being can't even make that sound, you're right. It has to be a tape recorder. Samurai Chatter. Oh, so he has a pair of Beats headphones? First of all, I don't trust this British fuck. It is very bizarre indeed. That kind of shit. What if it's not them for a few seconds. No, they look like giraffes like they have a very giraffe like way of walking that stupid fucking thing walks like a person

2:13:49 Bob Gimlin. Roger Patterson the guy who filmed it Bob uh Yeah, I remembered. One of those dudes who has those giant belt buckles, and it looks normal on him. I mean, come on. I mean, fucking get out of here. Had some fake fur thing on. That's why I'm going out there. You don't gamble at all. I don't gamble. I can't get more shit Nothing crazy. That video.

2:16:37 Okay. Look, we're not trying to gang up on you. You're not ganging up on me, man. It seems like we're ganging up on you. No, you're not trying to pitch Both covered Look we're not trying to Listen you know I love you Bigfoot in his cooler Oh, you think it's scary on the mountain over there, okay? Because if it's there, we think it's a missing link.

2:17:54 That's not what it's about, man. is living in the middle of a lake in Scotland? It's way more unlikely that some sort of a cold-blooded reptile that's enormous, If you want to meet the leprechauns, you can meet them. those I mean this is all people that were eating plants that they didn't even Best question asked about Bigfoot's not what it is, it's why.

2:20:27 I'm tapping out. Discovery Channel, Science Channels, Wednesdays, Fridays. I really do mean that. All right. Usually 10. We did it.