Joe Rogan Experience #635 — Jim Norton Transcript

Transcript

0:00 And broadcasting. Are we broadcasting? How does this work? I guess, but broadcast, for whatever reason to me, it feels like you're sending a wired signal, like the old-school TV signal. Eventually, say you're in a live-action movie. a broadcast of like H.G. I don't know. You're going to go back to 1930 and find out who killed themselves over a Norton Wells radio broadcast.

2:07 Was it over by 35? 33? It was only called marijuana after William Randolph Hearst started printing these articles about blacks and Mexicans taking this new drug and raping white women. But it was really what they were after was hemp as a commodity. It's hard to totally follow. That's what I heard in that Eagles documentary. That makes sense. crinkling up as a fire crinkle crinkle crinkle they had but they had comedies and dramas and some of those are really fucking cool to listen

4:53 You wind up reading it and Like, we'll go through He's got Matt Damon to do them. He is a good dude. You know, a lot of times you watch a clean guy up there, Well, some people, that's just what they think of. because even though he's killing yeah he's killing but he's just he's talking about getting his dick Well, it's censorship. whatever the fuck they are, that they can't be handled in a clever and hilarious way, everything can be.

7:39 even think of that option. And yet all these guys are like, well, dirty comedy when you mention them. telling me you can't swear. He was telling me, you know, you got to stop swearing because Right. Like, this is ridiculous. Like, that's ridiculous. real adamant in the clean versus dirty camp i don't think that exists anymore and i think the But now you just look like a dated douche.

9:53 That's where you get fucked up when you have to start editing and cutening it up. That's fucking, that's not cute. You could actually whistle out of it. How about them apples? Exaggerated. It should fall out of a vagina. to the point where she could enjoy any dick. while sending a signal out, telling guys she's got a tight pussy. Oh, my God, yeah. And I love the honesty.

12:32 You want to feel stretched out. It's just a combination of all of these things It's a squeezy box. Flies me crazy. It's almost like I feel connected to nobody. Honest relationships with people. Yeah, cuz I came into, this is the first time I've ever traveled without a computer. That's beautiful. So what you do is put tape around it. I got to clear it off eventually.

15:03 That's hilarious. It's almost like there's times where I feel like, just put it down. So I have no connection with my manager I'll tell you why. I was prepared. There's no reason I can't do a few lines with this person and feel connected. And I've thought about that for years. nothing I'm going to do that makes me feel like I'm a part of this group.

17:18 out seems like kind of like if you do it for that reason just like this is my new I want to read more, you know, like Bill Burr, we had Bill Burr in recently and he's flying And he marries a nice girl. And I want to read more. I saw Ari there, but there's too many What's that? that's still an old fucking He's going back. This is it? Maybe Twitter. I don't think it's.

20:08 I might have had one of these fucking things. The Galaxy Note 4. But the stylus on the Note 4 is pretty slick. used to write all my stand-up notes by hand. too i talk my notes into it i talk my notes i like just talking a joke idea into half the time it It's like, how stupid are you? I mean, I try to talk very clearly so that it understands me, and it never gets it right.

22:49 Bluetoothed into your frustrating about Siri, though, is when you're said. Like, it's just, it's waiting to Well, it's really good for that notepad feature. there's a lot of goddamn people use it and what What you don't like about iPhone is that it's difficult to get your app approved for the app store, And then I use a Samsung Galaxy S5, which is waterproof.

24:53 That that's probably the same as the iPhone 6 plus. Yeah, the six the galaxy s6 is just coming out I see somebody with a small iPhone. Yeah, Steve Jobs really bugged me. without smartphones. Like, how did everybody stay in touch without a phone? Did you ever have one of those no? do with like 900 numbers. I don't know if I experienced that. Yeah, so that they didn't have the party lines back then

28:12 We're gonna run out of food. You know like people would freak out if you ate too much Wow. It's certainly On where you live too It's almost impossible. Good fucking luck finding an apartment in New York for $2,000 a month. And the old producer, Rick and Steve, came to my apartment. the volume, but you can see it for... About six miles from New York

30:20 Because I'm such a bad sleeper It doesn't, it's not good. That's insane. Oh my god, and it was yeah, that was that was our living room. That was where I lived I've thought of that. My god, well, I know that that black mold stuff definitely can have an effect on you. How long did he live like that? And he had to, I don't know the specifics, but I know that he had to demolish like a

32:56 That stuff all over your walls like that, Like I get that a lot what I'm laying down and I have to prop myself up on my right elbow Oh, wow. I was panicking watching. And just give yourself a little break Mm-hmm We were literally just breathing on the radio. But it's a good discipline for breath. I think if you took a class in it, and someone could show you how to do it,

37:42 But he was you know he was always one step away from just being out of his fucking mind to take two deep breaths and he's high again I've missed about my dumb sleep apnea for years You got a deviated septum operation. time. Yeah, I was there recently in Phoenix. It's an interesting town that doesn't get enough respect. There was two girls. girl is like that and she's freaking out and they want a few

39:52 It's bullshit. Yeah. This year, yeah. Right. And he lost his gig because he shoved in Phoenix and he had cocaine on him. When? But this was a long time ago. Oh, yeah. This was this past Super Bowl. Yeah. Like, if you're drunk, you might be fucking not thinking. we would just text dirty and none of them What? I'm like, you're attempting to blackmail me.

41:21 I said, And that's what Warren Sapp in that moment probably didn't do. Let's calm down. that wanted $30,000 in the lobby. Nobody cares what the fuck you do being a rapper has got to be a motherfucker because you have that much pressure because they're not meeting Yeah, that's a good one. Right, that's a difference. They took it to a totally new place.

43:23 openly like Suge Knight? Soho like right after Hendrix died and you know the idea was that she committed suicide or But she didn't. That could have been the case. And this is what this guy who wrote the book, try to find that, Jamie. Undoubtedly And that's a crazy tactic to keep an artist in your stable. American Desperado. God. How about Rolling Stone?

46:28 A glamour shot. Yeah. I wonder if that hotel still stands. There would be cuts on him or something. Jimmy was worth much more to him dead than alive. Who knows? That's how you do it. You want to throw out that allegedly. It's a very good fight. make sure that the fingers aren't an issue all these other techniques like kicks and elbows and knees Alistair Overeem was training there for a bit.

50:00 Bad motherfucker. At 205, he's just smashing people. eats a lot of fucking wild pigs and shit. It's crazy. Oh, is that in MGM? I mean, that's the only hobby I have is I like to go to UFC and watch. We had a good fucking meal in us who went down to the Riviera and watched a show is the first comedy show I sat through in years. I told you that you kind of changed my thinking about two things,

53:14 I like that you just pound them for 50 minutes. great show it's a big pack together fast but like when I'll do like an hour, and it's a great show. I was like, you know what? I really enjoyed that, and as an audience member. I would really enjoy that. Thank you but I'm already moving on come from it was it was something about context I I hope it's good.

55:41 they don't think like that anymore I love the Peter Criss And I had this guy Yeah, that was just one of my many apnea photos, my fucking fat face. And it feels like it's me. like at the end of a cycle. really like when that time comes you know but then forces me, when I abandon it and start with new stuff, Like, you'll get one guy will tweet or write, hey, man, fucking Norton, your stuff is so topical, it doesn't hold up.

57:52 That's what's on my mind. on the radio already. that are just looking to complain. Yeah. No matter what Hope you get raped and killed. Everybody goes, what was that? you have no idea what you're dealing with. Like, what do you want me to say? that's what's being honest. who you really are. Yeah, but you're evaluating the minds of retards. But there are times where they're right.

1:01:03 and it's like, oh, my God, did I give you idiots way too much credit? And sometimes the really cool people, they disagree with you It stings. What kind of a person am I receiving this criticism from? It's like, I have a public email. But if you send me an email and go, look, this is what I don't like about the show, Right. And open your cunt, and then you don't respond, and they go, see, he can't take criticism.

1:03:31 loyal do you want me to be to Anthony? I love are fine with how we treat each other. What do you happy. They don't seem to get that. It's like I really do. I and try to accommodate you. Like, I do want the fucking fans happy. Right. And they don't seem to get that. I don't charge for anything. I'm not even freaked out. I'm not even... And it's like, God, you're fucking

1:05:07 Well, it's also they're not realizing that you're just a person. and you get on your iPhone, and you're like, Like, one of the things I noticed, this group that likes to call themselves social justice warriors, or they get disparagingly referred to as social justice warriors, there's a bunch of these people that I follow. Does that mean jokes? Right.

1:07:14 You know and you think it's the whole world the world sucks look I'm getting rape threats, and I'm getting all these horrible harassment You've heckled me online. Dude, you don't even love your fans. My favorite thing to do in the world. or a molester, Well, he started, Uncle Paul started. in a fire. so much, and he'd be like a really nice steakhouse and the waiter would come over

1:10:15 People think I'm fucking this guy. mouth. He just goes, you're a woman of lower You know? because we would do it and she would dig her fingernails into my face. I told you, my dirty intriguing. She goes, Jim, wake up. And I knew I was in trouble. So she wakes me up one morning. She goes, Jim, wake up. Who's Jelly? I don't do Jelly publicly. He's too embarrassing. He I do a baby boy character named Jelly, who she liked. Who's Jelly?

1:12:21 So, yeah, Chip would be like, what? What are you going to do it on? I don't know yet, but where the audio is all taped already Because, again, different levels of animation I'm not funding that much. and in the second one I have a couple of the characters As a kid, I would always have these weird. But me and Jimmy Robinson hated Jimmy Norton. There was this weird

1:14:40 fucking shit. So I've always saying it. I mean, I remember doing it That mindset. Instead of just talking to my fucking, you know, dumbbell fucking friends on the radio So something is interfering, I think, to kind of bring it back. I'll see her tonight. She's fucking awesome. And she, uh, she fucked Sudley. How many people are in there? There was Uncle Paul.

1:17:36 So there was no, they would be one-trick ponies on the radio. She said Uncle Paul was probably the best of the three She was hilarious. Remember Harold Perrineau when he did Oz My god, that's hilarious. That's what I'm gonna do too. I forgot about him until recently Jimmy, you need to do a podcast. They wouldn't get bored of you if you had a there's going to be some someone's going to figure out programs that you could do that mimic satellite

1:20:30 I think it would be a lot sooner than that before the cars have it. There's a lot of different classic vinyl stations that play cool music, you know. Deep Tracks is like real obscure songs really annoying when you're listening to a good show and then you go under a where you're you're driving through the canyon and there's just this canopy of And Jim has already done one special on Epix already. So this will be his second special on Epix.

1:22:56 What is it? The original room is the downstairs room that seats about, I guess, like 150. show that he used to do called And people yell out topics, But you're forced into that situation Oh, get out of my way. Who knows? But that was kind of fun to go up there and just explore it and see where you go with it and where your mind works. enough life nothing to feed off of Burr was saying that same thing exactly

1:26:21 there's no new input so there's stuff I talk about on the radio which is topical Like, just go out with someone somewhere without a goal of sexual whatever. Her fucking husband's going to find out. You know? you great is also the thing that would actually ruined you my favorite tweet think she meant like fuck black people or do you think she did i don't know i think she was just

1:28:57 and just being an asshole. Well, that's something a comic would say. Who's Curt Schilling? I don't know. say dumb shit. Our Jewish clientele would legitimately not feel comfortable having you operate Jews. Like, does the hospital not have the right to go, we don't want you working for us. Our Jewish clientele would doing dumb jokes. But if you and one of you,

1:30:46 fuck would you want to work with that guy? Right, that's the truth. a cunt. But then there's the ones where people I felt disloyal to my own point of view talking about how it essentially uprooted her entire life. And she kind of went into hiding. And she didn't think that that many people were going to listen to it or read it. That's where I'm kind of just, whatever.

1:33:05 mean shit. There's just a gray area when it comes to some of these things. And it's almost like because they're such liars Yeah. But this idea of fat shaming has been driving me fucking crazy. I have one for you if you want one. I forgot what I was saying. bring it up and have them realize that there's other options out there and they and cakes and burgers and just

1:35:41 the food. It's fucking brutal, man. I think that you put so much emphasis on this issue. And she would talk about what she ate. she had to eat the ice cream you know it and then whoa the way she fixed it is And then she turned out great. They kind of dance around it. And you see them indulging like, oh, this is fucking tremendous. And have. Okay, because he looks like he's lost a few pounds, actually.

1:38:42 just as bad as you have a thing for sex. And they never straighten it out. a window you're never right there you're never see life. You're looking at it, like you said, through a window. You're never right there. You're never totally present. You're always With playing pool. I'm an addict here. How long would you play for like what's the long period time eight ten hours Wow?

1:41:14 And I would go and I would buy them by the fucking crate. There was a bunch of different ones, but they had, like, skulls and all kinds of weird shit all over the labels. here's the thing about it. If you're a gamer and you're like, what the fuck's wrong with you? better your position and defend and after a while you're done you're done you can't from Houston. We'd meet in Houston

1:43:46 chips, Mountain Dew, Yeah, well, I think they can get there, but as I played it at home once, I backed into the fence had like a script that he would run that he would load up like a profile script for the speed of your mouse, for the shape of your character, for your name, like that and some guys didn't but it was this thing that it became like really specific so that

1:45:44 Left, right, this key, this key, of pinpoint accuracy in He just had this this super tight because you're going down dark corridors, people are shooting at you, you're shooting at them, And the rush, the actual rush that you would get from these games is incredible. Backing into the fence and saying, Right, right. Yeah, sometimes if something that. A running tally

1:48:41 that's nothing. I wouldn't say And she was right. Golf becomes very addictive. My sleep's a big issue. I fucking finally fall asleep. Probably not, though, because I bet you've talked about this on the radio enough times, But if it's not that, apnea. It's very, very intuitive machine. Like it really picks up your breathing and It makes me so frustrated.

1:51:45 Yeah. I'm not getting the air in there, physically it's the truth, you know Anything milk-oriented bothers me. But the mouth guard has changed my life a little bit because it does keep my throat open. I missed that fight. What the hell did Anthony say? He was just talking about how it was difficult to work with him all these years and the Ope had responded. But you know. What? What did they say? What the hell did Ant say?

1:53:22 what are you feeling? But I could see through their tweets of both. So whatever, they're fucking because Ant needs to do that. They need to do that together. But I wasn't going to But Ope got like a more, when you're, It wasn't that bad, but he kind of caught himself and he didn't want it. I was talking about my breathing and about my fucking, why did I go down this road?

1:55:16 that made me... Because there was a reason I went down the road Me going down that road was spawned by thinking Chip has Someone will find it. I went down the Opie and Anthony thing, there was something Oh, thank you. That thing you wrote for Time And you wrote a really well thought out piece about that. norman lear said his therapist said to him years ago picture it like a room that's on fire do we

1:57:56 Because something like that where you have so many feelings about it, it's hard not to try. It's like, what tone am I trying to set here? I mean, but it's like you, when they, I always write stuff. They just ask me, you know, I've turned them down for things I didn't think I was qualified to write about. But they asked me about Joan Rivers. You would have written something

1:59:37 I didn't know her well enough that I never got to meet her. for whatever reason, scheduling-wise, moments like that I'm terrible by the way I'm the worst fun banter guy ever I And I'd just go, and he handed it to me. top and she goes, hop on. And she had one And I had met her a couple of times after that and said brief hellos. house. That's an amazing

2:02:03 But I'm Because Bob's a guy who really doesn't back off from anybody. And Ellen Burstyn was there. That sounds awesome. So this was a Thanksgiving dinner party? And fucking, by the way, I'm at the cappuccino machine. Joan was there of me. And I saw Louie after that I was like John Candy in Stripes when Larraket's yelling at him. Louis is so logical.

2:04:49 But she was an 80-year-old woman at that time. Yeah, everybody, and that's how it was for me with Ozzy Osbourne. And like, when that happened, I was like, my fucking life is good. brave. She was braver than any of us because she never and i asked him about joan rivers and he had a very interesting perspective on how carson never The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

2:06:44 She did it because she She said she sent him a note when his son died. I think it was an accident. Let's say them anyway. Absolutely. and you're wrapping him up. What are you thinking? That fucking We've got to do this more often. about how scary it must have been when fucking Mike showed up And I was up there just meek, doing high energy fucking faggoty Jimmy.

2:09:24 But it's interesting when you've gone through a journey like that with someone, Thank you, man. You could get him on Twitter, Jim Norton And EpyxHD.com, I think, if you don't get Epyx.