Joe Rogan Experience #636 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Oh shit, we're live! But you were doing it all in perfectly enunciated French. They keep it together. Why don't we have those? The footage is there. I maintain this I really do believe this I believe that most people are great They're fans. It's not a nicer prejudice But you can think that they're retarded And the guy was genius as fuck. What hunting's about is how I do it.

3:03 You said the east. Clean face? Yep. It was fascinating, man. By the way, you want to talk about a guy doing the world a service. And then Radiolab, which I've documents don't arouse suspicion. ultimate question because if we could stop all people that would wantonly want to create war for profit, if we could stop all are doing it only for, has been absolutely and i so i don't think you'll ever get i don't think you'll ever get rid of

7:00 And that's what's so hard is that the things that take so long to build are so easy to destroy. And as technology grows, it's going to become more and more a factor and more and more I mean, they were fairly clean-skinned terrorists, right? type aggression. You mean just like male behavior Yes, they are, and they kill lots of people. support from the sunni population has nothing to do with whether those sunni people who are good

9:36 And again, there's nothing to admire about those guys. They're ruthless killers. fucking imagine and it's one of the biggest problems we we're gonna have with people that that saw their kids killed in front of them and stuff like that. No Steven Pinker would argue that, that it's becoming easier to identify with other people's suffering she was so excited and she had this heavy indian accent and i thought that is that never would have

13:37 like real-time conversations with like kim jong-un yeah you know if you could have a real-time and plays basketball just hops on private jets It's like Rocky Marziano hanging out with Mussolini. God, look at that. Rodman. I was like, Rodman did that? He killed everyone in the family Interesting premiers went to meet. he'd known him for a long time and he was really kind

16:40 where they're going. from what I read. This is madness. Dictatorship and they do they do even worse they if you really fucked up Wow. Even the kids, they move you and they move, they move you like you're designated where That's crazy. Good stuff there. that way it's just so crazy to think that someone's able to pull that off in this day and age. Well, he's got nuclear weapons.

19:51 if a guy died who was the king? Oh my God. terrifying and whenever you know people talk about privilege white privilege black privilege You know? He was saying Obama was a... By the way, his dad was a Kenyan and Muslim, but he didn't know his dad very well. where he prays every day, to the floor What happens if you're a pussy and you want a little pillow, a little soft pillow?

22:27 Oh my God. Look at that old dude Yeah, that guy right there. Still at large. heard of this before. This is insane. low resolution, but whatever that is. a good guy by the way he's he's he and he and osama were good buddies I mean, it really is. I mean, obviously it's real. He's out there. different events that have happened all over the world And he tells a fascinating story.

25:17 Oh, and all of us live in its wake in a much deeper and more turbulent way than you can imagine. And he was a Serbian terrorist. I think one person was killed. Here was the next in line for the in charge of the Austro-Hungarian Empire. It's awesome. And as the car stalls, because he missed a turn, a guy named Carvillo Princip, had a gun in his hand and said,

28:00 Yes. You opened a whole can of worms for me, man. terrifying 900 years later whatever the fuck it is. going to come in You were going to die apparently when you really light it on fire. like this blows can't wait to get back to civilization but we do it because we love it organized they were well because that's how they would hunt so they would hunt on horseback they

30:38 Probably not. Yeah. look, I guess you guys weren't aware that you owe Genghis Khan money. I was like, dude, call it Genghis. Yeah. You're right. He's a great guy. I shouldn't say national, because it's on the internet. the turning points in European history about how many good TV shows there are today fucked up in my head? Oh, I think I have it fucked

33:42 Breaking Bad, Better Call And you've got to be good because they have those HBO shows now. to bring in your living room every week. Talk about a dichotomy. They all can suck his dick. But I might say now, because of peer pressure, Tony Soprano. You could have a season and you're going, you know, you're telling a story over months and months and you're getting people addicted.

36:09 in a way it wasn't even a mob show motherfucker yet he had to run his own family make his marriage work and all that shit i think a lot on my friend Mike he was born in Africa but he said I want to be American so he and you haven't experienced war and you start talking about stuff like that, I think any time you've got Sarah Palin bright she's certainly very yeah myopic in her experience and her perspective she's got that

38:49 Brilliant guy. Well, I got a kick. He grows good grapes and then kind of does the thing that he was told. How about that food? Because a tri-tip is a very peculiar type of meat. It was just how the fork would go into it. Well, that guy was cool as fuck Vampire romance ones. Yes. A lot of vampire Hey, man, we went turkey hunting, you guys. Does it, like...

41:53 kind of hilarious. I retweeted it, I think. Hashtag Denver. Little music emojis? stoned. This is what Is that real? Yeah, that does happen, right? Because people love to quote, I don't know if that's even a real thing, first of all. Dude. Twilight? Infowars.com. knew it manual of life infowars.com i read a book besides twilight if you're a guy Robert Pattinson?

45:05 That's my story about him. right ladies and gentlemen it can't get any better than this he's just one of those guys like those Old school dude, man. worried about it? in the ghettos where the Jews stayed. well okay hmm okay it seems like it's not real then right or it could be wasn't about nazis So purpose was to discover whether fluoride Here it goes, right here.

48:42 Yeah. Egyptian image pineal gland the actual like side I'm sure the Egyptians did their share of cutting brains up. Oh, okay. okay that's what they're saying here neither of us know what the fucking pineal gland looks like Yeah, what really is it? As long as the human organism stays alive you've thought of it as a giant super thing Well I think the human organism.

52:42 That the human brain is going to get to a point. We already right now don't know I And they're working on figuring out ways to stop that degeneration. for the long haul let's give us a hundred years do you It all keeps steamrolling. If we start adding things to it, if we start putting in little transmitters or little things, going to be you might be right yeah it because, because it's moving so exponentially and the minute

56:20 know enough about the human I think that if you can imagine it, way we communicate with radio waves, the way we text, texting each other with our brains. I don't cruelty of the Christ! Trying to protect you know... And he's kind of an asshole. next morning he shows the picture all they find is the baboon's face the baboon's face basically A shitty pet.

59:41 They eat human babies, man. Yeah That's how they show Well, that's not fair that animal shouldn't be there. It's not fair the animal you're putting the animal without even understanding its language I mean, look at the fucking teeth on that thing. Jesus Christ. Look at that color. Oh my god. Dude, like that? Probably. Probably? Damn, look at that thing. Jesus Christ.

1:01:18 Yeah, that's just retarded. That thing would be out there a million years from now, just like that. Yeah. behavior that they'd witnessed before. They're still fucking baboons. Like we're talking about North Korea, and we're talking about America in 2015 look at the difference between also when you first started this podcast about talking my head i'm having a real problem with that lately i gotta regulate the amount of information that's

1:05:08 Ready tight tighten up your belt my favorite. Okay. There's a little kid that starts doing some chest thumps Look at Coco the Gorilla with Robin Williams. but if she wanted to just pull your dick off See, he just pulls him down to him. Look at Robin Williams. This is a... It just can't vocalize the noises that we want it to in order to communicate.

1:07:11 Isn't that nuts? He signs tickle. First of all, I tried to shoot a single leg on him. It's so nuts. Yeah, they are. Coco checks his ID. just a few yards you ever seen the bluff charge that they make that is Damn. Do you have any idea The second one down? Ooh. Do you think that gorilla cares about his gut? Yeah, I feel like that's probably why. but these dudes are in the middle

1:10:29 Yeah. It could just rip you apart Fuck that But they don't nest in trees. She's more soft and fuzzy. I'm sure that they have probably A grizzly bear is that thing, right? But it's a different kind of weight. Is it? Yeah. I mean, a grizzly weigh? A lot more. Yeah. A lot more. But it's a different kind of weight. Look at his head. Well, the grizzly bears are impossibleangle with this thing. Hard to hurt, he looks like. Look at his head.

1:12:40 throw him. Maybe freak Gorillas are so fucking smart, though. variety of things I should say real omnivores which bears they kill you. Mostly your gut or your asshole. Like deer. are connected together and one of them is dead because it was eaten alive by these coyotes and I don't know. It was wobbly. He's like, save me. Yeah. Because without that aggression, guess what, fuckface?

1:17:35 of your very species until you figure out how to get it together. And the only problem we have with each other, it seems to be like allocation of resources. I was about to say. That's the other animals. We don't have to worry about that anymore. And the only problem we have with each other, there was always that situation. People are creeps. Just a big, dry hole.

1:19:42 and they were siphoning the water off with dams and rivers, it became a disaster dried up arkel sea eco disaster there you go arrow arrow Think about that. Oh my God. life with an error, like the Salton Sea. It is? That's where it is, man. That's crazy. south of Iraq, it was, and there lived people called the Marsh Arabs, They'd been living there for thousands of years, thousands.

1:23:32 Some people just take things. like one of the cultural centers of the world When it came to science and philosophy, they were at the front of the line. That's right. When it came to science and philosophy, they were at the front of the line. infrastructure their their canals for our agriculture all of their civilization, their infrastructure, their canals for agriculture,

1:25:57 He truly believed he was this divine spirit who had a mission to remake the world in his mind's eye. talking about how the guy would when he would find people that were really talented that were the Yeah. You know? What's that? Just get them in a guillotine real quick. I don't think the wrestling was like paramount. combat yeah they probably knew like i mean you think about like the the early days of martial

1:29:08 I think so. that's like the same type of dude. Oh, I'm sorry. That's not a Diet Coke. That's crazy. there's from Siberia and from the step and Mongols. And there's like the genetics of survivors of hundreds of years, cruelty of nature but i think to really not be objective about it is real cruelty Have you ever seen really crazy people have you ever been around someone who's willing to kill you for money for?

1:32:23 Until that is all eradicated so that becomes like the real question. so that the only way to get ahead is if you're a bad, if you're an amoral motherfucker, then going to come in and take your house. I mean, that is a problem. the, we had no connection to it. it does because there's satellites everywhere we see everything we send They were subhuman.

1:36:10 then you'd find out, holy shit, there were a million of them. Yeah. And wars would start because of these alliances Which war? And he had enormous respect for the British. Really? He considered them the Aryans of the East. And he had That's why they're swordsmen. They are straight up the most ferocious group of motherfuckers on the planet. but still, you know, a great all-time fighter.

1:39:21 Judokas, but a lot of the judokas even like a lot of the judokas even, like a lot of their techniques came from, And so he imparted that, They figured out submissions in a way that you really can't find parallel at the time armbar setup. I didn't even know he was doing it. They put up like a little 15 second gif, I guess it is, whatever it is, on Instagram.

1:41:40 Like, they spent so much time on weapons. But in real combat, like Bruce Lee wrote very extensively about real combat situations. Whether he attributed it to this book or he should have or I don't know. He took in judo from Gene LaBelle. Yeah. What was possible? So I started working out at a boxing gym, and then I started hanging out with a dude in this motherfucker. And that's the only way

1:44:48 a 17-year-old and having wrestled, tough high school wrestlers were like. And i then to think about d1 wrestlers and then i'd start taking Mongols, where the Mongols lived this life of constant strain and effort, and they were Because they were so fucking strong. You really don't know. Habib Nurmagomedov. dude and he motherfuckers everybody like that he motherfuckers everybody like I'm so excited about this fight with

1:47:49 Right. That motherfucker's strong, too. is dangerous off his back. He's just getting you to look at these. You're looking at that right hand and this fucking neck kick comes along. That could be easily a world championship fight. Especially if you're not a wrestler first. He hasn't been in a real war and that's what everybody really wants to see everybody really wants to see him against a wrestler because everybody we've seen

1:50:38 Whether you know it or not like you're you're at a deficit. I said I asked him where his confidence comes from I count my money and I fight. and thenate you, because I think Dustin was doing himself a disservice by cutting down to 145. fuck, your body's getting tortured. Because those are the people that wind up looking almost like there's points in it where they're almost like

1:53:12 guy who's enormous, Thatch, I mean, Benson has a legitimate black belt ground game. you know what, man? you know, always cutting angles, always making you work, always pushing you, always putting pressure on you. but look, man, that fucking weight class is nuts should be banned for life. Did he say something like that? Who fucking knows? It was a bummer that he didn't get to fight Jacare this weekend.

1:55:49 That was an insane fight, and then it became an insane demonstration. Look at his neck. I don't think there's ever been a time ever in my life where I've seen this level of execution on a scale like this. Dove on his arm and threw a leg over and then hooked him under his leg that uh to Ivan Salivary he went from the the back to an arm bar there's a video of him doing

1:58:48 dude. It was so high level. See, this is just an arm bar. This is an arm bar, and it's impressive. But that's not it's they missed the whole thing. So this is just an arm bar None of that that he did was strength. jiu-jitsu person. But That's why when you roll with really good guys they are ahead of you they've been there before they've seen what you're gonna

2:00:34 And then Luke Rockhold. It's a very good fight. That's the bottom line. Because he's a long dude, but he's also yoked as fuck. Both of whom are, don't have, if I saw him on the beach, What a great picture to jerk off to. You fucking Russian bear. High insertion calves. Yeah. Because everybody, first of all, was allowed to do all sorts of Mexican supplements.

2:03:29 when he was head-kicking off his back. Maybe maybe it's just like he's half bull No, Kevin Randleman suplexed him, and then he got him in an armbar just moments later. And his timing. But that was, by the way, Oh. If he continued to pick him apart Buentelo like early in the first round he threw a right hand was like a bolt affliction. Before the second fight with Junior Dos Santos?

2:06:56 Or it could be the goddamn wars he went through. He calculated he takes about, he took over 55 55 000 shots to the head god damn 55 000 and that's typical this french general i think or a british general said we have to have war because if man doesn't You are. I don't think Duncan, and I love him, and Tony Henscliffe are going to like hiking up those mountains in that cold.

2:09:19 He's a golden pony. Like, weasels kill cobras, don't they? I mean, he's not to be fucked with. What? That's amazing. With all the fucking variables in the world when it comes to wildlife, that this couldn't take place? That's a baby. I'm still calling bullshit. Is he? You can't lie to them. They're ridiculous. Do you know anything about that, is several files.

2:11:53 You know what? Hawaiians are Hawaiians. Maybe. Hmm. and looking at something with a black background? Again, to bring it back, this is becoming the Dan Carlin podcast, but he said something I wonder if that's possible today. And then once it got to that certain point of innovation, listen, engineer them correctly. And a guy named Jesus Christ said,

2:15:07 out and you're like what's going on over there why are they all marching why are The fucking radio! Your information was controlled. Does that make sense to you? and would do very, very different things Right, because the consequences are so high of not taking it seriously and not being aggressively prepared. How can you say that when we're going to war? I mean, we're in the middle of pulling out of Iraq and Afghanistan while maintaining thousands of troops.

2:18:38 even with all the things that go on, in comparison to any other time of epoch, any other time Some people disagree with this. where Iran saw that there was much more to be gained from joining the economic community and playing ball in accordance with its laws than in getting weapons of mass destruction. Perhaps. That's what your fucking passport The whole burqa thing.

2:21:03 Yeah. It's so true. Damn, she had a banging body. Very exotic I must say With a body like that? Yeah. It's always awkward and weird. I will always hunt because it's just people like, why are you going? We're going to sleep under the stars in Montana. doing other things because the fact that you can't get anything more than a And those are like more tender the Jake wasn't a jake and um they just don't here's the deal you know there's not

2:24:27 One of the greatest pictures I've ever seen. Which isn't even that big. Look at the Yeah, come on over. That's a gladiator animal that you're eating. You're going to be like, holy shit. Their flesh is so healthy. good luck. I was up in a place where they don't even have a limit on how many wolves you can kill. Well, when we were in Napa Valley, the farmers I was talking to, they used to keep emos,

2:27:30 I'm out my this farm that we're at I mean they had all these cows and shit and they think about you have to survive I'm trying to find this guy. Well, those legends go on in Europe forever. Like all that stuff that you see on the ground in that picture. Yeah, they would have come back. Yeah. And they kill your livestock and they kill your dogs. What's our next hunt?

2:29:43 Ooh. Yeah, they migrate in August. Yeah. Yeah, I'll cook some at the house. Look at me. You're gonna be quite the meat cooker yeah, I'm getting good at cooking meat. Like, I'm no chef. Like, he could be like a real chef. That's what I cooked last night. I got a cowboy cut, a big, thick. Then you move it over to the other side But you want to sear it for depending upon the thickness of the meat and the temperature that you're searing it

2:32:49 post pictures of it because I like what other people do too like I like looking at people's They'll cook a steak slowly. and then you flip it, and then you push it off to the side. around it and then you put it on the top close the lid and it'll drop down like maybe 350 degrees or plastic bag and they boil it oh yeah yeah yeah that's a new thing that's not a new thing god

2:35:08 It couldn't overcook it. I don't like that Wagyu shit though. It's better than venison. Maybe this is the preparation maybe the chef the chef just nailed it now because they send me my own steaks Other places that do Wagyu and then there's snake river farms like everybody everybody who's in the they all say well On the assembly line, it took five minutes to assemble an entire Toyota.

2:37:22 Five minutes. cooperation, but even more importantly, because of typhoons, their architecture was made from rice, I mean, I know he's listening to me and then I'm listening to him. Hi. You know, I mean you if you think about their for setting up shop in Africa. I always confuse Denmark, Holland. Are you Dutch? They're like, let's just, like, how about you just get tested and do whatever you want to do?

2:40:46 The boss drinks a higher caliber whiskey than you do Give up the good booze Traits, especially when it comes to And it was basically, like, a super evolved sports car. it was on rails, man. No one had ever made an all aluminum sports car. selling it fuck you damn just. Just shut your mouth. that you can kind of charge more money. Every year. Really?

2:43:36 And me and the Hinchcliffe machine What is that? That's the real taillights. That might as well be you see around the back end, That's all about Yeah. this shit oh you motherfucker watch this shit this hurts my like my anticipation hurts my like Look at this. How fast is he going? And you've got to know got to know a circuit like But now the new Corvette Z06 is even faster than that.

2:47:37 nerve of green oh my god look how beautiful it is around it it's amazing two things i've never You're flying around next to this unbelievable countryside. It's one of the hilarious things about Top Gear is that so often they're testing cars It rains all the fucking time out there. Swap and paint! What accent would be sophisticated? It's outrageous.

2:49:35 set up all these different sort of patterns that they follow. Knowing your place. That shit didn't even work. Like, what was the wig thing about? and our uniform is going to be much more grandiose. The Brits were just fucking down-home khaki motherfuckers. Yes, they were covering themselves in leaves, waiting in the cold for dinner. Trust me. story about this kid he's puerto rican and he couldn't get a job. It wasn't a friend of mine. It was a friend of mine told me the story about this kid.

2:52:15 Wow. Watch this. Tell me about it. She likes guys that are dying. What can we expect at the Punchline? Valor and I'm gonna be having the Navy SEAL who became a woman Kristen Beck on We got the surprise coming, you guys! Christmas them in about six minutes. That's right, ladies We're running out of time. And it's one of those things. He's hilarious.

2:55:04 And that comes through in the show. I know a lot very aware of his faults He kept going, all hands on dick. Like, you know what's going on? It's a hilarious podcast. So what I'll do is We went turkey hunting It's available on iTunes. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. You fuckers. See you soon. Oh this weekend