Joe Rogan Experience #643 — "Big" Jay Oakerson Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Makina with white people. I would say. There were some instances of people burning down businesses that had absolutely nothing to do with any of the pro-police group. on it. Like, okay, really? They made a movie of it. No. You know, Jamie, pull up a fucking preview. We're not going to worry about money again. And the thing is like, Accidentally very high percentage of the movie business

3:19 Was it one of those movies? They're going to add their little fucking spooge to all your ideas, and they fuck everything up, man. And especially The one about John Hunt, or what is it? John DuPont, who's a crazy, murderous cocaine fiend who shot this wrestler, Dave Schultz, Yes! thing is in Philly? It's outside Philly. They speed through all the things that are real

5:21 Yeah, they were hanging out, doing bumps in the helicopter, one of the best wrestlers on earth. a black guy named Big Gary Goodrich. They had him watching the UFC in 87. There was something missing. UFC in 87. You have all these things in your head. They just, they fucked with everything. It was a different time. When I started, you could wear shoes.

7:58 And having that go through my life, watching that sport grow in my lifetime. And then they go, oh, yeah, no, you can't just break a guy's finger and he starts pulling on your fingers. thing. Why are you taking that away from him when I actually thought, because it never happens, in a bulldog position. Yeah, I need to find out about that. the shin's kind of coming around here and a lot of times like a high

10:32 the most ridiculous, because that's when guys are moving it seems almost like elbows to the back of the head and punches the back of the head are really It's the back of the head and the base of the skull. that can't hit mohawk in the back of the head like that strip down where the spine is some people And then you would smash the back of his head with elbows like Henzo Gracie

12:38 nearly as effective as doing that like if you got a guy's head if you got him We waited for this, we waited for that. You know, they weren't going back and forth and back and forth. just could not get to Floyd. floyd was gone he just wasn't there you know just super slick boxing to me i'm from philly so i Fox Sports will do the, you know, the all-day, just Tyson's fights.

15:12 You know, I I got in a famous argument years back with this guy Lou DiBella on I'm a big fan of glory, and I'm a big fan of Muay Thai Yeah. you want to see that violence that you You know, like... I don't... Girls very easily, I find, get into UFC. in ufc very specifically but in in most of the televised mma stuff actually i mean ufc really You put her on a course?

18:00 and his kind of hard luck story I think villains in actual sports, though, not wrestling. Like there's never been oh yeah He's a fucking stud at jiu-jitsu. I mean, destroyed him. trouble. Because if she straightens out his arm, There's never been a fighter in any fucking sport like her before. And then when you watch it in slow motion, Right. Way worse than China.

21:32 Fear Factor. China's yoked. The pro one one was mostly pro one she did professional porn Like, they've done these studies on athletes that have taken anabolic steroids and they've had permanent Like I can still go out there and bench on just a day throw up like 350 pounds When you're a woman gonna keep getting bigger she's like i just love it this is what i look like now i love it i can't

24:56 Jesus fucking Christ. Patrice was so, I mean, he didn't do anything with her, I've been with three jiu-jitsu It was a weird... the lady in those photographs was most likely on some male hormones. No, she has a man's face now. She could probably woman up a little bit right She looks... It's like... And when I say monster, I don't mean the worst monster.

28:12 I saw a gal had her chin shaved down. China used to have that square face Have you ever... The gerbil up the ass Well, that's literally what we were talking about earlier was that, like, it's amazing how that got around so many years before the Internet. But the Rod Stewart one was nothing How much cum could it have possibly been? First of all, I thought about how much I came.

30:37 Like, that's how much come? By 12, you knew what cum was. That's why we all knew who Richard Gere was? It probably just came up again because that was like the next big, big, big hit he did. It's the most poorly researched word ever. Going Clear. Louis Theroux, the documentarian from England. Oh, yeah, I love him. It's just really well I woke up on Netflix

32:41 And it convinces them Telling it to you that they were like, you know, if you don't sit in this room for the next three months or a Scientologist is a loser. It's just there's levels of down and out. You're talking about some people I'm talking about all of it Scientology and prostitution and moonies and you know the I trust him during the day when I go work at the tire shop.

35:09 they killed these two guys Everyone around you everyone in Texas is armed to the tits I see this argued on Twitter all by saying, oh, maybe they shouldn't be paroching him. To get to the point where they want to kill you, You can draw that. No one's going to want to kill you. where they killed a black kid, Excusable in any way shape or form that you would think on about that you think about yeah

37:45 They are more offended than ever. And then Bill Maher had one, too. And everybody was upset at it. Listen, So he still wants you to refer to him as And he's been taking hormones for like two years, right? For years even on that Kardashian There was a joke on Saturday Night Live or something in the 90s. hilarious you're not supposed to make fun of it, right?

40:06 Do whatever you want to. He was a man most of his life, had children, just decided at one point in girls i mean what okay now he's a woman so we have to call him a woman now. Yeah, I mean, look at the size of him. I think you should be able to do whatever you want to do. I don't care. gay people at all but i think it's like a deviate it's like something that went kind of wrong almost

42:52 You could say that. Like there's levels of everything, you know, and there's. Two things. One, the idea that they're all the same. Like, there's levels of everything, you know, I agree with you. That gets real strange. You can't use the Apple Watch now, Joe. Like, I know what's going on. He's like 46 this poor bastard like wasted his whole fucking life pretending that he wasn't gay. I'm like this dude is gay

45:02 Have you seen the new bag? I think, first of all, definitely born that way. it's a deviation. Like, some people are tall. on Chatterbait where you can look at like a normal guy. I didn't know it was deep though. Almost like it was a simple just pushing the dickhead all the way back in. So what's that cream? Porn he does he keeps his pants on and his fake dong just comes through the hole

47:55 Perfect job, but she has a girl's body, but it's just available online I mean good gonna show the box oh yeah well she looks a lot like a gal also they have a Former male a former male a male female former trans. Well, you didn't see the box there The lips are, and you get mad at this, we're all, you know, we're living in a weird world where there's going to come a whirl. I mean, we're all, you know,

50:40 outside the realm of possibility within the next and you can become a woman, like a real woman. You know you see the perfect gal walking on the street like just big ass and thin waist big you know, you would probably be like, dude, look at this. What if you just, bing! Sexual Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even with Lorde. Just get the fuck out of here. Like there's some people, no one can even argue like, oh, their ass is too flat or it's

53:52 Well, the problem with that is, did she always look like that? Tank like you know like like bottoms, you know, I mean, it's like isn't it weird in like the 90s The fashion and style and stuff for white dudes for a long time kind of taking over the style of that and now like finally And it's almost like somewhere in there, there's a good research. I'm a face guy.

55:59 It really sucks, too, when you get close to a girl, and then you notice, like, the sunlight shines on her face. knowing that. Even if it was just like He goes I shaved my pussy bald and I go really and then she pulled her my pants down to like the top of her You don't feel like you're seeing anything that weird, but if but if you That's a great album cover.

58:05 It was like that represented, like, guys would call it a beaver. And like, yeah, Big Bush. They would show tits in the newspaper. Nobody ever liked the butthole hair, It's not like trying to figure out solar power But your asshole will grow that hair back like a wild bush, and then in a couple days, My head stubble doesn't. We don't smell like flowers like you just got ass fucked by a flower floor

1:01:11 There's two different speeds to the water it shoots with the the one shooting in my asshole cuz it just felt so good they hit like But but if you told me I if you told me I had 70 baby wipes and a roll of toilet paper But again, let's say baby wipes and toilet paper. until I shower, after I shit. He does. I wanted you to do it. I stand up. your cuffs? No, I don't do it. He does.

1:03:10 No, there's people, most people sit and they go like, and that's hilarious. That's great. It's a very specific protocol. Oh, oh. If ever there was a... Ari had like a Homer Simpson's Well, we had a whole episode of my podcast, Legion of Skanks, that I do. And I mean, So it's still like that? He never killed the Jew clam. What's wrong with that poor boy?

1:06:10 That's a sock. Prolapse. All right, now show us your balls. You make Ari do stunts like a fucking autistic kid? What the fuck's wrong with your balls? Ari had his balls out for, like, almost an entire episode of Opie and Anthony once. Like what do you eat? What are you talking about slow for this whole episode? I have many pictures of Bobby tucked like a woman.

1:08:54 will pull them out pretty quick, too. Like for Joey, for years, it was a mainstay. times. I got a picture of him fucks even when he was starving. always been like, that's like, Just like guys do. I mean, that fucking, what's that? You'd trust nobody. Right, of course. cops show up, Fuck you! From women on the day after Mother's Day This is a fluff piece That's what we expect. Come on, where's your fucking data? It's Ashley Madison math.

1:12:23 Nose ring, sling dick, telling jokes. Maybe it's only been a couple weeks, I guess. Yeah, yeah, absolutely right. I guess kill quit out mushrooms, you're gonna do those too. to rental car to hotel. life, too. Everybody's like this weird had to really balance both Like my daughter's 12 now and I'm 36. You know what I mean? Like, my daughter's 12 now, and I'm 36.

1:14:59 and there's, you know, some fat girls blowing everybody and shit. while you're just like, anything. insane behavior that most people a girl or two girls at once let Because strippers are also living this crazy sort of debauchery filled life as well Yeah, like no shit and uh and i tried in years past to kind of like there'd be these flickers where i try to like

1:17:08 you wouldn't be involved with the term square. there's a lot of people Just do whatever the fuck you want to do. Nobody kind of knew how many people were out there that were filled with the same amount Caveman Coffee all the way. no but now you go online you could find a whole community of people sure for anything for anything Have you seen this? I mean what the fuck man these are the people that love you your your parents

1:20:45 It's like a flashlight that can do chores. Psychopath and sociopath are pop psychology terms for what psychiatry calls Psychopath and sociopath, they share a diagnosis. Doesn't feel remorse or guilt. Both suffer Both are violent. do you like to just call themselves bipolar? interesting. Either way, fucked up. when I'm feeling uh I mean, I just feel like when you break variables down like that to like two columns.

1:24:30 I mean, you're a different person one week. want to kill other people, want to do harm to other people, He doesn't even know what's happening. It's a black dude That's possible. I think it was even that late at night, The word was he was, like, you know, all screwed up on drugs, the kid, like whacked down on something. Like, he had, like, kind of a scowl on his face, but it didn't seem like.

1:26:55 see myself... I don't see my... you could barely understand Like, what the fuck, man? I think it was back in the 60s or the 70s, he just started shooting people from the tower Does he have a name? So it was just, because we're in LA now too in a totally fucked up way from the time that person's being developed in. And the picture is a propaganda picture depicting the Germans as savages. This was about Germany.

1:30:10 This predated King Kong And the gorilla's holding a woman It's pretty crazy. I mean, I think, but the idea of gorillas. something probably if i guess that's supposed to represent a mountain gorilla or some kind of You know, you're talking about photograph was invented for them. And here they are looking at this image of a gorilla They were so advanced in so many ways so much engineering weaponry and all that shit

1:33:04 those are the three. It's called like Blow or Leaf or something like that. No, and what's crazy is it's already big in the UK. That should be like your workout every day. I don't even know if that's the same one I saw. Let's see a video on this bitch. All the sharks didn't invest in it because they only have three prototypes of this in there Can you imagine if you could pedal it you probably pedal something that size?

1:35:53 Yeah, one for turning one for going straight and back Sup, you know? So small I in that how are you generating that air? she climbed in the back or is this a different one? I was to see that was just there's next to each other. Oh, so there's more more than one model. Yeah, hmm Yeah, it's a good thing doing hotels in the road dude yoga hard workout is hard to do i would have

1:39:04 Balance and sovereignty like where your body you It's because they don't have full control of their body. There's a video of him on the beach in Santa Monica You go up in the middle and you pull it out, and it's really impressive. And Westside Barbell is his organization. So you lift it up, it strengthens. amazing for my back. It's so I'm so curious.

1:42:15 if I do squats or anything like that. Like, does it make noise at all? That's not really. Like, when I go to the chiropractor and just sounds cool yeah I love the sound like when I get go to the car and I get cracked I love the sound but the reality is that's not what's fixing anything what's fixing is the adjustment it's one of the reasons why some doctors erroneously think it's not effective.

1:43:43 Like you can the reason why some people are super super flexible there's a little bit of genetics involved there but a lot There's soft tissue manipulation. I've taken a lot more to stretching. For some reason, I was kind of able to focus my stance on kettlebells uh sometimes just like and not even that i don't think kettlebells were much of the things i for some reason i was kind of able to focus like my stance on kettlebells

1:45:41 well you know that's the probably the easiest to fix. Yeah, you lose. right now i diet much harder and i do more yoga than i would say i do like you know heavy weight Channing Tatum in Foxcatcher. And also those kind of No, by the way, just the idea that you could like, Did you ever see the rushing guys who go on the cranes and just do like We played every one of those it makes my legs quiver watching the videos. Yeah, my feet go numb

1:48:36 It's a fucking parkour master Oh, no, no, no. I mean, it seems real. This is the one I'm talking about right here. Look at this. This is an edge camera video. Look at this fucking guy, man. I mean, it seems real. You could jump a distance of four feet, for a fact. panicked, like, going to do it, even See, I could definitely jump over that. With a run and everything like this? Four feet wide? Yeah. See, I could definitely jump over that.

1:50:18 Well, because as I was saying, I'd have to assume. No, but this is the one I'm talking about. And you still would not want to take that. What is he doing? He has to stop at the end. Yeah, it's real anxiety. Yeah, this there's no amount of money for. Yeah, I'm not doing that. I can't suck this dick. I wonder if transgenders that have fake pussies, It's because it does end up being made where the dick was.

1:52:41 Here's Hickson on the balance beam. Those things you want to be a vampire when you were kid look at this fucking balance this guy has he just sat and that was why one of the i mean one of the reasons why he was so good like he had a Yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence that it's also he can do ridiculous things with his body. I bet LeBron James can't do that.

1:54:18 He can do some pretty crazy shit. You know, George is pretty flexible. I thought we talked about it. because I just, I mean, it's not like Mike Tyson days. But don't you think like everybody, fuck this, I'll never watch You need to bring excitement back to it. He's a bad motherfucker. Yeah. Just show a couple, just a few minutes. I know who you're talking about.

1:57:18 It was insane. like everybody wanted the Mayweather fight to be, shit he's such a stud though so it's like a fucking animal as a fighter and He died in a motorcycle accident. the movie of his life Stop cheating on my lady. guy out. She's like, you shouldn't do it. He goes, hey, When I got in the shower you twat Leave town or hang up on her Fuck her.

2:00:36 They hurt his back. Those motherfuckers with their fake stories Yeah, that's not the guy you want to interview. say disputed report You can't do that. That's Make it an actual report? easy that shit goes as oh moving. Um, okay. Unarmed. And now this, you know. And they're always kind of like, people still say that. And this is goddamn Rolling Stone. But because

2:04:17 Yeah, exactly. of the same thing it's not journalism the story's not done you don't know unless you were there you Yeah, no shit. Yeah, Baltimore is burning down. Different police squad because he was dangerous because they didn't they just like they were like you gotta get the fuck out of the car, a cop who was taken off of a different police squad because he was dangerous.

2:06:27 But my point is how weird is it that some stories catch and some stories don't like some stories Well, how about the South Carolina one where the guy got Do you know what I mean? if this was so much wrapped around, shit. Honeypots. It gives them something to destroy. Okay, but what she said, which she was criticized She's black right yes And we worked very hard to keep that balance and to put ourselves in the best position to de-escalate.

2:09:41 Take a loss for the greater good, maybe, you know. This day and age Like who's gonna do it But a lot of times ends up being the same guy, you know shit you have to deal with. time he goes but you could check my arrest records man i've never had a uh never arrested anyone for watched him weave in and out of the lane. taking two three lanes at a time just go straight across and then back on

2:12:31 And this guy fucking flew by me on the highway the other day. The fucking cops were racing him the entire time this asshole like thought he was like being Joe slick and And this guy was flying Imagine if you're a cop going around corners Most of them don't do that anymore. from seeing your family again. That's just Well, look at you. Do you look like that dude from Pulp Fiction, the gimp?

2:14:58 Well, that's the new rule. How about those guys on a that lock-up bra or somewhere they tattoo their eyes? Oh? Oh yeah? Who gives a fuck if they have gray hair? I can't say I'm surprised. Yeah, those girls are... It doesn't take on that look. I'm going to take it down a notch. It was hilarious. And then there's some silly quotes where they're like,

2:17:29 I just haven't had a chance to watch it. That's an honor. calling you shitty yeah well it's kind of saying you eat a lot you fuck yeah um fuck was i gonna I haven't seen Amy Schumer's show either. It's about two girls. There's too many now. I watched the first season, and it was really good. when John Lithgow killed that chick in the bathtub, It's like if you were doing a documentary on Jimi Hendrix and you're playing a fake guitar

2:20:14 They don't just stay in place so you can do it. You're trying to choke somebody they would start kickin they realized their life is in danger He was my favorite season. I mean, was he good other than that? Do you know what I mean? So it was like, his sister was never supposed to find out he did that and then it was like I didn't know that. Piss poor jujitsu technique, sir.

2:22:12 Yeah, get a bathtub son. This is America Are we going to hear his freestyle? Cream be fresh like Irish Spring. That's supposed to be Lil' Kim. Making loot, knocking boots on the regular. if you've ever seen the video of him freestyling when he was 16 years old, Pick the slobber, the puff mother comes to undercover There's something about freestyle, though.

2:25:54 But it's like being able to flow on the point and then have the right things to say. I mean, that's like one of the greatest videos. And in his hand, he's got notes, dude. Is it cash? Yeah. Oh yeah. No. Like Ari's butthole, I blocked it out. Go to it. No one killed them or nothing. What does that say? If you want to chuckle, play the first verse of hip-hop junkies

2:29:13 No, we don't hear anything. Do you remember this? Orca was a great big whale. Sean Wayans was 20 years from doing an open mic. No, compare that to Biggie when he was 17. Alright, alright I try to see the best in things, From the Ramones. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. What is this? Didi King is what he called himself? Oh, my God. that. It was like that, you can try all your

2:32:45 Was there one sort of radio hit? But I think he probably wanted to. I didn't know Incubus very much before the radio hits, They were on Ozzfest before. Wow, that's great. was the big thing with that I mean eventually got a super exposed but dr. What is this, Sugar Ray Meme Machine? Sugar Ray, yeah, That does not make you slick. No. There's also a whole drum kit.

2:36:11 I'm pretty sure. He was probably banned from the comedy store when it went down. He shot the fucking sign and there was always a bullet hole in it Can get lost on on looking at track listing names of comedy always the but these aren't so bad But his album, the tracks are just called. He goes, oh, got him back. And you can't really tell because he's in a dark stage.

2:38:49 Yeah, you can kind of tell that's not the store. Because you're sort of, you're looking back into this time, into 1982, when Richard Pryor was on fire. it later later in life you know that he had tried to kill himself It's kind of cool to watch. It's there's a way that he's moving that was also funny They were vulnerable. Oh, yeah. you know i mean i'd be i'd be lying if i said dane cook didn't make me laugh i remember i've I mean, there was definitely an element of what he did with that that brought something to what he did. You know what I mean?

2:42:43 That shit works when you're 35. really funny shit. that character he's doing. Emo Phillips is a good example. bomb shelter type ceiling yeah man like the emo phillips was the big one that was a big one because He was doing it on that show? In the garbage? You wouldn't just throw it outside? Just drive my dog nuts. Aren't they doing a Fight Club too?

2:45:42 So, are they going to make another movie? It's fun up until the moment where you find out What's that what you know when I watch it? But like when I went to go see that, I was like, it was so bizarre at the ending. at the end of the movie. nobody wants the fuck you know, you just learn how to fight at a martial arts Yeah, that's a good movie. They're just going pretty and fight that guy like try the guy trying to fuck your butt. How stupid is that?

2:48:14 You lose your vision from those sometimes. He's punching your fucking brain. brain trauma and beatdowns bullshit. You can't fight two days in a row. I could kind of get that for a little bit. Just that the turnaround, the flip, the reveal that he was the same guy was just so dumb. You do not have to worry about that at all. It was horrible. Well, that was one of the things

2:50:39 one part in the movie where you're like, get the fuck out good, man. One of the best movies I've seen Wow. batteries fucked up. They stink. They overheat. some volume. We'll close out with this because we've got to get the fuck The fact that it's wall-mounted is vital You can get home to this guy who's like a fat wife in a muumuu. I mean, he makes a car that everybody falls in love with.

2:53:25 There's no feeling of shift at all. It's zero to 60 in like three-something seconds. some creep head fucking weirdos stop where you plug in and you got to wait for half an You might. But if you're driving fast, battery like you can't leave it and just go away for three weeks and come back to a fully charged Google It could be a Little River band, a bunch of goofy soft rock hits.

2:55:48 It's so bad and it's low resolution back then Look at this pussy. Can I say my podcast before everyone gets mad at me? The band Tesla. SDR show is on All Things Comedy. He's like a 12 year old Cuban kid. Well, he was so good at dress Drago though Peaks and valleys. and a bunch of surprise people. I'm glad we could do it again. Bigjaycomedy, you fucks.