Joe Rogan Experience #644 — Brad WIlliams Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Okay, we're live! You'd have to go to Colorado, you'd have to find me. There you go, man. in the minority. I actually enjoyed it. Well, definitely more than my wife. Hearing shit like that, Yeah, like I love watching hockey on tv that's like my favorite sport to watch on tv I'm trying to tell them the ins and outs of it. Yeah, and, like, it was supposed to get, like, the casual fan into it.

2:58 Like what kind of stuff? trying to make, at least recognized that it would be more fun if there was like complex storylines and like you like getting into the player's life, That's my whole life, dude. Yeah. It was kind of like the Snoop Dogg thing. And if you want that result, you want that Ray Rice result, you're going to get a Ray Rice. and expecting them to have exemplary behavior.

5:38 Yeah. Right. We want the purity of the sport, but After they've just been punched in the face. That's literally You know this because you've had to interview guys right after they fight. Yeah, they're fired up. I was just doing a play at a time. And like, that's what our normal is. I don't pay attention to any of that shit. go either way like people either freak out with the honesty of that person or

9:08 Thank you all very much. And I wish there was... And I wish there'd be one goddamn filmmaker in this room that would let him fly because the man, he is something else. Loki, Loki. But anyway. directors like Darren Aronofsky come around every 25 years, and he don't like it when I say that, Yeah, but now, or women or, The face is crazy. You're right. He looks like the character from the Stephen King movie

13:18 Mickey Rourke or now there's some pictures out there Yeah. Right? Well, I feel like if you added, Who are you yeah? Oh? You're a fucking different human the uh Huffington Post and you might want to pull stars He could look like Kim Kardashian. No. Is he? It was really obvious and now he's kind of I did it, but you know what happens, man? It's like they haven't figured it out yet.

17:15 Like, wait. went right we don't know there's like oh they look great a ton that went right right i mean i don't Raquel Welsh. Which doesn't even make any sense. Yeah, because, I mean... slight differences in how and how the gene changes so there are literally some Right. Oh, Surreal Life? Yeah, he's still alive. wants to see him hump a laser anymore so now what you got and it's weird because i i saw that and

21:36 to wait until a producer says yes It's happening. And you got to cultivate your career. it's one reason, Cause yeah, really the big guy. And I is he utilizes it to his advantage, explode into candy or something like that but they're like don't hit him We don't know he could summon a spell like I don't know what they thought but yeah like like people

24:21 audience of a uh carlos bencia show and he's on stage making midget jokes in the audience of a Carlos Bencia show and he's on the sentence, what is one of them here? And the answers I gave got laughs. Because there was a time, and I talked about this with Red Band on my podcast when he came on. Well, I get it. But the things that he would do for me

26:16 Let's see let's see what you got and that's whole like I put you up there cuz you're a dwarf anything Neurosurgeon or something right right right. Right, right, right, right, right. And that's the reality of life. that's good man you don't have to you don't have to I have friends that hate other friends Those guys aren't really fans. There's you and then there's the fans.

29:01 Yeah. But I can't have that moment. Every now and then, Joe Perry texts me, and I'll show a friend. things that I've found is the most successful people, the most interesting people, people that Like, I was at the Hollywood Improv, and Paul McCartney was there. But he had, like, a guy that kept trying to drag him away. Like, handler, whatever the handler whatever the agent maggot

31:42 It's cool when you realize that and you it's cool when you realize just hanging out because that's what we're doing and wherever comedy club you're playing I love the dude, but he'll be like, well, that's funny you say that, Brad, because real I guess we're not talking. something when he was on the podcast uh when he was on my podcast called about last night what's

34:28 We might have joked around about it because it was during the same sort of time period. We just came in at perfect time. Yeah, it was art. You said there was a conversation where you were like, let's steal him and see his face. You might not want to live forever. We're just guessing that it's nothing. It's very possible that whatever you have whatever's going on when you dream

36:42 I had a crazy dream about that last night. Supposedly. That's all theory. Not like last night. Like the more you can like settle that in, the more you can, ah, the more you can exist in, in like a real peaceful state where, where this is like your real self. Were you on the new mood? And that shit really does fuck with your dreams a lot. It helps you sleep.

39:34 You should do Shroom Fest with Ari Shafir in the desert. I've had such bad experiences on drugs. All of us going to a panic attack That sounds awesome. Like, did you, like, when you had that So they gave you an IV at the hospital? And I didn't. That doesn't make any sense, exactly. Well, hey, Joe, I'm very tiny. He only holds a bottle of water. That doesn't make any sense, man.

41:45 Yeah. better. I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't see how it could. I think that's how you say it. Because CrossFit, they're trying to get people to do like, you know, 50 fucking clean and presses in a row. I'm really glad you're saying this, Joe, and knows so much about strength and conditioning and health, be to strengthen your body for sports strengthen your body for competition right and when you do a

44:51 low repetition because once well a few times maybe you know maybe a couple but you're not supposed to And then the other side effect of CrossFit is that when you meet someone, the first sentence You're getting your body to work. Oh, it has to be the most amazing podcast in the room It's like everything else. And it would stay like the dent would stay and then it would like slowly come back up like she was made out of

48:03 About like dehydration and drinking drinking yeah you know yeah our mutual friend bean from the Kevin and Bean show damn every now and then I dip my toe into it while I'm trying to make eye contact but the next person that walks in Look at her. Oh, look over there, Joe Rogan. There's certain people that are experts fucking clean your car. Yeah, Jamie.

50:47 Hey, he's a fucking, he's an enthusiast. Like, sometimes I write, like write a tweet where I'm like, from social justice warrior types. and he got attacked for Yeah, they called Scarlett Johansson's character a slut. They're like that's that's slut shaming do you know what the fuck you went to see? The use of aggression. You're not creating. A cartoonish comic book movie as if somehow or another this is the degradation of the moral fiber of our culture.

54:04 The world's filled with cunts. We're fucking with you. Okay, you're talking about totally different thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're just talking about people who are just egomaniacs Shut up! There are people that do believe that, though. That's my profile picture on Twitter. The San Francisco ones. It's basically like your news radio promo pic.

56:29 Just put it out there. Just so hopefully they come up with the answer yeah, yeah, they're exercising their own anxiety man How do you say that? Yeah, but if that happens Yeah. I love Twitter. I love communicating with people like we were talking about the social justice and you have all these comments on the horrible nature You wouldn't know how to do it.

58:56 Everyone needs to know I was offended by that. okay? the word midget in my act, and it's just I think it's a language police issue. No, that's enough. Is bossy really so strong? Listen, man, there's a lot of that that's social. That just means that you've got to stop trying to make everybody even. Right. there's not enough blacks in baseball. I think there's certain issues with

1:03:01 are playing polo? You might want to look into polo. Yeah. There's not enough. And then if you say, like, when transgender We did talk about that woman who used to be a man who's six foot six and 50 years old So this man lived as a man, played sports as a man, lived to be 50, You know who's now a woman who's 50 right who's been had full testosterone?

1:05:32 And by the way, a lot of fucking transgender people have an issue with that. They just can't wait to get upset. And you're in pain. but it took years. There's no other alternatives, though. I had ACL reconstruction. See, that's a really interesting question. You're why poppin pain pills like tic-tacs. I like you look at someone like that and you're just like,

1:08:33 But then some folks, they get this surgery and what they're doing is they're taking your Was saying that what the fuck that your average-sized people don't have to go through. Yeah, where it's curved on the very bottom oh no cuz stenosis is a short like a shortening of the nerve canal okay I had what's called a dome osteotomy, where they carve a dome shape into my bone.

1:10:51 yeah. Yeah. It doesn't exist. Dude, I'm 4'4". We've all seen some pretty ugly comics that have hot chicks. Is this it? Yeah, just play the volume of it so we can listen to it. Ooooooh. Oh my goodness. And hear what he says here. This time, it's the operation in reverse. First, the struts are removed. has finally come. Whoa. Look at this shit. Four inches.

1:14:18 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a year at least or like between 8 to 12 like 8 to 14 months of doing that for four freaking inches become, like, a normal-looking person. It would have to be a thing where you're in just constant She's only lengthened her shins Three foot ten inches tall. using technology developed in Southern California. That's pretty $100,000.

1:17:37 Yeah. understand the things that drive these people to do it because and like for me There's people that are beautiful that fuck with their face. Right. I wish my shoulders were like this. So what they do is they inject their body with this oil. Look at this guy. Not only do they look weird and crazy, but it's totally out of proportion. There's a lot of women like that, man.

1:20:19 I know a girl who's ruined her nose, man. It's like, fuck, don't do that. aren't big enough. foot four and i'm and i'm a guy and i'm like do you realize what i would do to be five foot four dwarfism. A lot of dwarves are like, a good career with the I don't understand that. Is amazing. supportive way like he would fuck with me but then say okay I just insulted you

1:24:09 And they called my dad, they're like, we're gonna comment. I've had what you want when you were just a regular guy at the mall. this guy came up with his kid Right. You've been really good. He's like, I really want a bike. No! The Mexican pointy shoes Cause if it's like a fucking That guy works for Santa I heard, fuck, I forgot what show it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:27:58 People didn't know how to, you know, people get upset at things and they overreact and I think it's a lack of problems. Your your career is being a cunt online. Picketing, you have to actually do something. when you want online is just find other cunts and you know you gravitate through forums or you know But this idea that you... Mall Cop 2, more power to you.

1:30:44 In terms of the feud that you had with Ned, some people are like, you have to be either a Joe Rogan fan or a Carlos Mencia fan. Yeah, okay. Oh, you're getting those from the tweets. me cuz I love kiss fuck off the pixies can suck it such a simple band they Sade. I go into my car, I play Katy Perry's Firework, I roll down the window, Oh, it was Barry Crimmins.

1:33:04 Like, are you listening to this? That's Barry Kremens, and I don't know, what are they doing with their pose there? He was already an established comedian. good points and also he he'll tweet some great articles and stuff and different things but uh That's standup related. loves misery or something like that. Yeah. I don't have to explore that. I don't think there's a problem with exploring

1:35:31 Sure. He's not in the band anymore, right? it was. And goddammit, dude, sings some of it, like to change the sound He's on something Yeah, oh my god, he's tripping You saw like jumping around and moving. He's showing up to some, yeah, He's showing up to some private party. That's great. producing it at a very very high level that that's that's one thing i definitely would say i don't

1:39:10 you you say funny shit and then you realize i could be funny yeah holy fuck yeah like the next of and now and now we can be friends like now we can move on past that uh so that's like something You're fine. and I was like, I was in, man. they come to you and they say, and he's freaking out, and he's trying to get, material, but Yeah. They focus on all the most ridiculous shit that the guy does.

1:42:24 you've got to kind of do a guy who's you know, they had the one scene at a Caroline's where I don't know who the comic was. Where like he was doing his costume changes on stage at, yeah, I think it was Caroline's. You'll be fine. you know, yeah, I steal. But that's all I know about that documentary. quitting i'm not doing this anymore I wasn't around the scene.

1:45:19 People get addicted to killing, and they want to kill all the time. And because what is most important to them is adulation and love. is way more important than the need to be original they do it to people they don't know, they do it to open open micers they sit in the back room and they write things down and he's not the only one that's There's always something that happens in the news, like Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift.

1:47:34 So you have all these eyes looking to one topic. like, that would be the main focal point. because of that reason of stopping faster. I mean, they just glossed over. By negligence, by pure negligence, while you're smoking a cigarette. What's a Yaris? It's a car. Oh, okay. that's interesting but yeah it was a fuck really yeah but it was the whole thing of where like out

1:49:56 And apparently they didn't even have a relationship with the woman. money from a Yeah. Sure. Yeah. And everyone made the joke that it was all good-looking white women. Did you see Nightcrawler? They're not trying to enlighten you. Just this is the news. why is the news have to be ratings because and it's like you said it's an It's like when you run into most people that you communicate with online.

1:54:15 This and that and that and this and the murder and the death and the cop and the shot and the boy and the gun and the baby and the window. There's too many people. Yeah. You can't. Because they have to look at all events and say, which ones do we want to focus on? And, you know, when you hear them talking in that strange way, the newscasters talk. like, after the last story,

1:56:35 To a black guy? Has there been anything like that, though, that you've said that you didn't know? I didn't know it was I was like, boy, guy, hey, man. So cling to that they won't they won't even exist in another few years after uber yeah so you gotta I couldn't call. And it was $20 more. they're supposed to uh and now with all the latest news and stuff it's gotten more intense but uh

1:59:15 And then they had his logo, like, you know how they had the car logo? What if you have luggage, though? Like, to get someone who's not totally retarded in your car, though. Yeah, Jamie knows. Yeah, no shit. I had seen like some clips from the documentary. And with that, they still have whatever. What's their Twitter handle? 28,000. But like, Well, that's the church.

2:01:44 The same way SeaWorld now has those commercials. You treat him like he's a fucking puzzle piece? This is really wild, man. Well, I'm sure they'll help by to watch the new Nirvana movies on there now yeah yeah yeah I was gonna watch Some of the people's bad experiences with their children and with their families. Kids being taken away and being forced to work on top of a roof of a building.

2:04:08 scientologist i actually don't think he is anymore and i don't live near him anymore Mormons are great. They're really supportive. Do you know the whole deal with Mitt Romney? because Mitt Romney's family is from an Fuck it. Fuck them. They're gone. They're always worried the drug cartels are gonna storm the gates But Mitt Romney's dad always wanted to be president, but couldn't because he wasn't

2:06:49 So, like, some sort of thing where... Yeah, they're at war, apparently, with the drug cartels down there. The Mormon War. Yeah. You know, one week you spend one with one. and like, human beings into it What the fuck? Telling people what they can and can't do with their existence on this planet. No, it doesn't. State because you're all like helping each other out. Yeah, and you're all doing your jobs and wife and together That's very communist right absolutely piling all your money together and sure and then but no one's telling the wife like, you know, right?

2:09:45 You're going to be really good at arts. Yeah, Ken Jeong was a doctor. And he's great at that. that's the the beautiful thing one of the most beautiful things about life is people deciding Oh, yeah, man. being ordered around. Freedom to be submissive what their thing is. This is the world is just filled with stories like that. Did you bring up Peter Dinklage?

2:12:50 Why not, man? Exactly. And you're just sitting there like, oh, God, I want to do that one day. But the thing is... Is this your first On iTunes, they're called Brad Williams Coming Up Short. Woo! All right for you what's that he goes you go on stage and say you can take a bath in a I don't know if it's different. Everybody knows who you are. of so and they have a lot of questions so i go on stage and i address those questions uh but i don't

2:16:13 wouldn't, You know, Like about being a- Like you just start talking about being a little person Yeah, see if you can find that? I think it's on YouTube yeah wow yeah see if you can find that Jamie we'll end with that but yeah he's breathalyze him yeah Yeah, there's a part right after here where he actually shows him driving, I think. So she choked the dude out cold.

2:18:44 Show this part. part is a good part That's awesome No, no no no The steering wheel's good. I got pedal extenders on that that were very small and then the seat moves up a lot gives you some black eyes. friend like an equal you you're just like no you're in the front row your buddy's heckling i say when a comic will go on stage the fuck up. Get this person

2:23:13 Right. Yeah, that's it. Right. Fuck you. Cyclops is wearing Which is really soon. Showtime, Brad Williams. Hopefully in the future, Joe Rogan. There you go. You've never been on a roller coaster?