Joe Rogan Experience #654 — Rich Vos Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Killer whale captivity in Ontario, that's beautiful. Are you kidding me? Is there a hum? Oh. No. In between that. Okay. No, take them off. Let's do this. He's a gangster. Oh, that's the Samsung. I like that phone. now it's not waterproof anymore, of the battery. In like 30 And it's just the most aggravating thing on the planet. in these new phones are incredible the people that make cameras must be so bummed out

3:45 to it and it downloads Do you have any film that you haven't And I met her on Thing. Well, you'd have to be you would have to been like 17 17 And I flew to Florida a couple days to have sex. into the mess. I made it through, you know, the minefields. You. when you talk about traveling and getting laid. and looking at her waist and her tits you're like oh it's gonna be a mess and then when you're done

7:14 It's like, you don't even know until the fog clears. with this girl just i'm telling you i. It was right after my first divorce. You know what I mean? I have a fever. And I took it. She's as damaged as I am. she had to have a major operation, And she lived in Cold Lake. this and that. How can you not fucking... and his wife He was a great guy. your circles stop interacting with each other yeah there was this guy anthony i know and you would

11:57 No, he's doing... And they are setting up in New York Not only is he very smart to things. Especially when it's not that much but if you're broke and you have to make your decisions, you know, there's a lot of people that are broke. I was just watching Well, Joey does and at 7 o'clock That's what he's gonna. Do that's how he's gonna handle it. Yeah, that's the future

13:53 It looks like Victoria Gotti used to live there. Yeah. Because they're corporate. There was an article about them cutting Howard Stern's money. And this was like the second huge loan I think that they did just to kind of bail them out and give them some time but i thought their stock went up i thought they were It can crash. in Twitter right now, though,

15:25 I have funds. I think maybe $2,000. just because all I'm doing is thinking about is this thing. I would have lost. It's the same thing. I've got to throw money over here from here. Look at the floor. So they invested in all this real estate around that area. They know. you know, mark the store in jail for a couple. and do whatever. That was just a Ponzi scheme.

19:35 Right. Because it happened at the same time. But when's enough enough, too? And if you don't keep doing that, then you're losing money because you have stockholders. They're fucking paid 30-something an hour, health insurance, kickbacks from whatever they spend there. But you know. They never feel like they're accomplishing anything unless they're making money they don't have a quantifiable score on anything else it's not like you know like if you were doing something else that you really enjoy doing on top of making that

22:55 progress, And I've been to some of his courses. What stories have you heard? I don't know. I feel racial tension in the room. And I'm not pro-Donald Trump or anti or something. After it's over, after he did eight years. All those fucking crazy Christians that take back America, folks. You know, he's not anti, Look at, this isn't fucking Bonnie or Norton correcting me.

25:57 No, rampant or rapid. Rampant. I'm pretty sure. Just in case someone listening is young and impressionable, and they might go use that Okay, so the anti-Semitism throughout Europe. There's a lot of anti-semitism in Europe. Yes. I was talking to Ari about it and been here are we getting these newsletters. We need to get this number down. But this fucking world and country could not survive without Jews.

28:37 Comedy Club, I heard it's a great place. We've won more Nobel Prizes percentage for science and medicine than anybody else. No, no, the Chinese people and Steve Jobs, he did acid. Oh. Jews? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. Do you know what he's talking about? the ones who thought the technology in them. Oh. Jews. Okay. Construction what are you kidding me Fucking co-unity boardwalk Empire

30:35 new American cars are pretty fucking good. It is a great car. The dashboard is like a laptop. your gauge cluster it's all LCDs and then to the right the navigation screens Like all that shit you see where it's two gauges, it's not really two gauges. But I would definitely buy one of these Cadillacs, you know so funny This is true. the whole thing is she's dying.

33:05 All of them can't fuck with this. Do you know that police are using Waze, and they're faking police stops? It doesn't... 24 and 22. That's pretty fucking good for a 22-year-old, isn't it? No, I got a good gig. And you could have up to five phones on it. I've had both Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint compared to T-Mobile in the last six months. But on T-Mobile, it's like 30 upload.

35:40 occasionally I do Periscope from there, They'll get me. It was the best switch I've ever made. I don't know what they have. HD, 4K. they're amazing. Yeah. Jamie, get on it. Might be the Jews. But Nokia sounds Japanese. Whatever Finnish is. Everything Voss is like, didn't you see Trading Places? Rapid discrimination. And we said, and that's okay because they could be.

39:53 cease and desist. Well, I mean, I don't believe in competing. You know. I'm telling you, man. Women Aren't Funny, it's great. Murdered at the Comedy Store last week so hard She's really good. It's very different than yours. you while you guys were doing a podcast? Of course. and I'm not even hard? I'm just getting This is so funny. Are you going to hang on for 20?

43:21 you come? But what I was saying is it's weird that she's concerned not just that a girl's blowing you, But if a girl sucks your dick and you're like, I mean, you might not. married, you know, two weeks, three weeks, whatever, you know, we'd rather, you know, You know the fucking buildup. He's got to be uncut. Put the spear down and suck it. You can imagine it's a guy.

45:44 We don't know them. Yeah. oh my god it was funny they had a suicide bomb once where they the guy run down he had a vest It is fiction. racist guy in a corner. Yes. those fucking people are and ban them from some of the most vile things are said, Kimberly Condon versus PDC. Yes. One was Indian and one was some sloth. It's a joke writing thing. Youssef and I started doing this new material show when you go up there you

49:52 That was last night? He was a shit sandwich served to you on a fucking and a dog dick platter. It was the worst Next Wednesday I got Dane Cook we were talking about this, that comedy is Amazing time it is there's so many And other states can do it. You know, what's his name? Monsters. And they never left. the people go, made so much fucking money in Oregon. What am I doing here with this

53:11 Right. Did you go sell the coke or just do it? Did you ever take coke and cut it with like 16 ounces a pound. How many ounces is 20? Metric system? Millimeter? You can tell me. Centimeter? Okay, I might make a mistake on words. You don't know grams. I don't know. I don't know. I guess maybe this much. This, so it's like two of those, right? Oh, okay.

54:47 An ounce or an 8-ball? Which one's an ounce? Far right? What does that say on the scale? What does that say on the scale? That's not an ounce. The far right? Far right? Wow, that's a lot. Okay. And my mother was gone for a mean, fucking as good as you can get. Okay. He fell asleep, and I took his fucking Coke. stories. I'll tell you two other ones that are funny. He fell asleep

56:00 strong and you know I took like So at the end, it was just lactose. He goes, we're going to do a gram, which leaves two and a half grams left. There's two and a half grams left that he's going to sell to get his money back. There's a way to cook it. Right. poured the ammonia out The guy's going, why does this guy keep coming in every hour? I stole, I paid him back, but I just stole it.

59:32 And then the running would, you know, into New York. It counteracts it. Have you done Coke? Are you kidding me? Like you'd go to Times Square, there was peep booths, it was dirty, it was a dangerous spot. You know I was smoking so much one night my dick shriveled up so much These fucking peep booths But she'd watch Maybe go ah ooh you know Right. And she would like just walk for you or something? No, couldn't touch you, but she watched.

1:02:18 Are you kidding me? In one of the booths now, there's curtains on the And this hand was moving fucking fast. Well, you know, as a judge. Like $25. how could you possibly get kicked out of a peep booth? It's kind of crazy. No. maybe a 12-step meeting She said, okay. But I mean, did you know she was a prostitute? But you got to show it. You know, no couple.

1:06:05 Right? So, then we get in the car. Huh? Trying to get a real clear picture of what actually happened We're walking through Central Park But this has got to feel good for her. That so sounds like Norton, too. And he goes, yeah. and she's blowing me and whatever and Norton's jerking off and next thing deviant. I didn't do Like a regular radio guy that's as honest about being a pervert and trannies and all the crazy shit that Norton does.

1:10:16 I mean, really have told stories that, you know, I mean, that are like really fucking Right, right. And Norton brings it to a whole otherher level like you say like you know what i mean like uh you know Once in a blue moon, I'll see a little of this, a little of that. He really is. Somehow he attacked me having a Rolex, okay? You know what I'm saying, from asses to watches.

1:12:52 And I'm going, wait, you fucking fat fuck. He goes, you're still thinking about this? Even if you were right, Any of the biggest comics in the world today. Spike Lee liked him, but I guess It wasn't Dev Jam. It was another He deserved it, though. with these comics that aren't in my league Damn, he murdered it on that roast. You know, and that was his whole mindset before even going into the roast.

1:15:57 fucking, from there, there would have been But he was a big, I don't, he wasn't a drug addict. I mean, if he just lost weight and ate healthy and started eating vegetables, he could have It comes with the the best comics on the planet So Patrice wasn't, he was brilliant. Yeah, he's at Ventura Comedy Club, Friday through Sunday. Like Stan Hope, I think is fucking a genius.

1:18:03 Like Stan Hope lives in Bisbee, Arizona in the middle of fucking nowhere in a multicolored Then drive to Bisbee. Wearing those ironic suits. And he's like, I guys pretending to not give a fuck. Yeah. Stanhope is that guy, you know, wearing those ironic suits. Joe Diaz Stan Hope Hope, and me. visit Doug Stan Hope, you can't miss it. promotions where he was like,

1:20:13 He's got pebbles instead of Yeah. Because he has a podcast now. Yeah. or whatever the fuck the deal is. But he doesn't usually is we saw him once in L.A. to watch him in Philly That's why you should wear What I'm saying, okay? have to connect with... Right on the you know focused right but someone I may I can't I he is just so smart But you're saying if it's not comfortable, then you're not taking in everything that's being said because you're not comfortable.

1:24:07 Okay, my point was the fucking guy is brilliant. and then they have the top seating awesome then they'd have the bar area was filled with people and, you know, those So you can't be too comfortable. A little bit, but I think the idea behind Letterman was that when you are cold, you have a little bit more energy. Are you there on Sunday, too? That's like two hours.

1:26:43 With traffic? There's no traffic on Sunday morning MapQuest. No, no, no. With traffic. On the 5, take the 5 Sunday morning. Perfect weather. But look at the distance. forward to my day at Ventura, California. It's an hour and two minutes without traffic, which is adorable. But I've never been there. stuff. You do what? When I become like Dennis Miller, becomes an old conservative man with a radio show.

1:28:50 I mean, you can't do it exclusively. States? That doesn't make sense. Well, what is Well, their mindset is diversified. Well, San Francisco is really diversified. Yeah, with Asians. Well, their mindset is diversified. My jaw dropped. Well, I look at these people in New York that fucking get these apartments crazy that are as big as this table when you're you can you can you'd be able to do more time in places You know when rock walks in he's not he's doing what he wants to do when you know certain comics walk in, you know

1:31:25 for that and I don't want to do that whole trek around doing seven eight sets It's like, what? because there's no way this old cocksucker like if, I heard about that. where's so yeah yeah yeah it's it's the san francisco area yeah is it up yeah it's up Because you do on Tuesday. Sirius is in the city? Yeah, in the the city here and there. Because you do on Tuesday.

1:34:00 or if I got, you know what I mean, to be with my kid How's the crowd at the Stress Factory on those nights? Bananas. It's closed? When was this? It was either New Jersey or upstate New York. That's a Chinese restaurant. I do a new, well, Jersey has, there's a place, Uncle Vinny's. They show up with a bottle of wine? You know, they'll open the door.

1:36:48 Just come on down Yeah I usually do either the pay-per-views or the Fox gigs, the big Fox gigs. It's so sad to go back and see. Those guys were doing the same act for fucking decades. Same act. You're right. between a year and a year and a half, She puts out an hour every two hours. Stories about her tramps, and then the last six months, you're just fucking sharpening that sword.

1:40:01 Get it all together. DiPaolo Everybody, when you get to a certain level, has a lot of, yeah, that's great, that's great, that's yes. And obviously Jenny knew what he was talking about because he was one of the best fucking comics in history. How could you not think this guy, he... I really did. Because I remember Open Micros will go up and do one minute, and then it'll be like Don Marrera, Tony Hinchcliffe,

1:42:46 You're crying and laughing. I think we did that in New York. You know, because they're just going to have false hope. your voice until who knows when. You just got to keep going. For any of the things you did. It just had different eyes on him. and another director, And if he didn't like it, you'd go, mm, you know. Whoever wants to come, I'll be there.

1:45:48 right there. I sent mine in, for Bieber. She knows how to write. Well, that's one of the reasons why his career has lasted so long, Kennison, I think in 86, if he wasn't the greatest of all time, he's like, it's him in prior. know what I did I heard one of those albums and I'm going, but he was way ahead of his time, you know, when it came to such edgy fucking material.

1:48:06 I don't know who worked with him on his specials. I go, if you want to stop, in you know he stopped in on Saturday this was We paid. You know, when you're Chris Rock and you're Seinfeld or Louis, you know and then and but but you watch him and and it's brilliant. He could talk. He fucking loves comedy. Do you write, like, in front of a computer, on a piece of paper, or do you just write on stage?

1:51:08 from being on stage to like sit down when I was on I wrote I wrote stuff And it comes on at night. or people saying controversial things on it, Very bright. What is like her big issues? show in so long, but You know, two emails. Old Democrats that live in the city, is that what it is? You know, so her... yeah what the fuck is he doing a podcast because it doesn't even be a good podcast tough crowd

1:54:40 I guess stand-up is too easy for him, or he's not saying anything he wants to say. to him when i was driving here he i go you done with your thing he goes yeah and he a book deal You know what I mean? Like, you're missing what he's doing. That's funny. He good he is on Twitter. So, yeah, Colin. He was left. anti the hypocrisy of the left that's what i that's completely the their heads yeah because

1:58:06 like, we, Patriots versus the fucking Steelers or something. You haven't lived long enough to know. intellect. Well, I thought he was He's a very smart person. It's a business. He fucking captivates. But all that other stuff is bullshit. Obama just, if you look at him on paper, first of all, the stuff that he's done against whistleblowers, Chelsea Handler.

2:01:27 Not even Clinton. Not even Chelsea Clinton. Because their informants are what are giving them numbers. on the actual government themselves. or beaten up by the cops or that Eric Gardner guy getting choked to death in New York. every fucking time you see now there's a cop doing something wrong or doing this wrong or doing you're not seeing, you know, four fucking criminals walking down the street.

2:03:53 That's what's headlines are. You got fucking people, people in, you know, it's got to be in the hundreds of thousands of interactions every day so these glaring instances And you're going to find things to focus on. Unfucking watchable. But do you this? Oh, the choke? Yeah. It was unfucking watchable. That's fucked up. They're doing that because they want to make money and they want these cops to write tickets. They use cops to make arrests. They have quotas. That's fucked up.

2:06:30 firemen wouldn't have to... If anybody ever ran for mayor and said, They would welcome that. Like, the whole point of having a police presence is people realize, oh, there's cops. I know cops. But without a doubt, there's a lot of pressure has involved these civil forfeiture cases it's disgusting man well here's one of them Even if they made money from selling drugs.

2:09:27 have it on the books that they're allowed to take money no matter what you do. No matter what you do, If you have 500 people, you've got five idiots no matter what you do. that are just dumb as shit. Look, if they want to take your property They've started to rescind those laws. You find $16,000 isn't that much fucking money. because they decided it was reasonably suspicious.

2:11:26 a lot of times they wind up being fucking legal criminals. Less than half a percent interest, but when you take out a loan, you're paying what? There's a big difference between that and someone stealing your money when they pull you over because they decide you shouldn't have $10,000 on you. gonna distrust them forever because you ruined his life for a long period of

2:13:07 You don't know the struggles. But you will never see the story of the cops that went in and stopped a gang war Doing that you got to be very careful of the power that you give people because it's very difficult to take that power back No, no, I was just going to use five cops as an example. I'm going to try to do something good today. It's the fucking people that give them laws,

2:15:43 and some asshole with a fucking chip you know, a chip on his shoulder You let them on paper. And you're giving them a legal precedent. Yes, it is profiling. It was a New York City law. If you're going through That's fucked up. Okay, since 9-11, they have caught a lot of fucking people. It's a famous case. You can convince people. And guess what? Profiling

2:19:14 And may have never even made contact with those kind of people in the first place. They're trying to do good, the vast majority. But how come you don't hear about... 89%. You know what happens out of this? I fall into Jews. That was right after... What was 2011? But guess what? What do you mean? Did this start right after 9-11? Who was mayor? Was it Giuliani?

2:22:04 And it makes you wonder like whites, Jews, Should there be racial profiling towards Middle Easterns? are in the Middle East? I know. history, before 9-11 9-11 would have never happened i mean if you they would have just taken those So how come none of these fucking CEOs or heads of these airlines said, we fucking locked the pilots in? I mean, that's insane.

2:25:20 Yeah. I don't know anybody Why is there not one parachute on the plane though that you would be fine and that you crashes, hit their head on the You know, when they catch guys who die in motorcycle accidents, they call them squids. Oh, man, like a turban. How come, Roast battle. I'll have you guys both in studio together, and we'll promote it. Chaos.

2:28:25 Love you, buddy. Rich Voss will be at the Ventura Comedy Club Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.