Joe Rogan Experience #656 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 A Twitter campaign for me. Guys! Y. It's a They're trying to make me a woman. I know what they're doing. That long, aquiline nose. And my name is Joseph Michael My mother had a cool name but she didn't like it is Rose. Grandfather's name is Dominic. So those are normal names. Victoria. Michael. Yeah. know her name was Asanta until I was in high school.

2:11 I have this strange reaction, and it's not a positive one, whenever a celebrity in Hollywood names their kids something really cool. Yeah, I think you're probably on to something. maybe you feel the pressure to name your kid something very different i don't know yeah i They're not doing it for the utility of yoga, like where you're working something out,

4:19 That's kind of what I think we react to. It's fucking protein and water. right oh somebody told me they did some foot thing where they put you in a foot bath and And that brown stuff is coming out of your feet, and they make a lot of money that way. and they show that you're retarded. and put another compound in That's really bad. I love them. And then they'll play with words and they'll say, it's not about doing, it's kind of about allowing.

7:52 Or it's a piece of identity. Yeah, are you just trying to get people to listen to you because that's what it kind of seems like You know why they love that? We don't encounter enough disease We don't encounter enough sadness to make ourselves aware of the special moment that you have when you've achieved peace the problem with that is that when you

10:37 comedian. You've been doing standup comedy for more than a decade professionally. You're hilarious. You know, and if you like wearing dresses and ball I do that all the time. You fucking dummy. I think life is a lot like standup in that sense. and organically the same way people gravitate towards jobs. I watched him at his school play, whatever, and he's not even four.

13:07 And my wife was like, you know, this is crazy and this is bad. And he sees the world very differently. And he'd way rather be doing this thing over here. And, you know, I kind of looked, I was like, I thought to myself, I've always been the exact same way. I've always been that way. I've always... nothing worse than seeing i don't know 16 three and a half year olds trying to sing a song yeah

14:34 It's like their kid gets to be a star for a brief moment in time. let's just pause for a second. Sorry, dude. For real man shit. Helps preserve a great deal of habitat day you're driving down the street, you're passing And nobody seems to, it doesn't seem to faze anyone. Yeah. When you and I went to I've ever gotten from you. I just get this random message. Hey, hey, hey, it's Joe

18:04 Just laughing. Maybe I feel so alone or I feel like what it would be like to live Obviously, you can't tune into someone's cell phone with your fucking brain, So I was gonna say and we'll forget about you the moment you stop existing. You're so insignificant So and you're so insignificant. Yeah, and I think a lot of my sadness came from feeling like

20:16 Well, many things, obviously. I just do not think it's good for you. venture, you couldn't venture too far. The other thing about where we were, especially in Prince The mountain goat If that happens you're most likely dead. He already shot it? Yeah, it was down and wounded I did not have a sense of how truly big they are 1400 pounds 1400 pounds i think i think a horse the average horse weighs like 1100 dude it was

24:18 get back to oh you are yeah all right the other thing that i was to say is I think we are, and I want this to be like, I'm trying to be as objective about this as possible. I think this is all a positive thing. where i think the divide comes in there's a there's an anti-masculinity feeling and like that dude i had to do this fucking thing for the ufc yesterday where was a speech about the hall of

26:53 It was, Cause he beat cancer and won a gold medal. And then he, he was like really nice to me, man from crying when I was talking about this guy. Because he beat cancer and won a gold medal. I'm emotional about a lot of shit all the time, man. But all you're hearing about like on a constant basis is the amount of sexual violence I should be mad at you if you rape people that wear dresses.

28:51 Kristen Beck was on our podcast and talk on fighter and kid and talked about All of us said it because you just made fun of people. But somewhere along the line, if you embrace all of that, you'll forget to be interesting. muscles and guns, i.e. Rome, So anytime you, most societies concern themselves almost exclusively with how to control their populations,

31:26 been put in place and been there forever. And it just stifles spirit. It stifles ingenuity, You know, these people have a voice now and you start thinking of them as people as opposed to like like transgender people never had a community before. he's already done this okay yeah yeah i wouldn't otherwise but he goes well i'm gonna go to the That was good Photoshop.

33:24 Is that what you're saying? Exactly! And I do find it a little weird and a little strange. Was it? Really? yeah that's weird i'm just thinking about he's got kids and i feel for his kids i'm sure they You can make fun of gender. You can't make fun of it because that's that's nonsense then you're you're losing out on free speech And by the way the best way the best way to

35:34 But you don't know what it is until everybody sits down talks about it like why is this kid want so much fucking attention? You're probably going to need lawyers, but you can dogs. And you could say that, and Anger towards them because of sex or gender becomes very charged. Yeah, very char he was an elegant man. Oh yeah, what i'll put i'll put them all in my mouth whoa i thought i talked about on my podcast

37:50 Like stretched out ligaments or some shit. Like racial hate is very similar in a way. But that's also because there's so many white shows. True. We have the power. That's why things can't be cut and dry. lot of nonsense when it comes to that stuff and i think all that's like again that's starting to I worry more about whenever you're trying to empower a group of people

41:05 And he goes, it's unnatural. So that you know it's not unnatural. with different women even if they're single because they'll be called a creep they'll be And if you do, It's like, Like, she was empowered. less of the women after he was done with them, you would go, what a piece of shit. no backlash whatsoever. It is fascinating fucking throw their phone away. Delete, delete all of their text messages from your phone,

44:13 There's girls out there like that. I would think it would be so funny. I've had it done to myself, to me, maybe three times. Because I was listening to this radio show and they were talking about how he underwent a 12-hour surgery to change his face, more feminize it. Well, what if he wins? He's not interesting to me. and everything i went more power to you if you want to do that. But that feels a little bit like spectacle.

46:21 Everything outside of that is not interesting. Just, it's a really bizarre way to like put yourself out there, right? Right. I love that bit you do. Meanwhile, that bit, I got, I was watching, It's good. It was really fun. I know people that change genders and they're very happy. Fuck, man. Right. And actually some who would actually kill you. There's parts of America, I'm sure, where that's absolutely true.

49:29 He's just being weird. Well, that's also kind of always how I've looked at things, people that have a situation like that You know, have those conversations with people. along those lines. You have to be are doing podcasts that are turning them When I was opening for you on your show, that a lot of guys don't have that opportunity is you get to just be yourself.

52:02 What acting is all the time is getting chosen. they get angry about the business about the way the business is changing in a weird way It was the end all is a holy grail. Yep. Like, the end result. I worked so hard at acting. I agree. Communicating with them is very frustrating, and they're stressed out all the time. Yeah. they don't even have Yep.

55:31 I think we're in the middle of the storm, weren't aware of that they weren't aware of the bronze age then the metal age and all that so Foundation that he created to go and build wells for the pygmies, you know It made me like acutely aware of that because being in that environment, that could be like becomes normal. That mean when you're talking about the movement of information,

58:39 whatever the fuck it is. unprecedented way somebody who was gay generally, usually will say, I've always been attracted to the same sex. Yeah. It's a crazy picture Jamie see if you could pull it up. It's uh, it's on my my Twitter feed somewhere not that far down It hasn't been that long. then in war and that that's a really interesting point because the the romans and the mongols

1:02:46 our Russian people that are there. No matter who you're talking to, no matter what country and Romans are better. with that attitude, The great con runs everything. Like they were doing the study on chimps and they have a lot of evidence. was because we didn't know any better and that it wasn't a natural impulse. Well, if there's no civilization, if you don't have an infrastructure,

1:06:13 You get competitive. I mean, they filmed it, they set it up. We're a bipolar ape capable of incredible cruelty, incredible kindness, we're also in this constant state of struggle. I'm playing with my belt as I'm talking about this. How many guys do that? and people don't like losing because they think losing is a bad feeling. So they think of competition and competitive people as being negative.

1:09:38 feminist outside of this thing in toronto and she's got red hair and she's screaming at people Right. against gays or transgenders or whatever the fuck it is as soon as you stop treating that person as is destruction. You're destroying how people used to do it. When we came up with the combustion, So, you know, that's the other thing to keep in mind.

1:12:06 You know it becomes this just gigantic contest and some aspects of it They were doing well enough, and I don't remember why. Also, what bankrupt a lot of those companies were their pension plans. So you would Keep in mind, a billion Yeah. Look at those numbers. Yep. I don't really know. we spend more money on per student. of small business people say that's too much. I don't know. But that's actually not the problem.

1:16:06 which means you got to figure out for someone who's banked their entire family's And that's what we have to be careful of. You'll have a robot that's building houses like a human being builds houses. Not just that we're comics, but also that you can't fix that with a robot. not going to figure that out with a computer you're just not not going to figure out why it's

1:18:46 Didn't you have a problem with that, Jamie? They don't exist anymore. There's just not that much of a demand. Dave Grohl's movie called Sound City or something like that, I believe, came out a couple years ago. the technology You have your old schools? Academics come to me because they had listened. Yeah, I have a lot of academics on my podcast the old Brian count show

1:21:30 community, science is fascinating, but they've done a very bad job communicating their message. But when they research something or come to some conclusions, they publish them in these papers or journals. Yeah, he hacked into all these sort of academic papers that were not made public. Scroll down. I feel as though I think Aaron Schwartz I just- The way he went after it was kind of theft.

1:24:40 get some sort of fine for that but the idea of jail time i mean i'm talking about like a five I mean, they threaten him with something terrible. Pub med studies or whatever the fuck they are. It's a long, long podcast. um what it means to modify these foods like these ideas of frankenfoods these ideas of what's He's like yes, I'm concerned like there should be some concern

1:26:57 That's crazy. I don't think it should, but, man, it's a tough argument. That's right. and that's how they're able when it comes to that stuff, Steve Rinella talks about this. it on vegetables to kill bugs and then those vegetables get fed are you washing them before Wait a minute. to a quantity that affects you, Yeah, well, I've got a glass here. Hold on. Start it from the beginning and give us some volume because this is wonderful. It's hilarious. Well, the guy did drink, I don't know if it was Roundup. Watch this. Hold on.

1:30:19 We have some here. So it's dangerous, right? Interview me about golden rice. drinking an entire glass of it oh my god yeah and carried on he goes so here's how dangerous it is central nervous system or something or it causes And then Seven Whoa. basically. Let's get to his dick immediately. Yeah, and she goes successful as fuck he's got an easy bone structure

1:33:15 I was like, God, what was he, like 20? about the way he describes things and processes things. I just wear the same clothing all the time. goldblum yeah even for brief moments like he's good enough that it just hypnotizes you and you're Watch Chinatown with Jack Nicholson. Hank or something? 10 points you know who actually cut his nose no that was roman polanski really that was the

1:35:26 I had an argument with a bunch of fans of his and I said, look, it's fine. How's that not the point it is the point how's that not the point point blood all over the wall on in that guy's mind or life at that point. justify or exonerate him rather from anything terrible that he's done, but That's why the statute of limitations exists, because you're not thought to be that person anymore?

1:38:04 Now he's 45 and is a very different person than when he was 18. Teenage boys have the worst of that. these weird impulses that teenagers have these weird ancient fucking primate in the krakow ghettos uh he wasn't in like uh now the Krakow ghettos but let me give you an example weeks until all the Jewish children were abruptly expelled yep god that's gotta

1:40:57 And again, this doesn't exist. I mean, he obviously went through a bunch of horrendous shit. You know, today you would say it would be 25 years at least, right? Oh, that's interesting. circumstantial law so you know natural law would say whatever the case what you did was out of the I can park my chariot there. And the guy goes, all right, well, here's a warning. Don't do it

1:44:13 you knew that was right or wrong. That's a very important aspect of law. It's something that that if an adult has sex with a It's insane. The Silk Road as in these people that were using it were not him. Life. this sort of secret tunnel to... I'm surprised that they weren't able to argue, create a better defense for him. they arrested him and prosecuted him in a federal court. When they get you in a federal court,

1:47:58 I was selling it legally through this proposition and you they can't say that so he went to jail and how many people die from drinking too much water. And the fact that people will go to jail for that and have gone to jail for that is stupid as fuck. Lobbyists when it comes to prison guard groups that want to keep their jobs. There are just too many vested interests in, you know,

1:49:56 Well, it's also the fact that we were talking about before where you don't have to account for all the money that you give them. Yeah. I was going to say, 50% of my day is spent working for someone else. Passing laws and enforcing those laws and taxing. always does two things. Who wouldn't want that? I do. It's like the Patriot Act. Yeah. It's the intention. Now,

1:52:21 Some people start out in bad jobs. But there's a way to make taxes really fair. that's fine, You don't have to tax everybody. That totally makes sense. You owe trillions to fucking who? Good question. Exactly. Where does your Social Security go when you die? Goddamn. enforce it because it's written down it's a law look it's written right there yeah like even if

1:55:52 Yeah. I'm so fucking If you should, go ahead. If you should die before you begin to get your monthly check, It says on tile other hand. Those people thought the world was flat. Sounds wonderful, but they live in abject poverty. Look at you. You got Irvine tonight? It's her birthday! Something wacky along those lines. All right, you fucks. Ah!