Joe Rogan Experience #67 — Hal Sparks Transcript

Transcript

0:00 We'll see you fainted Instead of go Yes. Isn't C-O-U-P Coop? Double O's says House Sparks. Damn, I don't remember that at all, Whoa, I mean, I guess those are the kind of things you're going to say when you're trying to break through the din of a saturated market. These are all virgins. That's good. I guess it would be a hypothermia. It's like blue, green, it's veiny, it's bloated.

3:01 A lot of them are too, I guess, don't have the ability to see it through. Because serial killers, that well a lot of them a lot of them are too uh i guess don't have the uh Is that why they do it or do they plan on shooting themselves in the first place? Because of the guys who've survived and you just can't jive with this guy. You know what I mean?

4:37 There's a lot of people that just keep running into the walls. I wasn't that far off. I came from the country like Stickville, you know, like Kentucky. And I had that kind of outsider like anger about it. I mean, I got in a bunch of fights the first, like, I had the same situation in my life where I moved around a lot. just fucking take your kids and snatch them out of some place and it's not going to hurt them to just well you're

7:14 And you got over it and I got over it and most kids do get over it. yeah and i spend a good deal of my time entertaining a lot of them. The idea of evolving as a human being and becoming a productive member of society, getting Everything has to bottleneck through their past. Right. When they're not arguing in a real real personal way when it's like you know you you look when

9:40 that would always criticize people's acts and tell them like what are you doing this for man you could? You can do better than this. And the guy liked his act, but his act is like It's too successful is what it is. I was at the UFC and they had a show the night before the UFC. But that's one of those universal, easy to hate, Justin Bieber type things.

11:20 You know how many radio stations there actually are? I don't remember his name, but he performed that paparazzi song. The kid was on Ellen. We'll find out. It was Justin... Grayson We just go. Yes, that's it. Check out these bitches in the audience. there's a girl in the background though listen to this kid's voice got her hand on it yeah she Really?

14:21 And he's in front of a talent contest. He's never had to work for food. That bitch is hypnotized. Or he might just John Meyer this motherfucker. Those little bitches they'd have kids. but it's not the same as what's happening in that song. It just fits. Yeah, it's like a sound freak thing. Well, I had band rehearsal last night It was like we're standing there after

17:12 And I can sit with a guitar and start writing stuff. You're totally committed to what you're saying. especially when you're just in the perfect groove yeah everybody says the same thing too you know i even if that did bang Jennifer Aniston. Relaxed into what he was doing. I love commercials. Oh, my God. Hold on. It's all about tabs. Exactly. I had music on my website too

20:19 Seven years old It's awful. and they decided to turn it into something. Why? Because that's his real voice? You can't live in that zone. That music doesn't... That's not good to me. Doesn't resonate. But it's's how he rocks. That sounds... Yeah, I can't live in that zone. You can't live in that zone. Here's the thing. who do that for a living that smelled like cat piss because my cat used to pee by the door.

22:23 I get these fucking moments where I feel it. And that guy's in the groove, man. Dude, this guy, he's in the groove. Lights on you, microphone A lot of these guys, There's 10,000 hours Probably at 15 years old, they were probably musically as good as they are now, physically, as far as quality of play. through college, always in bands, doing it again and again and again,

24:33 resonates with you. but I always attribute it to success really comes from. it's a guy singing on the piano, and that might not be for you, Captain Jack. Right. Probably. Now, this has been from you. so you've seen a lot of people yeah yeah and and not just my direct family but ancestral roots and Find yourself. But you've got to come back, and it's not your win necessarily.

28:42 I've worked on this for the last 40 years. But in this case, the ferry has rubber bands attached to the end of well, I think it allows you to see. I've lived a huge part of my life without doing it. And the rest of your how you see the world. We look at the idea as some sort of escape or some sort of forbidden fruit or some sort of thing. Why? Thank you.

31:46 release it and i think that release is still available to you without it now uh people may Use two hands to type. There was a concert that they did. There has to be something wrong with you. They just got it right, man. Yeah, it's Dan Madonna. Oh, God. It's just one of the scariest things that ever happened to me. I didn't know how at the time, but I made that decision.

34:39 index finger is he has a a toe and it's permanently curved because you know they couldn't just you It gave me full flexibility in it. So his last three fingers were basically constantly closed. with artificial limbs and artificial skin. It's really, really pretty fucking scary times. Yeah, totally. Yeah, but people have to die. Otherwise, you can't get to the next galaxy.

37:18 And the question will always be, do you stop and pick them up, I think it's a sundial. There's all kinds of – yeah. That's a one being with two bodies. You guys aren't connected anymore. But if you keep pushing your hand in, you realize that they're all from the same thing. and you're like you're doing one you're doing call of duty on one thing and you go back to it later

40:01 some new new ability that we're going to detect, we're going to have rather. will happen for your soul and your spirit that there's not another place beyond this that might No, no, no. As human beings, experiential life. Intentionally? Intentionally. We come here, I think, intentionally limiting our experiential life. But you say, no, right now what I want to do is experience this.

42:08 There's an element of, and there's value to those people coming in going, you guys do realize this is just a movie. Okay. So calm down. There's, conceptually uh i think what we do is when we get too exaggerated, too caught up in the earth plane existence, we go, the whole human race has to reach a pinnacle belief. And if you go, life begins and ends in middle school,

44:07 The goal is to just live in the present. This is all speculation, right? where enough people are thinking, It's controlled. You've got to earn it. Because eventually you go, why am I here? Keeps it focused in the present. All that's developed through discipline. And in the past, I have, and I'm aware of those moments where I was at the edge of my experience,

48:05 You don't have to go to the gym and work out. and sometimes we make it through, and sometimes we fail, Feels right? farms, emotions, sex, drugs, rock and roll, the cocoon sure that everything we're doing is moving us into some new direction everything from the You know what I mean? I'm absolutely not criticizing it. but another wave in a series of similar actions.

52:00 And that those plankton live and die in that period until they evolve past the point where they can either crawl up on shore or go out to sea. years and then you know as you grow into that span and i think right now we're we're then again again and again and we and it's millennia for us but in terms of what life could be it's that I mean, basically, that was 11,000 years ago.

53:48 Yeah, but is that all right? It's how much of it you use and to what coordination but i don't it's really synaptic firing between different areas that court that make it happen right but that whole you only use i would vote for ron paul in a heartbeat for president i believe in that guy well he is i Money is just attention yeah money is just and disaffected attention basically um i what we

56:09 Money is just – it's an intermediary. Well, where you think your attention needs to go. You're not. You're not really. and we just instead where you hire people who are like experienced counselors who are really educated and pay them a good salary so it's a it's a nice job and help help them with kids that are fatherless and you who have been in power for quite some

58:48 And then over here in the West, two kids or less and long lifespans. You know, the complex structure of all the All the shit that's going on down there, you literally can move it. have it all here at once, or it would just be like when people get like i want to be commuted i don't be food for maggots and like dude do you That's where the bells in cemeteries come from.

1:01:26 Oh, my God. A ton of fun. Right. that's a It's not always that experience. Yeah, well, Well, the idea is that that's a gateway. really hear. You just Then the question comes up, is it real, or is it just is he on drugs? You would be like Pris in Blade Runner. Well, you know the idea of it being non-local. or you would flip out there there's something on the other side going look we got it he's going to be in so much pain coming out of this experience into the new experience of being healed and different.

1:05:41 Here you go. That's true. There's some sort of a disease Fuck me. Your body knows it's over. Your body's dealing with an overwhelming number of things a nut. Your body knows it's over. Every fucking sperm in the balls. It might have been part of the sex rights of higher traditions. What made them whores then? It makes it very male-centric bullshit.

1:07:47 so they force getting a blowjob and the lights No clear heels for crossing guards. Yeah, you know, it's an interesting thing to talk about and speculate. Ultimately, this can be a good goddamn time. had it constructed in 12 different languages in case of an apocalypse there's these gigantic Georgia Guidestones. It's true, but there is a certain amount of resources and a certain amount of people,

1:10:31 You're out there flying around in a big ship. the shit that that can fuck you up here except for the big ones like asteroid impacts except for one We have 98% of this world is unexplored in a lot of ways, especially in the oceans. landing on new planets, just starting up a new civilization. 70. 80. For centuries. Yeah. I played have been living there for centuries.

1:12:59 Pre-clothing, nobody really was Did you see that they found a new evidence of the oldest human being? The hard part about it is what people don't understand is that it's not easy when you die, in some unusual way. layers of dirt and how many things might be under there that we're not even aware of. Well, it literally guys will fuck whoever. I wonder if there was somehow another connection.

1:15:20 Just fucking sitting in the back of his pickup truck, Yes, she was threatening. Yes. Hold on. Hal Sparks. an excellent poster West Virginia woman, to eat my pussy, in quotes. to people who don't have it. Sweet. I buy copies just to give people. Because it follows these people in West Virginia who are basically savages. Because literally, you can drive into New York City and be in the future.

1:18:25 Tell me it's not there if you're in Iraq. Really? You didn't know about all this. Armageddon is the battle. Wow. I agree. Where they're always proposing all these nutty concepts. And it's close. It's within Something bigger than Earth. and we got hit by something. That's why it's so gigantic. was that, you know, I guess to make the aliens go, They won't know.

1:21:28 We're the universe's reality show. Gene Simmons. It's Father Knows Best, but with cheaper What I'm really seeing to watch. either off the cuff I don't like those shows. Everybody ends up fucked up again Yeah, in the wrong direction. Exactly. I totally agree i totally agree and i'm not a fan and i'm uh they're like on the edge of suicide and And he's trying to prevent them from dying.

1:24:31 There's a big movement in that direction, and I'm not a fan. and his relationship. I think there are people who drink their way through a problem too and come out the other side arguably with the same result, definitely touch and go i mean you really i mean that's one of the reasons why they go like i have And if he did those things first, it probably would take care of a lot of it.

1:26:16 There's no reason for me to let them even into my head, We have to really wrap our heads around that. I get up and take my yoga class, and I just beat off and take a nap. toes your brain is connected to all those parts evenly as opposed to you know like most of us They've never really had to move their body in any strange way. And isn't it just as amazing watching them get to the point where they can yeah it doesn't take as long as you think but it is it's you're like oh your brain

1:29:05 You counter that movement and apply your own pressure. your body are not fidgeting separately they're in line what do they do in school do they like everybody did was say they were thankful jumping off the roof, Brian? Foxconn? Wrap your head around that, bro. Cut off the internet. They're in a group. Do you write it? Yeah, a decent amount. Gun... I guess with Joe Rogan experience.

1:31:34 Yeah. and learning more, I bought Rosetta Stone when I first started learning it, and it was the original American governmental system. Where is the restaurant? People are learning because they want to learn. Did you ever do stand-up in Chinese? You're going to die. No, I mean, I don't. Never been to any Asian country. Go to Taiwan. they're actually more open than the united states really um but it's a it's and they're

1:34:30 holding on like white knuckle to this bull of uh capitalism of well of just freedom freedom of all You're about that guy in Iran? And then, you know, and you've got... What do you get? Tribes are supposed to be like 50,000 at the max. keep 150 names. than others, and interestingly enough, or what Simon says, Yeah, you can't go past and he was saying that

1:36:39 The average, even moderate society, like a TV weatherman, can meet up to 16,000 people a year. They haven't used their conversational skills with a stranger and expressed themselves in You're freaking me out, man. You'll come back. And the guy was like, you don't even know my fucking name, bro. Right. I just forgot. That's not true. They want to Well, just because

1:39:36 there alone with you excited. yeah how's the uh talking dirty coming along oh you're working on that yeah i've been working on Well, lately I've been modifying it, so I'll let you hear it when I'm done with it. Release the kraken. Shit! Right. No. The alcohol and sex together, just like Jesus Christ. They don't know you. There's a reason why your dick is supposed to be soft when you're drunk, when you can't get it up because you're drunk.

1:42:59 Because you have retard genes. Look at her, she's awful! Let him think he put it on You're here to make garbage men That's right. Do you even know where you are? Break, yeah. Like always say, you know, you going out tonight? I learned that from something about Mary. That's where that hair bit comes from. Do you have the kind of friends that you can talk about jerking off in front of?

1:45:18 If you're around with friends that don't always have to be the hero, they're not always the coolest guy in the room. You're like, I can't fucking breathe. I'm an idiot. everybody does. like there was a story this dude didn't want to admit that a dude blew him right he would have had one of the best stories And over his head, there's an air like a thought bubble.

1:47:38 pun intended that uh they that it just becomes these guys get drunk and then they just pounce Really? But it's different than we experience it over here. Right. Well, I mean, as long as you keep your wits about you, I thought about going there for a few days. Would you bring little kids over And it looks really fucking clean. No, Cambodia's nice. And they're really fucked up.

1:50:28 You'll be in Cambodia. I had an idea that I wrote about a gray area in between states. where there was a mile-long area but he lives in a kind of a boring place, man. Yes. Oh, he's seven miles away from the Mexican border, bro. We fucking know, man. The amount of people that have died just this year, I mean, it's crazy yeah the amount of people that have

1:52:51 I mean, ultimately, this is stuff that happens everywhere. Yeah, well, by the way, the drug money, we're making money from those drugs. regular people, you know, your into this country, they'll look at you like you are some fucking nut. cash itself the cash itself is too much of a marker. of selling crack in the ghettos and using. You know, during that, I mean, that was when they were accused of selling crack in the

1:55:19 Right. But at a certain point, I think ultimately I've had a lot of those conversations Kids aren't being forced to read The whole idea is that we're trying to help them, that you would intentionally indenture They keep moving the goalposts. are these low-walled houses In the middle of their house? Can't not. Yeah. Was that good? And he escapes from the Dungeons of Aquila,

1:58:22 get out of his cage by Well, eventually what they do is they make sure your skull and your hips can't get through. Anyways, But in the Hutongs, We've got to have a hierarchy of some sort. They have to run water out to these dipshit towns that have nothing to offer. that you're going to build yourself. but no but the but yeah no they actually pay off eventually but but that's the good version of it

2:01:05 And it's going to be a creepy period for them. Like, I don't want to be in jail. southern baptists yeah the whole thing is really fast they have religious police like i got them And I'd gone up to the top of the Burj Khalifa, the tower, the tallest building in the world. just start shitting and pissing in my head i'd pass out but it's all dirt it's terrible and i

2:02:35 So – and they don't even – like, the biggest observation deck doesn't even face the water, the Caspian Sea, because they wanted to impress people with what the city looks like. burj dubai on it and it's the same bullshit gift shop crap you'd find at the sears tower I'm like, this motherfucker gives you $10 billion And I was actually trying to say something deferential, respectful to the guy.

2:04:21 So I walk off stage. deal. And then there were business partners and they're here and they're going to take you into custody. but we'll try and talk them down and it might not be a big deal. gonna find me they're gonna find me but i'm gonna go out there and do that shit first and let them Right. Like you were in fucking Wisconsin. I'm assuming she's smiling.

2:07:09 What did he say? What? Yeah. Fuck that. They conflate the two. And every time you were having a great time in Vegas, my act going, is there anything that they're You know, 2 Live Crew, pop that pussy. Abu Dhabi's different. And then when they get there, they take their passports away and give them a fraction of their money. Well, at this point, it was already kind of on its downward arc and i was just curious as

2:09:55 Okay. Yeah, they decided to take dumbest phallus you have ever seen in your life. How is their food court? They better have Starbucks and Cinnabon. Because that's... I've seen a lot of shit. these places overseas and we're there to make sure that we can have freedom here. Yes. But one thing that's been, to me, proven, that even – I don't know what happened on 9-11.

2:12:59 government right group in this country yeah you could pull off almost everything you can count on Three card money. right they're ready yeah what do you what do you think happened on 9-11 what is your feeling i and have to come back. and blah, blah, blah. you know, the Reichstag fire like i think um comedy plus you know tragedy or time plus tragedy equals comedy you know people

2:15:13 there was the Gulf of Tonkin incident. I think the recession was something that could happen at any time because our financial system in this country is a house of cards, as it is in most countries around the world. That's amazing. Oh, because we were genetically programmed to dig it up along with diamonds and other shit. in their atmosphere to protect themselves, because they, in their quest for technology,

2:17:21 if we lost a good percentage of our environment. It doesn't specifically cool the planet in that regard. or light colored roofs. that aren't being used Well, not necessarily. Well, I say we, but human beings will be using it. I really need to do it. I think there's a case for both at the same time. chemtrails you know if you look at chemtrails and you go okay maybe here's what here's what you have

2:20:19 Why not tell people about this? What do you believe? So it's a standard. You've got these planes flying over. It's a maybe. It's necessary to save lots of lives. Every day you're going to drive home from your job at the base, Don't you think Well, I think there are guys this is happening I'm not arguing whether or not this is true. I agree. planes.

2:23:34 Have you really studied these? They all bank around. It's LAX. landing strip. But they never crisscross. supposed to go exactly or where they do go. Let's say, based on a hypothesis, you have soldiers who are told every day because this helps us And then one day that's where the them and then eventually that gets to a smaller and smaller portion of the group that are on a

2:26:27 Yeah, we'll decide to switch the barrels. Sure, absolutely. Who hired who? how it could be so prevalent it just seems silly to me it seems like you would have too much fluid Yeah, or you need to do it during sunlight hours. on a secret level that's actually important. Because if you start talking about like Tower 7, what happened with Tower 7? of taking a force directly on let me look at it from this angle this angle this angle and this

2:30:01 whether it was fake or real whether it was staged or an actual attack. And then you come up against something that doesn't fit. You can believe that stuff. Be aware. Yeah, really? Awesome, good, intelligent conversation with Mr. Hal Sparks. The Brixton? And then I think we're doing Whiskey or Key Club in February as well. And they could find all this stuff on your website?

2:32:47 It's the perfect length. She lost her dog, man. and sad that she loves her dog and sad It's awesome for shooting loads into. Full death squad. We're having the UFC podcast tomorrow. and Joey fucking Diaz are going to be doing commentary on the fights. going on red band sam tripoli and joey fucking diaz are going to be we're gonna we'll do it that way. Fuck, that's going to be fun.

2:35:14 a fucking killer show. That's standing shit hurts, your fucking neck is cracking. Buy it, you whores. She doesn't even follow me. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.