Joe Rogan Experience #671 — Brendan Schaub & Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 I would argue and I agree and I think you'd end up just What was that hard copy or something like that he was on? I don't know. I read two of his books and I read two of Ann Isn't Donald Trump saying similar stuff? Like he's just trying to stand out. Donald just kind of looked at Teddy Demme at the time, who was the director of the late And Anderson Cooper was like, you know, financially, you know, how much money have you lost?

2:31 he wrote the theme song to Jeopardy and weird shit. You get paid every time it plays. I met him. Ferociously. We were in his beach house. Were you wearing I just said. Were you wearing flip flops? Yeah. Right. it's like the people that call aren't human and he's not human it's like a totally different He's another guy I spent a week with. I did this TV show that I hosted.

4:50 He's a small guy, very small, about 135 pounds. Come on. I'm pretty good at that stuff. He's 5'8". I didn't like what it was. presented it to me. And that's how the audition was. And I got there and they, all of a sudden He's a robot. man. Not my type of dude. We're getting nowhere with this, is what You're not gonna get any fucking drunk We'll take the next caller.

7:44 He's an odd dude. But he used to be's Donut Tuesdays, everybody. Yeah, he's an odd dude. With American Idol. He has a persona now, right? You know what? Can't be my friend. If you don't have some live. Well, not for me or you. Nah, can't be my friend. You know what? The minute I hear there's like a little fucking darkness, I'm like, well, there we go, sir.

9:09 There used to be this guy About girls And I was like, hey, back off. I remember in high school, there was this guy. You, sir, are ISIS. out do you talk dirty yeah you guys you immediately start fucking you wear a It was like, parlez-vous français? It's very important to be able to trust dudes. That fat ass for $1,000 You could have hobbit feet Super common.

12:24 That's not too weird. That's weird. Okay. my friend went to have lunch at his house and he had just hot as shit. There's something to be said for that life. and they have these younger dudes Well, it's not that they're into older dudes. You're going to work. They have to. And the doctor had in the contract that you have to give them a blow job a certain time during the day.

14:51 Very recent. No, that girl It was me. I'm a doctor of D'Arce jokes. But that's prostitution Maybe. Like the Patriot Act? Yeah. that wanted a guy to eat her pussy every Yeah. But with all the laws against sexual harassment, I just highly doubt it. You don't have to have sex in a marriage. We both know quite a few families like that. And now she wants for the next,

18:02 it goes a year. Like more than ten years. He was really hard because he has a son and he loves his kid and he wasn't having sex with his wife He hadn't had sex with her for over a year. See that to me is already like Like, when I was back in Denver, my buddies, I was like, hey, let's go out. acting like thank god for the podcast and stand-up i can't imagine having to worry about making my

19:57 No one is ever going to write you correctly. What you are is this weird free spirit who grew up all over the world. I just want to know auditions. Those are the only two auditions I ever did. that went to syndication. and he goes, I was going to do it with Artie And you're going to write, just married. Like Floyd Mayweather? want you to write just married on this piece of paper i go if we were on the set and you wanted

22:51 And I left. I think you're one of the only guys who can pull that off. what happens is it's such a collaborative effort. that were on The Simpsons and Married With Children. It's easier to work a job feel bad yeah after it's over you don't feel like you're selling your soul well you know when to get jobs. Sometimes I got them. Most of the time I didn't didn't but i even when i've landed big jobs

25:51 What do you mean? Yeah, man. It's true, bro. and I'm fucking good. Like my friend Steven Root from NewsRadio. he's always working. And he loves There's some guys who love that shit Don't say it. I'm just kidding. You know what the thing is? There I said it. You would be a skeleton. Explain that to me. Okay, but is there an argument to be made Andy Foster is the

29:37 But he suspended Shlomenko for three fucking years. 100%. Well, no, but he can get out of California and fight. ran away from the test, which, by the way, Vanderlei's had some crazy wars, and he's an all-time scar. Like, there's some close-up Nah, John Fitch, I was like, ah, whatever. They're not going to be able to compete. I think what you're going to see is, you know, it's not possible.

32:16 their whole life. Look at me. I know. I agree. I mean, Mark Hunt hits as hard as fucking anybody. And he was so hyped up about the rematch that he had Jesse from Roots of Fight He's a good fighter. I mean, you watch his knockout of over him i want to see that guy You can get guys not doing shit, and you can get some bullshit fights. I feel like if I were a – like if I had a favorite baseball player,

34:37 He got up in age, Because fighting hurts the other guy? They could wind up winning. Like, no one knows better than you that the amount of training that you have to do in You got that fucking engine red line, and you can only do it for so long and Yes. But when BJ talked about it, he's like, we got to see all-time great BJ Penn. I got a fucking BJ Penn jacket, motherfucker.

37:12 It's a fight style. a lighter guy and he's always in the gym yeah But he's saying when five weeks out, he's A lot of guys are going to be forced to, but also, you're going to into overtime or whatever, that's such a long time. I don't know how you get in that kind of shape. supplements yeah but there's a lot of guys that don't take anything yeah I was watching Chris Camozzi versus Jacare, the second fight.

39:33 Game as they come. Yeah, I mean, he'll just manhandle you. That's a good question. Longer than it's supposed to be that leverage makes you insanely strong. It's just his he's just got so much jujitsu He'll beat the fuck out of a lot of dudes It's a good question. Yeah, but just because you're not Yoel Romero And you won't get that. You're not going to get it. You just can't get it. There's also some people like genetically have power. Yes.

42:12 These Mike Tyson characters. get hit, in my opinion, he's the during those few years where he was redlined Body shots. With a right hand. I'm going to get to the power thing, He's a better boxer. Let's say I'm the 50th ranked fighter in the UFC. You're getting hurt all the time. You're getting battered And then he gets hurt, what, 12 days? Really? Do you think

45:23 Why did they choose Chad Mendes over this? Goes after guys. I think Chad Mendes easily could be as big a star as Conor McGregor. Chad Mendes got beat twice by Jose Aldo. He's lost to him twice true, but so then he beats look let's say worst case scenario for the UFC if I'm the UFC marketing team Conor goes in there. I disagree, brother. ticket sales spiked.

47:39 You have Chad Mendes favored in this fight. And what he's doing with his kicks in a lot of ways is creating patterns to come in and blast you with punches. He's got beautiful... I think for the UFC he would be if he wins this next fight. He's on a horse. Has he been as vocal? I want him to win. I think for the UFC, I'm going to tell you the truth. I'm not asking you to pick, Joe.

49:23 I think it's really hard. It's real hard when your friends fight. Real, I'm like, I thought you got it. And then, you know, I think it's really hard. But I'm friends with a lot of guys that fight. to that criticism and I'm go I think they got some good points you know so I the Stefan Bonner fight. But Conor, I'm like excited. Right. He's a bad motherfucker.

51:11 Nick? Both have good hands. He's another 145, but 145 is deep. Jose Aldo is never easy. his leg kicks are as good as anybody that's ever lived. has a different kind of kick. It's so fast. He's fast. He wanted to bet Dana White? Yeah, but then if Chad Mendes gets into the third round backtracking. I haven't heard when Chad Mendes has been laughing at him, though.

53:18 That's so fucking crazy. Chad Mendes is a legit super athlete. Yeah, watch. His second fight with Jose Aldo, if I could make one fight and put it to the future, like It was to the wire. It is so incredible. To the wire of the best fights in UFC history. It was a great fight. It was a phenomenal fight, man. It was to the wire with the best. Just as a, yeah.

54:27 I have Jose Aldo over him. Aldo's a big cut, bro. I saw Mighty Mouse walking in Seattle Airport, and it was just there I was, the world champion of the UFC, 135 is hard for him, I guarantee because he's thick. He's a little thick Mighty Mouse. He'll spin around behind you. I guarantee 135 is hard for him. He's the best. With his style. a lot of that ability just to insane speed.

56:11 But when he was in his prime, he was 220 pounds. That's a very rare example of a huge guy who moved like a small guy. Sometimes I feel like an asshole. I went, I forgot what I was wearing. I didn't make the fucking shirt. He authorized the sale of that shirt. Yeah. Here you go. I'm just saying... Yeah, man. His former fiance, or wife, former fiance, right?

58:41 If you guys haven't seen it, it's horrible. If I'm really attempting to choke her, she's dead. What's going on here? Fucking go for a jiu-jitsu. Yeah, you were alone. I just don't understand. Was he handed money? He's always cool to me. I really like her. Oh, she'd be happy to do that super. She's always been so it's been like a right like a down-to-earth. She's fine

1:01:09 Dude, he's out on a million dollars bail. Oh, here we go, the white knight. No, but... What are the circumstances? you put your hands on her? Hey, She's got a knife and she's trying to kill you. Okay. And your life and you hit her that's what was happening we don't know heard that you It does not matter. I'm not punching her back. I would never touch her. I would headbutt her solar plexus.

1:03:16 Put that body triangle on her. She tried to take my head off with a boot. there and he said i saw he said he saw the whole thing and this is where i'm just let me hear me Somebody else saw only Here's the problem. And my buddy came to my defense down. And I was holding her physically down, trying to protect myself by holding her down. about Brittany anymore. We're talking about Travis now.

1:05:46 If he did beat her, if he did and he did more than once, you've got to cut him. Exactly. It does happen. Hey, Billy girl hitter. Whether it's the exception or not, it's not the point. Well, how about this fucking guy in Virginia? I'll tell you who's up for it, but we're not. The public jumps on it right away. a giant so big He's a giant. We don't know.

1:08:12 That's fucked up, man. is the only way i can protect she said she was embarrassed that she waited so long yeah man and If that's his thing, take your ass there. No. Not my friend. No, I'm just saying. I know. Cops fucking hate going to domestic violence cases. Think about it, bro. And I was like, and physically, I'm going to stab your face. Hey, man.

1:11:16 Stabbing anywhere sucks a dick. Nah, I'll take my chances. Well, then where do I go? feelings. He was like, Joe Rogan shouldn't When you joke around, also, there's a difference between listen to you talk in context of a full conversation There's some nerves there, man. me. Yeah, just fucking antiseptic and very sort of sanitized. Underneath the neck, underneath the neck on anybody with a fresh Ken Shamrock.

1:14:14 Yeah, the history of it. fights from pancreas that He was a fucking pioneer. Eric Silva had a deep choke on him, and like whatever yeah, you know high-level guys even in Japan, right before that. that wound up being really big fighters, and a lot of it was under his tutelage. Yeah. If he was a pioneer in any other sport, if he's a pioneer as a NASCAR driver,

1:16:35 And one thing that I like that he said is, He's all fucked up. Oh, hey, shop. He shames me with his with his I don't know JoLynn just his character could be president. I know Sonan said that? Perfect set of pause. Gibblert. It's not their world. It's hard enough as it is. We've talked about this before on here. If I'm It's also expensive. So I watch all their videos that they're putting up of training footage and all this different shit.

1:19:45 But now think if you're wearing a shirt that you approve and you designed and you're winning all those videos. My trainer, Justin, his arms are so fucked up. Because they're super thick. Make your own shit. like, there's a sea of Fighter and the Kid shirts. I get that. And I go, bro, why would you have your fans pay $95 for this Reebok shirt? They're trying to play ball.

1:21:47 Do your own revenue shit, man. Why depend on that when you can create your own going to be real hard to push a podcast And at the same time, you've got What's it called? I hate it. They wanted you to do it for free? No, but if you do a live podcast, I'm not doing, you know what I'm saying? It's a different scenario. Why would you not record it and put it out?

1:24:07 if there's a soundboard Am I right? They asked me to do a podcast And we offer, listen, name an athlete that's been in the UFC who's been more open. You're your own. It's important. It's hard to find. growing. You know, there's still some And maybe they're right. who knows? He's not young. No. A guy like DC, he's not young. No. Mitrione, not Yeah, well

1:26:48 Good fighter. Kind of like Tim Kennedy kind of muscles. To leave, rather. No. I'm in. I don't have a TV show. Oh, he's like put out some tweet. Wow. If I'm Reebok, I'm like, hell yeah. When you look at what those guys were making before that, though, I would buy a certain beer if I knew that Donald Cerrone drank it after he wins by knockout. Just like, for Cain.

1:29:43 I don't want to get in trouble. Look at boxers. That's also the thing with boxers. Everybody Boxing, in a way, is probably worse than the UFC. Yes. Can I help them out 100%? I'm digging that shirt. You could tell me all day that it sucks. I don't care. like you'd be like oh good luck with that yeah i'm gonna like what are you talking about They're big in CrossFit.

1:32:08 It's basically the same build. You have the pump. No, I'm just kidding. That's the goal. Yeah, yeah. I used to do six, seven appearances. And I'm not saying that to Dana White it might be a great decision. Banking on Rory. Does Reebok So you're still sponsoring Jon Jones. That's a big risk for them, where you go, you fucked up. You have a Reebok or Nike jersey on.

1:35:05 That's everything. That's leagues, man. You might want to let him in. It's interesting. Listen to what we got here Robbie Lawler versus Roy McDonald That's a very good fight. Brandon's face is looking very drunk. Beat Jeff Monson, bro. Now, if we could, I mean, to say this is one of the best cards of all time, Match-up-wise, it's a great fight. but as far as stylistically.

1:37:55 No, no. Bro, go to UFC 100. Go to UFC 100. 100 guys that shit will knock your dick in the dirt don't go to ufc 100 On the undercard is John Jones. John Jones versus Jake O'Brien. But Matt Brown versus Tim Means is a better fight to me than John Jones versus Jake O'Brien. Henderson versus Bisping is an all-time Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely big names there.

1:40:04 Yes. Bigger doesn't mean anything to me. I don't give a fuck. I'm there for all's a bigger fight to me. That's a better fight. Yeah. Bigger? I don't know. Better? Yes. Look, I like the Floyd Mayweather, Manny Pacquiao fight. Fuck, man. He's one of the most underrated guys in the UFC right now. Very, very, very, very similar. He breaks guys. Can't stop to take down.

1:41:28 I think that's the greatest fucking— Who's on the early prelims? That's the craziest shit I've ever seen. How old is he? I don't mean to be disrespectful, but that's incredible. How old do you think Neil is? Thank you. I'd love for him to get his hands on Brian. Fuck off. Nelson versus Thatch is a big fight to me. 100%. Big clash of styles. Llamas, yeah.

1:43:45 Yeah. And he's getting better all the time, too. He does he used not stopped for a long time. God, he looks like a bad motherfucker. I think he's the best. I love that, dude. I think, you know, Rory's the favorite in this fight. He's a different fighter, too. Or Robbie does what he did I have no idea what to expect in that fight. Are they allowed to use IVs in this fight?

1:46:16 Oh, my God. I was like, damn. He's the best guy Conor McGregor's ever fought. greatness. I want to see greatness. it was a gentleman. One example. So stupid. I know. Same thing with him. When he became champion, you that, but that was earlier. So, Stu, same thing with him. George was a different star because he represented Canada, Anything can happen.

1:48:07 Fucking killers. Well, he hurt himself once he was already beating him. But as far as a high level MMA wrestler who's also a banger like Chad Mendes, You've got to be real careful. what happens to your fucking leg. coach. He's a mastermind. Connor is in full camp for Aldo, so he's He was working it, yeah. Yeah, it's a good fight. I can't wait. I think it's fucked up.

1:51:08 Just keep standing up. He does his thing. He popped up, but he got taken down. faking a takedown land and a big overhand. And he's beating the game. I like people who beat lost, he was out for a grip. He has a chance to be great. I would tell him to fake a fucking injury Break the tank! But let's give him the worst I've got the real belt. And that's what's exciting about the Mendes

1:54:12 of his capabilities. Everyone knows this. That's big, man. Because it takes a long time to hydrate orally as opposed to with an IV. So you don't have that fluid in the very dangerous Jamie's got some information for us How do they know Fluids? Because you can test for plastics in the problem. How can you test that? Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, no, you can test. You can test. Fluids?

1:56:21 The plastics themselves, I guess, can mask whether or not you've been blood doping. say I was doing what everybody else did which is about it. Yes. Everyone does. Yes, he has. It's not as hard for him. You got the exception. Such a badass. That's the wrong dude to fuck with. The back IV ban for UFC fighters until October. Thank you to Dan Worms. and who makes these rules people who have never fought or cut weight

1:59:17 The thing is, to my understanding, they say they test five times out of competition randomly, right? I think it's five random. Every fighter on the UFC roster. randomly throughout the year. No, that doesn't make any sense. Okay, when are they going to test? fighters to go test test and spend dollars randomly test all 500 athletes test. Testing is always behind. I'm not saying it's an excuse, but I'm just saying it's going to be interesting to see how now scientists who are involved in the fight game and fighters figure out a way around this testing five times a year.

2:01:56 You just see the change in their bodies. testosterone. kicking, good luck without some help. 235 with world-class speed. Just had a crazy regimen, exercise regimen, but just body weight stuff and 1,000 push-ups a day, 1,000 sit-ups a day. will work harder than anybody else, on top is so obsessed with training. He doesn't like the UFC. You don't get to his level without being smart. You know what you do? You prove the wealth. Jesus. That's smart. Jesus. He's smart in a bad way.

2:03:54 Mm-hmm. She can hit me. Your eyes are going to be swollen shut. This thing guys banning IVs. What? I think it was in England or something. Sure, people kill people with skateboards. like porridge stew, because he would have Those guys were really awful. business but anyway he's gone now just boiling away in acid just disappearing and he goes so we You might want to fucking get some fucking plane ticket to Canada. When the feds come to talk to you and they say they're going to protect you, you might want to start planning your trip to Costa Rica. You might want to fucking get some fucking plane ticket to Canada.

2:06:59 Well, they didn't even have fingerprints. I spent a lot of time with them. there and you know how to properly interrogate somebody and really ask them questions and more They would try to figure out what the fuck the guy did. I did. see they see a guy jerking off in his car looking down, And then they come in that people do, an ego and the guy in the way he got him to do it he goes look at it's you

2:10:30 Fuck yeah, man. Hey, don't talk badly about my girlfriend. She's cool. Great's intense. I haven't. How dare you not do research said her in so many loads that it changes your biological Probably anally a lot of it. I would agree with you. Turbo slut. I'll wear turbo slut. Yeah. Turbo Slut. Turbo Slut. Make that t-shirt. Hashtag Turbo Slut Can work for guys, too, man. Make that t-shirt.

2:13:32 You think so? Boom. a great fucking show I'll tell you that I love your podcast I'm so happy that you guys are doing then he but he asked yes Obama said you know do you get nervous do stuff Obama Wow. Definitely, he is. And Russell's just a great guy. whatever you want he's so humble you can my wife you can take a on the stage you do whatever Damn.

2:16:15 of comics, why he's so successful. Kevin Hart is so talented for me. Crazy work ethic, right? They've already been to the gym. have to like to the stain age right to create material yeah to create new No? He uses a gold microphone. He's such a good guy. Well, I his way? Dave Chappelle. Dave Chappelle at the their way and they wanted him to stop saying the n-word there was all sorts of

2:19:13 he's doing great You want to talk about athletic and explosive he might be 5'4", but I've never he was we were all going look at how fucking fast Doing everything can though you know Man to fuck up, Brian Callen. A deadlift, though. I was sparring somebody who wasn't... So you sparred a guy so shitty, he didn't land one shot? dudes and not, you know. Do you spar the

2:21:27 So next time you spar him, you need to say, hey, I'm going to go beat this kid up. One of the great men. One of my favorite people in the world. on your arm to being a fighter and having 350 fights, There's more to come. him well what I'm saying is that he'll move around and punch me yeah he'll punch me in the face if I out of the way. Do you have any concern

2:23:54 Louis C.K. But a guy who loves it also may not be getting, again, like it's one thing to get really hit. I just don't get it. It charges you up. I can't imagine. You couldn't pay me to go to a boxing it's a great place to work out. Your pick. Brian Callen? It's a different kind of fighter for Chad Mendez. That's no pun. That was my idea. But that as a shirt, hashtag turbo slut, I think that'll sell.

2:26:38 I like that. I don't know. But they're going to get a piece of the pay-per-view, so they're going to benefit anyway. I don't either. Are we doing another Fight Companion? He's supposed to get back to me. TheFighterAndTheKid.com All right, you fucks.