Joe Rogan Experience #673 — Nick DiPaolo & Adam Lowery Transcript

Transcript

0:00 All right, we're live. We're going in. I'm here with Nick DiPaolo, Brian Redband. I've hired contractors who don't do work that good. See if you can find the video. And the movie's going to be trumped. In the past, it used to be by horse and message carrier. Depends who it timeline. Depends. Fucking Spock died. He's going to fucking party as soon as he gets on that thing.

2:31 And it was on rails. How funny is that though that they Well now they know you can't give the guy shitter privacy Fucking green energy drinks and Joe coffee and all that. Can you imagine having the first generation of them? El Chapo. Watch this. Watch him walk through this. It's over. You know when your friends do that when you're drunk? There had to be some cooperation.

5:16 Nobody heard nothing? It was a house. Maybe a little water, fellas. how to make the sauce. Yeah. when you're in jail. Just decide to find out Same way El Chapo. ...the guards are getting mad because they don't have fans, so they're frying steaks in there and smoke's getting everywhere. Exactly. Like no one, no one's any privacy. how disgusting it smells in there

7:53 odors coming out the immigration thing it's spelled Liberia. I just don't think that we deserve it. I just think that other people, they're fucked. You know if like if we rebuild Iraq imagine we just decided to do that just start rebuilding It's like being north or south of the boulevard. And the government collapsed there. What part of that story was I supposed to love?

10:49 You love it because it's fascinating, not because you love it. They're like, he's just too racist. We add on to it as we like. That means if you are heterosexual Exactly. Stick that in your fucking lesbian pipe. And there's women who are men or men are women. It's got the word cis in it. That's a guy who wants things the old-fashioned way. Like, what do they mean?

13:24 You know what I'm saying? Why am I looking at you? And I can't do it. That's not easy. Yeah. Or is it the guy who was Stacy Keach? He just died? He had a detective show. He does the ONA introductions for Opie and Anthony. I didn't know that. Yes. Is he alive? Yeah. All right, Stacey. He does the ONA introductions for Opie and Anthony. Fuck, man. What the fuck?

15:25 There's a few of those He did. Well, I was talking to this lady yesterday, Dr. Rhonda Patrick. But Dennis Farina. I'll hold your hand. Yeah. Yeah, he was a good actor, man. An out-of-control satellite radio show is being broadcasted to millions of Americans. Oh, shit. In the past, they have been accused of multiple FCC violations Everything you are about to hear is real.

18:21 Just have Stacy Keach read your intro like that. and shit. Insane. go, anyone who comes to this donut place, you can very, very underrated show. Yeah. He's a pioneer. Yeah, he's a funny fucker. And a good show, that fucking original MTV show, very, very underrated show. He's a good dude. Yeah, he's just, yeah, he was on that I'm pretty sure he said he's always been like a really cool dude

20:29 It was fucking hilarious. Yeah. He's working hard, too. They were the only show that I ever went on that was a hang. And they were like, who's this guy? let him get these rants out. Well, it's smart, actually. Yeah. which to me was the problem. that's on direct tv like that like boys isn't there a better way to advertise can you guys have It's organic and it keeps going.

23:22 It's like the difference between driving on the highway and taking side roads like if you took side roads there's an open highway next to you pissed off because that sometimes ways will direct it through their neighborhoods. Oh, yeah. So people are, like, looking around everywhere. You're lying to Waze? Oh, man. That would be like a good Jim Carrey movie.

25:41 Now, regular marriage is fucked. That would be a great movie, dude. Oh, how dare you. It's funny, because Billy Gardell is a funny comic. Why is that? You don't want to see that. I think there's people that are seriously concerned with coming off as progressive. of meetings and for like you know they had a sitcom idea and first of all every meeting 75

27:58 And I'm expecting like Dennis to stop laughing and Serpico, Jimmy Serpico. Thank God you threw me a news radio and a few That was hilarious, man. as my one brother And so Paul Sims was like, yeah, fuck it. didn't get the fucking job. Remember, I was walking to my car. No. He thought you were hilarious. coffee pot over the head and we started stomping on you and they watched it through the thing and

30:38 your memory fucks with you. Well, that's weed, Even gay guys, I get offended. You got a real fit. You gotta stay with it. in their 20s and you know at old 30 at the oldest and uh so i'm doing a lot of the modified exercises They break you down. that that was that would be a really good way to teach martial arts they have that one of those do one on the right is the guy the little thing in the triangle is the guy yeah i didn't even see

33:52 Yeah. Okay. Look at this. It's a good idea. Kazoo? Yeah. I'm on the shorter note. I think it's more gay, actually. Funny motherfucker. And they were good. I mean, the writing is funny and smart. I don't know what's going on there. but when it got into the silly shit with her falling into chocolate and shit, The camera, Well, Cuba was, like, sophisticated.

36:52 So a guy from Cuba was like a romantic guy. which is pretty fucking fascinating. Did you really? Very vibrant. And how about Betty White? Yeah. You love those things. Like a pig? Then I wouldn't have to exercise if I did that. But that's like going, you know, Pastrami. Pastrami. Late at night? Or do you make, like, inventions of, like... You don't like that.

40:34 mix that up, and then put the fish on the grill. Fuck underwear. Like, I'll deal with Thank you. No, he swung at the coach. i know that was almost perfect i was in such a rush to get it out i put you there this goddamn coffee And that coach has had a bit of a history himself. I kind of like a guy for that. And when Artie came on to do the podcast, he was so upset with me.

43:08 It's not like I'm not into stupid shit. That's what he said. middle of it she goes I can't breathe breathe. He goes, hey, honey, let's not make this political. But that is a goddamn funny joke. That's why it's funny. And if you know, think it's funny that the guy got choked. I'm 100% against that. You don't think that's funny? It's really good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was Callan.

44:41 Yeah, I'm there next month. That area is very ignored. Yeah, fucking Santa Barbara's one of the best places. It's 45 minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant out here. Oh, they have problems. That's what I'm saying. The sound system is as good Because, you know, they designed that for the Terry Fedor guy, the ventriloquist. Like, people are struggling to hear shit.

47:02 you couldn't hit the ceiling. It was like I was playing to like 400 Guatemalans. How about when you can't hear yourself? and you can't hear yourself so you you tend to talk louder but they can hear you right maybe that looking at guys right in front of me. yes any punches thrown in my life That's telling you something. And like you said, the people be dancing and shit.

49:58 the people there's a comedy show. If you needed the money, and you lived in Boston, it's an easy gig. There were so many outside booking agents, between Billy Downs and Barry, You can look at my book Really? already got like 11 inches i go yeah he goes you want to work my brother lenny you know lenny was giggling to me. And then we're sitting oh my God, that's a headliner. He didn't

52:42 And Lenny goes on and just, nine people you know Sure. He was the host. It said comedy hell on the... What did that fit? And it's my second year. So I'm late getting to Stitches. So they are like furious. I'm like, good night, everybody. The door's locked. And then I went over Your first one at Stitches? Yeah. A couple really good comics went up that night, too.

55:49 And he'd go on as a character called Alston Brighton, And Stitches. And then I see him at Nick's one night. was in his prime is when Nick and I Nick was like you were like a little bit ahead of me ah right and he would just bam bam bam bam right but teddy would go up and make it look so girl and lynn that i was seeing at the time and uh i call and check my answer machine messages

58:17 Another message. but he left like six messages and he was getting more drunk. He's in the bar, you know. Because each message, you could hear closed by the time I was getting paid. And they canceled it right after I did it. Do you know it? And it was so ridiculous that the audience just started laughing like whereas i was probably bombing But I'm like, why did I have that stupid fake memory in my head?

1:00:57 and then I forgot that that part of it was real. It fucks with the short term. planet what state if i go to bed i wake up two hours later angry and it would definitely fuck you up. That's the first thing everybody suggests. Fucking anger Sanka was, for Folgers Brothers, It's called a coffee filter. Look at that little fucking ferret looking. That's a fucking payday bar.

1:04:50 that green, there's like the outside of like a, and I actually ordered this shit. Yeah, but that's just Ch, ch, ch, ch. because she made First of all, these ratings are racist. and stuff nowadays. Pretty sure. That's not the same. We'll have their sample sizes increased by 300 homes next year, about 1,300 apiece. How dare you, Nick DiPaolo? Is that what it is? It's just more liberal out here,

1:08:00 What's going on there? Nobody that looked like me. No, I can do it. It's one thing we can do. Wake the fuck up, Brian. Not anymore. Yeah, I think that's the way to do it. Absolutely. Yeah, because this way we just have a conversation, you do? Yeah. You even have control over that? Yeah, I think that's the way to do it. Good for you. Oh, damn. If you put up a YouTube video and it gets 17 million hits, well, it's all right there.

1:10:03 Well, they don't want you to know. It's a guess. And if they do, they're assholes anyway. So it could be like a Shazam-based thing. It's so crazy. It doesn't even make sense crazy she is one to ten just scans her body and let's you how crazy she is. They'll give you like a one to ten. Just scans her body and lets you know, Just ding dong, ding dong, ding dong.

1:11:58 What are they reading that turns thermal the others like just where you are displaced in the room? And it's tons of little dots over you, so it reads like it's super accurate. Xbox One. on an Xbox One I just, I've been enjoying relaxing lately. What would you do? Let me change that answer. It's a fun day. coming in with like gutted moose or something like that, people would freak the fuck out.

1:13:56 It's about whether or not the animals cute Ugh. They cut the fins off them, though, and let the rest of the fish drown. Rhino horns, too, yes. That is fucked up, though. Not only that like what couldn't you use that meat or something like you sell it the shark me pet food or something like that I'm surprised you didn't see, like, you know, him shitting his pants all over the board.

1:15:47 That was a shark shark. Why do surfers not carry weapons on them? Hunting shark? If you had some sort of a fine chain mail shark suit on, you could probably get away with doing that. South Africa is one of the worst spots in the world for shark attacks. a bird cage. Yeah, not a bad Look at that guy's face. got to a stage of existence where they just maintain the exact same form for hundreds of

1:18:12 That's why it can't stop. Can't sleep? Is that it? Yeah, all those movies. Hold on. Okay. He fucking... Mo Green. Why you gotta be Olive Garden when Italian shit? People, look it up. Really? We all go. 110, 111 before I go. Yeah, you've got to stay in it. You know what I'm talking about, Sean T. Yeah, when you're demonstrating moves, like if you demonstrate martial arts moves, you get exhausted.

1:21:30 I was like, wow, you picked some really fucking weirdos. one of those Tony Horton protégés. Unbelievable. Do you believe that thing I bought a used one and licked it for 20 minutes. or is it the coffee? There it is. Find me one that's been used by an American. Oh, gel. Because it has to be for that, right? And then once you realize that your legs are about to give in, that's when you start shoving the dildo inside you.

1:24:19 masturbate with it, that'd be the only way. and push down Yeah. You know what I don't like? I was like, what? And they're like, it beat the washing machine and something the household. I was like, what? Invention? Go to the right doctor. That's what I heard. But he's an honorary doctor. What there was he temple? And then he walks into Rudy Huck, like the kids are eating the chili.

1:27:17 What was the one where he was like a... Gil fucking T. When I was working at Chris Rock, We were going to take a trip to Vegas just to see him. Jay Charbonneau. Remember? Has it been proven? First of all, how dare you? I didn't know she had a disease. Multiple sclerosis. or whatever the fire. that's when I was doing it She goes, you can run anytime you you want she couldn't have been sweeter do you miss living out here uh i don't miss it but i in retrospect looking back i enjoyed it more than

1:29:52 That's the different vibe that you get when you're in L.A. they're from, like, fucking Sweden. It's all college kids. Sounds racist. His name is, his name's Adam. When I hear about a scam, a money scam, a crazy money scam, microphone over here? Is that possible? And Adam's I did You shouldn't have said that. Yeah. It's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1:33:18 It's white liberal people getting mad at her. Put those headphones on, too, if you would. for people to express themselves honestly, saying things that are clearly in just Yeah. I mean, it's a process they set up to addict you from the beginning. Because then they make another $500 to $700 a day per patient for four to eight weeks. That's so crazy.

1:35:48 Are they both on the same subject? Cognitive Rampage, and that's essentially what I call it. What's the Cognitive Rampage. That's essentially what I call it. What's Cognitive Rampage entail? So for people that get hooked on drugs and they get involved in some sort of recovery That's period what happens. All right? You can't even diagnose anybody with that until they're off drugs. fills out your admission paper, and throws on your diagnosis. Bipolar. Right?

1:37:43 That's right. you need to discharge me here do this for me I'm essentially their fucking Sex. Yeah. and how they're going to get there, and their doctor. What? Where's the ambition to get clean, or the incentive? around with and it was it was hard to like get a real bead on how deep this All these facility fact-checkers know each other. life. So it's

1:41:17 Dude, it fucking killed me to be straight with you, man. I never had heard that before. Come on, Nick. the heroin. The people come in and they have a heroin addiction. Wow. Yeah. Your copay when you buy it from a pharmacist is more expensive than buying it on the street many times depends on your plan d so many pro tips so many pro tips No, I just kind of see the picture now.

1:43:26 My direct bosses. Yeah. me he's a drug counselor and i was like oh i need to fucking hear what's going on down there So they come from California. They come from have 160 days during the year. And so they'll call them and go, hey, it's been a while since you've been in, whoever. They keep it really, really close. You have 50,000 Let's call him up. You got that phone call.

1:46:37 Yeah. Thugs in white coats. crazy. In the 70s is So they were going out of business and they accepted the offer of the government. We're ready to market it, right? and they dub it the miracle drug. Please let me see that picture, Jamie. Higher power. Do you remember how many guys... Funny fucking guy meant to be both look it's that and Jesus together

1:49:42 It does look like a knife. Tower 7. Isn't that some shit, man? So they might be on Zaboxan Right? I want to know if this is all across the country. It's one of the craziest places ever. You've got to go to Vermont for that. I mean, they're essentially giving them pills rage... No, it's fuckin'... I know cuz I think I'll successful you know and also score it those shows are good because they have guys like you on I

1:52:32 Yeah. thing but so now you're doing like uh you're just helping people with their lives actually i do a Jesus. You know, the people that have been 15, 20 years on heroin and hard stuff. That shit that kills mosquitoes Yeah. Well, like you said, that shit changes your perspective sometimes, right? You'd be like, bipolar, and they go, But if I give you 90s of boxing and you only need 30 and you sell the 60.

1:55:23 So they give three a day. Colada pins, Zaboxing, and Dilaudid. They I never heard it's the boxin because that's the thing when you said that name I don't know, a ton. Did they have it on Suboxone? I haven't heard Suboxone. After all that Oxycontin Express stuff, they changed the compounds in it so it so it become less addictive and also so you couldn't smoke it anymore really yeah that's why they changed it wow that's amazing so that documentary did a world of good

1:57:06 buses, those giant ones, and fill it with senior Yeah. So Go to Miami. They're cracking down on them all in Florida. because there's a need for it. You said Obama. As soon as they figure out there's a spot where they can start extracting money, Like, human nature is if someone has to scratch and scrounge, you get ambitious, you figure your way out of a hole.

1:59:24 There you go. Those motherfuckers. everything. And so as we start to tell you When he did, you had it on here, the brain scans. Really? Yeah, that. Yeah. It's like having the flu. she got off of alcohol. Withdrawal symptoms. Joe, she's dead. I mean, you don't lock somebody up when they just need help trying to get their life together. No, no, but your higher power made you perfect.

2:02:31 I you know it's that kind of stuff. I'm like creating something right, but isn't he rich enough already So you don't, it's hard to tell. Yeah, mail that kid's log to me. Well, what we're doing in the United States is going, here's 10, oh shit, here's 10 problems. It broke me, man. I mean, that's how we're taught. you know so you trust your doctor but the days of

2:05:23 couldn't pay attention in school so they're putting him on put them on Adderall. I was talking to my friend Justin about this just yesterday. Couldn't pay attention in school, so they were What is it, a close cousin to methamphetamine? that is, they may have it. That's right. Brian. I could drink coffee at 2 in the morning and That's right. That's me. 100. Brian.

2:06:32 And now that these cold-pressed coffees, Oh, yeah. Go to the gym with those. But I don't want to put it out there and people may think that it really does what I'm going to say it does. I don't think you could quit smoking cigarettes because you didn't How's that? I don't fucking know. I don't think you could And new mood. Well, those are and addictions and things like that can be affected by those chemicals that are in your

2:08:32 So much so that they tell people that are on Friday and Saturday night. But all you got to do is pop two new mood after that and you're great. bar. I went to this bar. ever. What a great idea for a bar. to see Hicks when I moved to New York. even before you know he died really young he was only like 32 or 33 when he died yeah the bill July 13th? He's like Brian check this out like all these different Twizzlers where I'm shrooming. Oh, yeah, he doesn't do anything, right?

2:11:37 man that was one thing that ronda was covering yesterday like with the effect of inflammation I'm getting so as I get older, though. That's all he eats now. No sugar? I have a bit about it. He's got a very linear path. David Cho. That's right. He's got a big hand. Then they explained it. Naturally. Yeah. I can't. That's the best. The guy goes, Ronda Rousey is the pound for pound, both male or female, best mixed martial arts fighter.

2:14:55 Mayweather. premise that's what i'm saying but it's a politically correct premise you're right you're No, it was awesome. You know? I don't know. Once they release, they will picket him. molest a child, that child is more likely, you're gonna damage them so fucked up, I mean, that's like a disease. I just assume I like you guys I assume none of you want to fuck kids

2:17:55 There's arguments for that. that that's what you do somebody says no doesn't do shit you you hurt them or you hurt something a regular life back it's like that girl's life is so scarred with those images and memories i'm sure Was weird when I was like 18 Oh, I know where Marco Island is, yeah. I found a word out in Florida that I never heard before.

2:20:51 Really? Wow. That's a first for me. Yelling like a black guy. Tom Segura does this thing. yell like a black guy His wife is a really funny comic. Seven out of ten, I was correct. He's pretty good at it. So it's kind of cheating. I can crack it. I did. That was it. Florida's just such a strange, strange, strange fucking place. account of everybody who's in the airplane.

2:24:05 They spell my name wrong. And then once you get through that, you go into another room because they know that your baggage, if you flew from somewhere else and you have a connecting flight, they know your baggage is never going to fucking make it. We were fucked it was insane and they won't take your your baggage within 45 minutes of the scheduled departure time

2:25:16 people are going crazy and people have to leave And it's hot, and you're in Miami. Yeah, they touch their face and eyes. We're trying to play games. We're they touch their face. We're trying to play games. It was so ridiculous. Where do I go for us code you ask us on your water the kiosk as a lot of the kiosk or the healing? He had an accent I'd never fucking heard of.

2:26:58 It's not hard to troll Nick DiPaolo. Jesus, I can feel I'm half a Canadian. I can't imagine. The girls are on meth. do they ever have people come in for weed? So I don't pay a lot of attention to them anyway No, no, it's perfect. Right, right. well, I'm really missing that fucking needle. Two people leave the room. What kind of cheese? They go there, and they talk with romantic terms about how much they used to shoot heroin,

2:30:17 It's all the same. I used to play at executive billiards in White Plains that was down the street from this methadone clinic day get your dose and go on about your fucking day wow then you go back get your dose going about Heroin's natural, right? I'm like, with all the greenhouses that we have, how come they can't grow coke here? Well, if you want to fight an enemy, where do you hurt them?

2:32:24 Right. But Zoboxin you just have to take as a pill He fell asleep right into his food. Keb was gone. there, you know, I had some epilepsy or some seizures and then they're sitting in there going, But I woke up from one of the surgeries on what you were doing? Yeah, I played football in college after both operations. I had a guy named Lyle McCailey.

2:35:25 each about 30 times and he did my first one Wow. And then when I got hit in football, it was really the weights that fucked me up. Well, because we live in, this business is nerdville. I go, oh, okay. That's funny. yeah i mean i you know played up at maine and was fucking lifting weights every day and yeah and I had my friend Jimmy. the best way to show somebody.

2:38:16 Where it's like, you're not really fucking up, so you're not really hitting rock bottom. What's my disability check they go like, you know well what's your disability check what's my disability Second party! Oh, it wasn't a hand. Like a lot of other words has a lot of weight behind it general though and you're just trapped group therapy when I was doing it have been

2:40:53 And so we'd rather beat them up about their inability to make a choice not to do a drug than really work out of what's the drug give you? I think I got it. No. You were like fucking nuts. Hypervigilance. When their mother is experiencing violence from the father, And we were flying to Australia together. and then I had competed in martial arts tournaments from the time I was 15 to 21.

2:43:41 people about is i mean it's a war zone when your home is really like that and you're a child. And then my mom remarried the nicest guy. I got an adopted 15 year old daughter. years she's mine and um we i think we came in just in time you know to where none of that's around and come in the room. and let's talk about it and yeah good luck i mean that that's it that's what we fucking offer them

2:45:40 Oh, yeah. Not to mention your testosterone levels growing up and and then you throw booze on that at a You can get a lot of trouble if you don't. Absolutely. Yeah. He gets dinged real bad. I know of four. I brought it up in some article. But it does. Yeah, it doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. Wild, impulsive, didn't give a fuck! You know, where the brain, you get hit here, it could do this, it could do that.

2:49:15 before you do anything. They're fucking guessing. then when it doesn't, There's no legitimate podcast. No. 75% of them are getting diagnosed with depression, right? and you take an antidepressant, Wow. All of this was meant to The people that I know that have worked for, that has worked for, out of them, I know a few. One of my friends from jiu-jitsu and a comedian friend of mine.

2:52:20 I'm glad I met you last night. The fucking universe was looking out for us. at the ventura harbor comedy club tonight and this airs ventura harbor comedy club in ventura Yeah. Glorious. Bye-bye.