Joe Rogan Experience #684 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Ah, freaks and freakettes, we're back. because i'm like guys always get some funny stuff on there i didn't even think about where it came Which one are you talking about? shout out to the snail for that's how we became friends um but like that thing people don't think of that as being a So this guy stole it from her? Yeah. Yeah, well that's fucked up that people are claiming

4:30 He has his own show on Apple Beats 1, you know, But it's been one of those things which is, Now, again, there's. there. And this is one thing that I've been doing the last Drinking water. You're right. But, you know, with the And then he called him out on it in the comments. But, you know, look, this list here is 50 of them, and I've already found more than that.

7:25 I went with him. We want you guys to watch him do stand-up and tell us what you think so they watched him Do stand up like handyman someone someone said that handyman was something that it's stolen from not that Damon had stolen it next yeah you should be smacked if you want to sit in the back of the Comedy like radio shack box interview private and he would do all his sets like that,

10:10 set up where you can burn your copy of? a couple spots mic'd but um what was my point point being how the did we get here oh about how And where's this guy getting the money to hire employees? How'd that even happen? But this is independent of his Instagram, right? And then they delete it in like 20 minutes. So she is trained to do, when I dated a publicist, all she did was tell me all these secrets.

13:10 Yeah, he has another famous picture, which is him laying in a pool, So he's even stealing his ideas for pictures to sell as wine from TV shows. And what they do is they just go to Reddit or they just go to any of these websites, Of a fat chick or something like that's but or whatever and put put the two together or but what he's mostly or your own font, rather, because he's done that before too.

14:59 Like that young lady that we talked about. But, do, do, do, do, do. And then they get a lot of, like our friend Slash Lean from up in Canada. I could take this and turn it into a bit. based on only plagiarism. Like, every time I repost something, like, I have to delete it now because we're doing this is getting. For no apparent reason at all, they look over and he's like doing push-ups on the ground and that's it.

18:11 interviewed and i wish i could find i've been looking for it if i find i can show it send it to manager, whoever was sitting next to him, But it was an interesting interview. After the Mencia thing? A lot of it. I mean, he's literally doing Amy Schumer's show, like Hannibal Buress, like Ari. So there's very little pressure on it. It's smart. and there's large institutions

21:06 And he goes, did Fat Juice sign an affidavit for Grand Central Pub Hatchet U.S. that his new book is all his own work? You can't only have one client, especially it's Doug Stano. All right. This is another girl that he, all her Instagram feed is shit that she's made. writes her name on the bottom that's it see see how he's got it here that's her that's her but

23:27 I know, there's so much going on. It's got 209,000 likes, by the way. You guys, this is funny because it's relatable and we all share these types of human experiences. What? Because it can search by photo. And then when I saw that Patton was retweeting your stuff, and I said alright I'm in I started retweeting it too. I'm like fuck it. Let's just let's pile on

25:25 hilarious, I found it on her What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, God. making like five, six of them a day. Yeah. they think that they can get away with it that's what he's doing i mean what he's doing he got away It's happened many times at Burt Bondy. his Twitter name's actually in the picture, Joe, It's the guy he took it from, or supposedly. photos and making money off of them without

29:37 I love memes. Well, I think that's on purpose. He fights him in the end. I'm just amazed by it. But then now I kind of want to stop it so I don't have to see more of him in the future. That's how he was describing it. And this might not even be the first one but it was one of those that you know his modus operandi you would say, well, here's a guy that I could see that guy be funny.

32:44 He seemed like this, like, corporate guy or something, you know, with this wacky haircut. Like if I do a conversation, especially if it's about MMA. Menstelia after all that shit went down. they probably i don't think they were aware in the entirety of the uh the situation that you're That's what you're supposed to do. But other than that, I use a retweet or a repost app or a quote tweet.

35:28 See, because this guy could have been a successful pipeline for all these people. So there's only people if these people stood up and go, no, I thought that and made that and read wrote that. You know, he's like channeling Patrice or something while he did it and trying to be of guys that were joke thieves and one of the things you could clearly see you could see the

37:36 his second special was hot But he couldn't make his own shit. You're not thinking about you. Like what all you are is And when those fucking joke thieves have to go out and relearn the language, I don't think he does it. And I think he's man, you're gonna fucking there's a lot of people that are gonna see you do that bit until myself i'll say like brian red band is to jamie like a walrus is to you know peacock i'll try to

41:11 And then you record it. Publicist chick. Yeah, it is. We're talking about fires, you fuck. are fucked. Because God damn, this guy's like the fastest one of the ballsiest things that Charlie Murphy did was Charlie Murphy was famous. First of all, He would be on the stage or on the screen and you know as well as i know that process cannot be duplicated The the process of becoming good at doing stand-up going from an open mic er to being like a an established

44:41 And he's headlining remember when we did that maximum real men of comedy tour, dude Who career Carrera he's gonna be opening up for Joey Diaz They kicked that guy? And it's a tiny ass little crowd. goes running up to the stage Yeah. So he's one of those guys that is like a social retard that wants attention. Can you turn this up? Throw a tantrum. Call an ambulance.

47:46 No, when someone front kicks you in the chest like that, What's that, Jamie? though. He's balanced as if he... What'd I tell you? Go do it one more time. Someone taught him how to throw a nasty front kick and he knows how to do it If the guy didn't want to grapple with him me you got two options that guy ran right up to him that he banged his head and literally he could

50:32 I definitely think the guy's a cunt. some guy was in the audience some guy was heckling. Greg tooled him. It was really funny. Oh, the Black Knight. Who saw that coming? flushes the organ down the toilet after discovering wife's affair. Well, he has to blame the girl, yes. The guy might not even know. Bobbit. You never heard that? Like, imagine what the clit looked like, just spinning around in a circle.

54:35 I mean, it does depend on the reasons why. you know like he cut her clit off you know Jesus Christ the fact that she could mock that I don't know my original point was what Right. talking about where it literally goes there's three explosions the first one's like wow that's but the blast from it. What the fuck? Holy shit! Holy shit. A bomb blew up?

58:26 Sodium cyanide on site might have been 70 times the allowed amount. That was beautiful, too. Oh, I was just finding a new video of a house from erosion falling into the ocean that I wanted to show you. This is the guy it's right in front of the door like watch this Watch that again. I like your bad accent. That's not supposed to be. What the goes, what the heck? And then the whole house or the side just falls on him. I like your bad accent.

1:00:27 an insurance scam. And he went to jail for murder because he wound up killing his neighbor. Remember Yeah, that's it. So this guy just left the fucking gas on and then said we're gonna make some money Look at him. You know what I mean? Yeah. They can look. They can the Bulls was particularly successful this season. Because I think they killed them.

1:03:58 I'm just sending new links. It's, you know. You just get paid for it now. There's way too many people to get out of the way. my teacher, my professor did that. And it's all about appreciating the culture. And like, Cheese isn't trying to kill you. running along the streets of the country. it in the United States now, I'm pretty sure. What? Like having

1:06:40 one of these would likely do more and the homeless are like, I'll get this bull. Because, first of all, you're not really fighting that bull, right? He got his sphincters torn open. It's ugly, dude. Because it seems like it's going right through his cheek. I know. You know, maybe this is a hard way out, man. This is a different one, though. See, the tips are white and black.

1:09:58 puts like seven different animals on on this table and at first it's like a lizard and she's like It involves Asian girls Well, I mean, and then the guys pretend that he's falling asleep too yeah and so the dog just she and alligators. You put them on their back and rub their belly there's something about the way they're designed the way they're designed by the big guy upstairs

1:12:14 That kind of makes sense because they're always constantly in motion. The frog figured out that it was on its back. If you cover the bird's face with a blanket like that Yeah. Jesus Christ Yeah, fine. I'm sure that company has to pay for the sign. and then you realize, oh shit, that was such a mistake. really hard to get a judge fired, really hard.

1:15:28 but Jamie might decide that another person won. And those undeniable ones, you got to step in, you got you watching? How'd this guy win? And those undeniable ones, hey, before you get criticized. like whether or not they're black or a woman. And he goes, absolutely. Absolutely. He goes, Like the scoring part's just not really even kicked has still won a decision. That has happened.

1:17:51 But I remember people saying that it very well could have been that she was is yes a draw is it close is it close it's close right it's close? It's close, right? It's close, right? It's a draw. So a judge is like an appointed elected, or not elected, appointed official. Now he's a trainer, trains at Dynamics in Santa Monica, trains a lot of UFC fighters.

1:19:09 Like, 10-9, like, I might think you won 10-9, Usually when a guy gets knocked down, it's 10-8. and all those things count as points. that round. So it's a cumulative. give it to him because he came back from that first round. And then in the other one, two guys go toe-to-toe, There's head kicks and takedowns, or and Talas is a jiu-jitsu fighter. also be a 10-9 round? Like Shogun versus Dan Henderson. They beat the fuck out of each other.

1:22:56 and you look at the score, her score for the first round was 162. It would have to be the techniques that land. because the the real quant like the real undeniable measurable thing in a fight is the Or Gray Maynard almost knocked. So it's one of those weird things where you just got to... I think it would be worth a lot for the sport How does that count the same way? Yeah, and some to hurt us a different way. Absolutely. How does that count the same way?

1:25:48 There'd be a lot of factors. fight and they gave it to the other dude. And I was like, that's bullshit. That guy i thought it was a little closer than um a lot of people were thinking i thought dariush did a lot Right, like really detect the amount of damage you've sustained. They're way more competent than anybody's working today or as competent as the best people working today.

1:28:26 So I think that having more judges would be good, and is there, and that would make more sense. it gets really biased that way. You're right. i'm hoping that guy falls on his face if you're up in like the third round in this scenario where you've got to stop him. a long time martial arts practitioner. You would be able to add that. Round and that has to mean something. Yeah. Yeah, and it's also like who decides like if you say if you beat a guy up standing you you beat him up for like the

1:31:48 damage that first minute that guy's cut he's beat up his eyes swelling he got hit with bombs but he way has become a complete drug addict are you serious she's a total drug you And that's the name of the website and what many people think that psychedelics do. brain that causes depression which is insane that's uh that's amazing like go to that story

1:34:19 to have had this experience and allows forgiveness in a way that's like really unprecedented. There's been quite a few different studies that have come out that have shown the benefits of a lot of different drugs to dealing with things that are conventionally, you know, what do they give you for depression? and then they check your Twitter to see, like, where are you working tonight, huh?

1:36:09 But if it's like a really small little show, it's like a lot of places like, ah, just, you know, you're on vacation or whatever. We found this out. Eddie Bravo did that too. Whoops. And so it was just enough that I immediately felt insane amounts of happiness. When I was like, oh, this is great mushrooms and you're like I feel I almost feel bad for them being mad at me you know like

1:38:56 We've gone over this before. Like marijuana and mushrooms, the schedule ones, like a lot of the still schedule one after it's over and if you do think that you're a crook I think the only difference between like a Even though more people are smoking pot than ever, You're not a scientist. And I don't know what you trip out about Especially people that I know like you

1:41:13 what is he doing? I don't eat pot anymore. If you want me to say that marijuana is not dangerous, And he's saying stupid shit that marijuana is dangerous. If you give them spoons and electrical sockets. Well, he's a fool. You know why? Okay, let's guess. I was going to say a few hundred. And taking anti-inflammatory, like the big issue with health, or one of the big issues,

1:44:03 How long do you do that at a time? FDA reverses its position on daily aspirin use. If you had to guess, Jamie, how many people do you think died? 200. and other NSAIDs, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories. Aspirin kills 400% more people than the swine flu. No, no. ibuprofen gets the source of the pain more, which is inflammation. or osteoarthritis each year in the United States. Whoa, that's a nutty number, man. 16,500 deaths

1:47:30 Or cutting. Have you known a lot of cutters? What I would just want before we get into that I just really wanted to what do you think the number hate their wife, they hate their husband. that before. Wait, what'd you type in? Cut, 1%. Transporter related. Firearms, 50. That's America, though. That by transporting. Yeah, how weird, man. Firearms, 50.

1:50:20 But I've known more than one person that's done it. It's not because they have a gun. It's not like you have a gun and go if somebody wants to kill you, it's because they want to kill you. It's not because they have a gun. But the idea that giving someone a gun I know he said he had to like go on the roof of his apartment with a gun I don't want to say.

1:51:35 No. where the Koreans had to arm themselves and get on top of their buildings because all the cops were in Beverly Hills. shielded parts of Los Angeles for the riots and didn't do anything to protect other parts. And obviously they were given mandates. You're not looking at it right. thieves and about how little, where these people broke into the, No, no, no.

1:54:03 Two suspects. August 7th. I don't know who that dude is. north korea like they just have like a bunch of galleries like yes we have all the most famous dollars on a painting they're gonna know exactly what that thing is but people Would you be interested in this? They've been busted doing that with statues. And he's like, what are you talking about?

1:57:09 Like, they figure out a way to have, because if you can find something, like, something that's, like, really old like that. They're not cheap, but you can get them. and then figure out a way to get this mold in it. Whereas most people, I mean, if you're a guy whose, your expertise is in appraising ancient statues, I heard it's 5,000 years old. That movie documentary, Tim's Vermeer,

1:59:14 He figured out this really long process of how to recreate. Wow, that's amazing. amount of work this guy put in. And now all of a sudden he's like super thin. but not having to wear glasses and watch a TV and stuff. It said 30 cameras. That's the Super Size Me guy. and somehow or another project it in front of you like a hologram, right? they put it together to make a 3D model of me.

2:02:30 Imagine going through the Holocaust all the way to 2015, and they turned you into a crazy 3D animated thing. especially if this magic leap is in any way indicative they had a um a little ballerina that was on a girl's bed it was like a four inch ballerina right now he's got to wear this helmet thing and then eventually they'll break it down to like a

2:04:49 phones cause cancer it's going to go to where most people's hand is there such thing as hand I'm trying to find the recent version of it. carriers inform buyers of potential I think that it's probably not good to have all these Wi-Fi signals running through our fucking houses constantly. Radios. negatively impacted by the sounds and the signals that are flying around them all the time wi-fi

2:07:09 real silence. It's not like there's, there's something missing in the air and it could be like well they would feel it first you know they're so small that There's two articles in a row here. How the fuck is someone supposed to figure it out? This is on CNN. Yeah. It says it's real. and they accidentally spread it they're not doing it on purpose but when you have people do it on

2:10:54 of nature but if you had to put a monetary value on it then maybe you would think more carefully Monsanto drone bees. It looks like an army soldier. I'm trying to... That's it, though. It says the Harvard Monolithic Bee. The little circuit board. sort of a hoax. So they move just like a real bug. of large numbers of robotic devices. That seems silly, right?

2:14:47 It's terrifying. in this video. My friend who worked for Google She moved to another corporation that I'll tell you about later. Can you imagine these things during riots? cool though like oh my god we're getting attacked, but it's a robot attack, and we have robots, and we're just watching robots on TV here The robot's connected with a hose in the back with wires.

2:17:29 Look at that thing flying. I mean, Wait till you see this video. They come out of these boxes. These are all the different... and put it into a little Lego robot thing? Well she's a worm she can't think she's a Lego and like a typewriter would do, what your message is. How hilarious. Oh, that's cool. It's really neat. the Kara Santa Marina thing, the 3D,

2:21:24 to see things that we never thought could be real. They make sure you don't bring your phone. It's really good. I mean look how good a selfie camera is I mean they they do a fucking Yeah. But no, it's uh, it's like actually just looks like a little keychain That's the only reason I'm saying. put them in a locker, because they didn't trust anybody. Here's the thing about like innovative minds or brilliant people.

2:24:53 or all these different things. about five other dudes that were working on exactly the same time that's sort of what always developing something that's really going to make you shit your pants. Whoa. And they've got a kidney And I'm practicing archery every day. all these push-ups don't bother it all these different things that bothered it used to bother

2:27:47 And Dr. Gordon was telling me about this guy who got in a car accident. Bam. But a lot of people are real cautious about it. Like you have like a baby that has like an extra They take their placenta. noticed that the older I get, the more Don't fucking bother me If I just quit drinking Whatever calories Absolutely. Why do that when you can just lay sideways?

2:31:12 Sleep nap sleep apnea because I really do wake up just going like okay my head and like, like around my eyes and shit. And then it records it in the clouds then I I'm one of these hunting trips that I went on me and Steve Rinella had a haul but the cables were rubbing on the rocks on the hill and they kept snapping the cable snapped camera that picks up movement takes photographs so. So they have this water hole.

2:34:20 16 mountain lions, and a dead pig. And he put one half on his shoulder. We got back to the cabin and just conked out. My God. I've heard you snore before. I just remember... On the plane? From the Santa Monica Mountains. C day. Good. Kill them all. Shut up. She had been attacked by a mountain lion on her bike, yeah pigs are really smart man they're smart and they kill them like vermin in

2:38:06 And so she comes there when she can and sings to it. Bacon's good, but it's just weird, man. It's almost like a joke. And it was about how many people cared about this lion, but how few people care about the amount of people that starve to death every year in Africa. for the pygmies he's such an amazing dude he's like he's doing is to try to raise awareness for the pygmies. He's such an amazing, dude

2:40:46 He wound up losing his mind and was in his underwear running around in traffic in San Diego, He's totally naked. Oh, my God, f*** that shit. more popular than i ever thought it would was like it seems like i learned more about people You're definitely going to go out and get whacked out and do a bunch of stupid shit. like, oh great, a fucking drunk.

2:43:11 Nervous. I got a little fucked up. He was drinking alcohol? But, like, that was a big thing in professional pool was guys would play on amphetamines. And he said, when you play pool on meth, you know, you look at a ball and the ball looks circular. got to kind of compensate that and you add a little spin to it to try to compensate for the deflection

2:45:56 I would see, like, flat surfaces instead of a curve. forever. Yes. Like forever, What? Look, if Adderall and meth really are that close, People snort those, too. It did happen over now. Shit's changing quick. how long have those guys and nobody questions Oscar the Grouch you know and we kind of grew up as a young kid you know loving We'll wrap this bitch up.

2:49:11 Jeff Ross will be here on Wednesday. And he really did go right into prison. at the Ice House. Brian Redband will be there. sold the fuck out. So you snooze Yeah. If you want to frame him for murder, you can get some DNA off of the packages. Write Amazon and all the people that Fat Jew gets money from and tell them what you think about Fat Jew. All right.