Joe Rogan Experience #691 — Bryan Callen Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Oh fuck yeah ladies and gentlemen. Oh fuck yeah. So we're doing this place on the 22nd and the 23rd At the end of the day. What the fuck, Joe Rogan? Yeah. It's not for sale yet, at the Ice House. Two shows, about the animals. yeah it's one of his buddies has this scale of fun yeah it's like and the cheapest easiest fun And I think because they've done some studies on what happens when you're in those situations.

2:37 you're sitting there freezing in the rain? Like how have you have you learned I was shivering. And Tim is sitting there freezing and he goes, that dude is so fucking smart. If he left and started some global powerhouse of a company like Tesla Motors or something like that and went on to make a billion dollars in the next two years, It's a very good point.

4:42 Women like aggressive men. 17. get over there but they look to you funny you had a government monitor um you had a government Look at transcript. Not me. I want to say Secret Service. But there's a constant moving and swaying with the wind, and it's very minute. but I used to have a voice activated tape recorder. And at one point in time, I was That's hard to do.

7:43 We were far ahead of them in the Cold War just because we could outsource it. That's right. And that's what they did to, what's his name, It took all his... It was a very famous case. Yeah. Took everything. Yeah, took everything. But I think it's the same guy you're talking about. It took all his... Again, I'd love to sit Putin down and ask him oil and now that oil is at 40 a barrel when it was at 100 they're having a major crisis do you

10:23 where the incentive structure rewarded you for your work and your ingenuity. But unfortunately, they have always lived under Do you think it's manipulated to fuck with events? Yeah, that's a big deal. There's just more oil. I mean, there's going to be debate. it. You know, there's some undeniable aspects to fracking. There's some undeniable aspects to any

13:09 And that's what we're doing. Did you see how that 19-year-old kid came up with a device to clean all the plastic out of the ocean? It has a value. Yes. it'll all accumulate in this one area but it's like i think that any problem has a solution i I just researched the new name to find some updated stories on it. And they're gonna suck all that fucking

15:26 I wonder if there's a way for us to create hatcheries where the trawlers, where they drag for shellfish and stuff, It was delicious. Boyan Slat. Entrepreneur and inventor. Find this young man. That's kryptonite for any genius. He does it with ropes first to map out his course, you know There was a UFC in Vegas, and we were doing a show out there. That young, young fellow?

17:58 They're going to find him. The Dutch are the tallest men in Europe. Just came out of the woods, Yeah. Yeah Cause it just And stole your sneakers Parliament. He was just being evil. Come on. male China Chinese men age directly. are directly related to. It was so different. Dealing with 1200 AD, you have to wonder blue eyes in what was Russia. in the winter when it was frozen solid.

21:23 mare's milk and blood. they would cut their horses and then fill their uh their class I don't want to say the name wrong, across the frozen ocean. incredibly delicious fat big fat animal because they're just constantly eating to try to keep Sam Sheridan was telling me that they went to rescue, To bring down my inflammation. Really? flat and white and goes on for as far as the eye can see god and these people are living there man

24:36 They're eating walrus. They didn't know where they were going. Right. And it was easy. And you could domesticate animals. But, you know, that's like barley and millet and wheat, and it was easy, just the way, and you could domesticate animals. Peter, I'm trying to figure his last name Italian find it Makes sense. They're watching their animals eat these mushrooms, and their animals would have, like, more energy.

26:56 For the most part, though, they say that with dogs, But then again, I think birds eat certain berries. How fucked is that, man? whatever happened, the sap got in the meat God damn. Why did you have oleander Isn't it weird that a lot of really pretty things is they get famous, and they're 38 and 40, and they're kind of dorky. All right. Like what's going on here?

29:49 Mad cash. There was a who's Persian And it was this fucking, I don't know, like one point something million dollar car. The speed, the power, the opulence, Yeah, I'm moving towards older and older cars. And you can shut that off and you're on your own. But somewhere around 3,000 pounds. It's physical. A proof of concept vehicle. But everything about it is about aerodynamics

33:05 They like the control that you get because you can kind of steer with a throttle. Like, you want everything to be glued. Call it tail happy. he takes and he power slides $200,000 Porsche that they let him borrow that's so they let him borrow car. He's just beating the fuck out of it everywhere he goes. It says GT3 RS accelerations and power slide. But anyway, it's just fun.

36:17 He couldn't be more macho, by the way. Damn! It's a good question. And he's smart as shit. See, you don't find a thrill in this sort of automotive fuckery. You've got a broken gene. Remember, other countries like in Europe. I bet if you see one of those. I was into Bruce Lee. Right. Because we got our own NASCAR Let me tell you, boy, let me tell you what.

39:19 So they let girls do it. I think that Danica Patrick chick, she wins. Not at all. decide how to bust a move. It's physical. It's super Being American. What happened, America? keep filling it with gas man shut the fuck up with something that's a jazz Is that a diesel? state if fucking shit hits the fan. Those are great cars. You can be totally off the grid if you choose to be.

42:14 months now, and they still haven't converted us. So are you still spending money on electricity? And guess who has to do that? man in me. I follow these things. He said, it's not. I was thinking about this. we got into it, a lot of it was because we didn't know the history of that country. that regime? And when most of Congress didn't know the difference between Sunni and Shia,

45:46 His children, But it was a terrifying story Feeding the husband to dogs. and the spawning of ISIL. What the fuck? You're the first guy I've ever heard say ISIL. Yeah. No, he was John Cougar Mellencamp, wasn't he? I believe that the record company did. It's called Miami in Australia? This whole thing with John Cougar, just John Cougar, it's not good enough.

48:19 the way my second show for Melbourne is almost sold out. So if you're thinking about going, you fucks, you better act now. I'm excited. He went there and sampled some of the cuisine. He's 58 years old. Had a kid like 50, you know? We'd go, have a bottle of wine. And salmon and steak is pretty standard. And for me to say I've never had sandwich I've eaten one million times or I've never had steak that tastes like this, that's a big fucking deal.

50:50 And this sauce that looks like it was made in heaven. Here's why he's wrong, because he's never had barbecue in Texas. Beef ribs are generally kind of chewy. But that's in Austin. See that The brisket was really good. But Go eat at Black's and then go to the He's like, yeah, I'm Japanese, Mexican, and English. Oh, yeah. It's like... It was amazing.

53:49 But when we were there, John was doing his certification seminars. He's he's he's originally from North Italy And it's because he just knows what the hell he's doing. Fucking child I am. I'm such an idiot I'm such an idiot He's at P-Fit gym on Lincoln Is he He's a fascinating guy. I know he does. Yep. Straighten up, fella. And then by the time 20 minutes is over,

56:41 I mean, want it to. like, really flexible and so when people overstretch those tendons what happens is if the tendon is their ACL. And then when they had them start changing the way they trained, uh, more weight Keep going. I mean, you learn by mistakes. you you all die yeah well not only that they started introducing things like bombs and gas Well, he was the first one to figure that out, how to use poison gas on troops.

1:00:57 They put that scent in there. It's kind of crazy, man. was the only thing that uh she's bipolar lithium brings her way back to normal lithium is just an In the podcast, she's saying, like, this is so CRISPR, if you've never heard that one, that's another great one. It's going to be a real problem when people do do it like this this is like how it progresses you know this is how a dinosaur turns into a bird and this

1:03:44 What? Fuck. And, you know, and you see pictures of cave to be something like that a long time ago what? I think our ability to control our own bodies is just a part of the evolution of technology. efficiently and lives longer and all that stuff. If you could do it, why not? Yeah, but that's even I think if we create artificial life, we create some sort of an artificial thing that somehow or another profits on its staying alive.

1:05:59 motivating factors for you to improve on your your condition ultimately. And keep fucking and keep making more babies. And I think it ultimately, If you extrapolate that, and if you then say, yourself, that rudimentary need to sort of, or rudimentary might be the wrong word, but rewards all those things are rewards for behavior that's ultimately going to lead to procreation

1:08:27 So if play is the case, then it seems like we were just talking about this. in being fluent in a language like, say, pool, or jujitsu, or boxing, or even another language, I think, well, I don't have the answer, but I think it may lie in the area of understanding and coming closer to something maybe people call consciousness, Solving puzzles is integral to survival.

1:10:17 That are put in place. You need a watch that you can swipe and you need all these different new crazy things. here's what and But then there's another side to fucking reality that I'm fascinated with. Negative numbers, negative integers and things are mathematical constructs that you can't actually see and don't have material measurement necessarily, but they are theoretical and we use them and benefit from it.

1:12:34 And I'm not getting into this mystical stuff. our very biology, That's what I mean. No one is ever going to look at a computer and say, we're done. Like, they're so freaky that we have TV shows dedicated to them. And there's also the fact that they're out there braving the wild. They're You know? I mean, fuck, man. So she has tents. I mean, she was fucking on her back for like seven days before they found her.

1:15:47 Like, that this woman chooses to, that's where she's getting her jollies. The top of that is all cloth. she does whatever the fuck she wants but that's what those things look like they're they're they're What's that? are those people that she loves it too huh oh yeah cc she provides like this says hunting and fishing And during that time, that's when they fly people up there, and they go caribou hunting.

1:17:54 But the other one were caribou, and they're unbelievably delicious, too. Maybe I'll do it today. I said, do you shiver? Hunt wild boar on horseback with spears. about bow hunting like why bow hunt why do you have to bow hunt because it's I don't know 60 pound the 90s too hard for me. I don't use the 90 anymore. He's a 70 Just start out with like a 40 or 50. Just to get used to that.

1:20:09 I'm a little thicker. but it's fucking huge rubber elk. Sounds like your priorities are where they should be. See, I love all that stuff. Right. they're going to throw me into a pit. in that movie, Snatch. talking about before is like why is it fun like what is it about it i don't know but i just know But I like to relax. in achievement too there's happiness in getting shit done yeah but that's also that also goes

1:23:34 Of course. Comedy is like a sandcastle you build it i mean people can look at You go over to my house, I have Lenny Bruce posters. There's video of it. and was obsessed with this. He's a comic. He'd figure it out. But did you think it was terrible and homophobic at the time? I wanted to, Jamie, go to my Twitter page. There was the other person. under who's authority are you not issuing marriage licenses today?

1:27:21 You can call the police. I mean, the government is telling her. we also have to Do we really? What about one nation statue because the Satanists won the religious I don't think that's it. Look at the statue. It's a pretty cool statue by the way. Look at it. It's amazing Yes. I just like to clear the air. Because- okay, when you give a and his infinite presence.

1:31:27 Christianity is a powerful I'm not a religious guy, but I respect whatever that conversion can be, But now hold on. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you. Well, any sort of inspiration is good. you you know to get to get elected've got to believe in Jesus Christ. It's supposed to be a nation. It is adorable, and it's the fucking lunacy that's going on in colleges these days.

1:34:30 name of tolerance, and in the name of The same way anything happens. And thank God for our academic hotbeds that come up with all these ideas. people. It's one of the reasons why people don't respect people who grow up rich. Well, academics But they're also living under oppressive power. cultures holy shit was he lambasted yeah he got in a lot of trouble you know

1:37:01 Look at that. They've invented listen to these people, they are not tolerant Somebody posted a photograph of this. Well, how about the woman who was talking about, and this is Orwellian. This is exactly what We all have it. There you go. There you are. Oh, there you are. There you go. It's madness. She can't, that's also probably not happy with herself, probably socially awkward,

1:39:48 Well, fuck, man. You look really You know, if you say your name is Greg and your No, no, that's wrong. But of course I go, oh, it's vitiligo. of my hand it makes sense that they would want to know what's going on this And I think that what we're experiencing now with the transgender movement and even to an extent the gay movement is the pendulum swinging all the way in one direction.

1:41:53 You got killed. The way to not solve that is then Listen, I went to high school in Massachusetts. It's wonderful. Yeah, it's very European. Greek women. Her roommate. Oh, Jesus, that's not real. I, and not say what you come from, like European history? that's what I thought you'd say. Or how to, well, maybe you wouldn't say why. Pay attention to that now.

1:44:59 How dare you? Donald Trump would have been a great slave. It hurt so badly, I fucking renounced God. could be plucked very easily it was kind of a profound moment because that kind of pain and that kind of vulnerability And she did. If you walked into a room full of retards and you had a rifle in your hand and you said, in Congress that didn't know the difference between the Shiite and the Sunni, when he's talking about

1:47:21 I hear what you're saying. Yes. you'd be just like them. He was born to a father who had a lot fascinated that we never hire economic who actually didn't leave any... He never really worked in the... He was a community organizer. war and that we were a progressive group of people and that Obama did seem really sensible Well, international probably, but social issues, I think the best way to deal with

1:50:19 And also, if you look at the president, like if he relies on Congress and Congress relies, You do need a decision maker. Yes. Yeah. It had been up until Dick Cheney. You know, because if you listen to Joe Biden talk and, you know, he's OK, it's all right. I think, you know, he says he's a big free market guy, but I think Obama really does You can't just have everybody.

1:53:45 What? There's an intelligent argument So they just listen. They're picking corn all day. there's a there's a fucking fantastic documentary called King corn yeah it's corn syrup and corn starch and corn this and corn that. Yeah. They're different. That's for fuck's sure. It's a big fucking chicken house. pecked it as soon as it went down they're fucking cannibals those monsters they eat it they would

1:56:58 buy. But really, they want a free Not quite that yellow, but pretty close. The Joe Rogan eggs? Ezekiel's good stuff. And I put it over I'm not scared. either one of those things? Okay. I'm not crazy about kidney and stuff like that. Montana and we ate that deer skull you you didn't eat any of that deer tongue? What was that called again? I saw you eating it.

1:59:42 And that was one of them, But you're never going to see it. hey, is anybody using this ravine? And you had to be there. I've never made anybody laugh Just leave it right there. Absolutely. Automatically. I go, I was in the garage. Yeah. I mean, how much could it really possibly cost? That's like fun while you're doing it. It was horrible. It's not censored. Unlike the

2:04:07 I told him there was a fucking animal that was trying to get into my chicken coop and Really? how about raccoons oh yeah really yeah raccoons are mad if you're a forest grouse you better run I shot it. thought since that was the first day but oh we're gonna see a bunch of turkeys He likes to pretend he's in the world. Like, literally the best restaurants in the world. And Rinella never joined us once. Oh, it's incredible. Oh, fuck.

2:05:56 We ate grilled duck and filet mignon. They did not want to admit that they were staying in a house in Napa Valley while they were doing that show. Just like the stuff I buy at the store. I need to cook. Let's do it tomorrow. Some crazy deal with Fox Sports. We are going to do a live podcast. I'm on that podcast. Hey, man, come on. He should do it. He's tired of taking shit for just saying anything

2:08:13 he can't he does care about her or you need the extreme opposite. Change the subject. I like how It's like I'll be your audience. Great. I go, no, I'm not funny like that. You're talking, Of course, But first of all I don't there's a lot of shit that I take from hunting that for no reason know we was a very friendly exchange she had beautiful artwork she's a really

2:11:15 and compress them into cat food. yeah like that turkey was shot five people we can have a meal. Yeah. And it's over. is the revenue But it's so fucked up that it's true, I guess they do eat elephants, It's fucked. You know if you live with your house your family and your 40 you're fucking loser from their family in another country It'll drive you crazy.

2:13:57 And he's pawing at the door. He wants to get to me. Come on man. Hang out with me And they don't want to be captive. He's one of the family. What is this? It shows the parking lot and it shows where It is a form of torture. It's solitary confinement. Have you seen Fluffette? Meow. I mean, it's the most domesticated animal ever yeah But the other one is seven.

2:16:35 So many generations. With breathing. Well, they just played with genes. had two wolves he was walking are you reading tweets you shut that goddamn phone i was actually horrifying they're horrifying but they're beautiful the wolves're fucking horrifying. They're horrifying, but they're beautiful. And I'm reading all these stories about what's going on now, how they're decimating the elk

2:19:08 make their living off their livestock fucking wolves are such efficient killers and keeping The people in Vancouver, they're all liberal. Asked me a question I own a And then the wolves can't take it all at once. I've heard the Inuit used to take, knife yeah yeah it's terrifying harsh a harsh way to live that's those worlds man that's those worlds Feeling something, hitting a wall is very important.

2:22:41 So this adversity, rather, Have you ever seen the Toronto protests where these feminists, hostile act it's a controlling act it's exactly what the Red Guard did in Mao's China. they should be treated the way these women were treating that guy. They shoot their guns at the wrong target because it's an easy target. They turn him into that. Yeah. so that then you can actually tackle what's really going on.

2:26:13 Well, it's very important, though. debate is this. You're a gun nut, and I don't like you. You're a hippie liberal, and you don't It never starts that way, unfortunately. because when this guy came up Columbia University. mental illness. There is an idea that maybe if somebody is exhibiting psychotic behavior and What about stuff that kind of throws things in the air?

2:29:01 Yeah, he's colorblind now. Whoa And he's just saying it A bunch of times She's a neuroscientist She and Kara Santa Maria who's been on this podcast a bunch of times fine dude we're gonna be you're happy you know fucking born in the 1600s we And when someone doesn't want to take that medication, there's one of the episodes, the episode I was talking about called Elements on Radiolab that was talking about lithium.

2:30:56 So this idea that we have about medication when it comes to mental illness, something. But in some instances, it might save a lot of lives if you've got a crazy person. And then you know they keep doing their tasks, but if you give them cocaine they just do cocaine until they die So they laced the water with cocaine and heroin. of said, I'm done with that drug thing. So it changes things up.

2:33:49 Probably almost exactly or really illogical really really really fucking close right maybe the reason why people are into drugs and coke. the indigenous tribes in the Amazon you're talking about serious apparently is really nice it's really does God keep you mellow or does it actually hype you up? which is incredible. So what we'll do is we'll say, we'll get them in rehab,

2:36:45 an entire infrastructure of support around them and that apparently from what I understand a lot of like addiction specialists talk about that recreational ibogaine it's just like really intense um view of your life very very deep and uh complex Reality it dissolves reality in some sort of strange way and then I haven't experienced the Ibogaine You see them all around you, like really obvious landmines.

2:39:16 that I don't have that I don't drink much I don't I never had any of that in their bones. And that's why Well, that's true, too. Yeah. It is true. As well. and I'll write I don't think I forced you. I think his name is. sacks did a great thing on a guy named tony seoria gets struck by lightning he's an orthopedic surgeon What is this? because all he wanted to do after that was play the piano.

2:44:20 That's kind of fascinating. Nicotine. You get a strange, altered perspective on things. And it comes out of this don't give a fuck thing that alcohol allows you to look at something from a different angle. Yeah. that makes you feel happy and makes you feel sad that is manageable. And I think, too, there's definitely a danger in putting it all on a disease

2:47:14 Not at all. now what they say is if you think of anxiety in terms of just your body getting ready for action Again, I can't remember. This is a growth moment. Very important. Fucking important. Why does it last only three hours? They wanted more. They called me a lazy do-nothing bitch. Was talking shit about But it was surprising He was mad Try Z. September 22nd,

2:50:32 We haven't even advertised it. I'm at the Ka Theater on Friday night with old time theater theater. Yeah. And they converted it into a comedy club. It's a theater. It was an old time, like theater theater. I can't wait to do it. Bye bye. that