Joe Rogan Experience #7060001 — Brendan Schaub & Fight Companion ? Transcript

Transcript

0:00 When I'm driving around that Corvette, the Corvette doesn't have a radio. no radio, just driving around doing other things, because i had to fold newspapers up and throw them out the window I probably should have tweeted. It's about to start here. I'll tweet it right now. That might help. I'm with you, man. I agree. It'd be like living with a crazy coked up stripper every day.

2:01 And she's got tattoos on her neck and she's loud and she smells like cum Well, I think it's good for, like, once or twice a week. All things. Mix it up. You know one of the things that's been freaking me out lately? Not freaking me out, but it's been like, I've been like wondering on it. Some people fucking hated it. It's like you can't. The only person who ever made everyone happy was Bill Cosby.

4:22 In that bullshit sweater all the time. that literally Anthony Hopkins you know there's a few actors but no one knows him you know I'm First of all, I love Jay Leno. Before that, before that, before we knew that. people still didn't like them really yeah yeah there was my first of all jobs love Jay Leno yeah my Like real edgy. and became more, Oh, 100% corporate.

6:49 My buddy used to work for him. What? And I think in the beginning they were nervous And the thought was that he was the guy So it was weird that their, I don't remember what my original point was, Tonight Show you know it's like the whole thing was different it was they don't want you and they're probably easily influenced by commercials. was ripping off ideas from the Howard Stern show.

9:46 Writers will come to see you perform, and then they turn your bits into like a part in a sitcom And some of these guys will come to comedy clubs, and they'll just pilfer idea. They think they're they're just gonna get away with it. Just do it now and then I'm really good He actually wasn't supposed to be on he took the microphone away from the guy who was next the guy who was next to this guy

11:26 And then shut that shit down. Is he dead? You know? Dogs with broken hips. You've got to bring that motherfucker out to the light of day, You think? And you're just sort of like a train to get the idea to the people. Yeah. That was the bit So you did stand-up. Yeah. That's nuts. They probably want to hear it again. Yeah. it's special for those people

15:23 I would love to hear that again If it's good, you should release it. No, they're going to come anyway. Sucks if you come up with a dud you do have that advantage brendan what do you think of and it's some ronda rousey question next question oh how much would Yes. It's public relations. We got to have more than that, man. It's like a moment of pause where they get to the string and they go, what am I doing here?

18:03 If you're a good guy and you're telling the truth, I don't see why you wouldn't just keep doing it. Oh, he wishes he could do what you do. Yeah, he goes, I wish. That's not really the same kind of but. Yeah, he just goes, I wish. He goes, I stuff. Do it, man. Oh, he wishes he could do what you do. And the road for him to get to the point where he can is long.

18:53 Yeah. And having a poor self-image is fucking super hard to get over. I was getting ready to try out for all these NFL teams. how do I look she goes you look a little soft you look you look soft you look kind of chubby I don't know, man. But you were like, what? True. That's a mean bitch. Well, I'm not a bad guy. That's right. Have you? For sure, it's not mine.

21:49 Super aggressive I don't even understand Really? I looked like an athlete. That's all I did all day. I had a couple girlfriends. I don't think I was even that good socially when I started doing stand-up. But with comedy everybody has to like you and then you realize like you're not that likeable Like a guy like that is so focused on this one thing.

24:39 Yeah, man. But George is. Saint-Pierre? I wouldn't say George isn't the most outgoing guy. And I could never relate to it. BJ got his black belt in three and a half years. BJ sat by and goes, I never thought about it that way. And then he goes, I realized, It's fucking all in, man, and nothing else matters. fight. I was. You know what's weird, man?

27:45 I'm like, damn, I hope he's okay. Instead of thinking that was an amazing fight, amazing fight i think man i hope they're okay It becomes that extra thing that you have to think about, you know, it came time to fight that you ever seen the old school RoboCop where he's about to attack someone's They're in the zone. They're don't know why could Could not tell you why.

30:19 Maybe once. trying to kill each other then they're nervous as fuck before that you know but they're not as And this dude hits this guy. But it was just the poetry of it and the explosiveness of it that just boom, boom, boom, I was watching the last ufc i was watching I'm like, that's the future, man. boxing wrestling right and then you see these young guys and it's like fuck man

33:23 Even his punches. where I had so much footwork and I'd touch and move, touch Was he? He's dangerous. To a certain point, because then you're going to get a guy That question mark kick does not have a lot of power behind it. He throws it a lot. But that guy was throwing it like a whip off his front leg. though. He can. He can. He certainly can. But yeah, he'll use the back. But that guy was throwing it like a whip off his front leg.

35:23 He went back to his corner and said, my rib's broken. He's the motherfucker. can keep it yeah he keeps wheel kicking people in the head he can keep it does But standing with him was a fucking nightmare. Yeah, Matt Brown beat him up. He survived, though. And it's very unusual because he stands orthodox I've seen a few of his fights. But what he's got is an unusual—he's got a very high level of karate and kickboxing and taekwondo.

38:15 Yeah, I stalked his Instagram. He looks like Look at how he does that. and put some chemtrails behind it, he would be absolutely convinced. Oh, you're saying that because of pussy? Just a break every now and then. You gotta unload that dick. Yeah, you gotta won't be happening like that after a while, man. Well, a body like that needs to fuck. You got to unload that dick.

39:39 He's good at everything, and his athleticism's going to carry him so far. That's what I'm saying. Isn't that a perfect example? for a while. I'm just saying We're seeing Northcutt's amateur career right now with only seven fights. Trust me. But she's won, what, two or three now? Yeah. And I think when you deal with someone like Gennady Golovkin, perfect example, he's had

42:25 He's on such another level. It's tough, right? I called out fucking Brock Lesnar after I beat fucking Gabriel Gonzaga. It's been around for so long. We're going to slowly build him up with some tougher and tougher fighters, We're going to give him a test in this fight. Damian Maia, who's fucking smashing people. You look at all the champs, they have this extensive amateur background.

45:06 Just murk people and get comfortable. Most people in the sport at the championship level are not like John Jones. Like there's only a few guys like Gustafson is a good example. But he's's like a... That fight was crazy. He was whooping everyone's ass it out. Nah. he'll figure it out. Jacked, man. That guy, He's a good example. he's a young guy. Sucks to be Phil.

48:20 Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I think is the biggest threat to John? Why are you smiling? fights rumble what happens john takes him down wears his ass out and breaks him in the second Fuck. What do you think about this TJ Dillashaw thing? And so, yeah, TJ's going there. What? So what is the Muscle Farm deal? Oh really yeah, because since Reebok came right like that's pretty smart. It's smart. It's actually pretty smart

52:00 You gotta be social media savvy, though. Yeah. It's supposed to be all about, like, if you get a tweet from me, That's you. I was like Was at the Or it didn't work out or whatever. Yeah. I'm doing the movie. I get it 100%. we don't work with the fire and the kid. I'm like, cool. Well, the deals with me and Brian and like, Some way. the action and get in return they would provide them with a certain amount of

56:08 So what they're doing is they're seeing like, this guy's missing out on some money. What I'm going to do is I'm going to move in here and I'm going to take some of his, It's crazy. We're going to give you 50% of the ad revenue, but you're going to make a lot of money. The ghost morning show. Yeah. I'm going to put this billboard up. We're trying to find it.

58:22 But Calum was like, absolutely not, man. You can't. Hey man, I'm just trying to get a the podcast. Like, not anymore He interrupts the podcast Like not anymore That's why those They spend money to try to stop Just because you have stupid opinions doesn't mean you shouldn't But in the Bible, it's very clearly says don't get tattoos. We're both fucked

1:00:22 there's rules that people break in the Bible all the time But for whatever reason with really religious folks that gay rule is the rule that they want enforced as being decadent and indulgent the line like god there's so many people that think along the same way what is well this is an You're all talking like you're strip club DJs. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

1:02:56 yoga place that will I'll pull it up on my Twitter. I think they wanted something that's theirs. They want to exclude Caucasians. It's tough. The problem with that kind of thinking is it's still the same thing. Just make your fucking yoga place just super inviting to blacks. it's fucking stupid so stupid if you're white stupid if you're black stupid if you're asian

1:05:16 So it's super touch for me. Jesus Christ. He was on a public transportation bus. Oh, my God was this? Where'd this happen? Denver. Denver. It was on a public Wow. And I remember, It's weird, right? that would be, like, no big deal. but never way no way it would never happen it wouldn't be possible but when you get enough and they all have this fear of it,

1:07:43 Kristen Beck. Transgender, it happens all, it's their number one concern. Especially today's society. And you know what? It's like if you want to be Debbie now, that's cool. You're in the wrong place. they got to where you are in a fucked up way. Oh, yeah, dude. They're getting ready to start it back up at 8 o'clock Pacific time. So Joe Schilling already fought?

1:10:00 They're only an hour. Yeah, dog. He won that fucking crazy four-man tournament. Oh, yeah, man. I don't think Gloria will be mad. You can't do that with this. A lot of Denver boys on this card being in Denver. Are they going to do it in Brazil? I don't think that's confirmed. Okay. He's excellent. Got a goddamn John American flag on his back. Snow leopard chased him all the way down the cliff, grabbed him by the ass, about to eat him anus first.

1:13:32 Dude, I was depressed as fuck. know those those things the combines those things that they turn up there they cut the wheat with There's almost no way, unless you're growing your own food 1,000 pounds? Enormous. It's a big animal. Well, it's a lot of dangers. Look at that. A lot of skill with a bow and arrow. Yeah, that for sure. I respect bow and arrow more. Well, it's a lot of dangerous.

1:15:19 Yeah. Moose are even bigger than them. Then you and your friend they had it well first you you back the truck to it and then they put it into the back of a Might wake up in the middle of the night with predator dreams, though. or your rifle skills, for that matter. It's got a tree growing out of it. I'll go behind a tree, bro. It's not that common because they're usually scared

1:17:41 he got run over by a fucking moose And in the process, this moose comes behind him and sends him flying. That's why people have these beautiful ideas of what animals are Everlast, he's totally unrelated. And he's going to do, like, a thing with him where he takes him out, You ever see a wild boar before? They have some photos. The first time I was ever there, we were passing by this really thick,

1:20:36 It sounds like there's demons in there tearing each other apart. Yeah. The fucking king got killed by a wild boar. probably ridiculous see that dick so you see that doctor you see that doctor in three kids. Peep it. Takes the car over. You're the worst today. So then Shane Carlin and a bunch of us did like a fundraiser for him. That's rare, right? their foot.

1:23:09 You want the velvet. Jamie got it from the dollar store. Well, he thought it was going to be a gangbuster business, but the business dropped right after he bought it. That's tough. What is his name? and then he touches you with that and spins Not that much money, man. I just root for glory. I don't miss much. Joe Nguyen, have you seen Nguyen fight?

1:26:11 She got one on 115. Ooh, basic bitch. Basic bitch. Basic bitch. Enjoy your coffee, basic bitch. Nature likes that hip to waist ratio. Juicy tits. and they gently put, and if they have weight to them breast milk, these titties are down to produce. If you see a girl with weird hips and her ass is flat, she walks with a stumble, Dude, flat ass. We'll figure that out. Well, it's not even that. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? If he gets serious enough, I don't mind if a girl has small breasts. No, we'll figure it out. There's a lot of really hot girls that have small breasts. We'll have money. We'll figure that out.

1:28:51 100%. I have to move on Wow I'm just kidding I'm not You are not kidding. I'm not kidding if you see my girl. She looks like she's from planet Pluto. like that's the attraction is that she'll be good at nurturing she has breasts for but the ass thing He's done. He's done, done. Did you ever see that one? We're not talking about normal Overeem now where it's like, oh, we don't know if he's uber rain we're not talking about normal over now

1:31:14 Good for him, man. Looks like Ari Shaffir. Hey, he's trying to make it happen. What happens if a girl has a flat ass? It's the way of the world. They snuck in with the tit implants, Women's lips. This is nonsense. This is early in the card. You think he's flexing? This plastic they shove in your ass to make your ass stick out isn't fooling anybody.

1:33:28 I might be a basic bitch. Okay. Somebody had to keep trying with that thought until they got it right, what they are is the dude with the feather jumping off the cliff. This dude from Canada just landed a beautiful knee to the body. Who is a little bit later on the card Do you miss Denver at all in any way? It's my favorite spot. Yep. but then I want to go back to Marina del Rey,

1:36:30 I've always been concentrated more on them mountain like I remember going to um Jesus I don't know where the fuck it was like one of the first They scream. to kill, man. Especially with a bow. They do battle. I'll show you some pictures of this dead one that they found it got stabbed up That high-pitched shit, that's the guide making the call. Damn.

1:39:26 Fucking basic bitch elks. They're like, what's up? You guys just, hey, what's up? So what he found was, like, you could see the mountain lion footprints, And then they catch the cat on top of this thing. I love the ocean. I can't get enough of the ocean. Yeah,'m over it, man. You're over it. I love the ocean. And I would wake up every morning just looking at that water going, whoa.

1:41:30 And at nighttime, it's terrifying. for a house that's stuck in the sand Why are they underwater? You know what I'm saying? It's got a nice sweet spot up a hill. death. God damn, that's dark. It tilts. It's going to be all underwater. Fuck, bro. You want a house at the top of the mountain. You want a want three. You want a house at the top of the mountain.

1:44:19 You think? But, you know. And it's like it's cleaning up and LA's putting a ton of money into it This is a tough fight. There's an entire whole ecosystem of people in downtown L.A. This is a different thing. Yeah. They get uncomfortable too. everything, right? I think some of them are mental health. It's healthy to be a good friend. That's a choice.

1:47:32 can do it physically to overcome those and there's all sorts of deformities and So then it becomes a mental health issue as well. But I think that could be considered Man, that's an easy getaway. We look at it like, oh're not balanced in an order. I got a lot of messages saying that that was the prelims and that the main card is going on now live. we were watching the prelims. Okay.

1:50:32 like you're a stalker, you start stalking a girl, you won't leave her alone, you're obsessed with disorder. Like when someone's a rapist to build Cosby, okay? For you to want to bypass that with a pill so you can stick your dick in her, All those are absolutely 100% possible. and the people that you encounter? is the thing though so if I if I am mental health issues there's a lot of

1:53:42 Hey, man, listen. I have this weird fantasy where I fucking loved and molested little kids. You can't even pretend. Just whack one off to stay sane. that's your taste right but if your taste is like young boys, like twinks, like 15-year-old twinks, you have nothing. together with some visual video effects engine. Kill these guys? I wish there was a way to just rewire you. I mean, I wish, in all fairness. I think you might have to. Them and the bums. Them and the bums. See ya. I wish there was a way to just rewire you.

1:56:17 Sure, man. that guy, what's his name, Halsley? He's ridiculous. Oh. I'm doing the same. Oh, the mango things. But those mangoes, those chili mangoes are so goddamn good. that came out of my mouth. They put sugar I'm fucking addicted, man. That's one thing I know about you. on a white bun, in front of Home Depot? Dude. I'm done, dude. No, I'm not going to have troubles.

1:59:52 but when I get it in my head that'll permeate itself in the rest of my life. I would assume. especially like you hear about friends going into business together and then, like, they start a restaurant or something and one guy fucks off with the cash and they wind up fighting each other. Basic-ass stepdad. They were so mad. It was really bad. Irf. My dad pulls in front of him.

2:02:57 See, the problem with that is Nick Diaz can actually fight like that. at you like, what's up dude, you want some- I remember my dad getting out of the car. And then the father becomes super violent. I never saw my stepdad fight, but I saw him almost get in a fight once. True, man. That shit happens. Yeah, man. For reals, man. If you need a gun. For reals, man.

2:05:16 It's a weird thing out there. think I said the same thing because I asked him like why should I have a gun World-class. Yeah, don't even say you tried. But you can get one, you know, legally, fairly easily. I got to fill out paperwork and shit. Is there a wait? Yes. It's running from the law. But Joey Diaz can't get a gun. Yeah, it's tough to sell that guy a gun.

2:07:45 Yeah. Is he still on Periscope He gets high, the morning joint. Yeah. I don't like it either. Dude, we should start streaming on Facebook. Oh, for sure. Shit. Sure. of people that fucking hate them, can't stand them. Some really big boys. Kick one more time, son. As long as it's 60-40, you're good. Tighten it up. and they're listening and they get mad.

2:10:57 you listen to a hundred and one of them piss you off Then they're looking I got so much hate. You know what I'm saying? They don't. Like, this is just your personality, your sense of humor. Like, this is fun. David Beckham. What's soccer, bro? Same thing. A few really horny girls in their 30s came down because they were, like, super attracted to him.

2:12:48 Yeah, it didn't work. We got him too late. holy shit. I agree. Doesn't have the build. Yeah. No, that's not what they want. I saw a study What they're doing is they're trying to get into the heads- Right, but they think that's what they're supposed to look like. Who the fuck? And then there's like Oh, you mean black people. They have zero endurance.

2:16:37 They would be gone. And saying you were soft. she wasn't popular. Yeah, big giant bodybuilder dude the wall? I like to pretend. This is how I've always thought would be the best way to suck it, and then just do an ace five-star. Good-sized hoggy on him. No one's like, you know what? For real. Let it out. Good for him. that one of the number one things is dick size.

2:20:02 I mean, you're pulling movies out of the sky. How close are you getting? I just looked at him and said, I get it, bro. It's a bummer, bro. Yeah. Wouldn't your dick grow? We can either take out this bitch-ass four-cylinder and put in this LS7, Denver product. Yeah, he's a tough kid man UFC too, right? Yes. He did tough kid. Um, I pretty soon. I used to have this bit

2:23:33 And then, I go, because die of an overdose and take one big dick pills work it take one makes my dick grow what if I take all of them how much do I take before I die and I'll take one less than that knocked out Super athletic. There's a lot of real good guys at the high level in this. I wonder how those contracts are. It's just, whatever it is, for whatever reason, Bellator has been around for a long time now.

2:25:04 crazy money. Well, why doesn't Viacom say, look, we could either have this middling product where we're always going to have good guys like Phil Davis and Tito Ortiz and Shlomenko You know, Rampage is in a lawsuit right now where he's got to figure out You can go and fight for them. The judge cleared him to fight. They have to figure out kind of their feeder system.

2:26:38 I love Phil. And Davis beat the shit out of him, man. I agree. Still a big victory, though. But guess what's next for him, though? You're going to sit out and wait for John and DC to fight? There's some interesting fights at 205. but Bader looked real where his jab has become so fluid and efficient Wayne Barrett versus Dustin Jacoby. A warm-up or something.

2:29:21 Well, he hit him, and then he choked him. Everybody's got to remember, he was at one point in time the motherfucker. He's one of the first guys to ever use a one-arm guillotine. He was, like, on the chopping block, man. Like, he's dangerous. Joe Schilling once, lost to Joe Schilling in the last fight, knocked Joe Schilling down. Dude, this is a good fight.

2:30:52 Jacoby's, like, super aggressive, too. I forget the dude that he fought, this badass Brazilian cat. Who did he lose to? It's just the big gloves thing, the defense is so much different. Damn, that stretch from 13 to It was Pereira. and you have a larger object to catch that larger object. Well, if you hate money and ratings, it'll work. But, I mean, Mid-America sees that shit, general people.

2:33:21 Joe, I'm with you 100%. Well, you would have a lot of dudes breaking their hands, too. Like you have to have real discipline to punch hard. That's why he started doing that. When they had gloves, he did that? You know, one of the things that Boss figured out how to do in some weird way, But he was probably the first because with Mo, This is what a kickboxer really looks like, a world class kickboxer.

2:35:49 I tried this on you. 30 seconds? That's a different time back then. machine in the gym, I'll do sprints on the elliptical machine where I crank it up to And those 30 seconds off, I'm like, oh, thank God. You're more focused on 30, 30, 30, 30, 30. But people associate elliptical with you're watching the news and going slow. Is it? You know how guys have, we're starting to see a trend where guys are sparring less and less

2:38:19 Dustin Jacoby trying to wheel. But look how easy it is to block punches with these goddamn big gloves. He's coming out here soon. I like that guy, too. He's a good dude. Yeah, really good dude. Funny. going to fight for the title. I like that guy too. He throws everything hard. He was touching the back of his head like it was a bad strike. Damn, Justin Jacoby. Congratulations. Good for you. What was I just saying? Fucking

2:40:12 Like the way he delivers knees is interesting, too. What happened? the DVR Back of the head. Oh, that's 100% good. I think pause and then fast forward Okay, now it's working. Give me that first view. He's grabbing this. him okay ready here we go here's dustin jacoby moving in. Check it. 100% clean there. Grazes that nose. Come on, son. Wayne Barrett turns his head sideways, and he hits him right in the temple.

2:43:49 Look at where it makes impact. Let's watch it again. And here it comes. Here it comes. Look. of his head and then it glances off the side of his head, Look. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know, man. That's legal even in MMA. That hit is illegal. That's all it is. Well, he's out for this fight. How is he so highly ranked? Those are the fights that he lost in glory.

2:46:49 Trying to be the baddest motherfucker in two disciplines. That is a crazy that even though he had a lot of success in MMA, he knocked out Mark Hunt. Robbie Lawler uncorked a nuke on his face. Dude. I think that, But I think there's fighter. But losing the way he lost nasty, no matter how you slice it. And get ate the fuck up. Yeah, Psychic Kato will get his ass ate up in the UFC. Oh, really? We about 10 minutes left before we're at 3 hours. Yeah, Psychic Cat will get his ass ate up and messy.

2:49:02 We'll make part 2 like 45 minutes. We'll go to 10 o'clock. We'll make part two like 45 minutes. I love that dude. We'll be right back.