Joe Rogan Experience #753 — Hannibal Buress Transcript

Transcript

0:00 boom jamie's fast today damn how are you brother i'm good to see you man what's happening how you Yeah I'm doing Wherever Yeah. God damn, that's a good show. They can do whatever they want. Just a cute little kid. of a woman pulling down her pants standing over was a sketch of a woman pulling down and then it was a person out of the three. Yeah. it's not a do with you it's not about me at all but that's that makes the story

3:38 Like, you had heard rumors, but it was never anything, like, concrete, you know? Because I remember being on, I was on tour in November 2014. And then that's what made it take off again. yeah there's nothing you can do first of all all, whoever did the meme thing, I'm convinced that the dude who did, I would move on move on and i mean it's not it's uh it's it's as i continue this, it's not really about me.

6:26 like vocal, but they're vocal online, so it seems like it's more. Yeah they gave you a TV show but you already had didn't do good i came to my place one day in fucking i've been on the road for a couple weeks And then Neil deGrasse Tyson, his nephew or somebody who's also in the science, he put out a song and his song sounds garbage. but I don't want to hear this guy rap.

8:59 You could say something contrarian and then people respond. has posed any other scientific Tila tequila We did Gathering of the Juggalos I did it for the stories at that time. She got potential in that market. It was interesting. Oh, you told people no? It was fun, though, man. And then Lexington Steel. everybody loves sex i mean sex is what it's one of the favorite things

12:33 That's what's fucked up about it. Yeah. I remember I didn't have a laptop. I ordered another one, and it was still soft porn. these movies aren't no cum shots Bill Hicks used to have a bit about hotel porn. sellers in the world. How dare you? I mean, I guess that's the move if you want to watch porn on TV. It's very restrictive what do you think and there's a fucking monster coming after the people. no this is a real simple it's just fucking so yeah

16:21 have this projection screen and they start playing the scenes So they play this movie and he gets out there noises like then someone says she's here and car pulls up, and the girl gets out, and so we're like do you think that he didn't know that she was a porn star like do you think I don't think it was very long. I guess. I got pictures of them together.

19:10 Well, it's Nina Hartley. Yeah. the guy and what's the what's the uh caption i don't know man and the dude and the slut low Like way back in the day. He was a nice guy. She's an attractive girl. gotta keep your edge and I go well what do you mean by that he's like you gotta I don't think they did. Yeah. I just remember it being, I just remember the stories in high school and shit. Around then, I just remember it being, and you know how everybody was making those late night jokes about it.

22:49 That is a joke that fucking everybody did. I like not when you're looking like this mouth. somebody kathleen madigan's bit was about oprah about how oprah's so rich like how could she be Oh, look at that. See? He's got someone, he hired someone to knock food out of his mouth. And there's a couple other ones. And I tried to do when I was doing my show, I would get pitch stuff and I would try to I don't know all comedy, obviously.

26:17 the comics were complaining so much It's like this is in the 90s like the early 90s. Yeah, and Stump you want, but you can't be fucking with them. And this is NBC writers who went to see him live. Terrible yeah, and they get they get desperado man ask me and I've been doing standup for 26 fucking years. I might not know. You know, say it without saying it's a black guy.

29:05 Yeah. You ever watch it? I watched some of it, but not. Maybe twice, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Yes. I forget what her catchphrase I'll get you some Alpha Brain, sir. I keep this shit handy. His producer, he's about, they're trying to wrangle him so we can start shooting my segment. But then he just, you know, did a whole show and a panel show. when you see it.

31:40 holding court, You know what I mean? So what is he doing? But it's also this momentum that's a part of it now. because of said her name when I My ex-girlfriend So it was I had to change it. and they didn't have to do any work. Yeah. Yeah, it was rough. Right. Right. Yeah. Someone said she's put out 15 hours of sketches in one year. Key and Peele? Peele.

36:08 It's fucking funny, man. poppy syndrome there's definitely an issue and it sucks man it sucks to watch all the blood in the Cosby video came out that fucking dude was still doing giant theaters. He was doing like 10,000 seat places You know when I go see Hannibal Buress. What is what is it? What are his thoughts on? What was it? He's not going to steal that from somebody.

39:29 But it's not really the world through your eyes. was written entirely by a team of writers and, you know, and he, you know, just sort of like why joke thieves are bad by someone who doesn't believe in intellectual property yeah well i I take kind of because you can take one, theory i know what if someone does it and they become like mencia they become huge right and

42:32 Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah, you just assume they're never gonna make it Because the show was very important. You know, who knows? Yeah. if she was anybody else, and all this shit was on, Like comics like her. he even pulled your chair back he even slid his chair back like yeah she'll be fine she'll be um, she had just cut and pasted or came up with some,

46:19 I never said anything about it because the season was winding down, That's a problem. I can't give this to Hannibal. that's a different thing. This whole thing is an interesting time because the accountability, accountability is so high all writers and everything like that. Parallel thinking is so common. she's all this shit then i got the the delivery delivery of the baby material like oh shit

49:35 No. Oh, man. It's the same fucking joke over and over and over again. Guys who haven't written in a while. That's a good move. like, shouldn't you just express yourself? You know what I mean? Yeah, they used a cartoon image instead of her. I have zero problem with that. that they enjoyed especially if I take you pig hunting. Blam Blam Weed and Ham.

52:39 Like, what is that? And I was like, what? If that's what you want, that's what you'll get. They go, dude, we're watching Sting perform for 50 people at this guy's house. nobody was paying attention. watch this huge band that's doing it. that fucking dude rocked out. It's tough to be like, okay, I'm going to go all the way, because you're so dependent on the reaction.

56:14 Yeah. and just don't acknowledge it People think it went well. After you ate it? yeah, but I'm glad you brought that up. because that gig sucked for me It was fun, but I did an hour. of money there's and so they get that so it was weird having these you know There's another interesting thing about that gig is that gig was where, He made the staff, powerful Jamie with the beer, ready.

59:52 He made the audience, not the audience, the staff sit and watch him eat curry. Cheers, brother. They came in his dressing room, and they watched him eat curry. He wants the security guard to tuck him in. Yes. Joe Rogan tells Hannibal It's not awful. I take pictures with everybody after the show. Or do you just appreciate what it means to people? For an hour or two.

1:02:33 Yeah, exactly. The one in Chicago was nuts. There's a the picture thing. Yeah. But it might be a thousand. Yeah. The one in Chicago was nuts. Yeah. You're like, yo, dude, there's a giant line behind you. Like, nah, man, let's just look at this camera. I want you to hold it up. Oh, man. Like after the whole Cosby thing happened, did you get heckled about it at all?

1:04:43 they just don't know what to do. No, no. It's only like 80 people. 9.30ish Chris D'Elia It is Since when? wall steve martin performed there yeah um i mean fill in the blank stephen wright performed that Yeah, like Bill Burrow pop in, Well, about the Oscars Joey Diaz brought up He showed up out of nowhere. Yeah. It was, I went on, then Kevin Hart went on,

1:08:56 All on stage at the same time? The energy is different. gain them back, that it works at. That place is hot. Yeah, and they charge you for it, too. I know you saw it, I didn't watch it. I'll watch it eventually. Was it good? your thoughts on it. She's a fighter. I would like to see over the years for that. It had some Like, I don't think he was public about it, but...

1:13:00 Posthumous? So being alive is Homis? Posthumously, right? about it and tell me about like what it was like over there he was a funny dude man he used to like for the first scene a blue tab for the second scene all of his lines were highlighted and he watching him work. We'll be right back. We hang out for a little bit, go to the craps table. I don't understand craps.

1:16:29 How about that? She was like, let's do it again. I was like, no, she was being demanded. is it harder for drunk girls to come? That happens. Yeah. people fucking up their lives. My friend Andrew, and he put together He blew it all and all that shit just to blow it. People do do it. Mm-hmm. I watched part of it. But so did... Dirty Grandpa one and it said Dirty Grandpa

1:20:55 Maybe he doesn't give a fuck. No, I think They want that house in Spain or wherever the fuck they like to vacation. was a big thing that Robin Williams was experiencing. He was talking about that before he like 24 million bucks, Then you're going to go off? When I become I feel like Family Feud you got a bunch of different people, Softball. Just fucking, you know, clean dick jokes.

1:23:23 He's on Let's Make a Deal. a deal oh it's weird they rehash these I mean, I definitely could do it again if I was broke, but I wouldn't want to do it again unless it was something unbelievable. when I went in there I'm they like they didn't want me at first because I wasn't making fun of it. We need someone to mock this. This is fucking ridiculous. This show is ridiculous. the other producer, my friend David Hurwitz, was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look at what we're doing. Yeah.

1:25:01 How many seasons was it? I would take pot lollipops with me to the set Did you ever hook up with a contestant? No. You just look down at your dick and you go, how dare you? the dude leaves. And I'm like, I had my instinct here. Like my face wasn't in the sleeping picture, I wasn't on her, These fucking goof nuggets. to a guy. Like the fame means something to them.

1:29:09 dope ass I heard a magazine like her go get her for me. I definitely think those models, there's something to that for some guys. It feels just weird sometimes. But you shouldn't just be able to go on my Facebook page and be like, oh, he's dating her. know what your kids look like. Yeah, that is weird. all that stuff that's like a part of like what I'm selling and I was like wow I never even thought

1:32:47 You know what was most fucked up about that? You're in an ancient cult of kid fuckers. What the fuck are I think churches are great. No, no, no. This fucking cunt. you know why she was mean, Joe? Yeah. And I remember thinking, this is so bizarre. I mean, I didn't talk to him after high school, but I assume he went with it. to it what's an organization yeah there's an organization that needs needs members to grow

1:36:26 to some new place is fucking bananas. NASCAR is a fucking He doesn't ride around the Popemobile. Somebody shot the Pope. Yeah. Maybe. I mean, they must have moves, right? You want a drink? All right, now let's go. I'm something special. Like off of a car. There's just so many nice cars out here. Stickers or cards? They have a U? Yeah. obviously been a

1:41:33 blah, blah. don't say My hotel is downtown. Can you link me with Stephen Merchant? I hadn't seen this dude in 11 years or some shit, It was like, oh, what's up? Sounds like a And then when I get to And Tony's asking me some questions. You're not even supposed to be here. When a guy's driving and he's looking at you in the rear view mirror, Once I got in the car

1:45:52 Did you? And he had, also he had that shit in the speakers. a fucking perilous terror filled ride because we're on the highway and this guy and i'm like When you're looking down, I can't wait for rental. You get on the highway It slows down. I'd like to upgrade That'll be a problem. He periscopes everything he does. Yeah. It just, at the same I'm going to step out real quick.

1:48:58 And he came back up like an hour later with a new periscope saying like what happened. at a ridiculous level. Like he literally Like the Apple TV, it's built in there. There's a class action lawsuit that someone filed about the old phones. processors and whatnot It used to work good. What? The new ones are about as No Yeah, it sucks I'm not defensive at all.

1:52:13 That camera's on? I know. I got more stories. Eric Andre, Byron Bowers. yeah got out there January 3rd All right, it's Club Harlem. I don't know the owner's name, but it's full of vinyl records. But the bar itself, it only holds 10, 15. Whoa. Jimmy, let's start a bar. So I'm at this bar. He just did what exactly he wanted. talking in japanese she talked to me a little bit i found out she lives in the same neighborhood that

1:56:09 I said, I guess she was that faded. You think you're some cool comedian. She's like, he's a monkey. Have you seen this dummy? All I did You just asked me It was one of the weirdest things. you that you're doing that's disrespect it was the it was so weird man alcoholism when someone's sometimes people do have that sort of thing though when they meet you like that's that guy from tv

1:59:17 Well, it was a soft check. Like, you can't act the same. and you'd start tell you bitch you're on Comedy Central Look at, and then stupid over here says this, and that's something maybe we understand that other people don't. They were leaving. And then I bye to them they were leaving and This is the shit you leave me? New York's a harsher environment. I did have a situation where somebody joked with me. It was,

2:03:03 Oh, shit. You woke up on a stretcher. I had tweeted out a photo of my fucked up ass face. After I posted this, I'm laid up in the hospital with my skull fractured. But I don't think he meant it maliciously, but I think it was a bit tone deaf. But I think it was based off of, he was holding on to this seatbelt argument from a couple years ago. I'm in the hospital.

2:05:47 Five years later. Like, someone maybe, like, will hear you and Keith or someone like that joke around like that, Yeah. But, yeah, I don't know. But the wrong person can send you that and you'll be like, in that you know what I mean I don't know why I checked my Twitter If I was at the bar and I just happened to check and it was like, oh, you Like, if I was at the bar, and I just happened to check,

2:08:21 I'm drugged up in a hospital bed in south carolina of all places yeah like holy shit with you but people will they were legitimately fanning out over aziz over my hospital bed it was super I think it was because I was wearing glasses. I think that was going into the first season of Eric Andre's show. I don't remember. Wow. There's no fun. Growing up, man.

2:11:27 alright that they're gonna have but to them meeting you is all, it's weighted. Oh. i met this uh fucking god damn it this guy has been in a million movies. Yeah, one of those fucking things. And I was like, what's up, man? Yeah. constant mocking thing turn it down to two. Bring it home. February 5th. How's that place? Is it a high ceiling? at least in my experience, the second show is usually the better show.

2:16:09 Yeah And uh You gotta open invitations It's over, bitches.