Joe Rogan Experience #758 — Tom Papa Transcript

Transcript

0:00 person to do it on their thing like we're plug into it we're live we're just discussing uh very and realize I'm not really that restricted financially from building shit I might just ridiculous view and have that view and for all of us. The one before. On my way back, the whole building like a rubber band. You laid on the bed? Really weird. I looked out the window.

3:14 It's a matter of time before it gets hit by a massive tsunami and an earthquake. two favorite things in life pool playing pool and a comedy club it's almost like they designed it To say, hey, fuckers, relax. Come on, Tom Papa. Yeah, Pendleton. Yeah, do you have an emergency kit? Okay. I use it when I brine things. Man, there's nothing like it. But then once you smoke it and then cook it like right out of the smoker and then serve

5:34 So where's the cooler come in? with ice. And I lock it down and I just leave it outside for days. Six days later, I open Yeah. You see all the juices at the bottom of that So I have meat that'll last for a week. I'm going solar, though. But you can have it set He paid for panels. Yeah. I don't know. He's like, I couldn't get them to turn it on. You have to take pictures of your house, pictures of the charger,

9:08 You would think they would be the opposite. So, like, say if you were outside the comedy store and you're like, I need a rental car. So I said, okay. Wow, I want to try this service out they give you the key. Power's up. And it just sort of, you put it in drive and okay, we're going. back, I drove here, But it's not even. There is a big difference when you're slamming it.

11:13 But it's weird how it accelerates without gears, which is very hard for people who've driven a regular car to comprehend. Shut the fuck up. It drives better than I do. Jesus. Like you could ride someone's ass, and then it'll do it that way. Good. As long as you have the option to be autonomous on a country road To a point. Yeah. Maybe it's going to be one of those things where they're going to be forced to have to

14:59 Well, you know, that's the grand conspiracy theory about Michael Hastings. I remember that all through Europe. Yeah. Well, it globally crippled flights for a long time. I remember that all through Europe. dead motherfucker like we're gonna find you find you. You just cost American lives why isn't he running for president? Kennedy! What do you mean?

17:34 talking so i'm sorry shit about him started getting some serious death threats because this guy Really? Yeah. And steer that motherfucker right into a tree. Like that is nonsense cell phone and make me go into a tree on Laurel. Yeah, I mean, it was a double whammy of fuck-ups. manipulate it and make it very negative and you know they they can do things like that if they

21:26 I mean, in their mind, they might not even be the evildoers. It's heavy. that i've read right and uh they thought he'd kicked it but you know death threats will fucking Who knows? Yeah. You'll get productive instead of... Not one. The whole business is entirely criminal as far as politics, like dropped off a little bit you know with education but yeah people are fucking dumb man

24:45 it was just a lucky break you know i smoked with my sister when i was 15 and she was 14 i tried it i love cigars cigars are great but it's funny when you know someone lights up a cigar around But a cigar, forget it. I got a cigar over here from Michael Dowd. No. Oh, yeah? he's in jail for a long time so yeah try to put his life back in order jeez but he just got caught

27:22 We're totally good here. I don't know. Yeah. If you get the real deal, now though. Yeah. Allegedly, because it's not legal. He's like the biggest comedian in France. And then he brought some stuff from France, and I couldn't really tell if it was different. I think so. I mean, once people realize that there's so much money in America now. And that was pretty trippy.

30:29 It's interesting how they have to do that, right? Is that it? In your house? I got to go outside. What's that smell? I'm going to show you what to do. The ones who smoke them? Oh, she's one of the guys. Yeah. Yeah, he's a psycho. Like shoes. Bead wearing assholes. It's the guy in college with the acoustic guitar. would not break out that guitar it wouldn't it wouldn't happen right it happens because girls

33:53 for sexual harassment and fucking with people. Yeah, but I feel like I should be getting paid. You know, this isn't like, you know what I'm saying? Oh, that hair. Yes. there's one person that's some sort of charismatic leader like that and then you're doing something spiritual like yoga They say that he's a very good teacher, but he's an asshole. They want to fuck him.

36:41 I've heard of that place. They've got a couple kids or they're even older. Really? Do you? Keep your clothes on. tried to copyright that sequence, but he was turned down. This guy's kind of a douche. Yes. Yeah. And probably still makes a lot of fucking money. Yeah. See, that's like someone teaching jujitsu and saying you can't teach those moves. You know what I mean?

40:18 He used to wear the grape smuggler. I want to beat you up in the parking lot. I hope so. How rude. I mean, you're just there to do yoga. And you fart. You're in that hot yoga class, all hot and sweaty, and afterwards the teacher wants to fuck. Okay. And she moans back And the lady got up on the table something I'm like she wasn't well I mean you get time massage they do it all

43:42 I'm like, just go crazy. And then she just fucking climbs on top of that table and just jacks me. You don't have to say a lot of comedians. I have a security building. I think also you're dipping into the world of people who get paid for sex and it's not You're fine. never happened. You need to talk to Brian Redman. He'll out that these gay guys like flamboyantly gay guys were coming to this one guy and they would be like

46:29 Yeah. Sexual advancement. Back your ass up into their hands. Look for my phone. Just started last week. Like a good show? Kardashian? that's Shapiro F. Lee Bailey one episode This poor bastard. 2016 wig. You can definitely see him trying to put his rump in a massage therapist's hands episode 8 Oh, it's so good. He made a deal with the government, with theian government where he would admit to this is all historic

49:59 wanted to bargain that down to a lesser charge, he built his own super powerful luxury prison. Yeah. He was just killing everybody. Shit. Really? Oh, he killed everybody. He blew up planes. Just killed nailed. Yeah. And he's like. They didn't even have him nailed. He turned himself in. He was just killing everybody. Oh my God. It's an insane story. Is he still alive?

51:24 Pablo was billion. Per month. Per month was 2 billion. But it says it was Happy fuck. Babies. He got arrested and he was smiling at them like, you dumb fucks. That's for real, man. His son, who's 30, he's 38 years old, since changed his name, describe what life was like Fucking. There's House of Cards. People get mad at me because I haven't seen it.

53:56 Like the Sunday night. who actually believes that she had Kurt Cobain killed. specialist, which is just not the way you do it. And he said there's enough evidence That other documentary with all the doodles moving around, did you see that one? Oh, really? He's just, you know, in another planet. not like the famous George the Greek, the racist guy. And the guy's name was Water Dog.

56:33 later to him. and his hands would just sit there, There's a photo of him. It was table one at Executive Billiards. He was good for hours. Where were you doing shooting pool in White Plains? Really? The people that I hung out with were so fun. Right. He would have a ball sitting in front of the hole. It was crazy. Right. And people from all over the world would come to find him to play with him.

59:52 So good enough to play, but the big games he was full. guy azeriti who owned it was the nicest guy on the planet and everybody loved him so they would come Right. And I was 24 Just in the city? Right. Oh, he was great. with him and um i did um with otto and george we did a bunch of those out there and then uh i did And it's gotten so much worse from back then.

1:03:27 I mean, back then when I first moved there, I lived with my grandfather in North 9th Street And then it became Puerto Rican. No. He stayed there to the end. Bill. That is what they Right. but it was a special place man too long every night there was something A guy came in from – they would come in from all over the place. These were like real professional level players would go there.

1:06:32 Myself. There's a giant advantage. But with Poole, it's not like that because there's no physical strength aspect of it. Or they switch hands. So it's just more dedication and time and play and play and play. Regular people see me play, they're like, holy shit, he can play. Is that what it is? That's a weird game. They have three cushion billiards places.

1:08:28 They'd be so happy to find a table like that. Chess is an amazing one. Battleship made a run at it. That's exactly right. tell people you're involved in a chess tournament you're like wow he's a dedicated intellectual And they would only use it like a couple days a month, and that paid it for everything. show me what you do. He goes, okay, well, I'm about to, I'll get a game right now. So I'll go

1:10:55 Oh, really? Oh, really? I'm so smart. It's like reading the box score to a baseball game. And then you, like, you play the game out day after day? But you want to bring your body into ketosis, where your body burns off fat. We'll have this guy on. They ate grains. He feels more even throughout the day. And then I talked to my brother, Danny Prokakos. You know,

1:14:26 No fucking grains. and then I ate two giant things of guacamole on top of that. I said steak bowl. I'm just eating boring shit. Yeah, it comes already tossed. A lot. You ever, you know, Wood Ranch? It's a salad that's covered in syrup. Nine days. But I did some things in the past that made me lose Right. And it's in everything. It has gluten, though.

1:17:50 Culture? The yeast is eating it. You take a little chunk of it, and then you feed it, and it expands. He's been doing it for a long time. You make a starter? I mean, there's measurements and stuff, but that's it. I went to buy a Dutch oven, which is like a pot that you can bake, that you put the bread in. Oh, I got my starter. You get the yeast off of the skin of grapes.

1:21:11 He said his starter came from Jackson Hole, Wyoming. creating bread that way. I don't know. feed it a little and put it in the fridge so what's the process so if you took four ounces And it just makes it into dough. I mean, then you're getting a job at Willem Sonoma. wooden caps that they would put on we could chew on that instead of chewing with whatever

1:24:36 Right out of the oven when it's hot. have you been making some life choices It's fucking breaking you down. I wish someone had asked me, where does yeast come from? Wow. Oh, it was fucking flying off the shelves. sourdough bread using yeast from her vagina just ate the bread it's her own pussy though That's how life is built. rains, nothing was draining off the

1:27:18 It's massive. It looked like the guy was pulling a gopher out of my toilet. Oh. What is that? It looks like some kind of a weasel or something. It's not good. at dinner told my wife and kids about it and then for christmas my daughter started a starter. She went off and YouTubed and figured out how to do it. The pussy one's intriguing. Pretty safe to grow your own weed.

1:29:51 They found you with a giant plant. It was great. That's a good idea until your kids find it. It was natural for a while, but now he's got to keep Really? Yeah. Like you can go into a room full of plants and you're like, oh, this is feels like there's things in here. Like it doesn't seem like a room full of plants. Yeah. It's like, it really seems insane that you don't own a dispensary.

1:31:51 are making so much money. I want in. You're dealing with a lot of people that know that this is essentially like a bank they can rob. something along those lines. Like Ted Cruz actually becomes the president Not only do I not think that people are willing to vote for Hillary Clinton. Not only do I not think that people are willing to vote for her, I think that, I don't even think,

1:33:22 No, Bernie Sanders is interesting. and the shit that he says about Mexicans is deplorable, He's so dumb. that will kind of grin and bear voting for Hillary. She's pretty tough, though. Whatever the fuck she was. I's not a real queen. Like, how do you feel about the olive garden yeah that's italian restaurant for the whole family says hillary bernie only when i'm high

1:36:36 And people are like, oh, he's bullshit. that would be the number one hot topic for debate, right? industrial complex they want to just those guys spend a lot of money on those politicians No. here this prescription thugs apparently it's very good and there's some insane fucking stats Let's put them as 17 to 25 when they're out on their own doing their thing.

1:39:16 Someone can give them some shit that they think is going to whack them out so they can even have your kids like go to a party you can't eat drink you can't have a sour patch kid you That is a creepy, sociopathic, psychopathic type of person. Just without them knowing. Weird. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. That Fuck You song I don't know what the deal is

1:41:16 as it's over it's not about that it's about getting back at women i think is it yeah i think You know? I was lucky enough No. in their fable. You know what I mean? Well, there's always going to be people that got fucked over by somebody and if you were involved in a horrific and he lives for 500 years and she lives for 500 years, he's going to have to pay her for some shit that he doesn't even remember anymore.

1:43:43 Really? Oh, God. That's crazy. It'll be millions and millions of dollars by the time she's dead. So he has to pay her forever. school while he was working on his engineering degree or something like that and then he went That is crazy town. Dave, um... Coulier? No. to like a studio apartment and didn't make that much money anymore. Well, I've got another one. Dave –

1:45:53 Why did I draw a blank on Dave? Right. You're able to. He won the lottery, basically. For five years, he won the lottery. How many sitcoms are there now? Holy cow. And he's another one. And he is the nicest guy. What is that? I love her. If you were making all the money, you'd say it, too. Well, it's really a business. You're experiencing pleasure from someone else.

1:49:50 Yeah, cuz we have one too many employees. It's very complicated. Well this try and keep that on the rails I think where you got married is big. She's in her 30s. They were married the entire time she thought they were married. Here's my paperwork. Yeah, I think so, in the States. here's the guy husband secretly divorced wife after wedding to protect his assets and look at

1:52:00 That is hilarious. Wow. And she was more than 30 years his senior. What did you do to get that apartment? And she wants some of that money that he made while she was living in the same place as You can meet the right people, man. And they enjoy themselves. you have to find a style she's like you're saying that it's not going to work he's like no because

1:54:34 Right. financially and he has a whole story that he can hold up in front of her like Can't he get a private investigator or something? This is not that. Oh, it hurts. that's because we're not talking about substantive Because we're not talking about subsistence. She's intelligent. She's articulate. She has a job. She's a human being. She's a person. Yeah, she's intelligent.

1:57:16 Right. unless you're with these people you don't know these stories right unless you know someone that's Unless you work with them, what do you care? He hasn't had sex with her in decades. A really fucked up house like when I was little my parents split up and I was young there was violence And apparently he had done it before and he terrorized her and she was like, fuck this.

1:59:48 get out it was like he was like it's not that simple he's like you don't give it out as long as possible to make the most money Well, you know Carla Bow? Right. He doesn't have a car. He does headlines. Why does that not matter? There's absolutely that. That should be a documentary. Yeah. California. And if I found Wow. impression of kinnison and he went up with the lab factory yeah i think so and no one these kids

2:04:15 We're old, dude. 47. we've lived, Some people are, We do this podcast called The Fight Companion. But then I'm like, well, how many people do I know that are 50 that are taking care of themselves? Being able to do any of that. to see like a 70-year-old woman in there like standing on her head and doing a, you know, backward backbend. And a lot of it is just people neglecting their body.

2:06:25 You've got to go to the gym. back pains that I used to have and hip pains and weird shit. years. No. Not that often anymore. If you don't have anything to do during the day. Four. You're good. Take a 9am You'll feel like your vertebrae stretching and the tissue in your neck loosening. I'm going to try it. Oh. And so I've gone to this great guy Deep tissue.

2:09:41 I fucked my neck up doing that. You do? Before, I hurt my neck. Always. have to kind of like reset it he'll reset me and then it's like all right just don't lift your arm there's a larger one you put it on the ground It's painful, but if you can bite your teeth and get through it, it'll make a significant And I had no idea the concept that all the tissue and tendons are just tightening.

2:12:15 Right. Ooh, that's not good. Right. He's like a chiropractor. Yeah, I think they're mostly bullshit. something really fucked up, yeah, maybe. Maybe if something's really out of whack and they can real serious if you're gone you ever had rolfing done rolfing is like a very painful method of Oh, really? Yes. It's like you have to do cardio. all guys that are like you know late 30s to mid 60s every guy walking around there was like guys

2:15:53 A bone. It's like, you can't end up like that. That guy works 12 hours a day. I know. He's got to pay for his fucking divorce. his lunch break and stuff like that but the reality is he's working yeah you know i know i'll get you one i've been so out of it come on it's not hard i know just bring you to Like some people pot. Like I want to like go watch documentaries on space and write shit down. especially. Right. It makes me really ramped up. I want to go watch documentaries on space and write shit down.

2:18:01 And what's the other kind? They're both, but it's not, it's more of a sedative. You know, if you're really too high, the best thing you can do is drink something with caffeine in it. the caffeine will have Yeah. I figured Neil Young would know. You come back, you come back, Oh, my God. carry him around in a case? Yeah, like a fucking gentleman. You're like a Superman.

2:20:28 This stuff's good for you. What about your kids seeing you smoking online? It's 24 months to come up with an excuse. Marijuana's not bad for you. True. You could drink yourself to death off a wine. Yeah. If you do it right and stay in the right places. middle of the ocean yeah and this little island and all these other human beings some whatever and then you dive in the water

2:23:17 got fucking murked by a shark just swimming snorkeling well we've been there three times That's scary. less food? Those tourist helicopters flipping around. fuck with me after I smoked a lot. Well, you ruined oh, it's fine to go outside with If there's six deaths, how many attacks were there? Jesus Christ. Does it say that? a nice full moon we'll go out we'll hear the twig snap we'll know the werewolf is not stealthy they

2:25:55 Man, fishing in Hawaii is amazing. Like, hey, this guy will take you out for this kind of fish. And the chef prepared it three different ways he better when it's fresh By the way, queer you is not homophobic at all. Yeah, because the mold grows on the outside of the meat Have you ever gone to Africa? No. there's these luxury resorts lions and shit do you know about the woman who was the editor, film editor, video editor from Game of Thrones?

2:29:01 There was nothing they could do about it. You'll just see this planet differently once you go to Africa. You're adventurous. And they're doing it for tourist money. a zoo no no no no feeding not at all and they're still migrating and there's still all that stuff they believe chimps have just started to enter the stone age for the development of chimpanzee

2:31:48 They might be like some crazy Sasquatch type thing. Just gelatinous. Its testicle is literally about 70% to 80% of the size of its brain. Yeah, what? and the other hand looks bigger and blacker it's a different guy it's a different guy You're not? Nah, I'm thinking about going to Paris this year, and I'm not going to Paris. You're not? They might have let some bad people in their country.

2:34:07 I think, you know, you're dealing with like, it's a very tricky place right now. Any update on the war? It's when you have a group of people and the people that wound up performing that terrorist act wound up dying. no no no no no i don't think so that's a brutal flight too man for a gig it is i i would way Oh, yeah. And I can't. Sometimes a little bit of activity and sightseeing can amp you up, you know, but you have to

2:36:39 and just go just go or a routine whatever i'm doing whatever weight lifting routine i just I've definitely done that before. I'll put a podcast on. but for me yeah I have notebook and taking your notes and going over last night going over the you know what i uh did for Get it out of your pocket! Yeah. Callan did his comedy special there. That was a good spot.

2:39:58 Like, Thousand Oaks, things lighten up considerably. Yeah. But I was just thinking now, I wonder if you could drive in the ocean. through the river in the fucking Amazon. Probably not. Burbank is an equestrian neighborhood. You can't do that. This guy's an idiot. and he doesn't have a car with a snorkel, Look at this crazy clusterfuck of cops and the car.

2:42:25 But why not just get a horse? Yeah horse and go run your errands that way? They're not supposed to be that big. So these monsters are like the chickens with giant breasts. No. Those poor things. If you can teach an eagle to hunt for wolves for you, have you ever seen them do that? They're not big enough. And falcons and all that kind of stuff with the hoods, and very intricate about that whole practice.

2:44:26 Like in the beginning, like for days. Like an eagle. Look, they're both jacking him. dinosaurs actually looked like like we always always assume that all dinosaurs were covered He's just got full mount on It's insane that they can do this. He's giving him a reward? like a pterodactyl size eagle gang of different kinds of birds and large predatory birds

2:47:30 Let's make that movie. That's such a great name. even just of mammals, is not complete. Look at the size of that fucking thing. Maybe. Look at that thing, the one in the forefront, Good for her. Wow. He's a nut. No. One of my chickens got jacked by a coyote. Chickens get broody, which means they get confused since they're not getting fucked by roosters.

2:50:22 What's the word? you fucking pothead you can't even Otherwise, they could be broody for like a month. Right. Yeah, it's probably not the worst way to go either. Uh-huh. Putting a pill on a stick and you get a fire in its throat. No. Hatchet? No. Cats die. they starve their animals yesterday on the internet how old it really is What is that? No. See, like that.

2:54:26 It might not even be about that. That's crazy. Yeah? That's it for the week. What?