Joe Rogan Experience #7772 — Podcast from a Car Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Hey, everybody. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com. That's O-N-N-I-T. We have a werewolf. based on science, and that science is all provided in the research tab. It's a company that I believe in 100% wholeheartedly. It is one of Mike Judge's shows. If you don't know who Mike Judge is, dude, get your fucking shit together. And what else did he do?

3:35 If you're listening to this right now, And I'll explain that in a moment. Really, really hilarious. Silicon while vanity fair said the show in quotes feels both of the moment and a long time coming god i It's a great fucking show. peanut butter nom-noms. God damn, I've been You're not going to feel that way with NatureBox. Dark cocoa almonds. Oh, sweet blueberry almonds.

8:34 This podcast is the reason why I'm doing this for my iPhone. Yeah, I think. In the neighborhood. We were trapped in this goddamn rainforest for five days. sleeping in wet tents, wet sleeping bags, wet clothes. And I said, fuck, man, let's do a podcast. with my good buddy brian callan I want to clip a pig, man. I have my Upland bird validation. This is all we're actually driving.

12:16 and I'm like, what are you apologizing? I'm playing a Jordanian smuggler, ladies and gentlemen. There's my microphone holder. I saw the first one. Yeah, we were talking about people that are... I don't know if he tweets from like if he texts it in and then doesn't read Twitter because he never responds. responds to them, never He's a doctor. Yes, Argentina.

15:03 Salsa. my garden cells clean of nutritionists bro yeah you don't want to know you gotta sweat you gotta sweat those toxins out what do you mean For example, Pol Pot said anybody who wore glasses was an intellectual. And let's take their kids and re-educate them and make a perfect society. detoxifying, doing a cleanse. It's not all it says in that Bible.

17:31 Don't eat anything like, and like, oh, greatest magic trick ever, between what you'd call somebody You have to believe that he did rise based on their say-so. and all those things that Christianity comes with, a lot of people were, lepers were healed. I mean, he came back from the dead, and then that's it. It's part of the Trinity. suffered as a man, was tempted,

20:26 regardless of how much I was tortured. and then he was risen. So he came down really short-sighted stories They have kids. You know what I mean? really rich, because I've realized we might not be going the best possible way. Oh, shit. Right? Or do you need a charger? If you drop below 80%, you start panicking. We'll be there at 2 o'clock. I don't know either.

24:07 Cellular. That's pretty deep shit, man. him, what side do you keep your cell phone on? Openly advocating It's smart. Where you at? I say, where you at all the time, dork? You are definitely not racist. one prejudiced thing come out of your mouth. There's plenty of dumb everybody. human beings, in general, I think people are limited by economics variables like there's always going to be people whose brains are just shitty they just have nine

27:31 white things on the ground? physical health issues. Yeah. It's a very black cow. You look at them, on this island, and they're, like, manes in the air. Cows never run. They're different from the cows that we're used to. And they're, like, prized as, like, trophies. Just try biting into bull meat sometime sometimes don't like it unless I cook it perfect.

30:10 it quickly because you don't want to dry all the fat out of it. Do you grill it or do you Hundreds of pounds. We're going to, I think the plan was, I hope the plan still is this way, chef, is going to give us some tips on how to prepare it, maybe prepare things for us. but when I eat it, it gives me energy off to at least 20 times. I'm waiting. I could attach a handle to it,

32:53 Guaranteed. When we come back to stateside, we'll do a video of me eating moose heart. But you were acting One thing I found I don't know how, when you shoot a moose, you've got to pack all that meat out. When we left to go get his moose And then when we saw mine, Stop the truck. Dead bull. And how did it take you to butcher that? You butchered it right in the field.

35:27 Yeah. Yes. Obviously, we didn't weigh it. Bang! It was because he's got like a little clip at the bottom of it. So anyway, he shoots his And the outfitter Right in the middle of the road. But now, what do you, was in the pickup truck. who's the outfitter, We leave, and an hour and a half later, He actually has llamas. and he fucked his back up really bad.

39:21 the hill. and by the time we got back to the cabin, it was long after midnight. hunting wild boar or are they feral pigs? a psychoactive drug, but as a commodity, meaning hemp. Because hemp paper, they came up with It's so strong. and Popular Science Magazine had this cover, Yes. Wow. What would you say? Okay. Well, a Chinese guy and an African guy.

43:15 is that if you take a regular They start growing thick, dense hair. Their tusks start growing. Their snouts elongate. They're black. are the descendants I think the Spanish And they breed quickly. We saw a lot of them too. We probably saw Have you seen any of that footage? It's wild, man. And it's not forest at all. They're having a hard time in San Jose proper,

46:26 which nobody thought was possible in the 70s. When we look at life in the known universe, we, you know, contemplate the possibility of life on this planet alone. When we look at life in the known universe, we contemplate the possibility of life on other planets. that we know exist right here on Earth. They're going to kill it. it's got it on life support then you know these these little these river dolphins that are basically i think there are like three left or something try try doing

48:04 where you can But good luck. spent some time with air quality but it also had a great deal to do with the fact of how they cooked their food outside. they don't have working chimneys. When I lived in Colorado, we had a real fireplace, When you have wool, it gets wet. It's going to keep I am too. as a sponsor and I borrowed yeah alright now I'll be peeled but um his brother had these me undies No. You will see them, though, if you keep your eye out on here. Really? Yeah.

50:38 He wore it for two years? But they were well-worn. Sure To the point where Yep Seven years as a Well I got one of Nothing like the thing is the worst way Something about when we bought the house, the lady who lived in it before was European, They take things that are pretty good. And it's warm. shitting in water. they were like, is we had people donate money on Bitcoin.

54:18 to whatever anybody uh puts in i'll match uh and you know hopefully we'll build a bunch more wells His father said, here's a billion dollars, go change the world. Property rights are huge. And so they would dig these wells, which is what, what is this thing called again? socially and what was happening was that readjust and it They smoke copious amounts of weed.

57:05 Like, they'll die. They're pretty healthy, but they'll they'll die of like infections and shit they don't have to die They do all that stuff. Yeah, which I was like, wait a minute. podcast on the origins of AIDS. And then in cutting the monkey, like butchering a monkey, that pretty soon it's going to be a disease that just doesn't manifest itself as a life-threatening illness.

59:16 It's pretty wild. The 30s. Yeah. If there were buzzards, they'd be circling over something dead, right? cocksucker big. I love owls. It's huge. And as I was pulling down the street, my car was loud. motherfucker might have a gun i gotta let this to let this rabbit go. Nature is just cruel to its... they'll kill some this older male out, They're vicious, man.

1:02:08 and dies slowly. its wounds until Hyenas are They're hermaphrodites. You have a faux penis? and fuck them with it. Really? mammals, maybe the only one, where the babies What a brutal fucking world they live in. It's just evolved. I mean, Constantinople. killed all the men, and sold all the women and children into slavery. I've decided that and now this would be.

1:04:58 their long boats into the seine into paris into the heart of paris and i think the average parisian I went to Sweden. Yeah. I think we have these distorted notions about the size of people in the past. the big white guys come out of Minnesota just the big man with those huge hands. Yeah, well Doug Duren. Doug Duren There's not enough time to do everything you want.

1:06:56 work on my tennis stroke Floyd Mayweather is not the most exciting boxer to watch, He's ridiculously fast. were such good boxers. from Bulgaria But apparently he thinks that beating Mayweather, or something crazy what you want well certainly He wasn't a knockout puncher. And they were telling him that the only way he could beat this tie was if he had knocked him out.

1:10:19 I mean, Roy Jones Jr. in his prime as an amateur boxer was just ridiculously fast. know, I was watching the Cubans practice again on YouTube. I'm watching the national Cuban champion practice with mitts. If you look at the way Mayweather fights, he very rarely throws a right hand. And it's because of that very same aggressive attacking style. Marquez is a hell of a fighter.

1:12:13 not trading with him stupidly, it wasn't mindlessly. He is out of his mind. goes nuts on Jason. you know, he's got a lot of power. And he knocked him out. I said, why do you do that? though. He's a good dude. Despite all that shit, he's a good dude. And that's his therapy. Jamie Varner, who just retired recently from the UFC, And Jamie's only 33, I think.

1:14:48 It's one of the things he's saying, cut himself short, cut his career short. It's a long time. pro fights. And he 55,000 shots to the head Well, George St. Pierre You just think about that No, thank you From guys like Tiago Alves over 800 times now. Yeah, 855 times or something crazy. Something crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Monsters. Yeah. Oh, okay. If you had to,

1:16:40 And then wait. You just use your mind. Then I'll suture it. yeah and they and they took the cartilage, I hope so. Yeah, I hope so too. a doctor? You're fucking crazy. Anything you can imagine Athletic, though. I have such a fantasy of living in Napa, they will be bite trained. Only trained to bite men. Very've got shuts on. Are you kidding? There will be, there will be, I was about to say, there will be bite trained.

1:19:13 Yes. I'll be overcome. Okay. Boring. Okay. No, come on, man. I'll take this exit. You know what I mean? His fucking cat. When I piss, I like to have a voice gotta pull it out of the holster. He's got a Joe in mind, you know what I mean? You're Joe Rogan, you're not gonna get arrested. out into the fields and pretend you lost your keys. I'm pulling my dick out on an empty road.

1:21:23 Does your dick do that when you have to pee? Well, I got to pee bad. It goes into combat mode. But wait a turtle. It's pulling itself into my body. Why? Does your dick do that when you have to pee? Can't even see my balls right now. Hopefully. Yeah, to keep you from getting... Can you do that? around my fucking piece. Poor thing looks purple. finished. Have you ever heard of someone elongating

1:23:13 Jesus. There it is. hydrated. No, That's it. I'm amazing. Fuck Wild turkeys. Ha! I would have let them catch me. I would have beat the fuck out of them. Fucking cunt turkey. We have it on video. It's a fucking ostrich. What happened? But then I would have taken his back. They'll kick the shit out of you. That's my strong side. Because you're a legit black man.

1:26:57 And people reading this that are into jiu-jitsu, And there's two things you important thing. It's probably the most important thing is technique. But it doesn't mean that You know what I'm saying? Do you think that Clay Guida could stop Shane Carwin from taking him down? if I gave you five exercises your legs, it works your Squat's a big one. That's important, right?

1:30:27 I like big compound movements, man. legs, clean them, press them overhead, and then drop down to a squat, and then all the I like doing Turkish get-ups. You extend your arm up and then you get up. There's a really good workout that I do with 35 fucking pounds. he does it on the beach, This badass motherfucker's from Russia. became, one of the shot putters became

1:33:42 I just fuck it. I'm a man now. Yeah. They're going to manipulate genetics. They're going to be able to literally change, like, the design of the body. that's true well it would have to be how are you gonna competition when you have linemen that are and his son wants to play football. while you're 11, man. Something Henry. of the truck. of an 80-year-old

1:36:23 And they're saying, like, That's what this is. their brain's cooked from all the years of playing football, is really being done, it does sour If that's the case, then that's a handicap. Right. Yes, you're going to jail. Well, it's like Hannibal Lecter in those movies, The Silence of the Lambs. Yeah. humane thing to do? Is it humane to kill No, you're dead, right?

1:40:19 You have, Now he's a normal guy. and what do you do? locked in a fucking cage He's an adolescent. makes them more cautious. Well, isn't it interesting that those are the ages that they want to recruit people for war? that I don't think, I think of 15 and 23 or something crazy. were in a special school and then you went to the army so boys were put in a very regimented place

1:43:36 Wild boars everywhere, ladies and gentlemen. and so few people are going kind of fucking us up and what's putting us in this position where we are over fucking. understanding, continuing to research It's like this Religious Freedoms Act that went through Indiana, in its purest form and i just feel like what they're doing these people that are freaking

1:46:59 their feelings are valid their feelings are valid. And the problem with an atheist and a The church is a good memory. Whatever it might be. you hear these debates, going to protect that feeling that's given them so much comfort and so much inspiration Gun control is a classic example. their closet, including me, is because we want to feel like we can protect the people we love

1:49:28 of gun control advocates would start I'm living this way. who just want to halt progress. You know, it was like, I love my God. You want to change? Sure. it's a form of bigotry it's a form of bigotry but it's also you got to realize that the people that Wow. mythology is wrapped around the idea that you Spendables. It's also cathartic. For some people, it inspires them.

1:53:57 Because if you look at the statistics, it's like you would say, well, hey, man, if people have guns, you know, all guns good luck in this country well i don you know how you physically do that there's not a No, it's just, you can do it more analogy but there's some validity to it you shouldn't be allowed to have a gun if you have a gun, I'm going to fucking lock you up in jail.

1:56:02 The other person goes, hey man, I want to be around you when you're drunk. who is governing, who governs, who is governing rights? but it doesn't mean I can get into a And Maya Angelou said, yes, it's true. That's always been the debate. Yeah, I do. Hey, guys. fucking cow town and eating spend all day looking for snails ghost town In-N-Out burger. Thank you, everybody, for tuning into the podcast.

1:59:48 God damn it. That's naturebox.com forward slash Rogan.