Joe Rogan Experience #779 — Andrew Dice Clay & Joey Diaz Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Brownies are 180 for two brownies, so they're 90 a piece. It's the bag? This is 200 to go. Dice, I don't know if you know, but an effective dose is 20. I can open up with 600 milligrams. And I wake up at 3 in the morning with my heart pounding. So I'm all stoned out, and I just want something to eat, so I open up the popcorn, okay? They make it with the butter.

2:21 Froot Loops. Pure fucking weed. Yeah, but I have no reason to be in Texas. I haven't gone to any of them. That's never happened anywhere. It's gone. bang more on the weed. It's affecting him already. Have you ever seen his Periscope show? He's going, what are you guys doing? And he goes, they're spending millions of dollars Why would you take that off the air?

5:32 know because number one he he's he built the whole career again but you can't tell someone to not do I looked like an asshole. But I'm going, it's wheels. periscopical thing. Why would you ever Yeah, it was funny. Everybody was in it. Everybody one night and you go, Dice, can I ask you something? You can't be in. You know how I've become friends with Mike fucking Black?

8:41 So people are like, well, what is it? And he goes, wait a minute. He goes, what do you mean it's what I do? I'm going to get hurt. Just so I could do a line from Bronx Tale where I'm on top of him now, and I go, all right, look that way, Because I did it for two years. she said that when I'm so fucking nice to her. And Eleanor was a pro wrestler. And everybody's going, and Steve Simone's going, yeah, the way Eleanor all her life.

12:06 And he comes over to me at the store like, what are you doing exactly? And you still have the footage? And everybody's cheering to kill Bobby. Are you going to attack him? She bans my children. It'll all be straightened out. Oh, with Fucko. calm he is now. Here's the problem. and the same thing and it was like guys that were there for 10 years already and nothing happened yes there was a few of those guys i'll tell you a great uh coco story over here so we just became

15:01 because I wouldn't want to really see anybody get hurt. He's just a fucking customer. i don't even want to say what you were doing it was nuts but you were like trying to get to this Somebody who's real mean to somebody before me. There's some people that are drunk, and they're The people that, oh my God. I go, you got to leave this room now. It's just

17:42 Just yelling shit out at him. Just yelling. And it just got to this point where people were like, stop this. Don't give the bit away. Stole the original puppet. Are you fucking kidding me with this over here now? It wasn't Burgess Meredith. Yes, he did. The purse is just right over there. Are we filming this today? This is the greatest show. I love it.

20:51 For sure. and I'd always see him at the comedy store. I come over over to Joe. He has a hit fucking sitcom on the air. A hundred percent. He goes, no, I'm writing material. I'm on the phone with him. This is like the first 15 years for this. that. So if they happen to take No, now he is. if you don't do it well it meant a lot to me because when i was a kid way before i got into

23:36 you know, the people that don't realize like sort of the course which was an honor, you know, to play. Well, it all became a thing. It's starting again. you know number one working with you know guys like woody and scorsese was unreal and yeah those And the way I perform now is, I'm married 32 years, I'll actually fall down onto a chair and just look at him like,

26:56 I did this for you. You were busy with the kids. You were busy with your new business. Yeah And he goes You know? Did your best friend ever call you Because he's really not your friend. So don't tell me he's your best friend. Like the guy's going, well, why would you do that material? That's my whole thing. No, I'm fine. He's fine. But make sense to me. He's in a coma. No, I'm fine.

30:00 a hundred people get shot. It's constant, Exactly. Especially the way you're saying it. and Anthony Cumia I had a fucking blast Because you're saying shit that's so – What am I going to tell you? And sometimes it is. You you know like some guys are I love that he got to work with him. Yeah, Joey got when I saw him in grudge match was famous. Charlie, they took

33:18 Do me a favor, don't cook. I pull in there and the parking lot's 20 old people is on your face. Your box is too good to be true. Oh, no, 100%. don't exaggerate it you don't have to just be you you know because it's so many people you know but what i love is that that What you were doing was just a really extreme version of stand-up comedy i mean came out of the closet,

36:46 here, now, you know, like, I go, you meet the girl of your dreams, right? Right. about so I like to paint these bigger than life cartoon pictures of people having sex that they you know, when you're blowing it out from the bottom of your nut bag, All good. She looks at you. How's that feel? Are you having more fun now than you've had before? And you were one of the only guys.

40:51 Wasn't he mad at you? She was coming to my show. I go, no, no, no, no, no. the hats that Frank or you could be a tidal wave. So I come out and I just go into my act. That was crushing. there were three now. So it's doing 60,000 people for the weekend rather than 20. You know, it was just insanity for many years. you really were a bad guy, So he got to meet Max.

45:04 They're rock stars on stage, they are who they are. They're rock stars on stage. they know they could come to me with anything of course like that there was a they just recorded So he does the words and it's all sex. It's all you know about. I go, I'm sorry i ever took that name on Don't get real mad. And these legit acting gigs, they're saying, Robin Williams took a long time off.

48:10 It's like what everybody's really going for. with Jerry Lewis and to Travolta, was the movie Diner, you know, that Barry Levinson directed. And he saw me at that. But now I was on Crime Story was the greatest show. What's in your mouth, Joey? That was Tony Dennison. with Clarice whatever the fuck is I got it five months later what happened You don't have to show up for a fucking audition.

51:11 Crime story, five seasons, you know, and this is what the pay is. Who does that shit? Okay? What can I do in the conference room on New Year's Eve? I fucking put the air on. And at that moment, I knew I got to do this. I'm like, she's a fucking dirty fucking cunt. You have no fucking idea the voice is. You say it smells like fucking grass. the guy that's living in my head. This was

54:24 he goes, I'm here because of you. That's why I'm Joey and he goes, you know, the back steps, like, he goes, all bullshit aside, No, I'm not saying you should go see Yeah, 100%. He brought 20 people to the show. And Rodney wasn't until 88. How many seats has that placed the Laugh Factor in Vegas? I don't care, but I'd rather work three nights for the same money in the small room than get more money in the big room.

56:55 And that's thrilling for me because I feel the reason they're doing really What kind of gambling? i still had to do the gambling and i ended the gambling with getting all the money for them to record their album. it's handled you know and then I stopped. Just done. Yeah. him out I help everybody out that needed the help when we needed it and now we're doing good so I

59:55 the only way to win is you've got to be willing to lose and by five in the afternoon I won it all back plus another 55,000 oh my there was plays like Joey, did you just throw another one down? Mazel tov. I'm in Brea. I will come here anytime. You're the best. Oh.