Joe Rogan Experience #784 — Brian Redban Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Yes! Before we even get started, I gotta give a shout out to this dude Aaron. Where is it? Where's the, not that, but he gave us that, but the other thing, the white snake. in my car, and she said, throw that Well, it was a cassette, rather. we broke up and then i had three more fights after i dated her so uh like kickboxing fights like you see the friends that are that always fight every week and they're always breaking up

2:35 There was an incident at a comedy club was censoring people at an open mic night. And, um,hanie who's by the way awesome never anything but awesome like an authoritative perspective you know it was weird it was a weird relationship in that respect What kind of music I should like how I should dress it's real weird man, but again, she wasn't a bad person

4:57 Like, oh, yeah, she does this. Oh yeah. When you're posturing and you're pretending to be someone other than you are, you're giving yourself some sort of weird comfort or trying to. He's going to fuck my wife? You know they get they bitch at each other but if you get two girls involved in a street fight, pulling hair and club i would venture the vast majority of women out there have never been in a

8:14 biologically why women mature in general faster than men it might just be this the lack of the struggle with that male ego. Yeah. Brian? so I will stop this conversation right here. They just do. You're going to have to call Ari. Not even like a father, but like the daddy that's giving the dick. Yeah. Are you late for school? The guy just wakes up, has his coffee, and fucks his daughter.

10:31 But, you know, No. Boner pills? They're very sketchy. question how much you think it would cost us to randomly test the gas station pills that you take I think they use, the Nevada State Athletic That's what the FDA has done, though. You can tell they change their ingredients sometimes. Some of them are powder. It's swollen. I think this is some kind of reaction because it's like my dick is swollen up.

13:59 about this because it's hilarious but you know what it's so weird that i do it though and it's snake venom dick and Isn't that funny? Like a lot of them have had small amounts of steroids in it. I don't know if I can go on stage. So that's when I kind of stopped my fun hobby. Shadow governments in the Philippines. It does, but you can tell it's not what it is.

16:07 Do you know anybody else that takes those things? We feel like we're going to have a heart attack. Who the fuck do you know that's taking them? Maybe this is the weed of boner pills. i don't know new vigils a little different, yeah. I don't know. New Vigil's a little different. Or maybe one version of it. You're not going to be able to probably pick that up.

17:50 This is just for the pill. Was there a platinum 4,000? These are two companies, too, but that both use rhinos. It doesn't even make any sense. Rhino horns don't look cool. Asparagus there's asparagus in here Yeah. Aubrey was telling us what happens. Is that what it's called? But if that was, there's only two pills. a boner kind of but this is like no you got bit by a snake boner for for a while yeah i i don't i

21:37 That stuff. it says serious side effects when using prescription complaints about the supplement. caps, for like three days on this stuff, which is almost kind of annoying. That's what I'm interested in. I seek out, like, I literally, like, am 100% more hornier when I'm on these, though. I don't get the headaches. I don't want anything to do with them anymore.

24:03 Dr. rhino's horn. Like it looks like a dick on the horn. For those horns He's probably like He doesn't know shit Armed gang. They're doing this to elephants. The rhinos on these boner pills all have their horns though. So that's good. Maybe it does. When they didn't have any data, no internet, no encyclopedias, Most man people would still take it. They would go dude is a pink one is one they try to save psych

27:40 Okay. I thought Or what can they be used for Dude, if it helped you with erectile dysfunction and cancer. Tiger penis is not as good. Is it possible in this day and age, 21st century, Rhinos. were actually quite progressive, scarfing up rhino horn in asia versus the number of people here that are chewing on bath salts he's a guy in a forum. of fucking dollars unless there is a little bit of rhino horn in all these imagine i mean they're

30:57 I bet they never tested shit. I would have to ask Aubrey. They just dump it in there, shake that bag, talk, fart, get on the radio, Yeah, this is definitely like Van Nuys. these that come into the gas stations like what those guys like the salesmen the boner pills I'm finding some stuff that uses it for all sorts of things, Yeah. They killed 668 rhinos in 2012.

33:22 Yeah, there's a 60-pound, 60 pounds got caught being smuggled was worth a million bucks. How do you say that name? Wow. of rhino horn he received as a gift whoa boy pours water into a specially made bowl with a rough bottom and grinds the block of horn into a milky white liquid the grinding creates an odor Very illegal rhino horn. We have three of them.

35:49 Cohibas. Was it Chris Ryan? we're here smoking it's gonna get how like we are already It's broke apart. Half cigar. Don't chew on it, dude. Want to turn that air conditioning thing on behind you? I did a few times. I never got into smoking cigars because I wanted to inhale it so much. It's definitely got some, like, I've smoked cigars before Yeah. Yeah.

39:26 So I've done, before shows, I've sucked on those blue cigarettes. It's something to... Like, I'm not going to get addicted to cigarettes. And I'm like, wow, I like it. Not Nate Smoke one like Maybe I should just smoke a cigar before Not like men from the 60s and 70s. the bosomy red-headed girl, she's so hot. I wanted to do. The only reason why I didn't want to watch that show is because that redheaded girl, the buzz me redheaded girl, she's so hot.

41:57 I never really do spliffs. shows with Charlie. Charlie A lot of girls like the blunts usually. Super common. I think that's more of an age thing. Do they say y'all a lot and get mad throw their hands around like That's him. In fact, you know, on one occasion it saved my life. jumped into the Norwegian fjord No. True. There was a lot of really crazy people when I was a kid

45:57 The ninja slippers are from Japan. Well, the front of the plane. 1959, I think. Yeah. and he used to have like huge ones the Buchenburst disaster Flying boat. Although it does say I'm 5'9", and Brian Cowan's my brother. I'm going to be dead someday. but like if he stretched his face out and he stretched his shoulders out it's it's very I like that I'd be like, strap yourself in, sister, because your brother's a fucking gangster.

49:24 I'd have all the gauze, like with the blood oozing through all the stitches, which I would be fucking covered with. much less be able to squeeze it from behind, you want to. I mean, he's fucked up. What's his name? could kind of kill that. I think it would probably kill me. When they're predators, they start picking on people because they can't kill something big anymore. So that's one of the problems with certain animals. When they're predators, they start picking on people

51:39 I was rather calm, as a matter of fact, Doesn't say? Okay, he might be a dick. Probably 30, right? That's a hard drinking 35. You're out of your mind. You know how they try to kick and fucking twist and they get mad at you? You're never supposed to have an asshole with all these feathers all around it that can I'm looking through this article. and they were talking about how the buffalo were decimated

54:47 Look at those stacks of skulls. That says it's 40,000 buffalo hides right there. They talked about bear. in blankets that they put scabs and blankets and gave them tophilis in the form of scabs in blankets that they put They just got fucking completely wiped out by European diseases. They, which means a local extinction. because a buffalo's full clip is about 40 miles an hour.

58:42 So when they saw these millions of buffalo out on these prairies, that was an overabundance. remember that kid that wound up killing himself yeah there's a pdf you can get oh there's a pdf The Bahamas or some shit? that detailed the horrors of what they did to the Native American people that they found That's fucking crazy, man. Bison's, I was watching Buffalo, blah, blah, blah.

1:01:33 And he's looking at you not the one that we showed John Dudley my friend John who was on here yesterday, dude He shot an elk and these wolves started circling and they ran in and they were trying to scare It's got to take lots of hours of sitting and waiting and camping and being really cold. You've got to be a bold motherfucker to get that photo. maybe 50-100 yards

1:03:14 Oh, look at that. Look at those mountain lions he's got too. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is more of like a pop music, popular music Hall of Fame. How is that it? I don't know. Maybe he's got another page. No, is a rock and roll album. Or, I mean, I don't know. How is that it? It's just not refreshing. Damn, he's got great photos. Goddamn Instagram.

1:04:52 That might even be more badass. Fuck, that's amazing. Because, yeah, it was undeniably cool. The wife's on the right because it looks like she's bitching. Yeah, Chris, you're a fucking animal. It's crazy. grizzlies are going at it and one of them has Wolverine style razor He also talked about this cabin that they had in the woods where this bear broke into the cabin, pulled the wall apart,

1:07:46 We're like, we need to save those. Jurassic Island. But they also have a lot of stuff that is non-native that was brought in. Like all these hunting animals. but they don't have any mountain lions. They're having this problem right now with Cat Island, It probably smells like ammonia piss. They have radioactive wild pigs. That might be stock footage, though.

1:10:32 Yeah, they all look stock. They have a real problem if those things start turning into, like, they have by the way that that thing is still leaking thousands of gallons of radioactive Wow. it's funny because i know somebody or i met these these triplets the other day that grew up there. that this cum just rushes and no one egg wins. it's probably more for like,

1:12:39 That definitely happens. And so they filled themselves up with babies. him dating women and it was you know they would let hound the guy remember that yeah it was really Yeah. Was it God's plan to make abortion? They just like to fuck. Yeah. You know when you die, how you like shit yourself and all the piss and everything comes out? They don't eat and their apartments are squeaky clean.

1:15:26 if they fed them before they strung them up there. You go through the ligament behind the knee, and you like a stick through it and you can hang him from that. had hung up some insane, like 100 miles of bodies, they had a body that was crucified. Spartacus. I mean, I guess they're brutal today. his way into Europe, specifically It was in The Independent.

1:18:25 Yes. I think this is the video where they destroy snowmen. cutting off icicles. Now you do? All of them, yeah. of it, which is hilarious. Go full screen, please. I shouldn't say that. Look at the graphics, first of all. Alright. Should we, Brian, because Alienware used to sponsor us. What I want to do, though, Brian, as a guy on Twitch or you'll Everybody else, keep your fucking disgusting man boobs away from my screen.

1:21:46 Yeah. I like Alienware, man. because we used to use them. I used to run the Your trainer, didn't you? Did you give it to Justin? It's supposed to have the most tactile feeling keyboard. This guy did a review of it, and he said that the keyboard itself... I saved it. Hold on a second. Yeah, but I mean, have you tried the newest Windows? to be crazy.

1:23:42 There's a new cell phone that came out. That's their kind of pitch. Throw it in your laptop bag, and your laptop was running out of battery. What's really interesting is- You've had one before. You're exhausted. it's so worth it. It might snap right on. You can have an equivalent thing. where your hands are the only time i would ever use that though is in a hotel room and a hotel

1:26:41 It's great, man. before you go on, I guess? you just said right now Wait, where the fuck did you get C&C Music Factory so randomly? while someone's warming up instead of anything random. Fucking, I love Santa Barbara. You know how much land you could get out there also if you guys just went a little deep No! Bipolar Sunshine. Let's find it. Okay, for us?

1:29:26 How do you know what you've seen? And then there's like a little space, 2003. Shazammed. Yeah, what? You're going to have to go to it. Have you ever listened to Rusted Root? And they're on my playlist here. That's the thing that was, to take so much dick in your ass I deleted it. That's like my dick on the Tanner, because I didn't have any lotion So between that and the boner pills, what kind of birth defects do you think your children would have?

1:32:48 to this there was two things he was a very good I mean, it was, it was different. And I guess it's so creepy to me, right? I just, I'm just watching his life. Was it before everything got real ugly or was in the middle of it all? Well, I don't think so because that's 20 years ago. Okay. Whoa. I mean, what the fuck, man? Go down. Fling? Like 17? They've been together for 23 years.

1:37:36 It's fucked up, but it works. You know what I'm saying? He might have, like, raised her to want that dick. like, I don't know. Maybe something to it. He became her legal guardian. That's what it is. He didn't adopt her. She was pic. Ew. Yeah. He became her legal guardian. He became her legal guardian. All right, get rid of these photos. Almost all the time it's hard to consider the context of what's going on, right?

1:40:18 woody allen did it's creepy but is it? It just depends when it started. I'm going to stop right here. How do you even know that? There's some kids from, they're American, but they left Italy to follow him around all year. Did he? Obviously, there's more people there, but they love basketball there. But what's happening? He had a really good streak of like 10, ten games where he played extremely well,

1:42:17 I find out about athletes when they're in trouble or they do something crazy. other than the giant guy. which is a smaller market, Oh, okay. you would hear about his name here and there. I didn't get it. Not only that, I don't think it's faux. You know? You're over here using our language huh would you get your own fucking way to say an r so wait if it's it's pho yeah so then why do so many of the pho restaurants always use it as it's

1:44:12 I like how Joey Diaz always a hundred percent says gyros and I has to know Half the fun. It's called the Facebook camera. Well, how long before that flies around? It records like a 360 thing, We said, remember when people were going, how come everything isn't on 3D TV? None of that stuff's ready. What is that, dude? It used the same animators from Beyond the Mind's Eye, if you ever watched that.

1:47:04 After he's not doing those movies anymore, it becomes like my car guy like after he's not doing that those Oh, well, you're in this on a nice feel-good moment, Jamie. for sale for? but it's remixed Brian is tonight Excellent show. It seems silly. That's who you are, bro. See you. See you.