Joe Rogan Experience #787 — Eddie Huang Transcript

Transcript

0:00 Onyeee... Is that what it is? I did in Orlando. Just, you know, like your probation officer will show up at your crib or whatever. An assault charge. Justin Foreman, it really does. I do the frogs off their lily pads. Did you ever get one of those boats, those little bass boats with the flat bottoms and you can move around with a little trolling motor.

2:00 So we were cruising with the fucking the on board motor on my canoe. But because a canoe has two points. Actually, they're probably only used in freshwater. like i got one i got one i got one yeah and as it's coming up you see it in the water like oh It's kind of creepy because, like, I went salmon fishing, and this is really kind of brought home to me when I went salmon fishing.

4:27 And it was kind of ironic because the day we got there, the numbers were off the fucking charts. It was pretty rare you don't really get too many rainbows up there I felt alright about mine I would get them out of the lip but you're right sometimes if they swallowed the bait But freshwater fish, man, you don't, I mean. Yeah. Different places. the bottom of it and it was a mass fish die off. And they said there was some beautiful, huge,

7:15 i drop food i throw it out there man seagulls eat anything so uh how you liking west coast living You're like gritty. You do well in L.A., people just want to work for you. I like criticism, man. to be doing and so people will actually put you on to things and whatever. It's just entertainment. Yeah And I'll keep in touch with some of the people I talk to on YouTube.

9:43 They should take it away. I'm like, oh, what does this motherfucker look like yeah and I go because all I could see of your face is And be like, they're out there trying to come on my granddaughter's titties. It's all blocked up, but then they just use it to comment on people's pages and shit on them. No one's getting anywhere with this. Yeah. And, well, Twitter's pretty goddamn good, too.

11:59 People love you too, man. You wearing a Fitbit? Well, I had a smoothie this morning. Well, you're coughing just thinking about it. From a store I'm a rookie with it You might as well be It's so delicious. Dude, you're drinking sugar water. So that's not ketosis. Well, what are you trying to do? Yeah? What's the NBDL? That's not going to work. And try out for the NBDL man

14:37 The Knicks are so fucking terrible Oh, is he bad? He's terrible. Should have gone to Chicago. Also, I got hoop dreams, Joe. You do have hoop dreams? For real? I still believe. I still play ball. on new topics so you're just trying to be healthier is what you're trying to do yeah um and you try Last year, I just turned 34 last month. Yeah. And when you're sore and stiff, it fucks with your fine motor skills.

16:44 exactly how much effort to put on that ball. Exactly. You know, I know like when I crumple up a paper If I lift a lot of weights, my hands would get tired from gripping and squeezing things. Yeah. Is that the idea? We all was my record the Molly Boys like they're all they're all on Molly is that the idea super positive squad little sticks in your back pockets

18:32 My boy Bernard designed this shit. I saw her in something in the news recently, but no. That would sell like wildfire. You should sell those. I get a Mollywood You might be too swole I only wear at the gym for the How hard is it when you make delicious shit to eat non-delicious shit? But ultimately what you are is an- making it, I will eat anything.

21:34 There's like delicious steaks you can eat. and have your body That's what's killing me. This is, Exactly. And ketones is what your body burns off and it's not burning off carbohydrates. Like I would eat, and then after I ate, And then also, after I ate, about five hours later, I'd be fucking starving. Oh, the girls that are throwing up? So this would defeat the purpose of Kagenix, though, if I did the Bundy and I made, like,

24:23 It's a little sloppy. Oh, this isn't enough water? Oh, what's up? You just gotta write down that you don't allow yourself to drink at night And I miss bodegas. That's crazy. Yeah. Oof. You'll go through like these areas where it's maybe like 20 or 30 Thai restaurants It's fantastic. It's open until 2 or 3 o'clock You know, like Thai iced tea and Thai iced coffee.

27:20 But it's so yummy, right? Agave is apparently converted into your body just like sugar, just like cane sugar. Mm-mm. It's a trade-off. Yeah. The skinny look. Red pandas? I do. What kind of shit do you do? I do the kettlebell swings and shit like that, and then step-ups with kettlebells? Yeah. Yeah. Kettlebells are good. I do the kettlebell swings to a level of buffness

29:17 is this interesting podcast I want to say number 55 or 155. you should like say if you can lift something if you have a hundred pounds you can lift a hundred oftentimes you get better results by not pushing your body to extreme limits, right things need space time to breathe and then so does the human body and so i agree i don't do like exercises to

31:43 Like how hard is it to do? You know, like a nice piece of seared ahi, for example. is that it's not hard at all you get a fresh piece of ahi It was good. it's incredible. and it's the best song Extra nets. What do you got going on? And you hear a lot of people pitch things around town in New York. Yes. was a kid and just be like, you own this restaurant after me and we're going to sell steak. That's what

35:22 Wow. Yeah. and that's the point because i didn't want to go make a show that's like anybody else's it may be Yeah. He's the man. And I just fought and fought and fought all eight of these episodes. because the producer or whoever's going has already decided the story he wants to tell. We need a right voiceover and we need to set it up. what is the you know what I mean

38:44 because what you eat tells you so much about who you are, your culture, your values, your yeah until you know or kidnapped and there's a lot of these kids out there So we rode bikes with like 50, 60 kids in Juarez, just kind of civil disobedience, trying to take back the streets by riding through them. There was this one little taco stand in Juarez on the main strip that, you know, the Rolling Stones, whoever used to go perform at the main venue in Juarez, after the show, there was this small taco spot.

40:57 I just know you get pineapples, and it's grilled pork, It's like in the 70s 70s. Yeah. Mmm. Yeah and out El Paso So I think it's some bands did El Paso, came over. That's what's crazy is that when I was a kid, you never heard about violence inxico people to go to mexico to party everybody go to acapulco yeah you know If the news is going to show you some shit about Mexico, it's not going to show you

43:07 And that's why we did this episode on the border towns of Mexico. Well, the other problem is their economy is completely connected to the United States in a lot of ways. It's definitely in America. Let's go to Chicago. Like, how is it that Mexico has all this drug violence and all these problems, but there's this beautiful resort, I was like, wow, this is a wake-up call right here.

45:46 so I just wanted to show like, hey man, on the other side of this artificial line, this is what's And most of the Mexicans I know are hardworking people that are very friendly. And the thing is that the world needs more transparency and mobility. better life because my mom popped a squat like, we had to keep our tribe You can't even cross into lands unless you have the right papers.

48:01 White people. I'm convinced, and it works, right? I've got plans, dude. No, no, not in real life. because you have i don't know did you just promote reaganomics bro trickle down economics is real Some people are more dedicated to that game If you only think about how much money you can make, there's certain things you wouldn't say, there's certain ways you wouldn't speak.

51:19 You can start programs. It should be to live a good life. now it's just about winning the award it's not about doing the work right but where's that money you'd still be working out. You'd still be telling jokes. cut you off. Not enough. that everybody's giving them money for. like, I just think that we have to reconfigure our values and how we value things.

54:21 And some people have too much of it. I can go out to eat. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're trying to do. You want to go do something. Here's an apartment. Because people are fucking lazy. But if you have robots right if you have robots doing this stuff, right? work, you earn something. But then you're looking at the You ever seen a spoiled kid that comes from rich parents

58:14 You can. some people where man there's these people who work super hard and we can't pay them enough it's There's guys that work on the show with me. I will never change that guy. Well, they might, but they would have to have some sort of a life Go jerk off somewhere, man. They need an incentive. They need There are a lot of those people. There's some people man

1:01:16 They pull you over again. the money to pay their parking tickets or traffic violations and then over time you can't pay you But the idea that you're charging people to park on the street is fucking gross anyway. tickets then marks your tire with chalk to make sure that you're you know, you've you've where you're like Baltimore. He's like, no one fixed it.

1:04:05 aces what the fuck man give them one well we have to figure out a way we have to figure out a way to make the hands that people are dealt with in life far easier to move with yes and there's a Well, the thing is, all right, if I take the salary cap thing away, my idea is this, though, is I want to guarantee a baseline of living for people in America.

1:05:07 And also, if you're born in some of those communities, the key word you said is hope. I was selling weed, whatever. Incredible basketball player. don't get it, Eddie. Like the way you are, your parents, like they've taught you, you have a lived in America and they're like even if I worked hard even I see my parents He chose to feel sorry for himself.

1:07:24 And there's always going to be that that is an example for you because the people that fail in this weird each other. We don't just learn by by experience we learn from other people's experiences million examples of people who were told they're not going to be shit. Yeah, but you're an get a job. She's like, Lawyers, they die of being tired. Something has hit the internet that I oh no need to show you i guess it may or may not be legit but uh i've decided to retire

1:09:56 Look, he's got plenty of cash. He could always run a gym and be fine. Wasn't he involved or related in some way to one of those guys that just died too? Twitter, sort of. He could have gotten But you never know. If he's smart, he will retire young. It was good. It's like a pony keg now. I'm not trying to be like shredded and shit. Part of your identity?

1:13:13 But it's like, I have to watch it because I'm kind of on the line. It is, Joe. A lot. Like here, here's a good example. Give yourself 60 days. Say for 60 days, I'm going to go on a diet For 30 days? You don't drink? Every now and then, but understand the consequences. fun with your friends that you'll never forget yeah there's there's moments of like this this

1:15:59 It distorts reality. But when someone's an asshole when they're drunk, I usually find that's incredibly revealing so that's what happens. You know, you look right in their eye, It was great. What the fuck? She sounds like she could have been incredible, bro. if you date a drug addict it's hard enough to figure out But he always used to try to clean these girls up.

1:18:02 man, I should have listened to you. lets you concentrate on things other than your problems which you are not fixing avoid you're a I don't know why my personal views don't translate to my worldviews. Minimum wage is going to be $15 an hour. Yeah That's it. Legalize weed. You know, real estate in Colorado is up like 19%. No, no, no. Go crazy. And they charged 39%.

1:21:43 Exactly. Our culture we've got all these weird restrictions that are in place that are archaic and don't make any sense So the Republicans are panicking. Scroll up, please. blah, blah. Under the law, a person who violated the statute could go to jail for up to two years for selling dildos. looking for dick, People will give you what you need, But people have the right, they have the right to want a dick without a body attached to it.

1:25:02 Yeah. that wants to run this entire country has got to It's hard to fucking keep track of, though. brazil like brazil they're impeaching their fucking president right now the panama paper that does most of these transactions, They don't apply to the people making the laws Kick rocks. Yeah. When's it at? I was just at Dan's crib last night. This motherfucker's

1:27:59 Oh, my bad. You know this is my favorite podcast. Yeah. I had Dan booked for a long time. How are you here today? Okay. You know what I mean? And has he been ostracized You need to fucking grill him about this. I'm just like, don't hang out with that guy. That's so nice. The priorities are totally, definitely solid. I'll go to my grave with all that knowledge. And that's what a friend's supposed to be yeah so any guy would do that it's a piece

1:31:09 at Kalani then you gotta be mad at Nick Young or just don't be mad at either one of them because Hot girls take more hate than anybody on the planet. That's one of the problems You know, Kobe. I hated Kobe his whole career and I love you Oh yeah Dry snitch No, no. Dry snitch, chili pimp. You don't want to be a chili pimp, Joe. no, no. Can we pull up Chili Pimpy? You don't want to be a chili pimp, Joe.

1:33:15 Yeah, I get that. A pimp who is shivering because he only has one hoe in his stable. You can buy a mug that says Chili Pimp on it? The mug must have I can take this mug, We need him drinking out of... Some bulletproof coffee out of the chili pimp mug. I like that. Well, what's a sapiosexual? One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.

1:35:05 and touch randomly. That sounds like you know, Is that desperate? Perfect. Run now. Huh? You're also an asshole if you got to pay someone to make eggs. You're racist. This is what I want to talk to you about, because this is a big subject that's been going on now. That guy is taking shit from all these social justice warrior dipshits because he makes Mexican food and he's not Mexican.

1:37:27 Yeah. You know what I mean? You remember like in Jerry Maguire, they're like the Kwan. And Rick Bayless, being a white guy from Oklahoma, cooking maybe slightly above average Mexican food is a story. Rick Bayless. But you know what's weird, man? If you're a stand-up comedian Have you ever eaten his own cooking? I didn't meet him. if he's there or not.

1:39:40 Yeah. Sam Sifton came in. It's not the best. and knows all the history and identity and culture attached to this food and let them speak for their And I'm saying and is enamored the food. But you've never had it from him. I mean you might you might have had the bat Somebody wants to give them awards. He's a fan of the culture. You've given him the platform

1:43:18 When you have the Aztec hirachi restaurant in Highland Park that's fucking fire. They sell hirachis. It's like a corn... How the fuck do you even eat that thing? So it's a pizza. Yes. Right. I miss fucking hamburgers and a salad and nachos. We ate their hamburger and it tasted like Chinese food. This is some chef's creation. And I love hamburgers. And it's like if you're going to go to to a source why not just go to the source it's it for for many cultures you know like

1:47:34 It's harder because it's easier to call a guy that speaks English and can communicate with you. don't care right like well it's getting it's harder and harder to do that these days too Right. They'll say, oh, well, look at this, four and a half stars on Yelp. But I feel people are figuring it all out. But at the end of the day, I don't hold on to it anymore.

1:49:59 Do you like working as a chef and cooking and owning a restaurant? and I love that. I wake up every morning, I just do it. Yeah. So I started writing fiction because I want to write about my life, but I want to like kind of ground it in So you're a pretty diverse guy, man. I'm always writing, like picking up pieces from my life and creating characters.

1:52:45 You're a clown. Not too brutal, yeah. man i feel like i'm in the terminator i get in the zone i'm really good about getting in the zone i play one song i'll play one song and i'll loop it and i'll Makes you positive? You know what that is? I've got it open up here. No. Also, I'm way into, I used to do a blog too. um sometimes someone will write a blog and it'll change your day you know just it changes the

1:56:38 so I'm kind of making sure I really want to share these things now. Well, so there's a lot of people that live inside their phone. Yeah, we're going to learn a lot about ourselves constantly. I mean, everything is on Instagram. Everything is on Facebook. Anything that happens, Let me go jerk off and think about that. That's a college campus. There's this kid who was taking shit from this girl because he's a white guy with dreadlocks.

1:59:10 You have any, say to a friend, you have any scissors? Dreadlocks is what happens when you have dirty hair. I spent my life doing. And so that culture became a part So I'm not saying, oh, I know this shit. or a great article to try this mexican food like i wish they would just go to the neighborhood and You got problems. I get that yeah who turned out to actually be white.

2:03:06 She was totally insane. dicked her into delirium. She was a tough one. about before we can all learn like anybody that tells like little white lies maybe they'll they'll think just be who you are unless who you are sucks and then you should probably pretend you Name dropping. Yeah, but that's different. You can't name drop someone who we're both friends with.

2:05:42 Yeah. and I'm supposed to know really like the real name and people Why do people still try to do that? It doesn't work. Well, just weird behaviors, man. up your ass whatever their name is dumbass university well there's there's definitely planet out there. They said, I think that they said within 99 99 certainty that there's a gigantic planet somewhere around four

2:08:26 But Zachariah Sitchin, he is a biblical scholar. Sumerian art that in all the right sizes, which is kind of fucking crazy. It comes between Mars and Jupiter. It's different. And it's there. it's widely discredited by other scholars of ancient Babylonian and Sumerian culture, It's also the double helix of dna and then we're figuring it out again. Of DNA

2:11:55 And I was gonna design But it does look like That caduceus, that symbol still represents medicine today. How did they know that there was that many planets out there? I forget exactly what the – but essentially it's Earth 1 and Earth 2. And sitchiniswrong.com is from other scholars who were tired of listening to all this, what monkey people sitting in their lap.

2:14:27 if we found another planet we would drop our seeds someone would fuck A 36-foot tall... That shit is so not real. Look at some of those other images. They were like a flat top, but it was almost like a wedge, and that's what nails looked like. Clicked around on that one, okay. See that? It's very strange. At man. It's very strange. Their knowledge of the solar system was one of the most disturbing things because you're talking about six

2:17:48 Yeah. Like, oh, I've been wondering where you guys were. This is what you're supposed to do what the fuck are you doing? Look, if we've got Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders as our only hopes to be the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world has ever known, for fuck's sure we're doing it wrong. Yeah. about how we can improve our policies. You have some ideas on what laws that we can establish

2:20:28 Well, maybe he feels like the system is broken and he's in a situation to give his life meaning But I think that they can do it in a different way. You're telling us how stupid we are that we need the Anunnaki to come from a gigantic gold disc came out levitating telling us how stupid we are. Save these hoes. Are you going to Earth? They're going to come on your tits, bro.

2:22:08 I feel like if it was smart and they're weak I think even the shittiest Anunnaki is gonna fuck getting $30,000 a year and really doesn't have any motivation and they're weak. Right? That seems like what the universe opportunities to figure out, okay, we saw what happened in Fukushima. How do we get power and There's a dilemma that always has to be addressed.

2:23:48 Yeah, it's good. Wong's World comes out. with my brothers, yes thanks for having me I think they might have us beat. than the worst Anunnaki podcast?